♪♪♪
C'MON, BIRD! BAD ALIEN!
DON'T BITE ME! GAH!
- What's going on in there?
- We gotta get outta here, Chef's being eaten by aliens!
- What?! And no one is recording it?!
(Kicking thud)
- You wanna nibble?! NIBBLE ON THIS!
SUPER EGG STORM!
(Shooting sounds)
- I don't think those are eggs.
- Lock Jaw Macaw is laying down the law!
- (Victory bird call) Ha ha!
Oh. Ugh (clears throat)
Hi kids.
- Whatch'ya dooo'in?
- Brushing up on my gaming skills.
(Laughing)
- That's a video game?! - Did you make it yourself?!
- No. This is Macaw Wash!
It's the greatest game ever made!
And you are looking at the world champion.
- Huh... weird we never noticed that.
- Winning that tournament
was the greatest moment of my life.
To this day I am the greatest gamer alive!
(Victory bird call) Macaw!
- Yeah... no.
You couldn't handle a game made this century.
- Bring it.
- This is the TW9, deluxe HDR 5K edition.
- Oooh, fancy letters and numbers.
TW9: Time-Waster. 9.
(Zapping)
- OOF! That all it got?
- That was just the intro screen.
The hot multi-player right now is Painapple.
It's a fighting game where cyborg pineapples
give each other kid-friendly minor injuries.
- Painapple is rotten to the core!
Beth: I hope you like small injuries!
Because this minor is about to give abrasions!
- What's the big deal?
- Beth is the current champion!
She destroyed Duncan yesterday!
Pounded him like a bongo drum!
Beat him like dough on cookie day! Clobbered--
- You made your point!
- Well-well. If it isn't Duncan.
You ready to get DUNKED-AGAIN?!
- I-Er-...no.
- I'll take you on.
(All gasp)
- I never played before, but I'm sure that won't matter.
I'm a champion.
- Jude, Izzy, Cody
(snaps fingers) hoist me.
(Effort grunts)
Well, you better back your bags.
Cuz you're goin' on a bruise cruise!
- Since when do you talk trash?
- Since the game.
- You're goin' on a bruise cruise!
- That pineapple's a bad influence.
- Enough boring talk.
Let's do this!
- Painapples... fight! (Bell dings)
- PINCH! PINCH!
(Video game sounds) - Whoa! Hey!
This pineapple handles horribly!
- (Pained grunts) - EAR FLICK!
- It ain't no bird!
- PAPER CUT! - Aghhhhhh!
- Beth wins... flawless victory!
- Champ? More like chump.
- UGH! Just once I wanna see Beth lose!
- I-I don't know what happened.
I was the greatest gamer alive.
- Aww, don't feel bad. You had your day.
You're just yesterday's news now.
Like a caveman A washed up old fossil. A--
- Stop trying to cheer me up, you're horrible at it.
- Wait. What if we could turn you back into a champion?
- By helping me train hard so I master the game
and beat Beth in the greatest comeback of all time?!
- What? No. That'll take too long.
I'm saying we hack the game
to make it look like you got good.
- But... isn't that cheating? - Not if you do it!
It'll be like an old man using a cane.
- Well, when you put it that way... it's hurtful.
Hm. I dunno...
- I found a million different hacks.
Do we want faster ear flicks, wedgier wedgies?
- Just load them all. - No, wait!
(Zapping)
- Whoa... - Uh oh.
- I'm free at last!
- WOW, this is amazing!
- Amazing? I'll show you amazing!
The amazing world of paaaiinnnn!
Ear-flick, ear-flick, minor abrasion!
Nooooogieeeeeeeee!
(Light thud)
- OOF!
- No one controls Painapple!
(Stomping)
- What just happened?
- Let me outta here! You can't contain the pain.
- We gotta get rid of that thing before someone gets hurt!
- No! We gotta get rid of that thing before someone sees it
and finds out that you tried to cheat!
- They'll be so disappointed in you.
- Me? But you two did it!
- We're minors, we can't be held responsible!
You should've stopped us.
- Stopped you from what?
- Uh... - Nothing!
Chef says early recess today!
(All cheering, laughing)
- Phew, good thinking. Now back to the monster.
- Hey, the pounding stopped.
