[bright tone]
[eagle calls]
♪ desolate Western music ♪
♪♪♪
♪ rapid metronomic rap music ♪
♪♪♪
[Romesh] I want us to kind of go to the border...
[Shanthi] Mm-hm.
We put up a wall
to knock it down.
- Knock it down? - So we put it up...
- Uh-huh. - ...contact news agencies,
they come down,
and they see
that we are knocking down Trump's wall.
What I'm worried about-- it's like
I'm going to have to teach the two of you
to bloody put bricks together.
That's my worry.
Well, how do you know?
I used to have a builder's license,
I told you, in Australia.
I built fucking high-rises, mate.
This is nothing.
- I'll be honest with you. - [Rags] Yeah.
Sometimes I-I--
I assume that you're making stuff up.
I got a gun license too.
Security.
♪ piano arpeggios ♪
♪♪♪
[Romesh] Okay. This is us.
[Rags] So this where we gonna start building?
♪♪♪
Okay, so I think
we start
from where this finishes
so it sort of looks like we're joining.
[Rags] You want it that high?
[Romesh] Well, I think we'll just get it
as good as we can.
[Ben] So what were your impressions
when you got to the border?
[Romesh] Uh, I mean, this section
I'm sitting at here...
To be honest, it looks like it needs a wall.
I mean,
you could hop across this, couldn't you?
Okay, so what I think we should do
is unload this and just figure out
how we're gonna start.
So we're unloading the van,
and what becomes clear
is that my mum's not really gonna be contributing.
[Shanthi] Is it heavy?
[Rags] It is heavy.
Rags...
What's in this?
[Romesh] Just every single item
that I unveiled,
he complained about.
You're ready for a cup of tea?
No, this is not-- I'm not making--
Are you having a fucking picnic?
[Rags] Rom, when you packed these--
first of all--
like, look at it.
It's all in the bloody truck.
I know, I know, I know.
[Romesh] I tried to drive slowly.
Be careful with that. I haven't got--
Broken the cement bag. Look.
- Oh, fucking hell. - [Shanthi laughs]
[Rags] Honestly, man, you're useless.
Rom, turn it around, man!
- It's-- - [Shanthi laughs]
How you gonna build a wall
in the fucking van?
[Ben] In some ways, do you think maybe
taking two of your relatives
in their 60s down to the Mexican border
to build a wall was a bad move?
Oh, my God.
Uh...
Just... [grunts]
No, no, no, no, no.
[Shanthi laughs]
Are you fucking shitting me
right now with this?
I asked you how many KGs.
I think it's, like, 100.
You've got a building license, have you?
- [Shanthi] Yeah. - [Rags] Yeah, not
cement-carrying license, no.
[Ben] You should've brought Jose, shouldn't you?
That would've been more useful.
Uh, bringing Jose
would feel super racist.
[Romesh] How do we start? Let's just start.
[Rags] All right, we got to get a foundation;
otherwise, the wall will fall down.
So we'll just dig, like, a drench, that wide.
Okay, do you want to start doing that, then?
No, no, no. Look.
Slight back problem, bro.
[Romesh] Rags had told me that he'd got
a building license.
Um, he wanted to be the foreman of the project,
who I anticipated being
sort of kind of useless.
[Rags] Rom, is it straight?
Here, give me.
[Romesh] What's your problem?
♪ pizzicato music ♪
What are you doing that's different
from what I'm doing?
You know, a straight drench.
Please, Rom.
What is a drench?
- What is a drench? - Like a--
where the soldiers used to sit beyond
and shoot at--
Yeah, what is that called?
Drench, I would've thought.
- A drench? - Drench.
- What's it called? - How do you spell that?
D-R-E-N-C-H.
I think what you're talking about, right...
- Yeah. - ...is a trench.
[Rags] Hey, you've gone sideways again.
Stick to that line.
I'm sticking to the line, Rags.
♪ orchestral waltz ♪
♪♪♪
There you go. Begins.
I don't see that we're doing it properly, mate.
Look, it's got to be level.
[Romesh] Oh, fuck's sake.
What the fuck?
[Rags] Do you know what it looks like?
