1
00:00:45,521 --> 00:00:47,521
♪ upbeat holiday music ♪

2
00:01:07,751 --> 00:01:09,761
♪ ♪

3
00:01:30,071 --> 00:01:32,071
♪ ♪

4
00:01:49,501 --> 00:01:51,511
♪ ♪

5
00:02:08,981 --> 00:02:10,981
[ "Candy Cane Lane" by Sia playing ]

6
00:02:10,981 --> 00:02:14,531
♪ Take a trip down
Candy Cane Lane with me ♪

7
00:02:14,531 --> 00:02:17,281
♪ It's the cutest thing
I swear you'll ever see ♪

8
00:02:17,281 --> 00:02:20,831
♪ It's the best, so get dressed ♪

9
00:02:20,831 --> 00:02:25,711
♪ I'll impress you with
the colors of the rainbow ♪

10
00:02:25,711 --> 00:02:29,331
♪ Take a trip down
Candy Cane Lane with me ♪

11
00:02:29,331 --> 00:02:31,881
♪ It's so magical,
let's go there in your dreams ♪

12
00:02:31,881 --> 00:02:33,421
♪ It's the best... ♪

13
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:35,511
TRUDY: ...so surprised
when he saw all those presents

14
00:02:35,511 --> 00:02:38,301
under the Christmas tree,
and she was one of them.

15
00:02:38,301 --> 00:02:42,181
Now, this house was originally owned
by Herbert Flackshaw,

16
00:02:42,181 --> 00:02:44,521
who started this tradition
on Candy Cane Lane.

17
00:02:44,521 --> 00:02:48,941
He even hired his nephew Otis
to play Santa Claus for many years,

18
00:02:48,941 --> 00:02:51,731
until he was arrested
for child endangerment in 1992.

19
00:02:51,731 --> 00:02:54,231
Ooh, you guys got to look at this house.

20
00:02:54,231 --> 00:02:55,651
This house is the site...

21
00:02:55,651 --> 00:02:57,651
HARPER:
Are you having fun?

22
00:02:58,661 --> 00:02:59,991
‐ Are you having fun?

23
00:02:59,991 --> 00:03:01,911
‐ [ laughing ] Yes, I think this is cute.

24
00:03:01,911 --> 00:03:03,331
‐ It is. Yeah.

25
00:03:03,331 --> 00:03:05,541
‐ Oh, God, you hate it.

26
00:03:05,541 --> 00:03:07,331
‐ [ laughing ] No, I don't hate it.

27
00:03:07,331 --> 00:03:09,251
Baby, I'm just not
a huge Christmas person.

28
00:03:09,251 --> 00:03:11,461
‐ I know, I know, but... [ groans ]

29
00:03:11,461 --> 00:03:14,001
how can you not like the lights
and the decorations

30
00:03:14,001 --> 00:03:15,801
and the Christmas trees?

31
00:03:15,801 --> 00:03:20,091
‐ Fun fact: did you know
that Christmas trees are responsible

32
00:03:20,091 --> 00:03:23,221
for an annual average of four deaths,

33
00:03:23,221 --> 00:03:25,271
15 injuries

34
00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:28,691
and a loss of $12 million?

35
00:03:28,691 --> 00:03:30,401
‐ [ laughing ] Okay, I get it.

36
00:03:30,401 --> 00:03:32,231
I think you made your point.
‐ [ chuckles ]

37
00:03:32,231 --> 00:03:34,271
Thank you for trying to get me
to like Christmas.

38
00:03:34,271 --> 00:03:35,731
I love that you love it.

39
00:03:35,731 --> 00:03:37,821
I'm just so content taking care
of other people's pets

40
00:03:37,821 --> 00:03:39,531
when they're away for the holiday‐‐
‐ [ gasps ]

41
00:03:39,531 --> 00:03:40,951
Come with me.

42
00:03:42,661 --> 00:03:44,451
‐ Wait, where are we going?

43
00:03:46,451 --> 00:03:48,001
Do you know these people?

44
00:03:48,001 --> 00:03:50,001
What are you doing?
‐ No. Come here.

45
00:03:54,251 --> 00:03:57,091
‐ [ grunts ] Still not clear on the plan.

46
00:03:57,091 --> 00:03:59,591
‐ Will you shut up and follow me, please?

47
00:03:59,591 --> 00:04:01,551
Come on.

48
00:04:01,551 --> 00:04:02,971
‐ [ scoffs ]

49
00:04:09,391 --> 00:04:11,231
‐ [ Harper sighs ]

50
00:04:13,651 --> 00:04:15,611
Well, does this do anything for you?

51
00:04:19,901 --> 00:04:21,911
‐ This is beautiful.

52
00:04:23,621 --> 00:04:25,991
HARPER: I hate that you're gonna
be alone on Christmas.

53
00:04:25,991 --> 00:04:27,831
I'm gonna miss you.

54
00:04:27,831 --> 00:04:29,831
‐ Hey, I'm gonna miss you, too.

55
00:04:29,831 --> 00:04:31,791
‐ We could just stay up here.

56
00:04:34,421 --> 00:04:36,801
‐ I'd do that.
‐ [ chuckles ]

57
00:04:37,961 --> 00:04:39,881
WOMAN:
Hey! I hear you up there.

58
00:04:39,881 --> 00:04:41,221
I'm calling the police.
‐ [ gasps ]

59
00:04:41,221 --> 00:04:42,681
‐ Um...
‐ [ gasping ]

60
00:04:42,681 --> 00:04:44,091
‐ [ both grunting ]

61
00:04:44,091 --> 00:04:46,011
[ sliding ]
‐ [ Abby grunts ]

62
00:04:46,011 --> 00:04:47,721
‐ Abby?
ABBY: Harper!

63
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:50,231
‐ [ screams ] Oh, my God.

64
00:04:50,231 --> 00:04:51,981
Are you okay?
‐ Um...

65
00:04:51,981 --> 00:04:54,311
I don't know. Uh, what do I do?

66
00:04:54,311 --> 00:04:56,271
‐ Stay there. I'm gonna get you down.

67
00:04:56,271 --> 00:04:57,731
‐ Okay. Yeah.

68
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,611
‐ Shit.
‐ Uh...

69
00:05:00,651 --> 00:05:02,451
[ gasps ] Oh.

70
00:05:02,451 --> 00:05:04,111
WOMAN:
What are you doing out there?

71
00:05:04,111 --> 00:05:05,911
‐ Harper!
WOMAN: Are you peeping?

72
00:05:05,911 --> 00:05:07,491
Don't you peep at me.

73
00:05:07,491 --> 00:05:08,581
‐ Oh, God! [ yells ]

74
00:05:08,581 --> 00:05:09,871
[ air hissing ]
HARPER: Abby?

75
00:05:09,871 --> 00:05:11,831
‐ [ groaning ]

76
00:05:11,831 --> 00:05:13,621
‐ Oh, my God. Are you okay?

77
00:05:13,621 --> 00:05:15,211
‐ I'm so great.

78
00:05:15,211 --> 00:05:16,791
‐ Here, here. Yeah, yeah, come on.

79
00:05:16,791 --> 00:05:18,001
We got to go. Come on.

80
00:05:18,001 --> 00:05:19,211
She's coming. Go. Run.
‐ Oh. Hey.

81
00:05:19,211 --> 00:05:20,631
Yeah, you better run.

82
00:05:20,631 --> 00:05:22,301
Pervert.
‐ [ laughing ]

83
00:05:22,301 --> 00:05:24,301
‐ Who said you could come downstairs?

84
00:05:24,301 --> 00:05:25,971
Giddyap.

85
00:05:25,971 --> 00:05:27,971
‐ [ both laughing ]

86
00:05:29,141 --> 00:05:30,311
[ whooping ]

87
00:05:31,351 --> 00:05:33,351
[ laughing continues ]

88
00:05:45,451 --> 00:05:47,451
‐ [ Harper sighs ]

89
00:05:47,451 --> 00:05:48,991
Come with me.

90
00:05:48,991 --> 00:05:50,541
‐ Where?

91
00:05:50,541 --> 00:05:53,121
‐ To my parents' house for Christmas.

92
00:05:53,121 --> 00:05:55,751
‐ Oh, really?

93
00:05:55,751 --> 00:05:57,671
I've got the pets to sit.

94
00:05:57,671 --> 00:06:00,461
‐ Oh, my God, get someone
to cover for you.

95
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,671
I want to...

96
00:06:02,671 --> 00:06:05,341
wake up with you on Christmas morning.

97
00:06:05,341 --> 00:06:08,391
And if that doesn't
convince you to love Christmas,

98
00:06:08,391 --> 00:06:10,391
I'll never bring it up again.

99
00:06:12,641 --> 00:06:14,891
‐ Deal.

100
00:06:14,891 --> 00:06:16,811
Yeah.
‐ Mm.

101
00:06:28,201 --> 00:06:31,541
[ "Jingle Bells" by Joy Oladokun playing ]

102
00:06:31,541 --> 00:06:34,831
[ in distance ]
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

103
00:06:34,831 --> 00:06:38,131
♪ In a one‐horse open sleigh ♪

104
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:41,461
♪ O'er the fields we go ♪

105
00:06:41,461 --> 00:06:44,711
♪ Laughing all the way ♪

106
00:06:44,711 --> 00:06:47,841
♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪

107
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,091
[ door closes ]

108
00:06:49,091 --> 00:06:50,601
♪ Making spirits bright ♪

109
00:06:50,601 --> 00:06:54,391
♪ What fun it is to laugh and sing ♪

110
00:06:54,391 --> 00:06:57,351
♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪

111
00:06:57,351 --> 00:06:59,311
♪ Oh, jingle bells... ♪

112
00:06:59,311 --> 00:07:00,561
‐ Hi.

113
00:07:00,561 --> 00:07:01,771
‐ Hey.

114
00:07:01,771 --> 00:07:02,941
Sit down.

115
00:07:02,941 --> 00:07:05,071
‐ What's going on in here?

116
00:07:05,071 --> 00:07:08,741
‐ I just woke up thinking about
going home with you and got...

117
00:07:08,741 --> 00:07:10,701
very excited about Christmas.

118
00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:15,081
‐ Oh... baby, you don't‐‐
You don't have to come with me.

119
00:07:15,081 --> 00:07:16,251
‐ Well, I want to.
HARPER: No.

120
00:07:16,251 --> 00:07:18,041
No, no, no, no, I‐‐ [ sighs ]

121
00:07:18,041 --> 00:07:20,211
I feel like I really put you
on the spot last night,

122
00:07:20,211 --> 00:07:22,751
and I understand how you feel
about Christmas

123
00:07:22,751 --> 00:07:24,841
because you lost your parents,
and you just don't have‐‐

124
00:07:24,841 --> 00:07:26,971
‐ No, no, no, I‐I genuinely want to go.

125
00:07:26,971 --> 00:07:28,881
‐ Uh‐huh.

126
00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:31,931
‐ I get to go meet the people
that made my favorite person.

127
00:07:31,931 --> 00:07:33,641
‐ Okay.

128
00:07:33,641 --> 00:07:36,391
But who's gonna look after all those pets?

129
00:07:36,391 --> 00:07:38,391
‐ John's gonna cover for me.

130
00:07:42,861 --> 00:07:45,071
I know why you're worried.

131
00:07:45,071 --> 00:07:47,191
But don't be.

132
00:07:47,191 --> 00:07:49,361
I'm all in on Christmas.

133
00:07:49,361 --> 00:07:50,991
‐ [ inhales deeply ]

134
00:07:50,991 --> 00:07:52,991
ABBY: Hmm?
‐ Good.

135
00:07:52,991 --> 00:07:54,581
ABBY:
Yeah.

136
00:07:56,701 --> 00:07:58,331
So, for the cat,
you can go every other day,

137
00:07:58,331 --> 00:08:00,461
but the dog and the fish need
to be seen morning and night.

138
00:08:00,461 --> 00:08:01,881
‐ Mm‐hmm. Okay.
‐ Oh, and the apartment on Butler

139
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:03,751
has this weird lock, so if you jiggle it,

140
00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:05,921
it will lock, but you have to
make sure that you do that.

141
00:08:05,921 --> 00:08:07,711
‐ Yes.
‐ What are you doing on your phone?

142
00:08:07,711 --> 00:08:10,261
‐ I'm sorry, I left a gentleman
alone in my apartment,

143
00:08:10,261 --> 00:08:12,261
so I'm tracking him
to make sure he leaves.

144
00:08:12,261 --> 00:08:14,181
‐ You're tracking him?
‐ Yeah. I track everybody.

145
00:08:14,181 --> 00:08:16,601
If the NSA can do it, so can I.

146
00:08:16,601 --> 00:08:18,271
And he's gone.
Sorry, what were you saying?

147
00:08:19,311 --> 00:08:20,771
‐ I wrote it all down.

148
00:08:20,771 --> 00:08:22,271
They're really specific directions,

149
00:08:22,271 --> 00:08:24,111
but if you need anything,
you can obviously call me.

150
00:08:24,111 --> 00:08:25,321
‐ Abigail, don't worry.

151
00:08:25,321 --> 00:08:28,401
I'm responsible for the careers
of dozens of authors.

152
00:08:28,401 --> 00:08:31,071
I am more than capable of taking care
of a few pets for two days.

153
00:08:31,071 --> 00:08:33,201
‐ It's... it's five days.

154
00:08:33,201 --> 00:08:34,201
‐ Five days. That's what I said.

155
00:08:34,201 --> 00:08:35,201
WAITER: Refill?
‐ Hi.

156
00:08:35,201 --> 00:08:38,371
And I sort of think I made
the right decision, but at the same time‐‐

157
00:08:38,371 --> 00:08:39,581
‐ What is Ultrasuede?

158
00:08:39,581 --> 00:08:42,831
‐ Ultrasuede is, like,
a water‐resistant fabric.

159
00:08:42,831 --> 00:08:44,251
‐ Hello.

160
00:08:44,251 --> 00:08:45,791
‐ What are we doing here?

161
00:08:45,791 --> 00:08:47,251
‐ Hi. Can I help you?

162
00:08:47,251 --> 00:08:48,921
‐ Yeah, I'm picking up.
My name's Abby Holland.

163
00:08:48,921 --> 00:08:50,761
‐ Oh, yes, of course.
Um, just wait right here.

164
00:08:50,761 --> 00:08:52,931
I'll be right back.
Oh, enjoy some champagne.

165
00:08:52,931 --> 00:08:54,721
‐ Oh.

166
00:08:54,721 --> 00:08:55,851
Thank you.

167
00:08:55,851 --> 00:08:57,721
I love champagne.

168
00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:00,641
‐ Here we are.

169
00:09:01,601 --> 00:09:02,851
May I?
‐ Yeah, of course. Thanks.

170
00:09:08,611 --> 00:09:10,441
There it is.

171
00:09:10,441 --> 00:09:12,071
‐ No.

172
00:09:13,781 --> 00:09:15,701
Abby, you and Harper have
a perfect relationship.

173
00:09:15,701 --> 00:09:17,491
Why do you want to ruin that

174
00:09:17,491 --> 00:09:19,911
by engaging in one of
the most archaic institutions

175
00:09:19,911 --> 00:09:22,121
in the history of the human race?

176
00:09:22,121 --> 00:09:23,871
‐ Because I want to marry her.

177
00:09:23,871 --> 00:09:26,671
‐ Okay, you say that,
but what you're actually doing

178
00:09:26,671 --> 00:09:28,921
is tricking the woman you claim to love

179
00:09:28,921 --> 00:09:31,461
by trapping her in a box
of heteronormativity

180
00:09:31,461 --> 00:09:33,341
and trying to make her your property.

181
00:09:33,341 --> 00:09:35,801
She is not a rice cooker or a cake plate.

182
00:09:35,801 --> 00:09:37,181
She's a human being.

183
00:09:37,181 --> 00:09:38,561
‐ No, it's not about owning her.

184
00:09:38,561 --> 00:09:40,101
It's about building a life with her.

185
00:09:40,101 --> 00:09:44,691
She is my person,
and I really want everyone to know that.

186
00:09:46,021 --> 00:09:49,111
‐ I suppose that's one way
of looking at it.

187
00:09:49,111 --> 00:09:51,111
So, when are you gonna ask her?

188
00:09:52,691 --> 00:09:54,611
‐ I was thinking of doing it
on New Year's,

189
00:09:54,611 --> 00:09:56,741
but now that I'm going home with her...

190
00:09:56,741 --> 00:09:58,781
I understand this is very old‐fashioned,

191
00:09:58,781 --> 00:10:00,871
but I'm probably gonna ask
her dad for his blessing

192
00:10:00,871 --> 00:10:02,871
and propose on Christmas morning.

193
00:10:04,251 --> 00:10:08,001
‐ I'm sorry, ask her dad for his blessing?

194
00:10:08,001 --> 00:10:11,381
[ "Jolly Old Saint Nicholas"
by Caveboy playing ]

195
00:10:11,381 --> 00:10:13,211
Way to stick it to the patriarchy.

196
00:10:13,211 --> 00:10:15,181
Really well done.

197
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:18,641
♪ Jolly old Saint Nicholas ♪

198
00:10:18,641 --> 00:10:21,601
♪ Lean your ear this way ♪

199
00:10:21,601 --> 00:10:25,061
♪ Don't you tell a single soul ♪

200
00:10:25,061 --> 00:10:27,981
♪ What I'm gonna say... ♪

201
00:10:27,981 --> 00:10:29,361
ABBY:
God, I'm so excited.

202
00:10:29,361 --> 00:10:32,481
I can't believe I'm finally
gonna meet everyone.

203
00:10:32,481 --> 00:10:36,281
I mean, I haven't had
a family Christmas in ten years.

204
00:10:36,281 --> 00:10:38,701
Also, a fact you don't know about me:

205
00:10:38,701 --> 00:10:41,451
I am actually very good with parents.

206
00:10:41,451 --> 00:10:44,161
‐ Okay, there's something
that we should talk about

207
00:10:44,161 --> 00:10:45,751
before we get to my parents' house.

208
00:10:45,751 --> 00:10:46,831
‐ What is it?

209
00:10:46,831 --> 00:10:48,831
‐ Do you remember this summer

210
00:10:48,831 --> 00:10:53,051
when I came out to my parents
and told them we were together

211
00:10:53,051 --> 00:10:55,261
and they took it really well?

212
00:10:55,261 --> 00:10:56,971
‐ Yeah.

213
00:10:56,971 --> 00:11:01,391
‐ Okay, well, that wasn't
entirely accurate.

214
00:11:01,391 --> 00:11:03,811
‐ They didn't take it well?

215
00:11:03,811 --> 00:11:05,851
‐ No. No, no.

216
00:11:05,851 --> 00:11:08,351
Um...

217
00:11:08,351 --> 00:11:10,361
I didn't tell them.

218
00:11:12,821 --> 00:11:15,151
I was going to, and then Dad told us

219
00:11:15,151 --> 00:11:16,951
that he was running for mayor,

220
00:11:16,951 --> 00:11:19,281
and it just didn't feel
like the right time,

221
00:11:19,281 --> 00:11:22,121
and then now he's trying to get
the support of this donor,

222
00:11:22,121 --> 00:11:24,581
and our whole Christmas is
about impressing this person,

223
00:11:24,581 --> 00:11:27,711
which is stressing my mom out
even more than usual, and I just‐‐

224
00:11:27,711 --> 00:11:30,081
I know that if I tell them now,

225
00:11:30,081 --> 00:11:33,421
their reaction is gonna be colored
by all this other stress,

226
00:11:33,421 --> 00:11:35,921
and I‐I'm sorry,
I don't think that's fair.

227
00:11:35,921 --> 00:11:37,671
To you or to us.

228
00:11:37,671 --> 00:11:39,341
‐ Then why did you invite me?

229
00:11:39,341 --> 00:11:43,761
‐ Because we were just having
such a special night, and...

230
00:11:43,761 --> 00:11:47,601
and, fine, I got carried away,
but it's because I love you

231
00:11:47,601 --> 00:11:51,271
and‐and I want to give you
such a great Christmas.

232
00:11:51,271 --> 00:11:53,691
‐ You're off to a really great start.

233
00:11:53,691 --> 00:11:54,861
‐ I'm so sorry.

234
00:11:54,861 --> 00:11:56,901
‐ So, who do they think I am?

235
00:11:56,901 --> 00:11:58,361
‐ My roommate.

236
00:11:58,361 --> 00:12:00,321
‐ They don't think it's weird
that you're bringing

237
00:12:00,321 --> 00:12:02,071
your roommate home for Christmas?

238
00:12:02,071 --> 00:12:04,831
‐ No, because I told them that
you had nowhere else to go

239
00:12:04,831 --> 00:12:08,911
because your parents
are no longer with us.

240
00:12:08,911 --> 00:12:10,251
‐ I'm not going.

241
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:14,251
‐ Look, this is actually
a really good opportunity

242
00:12:14,251 --> 00:12:19,511
for them to see how amazing
and kind and smart you are.

243
00:12:19,511 --> 00:12:21,511
You said it yourself,
you're great with parents,

244
00:12:21,511 --> 00:12:24,551
so they're gonna meet you,
they're gonna fall in love with you,

245
00:12:24,551 --> 00:12:27,811
and then that'll make it so much easier
when I do tell them.

246
00:12:29,681 --> 00:12:31,691
Look...

247
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:37,151
I get it, okay?

248
00:12:37,151 --> 00:12:40,241
I am asking a lot of you.

249
00:12:40,241 --> 00:12:42,911
But I promise I will tell them everything

250
00:12:42,911 --> 00:12:44,911
after the holidays.

251
00:12:52,541 --> 00:12:54,171
‐ Okay, we can do this.

252
00:12:57,251 --> 00:12:58,921
It's five days.

253
00:12:58,921 --> 00:13:00,761
How bad can it be?

254
00:13:00,761 --> 00:13:02,761
[ "Jingle Bells" instrumental playing ]

255
00:13:12,941 --> 00:13:15,191
ABBY: Should I have some sort
of cover story or something?

256
00:13:15,191 --> 00:13:16,361
HARPER:
Oh, no, no.

257
00:13:16,361 --> 00:13:17,981
Just be you.
‐ Okay.

258
00:13:17,981 --> 00:13:19,731
‐ I mean, but don't, you know,

259
00:13:19,731 --> 00:13:22,321
say that we're together,
obviously, and, um...

260
00:13:22,321 --> 00:13:26,701
you know, maybe don't mention
that you're, um...

261
00:13:26,701 --> 00:13:28,241
‐ Gay?
‐ Yeah.

262
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:31,161
Yeah, I think, actually,
it might be better just to avoid it.

263
00:13:31,161 --> 00:13:32,461
But don't lie.

264
00:13:32,461 --> 00:13:34,421
You're a very bad liar.

265
00:13:34,421 --> 00:13:35,671
‐ No, I'm not.

266
00:13:37,291 --> 00:13:39,631
‐ Hi!
‐ Hi.

267
00:13:39,631 --> 00:13:41,131
‐ Wait.

268
00:13:41,131 --> 00:13:42,511
‐ Mom, what are you doing?
[ camera clicking ]

269
00:13:42,511 --> 00:13:45,261
‐ I started an Instagram feed

270
00:13:45,261 --> 00:13:49,061
for your father to give voters
a peek behind the curtain.

271
00:13:49,061 --> 00:13:50,851
Your mother's going viral!

272
00:13:50,851 --> 00:13:52,481
‐ [ all chuckle ]

273
00:13:52,481 --> 00:13:53,601
TIPPER:
Hi!

274
00:13:53,601 --> 00:13:55,191
BOTH:
Aw.

275
00:13:55,191 --> 00:13:57,151
‐ Look at you.

276
00:13:57,151 --> 00:14:01,531
You get more and more beautiful
every single time I see you.

277
00:14:01,531 --> 00:14:03,951
‐ [ laughing ] Mom, stop.

278
00:14:03,951 --> 00:14:05,451
‐ Did you bring concealer?

279
00:14:05,451 --> 00:14:07,161
‐ Yeah. This is Abby.

280
00:14:07,161 --> 00:14:08,581
‐ Hi, Abby.

281
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,201
‐ [ chuckles ]
TIPPER: It is so nice to meet you.

282
00:14:10,201 --> 00:14:11,621
‐ It's so nice to meet you, too.

283
00:14:11,621 --> 00:14:12,871
Thank you for having me here.

284
00:14:12,871 --> 00:14:14,291
‐ It is nothing.

285
00:14:14,291 --> 00:14:18,671
Harper's father and I are always happy
to open our doors to those in need.

286
00:14:18,671 --> 00:14:20,091
‐ Where is Dad?

287
00:14:20,091 --> 00:14:22,461
‐ Uh, he's on a call.
‐ Oh, okay. Well‐‐

288
00:14:22,461 --> 00:14:24,171
‐ Harper!
‐ [ gasping, yelling ]

289
00:14:24,171 --> 00:14:26,431
‐ Oh, Jane.
‐ [ Jane laughing ]

290
00:14:26,431 --> 00:14:28,181
HARPER:
Oh, I have asked you not to do that.

291
00:14:28,181 --> 00:14:29,681
‐ I know. I didn't listen.

292
00:14:29,681 --> 00:14:31,511
JANE: Oh. Yay!
HARPER: Oh.

