1 00:00:00,043 --> 00:00:02,323 - Good news, everyone, I have arrested a sniper, 2 00:00:02,323 --> 00:00:04,323 one Flora Wilson. 3 00:00:04,323 --> 00:00:05,323 - Do you know her? 4 00:00:05,403 --> 00:00:06,763 (Moaning) 5 00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:07,643 - No, no. 6 00:00:07,643 --> 00:00:09,283 - I know a lot of wrongin's 7 00:00:09,283 --> 00:00:10,763 - I do hope she's not the love of your life 8 00:00:10,763 --> 00:00:12,563 because I hear they're going to hang her. 9 00:00:12,563 --> 00:00:14,163 - There's going to be an inquiry. 10 00:00:14,163 --> 00:00:15,443 - After what you did to Mr. Larkum 11 00:00:15,563 --> 00:00:16,683 (Screaming) 12 00:00:16,803 --> 00:00:18,283 - I barely touched him. 13 00:00:18,283 --> 00:00:21,963 - Mr. Larkum, everyone needs a friend in the station. 14 00:00:21,963 --> 00:00:23,363 I could be such a friend. 15 00:00:23,363 --> 00:00:24,203 - I love you a lot. 16 00:00:24,203 --> 00:00:25,883 - But let us know a little bit about 17 00:00:25,883 --> 00:00:27,403 how your station works. 18 00:00:27,403 --> 00:00:29,443 Police reform is high on our list. 19 00:00:29,443 --> 00:00:30,363 - Definitely. 20 00:00:42,683 --> 00:00:43,523 - There she is. 21 00:00:44,763 --> 00:00:45,803 Flora, is it? 22 00:00:45,803 --> 00:00:47,963 - Pig shit is it? 23 00:00:47,963 --> 00:00:49,523 - I prefer Inspector Rabbitt. 24 00:00:49,523 --> 00:00:52,403 Now, before you swing like a chimp's ballsack, 25 00:00:52,403 --> 00:00:55,003 I want a list of everyone you've done in. 26 00:00:56,643 --> 00:00:57,803 You better fuck off, mate. 27 00:00:57,803 --> 00:00:59,363 What you don't see in all that. 28 00:01:04,683 --> 00:01:06,163 I'm gonna get you out of here. 29 00:01:06,163 --> 00:01:07,883 - You can't, it's too late for me, Rabbit. 30 00:01:07,883 --> 00:01:09,923 - How many of you killed? 31 00:01:09,923 --> 00:01:12,403 Tomorrow at eleven they're going to take you to pen 32 00:01:12,403 --> 00:01:13,923 Where you're going to hang at noon, 33 00:01:13,923 --> 00:01:15,723 but I'll be waiting, wearing a hood, 34 00:01:15,723 --> 00:01:17,963 to cosh the guards and crack open a van. 35 00:01:17,963 --> 00:01:20,323 - I'm saying nothing, pig, they all deserved it! 36 00:01:20,323 --> 00:01:21,923 A cop doing over a prison van, 37 00:01:21,923 --> 00:01:23,283 they'll hang us both. 38 00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:24,163 - Only if they catch us. 39 00:01:24,163 --> 00:01:26,003 - You really gonna bust me out on your own? 40 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:29,123 - Yeah! Because I love you and always will! 41 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:29,963 - You shouted that. 42 00:01:29,963 --> 00:01:32,843 - Shit, is what your victims said. 43 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:33,923 - Good recovery. 44 00:01:33,923 --> 00:01:34,803 - Not bad, aye? 45 00:01:34,883 --> 00:01:36,963 (Moaning) 46 00:01:38,163 --> 00:01:40,323 (Farting) 47 00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:47,963 (Dramatic, upbeat music) 48 00:01:53,683 --> 00:01:54,843 - Tanner's report goes up 49 00:01:54,843 --> 00:01:57,043 goes up to the assistant commissioner today. 50 00:01:57,043 --> 00:01:58,723 - I won't do nothing. 51 00:01:58,723 --> 00:02:00,003 - They need bastards like me. 52 00:02:00,003 --> 00:02:02,283 - The scum do need taking out. 53 00:02:02,283 --> 00:02:04,283 What if it doesn't go your way? 54 00:02:04,283 --> 00:02:05,643 - Then I'm toast. 55 00:02:05,643 --> 00:02:08,723 - I for one would jolly done miss you sir 56 00:02:08,723 --> 00:02:10,163 - You're a good boy, but I've got bigger things 57 00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:11,003 on my mind. 58 00:02:11,003 --> 00:02:12,123 - Such as? 59 00:02:12,123 --> 00:02:13,923 - Look, I might need to nip off later. 60 00:02:13,923 --> 00:02:14,763 - When? 61 00:02:14,763 --> 00:02:16,563 - About six minutes past eleven. 62 00:02:16,563 --> 00:02:18,723 - Are you hiding something from me again? 63 00:02:18,723 --> 00:02:19,923 What did we agree about that? 64 00:02:19,923 --> 00:02:22,123 - Help! He's got the girls! 65 00:02:22,123 --> 00:02:22,963 - Who has? 66 00:02:22,963 --> 00:02:24,083 - He shot Big Sam! 67 00:02:24,083 --> 00:02:24,923 - Okay! 68 00:02:24,923 --> 00:02:27,683 - [Tilly] He ran into the match factory on Lyme Street 69 00:02:27,683 --> 00:02:29,563 and there was shouting and then shooting! 70 00:02:29,563 --> 00:02:29,603 (Screaming) 71 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,283 (Screaming) 72 00:02:31,283 --> 00:02:31,323 - See! 73 00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:32,203 - See! 74 00:02:32,203 --> 00:02:33,043 - [Tilly] And then he said 75 00:02:33,043 --> 00:02:34,563 "I've got poison gas I'll kill the 76 00:02:34,563 --> 00:02:35,683 fucking all of ya!" 77 00:02:35,683 --> 00:02:37,203 He's gonna kill them all! 78 00:02:38,043 --> 00:02:40,083 (frantic drumming) 79 00:02:44,523 --> 00:02:45,843 - That's the thing about Rabbitt, 80 00:02:45,843 --> 00:02:48,243 he punches first and then forgets what the question was. 81 00:02:48,243 --> 00:02:50,323 - And would you say the Inspector is under 82 00:02:50,323 --> 00:02:52,763 particular pressure at the moment? 