- Awwwww, pineapples.
(Playful laughter)
- TEETER-TOTTER! TEETER-SLAUGHTER!
(Pained grunts)
Chef: Over there!
You kids okay?
- Something just played basketball
with my brain bucket. - Well, I don't know
what that has to do with a giant pineapple!
(Nervous chuckle)
Now scoot on inside where it's safe...
from nothing in particular. - Ahh!
- I think we scared it off.
- Uh, Chef? Monkey bars.
(Pained screams)
- Ankle sprain! Ankle sprain! (Laughs)
- HEY!
- I didn't like that game.
- (Chuckles) You kids.
Stop monkeying around and get inside!
I think it's gone.
- (Gasps) Tree house!
- (Sly cackle) - It's slide o'clock!
Wheeeeee...
OWIE-OWIE-OWIE-CARPET?!
- Carpet burn! - Ahhh! OOOF!
- HA HA!
- Whu-was that Painapple?
- HA! That's just a game.
And this is no game! Everyone inside!
♪♪♪
(Hammering)
There. Just some safety features,
nothing to be alarmed about.
All: (Pained grunts)
- I think I have carpet burn on my tongue.
- (Sighs) Children, I have a confession to make. I--
- Tried to cheat at Painapple, used too many hacks
and brought it to life? Yeah. It's pretty obvious!
- How'd you know-- - (Pounding)
PAIN DELIVERY! OPEN UP!
(Banging)
- This is hard to admit, but I'm outta my league.
I'm not the gamer I used to be.
I don't know how to fix this.
- Chef, you can fix this...
by stepping aside and letting me handle it.
I got a craving for roasted pineapple!
(Crash)
- (Attack yell)
(Pained cries)
- LEAP PULL!
ANKLE BITER!
- AHHHH! - KITTY CAT SCRATCH!
- AGHHHH!
- See. Not so tough.
Uh oh.
But how?!
- It's because of Duncan's hacks.
Painapple is basically invincible!
- Painapple at 100%.
- Beth couldn't beat it. Do you know what this means?
She's no longer the champ!
Ha ha! In your face, Beth!
Ooh, ooh, ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh!
- What do we do now?!
- It's over, man. Game over.
We're done. Toast!
- Wait. In Chef's ancient game from the stone age,
didn't the Macaw eat pineapples?
- Yeah, but so what?
- Ugh, how're you not getting this if I am?
We need to bring your Macaw to life to fight Painapple!
(Crash)
- HA! HA! HA!
PREPARE FOR SUPERFICIAL DOOM!
- AW MAN. The second hole?
Do you know how long it takes to fix those?
- Chef, focus!
- Right. You kids go get the Macaw,
I'll stall the Painapple.
Hey Painapple! Come pink my belly!
(Pants) (Pained cries)
(Punching thuds, pained cries)
OWWW!
- (Laughing) - Hurry, kids!
- This game is actually pretty fun.
- Weren't we supposed to be doing something?
(Both): (Gasp) The hacks!
(Laughing)
- Ah! The agony!
We need a softer carpet!
- RUG BURN! AGH!
(Video game sounds)
- Lock Jaw Macaw is laying down the law!
(Victory bird call)
- (Victory bird call)
Looks like Macaw is Macaw'lin you out!
(Battle caw)
- (Cheering) YEAH!
(Attack squawks)
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
- Uh... what's the bird doing?
- Macaw has no depth perception!
It's a 2D game!
Ugh, old games really are lame!
(Pained squawks)
(Pained cries, crash)
(Chef groans) (Game over sounds)
All: CHEF, HELP!
- That does it. I'm through playin'.
- (Cackles, snaps fingers)
(Smashing sounds)
AAAAAAAH!
AHHHHH!
(Smashing sounds)
PAINAPPLE DEFEATED!
(Game over sounds)
- I don't think anyone's ever said this before,
but video games are violent.
- (Sighs) My gamer days were great while they lasted.
But they were over long ago.
- Are you kidding, Chef,
that was the greatest win I've ever seen!
- You really are the world's greatest gamer!
- (Victory bird call)
- Uh, where'd the Macaw go?
(Car alarm blares) - That's m'car!
(Splatting)
- Told you those weren't eggs!
♪♪♪