1 00:00:01,208 --> 00:00:03,788 [bright tone] 2 00:00:04,667 --> 00:00:06,037 ♪ hip-hop music ♪ 3 00:00:06,125 --> 00:00:07,575 ♪ Whoa, yeah ♪ 4 00:00:07,667 --> 00:00:09,247 ♪♪♪ 5 00:00:09,333 --> 00:00:11,963 ♪ Yo, all over the globe we stay movin' ♪ 6 00:00:12,041 --> 00:00:13,461 ♪ Take flight, touch down ♪ 7 00:00:13,542 --> 00:00:14,462 ♪ Grab the blueprint ♪ 8 00:00:14,542 --> 00:00:16,832 ♪ Stay' alive, don't need 40 winks ♪ 9 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,077 ♪ I can barely afford something ♪ 10 00:00:18,166 --> 00:00:20,626 ♪ Yeah, I'm formulating this ♪ 11 00:00:20,709 --> 00:00:22,579 [Romesh] We're back at the hotel. 12 00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:24,327 Leesa and the kids have gone back to England. 13 00:00:24,417 --> 00:00:26,247 So we are in a situation now 14 00:00:26,333 --> 00:00:28,753 where I can't really afford to be forking out 15 00:00:28,834 --> 00:00:31,174 for a big house. 16 00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:32,790 You know, it's crunch time now. 17 00:00:32,875 --> 00:00:34,785 The Greek show is ten days away. 18 00:00:34,875 --> 00:00:37,245 I've just got to really go balls out 19 00:00:37,333 --> 00:00:39,713 and get as many tickets sold as I can, 20 00:00:39,792 --> 00:00:41,042 which at this stage, 21 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:43,875 if it was even 20 percent of tickets 22 00:00:43,959 --> 00:00:44,789 would be a fucking miracle. 23 00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:47,075 ♪ playful music ♪ 24 00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:49,376 I want us to think about ideas 25 00:00:49,458 --> 00:00:52,458 of how to just give the show the final push. 26 00:00:52,542 --> 00:00:53,582 - Mm-hmm. - Do you know what I mean? 27 00:00:53,667 --> 00:00:54,957 Mm. 28 00:00:55,041 --> 00:00:56,631 I've been talking to my publicist, 29 00:00:56,709 --> 00:01:00,879 and she suggested I could think about doing something, 30 00:01:00,959 --> 00:01:02,709 almost like a stunt or so--something 31 00:01:02,792 --> 00:01:04,462 that gets people interested, you know what I mean? 32 00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:08,132 You know, ideally like a story that goes viral or... 33 00:01:08,208 --> 00:01:09,878 - So I've got this. - [Shanthi] Yeah. 34 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:12,169 I throw it to you, you come up with an idea, okay? 35 00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:13,580 That's how we're gonna do it, and we throw it to each other. 36 00:01:13,667 --> 00:01:16,287 - [Shanthi] Okay. - Okay, my idea is 37 00:01:16,375 --> 00:01:17,955 running down the street with a billboard on. 38 00:01:18,041 --> 00:01:20,381 We'll just do quick ideas. 39 00:01:20,458 --> 00:01:23,248 Uh, when I went to the Sri Lankan restaurant, 40 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:24,883 there's a lot of people come there. 41 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,329 [Romesh] Okay. 42 00:01:26,417 --> 00:01:28,077 So I would love to go to that restaurant 43 00:01:28,166 --> 00:01:28,996 and put pamphlets or flyers or... 44 00:01:29,083 --> 00:01:31,713 - [Romesh] Okay. - Yeah? 45 00:01:34,750 --> 00:01:36,670 [Rags] Have you ever seen, like, in Sri Lanka and all, 46 00:01:36,750 --> 00:01:38,500 where the candidate would go in a van 47 00:01:38,583 --> 00:01:40,543 and say, "Vote for me, vote for me," 48 00:01:40,625 --> 00:01:42,125 and go around in a van? 49 00:01:42,208 --> 00:01:44,418 I'm just thinking something in that sort of line. 50 00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:46,750 All right, fine, I'll put--I'll put it down. 51 00:01:46,834 --> 00:01:48,754 I don't--but, uh-- by the way, I'm not 52 00:01:48,834 --> 00:01:50,544 saying that I'm definitely doing any of this. 53 00:01:50,625 --> 00:01:53,325 You promise me that you will put-put this into action 54 00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,667 instead of writing it down. 55 00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:55,830 I literally just said the opposite. 56 00:01:55,917 --> 00:01:56,627 Yeah, I didn't listen then. 57 00:01:56,709 --> 00:01:58,499 The second before you said that. 58 00:01:58,583 --> 00:01:59,173 - [Shanthi] Okay. - A moving billboard. 59 00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:01,080 How does that sound to you? 60 00:02:01,166 --> 00:02:03,746 Are you pitching the van idea again? 61 00:02:03,834 --> 00:02:06,334 [Shanthi] I am--I am going to see my cousin. 62 00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:08,037 This is--again, this is Sri Lankan. 63 00:02:08,125 --> 00:02:09,995 I'm just gonna put "times two" 64 00:02:10,083 --> 00:02:12,043 by your initial Sri Lankan idea. 65 00:02:12,125 --> 00:02:14,915 Run around naked with billboard one side. 66 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,210 Okay, but again, this is the idea we've already got. 67 00:02:17,291 --> 00:02:17,671 But run around naked. It's a new idea. 68 00:02:17,750 --> 00:02:20,380 Okay, Mum. 69 00:02:20,458 --> 00:02:22,708 [Shanthi] Instead of you standing with a billboard, 70 00:02:22,792 --> 00:02:26,292 I would love to go and approach that Sri Lankan people. 71 00:02:26,375 --> 00:02:27,375 Mm-hmm. 72 00:02:27,458 --> 00:02:29,168 [Romesh] What I was expecting 73 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:30,380 was, we just come up with too many ideas 74 00:02:30,458 --> 00:02:31,498 that we can't even process. 75 00:02:31,583 --> 00:02:32,713 What happened was, 76 00:02:32,792 --> 00:02:33,922 we came up with three ideas 77 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,960 and played a game of catch while we were repeating them. 78 00:02:36,041 --> 00:02:38,881 Rags, I'll try you. Go. 79 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,499 Let's do it. 80 00:02:40,583 --> 00:02:42,583 Okay, that's not an idea, though, is it? 81 00:02:44,375 --> 00:02:46,035 This is not going to work. 82 00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:48,165 No, it's been very useful. 83 00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:51,250 ♪ piano arpeggios ♪ 84 00:02:51,333 --> 00:02:56,213 ♪♪♪ 85 00:02:56,291 --> 00:02:57,541 [Rags] I'm going to 86 00:02:57,625 --> 00:03:00,575 actually show you something really exciting, mate. 87 00:03:00,667 --> 00:03:02,627 [Romesh] All right. All right. 88 00:03:02,709 --> 00:03:04,919 ♪ playful music ♪ 89 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:05,920 Ta-da. 90 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,330 Oh, my God. 91 00:03:08,417 --> 00:03:10,667 - Surprise. - This is amazing. 92 00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,250 [Romesh] When we were talking about ideas 93 00:03:12,333 --> 00:03:13,753 and you said maybe you could do a van... 94 00:03:13,834 --> 00:03:14,674 - [Rags] Yeah. - [Romesh] ...you had already 95 00:03:14,750 --> 00:03:16,380 - arranged this. - [Rags] You like it? 96 00:03:16,458 --> 00:03:16,918 [Romesh] I love it. 97 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,710 What the fuck is this? 98 00:03:19,792 --> 00:03:20,582 It is a glass box. 99 00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,827 No, I know that, but what I mean is, 100 00:03:22,959 --> 00:03:24,459 why is it on the back of this truck? 101 00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:26,170 Well, you're gonna get in there. 102 00:03:26,208 --> 00:03:27,998 I'm gonna take you for a spin. 103 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,495 Then pretty much telling the people that-- 104 00:03:29,583 --> 00:03:30,253 - Okay, okay. - You know what I mean? 105 00:03:30,333 --> 00:03:32,293 I knew that there had to be 106 00:03:32,375 --> 00:03:33,665 - a fuckup somewhere. - Why? 107 00:03:33,750 --> 00:03:35,330 I am not getting in a box, Rags. 108 00:03:35,417 --> 00:03:37,457 If we would've just take that without that 109 00:03:37,542 --> 00:03:38,832 - and you not in it-- - It would be great. 