KOURTNEY: Previously on High School Musical: The Musical: The Series...
When Corbin Bleu returns for your first table read, you must de-stress.
Yeah, baby. Let's hug it out. Bring it in. Come on.
Dress to impress.
-Dope outfit. -Kourtney.
And try to hide the mess.
Wait. Jet's not here.
What's with Jet? Is he troubled?
They think we have no drama?
-My mom is moving back. -What?
Hey, Val, did you know about this letter?
I'm so glad we fooled them.
I can get you drama.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Morning, guys. Come on in. We don't have much time.
-Take a seat. -Did EJ tell you what this was about?
Nope. But you should ask Val. (CHUCKLES)
I'm kidding. Don't ask Val.
Yeah. Funny story from last night.
It looks like EJ is apparently moving to St. Louis for his gap year.
I'm going to talk to him about it after rehearsal.
But today, I am here to play Anna.
I'm just gonna stick to the script. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Can we have everyone's attention please?
Thanks for coming in early, guys. We've been up all night.
Look, this better be good, because in here, it's still last night.
We've been working on a plan to save the show
and give Corbin and that Channing guy
the reality show style juice that they really want.
Sorry. Save the show?
He just wants a little more excitement from us. A little more...
-He thinks we're boring. -(ALL GASP)
He's missing our rehearsal today
to scout out the kids at Deep Lake Camp in Temecula.
-That can't be a real place. -But not to worry, because we have a plan.
And it starts with five little letters.
Allow me.
Watch what happens, fam.
"Ri-cos-il"?
No. It's The Real Campers of Shallow Lake.
The franchise I was always destined to join. I mean, you were.
EJ: Look, it's easy.
You know how normally we act like regular people,
pick up on social cues, care about our feelings?
(LAUGHS) Do we?
Yes, we do. But now that's over.
Because the key to any great reality show is the three Bs.
Bombshells, betrayals and (BLEEP) slaps.
(ALL GASP)
Can he say that?
Look, I love the housewives as much as anyone,
but how are we gonna pull this off
when we're real students who don't have millions to burn and kids to blame?
-Can I be Team Kourtney on this? -No. Here's what we're doing.
There's the judgy one, the jilted ex,
the one with the dark past, the crier,
the one with the catchphrase, the one who's here for the wrong reasons,
the shrink, the bad boy and the instigator.
Mmm-hmm. It's a formula, and the formula works.
Each of you has a role to play today.
-I'm sorry. Carlos, did you cast this? -(CHUCKLES) I'm back, baby.
Isn't this a little tawdry?
Was gonna say the same thing.
(CHUCKLES) And that's why you, Kourt, get to be the judgy one.
(ALL CLAPPING SOFTLY)
But do we want to look like villains on TV?
I thought you'd want to go sympathetic, which is why you get to be the jilted ex.
(ALL GASP)
Oh, good.
-Ashlyn, you've got a dark past. -I'm dying. Yes.
Guys, this is gonna be fun.
Gadget, you're the crier.
And, Gina...
Ooh, I think we've already established that I can't improvise.
She's awful.
I don't even have a comeback for that because I can't improvise.
I got you, boo. You're the one with the catchphrase.
Just say the same thing all the time in different ways.
Okay. What's my phrase?
-"Don't get me started." -And you shouldn't.
EJ's here for the wrong reasons. Val's the shrink,
Jet's the bad boy,
and I will be the instigator.
(SCOFFS) I thought we were stretching for these parts.
Good. I want a lot of that today.
I know that was a lot, but has everyone got all that?
-Good. 'Cause there's more. -(ALL MURMURING SOFTLY)
We have four goals for the day.
Someone needs to run out of here crying, someone needs to get slapped,
someone needs to throw a drink at someone,
and someone needs to get caught on a hot mic saying something scandalous.
-Any questions? -Many questions.
This is gonna put our documentary on the map. Get into it, guys.
Um, Channing's coming in 15.
Thanks, Val. Always helpful to get your behind-the-scenes take.
Start getting into character.
There's no time to lose, and many, many People's Choice Awards to gain. Come on.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
Five, six, seven, eight. One and two and three and...
Crash? See. It's just a slap, dear.
-Wrong way. -Uh, sorry. Yeah.
-You have to, like, clap. -Okay. Yeah.
-Oh. -Oh! You tell me... Just...