293
00:14:31,511 --> 00:14:33,271
I didn't think you'd be here,
but here you are.

294
00:14:33,271 --> 00:14:34,851
‐ Oh, I didn't want to wait
one more second

295
00:14:34,851 --> 00:14:36,231
to see my little sis.
‐ Oh, what's this?

296
00:14:36,231 --> 00:14:37,771
‐ Oh, I was changing the air filters.
‐ It's sticky.

297
00:14:37,771 --> 00:14:39,771
‐ Thank you, Jane.

298
00:14:39,771 --> 00:14:41,481
‐ Yeah, hi. You must be Abby.

299
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:44,241
‐ Yeah. Nice to meet you.
JANE: You, too.

300
00:14:44,241 --> 00:14:45,861
Um...

301
00:14:47,281 --> 00:14:50,071
I'm so sorry about your parents.

302
00:14:50,071 --> 00:14:51,491
HARPER:
Oh, no.

303
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,491
‐ Uh, it‐it ha‐‐
It happened a long time ago.

304
00:14:54,871 --> 00:14:56,461
‐ You're so brave.

305
00:14:56,461 --> 00:14:57,961
ABBY: Oh.
JANE: You don't need to be.

306
00:14:57,961 --> 00:14:59,421
‐ Jane.
‐ Mom, can you just‐‐

307
00:14:59,421 --> 00:15:00,961
TIPPER:
Okay. That's enough, Jane.

308
00:15:00,961 --> 00:15:03,551
Jane, too much. Too much.
JANE: You're always safe with‐‐

309
00:15:03,551 --> 00:15:06,131
‐ So, this is our living room.

310
00:15:06,131 --> 00:15:08,011
‐ Wow, that's a beautiful piano.

311
00:15:08,011 --> 00:15:09,341
‐ Isn't it?

312
00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:11,391
Of course, I wish
my daughters had bothered

313
00:15:11,391 --> 00:15:13,561
to learn to play it,
but it does look nice.

314
00:15:13,561 --> 00:15:15,521
‐ I took lessons for eight years.

315
00:15:15,521 --> 00:15:17,191
TIPPER:
And this is the den.

316
00:15:17,191 --> 00:15:19,021
‐ You're sure Harry will be there
tomorrow night, right?

317
00:15:19,021 --> 00:15:20,061
Perfect.

318
00:15:20,061 --> 00:15:21,731
Oh, uh, Carolyn, I'll call you later.

319
00:15:21,731 --> 00:15:23,361
My daughter just arrived.

320
00:15:23,361 --> 00:15:25,191
There she is, my perfect girl.

321
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,321
‐ Hi, Dad. [ laughs ]
‐ Oh, look at you.

322
00:15:27,321 --> 00:15:29,911
BOTH: Oh!
[ camera clicks ]

323
00:15:29,911 --> 00:15:32,331
‐ Hi, Dad.
‐ Jane, glad you're here.

324
00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:34,621
The Internet has been a little spotty.

325
00:15:34,621 --> 00:15:36,621
‐ Ugh, not again.

326
00:15:36,621 --> 00:15:39,251
‐ Oh, and this is Harper's orphan friend.

327
00:15:39,251 --> 00:15:41,001
HARPER: Oh.
‐ This is Abby.

328
00:15:41,001 --> 00:15:42,751
‐ Yes, of course.
ABBY: Hey, sir.

329
00:15:42,751 --> 00:15:44,381
‐ [ sighs ] Terrible.

330
00:15:44,381 --> 00:15:46,511
There, there.

331
00:15:46,511 --> 00:15:48,301
Harper, I read your piece
about that senator.

332
00:15:48,301 --> 00:15:49,721
He's got to resign, right?

333
00:15:49,721 --> 00:15:51,511
HARPER:
Yeah, I think it's just a matter of time.

334
00:15:51,511 --> 00:15:53,971
‐ That was a good piece.
‐ Aw.

335
00:15:53,971 --> 00:15:54,971
Thanks, Dad.

336
00:15:54,971 --> 00:15:56,601
‐ You know what was really good?

337
00:15:56,601 --> 00:15:58,981
Um, the speech that you made
at the food bank on Thanksgiving.

338
00:15:58,981 --> 00:16:01,401
‐ Oh, thank you. You‐you know,
that speech wasn't scripted.

339
00:16:01,401 --> 00:16:02,981
I ju‐‐ It just came to me.

340
00:16:02,981 --> 00:16:04,611
‐ You could tell. I mean, you were very‐‐

341
00:16:04,611 --> 00:16:06,441
‐ Okay, enough shoptalk. Let's continue.

342
00:16:06,441 --> 00:16:08,531
‐ Okay. Bye.
TED: See you later.

343
00:16:08,531 --> 00:16:11,071
‐ And this is Sloane's room.

344
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,321
She's my eldest.

345
00:16:13,321 --> 00:16:14,741
‐ That's a lot of trophies.

346
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,081
‐ Yes.

347
00:16:16,081 --> 00:16:17,751
She was brilliant.

348
00:16:17,751 --> 00:16:19,461
She and her husband Eric‐‐

349
00:16:19,461 --> 00:16:22,331
he graduated top of his class at Yale‐‐

350
00:16:22,331 --> 00:16:25,041
were very successful attorneys,

351
00:16:25,041 --> 00:16:28,801
but they gave it all up
to raise their beautiful twins,

352
00:16:28,801 --> 00:16:32,591
and now they make gift baskets.

353
00:16:35,141 --> 00:16:36,681
Which is great.

354
00:16:36,681 --> 00:16:38,141
HARPER:
Mm‐hmm.

355
00:16:38,141 --> 00:16:40,731
‐ What'd I miss? [ panting ]

356
00:16:44,111 --> 00:16:45,771
‐ Wow.

357
00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:48,191
‐ [ sighs ] I know, right?

358
00:16:48,191 --> 00:16:50,031
Ugh, is it hot in here,

359
00:16:50,031 --> 00:16:51,781
or is it just him?
HARPER: Okay.

360
00:16:51,781 --> 00:16:53,451
‐ Yummy, yummy, yummy.
HARPER: Okay.

361
00:16:53,451 --> 00:16:55,781
‐ No. Jane. No.
‐ Num, num.

362
00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:57,291
HARPER:
Mom, I thought you were gonna

363
00:16:57,291 --> 00:16:59,001
turn this room into your office.

364
00:16:59,001 --> 00:17:01,251
‐ Men need offices, dear.

365
00:17:01,251 --> 00:17:05,671
Oh, that is Harper's old
high school boyfriend Connor!

366
00:17:05,671 --> 00:17:08,671
[ laughs ]
HARPER: I asked you to put this away.

367
00:17:08,671 --> 00:17:10,551
TIPPER:
You know, he's still single.

368
00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:12,511
HARPER: Okay, Mom, stop, please.
TIPPER: Mm.

369
00:17:12,511 --> 00:17:14,261
Do you have a boyfriend, Abby?

370
00:17:14,261 --> 00:17:15,341
‐ No.

371
00:17:15,341 --> 00:17:16,641
But I have.

372
00:17:16,641 --> 00:17:18,721
'Cause... I have had many.

373
00:17:18,721 --> 00:17:22,521
Um, but‐but not too many;
an‐an appropriate amount.

374
00:17:22,521 --> 00:17:24,561
I actually just went through a breakup.

375
00:17:24,561 --> 00:17:26,941
‐ Oh, no.
TIPPER: Abby.

376
00:17:26,941 --> 00:17:28,611
‐ [ sighs ] Yeah, with, um...

377
00:17:28,611 --> 00:17:31,191
He was a‐‐ He was a milk... man.

378
00:17:31,191 --> 00:17:34,071
‐ Okay, and I think
we'll just settle in now.

379
00:17:34,071 --> 00:17:37,741
‐ Okay. Well, we'll just
show Abby to her room.

380
00:17:37,741 --> 00:17:40,661
‐ What, is she not gonna
stay up here with me?

381
00:17:40,661 --> 00:17:44,921
‐ Harper, I would never ask
two grown women to share the same bed.

382
00:17:44,921 --> 00:17:46,831
[ laughing ]
‐ Harper.

383
00:17:46,831 --> 00:17:50,171
‐ No, A‐Abby will stay in Jane's old room.

384
00:17:50,171 --> 00:17:51,631
‐ Oh, oh, I could show it to her.
‐ Okay.

385
00:17:51,631 --> 00:17:52,841
‐ I could take her down. Yeah, let's go.

386
00:17:52,841 --> 00:17:55,181
‐ Settle down.
JANE: I'm settled!

387
00:17:55,181 --> 00:17:57,761
‐ Okay.
[ door closes ]

388
00:17:59,931 --> 00:18:01,311
‐ Oh.

389
00:18:01,311 --> 00:18:02,811
Your room's in the basement.

390
00:18:02,811 --> 00:18:04,311
‐ Oh, yeah. I had night terrors.

391
00:18:04,311 --> 00:18:07,651
They put me down here so I wouldn't
wake everyone up. [ chuckles ]

392
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:09,941
Behold. [ chuckles ]

393
00:18:12,151 --> 00:18:13,781
Cool, huh?

394
00:18:13,781 --> 00:18:15,031
‐ It's very cool.

395
00:18:15,031 --> 00:18:17,111
‐ It's my room.

396
00:18:17,111 --> 00:18:18,831
‐ Is everything okay?

397
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,201
‐ Yeah. Yeah. Really good.

398
00:18:20,201 --> 00:18:21,951
‐ No, not you. No.
‐ Oh.

399
00:18:21,951 --> 00:18:23,451
‐ Yeah.
TIPPER: Thank you, Jane.

400
00:18:23,451 --> 00:18:27,041
Why don't you go on home and rest up
a little bit before dinner?

401
00:18:27,041 --> 00:18:28,631
‐ Okay.
‐ [ chuckles ]

402
00:18:28,631 --> 00:18:30,801
‐ Don't have any fun
without me. [ laughs ]

403
00:18:30,801 --> 00:18:33,171
‐ Yeah.
JANE: Bye.

404
00:18:33,171 --> 00:18:35,511
‐ I'm sorry about all this mess.

405
00:18:35,511 --> 00:18:37,341
‐ What? No, this is so nice.

406
00:18:37,341 --> 00:18:39,931
‐ Better than your room at the orphanage?

407
00:18:39,931 --> 00:18:42,271
‐ Oh, I‐I wasn't in an orphanage,

408
00:18:42,271 --> 00:18:44,981
'cause I‐I was 19 when my parents died.

409
00:18:44,981 --> 00:18:47,231
‐ Oh. One of the lucky ones.

410
00:18:47,231 --> 00:18:48,401
‐ Well...

411
00:18:48,401 --> 00:18:50,311
TIPPER:
I'll let you settle in.

412
00:18:50,311 --> 00:18:52,481
We leave for dinner at 6:45.

413
00:18:52,481 --> 00:18:53,691
‐ Okay.

414
00:18:53,691 --> 00:18:55,781
‐ Oh, there's no lock on this door.

415
00:18:55,781 --> 00:18:58,031
We had it removed
because Jane was always scared

416
00:18:58,031 --> 00:19:00,531
that we would lock her in.

417
00:19:00,531 --> 00:19:02,701
But don't worry,
you'll have total privacy.

418
00:19:02,701 --> 00:19:04,501
‐ Okay. [ chuckles ] Thank you.

419
00:19:04,501 --> 00:19:06,001
‐ Okay.

420
00:19:07,041 --> 00:19:08,751
[ "Nothing Rhymes with Christmas"
by Ana Gasteyer playing ]

421
00:19:08,751 --> 00:19:12,341
♪ Nothing rhymes with Christmas ♪

422
00:19:12,341 --> 00:19:14,341
♪ Every poet knows... ♪

423
00:19:14,341 --> 00:19:15,761
JANE: Milady.
ABBY: Thank you.

424
00:19:16,801 --> 00:19:18,181
COLLEEN:
Is this all right?

425
00:19:18,181 --> 00:19:19,761
‐ This is perfect, Colleen. Thank you.

426
00:19:19,761 --> 00:19:22,311
‐ Oh, actually, I think we're
gonna need one more chair.

427
00:19:22,311 --> 00:19:23,601
COLLEEN:
I'll have one brought over.

428
00:19:23,601 --> 00:19:25,311
‐ Oh, who else is joining us?

429
00:19:25,311 --> 00:19:27,061
‐ Hey, guys. How's it going?

430
00:19:27,061 --> 00:19:29,901
‐ [ chuckling ] Connor!
How funny to see you here.

431
00:19:29,901 --> 00:19:31,151
‐ You told me to be here at 7:00, right?

432
00:19:31,151 --> 00:19:32,771
TIPPER: Shh. Oh, wow.
JANE: Hey.
CONNOR: How you doing?

433
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:34,361
TED:
Great to see you, Connor.

434
00:19:34,361 --> 00:19:35,401
‐ Hey, Ted. How you doing?
‐ Great.

435
00:19:35,401 --> 00:19:37,151
‐ Hi, Connor.
CONNOR: Hi, Jane.

436
00:19:37,151 --> 00:19:38,451
Hi. It's been a minute.
‐ Hi.

437
00:19:38,451 --> 00:19:39,611
‐ How are you?
‐ Yeah. Hey.

438
00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:41,621
‐ Connor, this is Harper's friend Abby.

439
00:19:41,621 --> 00:19:43,241
CONNOR: Oh, hey. Connor.
‐ Hey.
‐ She's an orphan.

440
00:19:43,241 --> 00:19:45,161
‐ Oh, um, I'm so sorry.
‐ Jane.

441
00:19:45,161 --> 00:19:46,411
CONNOR: I‐‐
‐ What?
‐ What are you doing?

442
00:19:46,411 --> 00:19:47,581
‐ She is.
‐ No, it's‐it's‐‐

443
00:19:47,581 --> 00:19:48,581
‐ It's all we have.

444
00:19:48,581 --> 00:19:49,791
TIPPER:
All right.

445
00:19:49,791 --> 00:19:51,421
Thank you. Let's all take a seat.

446
00:19:51,421 --> 00:19:53,421
‐ [ Harper sighing ]

447
00:19:56,011 --> 00:19:58,011
Do you want to switch?
‐ No.

448
00:19:58,011 --> 00:20:00,181
No, this is perfect.
‐ Okay.

449
00:20:00,181 --> 00:20:02,181
JANE: And then in the third chapter,
the Shadow Dreamers

450
00:20:02,181 --> 00:20:05,181
discover that the gemstone
that they thought was inside the gork

451
00:20:05,181 --> 00:20:08,351
was actually stolen by an evil floam,
which is sort of like a maggel

452
00:20:08,351 --> 00:20:10,141
but with less arms and more powers.

453
00:20:10,141 --> 00:20:11,441
‐ Oh, wow.

454
00:20:11,441 --> 00:20:12,861
That's amazing. It really is.

455
00:20:12,861 --> 00:20:15,021
‐ Jane, I just can't believe
you're still working on that book.

456
00:20:15,021 --> 00:20:16,071
It's been like ten years.

457
00:20:16,071 --> 00:20:17,691
‐ Takes a long time to build a world.

458
00:20:17,691 --> 00:20:21,201
‐ You know what I was
thinking about the other day?

459
00:20:21,201 --> 00:20:23,741
I was thinking about that trip

460
00:20:23,741 --> 00:20:26,291
that we took to our old house
in Jackson Hole

461
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:28,621
when Harper got chicken pox.
CONNOR: Oh, yeah.

462
00:20:28,621 --> 00:20:29,831
[ laughing ] Oh, God.

463
00:20:29,831 --> 00:20:31,211
‐ Harper told me this story.

464
00:20:31,211 --> 00:20:35,341
‐ Then you must know that
she very quickly gave it to Connor.

465
00:20:35,341 --> 00:20:36,631
‐ Yes, she did.
‐ [ laughter ]

466
00:20:36,631 --> 00:20:38,131
CONNOR: Very quickly.
TED: The two of them

467
00:20:38,131 --> 00:20:40,091
didn't leave the cabin for the whole trip,

468
00:20:40,091 --> 00:20:41,551
if I remember correctly.
CONNOR: No.
‐ Oh, my goodness.

469
00:20:41,551 --> 00:20:43,721
‐ Literally in a cabin running a fever.

470
00:20:43,721 --> 00:20:44,971
TED: Yeah.
‐ Together.

471
00:20:44,971 --> 00:20:46,811
‐ Together. Yep, yep.
TIPPER: Really laughing a lot.

472
00:20:46,811 --> 00:20:48,561
CONNOR:
It was ground zero for chicken pox.

473
00:20:48,561 --> 00:20:50,391
Yeah. God, that was fun.
You know, I really,

474
00:20:50,391 --> 00:20:51,941
really loved going on those trips.
‐ Fun.

475
00:20:51,941 --> 00:20:53,811
‐ Well, we loved having you, son.
TIPPER: That was lovely.

476
00:20:53,811 --> 00:20:55,271
‐ Should we go to the ladies' room?

477
00:20:55,271 --> 00:20:58,031
‐ Oh, I‐I would hate to miss
some of these stories.

478
00:20:58,031 --> 00:21:00,111
‐ No, we'll be quick.

479
00:21:03,361 --> 00:21:05,991
‐ [ chuckles ]
‐ I am so sorry.

480
00:21:05,991 --> 00:21:07,951
I had no idea he was gonna be here.

481
00:21:07,951 --> 00:21:09,411
I swear.

482
00:21:09,411 --> 00:21:11,371
‐ It's funny, I remember you
telling me that story.

483
00:21:11,371 --> 00:21:13,211
I think you just forgot
to mention that Connor

484
00:21:13,211 --> 00:21:15,041
was also there.
‐ [ sighs ] I know.

485
00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:18,961
I‐I don't know, he didn't seem like
an important part of the story.

486
00:21:18,961 --> 00:21:22,631
Look, I'm gonna talk to my mom,
and I'm gonna make sure that

487
00:21:22,631 --> 00:21:25,471
nothing like this happens
for the rest of the trip, okay?

488
00:21:27,011 --> 00:21:29,141
‐ You can be totally honest with me.

489
00:21:29,141 --> 00:21:30,561
Like, about anything.

490
00:21:30,561 --> 00:21:32,271
Seriously, I can take it.

491
00:21:33,311 --> 00:21:35,021
‐ Okay.

492
00:21:36,611 --> 00:21:39,111
Then you should know that
it is very difficult

493
00:21:39,111 --> 00:21:42,111
to sit next to you at dinner
and not be able to kiss you.

494
00:21:47,161 --> 00:21:48,871
‐ Yeah.

495
00:21:49,911 --> 00:21:51,751
‐ No more surprises.

496
00:21:51,751 --> 00:21:53,371
I promise.

497
00:21:57,791 --> 00:22:00,171
Riley.
RILEY: Mm.

498
00:22:00,171 --> 00:22:01,961
Harper.

499
00:22:02,971 --> 00:22:04,931
‐ Mm. Uh...

500
00:22:04,931 --> 00:22:06,591
‐ Sorry, um...

501
00:22:06,591 --> 00:22:08,101
Riley, this is Abby.

502
00:22:08,101 --> 00:22:09,971
Abby is my‐‐
‐ Orphan.

503
00:22:09,971 --> 00:22:11,391
Roommate. We‐‐

504
00:22:11,391 --> 00:22:13,351
I am an orphan, but we live together.

505
00:22:13,351 --> 00:22:14,641
As friends, um, like acquaintances.

506
00:22:14,641 --> 00:22:16,401
‐ Oh, please stop.
‐ Yeah.

507
00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:18,111
‐ Nice to meet you.

508
00:22:18,111 --> 00:22:20,191
So, I'm just gonna sneak on by you guys.

509
00:22:20,191 --> 00:22:21,401
‐ Oh, God. Sorry.

510
00:22:21,401 --> 00:22:23,321
Sorry. Just...

511
00:22:25,321 --> 00:22:26,951
‐ Was that the Riley?

512
00:22:26,951 --> 00:22:30,031
‐ Okay, that one really wasn't my fault.

513
00:22:30,031 --> 00:22:31,661
‐ Well, who knows, maybe...

514
00:22:31,661 --> 00:22:34,291
maybe another one of your exes
will bring out dessert.

515
00:22:34,291 --> 00:22:36,671
‐ Okay.
‐ Oh, my God.

516
00:22:36,671 --> 00:22:39,751
‐ Harper, did you see
that the Bennetts are here?

517
00:22:39,751 --> 00:22:40,881
HARPER:
Uh...

518
00:22:42,421 --> 00:22:44,011
Yeah. We just ran into Riley.

519
00:22:44,011 --> 00:22:45,931
‐ Did you hear she's doing
her residency at Johns Hopkins?

520
00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:47,801
‐ I should have her look at my mole.

521
00:22:47,801 --> 00:22:50,551
‐ No, um, I hadn't heard that.

522
00:22:50,551 --> 00:22:52,101
‐ It's very impressive.

523
00:22:52,101 --> 00:22:53,811
Her parents must be proud.

524
00:22:53,811 --> 00:22:55,351
And relieved.

525
00:22:55,351 --> 00:22:57,191
‐ I know. That lifestyle choice.

526
00:22:57,191 --> 00:22:59,561
[ Tipper chuckles ]
TED: Mm. Such a shame.

527
00:22:59,561 --> 00:23:00,651
‐ Abby, what do you do?

528
00:23:00,651 --> 00:23:05,571
‐ Oh, I'm‐I'm working on my PhD
in art history over at Carnegie Mellon.

529
00:23:05,571 --> 00:23:07,241
My parents were professors there,

530
00:23:07,241 --> 00:23:09,701
so I kind of wanted to follow
in their footsteps.

531
00:23:09,701 --> 00:23:11,781
‐ You know, before law school,

532
00:23:11,781 --> 00:23:15,501
I took all the money I had
and went to Paris for a month.

533
00:23:15,501 --> 00:23:17,791
Spent every day in museums.

534
00:23:17,791 --> 00:23:20,581
That experience made me the man I am.

535
00:23:20,581 --> 00:23:22,091
‐ That‐that must have been incredible.

536
00:23:22,091 --> 00:23:23,251
What a dream.

537
00:23:23,251 --> 00:23:25,341
‐ It was.

538
00:23:25,341 --> 00:23:27,881
Boy, Carnegie Mellon, huh?

539
00:23:27,881 --> 00:23:29,801
Bet you could teach me a thing or two.

540
00:23:29,801 --> 00:23:31,261
‐ [ chuckles ]
JANE: Should I go over there?

541
00:23:31,261 --> 00:23:32,391
TED:
No, darling, no.

542
00:23:32,391 --> 00:23:33,721
JANE:
I do think it's getting bigger.

543
00:23:33,721 --> 00:23:35,221
TIPPER: No.
TED: Stay at the table, Jane.

544
00:23:38,941 --> 00:23:40,061
[ knocking ]

545
00:23:42,111 --> 00:23:44,651
‐ Oh. You settling in okay?
ABBY: Hey.

546
00:23:44,651 --> 00:23:46,071
Yeah. Yeah.

547
00:23:46,071 --> 00:23:49,661
You're such a wonderful host,
so I'm great.

548
00:23:49,661 --> 00:23:51,281
‐ Thank you, Abby.

549
00:23:51,281 --> 00:23:52,531
Thank you.

550
00:23:52,531 --> 00:23:53,831
‐ Hi.
‐ Hi, sweetie.

551
00:23:53,831 --> 00:23:55,241
Do you need something?

552
00:23:55,241 --> 00:23:57,201
‐ No, just to say good night to Abby.

553
00:23:57,201 --> 00:23:58,911
‐ Oh.

554
00:24:00,621 --> 00:24:02,251
‐ Mom, do you mind?

555
00:24:02,251 --> 00:24:04,041
‐ Oh. [ laughs ]

556
00:24:04,041 --> 00:24:05,801
I get it. Girl talk.

557
00:24:05,801 --> 00:24:07,551
Okay, when you finish, um,

558
00:24:07,551 --> 00:24:09,631
I want to give you
a little early Christmas present.

559
00:24:09,631 --> 00:24:10,841
‐ Ooh, okay.

560
00:24:10,841 --> 00:24:12,431
‐ Night.
TIPPER: Night, Abby.

561
00:24:14,971 --> 00:24:16,721
‐ [ sighs ]

562
00:24:18,481 --> 00:24:20,481
Tonight wasn't the best.

563
00:24:20,481 --> 00:24:22,061
‐ Yeah.

564
00:24:22,061 --> 00:24:23,611
But we got through it.

565
00:24:23,611 --> 00:24:25,231
‐ You know, you're right.

566
00:24:25,231 --> 00:24:27,231
You are really good with parents.

567
00:24:27,231 --> 00:24:28,941
‐ You think they like me?

568
00:24:28,941 --> 00:24:30,651
‐ Definitely.

569
00:24:30,651 --> 00:24:33,701
‐ You think they like me
as much as they love Connor?

570
00:24:33,701 --> 00:24:36,081
‐ Oh, no. No, no.

571
00:24:36,081 --> 00:24:38,451
But they don't even really
like me that much, so...

572
00:24:38,451 --> 00:24:40,121
‐ [ laughing ] Oh.

573
00:24:40,121 --> 00:24:41,581
‐ [ Harper mutters ]

574
00:24:45,461 --> 00:24:47,461
I love you.
‐ I love you.