110 00:03:38,917 --> 00:03:40,327 It would be perfect. Yes, correct. 111 00:03:40,417 --> 00:03:41,787 It's like a fucking body without a head, mate. 112 00:03:41,875 --> 00:03:43,415 No, it isn't. 113 00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:44,500 The head's right there on the side of the van. 114 00:03:44,583 --> 00:03:46,423 But you got to be in it 115 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:47,830 to actually sell the tickets, man. 116 00:03:47,917 --> 00:03:49,207 No, you don't. 117 00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:50,461 You just drive around in the van. 118 00:03:50,542 --> 00:03:52,082 It says "Romesh in America." 119 00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:52,916 - Ticketmaster. - Did you hear what I said? 120 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,210 Thursday, 21 December, Greek Theatre. 121 00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:57,420 My face. This is a fucking terrible idea. 122 00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:59,170 - You're mental. - I'm not mental. 123 00:03:59,208 --> 00:04:00,628 You're mental if you think I'm getting 124 00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:02,080 in a glass box in the back of a fucking truck. 125 00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:03,078 [Rags] What the fuck's wrong with you? 126 00:04:03,208 --> 00:04:04,328 [Ben] You wanted him to think outside the box. 127 00:04:04,417 --> 00:04:06,537 Yeah, and he thought of a box. 128 00:04:06,625 --> 00:04:09,705 How many tickets have you fucking sold 129 00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:12,212 so far? 130 00:04:12,333 --> 00:04:13,833 [sighs] 131 00:04:13,917 --> 00:04:16,877 ♪ jazz music ♪ 132 00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:18,919 ♪♪♪ 133 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,580 [Rags] Rom, we're all set now. 134 00:04:20,667 --> 00:04:23,417 You gotta sell yourself, okay? 135 00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:25,790 Come on, man, start talking. Just start talking to people. 136 00:04:25,875 --> 00:04:28,165 Hello, mate, the sunglasses on. 137 00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:29,460 Dude, comedy show. 138 00:04:29,542 --> 00:04:32,292 21st of December, Greek Theatre. 139 00:04:32,375 --> 00:04:33,745 You coming? 140 00:04:33,834 --> 00:04:34,674 This is depressing. 141 00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:36,420 H-here's a couple with a-a camera. 142 00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:38,380 Just make use of that. 143 00:04:38,458 --> 00:04:39,538 Hey, guys, I'm doing a show at the Greek Theatre, 144 00:04:39,625 --> 00:04:42,915 21st of December. It's gonna be amazing. 145 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:43,960 Whenever you can, do a-- 146 00:04:44,041 --> 00:04:45,671 Rags, Rags, how fast are you going, man? 147 00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:47,210 Jesus. 148 00:04:47,291 --> 00:04:48,131 It's working. It's working, mate. 149 00:04:48,208 --> 00:04:49,288 Keep going. 150 00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:50,575 People by the traffic lights, 151 00:04:50,667 --> 00:04:52,457 I'm doing a show at the Greek Theatre 152 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,132 on the 21st of December. 153 00:04:54,208 --> 00:04:55,958 [Ben] You did get a bit of a crowd around it. 154 00:04:56,041 --> 00:04:57,831 Yeah, but they were looking at me like I'm a spectacle. 155 00:04:57,917 --> 00:04:59,707 They weren't going, "Let's go see and his show." 156 00:04:59,792 --> 00:05:01,882 They were like, "Oh, this prick is in a glass box." 157 00:05:01,959 --> 00:05:05,169 Somebody shouted, "Are you the brown pope?" 158 00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:06,750 [Romesh] Okay, can we just go now? 159 00:05:06,834 --> 00:05:09,084 [Rags] Rom, I've gone out of the way 160 00:05:09,166 --> 00:05:09,626 to get this done. 161 00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:11,629 Do your job, okay? 162 00:05:11,709 --> 00:05:13,039 Which is selling the tickets. 163 00:05:13,125 --> 00:05:14,995 Let's just go, please. 164 00:05:15,083 --> 00:05:17,963 I am asking to be released from this prison. 165 00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:19,881 I'm not taking the straps off you 166 00:05:19,959 --> 00:05:23,749 until we've sold at least 4,000 tickets today. 167 00:05:23,834 --> 00:05:25,294 Rags. Rags. 168 00:05:25,375 --> 00:05:26,495 - Rags. - [Rags] Yes, yes. 169 00:05:26,583 --> 00:05:28,463 [Romesh] I want to go home, Rags. 170 00:05:28,542 --> 00:05:30,792 Rags. I want to go home, Rags. 171 00:05:30,875 --> 00:05:34,625 - Stop acting like you... - Rags, Rags, Rags. 172 00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:35,459 [Romesh] I gave it a go, and then I said, 173 00:05:35,542 --> 00:05:37,962 "I don't wanna be in here anymore." 174 00:05:38,041 --> 00:05:39,331 And then he refused to let me out. 175 00:05:39,417 --> 00:05:40,747 Rags, Rags. 176 00:05:40,834 --> 00:05:42,504 [Ben] So what did you do? 177 00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:43,963 [Romesh] I basically got pissed off with him 178 00:05:44,041 --> 00:05:45,961 and started saying nasty things about him 179 00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:47,001 just to piss him off. 180 00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:49,463 Hello, madam, my uncle's driving the van. 181 00:05:49,542 --> 00:05:51,042 He's here illegally. Please let authorities know. 182 00:05:51,125 --> 00:05:52,995 [Rags] Rom. 183 00:05:53,083 --> 00:05:54,463 The man driving this van 184 00:05:54,542 --> 00:05:55,752 recently bought himself a penis pump. 185 00:05:55,834 --> 00:05:57,384 Rom. 186 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:58,708 The man driving this van likes to go to the beach 187 00:05:58,792 --> 00:05:59,752 and expose himself. 188 00:05:59,834 --> 00:06:01,004 If you don't shut up... 189 00:06:01,083 --> 00:06:03,083 [Romesh] The man driving this van has seven nipples. 190 00:06:03,166 --> 00:06:04,576 He's had two of them removed. 191 00:06:04,667 --> 00:06:06,287 He still has five left. 192 00:06:06,375 --> 00:06:09,325 [Ben] Slightly childish. 193 00:06:09,417 --> 00:06:10,827 Yeah, I mean, it's not the most mature thing I've ever done, 194 00:06:10,917 --> 00:06:11,997 but it's not the least. 195 00:06:12,083 --> 00:06:15,583 People, this man, my nephew-- so-called nephew, 196 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:19,667 he locked me in the garage every night. 197 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,750 I couldn't even go out to pee. 198 00:06:21,834 --> 00:06:23,584 We had to do that for the safety of the children 199 00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:25,417 in the area. 200 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:27,710 It was the only way. He's like a pedo werewolf. 201 00:06:27,792 --> 00:06:29,792 [Ben] What's your plan? [stammers] 202 00:06:29,875 --> 00:06:32,125 You haven't really come up with anything that much better yet. 203 00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:34,498 Yes, I have come up with something better: 204 00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:36,423 not being in a box 205 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,380 on the back of a van driving around LA. 206 00:06:38,458 --> 00:06:39,828 There's my idea. 207 00:06:39,917 --> 00:06:40,787 And it's infinitely better than his. 208 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,380 [Ben] Rom, what are you doing? 209 00:06:44,458 --> 00:06:46,288 [Romesh] I'm not-- I'm done with this, mate. 210 00:06:46,375 --> 00:06:48,035 [Ben] It's looking great. 211 00:06:48,125 --> 00:06:49,745 [Romesh] I don't give a shit. 212 00:06:49,834 --> 00:06:51,884 - Rags, I'm going. - You're going? 