83 00:02:53,763 --> 00:02:58,803 - Lydia, why do you give a dog's dangle about Rabbit? 84 00:03:00,203 --> 00:03:02,243 He's a high functioning fried breakfast 85 00:03:02,243 --> 00:03:03,603 who's afraid of the countryside and 86 00:03:03,603 --> 00:03:05,123 can't spell the word "Wednesday." 87 00:03:05,123 --> 00:03:07,603 Why does a women's organization need to know this stuff? 88 00:03:07,603 --> 00:03:11,083 - Mabel, do you remember how you felt 89 00:03:11,083 --> 00:03:14,083 when you were made a real policewoman? 90 00:03:14,083 --> 00:03:15,923 - Yeah, it was like an orgasm, 91 00:03:15,923 --> 00:03:17,643 if women had those. 92 00:03:17,643 --> 00:03:19,523 - Well you're still the only one. 93 00:03:19,523 --> 00:03:22,323 It's a very precarious position. 94 00:03:22,323 --> 00:03:25,123 You need to keep your friends on side, don't you? 95 00:03:26,723 --> 00:03:30,243 So, tell me more about Rabbitt. 96 00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:31,083 How's he coping? 97 00:03:33,203 --> 00:03:34,683 - Well, alright, okay so, 98 00:03:34,683 --> 00:03:37,323 the thing is about Rabbit is 99 00:03:37,323 --> 00:03:38,803 he doesn't have his own teeth. 100 00:03:38,803 --> 00:03:40,083 - [Running Man] He's got a gun! 101 00:03:40,283 --> 00:03:44,403 (Screaming) (frantic drumming) 102 00:03:44,483 --> 00:03:45,723 - He's up there! 103 00:03:47,283 --> 00:03:49,643 You're worrying me he got out! 104 00:03:49,643 --> 00:03:51,603 I left my tin lunchbox up there! 105 00:03:51,603 --> 00:03:53,963 It's got a kitten on the front of it, 106 00:03:53,963 --> 00:03:55,203 my mum will kill me if I lose it! 107 00:03:55,203 --> 00:03:56,443 - What's your name? 108 00:03:56,443 --> 00:03:57,283 - Tilly 109 00:03:57,283 --> 00:03:59,203 - We'll get your mates out of there Tilly don't you worry. 110 00:03:59,203 --> 00:04:01,083 Sergeant Strauss, can you lead the hunt for 111 00:04:01,083 --> 00:04:02,283 the missing lunchbox? 112 00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:03,283 - It shall be found, ma'am. 113 00:04:03,283 --> 00:04:05,203 - Right, let's get this over with quick. 114 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,803 I need a clean head shot. 115 00:04:06,803 --> 00:04:08,163 I should've had a drink. 116 00:04:08,163 --> 00:04:10,843 - Sir! Stop. He's holding a lever. 117 00:04:10,843 --> 00:04:12,683 If he lets go that will release the poison gas. 118 00:04:12,683 --> 00:04:14,083 - Dead man switch. Bugger! 119 00:04:14,283 --> 00:04:15,403 (Screaming) 120 00:04:15,403 --> 00:04:15,443 - Hetty's in there, she's eight months with child! 121 00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:18,083 - Hetty's in there, she's eight months with child! 122 00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:20,443 I've got to save her! 123 00:04:20,443 --> 00:04:22,523 - No you don't. You take this, 124 00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:24,083 go and get yourself a cup of tea from the market, 125 00:04:24,083 --> 00:04:27,003 by the time you get back, this will all be sorted. 126 00:04:27,003 --> 00:04:30,403 - I like coffee, coffee's tuppence. 127 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:31,243 - Go on. 128 00:04:35,123 --> 00:04:36,763 - I've seen some of the girls have a biscuit with it. 129 00:04:36,763 --> 00:04:39,403 - Aw you're kidding! Run! 130 00:04:42,083 --> 00:04:44,443 - Excuse me, we do need to clear the area, 131 00:04:44,443 --> 00:04:45,603 is that work very important? 132 00:04:45,603 --> 00:04:46,443 - Yeah. 133 00:04:46,443 --> 00:04:48,563 - Inspector we've got a problem here. 134 00:04:48,563 --> 00:04:49,963 - What is it? 135 00:04:49,963 --> 00:04:50,803 - Electricity. 136 00:04:50,803 --> 00:04:53,763 - Doesn't exist. Tell him to bugger off. 137 00:04:53,883 --> 00:04:56,603 (light drumming) 138 00:04:56,803 --> 00:04:58,683 - Murdering lady hangs at noon! 139 00:04:58,683 --> 00:05:01,683 Expect her to swing like the balls of a chimp! 140 00:05:01,683 --> 00:05:05,083 - Siege at the match factory, Rabbitt is down there. 141 00:05:05,083 --> 00:05:06,683 - As police or perpetrator? 142 00:05:06,683 --> 00:05:08,443 - Police I think. 143 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:09,643 - Always worth checking. 144 00:05:10,603 --> 00:05:13,283 Well, off I fucking go! 145 00:05:13,283 --> 00:05:15,443 - He should shit or get off the pot. 146 00:05:16,563 --> 00:05:20,603 - For once Trevor, you speak the bloody truth! 147 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,323 - So, which way is this gonna go Tanner? 148 00:05:25,323 --> 00:05:26,883 - Hm. Our way. 149 00:05:26,883 --> 00:05:28,563 - Or is the report on our friend Rabbit 150 00:05:28,563 --> 00:05:31,083 going straight into the round filing cabinet? 151 00:05:31,083 --> 00:05:32,923 That's a clever way of saying "bin" that I invented. 