Somebody come and shat on it.
That's what it looks like.
[Romesh] What became clear was that it was
more difficult to create a spectacle
than I had anticipated.
♪♪♪
So all this time, you put four bricks, is it?
- [sighs] - [Romesh] What have you done?
I have done as much as I can.
Which is what? Fuck all.
What do you mean, fuck all?
[Romesh] By the end of it, we're just
at each other's throats, just three people
at the border just screaming at each other.
This is bullshit.
[Romesh] Why don't you just accept
you fucked up?
- [sighs] - Look at this.
This is even not straight, da.
Rom, you fucked the whole thing up, right,
because you haven't got the right tools, mate.
[Romesh] Why are you being, like, such an--
No, I'm just serious, but I've had enough
of this fucking thing, you know that?
[Romesh] Had enough? You've done fuck all.
Stop the fucking construction. Do something constructive, man.
There is no construction.
I don't think you're going
to build a wall like this,
arguing, both of you.
[Romesh] I dug all this.
♪♪♪
[Rags sighs]
Uh, it wasn't the best.
What is your problem, Rags?
[Rags] Problem is you.
Where are you going?
[engine turns over]
[Shanthi] Has he gone mad?
He's--honest to God, da.
He losing his temper,
maybe because of the heat.
[Romesh] Can you do me a favor? Give me an update
on what you've been up to.
[Ben] Uh, Rom,
just--just so you know, they're--
they're the wrong way round.
- [Shanthi] Yeah. - [Ben] You're not meant
to build them with the holes on the side.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
This is bullshit.
[Romesh] I've got to be honest, at that point...
things felt pretty bleak.
[Shanthi] So what are you going to do now?
I don't know, Mum.
You wasted all your time
we could have been in LA,
promoting the show.
Yes, I know that, Mum.
Can we get help to build this wall?
I mean, I know this sounds mental, but
I'm gonna see if we can get an Uber.
♪ hip-hop music ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ On this rocky road ♪
[indistinct rapping]
♪♪♪
[Romesh] We've come to Home Depot,
both to get supplies
and to get workers.
[Ben] And where's Rags gone?
I've got no idea. I've tried to call him.
I just...
I don't know what he's doing.
♪ This mad time to put it down ♪
♪ Build the foundation from the underground ♪
[Romesh] What I'm hoping is that--
that some immigrant workers
will find the solution
to me building a wall
that symbolizes keeping immigrants
out of America. There is a...
...certain irony in that,
but at this point, I couldn't give a shit.
I just need to get this fucking wall done.
So basically,
we're just trying to build a wall here, guys.
- To build a wall. - Yeah.
♪ upbeat blues music ♪
♪♪♪
[Ben] It's exciting, mate. It's happening.
It feels like we're making some progress.
♪♪♪
[laughter]
[Ben] Actually, if Jose had been here,
he could've helped you with the language barrier.
[Romesh] Hello, that CNN?
Yeah, hi, my name's Romesh Ranganathan.
I was wondering if I could speak to Emily
from your Current Affairs department.
Could I speak to Sarah Shepherd, please?
Yeah, I was asked to speak to a John Carter.
Hi there, I am sort of building a wall
in protest of Donald Trump's immigration policy,
and I was wondering if you could tell me
who I could speak to about getting someone to cover it.
We're putting it up today, knocking it down tomorrow,
but the knocking down is the important bit.
I mean, if you capture us building it,
it's sort of the opposite, isn't it?
Looks like we're supporting Trump.
[laughs]
We're putting together a big, big wall.
It's very big. I don't know
the exact dimensions,
but it's certainly big enough
for it to be a spectacle.
[laughs]
Um...
10 to 15 feet tall?
[worker] Sir, we're, uh, finished.
We need more water.
We need a little bit more blocks,
and actually some help
to make it taller and stronger.
There is a place to buy more bricks
like, uh, one hour and a half.
It's an hour and a half away to get more bricks?
Yeah. And more stuff to---
- to make it higher. - To build it higher.
Three hours, one hour and a half.
And then-- but it'll be dark then, right?
- [Shanthi] Yeah. - [worker] Yeah.