213 00:06:51,959 --> 00:06:53,829 After spending all this money, mate? 214 00:06:53,917 --> 00:06:55,997 - You know how much it cost us? - I don't care. 215 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,923 - You know how much it cost us? - I don't know. Oh, Jesus. 216 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,790 Thousands of dollars. Get in the bloody car. 217 00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:03,705 My back's hurting. And it's boiling hot. 218 00:07:03,792 --> 00:07:05,212 - [Rags] Honestly, man. - [Romesh] Just go. 219 00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,251 Fuck. 220 00:07:07,333 --> 00:07:09,753 All right, enough, bro. 221 00:07:09,834 --> 00:07:10,254 [mumbling indistinctly] 222 00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:11,753 It's a massively... 223 00:07:11,834 --> 00:07:13,834 Do you even know how to drive this thing? 224 00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:17,745 [Romesh] Why are you being like this now? 225 00:07:17,834 --> 00:07:18,964 - [tires screech] - [horn honks] 226 00:07:19,041 --> 00:07:23,461 ♪ calm music ♪ 227 00:07:23,542 --> 00:07:26,082 [Ben] Rom, where's-- where's Rags? 228 00:07:26,166 --> 00:07:29,246 We decided we need a bit of time apart, so... 229 00:07:29,333 --> 00:07:30,583 God knows. 230 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:33,077 [Ben] What's going on? 231 00:07:33,166 --> 00:07:37,076 ♪♪♪ 232 00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:39,416 [knocking] 233 00:07:40,709 --> 00:07:41,329 - Hello? - Hello, how are you? 234 00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:42,747 Come in, come in. 235 00:07:42,834 --> 00:07:44,464 - Good, thank you. - Yeah. Come in. 236 00:07:44,542 --> 00:07:46,832 - Hello. - [both] Hi. 237 00:07:46,917 --> 00:07:48,957 Oh, hi. You guys hanging out? 238 00:07:49,041 --> 00:07:50,331 Yeah, yeah. 239 00:07:50,417 --> 00:07:52,457 Love--lovely to see my own people. 240 00:07:52,542 --> 00:07:54,542 - [Romesh] Yeah. - [Shanthi] And, uh... 241 00:07:54,625 --> 00:07:55,955 Did you guys bring all this? 242 00:07:56,041 --> 00:07:56,791 [Shanthi] Lalith did. Lalith did. 243 00:07:56,875 --> 00:07:59,625 Because he own a restaurant here. 244 00:07:59,709 --> 00:08:00,629 Oh, yo-you're--the restaurant you went to? 245 00:08:00,709 --> 00:08:02,879 I went. I was telling you all about it. 246 00:08:02,959 --> 00:08:05,829 [Lalith] She had hoppers. She had string hoppers. 247 00:08:05,917 --> 00:08:07,457 Everything she want, I made it for her. 248 00:08:07,542 --> 00:08:08,962 - [laughs] - [Shanthi] I know. 249 00:08:09,041 --> 00:08:10,291 [Lalith] She was going, I want this, I want that." 250 00:08:10,375 --> 00:08:11,995 [laughter] 251 00:08:12,041 --> 00:08:14,711 Um, Mum, could-- do you mind if I have a quick-- 252 00:08:14,792 --> 00:08:16,042 Just, I need to chat to you about something Rags did. 253 00:08:16,166 --> 00:08:17,536 Of course. Excuse me. 254 00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:18,667 - Sure. - [Romesh] Sorry. Thank you. 255 00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:20,750 ♪ lounge music ♪ 256 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:21,674 [Shanthi] What do you want to talk to me about? 257 00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:23,210 [Romesh] What is going on? 258 00:08:23,291 --> 00:08:25,001 [Shanthi] They're having a big event on Saturday. 259 00:08:25,083 --> 00:08:28,213 So I thought this is a good opportunity for you to go 260 00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:31,211 and meet everybody and, you know, 261 00:08:31,291 --> 00:08:32,131 sell more tickets as well. 262 00:08:32,208 --> 00:08:34,628 So... 263 00:08:34,709 --> 00:08:36,039 I want you to come and... 264 00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:38,745 - And do what? - As a guest of honor. 265 00:08:38,834 --> 00:08:40,424 But what does a guest of honor do? 266 00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:42,210 Nothing. Just sit there. 267 00:08:42,291 --> 00:08:44,381 Meet everybody. Mix with them. 268 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:45,708 Mingle with them. Talk to them. 269 00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:49,042 Be nice to them. Give them a smile. 270 00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:51,035 - Is anything wrong with that? - Yes. E-everything. 271 00:08:51,125 --> 00:08:53,785 - What do you mean? - Have you told them... 272 00:08:53,875 --> 00:08:55,205 No, I haven't told them anything. 273 00:08:55,291 --> 00:08:56,331 I thought I'll get your permission first. 274 00:08:56,417 --> 00:08:58,377 But I'm asking you, 275 00:08:58,458 --> 00:09:00,078 you will do this for me? 276 00:09:00,166 --> 00:09:02,626 Well, let me just think-- let me think about it. 277 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,249 But you haven't told them? 278 00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:06,713 I haven't told them. Okay? 279 00:09:06,792 --> 00:09:08,922 - Okay. Fine. - Okay. 280 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,420 [Romesh] So, yeah, what exactly is the, uh, event? 281 00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,290 - It's Saturday. - Yeah. 282 00:09:14,375 --> 00:09:17,575 Uh, it's all cultural Sri Lankan, uh, event. 283 00:09:17,667 --> 00:09:18,917 Live music. 284 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,580 Band--live band is gonna be there, and, yeah. 285 00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:22,747 Yeah, sounds like it could be a lot of fun. 286 00:09:22,834 --> 00:09:24,964 It is fun, yeah, and by the way, 287 00:09:25,041 --> 00:09:26,881 thank you for agreeing to come there. 288 00:09:28,542 --> 00:09:30,462 Oh, no problem. 289 00:09:30,542 --> 00:09:32,632 No problem. I'd be delighted to come. 290 00:09:32,709 --> 00:09:33,829 [man] If you can, you know, though, 291 00:09:33,917 --> 00:09:36,077 you can, like, do some skit there, 292 00:09:36,166 --> 00:09:39,076 - uh, for the people... - Like, do com-comedy? 293 00:09:39,166 --> 00:09:40,576 Like--yeah. 294 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:41,997 Okay, that sounds great. What a lot of surprises. 295 00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:44,463 - [Shanthi] You like it? - [Romesh] Yes. Very happy. 296 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,712 - That's good. There you are. - Yeah. 297 00:09:46,792 --> 00:09:48,792 Come on. [shrieks joyfully] 298 00:09:48,875 --> 00:09:51,035 [laughs] 299 00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:51,995 [Romesh] Mm. 300 00:09:55,375 --> 00:09:57,955 ♪ My head stays spinning like clothes in the laundro ♪ 301 00:09:58,041 --> 00:10:00,461 ♪ Never lost for words, though ♪ 302 00:10:00,542 --> 00:10:01,752 ♪ I got that all on track ♪ 303 00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,674 ♪ So you better fall back ♪ 304 00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:04,750 ♪ If you don't come correct when you rap ♪ 305 00:10:04,834 --> 00:10:08,584 ♪ Got my lyrics on tap ♪ 306 00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:09,787 [Romesh] Hello, it's Romesh. 307 00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:11,575 What's this about Lupe Fiasco? 308 00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:13,457 Publicist called. 309 00:10:13,542 --> 00:10:14,962 It's looking very likely 310 00:10:15,041 --> 00:10:17,131 that I've got Lupe Fiasco on my podcast. 311 00:10:17,208 --> 00:10:18,208 No, no, no-- I was just gonna say 312 00:10:18,291 --> 00:10:20,331 thank you so much and that I'm really grateful. 313 00:10:20,417 --> 00:10:21,077 I think that would be a great get 314 00:10:21,166 --> 00:10:23,286 for the podcast, so thank you. 315 00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:24,785 I mean, I am genuinely-- I'm not just saying this. 316 00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:25,785 I am massive fan, so that is... 317 00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:28,165 that is pretty incredible. 