152 00:05:32,923 --> 00:05:35,683 - I'm confident they'll stick him to the wall, sir. 153 00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:37,843 I included every last misdeed that bastard 154 00:05:37,843 --> 00:05:39,203 has ever committed. 155 00:05:39,203 --> 00:05:40,083 Ah, here we go. 156 00:05:42,963 --> 00:05:44,323 Fuck! 157 00:05:44,323 --> 00:05:45,803 - By order of the assistant commissioner, 158 00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:47,403 for violent conduct, Inspector Rabbit will 159 00:05:47,403 --> 00:05:49,203 give up his truncheon for one week. 160 00:05:49,203 --> 00:05:51,163 - (whispers) I should have guessed 161 00:05:51,163 --> 00:05:53,483 - Rabbitt always was his favorite little pet. 162 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,123 The question now Turner is, 163 00:05:55,123 --> 00:05:57,283 what are you going to do about it? 164 00:06:01,803 --> 00:06:04,563 - Excuse me, police coming through, thank you! 165 00:06:04,563 --> 00:06:06,323 I can't believe you're having an armed siege without me. 166 00:06:06,323 --> 00:06:08,923 - It wasn't in the diary, more of a spontaneous thing. 167 00:06:08,923 --> 00:06:10,723 - Stop crying! If you don't shut up 168 00:06:10,723 --> 00:06:11,883 I'll start shooting, I will! 169 00:06:11,883 --> 00:06:11,923 (women scream) 170 00:06:11,963 --> 00:06:13,203 (women scream) 171 00:06:13,203 --> 00:06:13,243 - Right, this needs finishing quicker 172 00:06:13,323 --> 00:06:14,963 - Right, this needs finishing quicker 173 00:06:14,963 --> 00:06:16,043 than a vicker's wank. 174 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:20,403 - Oy! I'm Inspector Rabbit, 175 00:06:20,403 --> 00:06:21,923 now you need to comeh down so we can 176 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,603 sort this bollocks out. 177 00:06:23,603 --> 00:06:25,403 What are your demands? 178 00:06:25,403 --> 00:06:26,763 - I'm not telling ya! 179 00:06:26,763 --> 00:06:27,603 - You what? 180 00:06:27,603 --> 00:06:28,803 - What are your demands? 181 00:06:28,803 --> 00:06:30,243 - What are my demands? 182 00:06:30,243 --> 00:06:32,883 I don't know you throw your gun out the window and 183 00:06:32,883 --> 00:06:34,643 let the girls out the front door. 184 00:06:34,643 --> 00:06:36,443 - They won't stop sniffling 185 00:06:36,443 --> 00:06:38,563 - If I'm honest, there's no point in killing them, 186 00:06:38,563 --> 00:06:40,283 most of those girls will be dead by the end 187 00:06:40,283 --> 00:06:42,163 of the year of phosphorous poisoning. 188 00:06:42,163 --> 00:06:44,283 Personally, I blame the managers. 189 00:06:44,283 --> 00:06:46,403 - Really? I've got a manager in here. 190 00:06:47,683 --> 00:06:48,483 - Have you? 191 00:06:48,603 --> 00:06:50,523 (gunshot) 192 00:06:50,603 --> 00:06:51,603 Oh god. 193 00:06:51,603 --> 00:06:54,123 - I did him! Like you told me to! 194 00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:57,203 - I didn't exactly but, I got your attention 195 00:06:57,203 --> 00:06:58,043 which is good. 196 00:06:58,043 --> 00:07:00,363 Now, do you reckon we can wrap this up 197 00:07:00,363 --> 00:07:01,443 in the next ten or fifteen 198 00:07:01,443 --> 00:07:03,883 because I really got to be somewhere. 199 00:07:03,883 --> 00:07:06,483 - You're trying to confuse me, shut up! 200 00:07:06,483 --> 00:07:10,083 Just shut up or I'll shoot your cock off into the air! 201 00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:11,763 - Alright that stopped the shout. 202 00:07:11,763 --> 00:07:13,283 - It certainly did. I'd have a hell of a job 203 00:07:13,283 --> 00:07:14,443 finding another. 204 00:07:18,723 --> 00:07:22,403 - Fine, let's have a little ride across town, shall we? 205 00:07:22,403 --> 00:07:24,803 Why not? I like to ride. 206 00:07:26,803 --> 00:07:29,003 - Message for Sergeant Strauss. 207 00:07:29,003 --> 00:07:31,363 - Ooh thank you. Here you go. 208 00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:32,803 - What is it? 209 00:07:36,243 --> 00:07:37,523 - It's nothing. 210 00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:38,363 - Oh no. 211 00:07:38,363 --> 00:07:39,203 - Why'd you kiss it? 212 00:07:39,203 --> 00:07:40,043 - I didn't. 213 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,043 - He's in love again. 214 00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:42,123 - Some people never learn. 215 00:07:42,123 --> 00:07:45,123 - It isn't that, alright it is that. 216 00:07:45,123 --> 00:07:48,283 I finally met someone and she's tender and gentle 217 00:07:48,283 --> 00:07:49,443 - And a serial killer 218 00:07:49,443 --> 00:07:50,243 - Quite a history to her 219 00:07:50,243 --> 00:07:51,243 - We all have our type 220 00:07:51,243 --> 00:07:52,483 - I know I've been unlucky in love, 221 00:07:52,483 --> 00:07:53,963 but this time it's for real. 222 00:07:53,963 --> 00:07:55,243 - Wow, would love to meet her. 223 00:07:55,243 --> 00:07:56,763 - Yeah, during visiting hours. 