And then how do
you guys work in the dark?
Uh...
We don't know.
Uh, I don't know what to-- I think you guys can just...
I guess you guys can just g--
if you've got no materials, then this is--
you've done what you can with the materials, I guess--
Yeah, we don't have more bricks.
I'll just pay you and you can go, I guess.
[Romesh] Thank you very much. I'll see what I can do with it,
- but yeah. - Yeah, thank you so much.
[worker] Thank you very much.
- Thanks very much, man. - Thank you.
I really appreciate it. Thanks. Take care.
What a waste of fucking time.
[Shanthi] Done a great job,
but it would have been nicer
if they put this up
slightly higher than this.
[Romesh] What the fuck am I gonna do?
I've got loads of people coming down,
I've contacted
shit-tons of people,
and loads of people have said "yes."
The publicist has contacted people.
- Yeah. - And they're gonna
come tomorrow and see that.
[Romesh] What am I gonna do?
[distant horn]
What was that?
[distant horn honking]
Did you hear that?
[low vacuous noise]
[distant horn honking]
Oh, what...
[distant horn honking]
...the hell is it?
[Shanthi] What's that?
♪ bold music ♪
♪♪♪
That's Rags, Mum.
[horn honking]
♪♪♪
Why are they moving slowly?
[horn honking]
♪♪♪
Hi, Rom. How you doing, man?
- What have you done? - What the hell's going on?
[Rags] Did you think I'd abandoned you?
Yes.
I would never do that to you, man.
You know I love you.
Do you want to build a wall or what?
♪ Lovely and tidy had too much fun in the '90s ♪
♪ All jungle and grimy in the park sipping 20/20 ♪
♪ Getting shit-faced and pulling them whiteys, like ♪
♪ Rags ♪
[Romesh] Look, I've got to be honest with you.
I am genuinely impressed with what you've done here.
[Rags] I appreciate it, man.
How did you actually sort it out?
Uh, so what I did--
I just drove around
to all the big building places,
I said to them,
"Look, doing this job for us--
" lot of press coverage. There's gonna be cameras
and all that tomorrow."
I'm genuinely, like,
impressed with your savvy.
Thank you, thank you.
[Romesh] So are they working all the way through the night?
[Rags] They are working all the way through the night.
Listen, hol--
this is me holding my hands up.
- Yeah. - You smashed it today.
I think we should just, uh,
go, right? I mean--
[Rags] I think it's a bit cold, yeah.
I think we should do that.
- All right, come on. - [Shanthi shudders]
- Pardon? - [Ben] You guys going?
Uh, yeah.
[Ben] What, you're gonna leave the wall that you're building?
We're not building the wall, mate.
We're sitting here while other people build a wall,
so I think we can go.
♪ jazz music ♪
We're gonna head off.
- Okay. - See you in the morning.
- Thank you so much. - Thank you so much.
- Take care. - Thank you, Joe.
♪♪♪
[Romesh] Rags, do you really, honestly
have a building license?
[Rags] Uh... well,
I mean, no.
♪ militaristic music ♪
[Ben] How you feeling today?
[Romesh] I feel good.
I'm pretty excited.
Got press coming down,
got a wall better
than we could have anticipated.
[Ben] But you don't know that, do you?
Well, I do know that it'll be better than four bricks
scattered on the ground, yes.
[Ben] Do you know what the wall's gonna be like?
[Romesh] Well, I don't think it'll have a Jacuzzi.
I think it'll be a wall.
That's my suspicion.
[Ben] How tall will it be?
Very?
[Ben] How wide will it be?
Quite.
[Ben] What color will it be?
Wall.
♪ bold music ♪
♪♪♪
[Romesh] This is insane, man.
Just can't believe it.
- It's really great. - It's like--
Are you happy? This is the way you want it?
It's much better than I even thought
- it was gonna be. - Magic.
Thing is, like,
do you really want to knock it down?
Yes, Rags.
All that work, man. You know, like,
- how much is done-- - Rags, we're not leaving
the wall there.
Okay? So that--let's just
end that. We're knocking it down.
♪ pizzicato music ♪
♪♪♪
[Romesh] Okay, guys, can I have your attention, please?