318 00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:29,790 [Ben] Is that that big a deal? 319 00:10:29,875 --> 00:10:31,325 [Romesh] Yes, it's a massive deal. 320 00:10:31,417 --> 00:10:33,167 Pushes me, pushes tickets. It's great. 321 00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:34,790 I just need to go meet him at his gig, 322 00:10:34,875 --> 00:10:36,785 charm him a bit, and then we're in. 323 00:10:36,875 --> 00:10:38,625 Rom, if this doesn't happen, 324 00:10:38,709 --> 00:10:41,499 do you have a plan B? 325 00:10:41,583 --> 00:10:43,333 I think it will happen. It will happen. 326 00:10:43,417 --> 00:10:45,127 But he's relying on the publicist still. 327 00:10:45,208 --> 00:10:48,998 Well, is this worse than being in the back of a van? 328 00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:51,173 Half of the time, he was insulting me 329 00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:52,330 on the microphone to all these people. 330 00:10:52,417 --> 00:10:53,997 No, I wasn't. 331 00:10:54,083 --> 00:10:55,173 - You called me a... - What were you saying there? 332 00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:56,920 ...pedo. 333 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,500 What else did he call me? An illegal immigrant. 334 00:10:59,583 --> 00:11:01,333 Seriously, man. 335 00:11:01,417 --> 00:11:03,537 I'm very disappointed in you, calling him all these names. 336 00:11:03,625 --> 00:11:04,495 Be disappointed in him. He's the pedo. 337 00:11:04,583 --> 00:11:06,753 He's not. 338 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,538 I was only messing around anyway. 339 00:11:08,625 --> 00:11:10,705 Shall we celebrate by finishing off our laundry? 340 00:11:10,792 --> 00:11:11,712 Are we ready, are we? 341 00:11:11,792 --> 00:11:13,212 Whose underpants is this? 342 00:11:13,291 --> 00:11:15,501 - Oh, that's mine. Sorry. - Jesus Christ, Rags. 343 00:11:15,583 --> 00:11:16,503 I don't know, somehow it got caught in that. 344 00:11:16,583 --> 00:11:17,713 [Shanthi] Those are very small underpants. 345 00:11:17,792 --> 00:11:20,002 I don't wear this anymore. 346 00:11:20,083 --> 00:11:21,383 I don't know how it got mixed up, but anyway... 347 00:11:21,458 --> 00:11:22,538 You don't know how it got mixed up. 348 00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:24,245 - [laughs] - Seriously. 349 00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:25,333 ♪ I keep pushing mummies ♪ 350 00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:27,377 ♪ Please don't try and tell me nothing ♪ 351 00:11:27,458 --> 00:11:29,038 ♪ You are not my demographic ♪ 352 00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:29,875 ♪ I don't care if you say, "Fuck him" ♪ 353 00:11:29,959 --> 00:11:32,789 ♪ I'm erratic with my rappin' ♪ 354 00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:34,745 ♪ Give a fuck if you say something about my lyrics ♪ 355 00:11:34,834 --> 00:11:36,294 ♪ I spit lyrics for the nutter showin' nothing ♪ 356 00:11:36,375 --> 00:11:38,375 ♪ I be sittin' here ♪ 357 00:11:38,458 --> 00:11:39,328 - [woman] Hey. - [Romesh] Katie. Hello. 358 00:11:39,417 --> 00:11:41,457 - I'm Romesh. How you doing? - I'm good. 359 00:11:41,542 --> 00:11:43,712 I think you've been speaking to my publicist. 360 00:11:43,792 --> 00:11:45,042 Thank you very much for sorting out a ticket. 361 00:11:45,125 --> 00:11:47,955 - Um, I do a podcast... - Right. 362 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,081 ...called Hip Hop Saved My Life. 363 00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:51,456 It's named after one of Lupe's songs, obviously. 364 00:11:51,542 --> 00:11:55,132 Um, I was wondering if there's any chance I could get a chance 365 00:11:55,208 --> 00:11:55,748 to, like, just ask him 366 00:11:55,834 --> 00:11:57,044 to be on the podcast. 367 00:11:57,125 --> 00:11:59,415 Are you an artist? Do you, like, rap? 368 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:00,290 I'm really into hip-hop. 369 00:12:00,375 --> 00:12:02,745 Like, I used to do a bit of stuff myself 370 00:12:02,834 --> 00:12:04,044 and things like that, so... 371 00:12:04,125 --> 00:12:05,415 You think you can, like, rap for me? 372 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,420 Uh... 373 00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:08,380 Y'all wanna hear him freestyle? 374 00:12:08,458 --> 00:12:11,168 [woman] Yeah, what-what-what you got? 375 00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:12,330 Shit, you want me to actually do it now? 376 00:12:12,417 --> 00:12:14,037 - Yeah. - Yes! 377 00:12:14,125 --> 00:12:14,915 I can't really rap, so I'm just giving it a go, because... 378 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,080 [man] Spit the bars, my nigga. 379 00:12:18,166 --> 00:12:18,416 [laughter] 380 00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,250 Uh... 381 00:12:20,333 --> 00:12:22,213 ♪ My name's Romesh and I'm hot like Tabasco ♪ 382 00:12:22,291 --> 00:12:25,961 ♪ I'm at the Belasco backstage at Lupe Fiasco ♪ 383 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,290 ♪ I love Lupe, but Lupe don't know me ♪ 384 00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:30,793 ♪ So I'm gonna announce and pronounce my name slowly ♪ 385 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:33,334 ♪ Romesh Ranganathan, hip-hop is my heaven ♪ 386 00:12:33,417 --> 00:12:35,667 ♪ An Uber driver told me I look like I work in 7-Eleven ♪ 387 00:12:35,792 --> 00:12:37,292 - Bars. - Thank you very much. 388 00:12:37,417 --> 00:12:39,667 ♪ I come rotten like a sheep shaggin' some mutton ♪ 389 00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:41,920 ♪ My style is super memorable, your style is soon forgotten ♪ 390 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,170 ♪ It's not on, I rock on ♪ 391 00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:45,500 ♪ Any track I drop on ♪ 392 00:12:45,583 --> 00:12:48,293 ♪ Scary like a prison guard about to strap his cock on ♪ 393 00:12:48,417 --> 00:12:49,497 ♪ But facing away ♪ 394 00:12:49,583 --> 00:12:52,173 ♪ I come wicked, like the devil's ejaculate ♪ 395 00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:54,670 ♪ The immaculate conception of my form is uncompassionate ♪ 396 00:12:54,750 --> 00:12:57,170 ♪ To mediocrity, hypocrisy, or monotony ♪ 397 00:12:57,250 --> 00:12:58,920 ♪ Stepping to me first in this cypher is false economy ♪ 398 00:12:58,959 --> 00:13:00,829 ♪ Ask your friends about me ♪ 399 00:13:00,917 --> 00:13:01,997 ♪ They'll tell you that I'm the nicest ♪ 400 00:13:02,041 --> 00:13:03,961 ♪ I'm MC Colonel Sanders ♪ 401 00:13:04,041 --> 00:13:05,381 ♪ I've got flavor like 11 herbs and spices ♪ 402 00:13:05,458 --> 00:13:07,958 - [cheering] - [man] Whoo! 403 00:13:08,041 --> 00:13:09,961 [Romesh] Thank you, that's it. That's all I've got. 404 00:13:10,041 --> 00:13:11,381 - [cheers and applause] - Cheers, mate. 405 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:11,918 [Ben] You were surprisingly good. 406 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,040 [Romesh] Thank you. 407 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,575 [Ben] You were quite lucky that 408 00:13:15,667 --> 00:13:16,747 the venue was called Belasco. 409 00:13:16,834 --> 00:13:18,584 Correct. 410 00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:20,327 Also lucky 411 00:13:20,417 --> 00:13:22,957 that one of my favorite hot sauces is Tabasco. 412 00:13:23,041 --> 00:13:24,751 [Romesh] Thank you. Holy shit. 413 00:13:24,834 --> 00:13:26,424 [laughter] 414 00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:27,750 Oh, shit, what's up, bro? 415 00:13:27,834 --> 00:13:28,584 - How you doing? - [Lupe] What's up, man? 416 00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:30,417 - What's your name? - Romesh. 