575
00:24:49,671 --> 00:24:51,681
[ chuckling ] Stop it.
‐ [ laughs ]

576
00:24:52,841 --> 00:24:55,051
JOHN:
The hell did it go?

577
00:24:55,051 --> 00:24:57,891
Cheap freaking puzzle.

578
00:24:57,891 --> 00:24:59,891
[ cell phone vibrating ]

579
00:24:59,891 --> 00:25:02,231
Yeah, Abby, I'm in the middle
of something right now.

580
00:25:02,231 --> 00:25:03,851
Is everything okay?
ABBY: Yeah.

581
00:25:03,851 --> 00:25:04,901
I'm just checking on the animals.

582
00:25:04,901 --> 00:25:05,901
JOHN:
Oh, they're all good.

583
00:25:05,901 --> 00:25:07,021
I walked the dog.

584
00:25:07,021 --> 00:25:08,281
Fed him, fed the cats.

585
00:25:08,281 --> 00:25:10,281
All are well.
ABBY: What about the fish?

586
00:25:11,321 --> 00:25:12,861
‐ Uh, the fish are‐‐ Yeah.

587
00:25:12,861 --> 00:25:15,241
The‐the‐the fish are‐are‐‐ Yes. Yeah.

588
00:25:15,241 --> 00:25:16,411
But enough about me.

589
00:25:16,411 --> 00:25:17,411
Have you managed

590
00:25:17,411 --> 00:25:21,961
to get a man's permission to take
ownership of an adult human woman yet?

591
00:25:21,961 --> 00:25:23,371
‐ Not exactly.

592
00:25:23,371 --> 00:25:24,791
‐ What's going on? You sound tense.

593
00:25:24,791 --> 00:25:26,291
ABBY:
No, I'm not tense. I'm great.

594
00:25:26,291 --> 00:25:28,301
There's just one tiny thing.

595
00:25:28,301 --> 00:25:29,961
Um...

596
00:25:31,761 --> 00:25:34,131
Harper isn't out, and her parents
don't know we're together.

597
00:25:34,131 --> 00:25:37,301
‐ Okay, you know what,
I always felt like something was off.

598
00:25:37,301 --> 00:25:39,221
You can't go over a year without meeting

599
00:25:39,221 --> 00:25:40,471
your significant other's parents.

600
00:25:40,471 --> 00:25:41,641
Trust me, I have tried.

601
00:25:41,641 --> 00:25:43,061
‐ I know, but it's not that big of a deal,

602
00:25:43,061 --> 00:25:45,401
'cause she does plan on telling them
immediately after the holidays.

603
00:25:45,401 --> 00:25:48,271
‐ So, what, her parents are believing
that their straight daughter

604
00:25:48,271 --> 00:25:51,441
brought home her lesbian friend
for Christmas?

605
00:25:51,441 --> 00:25:52,741
‐ No. [ scoffs ]

606
00:25:52,741 --> 00:25:56,161
No. They also think that I'm...

607
00:25:56,161 --> 00:25:58,281
that I'm straight.

608
00:25:58,281 --> 00:26:00,041
‐ Have they ever met a lesbian?

609
00:26:00,041 --> 00:26:01,331
‐ It's not so bad.

610
00:26:01,331 --> 00:26:03,251
It's kind of fun having a secret.

611
00:26:03,251 --> 00:26:04,871
‐ Yeah, I mean,
there's nothing more erotic

612
00:26:04,871 --> 00:26:06,711
than concealing your authentic selves.

613
00:26:06,711 --> 00:26:09,881
‐ I know it's not ideal. I‐‐

614
00:26:09,881 --> 00:26:12,421
But I‐I know that it's what
she needs right now, so...

615
00:26:20,471 --> 00:26:22,681
[ gasps ]

616
00:26:22,681 --> 00:26:24,141
‐ Who are you?

617
00:26:24,141 --> 00:26:26,231
‐ I'm Abby.

618
00:26:26,231 --> 00:26:27,941
‐ Do you work here?

619
00:26:27,941 --> 00:26:29,571
‐ No, I'm H‐Harper's friend.

620
00:26:29,571 --> 00:26:31,571
SLOANE:
Kids?

621
00:26:31,571 --> 00:26:33,151
Where are you?

622
00:26:33,151 --> 00:26:35,151
Hey.

623
00:26:35,151 --> 00:26:37,241
What are you doing in here? Out.

624
00:26:38,821 --> 00:26:40,741
MATILDA:
But that's our room.

625
00:26:40,741 --> 00:26:42,291
‐ Sorry about them. I'm Sloane.

626
00:26:42,291 --> 00:26:44,121
MATILDA:
Why does she get to sleep in there?

627
00:26:44,121 --> 00:26:46,871
‐ Hi. I'm...
SLOANE: Because she's a grown‐up, sweetie.

628
00:26:46,871 --> 00:26:48,541
‐ ...Abby.

629
00:26:48,541 --> 00:26:50,881
SLOANE: [ in distance ]
Come. We're having breakfast.

630
00:27:03,561 --> 00:27:04,891
‐ [ yawns ]

631
00:27:04,891 --> 00:27:06,481
‐ Are you tired?

632
00:27:06,481 --> 00:27:08,101
Not me. I like the morning.

633
00:27:08,101 --> 00:27:11,361
But then I have something meaningful
to get out of bed for, so...

634
00:27:11,361 --> 00:27:13,611
KIDS:
Thank you, Mommy.

635
00:27:13,611 --> 00:27:15,111
‐ Snowman pancakes.

636
00:27:15,111 --> 00:27:18,321
God, that's a lot of work for something
that's just gonna turn to shit.

637
00:27:18,321 --> 00:27:20,161
Oh, but that's kind of like
your law degree.

638
00:27:20,161 --> 00:27:22,241
‐ It must be freeing
to be so self‐involved

639
00:27:22,241 --> 00:27:24,241
you don't realize that's actually
not appropriate language

640
00:27:24,241 --> 00:27:25,451
to use in front of children.

641
00:27:25,451 --> 00:27:26,831
ERIC:
We got everything out of the van.

642
00:27:27,871 --> 00:27:29,171
‐ Thank you, honey.
‐ Mm‐hmm.

643
00:27:29,171 --> 00:27:31,251
‐ Oh, this is‐‐
‐ Abby. I'm Eric.

644
00:27:31,251 --> 00:27:32,711
‐ Nice to meet you.
ERIC: Mm‐hmm.

645
00:27:32,711 --> 00:27:36,301
A teaspoon of coconut oil‐‐
add some nice moisture to those hands.

646
00:27:36,301 --> 00:27:37,881
‐ Oh.

647
00:27:37,881 --> 00:27:39,221
Yeah, thank you.

648
00:27:42,391 --> 00:27:45,471
So, you and your sister
are pretty intense.

649
00:27:45,471 --> 00:27:47,851
‐ What do you mean?

650
00:27:47,851 --> 00:27:49,021
‐ Freeze!
ERIC: Ooh.

651
00:27:49,021 --> 00:27:52,691
‐ Don't move one more muscle
before I hug you!

652
00:27:52,691 --> 00:27:54,441
‐ Hi, Jane.
JANE: Oh. Oh, hi.

653
00:27:54,441 --> 00:27:55,901
‐ Oh. Yay.
‐ [ Jane laughs ]

654
00:27:55,901 --> 00:27:56,991
‐ [ Sloane clears throat ]

655
00:27:56,991 --> 00:27:58,951
JANE: Hi, Eric. Hi.
ERIC: Hi, Jane.

656
00:27:58,951 --> 00:28:01,821
‐ Hi, you guys. Hi.

657
00:28:01,821 --> 00:28:03,081
Um... [ chuckles ]

658
00:28:03,081 --> 00:28:04,741
Gosh, you're so big.

659
00:28:04,741 --> 00:28:06,701
What are you, college students?

660
00:28:06,701 --> 00:28:09,161
‐ We're in elementary school.

661
00:28:09,161 --> 00:28:11,291
‐ Yeah. No, I‐I know. I'm just‐‐

662
00:28:11,291 --> 00:28:13,381
You're just so tall, you know?

663
00:28:13,381 --> 00:28:14,921
‐ Here they are.
‐ My babies.

664
00:28:16,631 --> 00:28:19,051
Aw...

665
00:28:19,051 --> 00:28:21,091
‐ Hi, Daddy.
‐ Did you get Harper's article I sent you?

666
00:28:21,091 --> 00:28:22,971
SLOANE: I did.
TED: Good, right?

667
00:28:22,971 --> 00:28:24,141
‐ Mm. Mm‐hmm. Mm.
‐ Uh‐huh.

668
00:28:24,141 --> 00:28:25,891
ERIC: Ted.
‐ Eric.

669
00:28:25,891 --> 00:28:27,351
Good to see you.
SLOANE: Hi, Mom.

670
00:28:27,351 --> 00:28:28,521
TIPPER: [ chuckling ]
Hi.

671
00:28:28,521 --> 00:28:30,311
‐ Morning.
‐ Morning, Abby.

672
00:28:30,311 --> 00:28:32,861
Hey, girls, come here.
TIPPER: I'm good.
ERIC: Hi.

673
00:28:32,861 --> 00:28:34,311
‐ Just‐just‐just come over here.

674
00:28:34,311 --> 00:28:36,021
TIPPER: Just move a bit.
TED: I cannot believe

675
00:28:36,021 --> 00:28:39,281
I've got all my daughters under one roof.

676
00:28:39,281 --> 00:28:41,241
Mm, mm.
‐ This is great content.

677
00:28:41,241 --> 00:28:42,701
‐ Oh.
‐ Hold it. Hold it.

678
00:28:42,701 --> 00:28:43,701
‐ And smile.
TED: Hold on.

679
00:28:43,701 --> 00:28:45,491
JANE: Daddy.
‐ Uh‐huh. Uh‐huh.
‐ Got it.

680
00:28:45,491 --> 00:28:47,161
‐ Okay. I got to shower.

681
00:28:47,161 --> 00:28:49,161
Hey, big night tonight, girls.
‐ That's too much.

682
00:28:49,161 --> 00:28:50,831
‐ We're meeting a major donor
at the party.

683
00:28:50,831 --> 00:28:52,671
Harper, I need you to bring your A game.

684
00:28:52,671 --> 00:28:54,751
‐ Got it.
‐ Dad, do you need me to do anything?

685
00:28:54,751 --> 00:28:56,171
‐ Honey, no.

686
00:28:56,171 --> 00:28:59,091
You just bring that beautiful family
and show them off.

687
00:28:59,091 --> 00:29:00,511
Who knows?

688
00:29:00,511 --> 00:29:02,801
These might be the only
grandchildren we ever have.

689
00:29:02,801 --> 00:29:05,351
TIPPER:
And it is crucial that we take

690
00:29:05,351 --> 00:29:08,521
the family holiday photo
for the Instagram tonight,

691
00:29:08,521 --> 00:29:12,231
so don't wear anything
that will strobe, Jane.

692
00:29:12,231 --> 00:29:14,861
‐ [ Jane chuckles softly ]

693
00:29:14,861 --> 00:29:16,861
[ sighs ]

694
00:29:16,861 --> 00:29:18,481
Okay.

695
00:29:18,481 --> 00:29:21,571
Who's ready to go ice‐skating?

696
00:29:21,571 --> 00:29:23,781
Are you ready? [ chuckles ]
‐ No.

697
00:29:23,781 --> 00:29:25,781
♪ upbeat holiday music ♪

698
00:29:30,291 --> 00:29:32,501
‐ Let me know if you guys
need any more room.

699
00:29:32,501 --> 00:29:35,041
I can make myself real small.

700
00:29:36,081 --> 00:29:39,301
‐ So, Sloane and Eric,
you guys make gift baskets, right?

701
00:29:39,301 --> 00:29:40,631
‐ No.

702
00:29:40,631 --> 00:29:43,221
We create curated gift experiences

703
00:29:43,221 --> 00:29:45,641
inside of handmade reclaimed wood vessels.

704
00:29:45,641 --> 00:29:47,221
‐ Yeah, the vessels are gorgeous.

705
00:29:47,221 --> 00:29:48,221
She has impeccable taste.

706
00:29:48,221 --> 00:29:50,221
‐ Oh, no, honey, you have the eye.

707
00:29:50,221 --> 00:29:51,601
‐ Aw.
‐ Mm.

708
00:29:51,601 --> 00:29:52,941
‐ That sounds great.

709
00:29:52,941 --> 00:29:54,351
SLOANE:
Yeah, Gwynnie seems to think so.

710
00:29:54,351 --> 00:29:56,151
Paltrow. Goop picked us up,

711
00:29:56,151 --> 00:29:58,111
and sales have been
through the roof ever since.

712
00:29:59,151 --> 00:30:00,401
‐ [ Harper sighs ]

713
00:30:00,401 --> 00:30:02,781
‐ [ lively chatter ]

714
00:30:06,951 --> 00:30:08,121
HARPER:
Hey.

715
00:30:08,121 --> 00:30:09,491
‐ Hey.

716
00:30:09,491 --> 00:30:11,451
‐ Are you sure you're okay?
‐ Yeah.

717
00:30:11,451 --> 00:30:13,041
No, this is so fun.

718
00:30:13,041 --> 00:30:14,411
‐ Whoa.

719
00:30:14,411 --> 00:30:16,791
‐ Sloane, do you need a helper?

720
00:30:16,791 --> 00:30:19,421
‐ Please. I've always
skated circles around you.

721
00:30:19,421 --> 00:30:21,761
‐ [ chuckles ] That was in your youth.

722
00:30:21,761 --> 00:30:23,591
I mean, I've lapped you
like 12 times today.

723
00:30:23,591 --> 00:30:26,431
‐ Like I'm even trying.
‐ Like it would even matter.

724
00:30:26,431 --> 00:30:28,681
‐ 20 bucks says I can do
two laps in under a minute.

725
00:30:28,681 --> 00:30:30,261
‐ 50 bucks says I can do three.

726
00:30:30,261 --> 00:30:31,851
‐ Let's do it. Jane, time us.

727
00:30:31,851 --> 00:30:33,271
‐ Oh, I'm actually having fun just‐‐

728
00:30:33,271 --> 00:30:36,061
BOTH: Jane.
‐ Okay, fun. Yeah.

729
00:30:36,061 --> 00:30:37,851
No problem.

730
00:30:37,851 --> 00:30:40,271
♪ tense music ♪

731
00:30:41,401 --> 00:30:42,401
JANE:
Ready?

732
00:30:43,441 --> 00:30:45,401
Set.

733
00:30:45,401 --> 00:30:46,701
Go.
‐ [ both grunt ]

734
00:30:49,241 --> 00:30:50,161
‐ [ chuckles ]

735
00:30:51,241 --> 00:30:52,661
‐ Move!
‐ No!

736
00:30:52,661 --> 00:30:54,501
‐ I love it when they do this.

737
00:30:55,661 --> 00:30:57,041
ERIC: What are they doing?
‐ They're racing.

738
00:30:57,041 --> 00:30:58,331
‐ Ah, yeah.

739
00:30:58,331 --> 00:31:01,131
‐ Jane, time!
‐ Oh, I forgot to press start.

740
00:31:01,131 --> 00:31:03,131
How long do you guys think‐‐
‐ Don't‐don't tell them that.

741
00:31:03,131 --> 00:31:04,761
‐ You need to take a break yet, Sloane?

742
00:31:04,761 --> 00:31:05,881
‐ Huh, maybe you should just

743
00:31:05,881 --> 00:31:07,511
worry about yourself.
‐ Oh, yeah?

744
00:31:08,221 --> 00:31:09,761
[ yelps ]
‐ [ man grunts ]

745
00:31:09,761 --> 00:31:11,011
‐ Oh!
‐ Ooh.

746
00:31:11,011 --> 00:31:12,311
‐ [ chuckles ]

747
00:31:12,311 --> 00:31:14,271
[ yelps, screams ]
‐ [ man grunts ]

748
00:31:14,271 --> 00:31:15,731
‐ Mm.
‐ Ow.

749
00:31:15,731 --> 00:31:17,061
ABBY:
Should we stop them?

750
00:31:17,061 --> 00:31:19,271
ERIC: No, they'll
tire themselves out eventually.

751
00:31:19,271 --> 00:31:20,311
‐ [ laughing ] Yeah. That's right.

752
00:31:20,311 --> 00:31:21,481
‐ That's the way it goes.
HARPER: Whoo!

753
00:31:21,481 --> 00:31:22,901
Get off me!

754
00:31:22,901 --> 00:31:24,321
‐ I love you guys. I love you.

755
00:31:24,321 --> 00:31:25,781
HARPER:
No! You're such a cheater!

756
00:31:25,781 --> 00:31:27,701
‐ Stop it! [ shouts ]
‐ You stop it!

757
00:31:27,701 --> 00:31:29,031
‐ ...a little restless.
‐ They're gonna need to turn around.

758
00:31:29,031 --> 00:31:30,621
‐ Look, some of us were here
when you said to be here.

759
00:31:30,621 --> 00:31:32,531
‐ Jane, is that‐‐
That's what you're wearing, right?
‐ Yeah.

760
00:31:32,531 --> 00:31:34,411
TIPPER:
All right. Harper!

761
00:31:34,411 --> 00:31:36,791
Eric, can you make them be still?

762
00:31:36,791 --> 00:31:38,621
‐ Wow.

763
00:31:38,621 --> 00:31:40,381
‐ It's my early Christmas present.

764
00:31:40,381 --> 00:31:42,541
TIPPER:
Harper, please come here.

765
00:31:42,541 --> 00:31:43,801
‐ Honey, we're very late.

766
00:31:43,801 --> 00:31:45,761
‐ Ted, the family holiday photo

767
00:31:45,761 --> 00:31:48,181
is an essential element
of every candidate's feed,

768
00:31:48,181 --> 00:31:51,011
and if we cannot manage to post one,

769
00:31:51,011 --> 00:31:53,721
we do not deserve to have
that account at all.

770
00:31:53,721 --> 00:31:55,061
TED: All right. Up, up, up, kids.
‐ That is so true.

771
00:31:55,061 --> 00:31:56,271
TIPPER: Jane, get out of the middle.
‐ Come on, Matilda.

772
00:31:56,271 --> 00:31:57,641
‐ Oh.
SLOANE: You have to stand, honey.

773
00:31:57,641 --> 00:31:59,601
TIPPER:
Abby, would you mind taking that?

774
00:31:59,601 --> 00:32:01,271
‐ Yeah, not at all.
‐ Oh, thank you.

775
00:32:01,271 --> 00:32:04,071
‐ Okay, here we go. Here we go.
‐ Around and face this way.

776
00:32:04,071 --> 00:32:05,481
Thank you.
‐ Okay.

777
00:32:05,481 --> 00:32:07,821
‐ Everyone say, "Christmas."

778
00:32:07,821 --> 00:32:09,241
‐ No, don't say that.

779
00:32:09,241 --> 00:32:10,571
Just smile.

780
00:32:10,571 --> 00:32:12,571
[ camera clicking ]

781
00:32:12,571 --> 00:32:14,281
‐ Okay.
‐ [ Tipper chuckling ]

782
00:32:14,281 --> 00:32:16,331
Ah, good. I can't wait.

783
00:32:16,331 --> 00:32:19,251
Blurry. Boring.

784
00:32:19,251 --> 00:32:20,961
Nope. Nope. Nope.

785
00:32:20,961 --> 00:32:22,881
Okay, none of these will do.

786
00:32:22,881 --> 00:32:25,751
Uh, we will try again tomorrow.

787
00:32:25,751 --> 00:32:27,841
Thank you.
HARPER: Where's Abby?

788
00:32:27,841 --> 00:32:29,841
♪ upbeat holiday music ♪

789
00:32:31,891 --> 00:32:33,891
‐ [ quiet chatter ]

790
00:32:46,231 --> 00:32:48,611
‐ Ted, Tipper. [ laughs, squeals ]

791
00:32:48,611 --> 00:32:50,701
Oh, I'm so glad you made it.

792
00:32:50,701 --> 00:32:52,911
Oh, mwah. Oh.
‐ Carolyn, you are a vision.

793
00:32:52,911 --> 00:32:54,701
TIPPER: Gorgeous dress.
TED: Mwah.

794
00:32:54,701 --> 00:32:57,291
Uh, you remember my daughters
Harper, Jane and Sloane.

795
00:32:57,291 --> 00:32:58,541
Sloane's husband Eric.

796
00:32:58,541 --> 00:33:00,541
Their children Matilda and Magnus.

797
00:33:00,541 --> 00:33:02,871
And this is Harper's friend Abby.

798
00:33:02,871 --> 00:33:05,171
CAROLYN:
Charmed. This is my assistant Levi.

799
00:33:05,171 --> 00:33:08,801
Though, truth be told, in a few years,
we'll probably all be working for him.

800
00:33:08,801 --> 00:33:10,341
‐ [ laughs ] Oh, you're too kind.

801
00:33:10,341 --> 00:33:11,841
‐ Oh.
‐ Is the white whale here?

802
00:33:11,841 --> 00:33:13,261
‐ Ah, indeed. Let me take you over.

803
00:33:13,261 --> 00:33:15,391
‐ Oh, Harper, come with us.

804
00:33:15,391 --> 00:33:16,811
Uh, Jane, uh, uh, keep Abby company.

805
00:33:16,811 --> 00:33:18,521
‐ You got it.
‐ Dad, should I come, too?

806
00:33:18,521 --> 00:33:20,271
‐ I'll come right back.
‐ Okay.
TED: N‐No, honey.

807
00:33:20,271 --> 00:33:22,351
Just, uh, enjoy yourself.
‐ Great.

808
00:33:22,351 --> 00:33:23,731
CAROLYN:
Now, Harry's tough.

809
00:33:23,731 --> 00:33:24,981
Don't let her throw you.

810
00:33:24,981 --> 00:33:26,821
‐ I'm gonna take the twins
to the kids' club.

811
00:33:26,821 --> 00:33:28,151
Please order me several drinks.

812
00:33:28,151 --> 00:33:29,191
‐ Yeah.

813
00:33:29,191 --> 00:33:30,491
‐ Come on, you guys.

814
00:33:30,491 --> 00:33:32,071
Let's go play.

815
00:33:32,071 --> 00:33:34,201
JANE:
Okay. Well...

816
00:33:34,201 --> 00:33:36,451
looks like it's just us ladies.

817
00:33:36,451 --> 00:33:38,871
Now, I don't know about you,
but I am single

818
00:33:38,871 --> 00:33:41,461
and ready to mingle, so...

819
00:33:42,871 --> 00:33:45,131
CAROLYN:
Harry.

820
00:33:45,131 --> 00:33:47,791
This is‐‐
‐ Ted Caldwell.

821
00:33:47,791 --> 00:33:50,051
‐ Ms. Levin, it is an honor.
‐ [ Harry chuckles ]

822
00:33:50,051 --> 00:33:51,841
‐ I am gonna leave you two
to get acquainted.

823
00:33:51,841 --> 00:33:52,971
‐ Okay. Thank you.

824
00:33:52,971 --> 00:33:54,631
This is my husband Scott.

825
00:33:54,631 --> 00:33:56,681
We met on Bumble. [ chuckles ]
TED: Pleasure.

826
00:33:56,681 --> 00:33:58,311
And, uh, this is my wife Tipper.

827
00:33:58,311 --> 00:34:00,021
My daughter Harper, who writes for the‐‐

828
00:34:00,021 --> 00:34:01,431
‐ Pittsburgh Post‐Gazette.

829
00:34:01,431 --> 00:34:02,811
HARPER: Yes.
‐ Yes, I'm familiar.

830
00:34:02,811 --> 00:34:04,311
‐ You've read her work?

831
00:34:04,311 --> 00:34:06,271
‐ Yes.

832
00:34:08,981 --> 00:34:11,281
♪ lively jazz music ♪

833
00:34:11,281 --> 00:34:13,951
‐ Hey, could I get a vodka neat?

834
00:34:13,951 --> 00:34:15,661
Thanks.

835
00:34:19,031 --> 00:34:20,041
‐ You're new.

836
00:34:21,791 --> 00:34:24,871
‐ Yeah, I'm just visiting.
‐ From where?

837
00:34:24,871 --> 00:34:27,041
‐ I'm really not interested
in meeting anyone tonight, so‐‐

838
00:34:27,041 --> 00:34:28,341
‐ I am.

839
00:34:29,541 --> 00:34:31,381
CAROLYN:
Oh, I'll have to check out Goop.

840
00:34:31,381 --> 00:34:33,381
Was that‐‐ When was that one, again?

841
00:34:33,381 --> 00:34:36,681
‐ [ quiet, indistinct chatter ]

842
00:34:48,441 --> 00:34:50,071
‐ Are you enjoying the party?

843
00:34:50,071 --> 00:34:52,231
‐ Yeah.

844
00:34:52,231 --> 00:34:53,861
SLOANE:
That's great.

845
00:34:53,861 --> 00:34:56,741
If my friend ditched me at a party
where I didn't know anyone,

846
00:34:56,741 --> 00:34:58,531
I probably wouldn't have a good time.

847
00:34:58,531 --> 00:34:59,701
‐ Oh, no, sh‐she didn't ditch me.

848
00:34:59,701 --> 00:35:00,991
No, she's just helping your dad.