224 00:07:56,763 --> 00:07:58,563 - Alright then, what's he up to? 225 00:07:58,563 --> 00:08:00,203 - I don't know he hasn't said. 226 00:08:00,203 --> 00:08:01,923 - Bloody inconsiderate 227 00:08:01,923 --> 00:08:04,203 If he won't say what he wants how can I 228 00:08:04,203 --> 00:08:05,243 tell him he can't have it? 229 00:08:05,243 --> 00:08:07,563 - Look Gov, I can't stay for long. 230 00:08:07,563 --> 00:08:09,683 - You'll stay until this it's bloody sorted! 231 00:08:09,683 --> 00:08:11,683 And I want it sorted now. 232 00:08:11,683 --> 00:08:12,683 - Well that's good then. 233 00:08:12,683 --> 00:08:15,083 - I'm gonna throw a cordon around the cordon. 234 00:08:15,083 --> 00:08:16,803 you can never have enough cordons, 235 00:08:16,803 --> 00:08:18,403 Despite what people say. 236 00:08:18,563 --> 00:08:21,163 (light drumming) 237 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:25,563 - No, don't touch it, it might be poisoned. 238 00:08:25,563 --> 00:08:28,643 - Leave this to me, I studied toxicology at college. 239 00:08:28,643 --> 00:08:31,843 Now, this paper tells us the pH. 240 00:08:31,843 --> 00:08:33,483 This tests for thallium, 241 00:08:33,483 --> 00:08:34,403 all I have to do 242 00:08:37,603 --> 00:08:38,443 - It's fine. 243 00:08:38,443 --> 00:08:39,603 - What does it say? 244 00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:41,763 - Great news! Here at Fromond and Jones matches, 245 00:08:41,763 --> 00:08:44,123 only seven girls fell into a prosperous coma last year 246 00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:45,043 thanks to our 247 00:08:45,043 --> 00:08:45,883 - No, turn it over. 248 00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:51,163 - "Please help us, uh, Hetty not looking well. 249 00:08:51,163 --> 00:08:53,283 Tell our mums we love them," and then, 250 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:54,243 there's a picture. 251 00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:55,723 - It's a spider in a tree 252 00:08:55,723 --> 00:08:57,643 - Now this could be a clue. 253 00:08:57,643 --> 00:09:00,803 The hostage taker's name is Mr SpiderTree. 254 00:09:00,803 --> 00:09:02,323 - Nobody's called Mr Spider Tree 255 00:09:02,323 --> 00:09:03,803 - Then Mr Tree Spider? 256 00:09:03,803 --> 00:09:05,803 Or? Mr Plant Creepy Crawly? 257 00:09:05,803 --> 00:09:08,363 Or? His name's Plant Creepy and he lives in Crawly. 258 00:09:08,363 --> 00:09:10,483 - It's a hand, and it's a tattoo. 259 00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,803 So we need to find whoever has this tattoo. 260 00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:14,043 - But he could still live in Crawly. 261 00:09:14,043 --> 00:09:16,443 - Well who would know? Every tattooed lowlife 262 00:09:16,443 --> 00:09:17,683 in the East End. 263 00:09:18,723 --> 00:09:19,723 - Oh no. 264 00:09:19,723 --> 00:09:21,083 - Oh yes, Strauss. 265 00:09:21,083 --> 00:09:24,323 Go and get John Marick. Otherwise known by many, 266 00:09:24,323 --> 00:09:25,803 as the Elephant Man. 267 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,163 - [Tanner] Assistant Commissioner I see you haven't 268 00:09:32,163 --> 00:09:33,723 followed up on my recommendations 269 00:09:33,723 --> 00:09:35,083 vis-a-vis Inspector Rabbitt and 270 00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:37,483 I am a bit disappointed I won't lie to you. 271 00:09:37,483 --> 00:09:39,043 - My decision is final. 272 00:09:39,043 --> 00:09:41,603 - What if I were to bribe you? 273 00:09:41,603 --> 00:09:44,043 - You clearly know nothing about me 274 00:09:44,043 --> 00:09:46,083 - Well then let's get to know each other, shall we? 275 00:09:46,083 --> 00:09:50,243 I'll start, in the Sudan, this young bugler 276 00:09:50,243 --> 00:09:53,243 couldn't get his boot off, asked if I could help him. 277 00:09:53,243 --> 00:09:55,643 "Alright," I said, I gave it a yank, 278 00:09:55,643 --> 00:09:59,323 it was jammed hard, and blow me down if his whole 279 00:09:59,323 --> 00:10:02,403 bleeding leg didn't come off into my hand along with his 280 00:10:02,403 --> 00:10:04,123 trousers and his tunic. 281 00:10:04,123 --> 00:10:07,843 You see the rot hadn't only spread up his leg, 282 00:10:07,843 --> 00:10:10,083 it had gone all the way up to his neck. 283 00:10:11,203 --> 00:10:13,643 After a brief chat, I picked up an 284 00:10:13,643 --> 00:10:17,203 ammunition box and dropped it on his head. 285 00:10:17,203 --> 00:10:20,923 A kindness. I actually had to do it twice because 286 00:10:20,923 --> 00:10:22,843 I half missed the first time but the point is, 287 00:10:22,843 --> 00:10:25,683 you now know how kind I can be. 288 00:10:27,883 --> 00:10:29,563 How kind can you be? 289 00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:32,763 - If there were a bribe, it would have to be a 290 00:10:32,763 --> 00:10:35,043 very big one. 291 00:10:35,043 --> 00:10:37,723 - Well for that I would have to have a very, very 292 00:10:37,723 --> 00:10:38,563 rich friend. 