417 00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,130 - Romesh? - Yes, um... 418 00:13:32,208 --> 00:13:34,208 I do a podcast that's named after one of your tunes, 419 00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:35,291 Hip Hop Saved My Life. 420 00:13:35,375 --> 00:13:36,575 Okay, okay. Thank you. 421 00:13:36,667 --> 00:13:37,497 And it would be an absolute honor 422 00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:39,673 if you'd be on it, man. That'd be amazing. 423 00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:42,040 I don't know, man. Um... 424 00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:43,705 I got my mum--uh, my mum was the last guest on it, 425 00:13:43,792 --> 00:13:45,542 to be honest with you, 'cause she likes it. 426 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,035 [laughter] 427 00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:47,825 But she can't really spit, so... 428 00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:50,497 But you can spit, though. 429 00:13:50,583 --> 00:13:52,463 - Uh, well, I gave it a go. - [Lupe] You got some bars. 430 00:13:52,542 --> 00:13:54,172 - You got a little bar. - I used to do a bit, you know. 431 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,290 So look, I jump on on your show. 432 00:13:57,375 --> 00:13:59,745 You come on my show, yeah? 433 00:13:59,834 --> 00:14:01,794 - What, this show? - Yeah, yeah. 434 00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,785 I mean, that would be amazing, but I don't know what to say. 435 00:14:03,875 --> 00:14:05,455 That would be amazing. 436 00:14:05,542 --> 00:14:07,292 [applause] 437 00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:08,325 That's mad. 438 00:14:08,417 --> 00:14:09,627 I mean, he dope, right? 439 00:14:09,709 --> 00:14:10,879 - [all] Yeah. - Okay, okay. 440 00:14:10,959 --> 00:14:11,629 I'm buzzing, man. That's so good. 441 00:14:11,709 --> 00:14:13,459 Yeah, yeah, I'm up for it, man. 442 00:14:13,542 --> 00:14:14,672 All right, I'll see you up there, then. 443 00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:16,960 - [Lupe] I'll see you up there. - Cheers. All right, cool. 444 00:14:17,041 --> 00:14:18,131 How you feel? 445 00:14:18,208 --> 00:14:19,378 Oh, my God. 446 00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:20,788 [buzzer blares] 447 00:14:20,875 --> 00:14:22,125 [cheers and applause] 448 00:14:22,208 --> 00:14:25,038 [Romesh] I'm gonna spit the bars. 449 00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:27,955 He comes on the podcast. 450 00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:29,581 Life is great. 451 00:14:31,750 --> 00:14:32,830 It's fucking mad. 452 00:14:32,917 --> 00:14:35,247 [crowd stomping] 453 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:38,333 ♪ calm music ♪ 454 00:14:38,417 --> 00:14:40,537 [sighs] 455 00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:42,665 Oh, hi, how you doing, Rom? 456 00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:43,670 - Not great. - What? What's up? 457 00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:47,580 One of the most embarrassing nights of my life. 458 00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:49,207 What do you mean? 459 00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:51,381 So I'm watching the gig from the side of the stage... 460 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:52,128 [cheers and applause] 461 00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:54,958 [Lupe] Before I came onstage, 462 00:14:55,041 --> 00:14:57,131 I heard some dude with, like, some weird-ass accent, 463 00:14:57,208 --> 00:14:58,498 like, freestyling, right? 464 00:14:58,583 --> 00:15:00,253 [crowd cheering] 465 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,383 Make some noise for my homey Romesh, y'all. 466 00:15:02,458 --> 00:15:02,998 [cheers and applause] 467 00:15:03,083 --> 00:15:06,083 Is he ready to kill it? 468 00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:08,626 And then he brings me up. 469 00:15:08,709 --> 00:15:10,789 I think I'm gonna start, like, rapping or something. 470 00:15:10,875 --> 00:15:12,375 And then... 471 00:15:12,458 --> 00:15:13,498 [sighs] 472 00:15:13,583 --> 00:15:18,463 [all] ♪ If you are what you say you are ♪ 473 00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:20,832 ♪ A superstar ♪ 474 00:15:20,917 --> 00:15:23,577 ♪ Then have no fear ♪ 475 00:15:23,667 --> 00:15:25,417 ♪ The camera's here ♪ 476 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,540 ♪ And the microphones ♪ 477 00:15:27,625 --> 00:15:28,875 My nigga, come on. 478 00:15:28,959 --> 00:15:30,039 [all] ♪ They want to know ♪ 479 00:15:30,125 --> 00:15:33,455 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 480 00:15:34,125 --> 00:15:35,825 I don't wanna talk about it. 481 00:15:35,917 --> 00:15:37,327 No, look, come on. 482 00:15:37,417 --> 00:15:39,627 So, yeah, wh-what happened after that? 483 00:15:39,709 --> 00:15:40,959 Well, just all the people-- 484 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,381 Did he give you the chance to do it? 485 00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:43,538 ♪ Say ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪ 486 00:15:43,625 --> 00:15:47,375 - ♪ Let me hear you say ♪ - ♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪ 487 00:15:47,458 --> 00:15:49,168 No. 488 00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:50,210 Why would he get you onstage and then, uh--you know. 489 00:15:50,291 --> 00:15:51,711 I don't know. 490 00:15:51,792 --> 00:15:53,832 So I just stood there like a fucking backing dancer 491 00:15:53,917 --> 00:15:54,877 for the whole thing. 492 00:15:54,959 --> 00:15:58,789 ♪ A superstar ♪ 493 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:01,075 ♪ Then have no fear ♪ 494 00:16:01,166 --> 00:16:04,206 So he-he'd, like--he'll-- 495 00:16:04,291 --> 00:16:06,711 He--I kept thinking he was gonna give me the mic, 496 00:16:06,792 --> 00:16:08,002 but he didn't. 497 00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:09,753 ♪ Like lady who sung "Blue" ♪ 498 00:16:09,834 --> 00:16:11,584 ♪ Go back, whatever you did, you undo ♪ 499 00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:14,457 ♪ Heavy as heaven, the devil on me, two sons too ♪ 500 00:16:16,333 --> 00:16:17,923 Oh, my God. 501 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,880 [all] ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 502 00:16:20,959 --> 00:16:22,749 - ♪ Yeah ♪ - [cheers and applause] 503 00:16:22,834 --> 00:16:24,294 And then we didn't even, like... 504 00:16:24,375 --> 00:16:26,415 we didn't even sort out, actually, a date 505 00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:27,830 that we're gonna do the pod-- 506 00:16:27,917 --> 00:16:28,747 He said, "I'll definitely do the podcast." 507 00:16:28,834 --> 00:16:32,044 But I don't know how that's gonna happen. 508 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,495 You should've had-had Lupe by the throat on the stage, mate. 509 00:16:34,583 --> 00:16:36,213 How would that have helped? 510 00:16:36,291 --> 00:16:37,881 You should've smacked him in the fucking head. 511 00:16:37,959 --> 00:16:38,959 He can't treat you like that, man. 512 00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,751 You are bigger than him. 513 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,214 I'm not bigger than him, Rags. 514 00:16:42,291 --> 00:16:43,081 Well, in the comedy world. 515 00:16:43,166 --> 00:16:45,786 He's not a comedian, is he? 516 00:16:45,875 --> 00:16:46,705 I'm sort of at the point now where I just think, 517 00:16:46,792 --> 00:16:49,542 "What is the point of doing this anymore?" 518 00:16:49,625 --> 00:16:51,415 Are you bloody joking me? 519 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,500 What's the point? We're not getting anywhere. 