849
00:35:00,991 --> 00:35:03,291
‐ Yeah, she's very helpful.

850
00:35:04,791 --> 00:35:07,501
So, how long have you
and Harper been roommates?

851
00:35:07,501 --> 00:35:09,751
‐ I moved in like six months ago.

852
00:35:09,751 --> 00:35:11,341
‐ You moved in to her place?

853
00:35:11,341 --> 00:35:12,461
‐ Mm‐hmm.

854
00:35:12,461 --> 00:35:14,301
‐ Isn't it a one‐bedroom?

855
00:35:14,301 --> 00:35:16,011
‐ Technically, yes.

856
00:35:16,011 --> 00:35:17,471
Yeah, well, it was a one‐bedroom,

857
00:35:17,471 --> 00:35:20,301
and‐and now that we have
converted the pantry

858
00:35:20,301 --> 00:35:23,011
i‐into my bedroom, it's a two‐bedroom.

859
00:35:23,011 --> 00:35:25,231
Um, it's really spacious
in there, and it's‐‐

860
00:35:25,231 --> 00:35:27,101
‐ I don't want to have
this conversation anymore.

861
00:35:27,101 --> 00:35:28,731
‐ No problem.

862
00:35:30,111 --> 00:35:32,151
‐ Being mayor is no small task.

863
00:35:32,151 --> 00:35:35,781
However, it's a task I am not only up for
but eager to take on.

864
00:35:35,781 --> 00:35:37,401
HARRY:
I'm gonna stop you right there.

865
00:35:37,401 --> 00:35:39,321
I have a perfect record.

866
00:35:39,321 --> 00:35:40,741
And do you know why?

867
00:35:40,741 --> 00:35:42,531
Because I do my homework.

868
00:35:42,531 --> 00:35:44,541
Last election, I almost backed Dave Grady.

869
00:35:44,541 --> 00:35:46,791
‐ Dave Grady? Didn't his son‐‐

870
00:35:46,791 --> 00:35:48,671
‐ Get arrested
for exotic animal smuggling?

871
00:35:48,671 --> 00:35:49,791
Yes.

872
00:35:49,791 --> 00:35:54,131
I'm telling you this
because I'm not just looking at you.

873
00:35:54,131 --> 00:35:55,461
This is a family affair.

874
00:35:55,461 --> 00:35:57,551
‐ Well, I can assure you,

875
00:35:57,551 --> 00:36:01,221
this family has nothing to hide.

876
00:36:04,011 --> 00:36:06,391
♪ upbeat jazz music ♪

877
00:36:11,941 --> 00:36:13,611
‐ Hey.
‐ Hey. Hey.

878
00:36:13,611 --> 00:36:15,441
‐ Hi. Can I have a sip of your drink?

879
00:36:15,441 --> 00:36:17,441
‐ Yeah, of course.
‐ Thank you.

880
00:36:18,741 --> 00:36:20,031
Mm.
‐ You okay?

881
00:36:20,031 --> 00:36:21,241
‐ Mm‐hmm.

882
00:36:21,241 --> 00:36:23,241
I just needed a bit of a breather.

883
00:36:23,241 --> 00:36:24,581
Thank you.

884
00:36:24,581 --> 00:36:25,831
KELLY:
Harper?

885
00:36:25,831 --> 00:36:27,121
HARPER: Mm!
‐ [ squealing ]

886
00:36:27,121 --> 00:36:28,581
ASHLEY:
Hi!

887
00:36:28,581 --> 00:36:29,961
‐ [ laughing ] Hi.

888
00:36:29,961 --> 00:36:31,671
You look incredible.

889
00:36:31,671 --> 00:36:33,751
‐ As always.
‐ Oh, my God.

890
00:36:33,751 --> 00:36:35,801
‐ [ exhales sharply ] You, too. God, guys.

891
00:36:35,801 --> 00:36:38,801
Oh, um, this is my roommate Abby.

892
00:36:38,801 --> 00:36:40,761
And this is Kelly and Ashley.

893
00:36:40,761 --> 00:36:42,341
KELLY: Oh, lovely to meet you.
‐ Yes.

894
00:36:42,341 --> 00:36:44,301
Nice to meet you, too.
CONNOR: Hey, you guys.

895
00:36:44,301 --> 00:36:45,891
Wow.

896
00:36:45,891 --> 00:36:48,141
God, sorry, just seeing the three of you
standing next to each other

897
00:36:48,141 --> 00:36:49,681
takes me right back to high school.

898
00:36:49,681 --> 00:36:51,981
Minus the bad cafeteria food.

899
00:36:51,981 --> 00:36:54,651
‐ [ laughing loudly ]

900
00:36:55,821 --> 00:36:57,691
You're so funny.

901
00:36:57,691 --> 00:36:59,531
‐ Uh, Harper, can I talk
to you for a second?

902
00:36:59,531 --> 00:37:01,531
HARPER:
Um, yeah.

903
00:37:01,531 --> 00:37:03,781
I'll just be a sec.

904
00:37:03,781 --> 00:37:06,161
‐ Am I crazy, or did you have
absolutely no idea

905
00:37:06,161 --> 00:37:07,661
I was coming to dinner last night?

906
00:37:07,661 --> 00:37:09,581
‐ It was a surprise.
‐ Yeah.

907
00:37:09,581 --> 00:37:11,211
Yeah, I thought so.

908
00:37:11,211 --> 00:37:13,961
Um, sorry about that.
‐ It's not you.

909
00:37:13,961 --> 00:37:16,341
‐ But, actually,
I'd love to do... that again.

910
00:37:16,341 --> 00:37:19,131
Like, hang out again, if you got time.

911
00:37:19,131 --> 00:37:22,551
‐ That sounds so nice, and, um...

912
00:37:22,551 --> 00:37:26,051
and I just don't know, uh,
'cause it's so busy and‐‐

913
00:37:26,051 --> 00:37:27,101
‐ Yeah. Totally got it.
HARPER: Mm‐hmm.

914
00:37:27,101 --> 00:37:28,141
‐ No pressure.
HARPER: Yeah.

915
00:37:28,141 --> 00:37:30,481
‐ But that being said, if you, you know,

916
00:37:30,481 --> 00:37:32,981
and‐and your roommate want
to get out and hang out,

917
00:37:32,981 --> 00:37:34,401
that'd be great.
‐ Abby. Yeah.

918
00:37:34,401 --> 00:37:36,061
CONNOR:
Abby. Yeah. Absolutely.

919
00:37:36,061 --> 00:37:38,821
‐ Hey, if she doesn't
sleep with him, then I will.

920
00:37:38,821 --> 00:37:41,861
[ giggling ]

921
00:37:41,861 --> 00:37:44,281
I'm just kidding. I would never.

922
00:37:44,281 --> 00:37:46,661
‐ He's definitely still into her.

923
00:37:46,661 --> 00:37:48,281
‐ I know.

924
00:37:48,281 --> 00:37:50,291
[ cell phone vibrating ]

925
00:37:51,411 --> 00:37:53,541
‐ [ sighs ] I should...

926
00:37:53,541 --> 00:37:55,501
take this.

927
00:37:55,501 --> 00:37:56,671
Hello?

928
00:37:56,671 --> 00:37:58,091
JOHN:
Did you know that you're standing

929
00:37:58,091 --> 00:37:59,921
in a country club
that didn't let women have

930
00:37:59,921 --> 00:38:02,261
their own memberships
until the early 2000s?

931
00:38:02,261 --> 00:38:03,931
‐ How do you know that?

932
00:38:03,931 --> 00:38:05,891
‐ Um, I might be tracking you,

933
00:38:05,891 --> 00:38:07,891
but it's for your own safety, clearly.

934
00:38:07,891 --> 00:38:08,891
‐ What‐what do you want?

935
00:38:08,891 --> 00:38:11,641
‐ I want you to break out of that closet.
[ camera clicks ]

936
00:38:11,641 --> 00:38:13,101
‐ I am not in the closet.

937
00:38:13,101 --> 00:38:14,691
I told you, Harper's gonna
tell her parents everything

938
00:38:14,691 --> 00:38:15,691
right after the holidays.

939
00:38:15,691 --> 00:38:17,611
‐ You deserve to be with someone

940
00:38:17,611 --> 00:38:21,111
who shouts their love for you
from the rooftops.

941
00:38:21,111 --> 00:38:22,531
‐ That's very sweet.
[ toilet flushes over phone ]

942
00:38:22,531 --> 00:38:24,241
‐ So stop being a doormat, you fool.

943
00:38:24,241 --> 00:38:26,491
‐ Did you need something,
or did you just call to shame me?

944
00:38:26,491 --> 00:38:27,781
‐ I'm not shaming you.

945
00:38:27,781 --> 00:38:29,081
I just think the choice
you're making is dumb

946
00:38:29,081 --> 00:38:30,661
and you should feel bad
about it and yourself.

947
00:38:30,661 --> 00:38:33,661
Also, I am loving these fish.

948
00:38:34,711 --> 00:38:38,041
If I wanted to buy
the exact same one for myself,

949
00:38:38,041 --> 00:38:40,801
where‐where do you think I would do that?

950
00:38:40,801 --> 00:38:42,011
‐ What?

951
00:38:42,011 --> 00:38:43,841
JOHN:
You know what, I think I should google it.

952
00:38:43,841 --> 00:38:45,131
I'm gonna google it. Thanks.

953
00:38:51,971 --> 00:38:53,641
‐ Hey.

954
00:38:53,641 --> 00:38:55,771
‐ Oh, hey. Hey.

955
00:39:00,481 --> 00:39:02,531
‐ How's it going?
‐ Great.

956
00:39:02,531 --> 00:39:08,031
‐ I was just taking a break from
diagnosing everyone's mystery illnesses.

957
00:39:08,031 --> 00:39:09,781
‐ [ Abby chuckles ]

958
00:39:09,781 --> 00:39:12,331
‐ Hey, I wasn't trying
to eavesdrop or anything.

959
00:39:12,331 --> 00:39:14,451
I was out there before you came out.

960
00:39:14,451 --> 00:39:17,121
You didn't see me, but, um...

961
00:39:18,581 --> 00:39:20,881
I can relate.

962
00:39:20,881 --> 00:39:22,881
‐ Like, to what?

963
00:39:27,051 --> 00:39:28,301
‐ Nothing.

964
00:39:28,301 --> 00:39:29,391
[ clears throat ]

965
00:39:29,391 --> 00:39:31,101
Nothing. [ inhales deeply ]

966
00:39:31,101 --> 00:39:33,221
[ sighs ] Okay. I'm gonna go back inside.

967
00:39:34,601 --> 00:39:39,021
I'm sure my mother's hairdresser
wants to show me her weird finger again.

968
00:39:39,021 --> 00:39:41,021
‐ [ chuckles ]
‐ So...

969
00:39:42,151 --> 00:39:43,901
I like your jacket. [ sighs ]

970
00:39:44,901 --> 00:39:47,201
Okay. [ shivers ]

971
00:39:49,321 --> 00:39:52,581
[ applause, cheering ]
‐ Thank you. Thank you so much.

972
00:39:52,581 --> 00:39:55,911
Will you all please join me in welcoming

973
00:39:55,911 --> 00:40:00,541
my dear, dear friend,
Councilman Ted Caldwell.

974
00:40:00,541 --> 00:40:02,341
‐ [ cheering ]

975
00:40:04,091 --> 00:40:06,131
TED:
Thank you so much. Thank you.

976
00:40:06,131 --> 00:40:08,051
Isn't this the best time of year?

977
00:40:08,051 --> 00:40:09,511
I mean, really.

978
00:40:09,511 --> 00:40:11,471
I know we're all having
a great time tonight,

979
00:40:11,471 --> 00:40:13,301
so I will be brief.

980
00:40:13,301 --> 00:40:15,681
I've accomplished a lot in my life,

981
00:40:15,681 --> 00:40:18,101
and serving you on the city council

982
00:40:18,101 --> 00:40:22,861
is right up there
with my most rewarding life experiences.

983
00:40:22,861 --> 00:40:25,151
But I'm ready for more.

984
00:40:25,151 --> 00:40:26,361
‐ [ cheering ]

985
00:40:26,361 --> 00:40:29,321
TED:
These are turbulent times,

986
00:40:29,321 --> 00:40:33,371
and the way I can ensure
depravity doesn't seep in

987
00:40:33,371 --> 00:40:35,951
through the cracks of our community

988
00:40:35,951 --> 00:40:40,041
is by making sure there are no cracks.

989
00:40:40,041 --> 00:40:42,041
‐ [ cheering ]
‐ No cracks!

990
00:40:44,291 --> 00:40:48,761
TED: Look, our foundation is built
on family, tradition and faith,

991
00:40:48,761 --> 00:40:54,221
and that is the only way
we will keep safe and strong.

992
00:40:54,221 --> 00:40:56,311
I have loved being your city councilman,

993
00:40:56,311 --> 00:40:58,471
and I can't wait to be your mayor.

994
00:40:58,471 --> 00:40:59,771
Merry Christmas.

995
00:40:59,771 --> 00:41:01,561
‐ [ cheering ]

996
00:41:01,561 --> 00:41:03,561
[ camera clicking rapidly ]

997
00:41:05,731 --> 00:41:07,731
♪ holiday music ♪

998
00:41:14,161 --> 00:41:15,411
[ cell phone chimes ]

999
00:41:25,081 --> 00:41:27,301
[ camera clicks ]

1000
00:41:27,301 --> 00:41:28,961
[ phone chimes ]

1001
00:41:32,841 --> 00:41:34,471
[ phone chimes ]

1002
00:41:40,931 --> 00:41:43,021
‐ [ chuckles softly ]

1003
00:41:44,061 --> 00:41:47,071
TED: [ on video ]
...the way I can ensure depravity

1004
00:41:47,071 --> 00:41:50,321
doesn't seep in through
the cracks of our community

1005
00:41:50,321 --> 00:41:53,491
is by making sure there are no cracks.

1006
00:41:53,491 --> 00:41:56,411
‐ [ cheering on video ]

1007
00:41:56,411 --> 00:41:57,991
[ distant door closes ]

1008
00:41:57,991 --> 00:41:59,791
TED: [on video]
Look, our foundation is built

1009
00:41:59,791 --> 00:42:03,211
on family, tradition and faith,

1010
00:42:03,211 --> 00:42:08,291
and that is the only way
we will keep safe and strong.

1011
00:42:11,801 --> 00:42:13,801
[ TV playing indistinctly ]

1012
00:42:15,971 --> 00:42:17,761
MAN: [ on TV ]
Um, for the chicken breast,

1013
00:42:17,761 --> 00:42:22,021
we were looking at a quarter cup of honey,
and remember to use local honey...

1014
00:42:22,021 --> 00:42:24,391
[ footsteps ]
[ TV continues indistinctly ]

1015
00:42:33,861 --> 00:42:35,151
‐ [ sighs ]

1016
00:42:35,151 --> 00:42:36,701
[ footsteps passing ]

1017
00:42:39,281 --> 00:42:40,831
[ phone chimes ]

1018
00:42:44,081 --> 00:42:45,291
‐ [ gasps ]

1019
00:42:47,171 --> 00:42:49,131
‐ Whoa.
[ whirring ]

1020
00:42:49,131 --> 00:42:50,251
Shit. Shit!

1021
00:42:51,091 --> 00:42:52,591
Come on. Come on.

1022
00:42:52,591 --> 00:42:54,671
Nope. Shut up, shut up. Oh, no.

1023
00:42:56,801 --> 00:42:59,051
[ clattering ]

1024
00:42:59,051 --> 00:43:00,561
Oh!
‐ [ screams ]

1025
00:43:00,561 --> 00:43:04,231
Abby, what are you doing in the closet?

1026
00:43:04,231 --> 00:43:07,521
‐ I‐‐ Well, I guess
I must have been sleepwalking.

1027
00:43:07,521 --> 00:43:09,521
‐ Oh, that is very dangerous.

1028
00:43:09,521 --> 00:43:11,521
I once took too many Ambien,

1029
00:43:11,521 --> 00:43:13,651
and I bought a racehorse online.

1030
00:43:13,651 --> 00:43:15,031
ABBY: Oh.
TIPPER: Okay.

1031
00:43:15,031 --> 00:43:16,611
You need to go back downstairs, Abby.

1032
00:43:16,611 --> 00:43:18,111
‐ Okay.
‐ Carefully.

1033
00:43:18,111 --> 00:43:19,571
ABBY: Yeah, uh‐‐
‐ Are you all right to do that?

1034
00:43:19,571 --> 00:43:21,281
ABBY:
Yeah. Oh, gosh, my phone, too.

1035
00:43:21,281 --> 00:43:23,831
God, I‐I was in such a daze.
TIPPER: I'll get all this.

1036
00:43:23,831 --> 00:43:24,871
ABBY: Okay.
‐ Go on.

1037
00:43:24,871 --> 00:43:25,871
ABBY:
Um, I‐I was‐‐

1038
00:43:25,871 --> 00:43:27,421
‐ Do you want me to come with you?

1039
00:43:27,421 --> 00:43:28,501
ABBY:
No, thank you.

1040
00:43:28,501 --> 00:43:29,631
I'm sorry about this.

1041
00:43:31,251 --> 00:43:32,631
[ gasps ]
‐ [ Harper growls playfully ]

1042
00:43:32,631 --> 00:43:35,131
‐ Oh, my God. [ laughs ]

1043
00:43:35,131 --> 00:43:37,431
How did you get down here?

1044
00:43:37,431 --> 00:43:39,391
‐ When I saw that mess upstairs,

1045
00:43:39,391 --> 00:43:41,891
I knew my mom would be busy
for the next two hours.

1046
00:43:41,891 --> 00:43:43,561
‐ What do you want to do for two hours?

1047
00:43:43,561 --> 00:43:45,521
‐ I don't know.
‐ Hmm.

1048
00:43:53,571 --> 00:43:55,571
[ birds chirping ]

1049
00:44:05,501 --> 00:44:07,121
HARPER:
Mm.

1050
00:44:08,621 --> 00:44:10,331
[ footsteps in hall ]

1051
00:44:10,331 --> 00:44:12,341
[ knocking ]
‐ [ both gasp ]

1052
00:44:12,341 --> 00:44:14,301
TIPPER: Abby?
‐ Shit.

1053
00:44:14,301 --> 00:44:15,711
Fuck.

1054
00:44:15,711 --> 00:44:17,171
TIPPER:
Abby, honey, are you okay?

1055
00:44:17,171 --> 00:44:19,131
‐ Uh‐huh. I'm‐I'm‐I'm okay.

1056
00:44:19,131 --> 00:44:21,051
‐ [ whispers ]
I can't believe I fell asleep.

1057
00:44:21,051 --> 00:44:23,811
TIPPER: Um, I think there's
something against the door.

1058
00:44:23,811 --> 00:44:25,811
ABBY:
Um, I'm just moving it right now.

1059
00:44:25,811 --> 00:44:27,021
Sorry. It's heavy.

1060
00:44:28,101 --> 00:44:29,141
Morning.

1061
00:44:29,141 --> 00:44:31,101
‐ Why did you block the door?

1062
00:44:31,101 --> 00:44:33,611
‐ I‐I didn't want to sleepwalk again.

1063
00:44:35,111 --> 00:44:37,281
‐ Well, sorry to barge in.

1064
00:44:37,281 --> 00:44:39,401
The twins usually stay down here.

1065
00:44:39,401 --> 00:44:41,321
I'm just getting them Jane's old Game Boy.

1066
00:44:41,321 --> 00:44:42,451
‐ Morning, kids.

1067
00:44:42,451 --> 00:44:44,621
‐ Morning.
TED: Abby.

1068
00:44:44,621 --> 00:44:46,911
Uh, honey, I'm headed to the office,
but I wanted to let you know

1069
00:44:46,911 --> 00:44:50,541
I have invited Harry Levin and her husband
to our Christmas Eve party.

1070
00:44:51,581 --> 00:44:52,631
‐ What?

1071
00:44:52,631 --> 00:44:53,711
TED:
Well, you heard what she said.

1072
00:44:53,711 --> 00:44:56,631
‐ [ Tipper sighs ]
TED: It's not just about me.

1073
00:44:56,631 --> 00:44:58,461
It's about our whole family.

1074
00:44:58,461 --> 00:45:01,051
And what is a better
representation of our family

1075
00:45:01,051 --> 00:45:04,351
than your Christmas Eve party?

1076
00:45:05,391 --> 00:45:07,221
‐ It is legendary.

1077
00:45:08,721 --> 00:45:09,981
TED: Mwah!
‐ [ Tipper sighs ]

1078
00:45:09,981 --> 00:45:11,891
TED: Have a good day.
‐ You know I will.

1079
00:45:11,891 --> 00:45:13,151
TIPPER:
Can't even believe that.

1080
00:45:13,151 --> 00:45:15,311
That is two more people on the guest list.

1081
00:45:15,311 --> 00:45:18,071
I basically have to reimagine
the entire party.

1082
00:45:18,071 --> 00:45:19,741
‐ [ sighs ] Man.

1083
00:45:19,741 --> 00:45:21,361
‐ Found it.

1084
00:45:21,361 --> 00:45:23,951
Okay, come on, you two.

1085
00:45:23,951 --> 00:45:25,871
Let's look at it.

1086
00:45:28,201 --> 00:45:29,951
‐ [ whispers ] That was very, very close.

1087
00:45:29,951 --> 00:45:31,461
‐ We shouldn't have done that.

1088
00:45:31,461 --> 00:45:34,581
‐ Harper, we've been up since 5:45 a.m....
‐ This is the last batch.

1089
00:45:34,581 --> 00:45:36,921
‐ ...and the twins already made
their own batch of cookies

1090
00:45:36,921 --> 00:45:38,091
and decorated them.
‐ No.

1091
00:45:38,091 --> 00:45:40,921
SLOANE:
We're making these for the party.

1092
00:45:40,921 --> 00:45:42,181
‐ Okay, I'm off.

1093
00:45:42,181 --> 00:45:43,591
‐ What? Where are you going?

1094
00:45:43,591 --> 00:45:45,511
‐ Uh, Levi has a connection
with a local potpourri vendor.

1095
00:45:45,511 --> 00:45:46,721
He's gonna introduce us.

1096
00:45:46,721 --> 00:45:48,391
‐ Great. Right.
ERIC: Yeah.

1097
00:45:48,391 --> 00:45:49,391
Bye, babe.

1098
00:45:49,391 --> 00:45:50,561
TIPPER:
It just runs everywhere.

1099
00:45:50,561 --> 00:45:51,641
‐ Bye, kids.
‐ That's right. That's right.

1100
00:45:51,641 --> 00:45:52,811
KIDS:
Bye, Daddy.

1101
00:45:52,811 --> 00:45:54,021
‐ Jane. Oh, my God.

1102
00:45:54,021 --> 00:45:55,521
‐ I'm just gonna do a button. Can I‐‐
‐ No, no.

1103
00:45:55,521 --> 00:45:57,021
‐ You can't decorate these.
‐ But they have buttons.

1104
00:45:57,021 --> 00:45:58,731
‐ And can you not?
I'm trying to have an even number.

1105
00:45:58,731 --> 00:46:00,361
‐ Mommy, when are we gonna see Santa?

1106
00:46:00,361 --> 00:46:01,821
‐ Honey, I don't know
if we're gonna have time

1107
00:46:01,821 --> 00:46:03,701
to see him this year.
Jane, can you not? I just‐‐

1108
00:46:03,701 --> 00:46:05,531
‐ Oh, take them to see Santa Claus.

1109
00:46:05,531 --> 00:46:07,831
This could be the last year
that they see him.

1110
00:46:07,831 --> 00:46:09,121
‐ Why? Is Santa dying?

1111
00:46:09,121 --> 00:46:10,831
‐ No.
‐ Are we dying?

1112
00:46:10,831 --> 00:46:13,121
‐ No. Fine, I will take you.

1113
00:46:13,121 --> 00:46:15,291
I still need to get
a white elephant gift anyway.

1114
00:46:15,291 --> 00:46:17,631
Did you guys get yours?
‐ Yes.

1115
00:46:17,631 --> 00:46:20,251
‐ [ chuckles ] Yeah, I'm making
something very special.

1116
00:46:20,251 --> 00:46:21,631
‐ Uh, what is white elephant?

1117
00:46:21,631 --> 00:46:23,551
TIPPER:
Oh, it's a gift exchange game we do

1118
00:46:23,551 --> 00:46:25,971
every year at our Christmas Eve party.
‐ Oh.

1119
00:46:25,971 --> 00:46:27,931
‐ And I guess you don't know what it is

1120
00:46:27,931 --> 00:46:30,471
because Harper forgot
to tell you about it.

1121
00:46:30,471 --> 00:46:32,391
‐ I'm sorry.
‐ That's okay.

1122
00:46:32,391 --> 00:46:33,811
I‐I can run out and grab one today.

1123
00:46:33,811 --> 00:46:37,651
‐ Great. So, you girls can tag along
with Sloane to the mall.

1124
00:46:37,651 --> 00:46:40,191
‐ Oh. Actually, I told Dad
that I'd go to his office

1125
00:46:40,191 --> 00:46:42,441
and help him write his speech
for Carolyn's dinner tonight.