My name is Romesh Ranganathan. I'm an immigrant from the UK.
My mother is an immigrant to the UK.
My uncle is an immigrant to Australia.
[Romesh] We believe
that immigration makes countries stronger,
and what this wall symbolizes is division.
This symbolic wall coming down
as a strong message to the world that we believe
that the wall should not exist, it should not be put up.
I'm begging you to share this worldwide
and show that walls are not what will make America great.
Are you with me, guys?
[cheering]
[chanting] Bring down the wall!
[all chanting] Bring down the wall!
Uh...
On December the 21st,
I'm playing at the Greek Theatre,
uh, but that's irrelevant at the moment,
but I am doing a stand-up comedy show
at the Greek Theatre on the 21st of December.
- [Rags] Hey, hey. - [Romesh] Bring down the wall!
This is a publicity stunt, but a publicity stunt
of the best nature, to change the world!
[cheering]
Ladies and gentlemen, one, two, three with me,
bring down the wall!
[all chanting] Bring down the wall!
Bring down the wall!
- [Romesh] Louder! - [all] Bring down the wall!
- [Romesh] What'd you say? - [all] Bring down the wall!
- [Romesh] Didn't hear that. - [all] Bring down the wall!
- [Romesh] Louder! - [all] Bring down the wall!
[cheering]
[Rags] Hit it!
[sparse clapping]
What's going on?
- [Rags] It's coming down. - [Romesh] Yeah, but...
Bit by bit.
Okay, it's gonna-- it's coming down, guys.
- Yeah! - [scattered clapping]
- [Rags] Yeah. - [Romesh] Bring down the wall!
[all] Bring down the wall!
- [Romesh] Louder! - [all] Bring down the wall.
- [Romesh] Louder! - [all] Yay!
Yeah!
Whoo-hoo!
[cheering]
Well, it is taking a long time, isn't it?
[Romesh] Can you find out what's going on?
I mean, it's a wrecking ball.
Uh, okay, uh--hang on, just let me check it out.
[Romesh] Obviously, this takes a little bit of time, guys.
Okay, guys, uh, can we do the next panel, please?
Can we get on with the next panel?
Thank you. Please do continue rolling.
[Romesh] Thank you.
♪ orchestral waltz ♪
♪♪♪
Uh... no.
- [Rags] Rom? - [Romesh] Yeah.
Yeah, the girders cross as well,
you know, not only just side,
but, you know, they did a proper job, like, that's--
Should have told them to just do a light job,
like, without any of that.
Just look like a wall to break.
Well, it's too late, man.
So it's gonna be, like, fucking half a day here.
Uh, hi, guys.
Can I have your attention, please?
Um, just--
Uh, "I don't know" is ho-- the honest answer,
but I'm sure you'll agree with me
that it is worth it.
♪ upbeat Latin music ♪
[Romesh] In an ideal world,
the total demolition of the wall
wouldn't have taken
three to four weeks to happen.
♪♪♪
Seems like this wall is actually
- pretty effective, doesn't it? - [Shanthi] Yeah.
[Romesh] It feels like we've done
as much as we could've done,
but it's very difficult to know what impact
that has had.
I think sort of next steps are
to see how much of a success this has been.
[Ben] Are you confident?
Not massively, no.
Which way is LA?
[Ben] Ah, it's--that way.
[Romesh] [muttering] Absolute waste
of my fucking time.
Welcome back to TMZ Live.
Uh, President Trump's long-promised wall
along the border between the US and Mexico
already went up.
[Ben] How was the final push?
I mean, the final push was as good
as we could've hoped. You know.
I ended up getting on The Late Late Show.
Romesh Ranganathan!
I've been doing radio spots,
I've been doing podcast,
TV appearances...
Romesh Ray-- Ranganathan!
Romesh...
Ranganathan. Is that right?
[Romesh] We got some news interest
off the back of the wall.
This comedian's career
is getting quite a kick-off
here in America.
We actually created an incident,
unfortunately, because people
saw it
and started posting online
that Trump had started the wall.
So, unbelievably, the wall
turned out to be a huge success,
and I actually feel pretty positive
about how it's all gone.