520 00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:55,503 I'm just pissed off 'cause Leesa and the kids aren't here. 521 00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:58,293 And then I think finally I've got, like, a good thing, 522 00:16:58,375 --> 00:16:59,665 and then it just fucks up. 523 00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:01,290 Rom, we did a good thing yesterday. 524 00:17:01,375 --> 00:17:04,875 We don't know what's come out from that. 525 00:17:04,959 --> 00:17:07,039 And then Shanthi's got something planned. 526 00:17:07,125 --> 00:17:08,455 So that could work out. 527 00:17:08,542 --> 00:17:09,882 I tell you what. 528 00:17:09,959 --> 00:17:11,459 I did something special for you. 529 00:17:11,542 --> 00:17:13,672 This was meant to be on the night 530 00:17:13,750 --> 00:17:15,960 that you're gonna do the stand-up. 531 00:17:16,041 --> 00:17:18,041 I was gonna give it to you motivate you, okay, 532 00:17:18,125 --> 00:17:20,205 before the show. 533 00:17:20,291 --> 00:17:22,291 But I'm gonna show it to you now, man. 534 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,575 [Theo] Go. 535 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:24,707 Have a look at it. 536 00:17:24,792 --> 00:17:26,292 [Rags] Here we are, mate. 537 00:17:26,375 --> 00:17:27,205 - Tonight's the 21st December. - December! 538 00:17:27,291 --> 00:17:29,581 We are at the Greek Theatre, man. 539 00:17:29,667 --> 00:17:30,667 All right? 540 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,670 What is this? 541 00:17:32,750 --> 00:17:34,330 [Rags] This is our big night, 542 00:17:34,417 --> 00:17:35,827 so what I've done, I've written this 543 00:17:35,917 --> 00:17:37,417 amazing rap for you. 544 00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:38,830 Let's go, Theo, now with the rap. 545 00:17:38,917 --> 00:17:39,957 Okay. 546 00:17:40,041 --> 00:17:42,501 [beatboxing] 547 00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:43,833 ♪ Dad, I love you, and you're the best ♪ 548 00:17:43,917 --> 00:17:46,287 ♪ That's why you're like Crawley and headed to the-- ♪ 549 00:17:46,375 --> 00:17:48,165 ♪ To the west ♪ 550 00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:49,960 ♪ You look really cool on that billboard ♪ 551 00:17:50,041 --> 00:17:52,631 ♪ I think Uncle Rags deserves an award ♪ 552 00:17:52,709 --> 00:17:54,079 ♪ Like an Oscar or-- ♪ 553 00:17:54,208 --> 00:17:55,328 Do I really have to say this? 554 00:17:55,417 --> 00:17:57,707 [Rags] Go ahead. 555 00:17:57,792 --> 00:17:59,292 ♪ You're the best in-- ♪ 556 00:17:59,375 --> 00:18:01,035 ♪ Best comedian in the UK ♪ 557 00:18:01,125 --> 00:18:03,665 ♪ Also in Australia and maybe LA ♪ 558 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,670 ♪ You will be awesome, so don't feel blue ♪ 559 00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:09,330 ♪ Maybe I should open the Greek for you ♪ 560 00:18:09,417 --> 00:18:11,957 Just think about it, Rom. I'm serious, man. I can do it. 561 00:18:12,041 --> 00:18:15,291 ♪ But you're the star, so just remember ♪ 562 00:18:15,375 --> 00:18:16,955 ♪ You're gonna sell out the Greek ♪ 563 00:18:17,041 --> 00:18:19,041 ♪ On 21st of December ♪ 564 00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:21,325 - Go, Romesh! - Yay! 565 00:18:21,417 --> 00:18:23,627 [Rags] Isn't it wonderful? 566 00:18:23,709 --> 00:18:24,709 That was amazing. 567 00:18:24,792 --> 00:18:25,582 Yeah? 568 00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:27,457 I mean, it was shit. 569 00:18:27,542 --> 00:18:28,962 - I know I can't rap. - But it was--it was lovely. 570 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:31,291 - It was very nice. - I love you, man. 571 00:18:31,375 --> 00:18:32,705 - [Romesh] I love you too. - [Rags] Yeah, thank you, bro. 572 00:18:36,041 --> 00:18:38,751 ♪ ominous music ♪ 573 00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:43,634 ♪♪♪ 574 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,632 All right, should we get this shit done, then? 575 00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:49,329 What do you mean, "shit done"? 576 00:18:49,417 --> 00:18:51,287 - I just mean-- - I have organized all this. 577 00:18:51,375 --> 00:18:53,955 Enjoy, okay? Please. 578 00:18:54,041 --> 00:18:55,461 [Ben] So it's only a week to the Greek. 579 00:18:55,542 --> 00:18:57,132 How you feeling? 580 00:18:57,208 --> 00:18:59,498 I'm about to embark on a massive waste of time. 581 00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:01,423 So not great. 582 00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:02,960 - We see how it is. - Yeah? 583 00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:04,131 But leave early. 584 00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:08,038 I'm trying to sell these tickets out for the Greek show. 585 00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:10,705 So mingle with them and get friendly and-- 586 00:19:10,792 --> 00:19:11,962 You know what I think? 587 00:19:12,041 --> 00:19:13,631 You talk about immigration issues. 588 00:19:13,709 --> 00:19:15,709 Because there's all Sri Lankans, right? 589 00:19:15,792 --> 00:19:17,422 And then sell the tickets, mate. 590 00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:18,630 So you want me to just talk about immigration 591 00:19:18,709 --> 00:19:20,079 - and offer the ticket. - Yes. 592 00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:23,326 Maybe sponsor a kid or something. Who knows? 593 00:19:23,417 --> 00:19:25,707 A Sri Lankan kid to come over, you know, like, sign up for-- 594 00:19:25,792 --> 00:19:26,882 [Romesh] Come over where? 595 00:19:26,959 --> 00:19:27,539 To LA. 596 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,575 I'm not adopting a child. 597 00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,127 They gotta have a reason to like you. 598 00:19:31,208 --> 00:19:32,208 Yeah, but I'm not-- this is--I'm not-- 599 00:19:32,291 --> 00:19:33,501 Yes, but I'm not selling 600 00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:34,833 advice on how to get, 601 00:19:34,917 --> 00:19:36,037 like, a permanent work status. 602 00:19:36,125 --> 00:19:36,825 No, you're selling your tickets. 603 00:19:36,917 --> 00:19:39,077 - Yes. - Just psych yourself up. 604 00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:41,376 I will do anything for you guys. 605 00:19:41,458 --> 00:19:42,788 Blah, blah, blah. 606 00:19:42,875 --> 00:19:44,875 Just hammer it, mate. Sell the tickets. 607 00:19:44,959 --> 00:19:46,329 Get the fuck out of here. 608 00:19:46,417 --> 00:19:47,917 Yeah, I'm just not particularly sure 609 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,330 about how effective this is as a promotional tool. 610 00:19:50,417 --> 00:19:52,497 [Rags] What other ideas have you got, man? 611 00:19:52,583 --> 00:19:54,833 You got some other plans? 612 00:19:54,917 --> 00:19:57,167 Uh...no. 613 00:19:57,250 --> 00:19:59,210 [percussive music playing] 614 00:19:59,291 --> 00:20:04,961 ♪♪♪ 615 00:20:05,041 --> 00:20:06,501 [indistinct chatter] 616 00:20:06,583 --> 00:20:08,633 [vocalizes drum rhythm] 617 00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:10,579 [Shanthi] Lovely music, eh? 618 00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:11,707 'Ey! 619 00:20:11,792 --> 00:20:13,132 Hello, hello, how are you? 620 00:20:13,208 --> 00:20:13,668 I'm fine, thank you. 621 00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:14,710 Hello, how are you? 622 00:20:14,792 --> 00:20:17,172 - This is my son Romesh. - Nice to meet you. 623 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,500 There you go. 624 00:20:18,583 --> 00:20:19,793 [joyful shrieking] 625 00:20:19,875 --> 00:20:21,415 [Romesh] I went in, 626 00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:22,920 and I sort of wasn't expecting much. 627 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,250 Well, first of all, there are loads more people 628 00:20:25,333 --> 00:20:26,083 than I thought there were gonna be. 629 00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:28,996 So that was a pleasant surprise. 