1126
00:46:42,441 --> 00:46:44,361
‐ Yeah, I wish I could go,

1127
00:46:44,361 --> 00:46:46,161
but, um, I have to put
the finishing touches

1128
00:46:46,161 --> 00:46:48,371
on my Christmas gifts.

1129
00:46:48,371 --> 00:46:50,241
‐ Guess it's just gonna be
you and me. Fun.

1130
00:46:50,241 --> 00:46:52,201
TIPPER: Well, just make sure
you're all back here by 4:00.

1131
00:46:52,201 --> 00:46:53,581
‐ That's okay?

1132
00:46:53,581 --> 00:46:56,581
‐ We are going to get
that Christmas photo tonight

1133
00:46:56,581 --> 00:46:57,881
before we leave for dinner.

1134
00:46:57,881 --> 00:46:59,041
‐ Yes.
‐ Yes.

1135
00:46:59,041 --> 00:47:01,051
♪ holiday music playing over speakers ♪

1136
00:47:09,641 --> 00:47:11,311
‐ Oh. Hey.

1137
00:47:11,311 --> 00:47:14,021
Hey. Can you watch them for a bit?

1138
00:47:14,021 --> 00:47:16,141
I have to run an errand.
Um, Santa promised them

1139
00:47:16,141 --> 00:47:19,361
[ hushed ]
the complete works of Sylvia Plath, so...

1140
00:47:19,361 --> 00:47:20,651
Is that all right?

1141
00:47:20,651 --> 00:47:21,771
‐ Yeah.

1142
00:47:21,771 --> 00:47:23,281
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1143
00:47:23,281 --> 00:47:25,031
‐ Okay. Thank you.

1144
00:47:25,031 --> 00:47:27,111
Be good, you two.

1145
00:47:27,111 --> 00:47:30,071
♪ playful holiday music ♪

1146
00:47:30,071 --> 00:47:34,161
‐ Hi, guys.
Do you, um, want to come over‐‐

1147
00:47:34,161 --> 00:47:35,581
Want to‐‐ Come on.

1148
00:47:35,581 --> 00:47:37,961
♪ ♪

1149
00:47:37,961 --> 00:47:39,501
[ chuckles nervously ]

1150
00:47:41,881 --> 00:47:44,711
‐ Why was Aunt Harper hiding
in your room this morning?

1151
00:47:45,761 --> 00:47:48,301
‐ Uh, we were playing a game.

1152
00:47:48,301 --> 00:47:49,971
‐ Like hide‐and‐seek?

1153
00:47:49,971 --> 00:47:51,601
‐ Yeah, like hide‐and‐seek.

1154
00:47:51,601 --> 00:47:53,181
MAGNUS:
We love that game.

1155
00:47:53,181 --> 00:47:55,181
‐ What do you guys think about
this white elephant game?

1156
00:47:55,181 --> 00:47:57,021
What gift should I get? Can you help me?

1157
00:47:57,021 --> 00:47:58,771
‐ How about this?

1158
00:47:58,771 --> 00:48:00,401
‐ That is nice.

1159
00:48:00,401 --> 00:48:03,731
I was thinking maybe
something everyone might like.

1160
00:48:03,731 --> 00:48:05,611
Like, um...

1161
00:48:05,611 --> 00:48:08,281
I don't know, a scarf
might be good, actually.

1162
00:48:08,281 --> 00:48:10,701
Someone might want to have that.

1163
00:48:10,701 --> 00:48:13,121
Seems Christmassy.

1164
00:48:14,741 --> 00:48:16,581
Oh.

1165
00:48:16,581 --> 00:48:18,411
Hey, come on. Um...

1166
00:48:18,411 --> 00:48:20,371
Hey, Carolyn.

1167
00:48:20,371 --> 00:48:21,881
Hey, it's good to see you.

1168
00:48:23,211 --> 00:48:25,211
I'm Abby. We met last night.

1169
00:48:25,211 --> 00:48:27,211
I'm Harper Caldwell's friend.

1170
00:48:27,211 --> 00:48:29,721
‐ [ gasps ] Oh! Oh, yes.

1171
00:48:29,721 --> 00:48:31,971
[ chuckling ] Yes, of course.

1172
00:48:31,971 --> 00:48:33,261
Mm.

1173
00:48:34,761 --> 00:48:37,311
It's lovely seeing you.

1174
00:48:38,351 --> 00:48:40,351
‐ Hey, I'm‐I'm really looking forward
to dinner tonight.

1175
00:48:41,401 --> 00:48:43,441
‐ Okay.
‐ Okay.

1176
00:48:46,441 --> 00:48:48,321
Have‐have a nice day. I'll see you later.

1177
00:48:48,321 --> 00:48:50,361
[ alarm blaring ]
CRYSTAL: Hey! Ma'am!

1178
00:48:50,361 --> 00:48:51,781
ED: Oh, ma'am!
CRYSTAL: Ma'am, we're gonna
stop you right there.

1179
00:48:51,781 --> 00:48:53,821
ED: Ma'am, put the bag on the floor.
‐ Okay.

1180
00:48:53,821 --> 00:48:54,991
CRYSTAL: Miss, put it down.
ED: Ma'am!

1181
00:48:54,991 --> 00:48:57,581
Put the bag on the floor
and slide it to me.

1182
00:48:57,581 --> 00:48:58,911
You want to explain that?
ABBY: A‐As I've said,

1183
00:48:58,911 --> 00:49:01,371
I did not put that in my bag.
There might‐‐

1184
00:49:01,371 --> 00:49:03,381
‐ Oh, you didn't put it in your bag...
‐ Oh.

1185
00:49:03,381 --> 00:49:06,501
‐ ...but it ended up in your bag, so this
is probably just a big misunderstanding.

1186
00:49:06,501 --> 00:49:09,011
‐ Maybe it grew legs
and then it walked into her bag.

1187
00:49:09,011 --> 00:49:10,551
‐ CRYSTAL: [ stammers ]
Did you check it for legs, or‐‐

1188
00:49:10,551 --> 00:49:11,881
‐ I haven't checked it for legs.
‐ You haven't done that.

1189
00:49:11,881 --> 00:49:13,801
‐ I'm not suggesting that it grew legs.

1190
00:49:13,801 --> 00:49:15,761
‐ It's not looking good, sweetie.

1191
00:49:15,761 --> 00:49:16,971
‐ Pittsburgh, huh?

1192
00:49:16,971 --> 00:49:18,271
‐ Yeah.

1193
00:49:18,271 --> 00:49:19,981
‐ What are you doing down this way?

1194
00:49:19,981 --> 00:49:21,351
‐ You pulling a job?

1195
00:49:21,351 --> 00:49:22,691
Jacking a roost?

1196
00:49:22,691 --> 00:49:24,311
‐ What was that?
CRYSTAL: Yeah, hocking crank

1197
00:49:24,311 --> 00:49:25,651
and breaking bad?

1198
00:49:25,651 --> 00:49:27,691
‐ I'm not doing any of those things.
ED: Smash and grab?

1199
00:49:27,691 --> 00:49:29,741
‐ I‐I didn't take this necklace.
CRYSTAL: Wow.

1200
00:49:29,741 --> 00:49:31,701
ABBY: I'm sure that you could
review some footage.

1201
00:49:31,701 --> 00:49:32,701
Aren't there cameras in malls?

1202
00:49:32,701 --> 00:49:34,701
‐ Are you telling me how to do my job?
ABBY: There are cameras everywhere.

1203
00:49:34,701 --> 00:49:35,911
CRYSTAL: You're gonna regret it.
‐ No.

1204
00:49:35,911 --> 00:49:37,031
ED: You know what? Fine.
‐ No, I'm not doing any‐‐

1205
00:49:37,031 --> 00:49:38,991
‐ Why don't you go ahead
and do my job, hotshot?
‐ Good freaking luck.

1206
00:49:38,991 --> 00:49:40,411
ED: You're in charge now.
CRYSTAL: Yeah.

1207
00:49:40,411 --> 00:49:41,911
‐ Can you believe‐‐
‐ No, I'm gonna get her to sing, okay?

1208
00:49:41,911 --> 00:49:43,671
ED: Go ahead.
CRYSTAL: I'm gonna make this little birdie

1209
00:49:43,671 --> 00:49:45,921
go tweet, tweet, tweet, becau‐‐
‐ Go ahead.

1210
00:49:47,421 --> 00:49:49,051
‐ Eugene.
‐ [ Eugene stammers ]

1211
00:49:49,051 --> 00:49:50,461
‐ Goddamn it. We're‐‐
‐ What are you‐‐

1212
00:49:50,461 --> 00:49:51,881
‐ I heard there were Cruffins in here.

1213
00:49:51,881 --> 00:49:52,971
‐ No.

1214
00:49:52,971 --> 00:49:54,431
‐ There aren't any Cruffins.

1215
00:49:54,431 --> 00:49:56,431
EUGENE:
There's not, or there were? Were there?

1216
00:49:56,431 --> 00:49:58,431
CRYSTAL: No, we stopped
keeping food in here.
ED: No.

1217
00:49:58,431 --> 00:49:59,771
HARPER:
Dad, Abby would never do this.

1218
00:49:59,771 --> 00:50:00,981
SLOANE:
Go get ready quick, quick, quick,

1219
00:50:00,981 --> 00:50:02,141
because we're late now.

1220
00:50:02,141 --> 00:50:03,311
TED:
This isn't a conversation, Harper.

1221
00:50:03,311 --> 00:50:04,311
HARPER:
Please, Dad, just be‐‐

1222
00:50:04,311 --> 00:50:05,811
TIPPER: [ hushed ]
Shh! Quiet.

1223
00:50:05,811 --> 00:50:07,441
HARPER: Okay. I'm sorry.
TIPPER: Oh, I know. I know.

1224
00:50:07,441 --> 00:50:09,191
HARPER:
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1225
00:50:14,531 --> 00:50:16,571
‐ I didn't do it.

1226
00:50:16,571 --> 00:50:17,911
‐ Baby, I know.

1227
00:50:17,911 --> 00:50:21,701
But Carolyn thinks it would just be better
if you weren't at the dinner.

1228
00:50:21,701 --> 00:50:23,791
Look, it's gonna be so boring anyways.

1229
00:50:23,791 --> 00:50:25,421
You're lucky you don't have to go.

1230
00:50:25,421 --> 00:50:27,421
Come here.

1231
00:50:29,211 --> 00:50:31,461
[ sighs ]

1232
00:50:31,461 --> 00:50:35,131
Can we hang out tonight after the dinner?

1233
00:50:35,131 --> 00:50:37,601
My friends want to go out,
and‐and we can go with them

1234
00:50:37,601 --> 00:50:40,011
or we can not go with them, but...

1235
00:50:40,011 --> 00:50:42,641
I just think we‐we need a break

1236
00:50:42,641 --> 00:50:44,731
from the family.

1237
00:50:44,731 --> 00:50:46,151
‐ Yeah, s‐‐
[ knocking ]

1238
00:50:47,731 --> 00:50:49,861
‐ Harper, we have got to go.

1239
00:50:49,861 --> 00:50:51,361
Come on, we're gonna be late.

1240
00:50:51,361 --> 00:50:53,071
‐ Okay. [ sighs ]

1241
00:50:53,071 --> 00:50:54,491
I'll see you later?
ABBY: Mm‐hmm.

1242
00:50:54,491 --> 00:50:55,611
‐ Okay.

1243
00:50:55,611 --> 00:50:56,951
I'm sorry.

1244
00:50:56,951 --> 00:50:59,371
TIPPER:
We weren't able to get the photo again.

1245
00:50:59,371 --> 00:51:00,621
[ door closes ]

1246
00:51:00,621 --> 00:51:02,621
[ "Blame It on Christmas"
by Shea Diamond playing ]

1247
00:51:02,621 --> 00:51:04,621
♪ Blame it on Christmas ♪

1248
00:51:06,041 --> 00:51:09,211
♪ Why I'm out of control ♪

1249
00:51:10,461 --> 00:51:14,381
♪ Oh, give me forgiveness ♪

1250
00:51:14,381 --> 00:51:17,891
♪ For what's about to unfold ♪

1251
00:51:19,681 --> 00:51:24,181
♪ 'Cause I just can't keep my cool ♪

1252
00:51:24,181 --> 00:51:28,521
♪ While I'm tiding all of this yule ♪

1253
00:51:28,521 --> 00:51:32,271
♪ Blame it on, blame it on Christmas ♪

1254
00:51:32,271 --> 00:51:34,861
♪ Ooh, why I'm acting a fool. ♪

1255
00:51:36,651 --> 00:51:37,821
‐ Hey.

1256
00:51:37,821 --> 00:51:39,871
‐ We meet again.

1257
00:51:39,871 --> 00:51:41,451
ABBY: [ chuckles ]
Yeah.

1258
00:51:41,451 --> 00:51:43,081
‐ No Harper?

1259
00:51:43,081 --> 00:51:45,911
‐ No, she's, um, with her family.

1260
00:51:45,911 --> 00:51:47,871
I‐I'm gonna meet up with her in a bit.

1261
00:51:47,871 --> 00:51:49,331
What'd you get?

1262
00:51:49,331 --> 00:51:52,001
‐ Um...

1263
00:51:52,001 --> 00:51:56,051
Oh, I can't tell you, because it's for
the white elephant party.

1264
00:51:56,051 --> 00:51:58,011
‐ Ah, you're going to that, too?

1265
00:51:58,011 --> 00:51:59,391
‐ Oh, yeah.

1266
00:51:59,391 --> 00:52:01,221
Yeah, my family goes every year.

1267
00:52:01,221 --> 00:52:03,141
It's, um...

1268
00:52:03,141 --> 00:52:05,221
God, it's the best party of the year.

1269
00:52:05,221 --> 00:52:07,481
‐ [ laughs ]

1270
00:52:07,481 --> 00:52:10,061
You know, I'm‐I'm glad I ran into you,

1271
00:52:10,061 --> 00:52:13,231
'cause I'm having this thing where
if I stick my finger in my eye,

1272
00:52:13,231 --> 00:52:14,981
it, like, really hurts.

1273
00:52:14,981 --> 00:52:18,611
‐ Yeah, I mean, that's
a classic case of, um,

1274
00:52:18,611 --> 00:52:20,871
contact stupiditis.

1275
00:52:20,871 --> 00:52:23,121
Um, because it's a stupid thing to do.

1276
00:52:23,121 --> 00:52:24,911
‐ [ laughs ] Yep.
‐ Once you get to

1277
00:52:24,911 --> 00:52:26,791
the finger‐poking stage,
you're‐you're pretty much dead.

1278
00:52:26,791 --> 00:52:28,211
‐ [ sighs ]

1279
00:52:28,211 --> 00:52:31,541
I'd really like to drink some alcohol.

1280
00:52:31,541 --> 00:52:33,251
Do you know where I could do that?

1281
00:52:34,921 --> 00:52:36,591
‐ Yes.

1282
00:52:38,261 --> 00:52:40,511
‐ ♪ What is Christmas? ♪

1283
00:52:40,511 --> 00:52:43,141
‐ ♪ Christmas is for caring ♪
‐ [ scattered laughter ]

1284
00:52:43,141 --> 00:52:45,061
‐ ♪ What is Christmas? ♪

1285
00:52:45,061 --> 00:52:47,811
‐ ♪ Christmas is for sharing ♪

1286
00:52:47,811 --> 00:52:49,441
‐ ♪ What is Christmas? ♪

1287
00:52:49,441 --> 00:52:52,271
♪ Can't you guess? ♪

1288
00:52:52,271 --> 00:52:55,401
‐ ♪ Christmas is for ha... ♪

1289
00:52:55,401 --> 00:52:56,861
♪ Penis ♪

1290
00:52:56,861 --> 00:52:58,611
RILEY: Yes, you are.
‐ I wish.

1291
00:52:58,611 --> 00:53:00,451
‐ Just tell me.
‐ I wish I had a story, like‐‐

1292
00:53:00,451 --> 00:53:02,071
‐ Did you steal it?
‐ No.

1293
00:53:02,071 --> 00:53:05,741
And I still don't have
a white elephant gift, on top of it all.

1294
00:53:05,741 --> 00:53:07,831
‐ You've got to get one.
‐ I'm trying.

1295
00:53:07,831 --> 00:53:09,411
‐ I will help you with this.

1296
00:53:09,411 --> 00:53:11,791
I know a lot of places that aren't malls.

1297
00:53:11,791 --> 00:53:13,081
‐ That would be great.

1298
00:53:13,081 --> 00:53:15,461
SINGERS:
♪ And when does Christmas come? ♪

1299
00:53:15,461 --> 00:53:19,131
♪ And when does Christmas leave? ♪

1300
00:53:19,131 --> 00:53:23,721
‐ [ laughter ]
SINGERS: ♪ It comes but never goes... ♪

1301
00:53:23,721 --> 00:53:26,931
‐ What did you mean last night
when you said you could relate?

1302
00:53:26,931 --> 00:53:30,141
‐ That was just a comment
based on an assumption

1303
00:53:30,141 --> 00:53:33,061
that I was making about you and Harper.

1304
00:53:35,981 --> 00:53:38,731
‐ I think it's probably
an accurate assumption.

1305
00:53:40,991 --> 00:53:43,161
You don't have to talk to me
about this stuff.

1306
00:53:43,161 --> 00:53:44,531
I know it's weird, like‐‐

1307
00:53:44,531 --> 00:53:46,411
‐ So, what has she told you?

1308
00:53:46,411 --> 00:53:48,621
‐ That you dated in high school.

1309
00:53:48,621 --> 00:53:50,871
That you were her first girlfriend.

1310
00:53:50,871 --> 00:53:52,791
That's about it.

1311
00:53:54,171 --> 00:53:55,921
Is there more?
RILEY: Mm‐hmm.

1312
00:53:56,961 --> 00:53:57,961
Yeah, a little.

1313
00:54:00,921 --> 00:54:02,931
I mean...

1314
00:54:05,641 --> 00:54:07,641
Yeah.

1315
00:54:07,641 --> 00:54:10,141
Yeah, growing up,
we were totally inseparable.

1316
00:54:10,141 --> 00:54:11,851
We were best friends.

1317
00:54:11,851 --> 00:54:15,021
And then, freshman year,
we became more than friends.

1318
00:54:16,271 --> 00:54:18,271
We started dating.

1319
00:54:20,031 --> 00:54:23,451
But nobody knew that, obviously.

1320
00:54:23,451 --> 00:54:26,491
And we would, like,
leave these little love letters

1321
00:54:26,491 --> 00:54:28,281
in‐in each other's lockers.

1322
00:54:28,281 --> 00:54:31,411
And one day, one of Harper's friends
found one of the letters,

1323
00:54:31,411 --> 00:54:34,711
and she asked Harper wh‐what it was about,

1324
00:54:34,711 --> 00:54:39,501
and Harper basically just said
that I am gay

1325
00:54:39,501 --> 00:54:41,341
and that I wouldn't leave her alone.

1326
00:54:41,341 --> 00:54:44,301
And then within a couple days,
like, everybody in school found out,

1327
00:54:44,301 --> 00:54:47,341
and everybody was so awful to me.

1328
00:54:48,391 --> 00:54:50,431
‐ I'm sorry, that's‐‐ I'm sorry.

1329
00:54:51,471 --> 00:54:54,561
‐ Yeah, so the thing that
I can relate to is just

1330
00:54:54,561 --> 00:54:58,271
being in love with somebody that is...

1331
00:54:58,271 --> 00:55:01,071
too afraid to show the world who they are.

1332
00:55:07,991 --> 00:55:09,701
But that was a long time ago.

1333
00:55:10,741 --> 00:55:12,291
‐ Yeah.

1334
00:55:12,291 --> 00:55:14,291
[ music ends ]
[ cheering, applause ]

1335
00:55:14,291 --> 00:55:16,291
‐ Thank you!

1336
00:55:16,291 --> 00:55:19,041
All right, that's enough.

1337
00:55:20,091 --> 00:55:23,881
And with this next song,
we're gonna need a little help from you.

1338
00:55:23,881 --> 00:55:26,471
‐ We're gonna ask you a...

1339
00:55:26,471 --> 00:55:28,091
‐ Question.
‐ ...question.

1340
00:55:28,091 --> 00:55:30,351
And you are going to...

1341
00:55:30,351 --> 00:55:31,931
‐ Give us the answer.
‐ ...answer.

1342
00:55:31,931 --> 00:55:34,061
‐ Yeah.
‐ [ laughs ] It's simple.

1343
00:55:34,061 --> 00:55:35,641
EM K. ULTRA:
Here we go.

1344
00:55:35,641 --> 00:55:37,141
[ applause ]

1345
00:55:37,141 --> 00:55:40,151
♪ Who's got a beard
that's long and white? ♪

1346
00:55:40,151 --> 00:55:42,611
‐ [ patrons singing ]
‐ We're gonna sing. Ready?
‐ Mm‐hmm. Yeah.

1347
00:55:42,611 --> 00:55:45,241
‐ ♪ Who comes around
on a special night? ♪

1348
00:55:45,241 --> 00:55:48,111
‐ ♪ Santa comes around
on a special night ♪

1349
00:55:48,111 --> 00:55:50,621
‐ ♪ Special night ♪
‐ ♪ Special night ♪

1350
00:55:50,621 --> 00:55:53,581
‐ ♪ Beard that's white ♪
‐ ♪ Beard that's white ♪

1351
00:55:53,581 --> 00:55:55,001
MISS L'TEAU: Everybody!
‐ Whoa.

1352
00:55:55,001 --> 00:55:58,671
ALL:
♪ Must be Santa, must be Santa ♪

1353
00:55:58,671 --> 00:56:01,171
♪ Must be Santa ♪

1354
00:56:01,171 --> 00:56:04,131
♪ Santa Claus ♪

1355
00:56:04,131 --> 00:56:05,921
‐ No. No, what? Oh, my God, no.
‐ What?

1356
00:56:05,921 --> 00:56:07,881
‐ Oh, we're gonna get
a little more intimate now.

1357
00:56:07,881 --> 00:56:09,221
RILEY:
Yes!

1358
00:56:09,221 --> 00:56:11,601
‐ ♪ Who's got boots and a suit of red? ♪

1359
00:56:11,601 --> 00:56:13,391
‐ [ laughs ]
‐ Oh... [ laughs ]

1360
00:56:13,391 --> 00:56:16,021
Come on, you want to hear her sing, right?

1361
00:56:16,021 --> 00:56:19,691
MISS L'TEAU: Yeah.
Yeah, we want to hear her sing.
‐ [ cheering ]

1362
00:56:19,691 --> 00:56:21,981
EM K. ULTRA: ♪ Who's got boots
and a suit of red? ♪
‐ I'll help you.

1363
00:56:21,981 --> 00:56:24,691
ABBY and RILEY:
♪ Santa's got boots and a suit of red ♪

1364
00:56:24,691 --> 00:56:27,281
EM K. ULTRA: Yeah, perfect!
MISS L'TEAU: ♪ Who's got
a long cap on his head? ♪

1365
00:56:27,281 --> 00:56:30,031
ALL:
♪ Santa's got a long cap on his head ♪

1366
00:56:30,031 --> 00:56:32,781
EM K. ULTRA: ♪ On his head ♪
OTHERS: ♪ On his head ♪

1367
00:56:32,781 --> 00:56:35,701
SINGERS: ♪ Suit of red ♪
PATRONS: ♪ Suit of red ♪

1368
00:56:35,701 --> 00:56:41,251
ALL:
♪ Must be Santa, must be Santa ♪

1369
00:56:41,251 --> 00:56:43,631
♪ Must be Santa ♪

1370
00:56:43,631 --> 00:56:47,131
♪ Santa Claus ♪

1371
00:56:47,131 --> 00:56:49,341
♪ Must be Santa ♪

1372
00:56:49,341 --> 00:56:52,091
♪ Must be Santa ♪
[ cell phone chimes ]

1373
00:56:52,091 --> 00:56:53,971
♪ Must be Santa... ♪

1374
00:56:53,971 --> 00:56:56,811
‐ Um, I should‐‐ I should close out.

1375
00:56:56,811 --> 00:56:58,851
It's‐‐ Harper texted me.

1376
00:56:58,851 --> 00:57:01,191
‐ Oh.
‐ Yes.

1377
00:57:01,191 --> 00:57:03,481
PATRONS:
♪ Santa's got a beard that's long... ♪

1378
00:57:03,481 --> 00:57:06,191
♪ lively dance music ♪

1379
00:57:06,191 --> 00:57:07,571
ASHLEY:
...of the square.

1380
00:57:07,571 --> 00:57:09,191
The guy at the top of the square.

1381
00:57:09,191 --> 00:57:10,401
That's the business model.

1382
00:57:10,401 --> 00:57:12,031
It's brilliant.

1383
00:57:12,031 --> 00:57:14,071
‐ Hi.

1384
00:57:14,071 --> 00:57:15,581
‐ Oh, Abby's here.
CONNOR: Shots, shots, shots.

1385
00:57:15,581 --> 00:57:17,621
You guys ready?
‐ How was‐‐ How was tonight?

1386
00:57:17,621 --> 00:57:19,161
‐ Shots!
‐ Oh, shots.
ABBY: It was great. It was good.

1387
00:57:19,161 --> 00:57:20,961
All right, I think I'm gonna grab a beer.
ASHLEY: Shots, shots, shots, shots.