♪ oompah music ♪
♪♪♪
I want to thank you guys for what you've done.
Whatever happens tonight, we've done a gr--
you've done a great job, we've done a great job.
- I'm doing it for you, my son. - [Romesh] Yes.
- ...so you don't have to thank me.
Well, I--yeah.
I'm thanking you, so thank you.
No one could have done better than us.
So...
Theatre's gonna be full.
Even if it doesn't sell out tonight,
it's not a failure. It's been...
What we've done has been great, so thank you.
And Rags, as a thank-you to you...
- [Rags] Yeah. - ...tonight
I would be honored
if you would do
my opening announcement and bring me onto stage.
- Are you fucking joking me? - No.
You want me to do some jokes as well?
No, no, no, no. You sort of
overstated it a little bit.
Could be a bit of
an opportunity for me to sort of...
It could be. Um...
But no.
[Shanthi] I have
one last surprise for you.
♪ orchestral string music ♪
What is it?
Let--wait and find out.
♪♪♪
W-when is it happening?
Uh...
I don't know. Let's see.
This is a biggest surprise for you, Romesh.
Wait and see, okay?
[Rags] Really? That's what--
[Romesh] You just keep repeating yourself.
- Yeah! - [Rags] Wow.
Let's see. Let's see.
This must be big.
What is going on?
One last surprise.
- [Rags] I have no idea. - Come on.
Come on.
I have a surprise for you, Romesh.
♪♪♪
[accented] "I've got a surprise for you!"
[Shanthi] Oh, shut up, Romesh.
[accented] "I've got a surprise for you!"
Don't behave like a dickhead. Leesa!
- [Romesh] Oh, my God! - Hello.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
- Oh. - [Shanthi] Oh, my God.
Oh. Hi, darling!
[falsetto] Have you come to see me?
- Hi! - Hi!
[Shanthi] Hi!
How you going, man?
- So good to see you, Theo. - [Shanthi] Hi, Theo.
- Hey. - Lovely to see you.
My god.
- Darling! Hi, Leesa. - Shizzle!
Hello!
Did you all just arrive?
Yeah. We-we just knew we couldn't
let this moment pass, and we had to come
and surprise you and support you.
Leesa, this man needs your support.
[Rags] No one better than you to be around with him.
- Aww. - I can't fill your shoes.
- No. - [Rags] No, I didn't mean--
about anything like that. You know what I mean.
But I don't think that's a surprise to anybody.
[laughter]
[Ben] You had quite a long way to go
in terms of ticket sales.
[Romesh] Yeah, I don't know what
the final ticket sales were,
but the wall actually worked
and generated loads of publicity.
Whatever happens now,
I am proud of the last tilt
that we made at this.
♪ If you can make it out here, you'll make it anywhere ♪
♪ But all I see is people trying to make it everywhere ♪
♪ Dressed like a tramp when I show up to the premiere ♪
♪ Might not know my name but you should be well aware ♪
[Romesh] I mean, I've promoted this harder
than I've promoted anything I've ever done.
Any tour show, any gig,
and that is always gonna make you feel like
you've got a shot.
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the Greek Theatre.
[cheering]
Your star for the night tonight
is Romesh Ranganathan,
who is the best comedian out of the UK
to ever visit LA at the Greek Theatre,
and, uh, without any ado,
let's welcome Romesh Ranganathan,
the star of the show, onto the podium!
- Give him a... - [cheers and applause]
...big welcome.
Give it up, all.
Please, thank you.
[cheers and applause]
♪ orchestral waltz ♪
When the curtains opened and I saw
that we were like, at what, 300-and-something?
[Ben] 297.
Okay, I mean, that is, uh--
that's even less than I thought.
Hello, Greek Theatre!
Whoo!
Uh, I mean, what has become obvious
is this is a massive fucking mistake.
[laughter]
What a fucking nightmare this is.
♪♪♪
I cannot tell you-- I mean, listen,
no disrespect to you, but how disappointing
to have the curtains open and see you pricks.
[laughter]
I mean, just...
Holy shit, man.