293 00:10:38,803 --> 00:10:41,363 (battle drumming) 294 00:10:43,083 --> 00:10:43,883 - Morning Joe! 295 00:10:43,883 --> 00:10:45,403 - Oh I bloody hate mornings, 296 00:10:45,403 --> 00:10:48,603 never freak before three, that's my motto 297 00:10:48,603 --> 00:10:49,643 but your boy was insistent. 298 00:10:49,643 --> 00:10:51,243 - I was polite but thoughtful. 299 00:10:51,243 --> 00:10:52,963 - Ooh, are you now? 300 00:10:52,963 --> 00:10:54,603 - I want you to have a look at this. 301 00:10:55,443 --> 00:10:57,963 We reckon the bloke up there has this tattoo, 302 00:10:57,963 --> 00:10:59,563 but we don't know his name. 303 00:10:59,563 --> 00:11:01,603 - Give me back my money you shit! 304 00:11:01,603 --> 00:11:04,803 - [Criminal] No, no, no! Anyone but him! 305 00:11:04,803 --> 00:11:08,643 - 100 bloody Guinness you owe me you bastard thief! 306 00:11:08,643 --> 00:11:10,963 - You keep him away or I'll kill everyone! 307 00:11:10,963 --> 00:11:11,003 (screaming) 308 00:11:11,043 --> 00:11:11,803 (screaming) 309 00:11:11,803 --> 00:11:11,843 - Whoa, whoa, whoa you know him then? 310 00:11:11,883 --> 00:11:13,483 - Whoa, whoa, whoa you know him then? 311 00:11:13,483 --> 00:11:16,123 - Patrick Lavant, he auditioned for my show. 312 00:11:16,123 --> 00:11:18,523 So I said, "will you get covered in tattoos? 313 00:11:18,523 --> 00:11:21,483 You could be an incredible tattooed man!" 314 00:11:21,483 --> 00:11:23,283 "Yes," says he so I gave him some money. 315 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:25,883 After just one tattoo he's mewling like a baby. 316 00:11:25,883 --> 00:11:28,883 "Oh it hurts! Oh they used a dirty needle! 317 00:11:28,883 --> 00:11:31,443 I have six forms of hepatitis!" 318 00:11:31,443 --> 00:11:33,483 Well we all make sacrifices, love! 319 00:11:33,483 --> 00:11:34,523 - Then what happened? 320 00:11:34,523 --> 00:11:36,603 - He ran away with the rest of the tattoo money. 321 00:11:36,603 --> 00:11:39,163 Well I found you now you fleeter! 322 00:11:39,163 --> 00:11:40,083 - You get back! 323 00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:42,323 - Not until I get my wage, son! 324 00:11:42,323 --> 00:11:43,843 - Mr. Marrick, he's holding a large tube of poison gas 325 00:11:43,843 --> 00:11:47,163 - Hey I couldn't give a cat his knackers. Oh, wait, 326 00:11:47,163 --> 00:11:49,443 yeah I could get good money for that down 327 00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:50,563 at the market 328 00:11:50,563 --> 00:11:52,163 - No, no, no, no! 329 00:11:52,163 --> 00:11:53,803 - The canister please, Lavant. 330 00:11:53,803 --> 00:11:54,603 - You're mad! 331 00:11:54,603 --> 00:11:56,723 - Technically it belongs to me, and your gun, 332 00:11:56,723 --> 00:11:59,803 and the bullets. In fact, give me all the bullets, 333 00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,083 from your gun immediately. 334 00:12:01,083 --> 00:12:01,923 - [Rabbitt] Oh shit! 335 00:12:03,243 --> 00:12:04,483 (screaming) 336 00:12:04,603 --> 00:12:07,043 - Not like that you thick puffin! 337 00:12:07,043 --> 00:12:09,563 - Come on Mr. Merrick, it's for your own, 338 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,443 well, mainly other people's good. 339 00:12:11,443 --> 00:12:14,283 - Hey now paws off. This is tailored you know. 340 00:12:14,283 --> 00:12:16,483 The Elephant never buys off the pen! 341 00:12:18,763 --> 00:12:21,883 - Right, a nine layer corden, personal best. 342 00:12:21,883 --> 00:12:22,843 What's the news? 343 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:25,123 - We got a name, Gov. Patrick Lavant. 344 00:12:25,163 --> 00:12:26,603 (bells chime) 345 00:12:26,643 --> 00:12:27,683 11:00, I got to go. 346 00:12:27,683 --> 00:12:29,483 - Now? Where? 347 00:12:29,483 --> 00:12:30,323 - Nowhere. 348 00:12:30,323 --> 00:12:32,043 - Whatever it is you need to do, can't I do it? 349 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:34,083 - No, no, no, no you need to stay where it's safe. 350 00:12:34,083 --> 00:12:35,363 Here at the armed siege. 351 00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:36,883 Gov, you take over. 352 00:12:36,883 --> 00:12:37,883 - What? Bloody hell. 353 00:12:40,283 --> 00:12:43,563 Mr. Lavant, my name is Chief Inspector Wisbech. 354 00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:45,163 - Well, I only speak to Rabbit. 355 00:12:45,163 --> 00:12:46,683 - It's the girl, Hetty, sir. 356 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:47,923 She's gone into labor. 357 00:12:47,923 --> 00:12:49,763 - [Criminal] This is a trick, she stays here, 358 00:12:49,763 --> 00:12:52,923 or I let go of this and everybody dies. 359 00:12:54,003 --> 00:12:56,163 - You seem to be well in with all the nutters, Rabbitt, 360 00:12:56,163 --> 00:12:58,403 I'll give you that. I'll get a nurse. 361 00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:04,203 - Patrick, are we pals? Feels like we are. 362 00:13:04,203 --> 00:13:07,963 Having a chat in the pub, one with a whiskey, 363 00:13:07,963 --> 00:13:10,563 one with a switch that could gas an entire 364 00:13:10,563 --> 00:13:14,083 room of young women. Patrick you need to let the 365 00:13:14,083 --> 00:13:15,643 pregnant girl go. 366 00:13:15,643 --> 00:13:16,883 - Nobody leaves.. 