630 00:20:29,083 --> 00:20:33,003 Then what tends to happen at these things panned out. 631 00:20:33,083 --> 00:20:34,673 My mum starts dragging me around, 632 00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:36,710 telling people about me, which is fine. 633 00:20:36,792 --> 00:20:39,382 I'm trying to teach him all this culture, and, uh-- 634 00:20:39,458 --> 00:20:40,708 Ask him 635 00:20:40,792 --> 00:20:43,042 what are the Tamil words he know. 636 00:20:43,125 --> 00:20:44,375 Uh... 637 00:20:44,458 --> 00:20:46,498 But then she just sort of 638 00:20:46,583 --> 00:20:49,713 seemed to forget why we were there. 639 00:20:49,792 --> 00:20:52,332 You want to learn Tamil? 640 00:20:52,458 --> 00:20:53,788 [woman] I can teach you. 641 00:20:53,875 --> 00:20:55,285 "I love you, Mum." How... 642 00:20:55,375 --> 00:20:56,625 And you can te-- learn from him, in Tamil. 643 00:20:56,750 --> 00:20:58,920 I've got no idea how to say that. 644 00:20:58,959 --> 00:21:00,289 I don't know any, sorry. I'm very bad. 645 00:21:00,375 --> 00:21:02,625 He will teach you. 646 00:21:02,667 --> 00:21:03,287 [Romesh] She just started going, "Aw, 647 00:21:03,375 --> 00:21:05,415 I just want him to learn 648 00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:06,750 a bit more about culture. 649 00:21:06,792 --> 00:21:08,462 Can you speak in Tamil to him 650 00:21:08,542 --> 00:21:09,632 just so maybe he can learn it?" 651 00:21:09,709 --> 00:21:10,539 As if I can pick up the language 652 00:21:10,625 --> 00:21:12,955 during the course of the afternoon. 653 00:21:13,041 --> 00:21:15,001 Why are you trying to get me Tamil lessons? 654 00:21:15,083 --> 00:21:16,173 Are you joking? 655 00:21:16,250 --> 00:21:17,540 Why not? Why not? 656 00:21:17,625 --> 00:21:19,705 You have been in Sri Lanka for three months. 657 00:21:19,792 --> 00:21:20,712 [Ben] But you don't speak--you don't speak any Tamil, then? 658 00:21:20,792 --> 00:21:23,462 Well, the main word I know is pundai. 659 00:21:23,542 --> 00:21:24,962 [Ben] What's that mean? 660 00:21:25,041 --> 00:21:27,381 Who teaches you all this dance? 661 00:21:27,458 --> 00:21:28,578 Um... our dancing teacher. 662 00:21:28,667 --> 00:21:30,877 - Or you learn by yourself? - No. 663 00:21:30,959 --> 00:21:33,499 [Shanthi] Yeah, Romesh can--we-- I'll take your number, then. 664 00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:36,543 Then I will contact you, then we'll sort it out from there. 665 00:21:36,625 --> 00:21:37,995 Mum, can I just have a quick word out here? 666 00:21:38,083 --> 00:21:38,713 - [Shanthi] Over there? Okay. - Yeah. 667 00:21:38,792 --> 00:21:40,502 Lovely to meet you. Take care. 668 00:21:40,583 --> 00:21:42,133 Nice to meet you. 669 00:21:42,208 --> 00:21:44,038 [Romesh] Mum, you do realize that the Greek show, 670 00:21:44,125 --> 00:21:46,625 which is basically the most important show of my career, 671 00:21:46,709 --> 00:21:48,249 is less than a week away, right? 672 00:21:48,333 --> 00:21:49,003 Yeah. 673 00:21:49,083 --> 00:21:51,583 This is utterly pointless, Mum. 674 00:21:51,667 --> 00:21:53,247 You've gone out of control. 675 00:21:53,333 --> 00:21:55,543 Just, "Oh, darling, this, darling, this. 676 00:21:55,625 --> 00:21:56,995 Watch him speak Tamil. He can dance..." 677 00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:58,503 I said, "Say something in Tamil 678 00:21:58,583 --> 00:21:59,833 to the gentleman." 679 00:21:59,917 --> 00:22:01,287 You go, "Mm, I don't know anything." 680 00:22:01,375 --> 00:22:02,075 Because I only know rude words. 681 00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:02,826 What do you want me to say to him? 682 00:22:02,917 --> 00:22:04,877 Why did you learn rude words? 683 00:22:04,959 --> 00:22:06,499 Because that's the best words to learn. 684 00:22:06,583 --> 00:22:08,713 That's how you always start learning a language. 685 00:22:08,792 --> 00:22:09,882 Are you kidding? 686 00:22:09,959 --> 00:22:11,039 What do you want me to say to him? 687 00:22:11,125 --> 00:22:11,785 "Speak some Tamil." "Pundai." 688 00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:14,205 [stammers] Don't say that. 689 00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:15,831 I'm just saying, is that what you want me to say? 690 00:22:15,917 --> 00:22:16,537 - You know what does it mean? - What? 691 00:22:16,625 --> 00:22:20,245 The lady's thing that is. 692 00:22:20,333 --> 00:22:22,293 This is what you learn in Sri Lanka for three months? 693 00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:25,205 Well, I learned that early on, and then I just kept saying it. 694 00:22:25,291 --> 00:22:29,131 You-you--it's my fault that I didn't teach you the language. 695 00:22:29,208 --> 00:22:30,248 - Correct. - Yeah. 696 00:22:30,333 --> 00:22:31,713 I'm only doing my best, 697 00:22:31,792 --> 00:22:33,542 here and there, for you to learn 698 00:22:33,625 --> 00:22:35,325 the culture and the language. 699 00:22:35,417 --> 00:22:36,207 We're not promoting the Tamil. 700 00:22:36,333 --> 00:22:37,753 Have faith in this, Romesh, please. 701 00:22:37,834 --> 00:22:40,334 - Be grateful. - I'm grateful. 702 00:22:40,458 --> 00:22:42,708 But I'm just saying, 703 00:22:42,792 --> 00:22:44,752 this is not a good way to sell tickets. 704 00:22:44,834 --> 00:22:46,544 Come on, let's go. 705 00:22:46,625 --> 00:22:47,665 Time for your speech. Come on. 706 00:22:47,750 --> 00:22:49,210 What speech? 707 00:22:49,291 --> 00:22:50,211 You're going to give a speech, aren't you? 708 00:22:50,291 --> 00:22:53,001 I'm not doing a speech, pundai, okay? 709 00:22:53,083 --> 00:22:53,583 Oh, my God, Romesh. 710 00:22:53,667 --> 00:22:56,207 [indistinct chatter] 711 00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:57,581 [feedback whines] 712 00:22:57,667 --> 00:22:59,537 Hello, everybody. 713 00:22:59,625 --> 00:23:01,075 [applause] 714 00:23:01,166 --> 00:23:03,286 We wanna thank you all for coming. 715 00:23:03,375 --> 00:23:06,375 And we wanna give a very warm welcome 716 00:23:06,458 --> 00:23:10,538 to Shanthi, Romesh, and Rags to LA. 717 00:23:10,625 --> 00:23:12,915 This is our LA gang. Come on, everybody. 718 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,540 [cheers and applause] 719 00:23:15,625 --> 00:23:17,075 [Rags] Um... 720 00:23:17,166 --> 00:23:18,166 the reason we're here, actually, 721 00:23:18,250 --> 00:23:21,330 is just to--you know, there is always these 722 00:23:21,417 --> 00:23:22,577 immigration issues with migrants, right? 723 00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:25,287 Is that correct? 724 00:23:25,375 --> 00:23:27,575 You know, like, I mean, look at your president now. 725 00:23:27,667 --> 00:23:29,457 I mean, he want to shut everything down. 726 00:23:29,542 --> 00:23:30,502 You know what I mean? 727 00:23:30,583 --> 00:23:31,793 So... [laughs] 728 00:23:31,875 --> 00:23:33,455 So, guys, 729 00:23:33,542 --> 00:23:35,042 - we know all about... - What is he doing? 730 00:23:35,125 --> 00:23:36,825 ...how difficult it is for immigrants. 731 00:23:36,917 --> 00:23:38,747 And I actually had, you know, 732 00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:41,334 a bit of a chat with Rom, 733 00:23:41,417 --> 00:23:43,497 and he's also very passionate about this. 734 00:23:43,583 --> 00:23:45,003 Is that he comes in here 735 00:23:45,083 --> 00:23:47,003 like an ambassador for the immigrants. 736 00:23:47,083 --> 00:23:49,423 - How's that? - [cheers and applause] 737 00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:51,210 - You know what I mean? - Mum, Mum, Mum. 738 00:23:51,291 --> 00:23:53,671 Like, he's here, man, to support us and help us. 739 00:23:53,750 --> 00:23:55,460 And I'm gonna support this guy. 740 00:23:55,542 --> 00:23:58,082 And we're gonna make sure every immigrant who comes 741 00:23:58,166 --> 00:23:59,666 whether by boat or jumping over the wall 742 00:23:59,750 --> 00:24:01,790 or whatever they do, 743 00:24:01,875 --> 00:24:02,995 they are most welcome in LA. 744 00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:05,673 - [cheers and applause] - All right? 