Let me tell you this, and I mean this
from the bottom of my heart:
I'm never coming back.
All right? I mean, seriously.
Listen, I don't think, uh,
I can do this.
I'm gonna do something... radical.
I actually genuinely think
we could probably get you all up on stage, so--
[cheers and applause]
'Cause if you come up on stage,
that's a sellout. That is a sellout.
You up for it?
[all] Yeah!
I mean, if you're not, fuck you.
You guys, if you make your way up the stairs here,
let's just sort this out.
[Romesh] In terms of my target
of selling out the Greek,
yes, I have failed in that.
Guys in the back, do you want to make your way down?
We're all coming on stage, okay?
But I just thought it can't--
like, it can't go like this,
so... it just made sense
to try and turn that into a gig,
and the way of doing that was just to get
everyone up on stage.
Come on up, come on up.
[Ben] So, has coming to America
been a total waste of time?
[Romesh] No. I think that
my profile has increased over here,
and I think I've gone some way
to making a life for myself over here,
but weirdly, I think it's actually had
the biggest impact on my--
on my family life.
This is my wife and my mother,
who've come here to see me fail.
I have spent more time with Leesa and the kids
than I have done in a long time.
I've spent more time with my mum
and my uncle,
and it has really brought us
closer together.
[Romesh] Bring your blankets. It's gonna be amazing,
and by "amazing," I mean "dog shit."
[laughter]
So, in that way,
you'd have to consider it a success.
Ladies and gentlemen, please, can you welcome to the stage
me, Romesh Ranganathan?
[cheers and applause]
[Romesh] Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you so-- okay, okay.
Enough, enough.
You pricks in America
do that shit way too much,
you know?
♪ It's a lovely day today ♪
You think you can fill this up?
[accented] I own a 7-11.
[laughter]
[man] You're completely insane
to be doing the Greek Theatre
in December.
I was so proud of you.
Kiss it.
♪ It's a lovely day ♪
- Hi, man. - Good to see you, brother.
Romesh, uh--oh, I had it.
Remember Jose?
- Jim! - Jim!
R-A...
- N. - N-G-A-N...
Mm.
This is one of the worst fucking things I've ever seen.
[laughter]
Whoa, even the tongue's--
Ow!
♪ But if you've got something that must be done ♪
♪ And it can only be done by one ♪
[laughter]
- Go, go, go, go, go. - Run, run.
♪ There is nothing more to say ♪
[all] ♪ Ranganathan day of fun ♪
[all] Bring down the wall!
[all] Puto!
How's that?
[laughs]
[cheering]
[snarling]
[crying]
♪ What a day ♪
This is good.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you very much.
♪ "It's A Lovely Day Today" playing ♪
♪♪♪
[Romesh] That was all right, wasn't it?
- [Leesa] Oh, it was brilliant!
- [Shanthi] It was--yeah, lovely.
[Rags] Well, you at least cracked it.
[Romesh] Well, I wouldn't say I've cracked it.
[Rags] You cracked it. The--the stage was full.
[Leesa] You set out to play the Greek,
- and you played the Greek. - [Shanthi] Played the Greek.
- That's the main thing, yeah. - [Romesh] Okay, fine.
I mean, that's not-- that wasn't the target.
[Leesa] Well, what--what was the target, then?
[Romesh] The target was to sell
the prick out, wasn't it?
♪ Yo, can't stop me ♪
♪ Runaway train handle this properly ♪
♪ Disappear, reappear when they thinking they got me ♪
♪ Coming for my head but can't top me ♪
♪ Nowadays, competition coming out ♪
♪ Looking like Freddie Mercury ♪
♪ Dream of hurting me but can't vote for me ♪
♪ Throwing in the towel around ♪
♪ The same time they heard of me ♪
♪ Name your top ten I'll take them back to nursery ♪
♪ For free--blood sport, so I love it ♪
♪ When they curse at me ♪
♪ Look what you made me do say sorry ♪
♪ About to meet the British hard rock ♪
♪ No quarry ♪
♪ So look what you've gone and done--say nada ♪
♪ I'll put them back in nappies ♪
♪ You can call me papa ♪
[bright tone]