1388
00:57:20,961 --> 00:57:22,501
‐ No, no, no, no.
CONNOR: No, Abby, Abby, hey.

1389
00:57:22,501 --> 00:57:23,631
Cannot be at this place sober.

1390
00:57:23,631 --> 00:57:24,841
It's a‐‐ Ready? Cheers.
ASHLEY and KELLY: Cheers.

1391
00:57:24,841 --> 00:57:26,171
‐ Eyes, eyes.
‐ Eyes, eyes.

1392
00:57:26,171 --> 00:57:28,421
‐ Eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes,
eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes.

1393
00:57:28,421 --> 00:57:29,551
CONNOR:
One, two, three. Go.

1394
00:57:30,591 --> 00:57:32,551
[ music ends ]
‐ Oh!

1395
00:57:32,551 --> 00:57:34,261
‐ Okay, I need some music.
HARPER: Did you have dinner?

1396
00:57:34,261 --> 00:57:35,681
ASHLEY: Come, come, come, come, come.
ABBY: Yeah.

1397
00:57:35,681 --> 00:57:37,511
‐ Wait. Okay, I'll come right back.

1398
00:57:39,981 --> 00:57:41,311
♪ lively dance music ♪

1399
00:57:41,311 --> 00:57:43,401
Are you having the most terrible time?

1400
00:57:43,401 --> 00:57:44,481
‐ No.

1401
00:57:44,481 --> 00:57:46,321
No, I'm‐I'm just tired.

1402
00:57:46,321 --> 00:57:47,571
‐ Okay.
‐ I'm really tired.

1403
00:57:47,571 --> 00:57:49,481
I think I'm gonna go.

1404
00:57:49,481 --> 00:57:51,031
‐ Oh, no.

1405
00:57:51,031 --> 00:57:52,531
Uh...

1406
00:57:52,531 --> 00:57:54,781
[ sighs ] I kind of want to stay
a little bit longer.

1407
00:57:54,781 --> 00:57:56,701
Is that okay?

1408
00:57:59,161 --> 00:58:01,001
‐ [ laughter ]

1409
00:58:02,251 --> 00:58:04,121
‐ Yeah, you should‐‐ Yes, of course.

1410
00:58:04,121 --> 00:58:05,381
Yeah. Yeah, I'm just‐‐
‐ Yeah?

1411
00:58:05,381 --> 00:58:06,711
Are you sure?
‐ Mm.

1412
00:58:06,711 --> 00:58:08,421
‐ Okay.

1413
00:58:08,421 --> 00:58:10,011
And you'll get home okay?

1414
00:58:10,011 --> 00:58:11,591
I won't be out late.

1415
00:58:11,591 --> 00:58:12,971
Okay.

1416
00:58:12,971 --> 00:58:15,721
Text me when you get home.

1417
00:58:15,721 --> 00:58:17,101
CONNOR:
Hey.

1418
00:58:17,101 --> 00:58:18,261
How about you?

1419
00:58:18,261 --> 00:58:19,771
You won't. You won't.

1420
00:58:19,771 --> 00:58:22,311
She will. You won't. You won't.
KELLY: You won't.

1421
00:58:48,001 --> 00:58:50,631
[ over speakers ]
♪ Hey ♪

1422
00:58:50,631 --> 00:58:52,881
♪ What are we doing? ♪

1423
00:58:52,881 --> 00:58:55,131
‐ [ quiet chatter ]

1424
00:58:55,131 --> 00:58:56,891
♪ Don't you remem... ♪

1425
00:58:56,891 --> 00:58:58,351
CONNOR:
Well, that was fun.

1426
00:58:58,351 --> 00:59:00,101
HARPER:
Whew. Yeah.

1427
00:59:00,101 --> 00:59:02,181
[ Connor groans ]
[ Harper sighs ]

1428
00:59:02,181 --> 00:59:04,601
‐ I'm glad you came out.
‐ Yeah.

1429
00:59:04,601 --> 00:59:06,851
‐ It's been a minute, you know,
since we've gotten to do this.

1430
00:59:06,851 --> 00:59:09,561
Like, since we‐‐

1431
00:59:10,611 --> 00:59:11,901
Well, you know.

1432
00:59:11,901 --> 00:59:13,991
I've missed you.

1433
00:59:13,991 --> 00:59:15,741
‐ No, it's nice to catch up.

1434
00:59:15,741 --> 00:59:17,201
‐ Yeah.

1435
00:59:17,201 --> 00:59:19,831
[ takes deep breath ]

1436
00:59:19,831 --> 00:59:22,121
‐ Well, I'm that way.

1437
00:59:22,121 --> 00:59:23,661
‐ Oh, darn.
‐ Where are you?

1438
00:59:23,661 --> 00:59:25,161
‐ I'm that way. [ laughs ]

1439
00:59:25,161 --> 00:59:26,671
‐ Good night.
‐ Good night.

1440
00:59:26,671 --> 00:59:28,251
It was great seeing you.
‐ [ grunts ]

1441
00:59:28,251 --> 00:59:30,421
‐ [ clears throat ]
‐ [ Harper chuckles ]

1442
00:59:30,421 --> 00:59:32,251
‐ [ sighs ]

1443
00:59:32,251 --> 00:59:34,261
Hey, Harper, was there someone else?

1444
00:59:36,631 --> 00:59:38,051
‐ What do you mean?

1445
00:59:39,091 --> 00:59:41,141
‐ Is that why we broke up?

1446
00:59:42,181 --> 00:59:44,271
‐ No.

1447
00:59:44,271 --> 00:59:46,981
No, I mean, I‐I told you
that the long distance

1448
00:59:46,981 --> 00:59:48,811
just got too hard and‐‐

1449
00:59:48,811 --> 00:59:50,311
‐ The distance. Yeah, I know, I know.

1450
00:59:50,311 --> 00:59:51,611
I know.

1451
00:59:52,651 --> 00:59:54,281
[ sighs ]

1452
00:59:54,281 --> 00:59:56,111
I don't know. Just...

1453
00:59:56,111 --> 00:59:58,991
kind of always felt like
there was something...

1454
01:00:00,781 --> 01:00:04,041
Kind of felt like there was
something you weren't telling me.

1455
01:00:11,171 --> 01:00:13,171
‐ There wasn't someone else.

1456
01:00:33,861 --> 01:00:35,281
ABBY: [ whispers ]
Hey.

1457
01:00:37,321 --> 01:00:39,321
‐ What's wrong?

1458
01:00:39,321 --> 01:00:40,661
‐ Just making sure you're okay.

1459
01:00:40,661 --> 01:00:42,281
‐ Why wouldn't I be?

1460
01:00:42,281 --> 01:00:44,871
‐ I don't know, you weren't
answering me, so I was‐‐

1461
01:00:44,871 --> 01:00:47,911
‐ I‐I know, but you‐you knew
I was out with my friends.

1462
01:00:47,911 --> 01:00:49,291
‐ Yeah, but, I mean, I didn't know that

1463
01:00:49,291 --> 01:00:51,001
you were gonna be out
till 2:00 in the morning,

1464
01:00:51,001 --> 01:00:52,211
so I'm just checking on you.

1465
01:00:52,211 --> 01:00:54,501
‐ Okay.

1466
01:00:54,501 --> 01:00:56,801
[ chuckles ] I'm sorry.
I didn't know I had a curfew.

1467
01:00:56,801 --> 01:00:58,591
‐ What is going on with you?

1468
01:00:58,591 --> 01:01:00,591
‐ Nothing. I‐‐

1469
01:01:00,591 --> 01:01:02,301
Nothing.

1470
01:01:02,301 --> 01:01:06,141
I just don't know why
you're keeping tabs on me.

1471
01:01:06,141 --> 01:01:08,101
‐ Keeping tabs on you?
‐ Yeah.

1472
01:01:08,101 --> 01:01:09,731
It just‐‐

1473
01:01:09,731 --> 01:01:11,311
[ sighs ]

1474
01:01:11,311 --> 01:01:12,901
‐ What?

1475
01:01:12,901 --> 01:01:16,481
‐ It just feels a little... suffocating.

1476
01:01:16,481 --> 01:01:17,861
‐ I'm suffocating you?

1477
01:01:17,861 --> 01:01:19,861
‐ Or not, but just‐‐

1478
01:01:19,861 --> 01:01:21,821
‐ Well, I feel really suffocated
in the closet

1479
01:01:21,821 --> 01:01:23,241
that you shoved me back into.
‐ Shh!

1480
01:01:23,241 --> 01:01:24,701
[ hushed ]
You agreed to this.

1481
01:01:24,701 --> 01:01:25,951
‐ Yeah, we were practically already here.

1482
01:01:25,951 --> 01:01:27,201
‐ Can you sh‐‐

1483
01:01:27,201 --> 01:01:28,621
Please be quiet.

1484
01:01:28,621 --> 01:01:30,621
‐ I was gonna‐‐ I‐‐

1485
01:01:32,421 --> 01:01:34,671
If I knew that part
of what I was agreeing to

1486
01:01:34,671 --> 01:01:36,711
was you hanging out
with your ex‐boyfriend all night,

1487
01:01:36,711 --> 01:01:39,711
maybe I wouldn't have.
‐ [ sighs ] God, Abby.

1488
01:01:42,261 --> 01:01:45,351
I just‐‐ I feel like
we just need some space.

1489
01:01:45,351 --> 01:01:46,641
‐ You need some space?

1490
01:01:48,471 --> 01:01:50,271
Okay.

1491
01:01:51,441 --> 01:01:52,851
‐ Abby.

1492
01:01:52,851 --> 01:01:54,311
[ footsteps stomping ]
‐ Oh.

1493
01:01:54,311 --> 01:01:57,481
She is very heavy‐footed.

1494
01:01:57,481 --> 01:02:02,491
Honey, I have a list of party errands
that Jane has volunteered to run,

1495
01:02:02,491 --> 01:02:04,701
but I don't trust her
to do them on her own,

1496
01:02:04,701 --> 01:02:07,161
so I need you to supervise.

1497
01:02:07,161 --> 01:02:09,081
‐ Okay.

1498
01:02:13,421 --> 01:02:15,581
‐ It's a long list.

1499
01:02:18,711 --> 01:02:20,511
HARPER: [ sighs ]
Okay.

1500
01:02:20,511 --> 01:02:21,841
[ groans ]

1501
01:02:32,021 --> 01:02:33,771
ABBY:
No, no.

1502
01:02:34,811 --> 01:02:36,101
[ phone vibrating ]

1503
01:02:38,231 --> 01:02:41,111
Hey.
JOHN: Okay, so...

1504
01:02:41,111 --> 01:02:44,491
I might have been a little judgmental
when we last spoke.

1505
01:02:44,491 --> 01:02:48,161
You are in an unusual situation,
and as your friend,

1506
01:02:48,161 --> 01:02:50,491
I should have created
a safe space for you to share

1507
01:02:50,491 --> 01:02:52,911
without the threat of criticism, so...

1508
01:02:52,911 --> 01:02:54,581
I'm sorry.

1509
01:02:54,581 --> 01:02:56,251
I am here.

1510
01:02:56,251 --> 01:02:57,881
No judgment.

1511
01:02:57,881 --> 01:02:59,421
What is going on?

1512
01:02:59,421 --> 01:03:01,001
ABBY:
Well, let's see.

1513
01:03:01,001 --> 01:03:03,131
I was arrested by mall security yesterday,

1514
01:03:03,131 --> 01:03:05,301
and now Harper's entire family
thinks I'm a criminal.

1515
01:03:05,301 --> 01:03:07,761
And after spending her entire night, like,

1516
01:03:07,761 --> 01:03:11,681
until 2:00 in the morning,
with her ex‐boyfriend Connor,

1517
01:03:11,681 --> 01:03:14,021
she's acting like someone
I barely even recognize.

1518
01:03:14,021 --> 01:03:16,601
And I want to just get out of here,
but it would cost me

1519
01:03:16,601 --> 01:03:18,771
like a thousand dollars
to get a ride, and‐‐

1520
01:03:18,771 --> 01:03:21,361
This is why I avoid Christmas.

1521
01:03:21,361 --> 01:03:23,031
It brings out the worst in everything.

1522
01:03:23,031 --> 01:03:26,071
I‐I know this isn't about me.
I just feel crazy, like‐‐

1523
01:03:26,071 --> 01:03:28,741
Do I‐‐ It's‐‐
Do I stick it out for two days?

1524
01:03:28,741 --> 01:03:30,741
It's‐it's not that long.

1525
01:03:30,741 --> 01:03:32,831
But I don't know. I‐‐

1526
01:03:34,041 --> 01:03:35,911
What would you do?

1527
01:03:35,911 --> 01:03:37,081
JOHN:
Uh...

1528
01:03:37,081 --> 01:03:38,541
Uh... uh...

1529
01:03:38,541 --> 01:03:39,671
I...

1530
01:03:39,671 --> 01:03:41,801
[ quietly ]
Thank you.

1531
01:03:41,801 --> 01:03:44,761
I'm gonna‐‐ I'm gonna need
to give this a think.

1532
01:03:44,761 --> 01:03:46,511
I think.

1533
01:03:47,761 --> 01:03:49,591
‐ Hello?

1534
01:03:59,351 --> 01:04:01,941
[ inhales deeply ]

1535
01:04:01,941 --> 01:04:03,981
[ exhales ]

1536
01:04:07,071 --> 01:04:09,071
[ exhales sharply ]

1537
01:04:11,201 --> 01:04:13,121
[ sighs ]

1538
01:04:14,541 --> 01:04:16,161
Hey, um...

1539
01:04:16,161 --> 01:04:17,911
Hey, it's Abby.

1540
01:04:17,911 --> 01:04:20,041
Are you‐‐ Are you doing
anything right now?

1541
01:04:20,041 --> 01:04:22,291
Who's really gonna want
a mini doughnut factory?

1542
01:04:22,291 --> 01:04:23,841
RILEY:
Uh, this family.

1543
01:04:23,841 --> 01:04:25,881
I saw two of their cousins
get in a fistfight

1544
01:04:25,881 --> 01:04:27,721
over a quesadilla maker
at this party once.

1545
01:04:27,721 --> 01:04:29,801
[ cell phone chimes ]
‐ Oh, yikes.

1546
01:04:36,931 --> 01:04:38,391
‐ Everything all right?

1547
01:04:38,391 --> 01:04:39,691
‐ Yeah.

1548
01:04:42,691 --> 01:04:45,861
JANE:
Thank you so much. It looks so good.

1549
01:04:45,861 --> 01:04:47,941
I mean, it‐it looks good.

1550
01:04:47,941 --> 01:04:50,701
[ "The First Noel"
plays softly over speakers ]

1551
01:04:52,911 --> 01:04:54,371
JANE:
This is all for me.

1552
01:04:54,371 --> 01:04:55,871
[ chuckles ] It's not. It's not.

1553
01:04:55,871 --> 01:04:57,041
I'm just kidding.

1554
01:04:57,041 --> 01:04:58,751
It's for my‐‐

1555
01:04:58,751 --> 01:05:00,831
And yes, we'll have‐‐

1556
01:05:06,091 --> 01:05:08,211
Ready to go?

1557
01:05:08,211 --> 01:05:10,841
‐ [ gasps ]
[ bottles clatter ]

1558
01:05:10,841 --> 01:05:12,471
[ Harper sighs ]

1559
01:05:12,471 --> 01:05:14,471
‐ It's probably okay.

1560
01:05:16,391 --> 01:05:18,271
[ grunts ]

1561
01:05:18,271 --> 01:05:20,351
‐ [ Harper gasps ]

1562
01:05:22,101 --> 01:05:23,311
[ Harper sighs ]

1563
01:05:23,311 --> 01:05:25,321
♪ playful music ♪

1564
01:05:29,441 --> 01:05:31,911
‐ Oh, do not put that there.

1565
01:05:31,911 --> 01:05:34,661
What do you think this is, a barn party?

1566
01:05:34,661 --> 01:05:37,581
Hey, everyone, please come down!

1567
01:05:37,581 --> 01:05:41,251
We are getting this photo
as soon as Jane gets here.

1568
01:05:41,251 --> 01:05:42,961
‐ Honey, are you sure
this is the best time?

1569
01:05:42,961 --> 01:05:44,421
People will start arriving any minute.

1570
01:05:44,421 --> 01:05:46,001
‐ It's the only time.

1571
01:05:46,001 --> 01:05:47,341
[ door opens ]

1572
01:05:48,961 --> 01:05:50,511
Hi, Abby.
‐ Hi.

1573
01:05:50,511 --> 01:05:53,011
Oh, where should I put
this white elephant gift?

1574
01:05:53,011 --> 01:05:54,841
‐ I don't know. In the oven?

1575
01:05:54,841 --> 01:05:56,471
Jesus, Abby, where do you think it goes?

1576
01:05:56,471 --> 01:05:58,011
Under the damn tree.

1577
01:05:58,011 --> 01:05:59,641
[ sighs ] I'm sorry.

1578
01:05:59,641 --> 01:06:01,311
I'm sorry.

1579
01:06:01,311 --> 01:06:03,651
You probably never even
had a Christmas tree.

1580
01:06:03,651 --> 01:06:06,111
[ sighs ] We do this party every year,

1581
01:06:06,111 --> 01:06:09,281
and every year,
no matter how early I start planning,

1582
01:06:09,281 --> 01:06:11,991
I just feel totally unprepared.

1583
01:06:11,991 --> 01:06:15,781
[ sighs ]
And I can't find my Christmas brooch.

1584
01:06:15,781 --> 01:06:17,331
Have you seen it?

1585
01:06:17,331 --> 01:06:18,911
You can tell me.

1586
01:06:18,911 --> 01:06:20,331
I won't be mad.

1587
01:06:20,331 --> 01:06:22,211
I just want to know it's safe.

1588
01:06:23,671 --> 01:06:25,131
‐ I haven't seen it.

1589
01:06:26,631 --> 01:06:28,041
‐ Okay.

1590
01:06:28,041 --> 01:06:32,511
Well, if it should magically
appear on my dresser,

1591
01:06:32,511 --> 01:06:34,511
there will be no questions asked.

1592
01:06:34,511 --> 01:06:35,761
‐ Okay.
TIPPER: Okay.

1593
01:06:43,811 --> 01:06:46,311
‐ [ sighs ] Um...

1594
01:06:46,311 --> 01:06:47,521
Hey, Ted.

1595
01:06:48,611 --> 01:06:51,741
I just wanted to mention‐‐

1596
01:06:51,741 --> 01:06:54,991
everything that happened yesterday
was a complete misunderstanding.

1597
01:06:54,991 --> 01:06:56,491
You know, I would never, ever‐‐

1598
01:06:56,491 --> 01:06:58,741
You‐you don't‐‐ You don't have to explain.

1599
01:06:58,741 --> 01:07:01,161
Let's just avoid
any further incidents, yes?

1600
01:07:01,161 --> 01:07:02,911
‐ Yeah. Yes.
TED: Okay.

1601
01:07:02,911 --> 01:07:05,461
‐ Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas Eve.
TED: Oh.

1602
01:07:05,461 --> 01:07:07,461
‐ [ chuckles ] Hey, Abby.
ABBY: Hey.

1603
01:07:07,461 --> 01:07:09,461
‐ Look at what this little elf brought in.

1604
01:07:09,461 --> 01:07:11,301
[ squeals ]
ABBY: Wow. What is that?

1605
01:07:11,301 --> 01:07:13,051
‐ This is my masterpiece.

1606
01:07:13,051 --> 01:07:15,551
Whoever picks it is gonna be very pleased.

1607
01:07:15,551 --> 01:07:16,971
‐ Oh, Jane, I'm so glad you're here.

1608
01:07:16,971 --> 01:07:18,301
The printer's jammed again.

1609
01:07:18,301 --> 01:07:20,311
‐ Oh, okay. I'm on it.

1610
01:07:32,321 --> 01:07:34,941
‐ Hey.
‐ Hey.

1611
01:07:34,941 --> 01:07:36,741
What'd you do today?

1612
01:07:36,741 --> 01:07:40,071
‐ I just went and got
a white elephant gift.

1613
01:07:40,071 --> 01:07:41,411
‐ Oh.

1614
01:07:41,411 --> 01:07:42,871
In town?

1615
01:07:42,871 --> 01:07:44,201
‐ Yeah.

1616
01:07:44,201 --> 01:07:45,621
‐ How'd you get there?

1617
01:07:45,621 --> 01:07:46,711
‐ Has Jane arrived yet?

1618
01:07:46,711 --> 01:07:49,541
‐ Yeah, Jane's in Ted's office with him.

1619
01:07:49,541 --> 01:07:51,421
TIPPER:
Jane, Ted, now!

1620
01:07:51,421 --> 01:07:54,051
Nice of you two to join us.
Where are the twins?

1621
01:07:54,051 --> 01:07:56,761
‐ They don't feel like having
their picture taken tonight.

1622
01:07:56,761 --> 01:07:59,301
‐ [ Tipper sighs ]

1623
01:07:59,301 --> 01:08:01,811
TIPPER:
Harper, come with me.

1624
01:08:02,851 --> 01:08:05,311
♪ upbeat holiday music ♪

1625
01:08:07,941 --> 01:08:09,441
SLOANE:
It's really a break from

1626
01:08:09,441 --> 01:08:12,571
traditional gifting
and a move into the extraordinary.

1627
01:08:12,571 --> 01:08:15,241
The vessels are curated
for each individual.

1628
01:08:15,241 --> 01:08:17,861
We'd be happy to mindfully assemble‐‐
TED: Uh, S‐Sloane was

1629
01:08:17,861 --> 01:08:21,571
on track to make partner at her firm
before she left to start a family.

1630
01:08:21,571 --> 01:08:22,741
She's our super mom,

1631
01:08:22,741 --> 01:08:27,161
Harper is our powerhouse, and, uh, Jane...

1632
01:08:27,161 --> 01:08:29,871
i‐is the only reason
the Internet ever works in this house.

1633
01:08:29,871 --> 01:08:31,331
‐ [ laughing ]
JANE: Aw.

1634
01:08:31,331 --> 01:08:33,171
I have a way with routers.

1635
01:08:35,051 --> 01:08:36,801
ERIC:
Excuse me, all.

1636
01:08:36,801 --> 01:08:38,971
Uh, the twins have prepared
a little song for you.

1637
01:08:38,971 --> 01:08:40,261
HARPER:
Oh.

1638
01:08:40,261 --> 01:08:42,721
[ piano playing "Silent Night" ]

1639
01:08:45,391 --> 01:08:48,641
‐ ♪ Silent night ♪

1640
01:08:48,641 --> 01:08:51,481
♪ Holy night ♪

1641
01:08:51,481 --> 01:08:53,521
♪ All is calm... ♪

1642
01:08:53,521 --> 01:08:55,611
‐ What are you drinking?

1643
01:08:55,611 --> 01:08:57,821
‐ Oh, it's a spiced... alcohol.

1644
01:08:57,821 --> 01:09:00,241
‐ Gross. Can I have some?
‐ Yeah.

1645
01:09:00,241 --> 01:09:03,371
KIDS:
♪ Mother and child... ♪

1646
01:09:03,371 --> 01:09:05,871
‐Mm‐hmm.
‐ So, Plort is the leader
of the Shadow Dreamers.

1647
01:09:05,871 --> 01:09:07,911
He's half human, half Quazzle.
‐ Mm‐hmm. Mm‐hmm.

1648
01:09:07,911 --> 01:09:10,331
‐ He's got the eyes of a Verg
but the heart of a Zengle.

1649
01:09:10,331 --> 01:09:12,251
The Verg comes from his mother's side,
generations back.

1650
01:09:12,251 --> 01:09:14,041
SLOANE:
If you want the spa package vessel,

1651
01:09:14,041 --> 01:09:15,881
you could do edible bubble bath.
‐ Excuse me, Sloane.

1652
01:09:15,881 --> 01:09:18,011
Uh, Harry wants to meet the twins.

1653
01:09:18,011 --> 01:09:19,381
‐ I'll find them.
TED: Okay.

1654
01:09:19,381 --> 01:09:20,721
‐ Excuse me.

1655
01:09:20,721 --> 01:09:23,601
‐ You know?
Thing is, my parents were so attached

1656
01:09:23,601 --> 01:09:28,061
to me believing in Santa Claus
that even after years go by

1657
01:09:28,061 --> 01:09:30,101
and I stop believing in Santa Claus,

1658
01:09:30,101 --> 01:09:32,271
and they knew that I stopped
believing in Santa Claus,

1659
01:09:32,271 --> 01:09:34,271
we just kept that charade going.

1660
01:09:34,271 --> 01:09:37,481
Their investment in it just made me feel
so bad for them, you know?

1661
01:09:37,481 --> 01:09:39,031
‐ Mm‐hmm.

1662
01:09:40,071 --> 01:09:42,411
Yeah.

1663
01:09:42,411 --> 01:09:44,451
‐ Like, so bad for them that...

1664
01:09:44,451 --> 01:09:47,741
you know, that I eventually
just murdered them.

1665
01:09:47,741 --> 01:09:48,911
‐ That sounds fun.
‐ Mm.

1666
01:09:48,911 --> 01:09:50,371
Okay.

1667
01:09:51,411 --> 01:09:53,041
What is happening?