367 00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,723 - What if someone takes Hetty's place? 368 00:13:19,723 --> 00:13:21,723 You'll have the same number of hostages and 369 00:13:21,723 --> 00:13:22,723 you've lost nothing. 370 00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:28,603 - Alright. But they come in unarmed. 371 00:13:28,643 --> 00:13:30,723 - Inspector, I volunteer. 372 00:13:30,723 --> 00:13:34,363 - Strauss you are turning into one fucking amazing corporal 373 00:13:34,363 --> 00:13:35,203 - Thank you, sir. 374 00:13:35,203 --> 00:13:37,123 - I will confess, that day when you walked in 375 00:13:37,123 --> 00:13:39,683 I thought, "who the hell is this streaker pissing on" 376 00:13:39,683 --> 00:13:40,523 - Yes, I knew that. 377 00:13:40,523 --> 00:13:42,643 - And to be honest I've been thinking that ever since. 378 00:13:42,643 --> 00:13:43,923 - I didn't know that. 379 00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:45,723 - Listen, you've got what it takes, you have 380 00:13:45,723 --> 00:13:47,683 the biggest pair of balls I've ever seen. 381 00:13:47,683 --> 00:13:50,003 - God, that is probably the nicest thing that anyone 382 00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:52,643 has every said to me! Here goes! 383 00:13:54,723 --> 00:13:56,723 - That's called the slight of handcuff trick. 384 00:13:56,723 --> 00:13:59,483 You ain't learn everything. The only way out of this is 385 00:13:59,483 --> 00:14:00,763 to go further in. 386 00:14:00,763 --> 00:14:05,363 Flora! I'll save ya! Patrick, I'm coming in! 387 00:14:05,363 --> 00:14:06,643 - Open your coat. 388 00:14:08,203 --> 00:14:10,043 Up the stairs, come on. 389 00:14:10,043 --> 00:14:11,123 - Alright 390 00:14:11,123 --> 00:14:13,203 - Flora? Do you mean Hetty? 391 00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:24,923 (Hetty screaming) 392 00:14:27,963 --> 00:14:29,283 - Ain't no tricks! 393 00:14:29,283 --> 00:14:31,163 - [Rabbitt] No! No tricks Patrick, hello ladies. 394 00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:32,363 I'm guessing you're Hetty. Well, I'm your replacement so 395 00:14:32,363 --> 00:14:34,923 I'm guessing you're Hetty. Well, I'm your replacement so 396 00:14:34,923 --> 00:14:36,403 off you go 397 00:14:36,403 --> 00:14:39,923 - Oh! Thank you! What are you called I'll name 398 00:14:39,923 --> 00:14:41,243 the baby after you. 399 00:14:41,283 --> 00:14:42,123 - My name is Rabbit. 400 00:14:42,123 --> 00:14:44,963 - Oh, fuck that. Well thanks is all the same. 401 00:14:44,963 --> 00:14:46,243 - Right. 402 00:14:46,243 --> 00:14:47,363 - [Patrick] Come on, easy. 403 00:14:47,363 --> 00:14:48,963 - [Rabbit] Calm down. 404 00:14:48,963 --> 00:14:49,803 - Pop yourself there. 405 00:14:49,803 --> 00:14:50,683 - Okay. 406 00:14:52,443 --> 00:14:54,923 (clock ticks) 407 00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:57,843 - What happened there? 408 00:14:57,843 --> 00:15:00,323 - Oh, the dog chewed it off last Christmas Eve. 409 00:15:01,923 --> 00:15:04,563 I got a question, what sort of poison gas, this is 410 00:15:04,563 --> 00:15:07,363 a match factory. Everything's flammable. 411 00:15:07,363 --> 00:15:09,283 One spark and this place will go up like 412 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,643 fucking Guy Fawkes Night. 413 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:10,683 (girls scream) 414 00:15:10,763 --> 00:15:11,683 (girls scream) 415 00:15:11,683 --> 00:15:11,723 Sorry girls. 416 00:15:11,763 --> 00:15:12,523 Sorry girls. 417 00:15:12,523 --> 00:15:13,363 - Shut up! 418 00:15:15,803 --> 00:15:18,043 - Well if you ain't gonna say something 419 00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,803 at least give me something to read. 420 00:15:22,123 --> 00:15:23,323 - Take that and shut up. 421 00:15:27,323 --> 00:15:28,163 - Where's Rabbit? 422 00:15:28,163 --> 00:15:30,443 - Swapped himself for a hostage, it's the bravest 423 00:15:30,443 --> 00:15:31,523 thing I ever saw, Mabel! 424 00:15:31,523 --> 00:15:34,043 - Alright love! This way, this way! 425 00:15:34,043 --> 00:15:34,963 What, is it your first? 426 00:15:34,963 --> 00:15:35,963 - No, third 427 00:15:35,963 --> 00:15:37,043 - Oh you've been busy you don't look more 428 00:15:37,043 --> 00:15:38,003 than twenty three. 429 00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:38,843 - Oh, I'm seventeen! 430 00:15:38,843 --> 00:15:40,323 - I'm not judging, I'm not judging. 431 00:15:41,323 --> 00:15:42,363 - How can we help him? 432 00:15:42,363 --> 00:15:44,123 - Um, uh, hang on, where's the note? 433 00:15:44,123 --> 00:15:49,123 - Oh yes, my dearest Wilbur, my heart.. 434 00:15:50,763 --> 00:15:52,643 - No the note from the match girls. 435 00:15:52,643 --> 00:15:53,443 - Oh yeah. 436 00:15:56,843 --> 00:15:59,083 - Uh, "only seven girls fell into a phosphorus 437 00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,763 coma last year thanks to our patented airflow system." 