745 00:24:05,750 --> 00:24:07,710 [Ben] I mean, Rags was incredible, wasn't he? 746 00:24:07,792 --> 00:24:10,292 I-I very much enjoyed Rags' speech, 747 00:24:10,375 --> 00:24:11,245 for the first sort of tenth of it. 748 00:24:11,333 --> 00:24:14,463 This country is built by immigrants. 749 00:24:14,542 --> 00:24:16,382 It's not 750 00:24:16,458 --> 00:24:20,078 the Native Indians who run this country, man. 751 00:24:20,166 --> 00:24:21,496 And also is Trump. 752 00:24:21,583 --> 00:24:23,253 He comes from--where is it? 753 00:24:23,333 --> 00:24:25,423 Like, his background is from Germany or something. 754 00:24:25,500 --> 00:24:26,960 - [man] Boo! - You know what I mean? 755 00:24:27,041 --> 00:24:29,131 Boo, Nazi stuff. You know what I mean? 756 00:24:29,208 --> 00:24:30,878 - No, I don't mean that, guys. - Oh, my God. 757 00:24:30,959 --> 00:24:33,749 I mean, arguably he got slightly carried away. 758 00:24:33,834 --> 00:24:35,004 I tell you what. 759 00:24:35,083 --> 00:24:36,793 We are here to show it to him 760 00:24:36,875 --> 00:24:38,205 that immigrants are gonna stick together 761 00:24:38,291 --> 00:24:41,751 and we are gonna win this war, all right? 762 00:24:41,834 --> 00:24:44,884 And Rom is gonna take a big part in that, 763 00:24:44,959 --> 00:24:48,079 and he's gonna help all of you. 764 00:24:48,166 --> 00:24:50,036 Okay, guys? 765 00:24:50,125 --> 00:24:51,745 [Romesh] I'm watching that, 766 00:24:51,834 --> 00:24:52,674 and I think, "Holy shit, that's incredible." 767 00:24:52,750 --> 00:24:55,540 Then Mum steps up, 768 00:24:55,625 --> 00:24:57,575 and I think, "How's she gonna top this?" 769 00:24:57,667 --> 00:24:59,287 [Shanthi] Hi, everybody. 770 00:24:59,375 --> 00:25:00,035 I'm going to ask you, 771 00:25:00,125 --> 00:25:01,665 all of you, to do me a favor. 772 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:04,420 I'm begging you, actually. 773 00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:05,710 And please take up-- take your-- 774 00:25:05,792 --> 00:25:08,832 all your mobile phone out 775 00:25:08,917 --> 00:25:11,417 and, uh, buy a ticket. 776 00:25:11,500 --> 00:25:13,830 It's, uh--what's it, Romesh? That... 777 00:25:13,917 --> 00:25:15,167 Ticketmaster. 778 00:25:15,250 --> 00:25:18,170 Ticketmaster.com. 779 00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:19,880 [Rags] Come on, let's do it. 780 00:25:19,959 --> 00:25:21,709 Let's do it, come on, come on. Please. 781 00:25:21,792 --> 00:25:23,422 ♪ heroic music ♪ 782 00:25:23,500 --> 00:25:27,420 [Romesh] Mum basically stepped it up. 783 00:25:27,500 --> 00:25:29,420 And she did it in the only way she knows how, 784 00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:31,580 which was to force them to buy tickets immediately. 785 00:25:31,667 --> 00:25:34,417 ♪♪♪ 786 00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:36,080 I'm just thinking, "Holy shit, 787 00:25:36,166 --> 00:25:37,416 I've done all this radio stuff, 788 00:25:37,500 --> 00:25:38,380 I've done podcast stuff, 789 00:25:38,458 --> 00:25:40,248 done, like, printed it everywhere, 790 00:25:40,333 --> 00:25:42,883 and she smashes it out of the park 791 00:25:42,959 --> 00:25:45,749 by just forcing people to buy a ticket." 792 00:25:45,834 --> 00:25:47,254 She's like the Pied Piper of Sri Lankans. 793 00:25:47,333 --> 00:25:51,133 Lovely to meet you all. Thank you so much. 794 00:25:51,208 --> 00:25:54,458 [cheers and applause] 795 00:25:54,542 --> 00:25:56,042 Well, I've got-- I've gotta say... 796 00:25:56,125 --> 00:25:57,205 - Yeah? - ...I am actually 797 00:25:57,291 --> 00:25:58,331 quite impressed. 798 00:25:58,417 --> 00:26:00,127 - You are? - Yeah. 799 00:26:00,208 --> 00:26:01,328 I felt like the German people might have an issue 800 00:26:01,417 --> 00:26:04,667 with some of what you said, but apart from that, very good. 801 00:26:04,750 --> 00:26:05,580 Based on the fact that you pretty much forced people 802 00:26:05,667 --> 00:26:07,457 to buy tickets, 803 00:26:07,542 --> 00:26:10,172 I think it's probably our most successful sales day yet. 804 00:26:10,250 --> 00:26:10,790 Because we probably sold about 40 tickets 805 00:26:10,875 --> 00:26:11,955 just off the back of... 806 00:26:12,041 --> 00:26:14,131 - 40 or 50? - ...what you did, yeah. 807 00:26:14,208 --> 00:26:15,498 - So well done. - That's good. 808 00:26:15,583 --> 00:26:16,423 - Thanks. - [Shanthi] Thank you. 809 00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:18,920 - But you did make me think. - Yeah. 810 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,540 That whole sort of immigration angle, 811 00:26:21,625 --> 00:26:23,495 people did get passionate about it. 812 00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:24,423 [Romesh] As it turns out, 813 00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:27,330 being here has given me the big idea 814 00:26:27,417 --> 00:26:28,997 that I need. 815 00:26:29,083 --> 00:26:30,833 - [Ben] To promote the show? - Correct. 816 00:26:30,917 --> 00:26:32,077 It's almost like 817 00:26:32,166 --> 00:26:33,126 they're gonna come to the show 818 00:26:33,208 --> 00:26:35,578 because they feel like we're a cause. 819 00:26:35,667 --> 00:26:37,497 What if 820 00:26:37,583 --> 00:26:42,673 we made the promises of-of-of, like, getting a cause together 821 00:26:42,750 --> 00:26:45,920 but we actually delivered on those promises? 822 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,210 Basically, I'm thinking I need an idea 823 00:26:48,291 --> 00:26:50,461 that goes big, goes viral, 824 00:26:50,542 --> 00:26:53,672 gets me on the national TV, gets coverage from the press. 825 00:26:53,750 --> 00:26:55,080 And I'm thinking, "Well, what is 826 00:26:55,166 --> 00:26:56,456 the hottest kind of immigration-related topic 827 00:26:56,542 --> 00:26:58,752 today?" 828 00:26:58,834 --> 00:26:59,674 And that is the Mexican border wall. 829 00:26:59,750 --> 00:27:03,540 So my idea 830 00:27:03,625 --> 00:27:05,535 is, we go down to the border, 831 00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:06,995 we build the wall, 832 00:27:07,083 --> 00:27:09,043 and then we knock the prick down 833 00:27:09,125 --> 00:27:10,205 as a protest. 834 00:27:10,291 --> 00:27:11,631 [Ben] Hold on, are you saying 835 00:27:11,709 --> 00:27:13,169 you're putting the success of the Greek 836 00:27:13,250 --> 00:27:16,210 and your future career on building a wall? 837 00:27:16,291 --> 00:27:17,041 Yeah. 838 00:27:17,125 --> 00:27:19,785 I'm gonna build Trump's wall. 839 00:27:19,875 --> 00:27:21,245 - [Rags] Oh, my God. - [Shanthi] Oh! 840 00:27:21,333 --> 00:27:22,383 ♪ hip-hop music ♪ 841 00:27:22,458 --> 00:27:24,078 ♪ Life is full of setbacks and knock backs ♪ 842 00:27:24,166 --> 00:27:26,746 ♪ Snot rags and drop backs ♪ 843 00:27:26,834 --> 00:27:28,214 ♪ Dogs, rats, and bobcats ♪ 844 00:27:28,333 --> 00:27:29,083 ♪ And Grotbags in top hats ♪ 845 00:27:29,166 --> 00:27:31,376 ♪ Rock boats and stop tracks ♪ 846 00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:32,210 ♪ Shot wraps like hotcakes ♪ 847 00:27:32,333 --> 00:27:34,673 ♪ Hot stacks in a stock tape ♪ 848 00:27:34,750 --> 00:27:36,250 ♪ With a blocked nose and a hot plate ♪ 849 00:27:36,333 --> 00:27:38,083 ♪ Head spins from my whippings ♪ 850 00:27:38,166 --> 00:27:39,626 ♪ Dead things on my bedsprings ♪ 851 00:27:39,709 --> 00:27:40,709 ♪ Red rings round the good stuff ♪ 852 00:27:40,792 --> 00:27:43,042 ♪ And I puff piff till my breath stinks ♪ 853 00:27:43,125 --> 00:27:44,575 ♪ Put it big bold in the text print ♪ 854 00:27:44,667 --> 00:27:46,167 ♪ Let's drink to the next link ♪ 855 00:27:46,250 --> 00:27:48,170 ♪ We care not what the rest think ♪ 856 00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:49,670 ♪ And we kill shit till it's extinct ♪ 857 00:27:49,750 --> 00:27:54,330 ♪♪♪ 858 00:27:54,417 --> 00:27:57,327 [bright tone]