1668
01:09:53,041 --> 01:09:54,501
CONNOR:
Hey, you guys.

1669
01:09:54,501 --> 01:09:56,171
HARPER:
Connor, you made it.

1670
01:09:56,171 --> 01:09:57,881
JANE: Hi. Merry Christmas. Hi.
CONNOR: Hey, guys. Merry Christmas.

1671
01:09:57,881 --> 01:09:59,711
Good to see you. Hi.
‐ [ Abby sighs ]

1672
01:09:59,711 --> 01:10:02,131
CONNOR: Merry Christmas.
‐ I don't know.

1673
01:10:04,181 --> 01:10:05,971
Yesterday, I'd never felt closer

1674
01:10:05,971 --> 01:10:08,351
to another person
in my entire life, and now I...

1675
01:10:08,351 --> 01:10:11,061
I don't know her.

1676
01:10:11,061 --> 01:10:14,481
And I thought she loved me
and was happy, but I...

1677
01:10:14,481 --> 01:10:18,521
I‐I see her here, and she's so terrified
of what everyone thinks,

1678
01:10:18,521 --> 01:10:20,861
and it's just making me wonder
who the real Harper is.

1679
01:10:20,861 --> 01:10:22,901
You know?

1680
01:10:22,901 --> 01:10:24,951
‐ Well, maybe they both are.

1681
01:10:28,241 --> 01:10:30,241
‐ I was gonna ask her
to marry me tomorrow.

1682
01:10:37,131 --> 01:10:40,131
‐ Um, I'm gonna get you a real drink.

1683
01:10:40,131 --> 01:10:41,971
Okay?

1684
01:10:45,391 --> 01:10:46,641
JOHN: [ whispers ]
Abby.

1685
01:10:46,641 --> 01:10:48,431
Abby! [ clears throat ]

1686
01:10:48,431 --> 01:10:50,471
Sorry. What?

1687
01:10:51,471 --> 01:10:52,641
ABBY:
Um...

1688
01:10:53,851 --> 01:10:55,101
How are you here?

1689
01:10:55,101 --> 01:10:56,521
‐ When are you gonna get this?

1690
01:10:56,521 --> 01:10:58,271
I have been tracking you.

1691
01:10:58,271 --> 01:10:59,651
Mm, mm, mm, mm. [ clears throat ]

1692
01:10:59,651 --> 01:11:00,861
‐ Hello.

1693
01:11:00,861 --> 01:11:01,861
‐ Hi.

1694
01:11:01,861 --> 01:11:02,901
TIPPER:
I'm Tipper.

1695
01:11:02,901 --> 01:11:04,491
This is my home.
JOHN: Oh.

1696
01:11:04,491 --> 01:11:06,241
‐ Are you the ex‐boyfriend?

1697
01:11:10,911 --> 01:11:13,751
‐ [ clears throat ] Y‐Yes. I am John,

1698
01:11:13,751 --> 01:11:16,371
Abby's heterosexual ex‐boyfriend,

1699
01:11:16,371 --> 01:11:19,461
and I have come to get her back.

1700
01:11:19,461 --> 01:11:21,001
TIPPER:
Mm. I see.

1701
01:11:21,001 --> 01:11:24,841
Well, it would've been nice
to have known you were coming,

1702
01:11:24,841 --> 01:11:28,341
but since you are here, enjoy.

1703
01:11:28,341 --> 01:11:30,351
JOHN:
Thank you so much.

1704
01:11:31,811 --> 01:11:34,141
Okay, I nailed that, and she is fabulous.

1705
01:11:34,141 --> 01:11:35,391
‐ What are you doing?

1706
01:11:35,391 --> 01:11:38,191
‐ That phone call earlier
was a cry for help.

1707
01:11:38,191 --> 01:11:40,651
I'm here to rescue you.
Please get your things.

1708
01:11:40,651 --> 01:11:42,651
‐ [ sighs ]

1709
01:11:45,321 --> 01:11:46,491
‐ Is that the ex‐boyfriend?

1710
01:11:46,491 --> 01:11:47,951
‐ [ indistinct conversation ]

1711
01:11:47,951 --> 01:11:49,411
‐ [ gasps ] Oh, my God.

1712
01:11:50,581 --> 01:11:52,581
‐ I mean, I guess he's handsome. I‐‐

1713
01:11:52,581 --> 01:11:54,581
Can we please go?

1714
01:11:59,671 --> 01:12:01,211
‐ Harper.

1715
01:12:01,211 --> 01:12:02,671
It's over.

1716
01:12:02,671 --> 01:12:04,211
I'm done.

1717
01:12:10,301 --> 01:12:12,311
‐ I'm just gonna...

1718
01:12:13,391 --> 01:12:16,061
‐ Everybody, please take your seats.

1719
01:12:16,061 --> 01:12:18,901
We're ready to begin white elephant.

1720
01:12:20,651 --> 01:12:22,111
HARPER:
Abby. Hey.

1721
01:12:22,111 --> 01:12:23,441
Can we just talk for a second?

1722
01:12:23,441 --> 01:12:25,231
‐ No. I got to go. I‐I can't‐‐

1723
01:12:25,231 --> 01:12:26,821
I can't do this for you anymore.

1724
01:12:26,821 --> 01:12:28,571
But, uh, merry Christmas.

1725
01:12:28,571 --> 01:12:32,031
Enjoy your family, and enjoy Connor.

1726
01:12:32,031 --> 01:12:35,161
‐ What? What?
No, I don't‐‐ I don't want him.

1727
01:12:35,161 --> 01:12:36,751
I don't want Connor.

1728
01:12:36,751 --> 01:12:37,911
I want you.

1729
01:12:37,911 --> 01:12:39,081
‐ Then what was that?

1730
01:12:39,081 --> 01:12:40,791
‐ I don't know.

1731
01:12:40,791 --> 01:12:43,631
Why are you huddled
in a corner with Riley?

1732
01:12:43,631 --> 01:12:45,961
‐ None of this has anything
to do with Riley.

1733
01:12:45,961 --> 01:12:48,381
This is all happening
because of you, Harper.

1734
01:12:48,381 --> 01:12:51,971
You not telling your parents about us
is a choice that you made.

1735
01:12:51,971 --> 01:12:53,931
‐ It is not that simple.
ABBY: Do you know how painful

1736
01:12:53,931 --> 01:12:58,391
it's been to watch the person
that I love choose to hide me?

1737
01:12:58,391 --> 01:13:00,901
‐ I am not hiding you. I am hiding me.

1738
01:13:01,941 --> 01:13:03,771
Okay?

1739
01:13:03,771 --> 01:13:06,861
Our entire life,
we have been expected to be

1740
01:13:06,861 --> 01:13:10,821
these perfect, golden children.

1741
01:13:11,991 --> 01:13:15,541
I mean, love in our house wasn't
something we just got for free.

1742
01:13:15,541 --> 01:13:17,121
It is something that we competed for,

1743
01:13:17,121 --> 01:13:19,541
and if we veered
off their course, we lost it.

1744
01:13:21,041 --> 01:13:23,291
I‐I know it's messed up, okay?

1745
01:13:23,291 --> 01:13:24,961
I get it.

1746
01:13:24,961 --> 01:13:26,631
But they're my parents,

1747
01:13:26,631 --> 01:13:29,131
and I am scared that if
I tell them who I really am,

1748
01:13:29,131 --> 01:13:31,301
I will lose them.

1749
01:13:31,301 --> 01:13:34,931
And I know, if I don't tell them,
I will lose you.

1750
01:13:36,971 --> 01:13:38,981
I don't want to lose you.

1751
01:13:41,231 --> 01:13:42,561
‐ Hey, come here. Come here.

1752
01:13:42,561 --> 01:13:44,311
‐ No, I don't want to lose you.
‐ No, no.

1753
01:13:44,311 --> 01:13:46,271
Look at me. Come here.
Look at me. It's okay.

1754
01:13:46,271 --> 01:13:48,361
‐ I don't‐‐
‐ Hey, stop.

1755
01:13:50,031 --> 01:13:52,411
HARPER: I don't want to lose you.
ABBY: You're not.

1756
01:13:57,411 --> 01:13:59,791
SLOANE:
Matilda and Magnus...

1757
01:14:03,331 --> 01:14:05,251
TIPPER:
If you want a present... [ laughs ]

1758
01:14:05,251 --> 01:14:07,251
you better have a number.

1759
01:14:07,251 --> 01:14:08,631
‐ [ clears throat ] 'Sup?

1760
01:14:08,631 --> 01:14:10,011
‐ 'Sup?

1761
01:14:10,011 --> 01:14:11,551
TIPPER:
Anybody else?

1762
01:14:11,551 --> 01:14:12,841
‐ [ chuckles ]

1763
01:14:12,841 --> 01:14:14,841
‐ You pump?

1764
01:14:15,971 --> 01:14:18,511
‐ I'm sorry?
‐ Weights.

1765
01:14:18,511 --> 01:14:20,391
‐ Oh.
‐ Yeah.

1766
01:14:21,521 --> 01:14:23,481
‐ Yeah.

1767
01:14:23,481 --> 01:14:25,901
You?
‐ Yeah. Yeah.

1768
01:14:27,021 --> 01:14:29,031
‐ What do you bench?
‐ [ sighs ]

1769
01:14:30,111 --> 01:14:32,111
Thousand. Thou‐Thousand, plus.

1770
01:14:32,111 --> 01:14:34,161
TIPPER:
All right. Everybody have your numbers?

1771
01:14:34,161 --> 01:14:35,781
SLOANE: Kids?
‐ Sloane, Sloane, Sloane!

1772
01:14:35,781 --> 01:14:37,371
‐ Hmm? Yeah?
‐ Can we just talk for a sec?

1773
01:14:37,371 --> 01:14:39,371
‐ Oh, what's there to talk about?
You and Abby are in

1774
01:14:39,371 --> 01:14:41,201
a romantic relationship,
and you've been lying

1775
01:14:41,201 --> 01:14:42,961
to the family about it
for God knows how long.

1776
01:14:42,961 --> 01:14:44,541
Does that sound about right, or‐‐

1777
01:14:44,541 --> 01:14:48,251
‐ Just, uh, please don't tell
Mom and Dad yet.

1778
01:14:48,251 --> 01:14:50,551
‐ [ chuckles softly ]
‐ Please, Sloane.

1779
01:14:50,551 --> 01:14:52,881
I'm telling them after the holidays.

1780
01:14:59,511 --> 01:15:01,471
‐ [ chuckles ]

1781
01:15:01,471 --> 01:15:02,811
Just rip it.

1782
01:15:02,811 --> 01:15:04,691
HARPER:
Please promise me you won't say anything.

1783
01:15:04,691 --> 01:15:07,101
Now is just very bad timing,

1784
01:15:07,101 --> 01:15:09,191
and I'm telling them everything
after the holidays anyways.

1785
01:15:09,191 --> 01:15:10,731
‐ Honestly, I feel sorry for you.

1786
01:15:10,731 --> 01:15:12,361
Mom and Dad are gonna be so heartbroken

1787
01:15:12,361 --> 01:15:14,361
when they find out
you've been lying to them.
[ clattering ]

1788
01:15:14,361 --> 01:15:16,571
‐ Sloane, if you‐‐
‐ [ gasps ] Wait. Kids?

1789
01:15:16,571 --> 01:15:18,911
Found you!
‐ [ gasping ]

1790
01:15:18,911 --> 01:15:20,121
HARPER:
Oh.

1791
01:15:20,121 --> 01:15:21,331
‐ Are you kidding me?

1792
01:15:21,331 --> 01:15:23,661
No one's supposed to know yet.

1793
01:15:23,661 --> 01:15:25,411
We had an agreement.

1794
01:15:25,411 --> 01:15:26,921
‐ I'm sorry.

1795
01:15:26,921 --> 01:15:29,591
‐ I guess I'm not
the only one with a secret.

1796
01:15:31,501 --> 01:15:33,131
‐ [ Sloane screams ]

1797
01:15:33,131 --> 01:15:34,551
‐ Wow.
‐ Yeah.

1798
01:15:34,551 --> 01:15:36,431
‐ Yeah, that is‐‐ That's‐that's good mass.

1799
01:15:36,431 --> 01:15:38,051
That is solid.
‐ Yeah. Thanks, man.

1800
01:15:38,051 --> 01:15:40,301
JANE:
Oh, my God. They all look so nice.

1801
01:15:40,301 --> 01:15:42,141
‐ Just choose, Jane.
‐ [ chuckles ]

1802
01:15:42,141 --> 01:15:43,931
‐ Eeny, meeny, mi‐‐

1803
01:15:43,931 --> 01:15:45,481
[ laughs ] I'm just kidding.

1804
01:15:45,481 --> 01:15:46,481
‐ [ grunting ]

1805
01:15:46,481 --> 01:15:48,901
‐ You have no idea what goes on
in other people's families,

1806
01:15:48,901 --> 01:15:50,981
so you need to just keep your mouth shut!

1807
01:15:50,981 --> 01:15:53,441
HARPER:
You keep your mouth shut, psycho!

1808
01:15:53,441 --> 01:15:55,361
‐ I should run. Yeah.
‐ Yeah.

1809
01:15:57,411 --> 01:15:59,161
‐ Levi. [ clears throat ] We should‐‐

1810
01:15:59,161 --> 01:16:01,241
JANE:
Huh. I wonder what this one is.

1811
01:16:02,661 --> 01:16:05,291
‐ Abby, get the Santa.
‐ [ strained grunt ]

1812
01:16:05,291 --> 01:16:07,121
‐ I mean‐‐
‐ You stay out of this, Sappho.

1813
01:16:07,121 --> 01:16:08,171
‐ I would‐‐

1814
01:16:08,171 --> 01:16:09,881
‐ [ grunting ]

1815
01:16:09,881 --> 01:16:12,171
‐ I don't know what this is.

1816
01:16:12,171 --> 01:16:14,461
It's big.
‐ [ laughter ]

1817
01:16:14,461 --> 01:16:16,011
‐ [ grunting, screaming ]
‐ Oh!

1818
01:16:18,511 --> 01:16:20,261
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
‐ [ gasping ]

1819
01:16:20,261 --> 01:16:21,801
‐ Oh, gosh.

1820
01:16:21,801 --> 01:16:23,811
Here, help me out here.

1821
01:16:25,311 --> 01:16:27,521
What‐what‐what‐‐ Wh‐What is this?

1822
01:16:27,521 --> 01:16:29,851
‐ It's a painting of Main Street.

1823
01:16:29,851 --> 01:16:30,771
I made it.

1824
01:16:30,771 --> 01:16:32,361
‐ I love that.

1825
01:16:32,361 --> 01:16:34,111
[ clearing throat ]

1826
01:16:35,941 --> 01:16:37,741
SLOANE:
No! No, no, no!

1827
01:16:37,741 --> 01:16:40,161
[ screams ] I'll kill you!

1828
01:16:40,161 --> 01:16:41,201
‐ [ guests murmuring ]
SLOANE: I'll kill you!

1829
01:16:41,201 --> 01:16:42,701
TED: What are you doing?
TIPPER: Girls!

1830
01:16:42,701 --> 01:16:44,951
What is going on?

1831
01:16:44,951 --> 01:16:46,411
‐ Yeah, what is going on?

1832
01:16:46,411 --> 01:16:48,461
Harper, do you want
to tell them, or should I?

1833
01:16:48,461 --> 01:16:49,961
‐ Don't, Sloane!
SLOANE: Why?

1834
01:16:49,961 --> 01:16:51,131
It's not good timing?

1835
01:16:51,131 --> 01:16:52,211
‐ [ grunts ]
‐ [ guests gasp ]

1836
01:16:52,211 --> 01:16:53,921
‐ Girls, stop that this instant!

1837
01:16:53,921 --> 01:16:55,501
‐ Come on, guys. Just hug it out.

1838
01:16:55,501 --> 01:16:56,671
BOTH:
Shut up, Jane!

1839
01:16:56,671 --> 01:16:58,381
‐ Don't do this, Sloane.

1840
01:16:58,381 --> 01:17:00,841
‐ All this because you're scared
to not be the favorite.

1841
01:17:00,841 --> 01:17:01,891
Pathetic.

1842
01:17:01,891 --> 01:17:03,051
‐ Sloane, you're making a scene!

1843
01:17:03,051 --> 01:17:04,101
SLOANE:
I am?

1844
01:17:04,101 --> 01:17:06,471
You think she's so innocent?

1845
01:17:07,601 --> 01:17:10,641
All of this is happening
because Harper is‐‐

1846
01:17:10,641 --> 01:17:12,771
‐ [ guests gasp, scream ]

1847
01:17:12,771 --> 01:17:13,861
‐ [ panting ]

1848
01:17:15,321 --> 01:17:17,441
‐ Harper is a lesbian.

1849
01:17:17,441 --> 01:17:19,451
Abby's her girlfriend.

1850
01:17:31,791 --> 01:17:33,001
‐ She is lying.

1851
01:17:35,001 --> 01:17:36,301
I am not a lesbian.

1852
01:17:36,301 --> 01:17:40,091
Sloane is the one that has this big‐‐

1853
01:18:07,621 --> 01:18:09,581
[ grunting in frustration ]
TED: No!

1854
01:18:09,581 --> 01:18:11,791
‐ [ Harper screams ]
‐ [ guests gasping, shouting ]

1855
01:18:11,791 --> 01:18:13,751
‐ Harper!
‐ [ Sloane and Harper screaming ]

1856
01:18:13,751 --> 01:18:15,881
‐ Stop it! Goddamn it, stop it!
HARRY: Oh, my.

1857
01:18:15,881 --> 01:18:17,001
JANE:
No!

1858
01:18:17,001 --> 01:18:19,001
Enough!

1859
01:18:19,001 --> 01:18:20,341
‐ [ both panting ]

1860
01:18:20,341 --> 01:18:25,141
‐ I put 100 hours
into that painting, and you...

1861
01:18:25,141 --> 01:18:28,391
you just destroyed it like it was nothing.

1862
01:18:30,561 --> 01:18:31,981
It was something.

1863
01:18:33,351 --> 01:18:35,861
I am something.

1864
01:18:37,111 --> 01:18:38,611
And guess what.

1865
01:18:38,611 --> 01:18:39,981
I like myself.

1866
01:18:39,981 --> 01:18:44,451
And maybe you all don't
because I'm not fancy.

1867
01:18:45,661 --> 01:18:48,871
But whether you like it or not,
I'm a part of this family,

1868
01:18:48,871 --> 01:18:51,411
and I will not be left out anymore!

1869
01:18:51,411 --> 01:18:52,711
‐ [ screaming ]
‐ No!

1870
01:18:52,711 --> 01:18:55,371
‐ [ guests gasping ]

1871
01:18:56,581 --> 01:18:57,921
‐ Stop it, girls!

1872
01:18:57,921 --> 01:18:59,921
‐ [ groaning ]
TIPPER: Stop this right now.

1873
01:18:59,921 --> 01:19:01,091
JANE:
Guys, you keep ripping it more!

1874
01:19:01,091 --> 01:19:03,551
TIPPER:
Kids, what are you doing back there?

1875
01:19:03,551 --> 01:19:06,221
MAGNUS: Playing hide‐and‐seek
like Abby and Aunt Harper.

1876
01:19:07,431 --> 01:19:09,681
‐ [ sighs, sniffles ]

1877
01:19:13,271 --> 01:19:15,271
[ footsteps approaching ]

1878
01:19:19,321 --> 01:19:21,651
[ sighs, sniffles ]

1879
01:19:22,781 --> 01:19:24,201
JOHN:
Abby?

1880
01:19:24,201 --> 01:19:25,701
‐ [ Abby groans ]

1881
01:19:29,741 --> 01:19:31,621
‐ Want to go for a walk?

1882
01:19:32,661 --> 01:19:33,911
Okay.

1883
01:19:34,961 --> 01:19:36,751
Okay.

1884
01:19:36,751 --> 01:19:38,831
Come on.

1885
01:19:38,831 --> 01:19:40,751
ABBY:
My parents loved Christmas.

1886
01:19:41,841 --> 01:19:43,171
We would do all the stuff.

1887
01:19:43,171 --> 01:19:45,471
We would decorate and...

1888
01:19:45,471 --> 01:19:47,891
do the tree and watch, like,
every Christmas movie.

1889
01:19:52,471 --> 01:19:56,231
After they died, I‐I couldn't really
bring myself to acknowledge Christmas.

1890
01:19:56,231 --> 01:19:57,771
JOHN:
Hmm.

1891
01:19:59,651 --> 01:20:03,321
‐ The holidays were just
a huge reminder of...

1892
01:20:03,321 --> 01:20:05,861
them not being here.

1893
01:20:08,031 --> 01:20:10,321
So I really thought
maybe this year with...

1894
01:20:10,321 --> 01:20:14,911
with Harper and meeting
her family, you know,

1895
01:20:14,911 --> 01:20:16,791
that it would just feel different.

1896
01:20:22,841 --> 01:20:24,511
[ sniffles ]

1897
01:20:24,511 --> 01:20:27,591
I don't‐‐ I don't think that she...

1898
01:20:27,591 --> 01:20:29,591
loves me as much as I thought she did.

1899
01:20:29,591 --> 01:20:31,261
‐ Hey.

1900
01:20:32,351 --> 01:20:37,351
Harper not coming out to her parents
has nothing to do with you.

1901
01:20:37,351 --> 01:20:40,351
‐ [ trembling ] How could it not?

1902
01:20:42,311 --> 01:20:46,111
‐ Remind me, what did your parents say
when you told them you were gay?

1903
01:20:47,321 --> 01:20:51,201
‐ Um, that they loved and supported me.

1904
01:20:52,371 --> 01:20:54,581
‐ That's amazing.

1905
01:20:58,001 --> 01:21:00,421
My dad...

1906
01:21:00,421 --> 01:21:02,251
kicked me out of the house

1907
01:21:02,251 --> 01:21:04,961
and didn't talk to me
for 13 years after I told him.

1908
01:21:06,881 --> 01:21:09,301
Everybody's story is different.

1909
01:21:10,681 --> 01:21:12,971
There's your version

1910
01:21:12,971 --> 01:21:17,021
and my version and everything in between.

1911
01:21:19,641 --> 01:21:22,941
But the one thing that
all of those stories have in common

1912
01:21:22,941 --> 01:21:27,441
is that moment
right before you say those words,

1913
01:21:27,441 --> 01:21:30,531
when your heart is racing

1914
01:21:30,531 --> 01:21:32,821
and you don't know what's coming next.

1915
01:21:35,781 --> 01:21:37,791
That moment's really terrifying.

1916
01:21:39,461 --> 01:21:41,621
And then once you say those words,

1917
01:21:41,621 --> 01:21:44,041
you can't unsay them.

1918
01:21:44,041 --> 01:21:48,421
A chapter has ended,
and a new one's begun,

1919
01:21:48,421 --> 01:21:52,591
and you have to be ready for that.

1920
01:21:52,591 --> 01:21:54,801
You can't do it for anyone else.

1921
01:21:56,721 --> 01:21:59,641
Just because Harper isn't ready,

1922
01:21:59,641 --> 01:22:02,191
it doesn't mean she never will be,

1923
01:22:02,191 --> 01:22:04,101
and it doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

1924
01:22:04,101 --> 01:22:05,771
‐ [ sniffles ]

1925
01:22:08,361 --> 01:22:09,901
[ sniffles ]

1926
01:22:09,901 --> 01:22:13,451
I‐I want to be with someone who is ready.

1927
01:22:13,451 --> 01:22:15,371
‐ Mm.

1928
01:22:28,051 --> 01:22:30,591
You look great in this coat.

1929
01:22:30,591 --> 01:22:32,511
GUEST: Merry Christmas. Thank you.
SLOANE: Thank you.

1930
01:22:32,511 --> 01:22:35,091
‐ [ quiet chatter ]

1931
01:22:36,141 --> 01:22:37,891
RILEY:
Just wait for me in the car.

1932
01:22:44,481 --> 01:22:45,691
Great party.

1933
01:22:46,731 --> 01:22:48,321
‐ Yeah.

1934
01:22:48,321 --> 01:22:49,441
‐ You okay?

1935
01:22:53,071 --> 01:22:54,911
‐ I'm so sorry.

1936
01:22:57,121 --> 01:22:58,991
‐ [ sighs ]

1937
01:23:02,121 --> 01:23:04,291
Merry Christmas.

1938
01:23:05,871 --> 01:23:07,631
‐ Merry Christmas.

1939
01:23:12,551 --> 01:23:14,381
‐ She's a really good one.

1940
01:23:14,381 --> 01:23:16,221
‐ [ chuckles ] Yeah.

1941
01:23:20,261 --> 01:23:21,471
‐ Riley.
‐ Sloane.

1942
01:23:27,651 --> 01:23:29,521
‐ I'm sorry.

1943
01:23:30,731 --> 01:23:32,901
Okay, come on. Let's get you two to bed.

1944
01:23:34,991 --> 01:23:37,241
‐ Thank you, Ms. Levin, for coming,

1945
01:23:37,241 --> 01:23:41,491
and again, my apologies for the spectacle.

1946
01:23:41,491 --> 01:23:43,251
‐ I'll call you.