438 00:16:03,523 --> 00:16:06,523 (suspenseful music) 439 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,203 - Why don't you have any demands? 440 00:16:12,203 --> 00:16:13,443 - Stop talking to me 441 00:16:13,443 --> 00:16:14,883 - And what did you do with Elephant Man's money? 442 00:16:14,883 --> 00:16:16,363 - I can't remember 443 00:16:16,363 --> 00:16:18,123 - There's a shiny patch on your waistcoat where 444 00:16:18,123 --> 00:16:20,643 your watch was, I reckon you sold it, and your 445 00:16:20,643 --> 00:16:23,363 paper is on the racing results. 446 00:16:23,363 --> 00:16:24,443 - You need to shut your mouth. 447 00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:26,923 - Do I now? You fancy a wager, Patrick? 448 00:16:26,923 --> 00:16:28,843 Ten shillings says you can't hold that lever for 449 00:16:28,843 --> 00:16:29,763 another twenty minutes. 450 00:16:29,763 --> 00:16:30,603 - Stop it. 451 00:16:30,603 --> 00:16:33,443 - Alright, make it fifteen. Or a quid. Or let's make it 452 00:16:33,443 --> 00:16:35,403 really interesting, how about a fiver? 453 00:16:35,403 --> 00:16:36,243 - No! 454 00:16:36,243 --> 00:16:37,723 - Because you like a gamble don't you, Patrick? 455 00:16:37,723 --> 00:16:40,003 You like a flutter, probably a bit too much. 456 00:16:40,003 --> 00:16:41,963 You got family, and kids. 457 00:16:43,523 --> 00:16:46,203 Is that a yes I've got kids? 458 00:16:46,203 --> 00:16:48,363 Or no they were wiped out and if you mention 459 00:16:48,363 --> 00:16:50,403 them again I'll blow your bleeding head off? 460 00:16:50,403 --> 00:16:51,883 - Yes, I've got kids. 461 00:16:51,883 --> 00:16:52,883 - I think you've got a story to tell, 462 00:16:52,883 --> 00:16:54,563 don't you, Patrick? 463 00:16:54,563 --> 00:16:56,603 You just need someone to tell it to. 464 00:16:56,603 --> 00:16:58,083 Maybe I'm your man. 465 00:16:58,283 --> 00:16:59,403 (dramatic music surges) 466 00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:00,763 - Come on, Rabbit. 467 00:17:02,363 --> 00:17:06,483 I believe in you, Rabbitt, you stupid bloody bastard. 468 00:17:07,563 --> 00:17:09,603 Rabbit! 469 00:17:11,723 --> 00:17:13,883 - Now I'm not emotionally literate but I would say 470 00:17:13,883 --> 00:17:15,723 that you're on the edge. 471 00:17:15,723 --> 00:17:17,963 - I told you to stop talking. 472 00:17:17,963 --> 00:17:20,443 - Most villains, they'd be loving this power, 473 00:17:20,443 --> 00:17:21,403 but you aren't. 474 00:17:21,403 --> 00:17:23,243 Which makes me think that you ain't one. 475 00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:24,923 - Yeah, well, you don't know me, do ya? 476 00:17:24,923 --> 00:17:27,483 - I know that you're a gambling man who's in the shit. 477 00:17:29,163 --> 00:17:30,163 There's something else isn't it? 478 00:17:30,163 --> 00:17:33,683 Someone's got to you, someone's pulling your strings, boy. 479 00:17:33,683 --> 00:17:34,483 - Shut up! 480 00:17:34,483 --> 00:17:36,883 - And it's driving you potty. Who are they? 481 00:17:36,883 --> 00:17:38,323 - I'm gonna blow your head off. 482 00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:40,483 - Well then I'd ask you for my neck hole. Who are they? 483 00:17:40,483 --> 00:17:43,083 - I didn't want to do any of this, ya know? 484 00:17:43,083 --> 00:17:46,523 None of it. Just I owe money, a shit load. 485 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:49,723 And not just to Merrick, worse people, and those people 486 00:17:49,723 --> 00:17:51,403 said that I'm roofing the kids. 487 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,043 But then they came to me. They 488 00:17:55,163 --> 00:17:57,083 - No, no, no, mate, look at me. Who are they? 489 00:17:57,083 --> 00:17:59,323 - I don't know. They just said they'd take away 490 00:17:59,323 --> 00:18:01,683 the debts. Look after the family, but I had to do 491 00:18:01,683 --> 00:18:02,963 something for them. 492 00:18:02,963 --> 00:18:04,003 - Who's they, Patrick? 493 00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:05,523 - I don't know they wouldn't let on! 494 00:18:05,523 --> 00:18:07,003 - Well you must have met one of them? 495 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,963 - They said I shouldn't tell anyone, especially not you. 496 00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:11,123 - You'd rather die then tell someone, aren't you? 497 00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:13,603 - What a woman, elegant, like, she had a 498 00:18:13,603 --> 00:18:16,283 cigarette case with a weird symbol and it was like 499 00:18:16,283 --> 00:18:18,603 an eye with arrows coming out of it. 500 00:18:20,123 --> 00:18:21,603 - Look what I found choir boy. 501 00:18:22,523 --> 00:18:23,443 - [Rabbit] Bollocks. 502 00:18:23,443 --> 00:18:24,923 - This symbol could be a clue. 503 00:18:24,923 --> 00:18:25,763 - Doubt it. 504 00:18:25,763 --> 00:18:27,443 - What about that secret society? 505 00:18:27,443 --> 00:18:31,523 - Total bollocks. The secret society is Twollocks. 