(CLAPS)
-Nah. -Well, this looks super fake.
-I'm open to notes. -Same.
-I can hit him for real. -CARLOS: Thank you. No. Safety first.
Think of it as actors. Try this.
EJ, you've stolen the woman Ricky loves.
Do you mean Gina? Because she's EJ's girlfriend, so he stole her.
Would've stolen her. In a fake scenario.
Yeah, I like it.
You've held a torch for her for years and sometimes in this fake scenario,
you pretend to get lost with her in the woods,
and then now it's weird because she's in love with me here at camp.
-Mmm-hmm. -Did I do it right?
It's pretty convincing. Yeah?
Found my motivation.
Again?
Okay. Is it just me or should Carlos have given "fake crying" to an actor?
Oh, it's way easier than you think. Do you have a pet who died?
Just my dog Joe-Jack, but he's still alive.
Oh, you didn't hear?
Um, we got a call in the office. There's been a terrible accident.
-Okay, can I be the slapper? -We're working out the kinks.
There's no time. Just work on your backstories.
Try this. The two of you are in love with the same boy.
-Oh, Jet. We'll make it Jet. -Oh, God, no.
Oh, gosh, yes.
It totally makes sense that I, the girl with the dark past,
would be in love with the bad boy.
(CHUCKLES) Jet, come here.
Do you know Maddox? She's hot for you.
(LAUGHS) Okay.
But you, Jet, you have the hots for Kourtney.
Um...
Hey, Channing's here.
(CARLOS SIGHS WEARILY)
(EXHALES)
Okay.
Let's you and the rest of the Care Bears get this lovefest over with, huh?
I think you're gonna be pleasantly surprised today.
I haven't been pleasantly surprised since Survivor: Nicaragua.
Everyone give a warm welcome for Channing.
-Pretend I'm not here. -No welcome for Channing.
Hey, everything good with you and the director?
-Don't get me started. -(BOTH CHUCKLE)
I think he's confiding in Val about stuff. I don't know how much stuff, but stuff.
And I guess I'm just really self-conscious about it.
Whoops. I got started.
Alex, Emmy, Carlos, places for A Little Bit of You, please.
Kill the lights, please.
You know, there's a recipe to making a proper snowman.
-Really? -Uh-huh.
(SINGING) A little bit of you A little bit of me
-A part that loves to dream -A part that swings from a tree
A little like me A little like you
-A part that's nice -A part that's naughty, too
A loyal friend who is there no matter what
-A big round belly -And a big, bouncy butt
He'll love warm hugs and the bright sunlight
And he'll really love the summer
-But he'll melt. -Yeah, you're right.
Oh! So we'll build him back together
Yes, together, that's the key
-(BOTH LAUGHING) -'Cause he's a little bit of you and me
Mmm-mmm. Okay. Stop, stop. Turn on the lights.
(LAUGHING)
(CARLOS SIGHS)
Um, I'm sorry, but is this supposed to be fake snow?
Uh, Olaf? You can speak.
Not to instigate anything here, but this looks like sea salt.
Did I take the wrong prop?
(FAKE CRIES) I tried my best, okay?
(BOTH MOUTHING INDISTINCTLY)
You guys, my head isn't a funnel. Can we try for my feet next time?
-Are we being punked? -At this point, I'm legally a margarita.
And I'm realizing now I forgot to invite the girls to the pre-rehearsal meeting.
They have no idea what's going on.
(SIGHS)
I think I broke the children.
(SIGHS) This is nice, Elsa. Us talking.
-Yeah, it is. -Maybe we could do it more often?
(SIGHS) Oh, my gosh.
Um...
I'm so sorry. Can we cut? Are you really gonna deliver your line like that?
If you wanna talk line readings, don't get me started.
(LAUGHS)
Or what? Water.
(SCOFFS) Come on. Let's get...
(GASPS)
-No, you did not. -Shouldn't have gotten me started. Oops.
(GASPS)
Oh!
-Now, you hold on one second. -CARLOS: This is the best day of my life.
So I'll be playing Sven, the reindeer in this scene,
and as an actor/director, I'm just proud to be flexing all my muscles this summer.
Of course he's confident. A cis straight dude with a paper-thin résumé?
You're right. Everyone loves confidence.
You missed almost all the words I said, huh?
All right. Let's do the Anna- Kristoff-Hans scene. Page 24.