1947
01:23:50,461 --> 01:23:52,461
‐ What the hell happened tonight?

1948
01:23:52,461 --> 01:23:54,971
Even as children,
you never behaved this badly.

1949
01:23:54,971 --> 01:23:57,891
I expected more from you,
especially you, Harper.

1950
01:23:57,891 --> 01:23:59,931
You know how this world works.

1951
01:23:59,931 --> 01:24:04,351
Reputation is everything,
and tonight you jeopardized mine.

1952
01:24:04,351 --> 01:24:07,191
Jane, I know you‐you just
wanted to be included.

1953
01:24:07,191 --> 01:24:08,481
‐ It was really nice.

1954
01:24:08,481 --> 01:24:12,441
‐ Sloane, making up lies
about your sister.

1955
01:24:12,441 --> 01:24:13,821
You're better than that.

1956
01:24:13,821 --> 01:24:16,281
At least you used to be.

1957
01:24:18,861 --> 01:24:20,991
‐ Sorry, I'm‐I'm just getting my stuff.

1958
01:24:20,991 --> 01:24:23,081
‐ Wait, Abby.

1959
01:24:23,081 --> 01:24:24,701
Wait.

1960
01:24:25,911 --> 01:24:27,161
[ sighs ]

1961
01:24:27,161 --> 01:24:29,171
Sloane wasn't lying.

1962
01:24:30,751 --> 01:24:32,251
I'm gay.

1963
01:24:36,841 --> 01:24:39,761
And I am in love with Abby.

1964
01:24:41,971 --> 01:24:43,971
I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner,

1965
01:24:43,971 --> 01:24:47,521
but I know how much appearances
and reputation matter to you,

1966
01:24:47,521 --> 01:24:50,811
and me being gay just didn't...

1967
01:24:50,811 --> 01:24:53,231
fit into the plan.

1968
01:24:53,231 --> 01:24:57,151
But I...

1969
01:24:57,151 --> 01:25:00,361
let myself hurt Riley...

1970
01:25:02,161 --> 01:25:05,161
...because I was so scared
that you would find out

1971
01:25:05,161 --> 01:25:07,411
I wasn't who you wanted me to be.

1972
01:25:08,501 --> 01:25:10,291
And...

1973
01:25:10,291 --> 01:25:12,881
I still regret it.

1974
01:25:14,171 --> 01:25:17,881
I can't do that to Abby... [ chuckles ]

1975
01:25:19,931 --> 01:25:21,721
[ crying ] ...and throw away...

1976
01:25:23,101 --> 01:25:24,681
...our life together.

1977
01:25:27,641 --> 01:25:32,401
So I am done being scared,

1978
01:25:32,401 --> 01:25:34,901
and I am done keeping secrets.

1979
01:25:37,071 --> 01:25:38,821
I love you.

1980
01:26:03,051 --> 01:26:05,471
‐ Eric and I are getting a divorce.

1981
01:26:06,721 --> 01:26:09,681
We separated a few months ago.

1982
01:26:10,931 --> 01:26:12,981
And the truth is I didn't tell you

1983
01:26:12,981 --> 01:26:15,231
because without my family
I'm worthless to you.

1984
01:26:16,901 --> 01:26:22,151
We've spent our entire lives
trying to earn your love,

1985
01:26:22,151 --> 01:26:24,161
and I'm done, too.

1986
01:26:30,871 --> 01:26:34,371
‐ I don't have any secrets,
but I am an ally.

1987
01:26:43,551 --> 01:26:44,971
[ distant door closes ]

1988
01:26:49,061 --> 01:26:51,601
‐ I'm gonna go.

1989
01:26:51,601 --> 01:26:54,191
‐ Wait. No, no.

1990
01:26:54,191 --> 01:26:56,191
[ sighing ]

1991
01:26:57,981 --> 01:26:59,901
I did it.

1992
01:27:00,901 --> 01:27:02,611
‐ Mm‐hmm.

1993
01:27:04,321 --> 01:27:06,871
I'm sorry.

1994
01:27:06,871 --> 01:27:09,491
Uh, it's just too late.

1995
01:27:26,431 --> 01:27:28,431
‐ [ sobs softly ]

1996
01:27:48,701 --> 01:27:50,701
‐ [ takes deep breath ]

1997
01:27:52,621 --> 01:27:56,751
I have always wanted to try karate,

1998
01:27:56,751 --> 01:27:58,751
even though I know it's not elegant.

1999
01:27:58,751 --> 01:28:01,041
I hate flowers.

2000
01:28:01,041 --> 01:28:02,711
‐ I see what you're doing.

2001
01:28:02,711 --> 01:28:07,381
‐ We have been so worried
about seeming perfect.

2002
01:28:09,051 --> 01:28:13,021
But maybe we don't even know
what perfect is.

2003
01:28:14,061 --> 01:28:16,391
We have one daughter

2004
01:28:16,391 --> 01:28:20,401
who has been unhappy in a marriage
and felt like she couldn't tell us,

2005
01:28:20,401 --> 01:28:23,691
and another daughter who...

2006
01:28:23,691 --> 01:28:27,361
[ crying ] just had her heart broken

2007
01:28:27,361 --> 01:28:30,281
because she was afraid

2008
01:28:30,281 --> 01:28:33,041
we wouldn't love her
if she told us the truth.

2009
01:28:33,041 --> 01:28:35,041
And... [ sniffles ]

2010
01:28:35,041 --> 01:28:38,671
the only reason that Jane is okay
is because we gave up on her

2011
01:28:38,671 --> 01:28:41,081
after she wouldn't stop
biting in preschool.

2012
01:28:41,081 --> 01:28:43,131
[ takes deep, gasping breath ]

2013
01:28:43,131 --> 01:28:45,211
That is...

2014
01:28:45,211 --> 01:28:49,431
very far from perfect, if you ask me.

2015
01:28:57,101 --> 01:28:59,021
‐ Thanks.

2016
01:28:59,021 --> 01:29:01,191
‐ I'm really sorry.

2017
01:29:01,191 --> 01:29:02,691
‐ I know.

2018
01:29:02,691 --> 01:29:04,441
Me, too.

2019
01:29:05,821 --> 01:29:08,201
And, Jane, I...

2020
01:29:08,201 --> 01:29:11,661
I'm so sorry about your painting.

2021
01:29:11,661 --> 01:29:13,451
It was really beautiful.

2022
01:29:13,451 --> 01:29:15,701
‐ It was.

2023
01:29:15,701 --> 01:29:17,871
‐ Thanks, guys.

2024
01:29:23,711 --> 01:29:26,711
‐ He just needs a little time.

2025
01:29:31,341 --> 01:29:33,971
JOHN:
Okay, listen to these ingredients:

2026
01:29:33,971 --> 01:29:35,311
maltodextrin,

2027
01:29:35,311 --> 01:29:38,021
autolyzed yeast extract,

2028
01:29:38,021 --> 01:29:40,891
artificial colors‐‐ Red 40 Lake,

2029
01:29:40,891 --> 01:29:44,151
Yellow 6 Lake, Yellow 6, Yellow 5.

2030
01:29:44,151 --> 01:29:46,861
Because all of the yellows
taste so different.

2031
01:29:46,861 --> 01:29:49,611
You know, I am disgusted at the poison

2032
01:29:49,611 --> 01:29:52,411
these corporations
try to pass off as food.

2033
01:29:54,241 --> 01:29:56,121
‐ Who's watching the animals?

2034
01:29:56,121 --> 01:29:58,331
‐ My therapist is taking care of them,
but we should have

2035
01:29:58,331 --> 01:30:01,291
a conversation about the fish
at some point.

2036
01:30:02,581 --> 01:30:04,751
‐ What happened to the fish?

2037
01:30:06,881 --> 01:30:08,881
‐ Let's look at gum.

2038
01:30:12,971 --> 01:30:15,181
Okay, so I just want to
preface this by saying that

2039
01:30:15,181 --> 01:30:17,101
nobody would disagree
that fish belong in the ocean.

2040
01:30:17,101 --> 01:30:18,601
Correct?
[ horn honking ]

2041
01:30:21,231 --> 01:30:23,061
‐ Abby.

2042
01:30:23,061 --> 01:30:24,561
‐ H‐How did you even‐‐

2043
01:30:24,561 --> 01:30:27,021
‐ I tracked you. John taught me.

2044
01:30:27,021 --> 01:30:28,481
‐ I just want to go home.

2045
01:30:28,481 --> 01:30:30,781
HARPER:
I know. I just‐‐

2046
01:30:30,781 --> 01:30:33,161
Please, let me say this.

2047
01:30:34,201 --> 01:30:36,451
You are my family.

2048
01:30:36,451 --> 01:30:40,451
I mean, you are the love of my life.

2049
01:30:40,451 --> 01:30:42,001
I was terrible.

2050
01:30:42,001 --> 01:30:44,461
And‐and I wish that
I could undo everything,

2051
01:30:44,461 --> 01:30:46,841
but I promise you
I will make it up to you.

2052
01:30:46,841 --> 01:30:50,211
I will spend the rest of my life
making it up to you.

2053
01:30:50,211 --> 01:30:52,881
And I won't hurt you like this again.

2054
01:30:55,011 --> 01:30:57,641
But please...

2055
01:30:57,641 --> 01:30:59,471
give me another chance.

2056
01:30:59,471 --> 01:31:01,931
I‐I want to build a life with you.

2057
01:31:03,981 --> 01:31:05,811
Please.

2058
01:31:07,811 --> 01:31:09,401
‐ And what about your parents? I‐‐

2059
01:31:09,401 --> 01:31:11,441
‐ No, no, I...

2060
01:31:11,441 --> 01:31:14,151
I don't care what they think.

2061
01:31:14,151 --> 01:31:16,531
I only care about you.

2062
01:31:17,871 --> 01:31:20,491
If I have you, that's all I need.

2063
01:31:22,791 --> 01:31:24,501
Be with me.

2064
01:31:31,131 --> 01:31:33,631
♪ uplifting music ♪

2065
01:31:35,431 --> 01:31:37,141
‐ [ chuckles ]

2066
01:31:52,571 --> 01:31:54,361
♪ upbeat holiday music ♪

2067
01:31:54,361 --> 01:31:55,781
JANE:
So, the Shadow Dreamers

2068
01:31:55,781 --> 01:31:58,241
were compelled to rise up against Flanks.

2069
01:31:58,241 --> 01:32:00,411
JOHN: Because of the blatant
Thorfian rights violations.

2070
01:32:00,411 --> 01:32:01,791
‐ Exactly.

2071
01:32:01,791 --> 01:32:02,871
‐ Good morning.

2072
01:32:02,871 --> 01:32:04,161
‐ Hey, morning. Merry Christmas.
‐ Hi.

2073
01:32:04,161 --> 01:32:06,121
‐ Morning.
HARPER: Hey, Mom.

2074
01:32:06,121 --> 01:32:08,001
‐ Hi.
‐ Hi.

2075
01:32:08,001 --> 01:32:09,211
ABBY:
How'd you sleep?

2076
01:32:09,211 --> 01:32:11,171
‐ Did he come down?

2077
01:32:11,171 --> 01:32:12,921
‐ No, not yet.

2078
01:32:12,921 --> 01:32:14,341
SLOANE:
Everyone.

2079
01:32:14,341 --> 01:32:15,551
Go ahead, kids.

2080
01:32:15,551 --> 01:32:18,341
‐ We put the necklace in Abby's bag.

2081
01:32:18,341 --> 01:32:19,971
MAGNUS:
We're sorry.

2082
01:32:19,971 --> 01:32:21,301
‐ Thank you.

2083
01:32:21,301 --> 01:32:23,391
‐ Can we open our stockings now?

2084
01:32:23,391 --> 01:32:25,231
‐ Yes.
‐ Let's go.

2085
01:32:25,231 --> 01:32:27,311
[ footsteps approaching ]

2086
01:32:33,901 --> 01:32:38,241
‐ Uh, I have sunk
almost all of our savings

2087
01:32:38,241 --> 01:32:40,241
into this campaign.

2088
01:32:40,241 --> 01:32:44,041
Because I thought, if I won,

2089
01:32:44,041 --> 01:32:46,041
you'd all be proud of me.

2090
01:32:46,041 --> 01:32:48,121
‐ We're already proud of you.

2091
01:32:48,121 --> 01:32:50,381
‐ We don't care if you win.

2092
01:32:50,381 --> 01:32:51,541
‐ Yeah.

2093
01:32:51,541 --> 01:32:53,461
And the money doesn't matter.

2094
01:32:53,461 --> 01:32:56,051
When I sell my book,
I'll take care of all of us.

2095
01:32:59,431 --> 01:33:02,221
‐ I love you, girls.

2096
01:33:02,221 --> 01:33:05,021
And I'm sorry for making you think

2097
01:33:05,021 --> 01:33:08,101
that anything could ever
get in the way of that.

2098
01:33:09,101 --> 01:33:10,771
I want to do better,

2099
01:33:10,771 --> 01:33:14,071
and it will take time,
but all I want for you

2100
01:33:14,071 --> 01:33:16,191
is to find the same joy and happiness

2101
01:33:16,191 --> 01:33:20,821
that you have given me,
no matter where it comes from.

2102
01:33:20,821 --> 01:33:22,821
‐ [ Tipper chuckling ]

2103
01:33:24,911 --> 01:33:26,701
JANE:
Aw.

2104
01:33:26,701 --> 01:33:29,581
TED: Mm.
‐ [ women laughing ]

2105
01:33:29,581 --> 01:33:32,671
[ "O Holy Night" instrumental playing ]

2106
01:33:41,431 --> 01:33:42,841
‐ Whoa!

2107
01:33:42,841 --> 01:33:44,141
‐ Smile.

2108
01:33:44,141 --> 01:33:45,511
Smile.

2109
01:33:45,511 --> 01:33:46,811
‐ Aw.
[ camera clicks ]

2110
01:33:46,811 --> 01:33:48,851
‐ You didn't think I knew
how to do that, did you?

2111
01:33:48,851 --> 01:33:49,851
‐ I‐‐ It's impressive.

2112
01:33:49,851 --> 01:33:51,771
♪ ♪

2113
01:34:07,371 --> 01:34:09,161
‐ Hello?
HARRY: Merry Christmas, Ted.

2114
01:34:09,161 --> 01:34:10,751
‐ Merry‐‐
HARRY: I'll get right to it.

2115
01:34:10,751 --> 01:34:13,291
I like you. I think you can win, too,

2116
01:34:13,291 --> 01:34:15,251
and not just this election.

2117
01:34:15,251 --> 01:34:17,631
‐ Thank you, Ms. Levin.
HARRY: Hold on. There's an "if."

2118
01:34:17,631 --> 01:34:21,341
Now, I don't know if Sloane's
revelation last night was true,

2119
01:34:21,341 --> 01:34:23,551
but if it is... [ sighs ]

2120
01:34:23,551 --> 01:34:27,221
and Harper can adopt
a "don't ask, don't tell" policy

2121
01:34:27,221 --> 01:34:29,891
regarding her private life,

2122
01:34:29,891 --> 01:34:31,681
I think we could be in business.

2123
01:34:31,681 --> 01:34:33,691
What do you say?

2124
01:34:45,741 --> 01:34:47,331
‐ Well?

2125
01:34:47,331 --> 01:34:49,291
‐ It's not gonna work out.

2126
01:34:50,331 --> 01:34:51,581
‐ Oh.

2127
01:34:51,581 --> 01:34:53,251
‐ We'll figure something out.

2128
01:34:57,791 --> 01:34:59,591
TIPPER:
Great, so‐‐ Wait, come over here.

2129
01:34:59,591 --> 01:35:01,921
TED: Okay. Where am I? Here?
TIPPER: You move there.

2130
01:35:01,921 --> 01:35:04,091
TED: Yeah, okay. Okay.
TIPPER: Hi, honey. Right.

2131
01:35:04,091 --> 01:35:06,141
Um, Jane, you get in the middle.

2132
01:35:06,141 --> 01:35:07,141
‐ Yeah.

2133
01:35:08,181 --> 01:35:09,601
‐ [ chuckling ]
‐ Right there.

2134
01:35:09,601 --> 01:35:11,351
TIPPER:
John, would you mind?

2135
01:35:11,351 --> 01:35:13,441
‐ Oh, I would be delighted.

2136
01:35:13,441 --> 01:35:15,561
Okay.

2137
01:35:15,561 --> 01:35:17,901
‐ Abby, what are you doing way over there?

2138
01:35:17,901 --> 01:35:19,521
Get in here.
‐ Come on.

2139
01:35:19,521 --> 01:35:21,691
‐ [ laughter ]

2140
01:35:23,951 --> 01:35:26,321
‐ Okay. Everyone say, "Christmas."

2141
01:35:26,321 --> 01:35:28,201
‐ No, don't say that.
‐ [ Abby laughs ]

2142
01:35:28,201 --> 01:35:30,791
[ "Make You Mine This Season"
by Tegan and Sara playing ]

2143
01:35:30,791 --> 01:35:31,871
[ camera clicks ]

2144
01:35:31,871 --> 01:35:35,291
♪ Somebody broke your heart ♪

2145
01:35:35,291 --> 01:35:38,041
♪ Under a Christmas tree... ♪

2146
01:35:38,041 --> 01:35:40,091
JANE:
"Once they cross Corvall Chasm,

2147
01:35:40,091 --> 01:35:42,261
"they will enter floam territory.

2148
01:35:42,261 --> 01:35:45,681
"The Shadow Dreamers know
they might not all make it out

2149
01:35:45,681 --> 01:35:47,471
"with their Krindoll intact,

2150
01:35:47,471 --> 01:35:51,511
"but the entire Thorfian race
rests on their shoulders.

2151
01:35:51,511 --> 01:35:56,021
"They look to each other
and then into the darkness.

2152
01:35:56,021 --> 01:35:59,481
It is Glank who takes the first step."

2153
01:35:59,481 --> 01:36:01,861
‐ [ cheering ]

2154
01:36:07,571 --> 01:36:09,371
‐ Here you go.
Thank you so much for coming.

2155
01:36:09,371 --> 01:36:10,411
MAN:
Thank you.

2156
01:36:10,411 --> 01:36:11,991
JANE: Bye.
‐ Hi.

2157
01:36:11,991 --> 01:36:13,161
JANE: Hi.
‐ We'll meet you there?

2158
01:36:13,161 --> 01:36:14,161
‐ Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2159
01:36:14,161 --> 01:36:15,161
‐ Okay.
‐ Yeah, you bet.

2160
01:36:15,161 --> 01:36:16,371
‐ That was awesome.
‐ Bye.

2161
01:36:16,371 --> 01:36:17,421
‐ Hi.
‐ Hi.

2162
01:36:17,421 --> 01:36:18,581
‐ Oh. Two at a time.
‐ Oh.

2163
01:36:18,581 --> 01:36:19,791
‐ Aah!
‐ Oh, my word.
‐ It's an onslaught.

2164
01:36:19,791 --> 01:36:21,091
♪ ♪

2165
01:36:21,091 --> 01:36:24,301
♪ Make you mine,
make you mine this season ♪

2166
01:36:24,301 --> 01:36:27,801
♪ Bells ring out on the street ♪

2167
01:36:27,801 --> 01:36:29,931
♪ Snow falling at our feet ♪

2168
01:36:29,931 --> 01:36:31,801
‐ [ indistinct chatter ]

2169
01:36:31,801 --> 01:36:34,271
♪ Lights glowing in the trees ♪

2170
01:36:35,561 --> 01:36:37,691
♪ Will you dance with me? ♪

2171
01:36:37,691 --> 01:36:41,691
♪ Have I been good enough ♪
‐ [ Sloane laughs ]

2172
01:36:41,691 --> 01:36:45,781
♪ To ask for your love? ♪

2173
01:36:48,701 --> 01:36:52,331
♪ You're the only girl
I've got on my list ♪

2174
01:36:52,331 --> 01:36:55,701
♪ I write your name, I know it's foolish ♪

2175
01:36:55,701 --> 01:36:59,921
♪ But I chase the feeling
'cause you keep me dreaming ♪

2176
01:36:59,921 --> 01:37:03,961
♪ That I could make you mine,
make you mine this season ♪

2177
01:37:03,961 --> 01:37:06,841
♪ I put a star on the top of my tree ♪

2178
01:37:06,841 --> 01:37:10,681
♪ I just want to make you mine ♪

2179
01:37:10,681 --> 01:37:14,101
♪ Its light is gonna lead you
straight to me ♪

2180
01:37:14,101 --> 01:37:17,731
♪ I just want to make you mine. ♪

2181
01:37:22,401 --> 01:37:24,401
[ song fades ]
[ "Think of Christmas"
by Anne‐Marie begins ]

2182
01:37:24,401 --> 01:37:28,571
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪

2183
01:37:28,571 --> 01:37:30,781
♪ I think of you ♪

2184
01:37:41,461 --> 01:37:44,211
♪ Remember the snow angels ♪

2185
01:37:44,211 --> 01:37:46,591
♪ Unorthodox anecdotes ♪

2186
01:37:46,591 --> 01:37:49,421
♪ About how it's never home ♪

2187
01:37:49,421 --> 01:37:52,141
♪ Hmm, unless you're here ♪

2188
01:37:52,141 --> 01:37:54,801
♪ Don't matter how deep the snow ♪

2189
01:37:54,801 --> 01:37:57,521
♪ Don't matter how cold it goes ♪

2190
01:37:57,521 --> 01:38:00,021
♪ I've already made it home ♪

2191
01:38:00,021 --> 01:38:02,351
♪ Hmm, because you're here ♪

2192
01:38:02,351 --> 01:38:05,151
♪ Still at the kids' table
even though we're grown ♪

2193
01:38:05,151 --> 01:38:07,821
♪ Hands on my kneecap
underneath the table ♪

2194
01:38:07,821 --> 01:38:10,651
♪ We got a secret only you and me know ♪

2195
01:38:10,651 --> 01:38:12,951
♪ But they know 'cause ♪

2196
01:38:12,951 --> 01:38:16,121
♪ A love like ours comes
with the brightest of halos ♪

2197
01:38:16,121 --> 01:38:17,541
♪ Yeah, they know ♪

2198
01:38:17,541 --> 01:38:22,041
♪ That when I think of Christmas ♪

2199
01:38:22,041 --> 01:38:25,671
♪ I think of you and me
and a classic kiss ♪

2200
01:38:25,671 --> 01:38:28,591
♪ Modern love is what it is ♪

2201
01:38:28,591 --> 01:38:32,591
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪

2202
01:38:32,591 --> 01:38:35,971
♪ I think of nothing more, nothing to do ♪

2203
01:38:35,971 --> 01:38:38,931
♪ Unwrap myself in front of you ♪

2204
01:38:38,931 --> 01:38:43,231
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪

2205
01:38:43,231 --> 01:38:45,521
♪ I think of you ♪

2206
01:38:48,611 --> 01:38:50,991
♪ I think of you ♪

2207
01:38:56,161 --> 01:38:58,831
♪ Rewriting my memories ♪

2208
01:38:58,831 --> 01:39:01,251
♪ Creating new history ♪

2209
01:39:01,251 --> 01:39:04,081
♪ And the season feels new to me ♪

2210
01:39:04,081 --> 01:39:06,381
♪ Huh, because you're here ♪

2211
01:39:06,381 --> 01:39:09,131
♪ Still at the kids' table
even though we're grown ♪

2212
01:39:09,131 --> 01:39:11,841
♪ Hands on my kneecap
underneath the table ♪

2213
01:39:11,841 --> 01:39:14,931
♪ We got a secret only you and me know ♪

2214
01:39:14,931 --> 01:39:16,971
♪ But they know 'cause ♪

2215
01:39:16,971 --> 01:39:20,141
♪ A love like ours comes
with the brightest of halos ♪

2216
01:39:20,141 --> 01:39:21,471
♪ Yeah, they know ♪

2217
01:39:21,471 --> 01:39:26,021
♪ That when I think of Christmas ♪

2218
01:39:26,021 --> 01:39:29,691
♪ I think of you and me
and a classic kiss ♪

2219
01:39:29,691 --> 01:39:32,571
♪ Modern love is what it is ♪

2220
01:39:32,571 --> 01:39:36,491
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪

2221
01:39:36,491 --> 01:39:40,121
♪ I think of nothing more, nothing to do ♪

2222
01:39:40,121 --> 01:39:43,001
♪ Unwrap myself in front of you ♪

2223
01:39:43,001 --> 01:39:47,331
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪

2224
01:39:47,331 --> 01:39:49,711
♪ I think of you ♪

2225
01:39:52,801 --> 01:39:55,261
♪ I think of you ♪

2226
01:39:58,221 --> 01:40:00,681
♪ I think of you ♪

2227
01:40:04,601 --> 01:40:08,811
♪ When I think of Christmas ♪

2228
01:40:08,811 --> 01:40:11,231
♪ I think of you. ♪
[ song ends ]

2229
01:40:11,231 --> 01:40:13,231
♪ joyous holiday music ♪

2230
01:40:43,261 --> 01:40:45,271
♪ ♪

2231
01:41:04,241 --> 01:41:06,251
[ "Jingle Bells" instrumental plays ]

2232
01:41:36,281 --> 01:41:38,281
♪ ♪

2233
01:41:41,111 --> 01:41:43,121
[ music ends ]