506 00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:34,483 That's what Mabel's been banging on about! 507 00:18:34,483 --> 00:18:39,483 Wait, she told you, not to tell me? Why me? 508 00:18:39,923 --> 00:18:42,163 - She said "just keep him at the factory til noon, 509 00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:43,723 I don't trust him so" 510 00:18:52,283 --> 00:18:54,723 She said "don't let the girls go!" 511 00:18:54,723 --> 00:18:55,923 Now you've tricked me! 512 00:18:55,923 --> 00:18:58,563 - No! You tricked me you bastard! I should be out 513 00:18:58,563 --> 00:19:00,563 there saving a girl I love from the gallows. 514 00:19:00,563 --> 00:19:04,043 And instead, I'm in here with you, you lanky fuck. 515 00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:06,443 - [Patrick] It's nearly twelve. After that, you can go. 516 00:19:06,443 --> 00:19:08,643 - [Rabbitt] No! I can go right now. 517 00:19:08,643 --> 00:19:10,203 - Rabbitt! 518 00:19:10,203 --> 00:19:11,723 - I can't let you. 519 00:19:15,123 --> 00:19:16,043 I'm so sorry. 520 00:19:16,963 --> 00:19:21,363 (blast) (screaming) 521 00:19:25,523 --> 00:19:26,883 - You're alive! 522 00:19:26,883 --> 00:19:27,963 - That secret society? 523 00:19:27,963 --> 00:19:28,803 - [Mabel] Yeah? 524 00:19:28,803 --> 00:19:29,643 - It's real 525 00:19:29,643 --> 00:19:30,443 - I know I told you! 526 00:19:30,443 --> 00:19:31,963 - There's a mole! A mole! 527 00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:32,763 - A mole? 528 00:19:33,603 --> 00:19:35,763 - What's Rabbit's route to work? 529 00:19:35,763 --> 00:19:37,723 - Past the ten bells, the white heart, and the 530 00:19:37,723 --> 00:19:38,603 match factory. 531 00:19:41,043 --> 00:19:43,683 - A mole. Please will you let Tilly know I will 532 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:44,763 recover her lunchbox. 533 00:19:44,763 --> 00:19:45,963 - Who's Tilly? 534 00:19:45,963 --> 00:19:48,363 - Young girl. Works with you. Escaped when he shot 535 00:19:48,363 --> 00:19:49,203 Big Sam. 536 00:19:49,203 --> 00:19:50,763 - Don't know any Tilly. 537 00:19:50,763 --> 00:19:51,563 - Oh. Oh. 538 00:19:53,883 --> 00:19:55,603 - Strauss. This might be a mad thought. You know 539 00:19:55,603 --> 00:19:58,683 your lady friend? She's not called Lydia by any chance? 540 00:19:58,683 --> 00:19:59,763 - Clementine 541 00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:00,603 - Oh thank God for that. 542 00:20:00,603 --> 00:20:02,723 - She gave me a photograph. Now, you can see part 543 00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:04,763 of her shoulder. Please don't be shocked. 544 00:20:08,443 --> 00:20:10,403 I finally met a good one, haven't I? 545 00:20:12,723 --> 00:20:14,043 - No! Flora! No! 546 00:20:22,243 --> 00:20:24,443 (whistle) 547 00:20:30,083 --> 00:20:34,043 - Laugh, and the world laughs with you 548 00:20:34,043 --> 00:20:37,803 Weep, and you weep alone. Another whiskey, Gwen. 549 00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:38,923 - You've drunk it all. 550 00:20:40,963 --> 00:20:43,403 - Well how about that dusty bowl. 551 00:20:43,403 --> 00:20:47,763 - That dusty bowl has been on that shelf since 1790 552 00:20:47,763 --> 00:20:50,203 when my grandad took over. 553 00:20:50,203 --> 00:20:52,123 - Then you better bring it over. 554 00:20:52,123 --> 00:20:53,643 - Forget it. 555 00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:56,683 - [Tanner] Oh Rabbit, I thought I'd find you in here. 556 00:20:56,683 --> 00:20:59,523 I bring big news from the station. 557 00:20:59,523 --> 00:21:01,643 My God, look at the state of you. 558 00:21:01,643 --> 00:21:02,923 - How's your eye? 559 00:21:02,923 --> 00:21:05,563 - It appears the assistant commissioner has decided 560 00:21:05,563 --> 00:21:08,363 to follow my recommendations after all. 561 00:21:08,363 --> 00:21:10,883 He's fired you, Rabbit. 562 00:21:10,883 --> 00:21:13,843 You ain't a copper no more. 563 00:21:13,843 --> 00:21:16,163 - Now I think I'll press charges, they'll throw 564 00:21:16,163 --> 00:21:18,443 you in jail with the scum you've put away. 565 00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:21,203 Ooh! They'll have some fun with you in there. 566 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:28,243 - Well, if I ain't a copper no more, there's not 567 00:21:28,243 --> 00:21:31,643 a lot stopping me from doing this. 568 00:21:37,283 --> 00:21:41,683 - Get out of my pub. I ain't gonna say it nice twice. 569 00:21:41,683 --> 00:21:42,523 - Piss off. 570 00:21:46,443 --> 00:21:52,043 - Don't get the morbs, things will look better in the morning. 571 00:21:52,043 --> 00:21:53,523 - They better look better. 572 00:22:00,843 --> 00:22:03,243 They couldn't get much worse. 573 00:22:06,683 --> 00:22:09,923 (mumbling and snoring) 574 00:22:20,963 --> 00:22:22,883 What the shit? 575 00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:22,923 (banging) 576 00:22:23,003 --> 00:22:23,803 (banging) 577 00:22:23,963 --> 00:22:26,603 - [Policeman] Police! Coming in!