Keep your camera on him. He's the bad boy.
(CHANNING GASPS)
And action.
-(LAUGHS) I'm sorry. So sorry. -Oh, no. Are you okay?
I'm fine. How embarrassing. I...
Director, I don't get Hans. He's kinda lame.
Can we get him to be rougher or something?
Are you questioning me as a director/actor?
I think maybe that's something I would do.
Let's keep going.
-Hi. Can I ask you lovebirds something? -(LAUGHS) Lovebirds?
-No. We've actually never met. -(LOW VOICE) But we're meeting now.
(CLICKS TONGUE) Yeah, we are.
-Great. Do you like cold drinks? -Very much.
-What are you doing with your voice, dude? -(NORMAL) I don't know, but it hurts.
Okay, you need to start crying. And you need to be judgier.
I don't know what to think about.
Jet is about to profess his love to another girl.
You should be hysterical right now.
(SQUEALS) It's just...
It is so hard to see my man with another lady.
(SQUEALS)
Ugh, what a baby.
Well, that's a little judgy.
Well, you're a little loud and excitable man.
What are you gonna do about it?
-(GRUNTS) -Ow!
My face. I've been slapped.
It's hard. Trying to get in character, and how am I supposed to just...
Okay. Channing's on a ten-one.
That means peeing in Hollywood. How are we both doing?
-Hmm. Don't get me started. -Jilted.
CARLOS: Excellent.
This is the last song of the day, so let's go out and really sell it. Capisce?
Remember, Ricky, you've got unresolved feelings for Gina.
Gina, you only know four words. It writes itself.
Does it?
Gina, what's your motivation?
Oh! I don't wanna get started.
Yes, and you're angry at your boyfriend
and using your ex-boyfriend to get under his skin.
Basically, have fun torturing EJ.
-I can do that. -Speaking of which, where is EJ?
(DOOR RUSTLING)
-Hi. -Hey, buddy.
Gina.
I am lucky.
Let's do this.
(TOILET FLUSHING)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
Hey, guys, I know we've barely run this song, so just mark it.
Use the space but be safe. Half-energy.
Gotta agree. No reason to go crazy, you guys.
GINA: (AS ANNA) But Hans is not a stranger.
RICKY: (AS KRISTOFF) Okay. So, what's his last name?
Of the Southern Isles.
Hmm. Uh...
-Foot size? -Foot size doesn't matter.
But knowing a man before you marry him kinda does.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING) You've got opinions on my life and my relations
But let me tell you what
Okay, enlighten me.
Love is the one thing that has zero complications
And I can trust my gut
Okay, you frighten me.
Some people know their hearts the minute true love starts
RICKY: Some people read a lot of books
I like books.
Some people simply know when true love says hello
Some folks are taken in by princely looks
BOTH: What do you know about love?
What do you know about love?
All I'm saying is when you go to climb a mountain
You don't just jump to the top
If it's true love, you can.
There's scaling and scrambling And too many steps for counting
And the work doesn't stop
Maybe for you.
RICKY: Love's not an easy climb You have to take your time
We get a whole life That's the plan
RICKY: That's not a plan.
Love's not a thing you get It's work and tears and sweat
So says the sweaty, smelly mountain man
BOTH: What do you know about love?
What do you know about anything, anything?
Anyone with half a brain would've worn some winter gear
Anyone with half a life would have one friend who's not a deer
I do.
Any fool who jumps headlong is gonna bang their head
Any fool who doesn't jump right now is probably gonna end up dead
Like I said...
BOTH: So what do you know about love?
Wow. You're really strong.
BOTH: What do you know about love?
I lift a lot of ice.
BOTH: At least we know one thing This trip should be interesting
What do you know about love?
All right, let's take a five, everyone.
Ricky, that must've been awful for you. Being Gina's jilted ex and all.
(CHUCKLES) Heart-wrenching, honestly.
ASHLYN: You should've seen Ricky two semesters ago.
He could barely memorize his lines. I'm impressed.
If you ask me, I'd say he's clearly genuinely heartsick.
I mean, the heavy breathing, the cracking voice, the eyes...
They actually do have history. Are you some kind of Svengali, or...
I'm interested in what lies beneath the surface of us all.
Oh, right. Psych major. That's so amazing.
From where I sit, Ricky is a perfect example of sublimated yearning.
And when we have to wait for the kind of love we truly need,
that frustration manifests itself in unexpected ways.
Wait. Are you in character right now as the shrink?
-Wouldn't you like to know? -I mean, I might. (CHUCKLES)
(MOUTHING INDISTINCTLY)
But, you know, I've always been interested in psychology
ever since losing my unborn twin.
In prison. (DRAMATICALLY) During a recession.
VAL: How are you so strong?
EJ: Hey, G.
Hey.
Okay, I know the whole reindeer costume was upsetting,
but are you mad at me about something?
-Don't get me started. -(CHUCKLES) Is that a threat?
Hey, I know today's a little weird.
But I promise I'll have time to hang once this whole Corbin thing gets sorted out.
Will you? 'Cause I kind of feel like we're having totally different summers.
Yeah, I know. But tomorrow's gonna be better. I promise. Okay?
-(ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY) -CARLOS: Guys.
Well, I underestimated you guys.
What a mess.
And I mean a mess in an award-winning way.
(CHUCKLES)
You were terrified. You guys should've seen your faces. That was good.
All right, Channing out.
-Congratulations, everyone. We did it. -(ALL CHEERING)
Thanks for being our fearless leader, Carlos. You have a very weird gift.
ALL: (CHANTING) Carlos. Carlos. Carlos.
Hey.
Sorry if I was a little intense back there.
No, it's not you. It's me.
I don't think you're allowed to change catchphrases.
-Don't get me started. -A lesson I've learned before.
(GINA CHUCKLES)
To be honest, I just didn't think my summer of firsts
would include my first boyfriend fight.
(CHUCKLES) It's not even a fight. It's like a one-sided confusion.
First boyfriend secret, I guess.
-(GINA CHUCKLES SOFTLY) -Hmm.
Yeah, I guess it's really hard not to just say what you feel, you know?
Hey. Break up the rebound, you two. I forgot something.
(CHUCKLES)
Children, I forgot about the group photo.
Can't do publicity at the Mouse House without a super fierce cast pic.
Am I right?
It's Frozen time.
(ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
(BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
I'm, like, on guard making sure... Seriously, like, all of the tape...
-You're this one. -Uh-huh.
-And you're this one. -Cute.
Dude, why is Gina mad at me?
I think she's just coming down from the rehearsal.
This documentary means a lot to her.
Right, yeah. That makes sense.
All right, smile, guys. We're almost home.
-Almost home as in Salt Lake or St. Louis? -Wait. What?
Are you confused? Welcome to the club.
What's this about St. Louis?
It's where the World's Fair was held in 1904. It's a great city.
-Can we talk about this later? -Do not get me started.
Smile. Harder, harder. Like you're angry happy. Yeah.
Thanks again. Great day, you guys. The Bleu Man's gonna be so happy.
I can call him that 'cause we're close. Peace.
Well, that couldn't have gone longer.
I, for one, am looking forward to being reviled by America.
You know, a simple thank you would do the trick.
Guys, can we just stop getting worked up over this, okay?
If we can't pull this summer together,
we're gonna have bigger problems than just labels on a poster.
I gotta be Elsa by the end of the week, and if I can't land that high E flat,
they're gonna edit me out of the show.
Okay, do you wanna take it down like 1,000?
Being this anxious all the time is literally bad for your skin.
-Um, I'm sorry. What was that word? -Anxious?
-Did you tell him what my mom... -Wait.
Told me what?
Guys, this is all a natural response
to a day of high tensions and intense emotions,
so let's just walk it off, take a deep breath...
Val, maybe now's not the time for your psychoanalysis. Read the room.
In my experience, Val prefers to read letters that aren't for her.
I know Val is hard to handle sometimes.
I used to crush on her, too,
but yelling at people is no way to express your romantic feelings.
(LAUGHS)
I'm sorry. What? That's...
-Okay. -I have a boyfriend.
Can you just once stop telling everyone who they are and how they should be?
-Oh, you're talking to me now? -Forget it. You're just gonna yell.
Yeah, that's right, Jet. Make me the bad guy, once again.
Did I miss an episode of our reality show? Did these two know each other before camp?
Look, Maddie, I'm here, aren't I? I'm trying.
Because you were forced to come here
after you literally got expelled from school.
Or are we just pretending that didn't happen?
You have never let me explain that.
Then why don't you also explain why you didn't show up to my 15th birthday party?
Explain why I lose all of my confidence when you're around me,
and heck, Jet, why don't you explain
why you told Mom and Dad about me and Madison
when you found her texts in my phone? Explain that.
Mom and... Wait. What?
-I have done a terrible thing. -RICKY: I need to sit down.
I need to lie down.
There are a lot of secrets floating around.
EJ: Whatever you saw in the letter, it's not what it looks like.
St. Louis, EJ? You let me think we were gonna be neighbors.
And we will be.
My dad is trying to make me go to Caswell Success School,
but I'm going to change his mind.
I know if he sees that I can make this docuseries a success,
he'll let up on the whole training thing.
But I'm not leaving Salt Lake without a fight.
Then why didn't you just tell me?
I don't wanna feel like you're keeping things from me.
-Ever. -Can I be Team Gina on this?
Elton John Caswell, I am so disappointed in you.
Wait. That's what "EJ" stands for?
-Huh, Rocket Man. -(LAUGHS) Another thing I didn't know.
I always assumed you were, like, "Eric Junior."
-My dad's name is Cash. -That is on-brand.
You guys. Jet and Maddox are siblings?
Gina, please. I didn't... I just...
You just acted like an old version of yourself.
I get it. Or maybe it's just the real EJ of Shallow Lake.
You overheard all of that in there, didn't you?
I am very confused, and I feel like I need a nap. Except I'm too old for naps.
Honestly, if that's what theater kids are like...
No.
We think we should try something lower stakes.
Like Olympic speed skating.
Look, we can be a lot, but that's just who theater kids are.
-At the end of the day we... -Slap each other?
(CHUCKLES) Only if we're paid to.
Look, my mom sent me here to get me out of my shell,
but I understand why turtles spend so much time inside.
It's quiet inside. And there are good snacks.
I don't know anything about turtles. The point is, you all are crazy.
Trust me, it's worth it.
Even when tensions get high and you get, uh, low,
you'll be proud of who you are on opening night.
-Your lip is trembling. -I believe you.
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
You always manage to find my hiding spots.
I'm surprised you're not hitchhiking home again.
Dude, don't. I would leave if I could.
What are you running from?
Let's just say Maddie doesn't think I was playing a role today.
I've been a bad guy to her for a long time and it's eating me up.
I don't know. It's hard to describe.
It helps, sometimes when we can't find the words, we just sing instead.
-Who's we? -Us. The theater kids.
Yeah. Well, I'm not you.
(RICKY SIGHS)
-Will he ever forgive me? -Nah. This is about his sister.
-And you killed it today, by the way. -Thanks. You weren't too bad yourself.
Jilted ex suits you, bro.
Oh, no. I said "bro" and now you're gonna reveal something.
-Between us... -Oh, dear.
It's possible I wasn't completely acting today
when I was "pretending" to crush on Gina.
-I was wondering. -Did it show?
My straight-dar is exquisite. With one notable exception earlier.
-Promise you won't tell. -I'm no instigator.
(RUSTLING)
(SIGHS)
(PLAYING MELANCHOLY MUSIC)
(SINGING) Fires always love to start around me
Thought that you'd be better off without me
Walking away was all that I could do
Swear I only had the best intentions No idea that you would feel abandoned
You know that I'd never do that to you
I just wanna go back Everything that we had
And nobody's perfect I know I made some mistakes
And maybe in your eyes I can't do nothing right
But my heart is in the right, right place
I hate that I hurt you
I wish I knew what to say All I can do is try
And hope you realize that my heart is in the right, right place
I've had about a million chances Blame myself for everything that happened
I'd like to think I'm just misunderstood
(HUMS)
I've felt so out of place Alienated
And you can't escape the trouble I'm making
If I could take it back you know I would
Miss the you and me that we used to be
Oh
And nobody's perfect I know I made some mistakes
And maybe in your eyes I can't do nothing right
But my heart is in the right, right place
I hate that I hurt you
I wish I knew what to say
All I can do is try and hope you realize
That my heart is in the right, right place
I, I wanna let you know
Let you know
If you didn't know, you didn't know
My heart is in the right, right, right place
And I, I, I wanna let you know Let you know
If it didn't show It didn't show
My heart is in the right, right, right place
And nobody's perfect
I know I made some mistakes Give it a little time
And you'll realize that my heart is in the right place
Hey, it's me.
How soon can you be here?
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)