1 00:00:06,624 --> 00:00:08,260 ♪ Hey, good morning, baby ♪ 2 00:00:09,630 --> 00:00:11,165 ♪ You need some java, baby? ♪ 3 00:00:12,001 --> 00:00:14,205 ♪ We got to wake up, baby ♪ 4 00:00:14,205 --> 00:00:16,744 ♪ Last night was really crazy ♪ 5 00:00:16,744 --> 00:00:18,781 ♪ I think I liked it, baby ♪ 6 00:00:18,781 --> 00:00:20,752 ♪ Damn, you smooth, baby ♪ 7 00:00:20,752 --> 00:00:24,425 ♪ Looking like you moisturize, baby ♪ 8 00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:27,031 ♪ Tell me where to buy it, baby ♪ 9 00:00:27,031 --> 00:00:28,601 ♪ I'm dry, I need the product, baby ♪ 10 00:00:29,736 --> 00:00:31,439 ♪ Got my hand on navel ♪ 11 00:00:31,439 --> 00:00:34,312 ♪ Then she slid her panties to the ankle ♪ 12 00:00:34,312 --> 00:00:36,584 ♪ Made me back up and look at the bussy ♪ 13 00:00:36,584 --> 00:00:38,386 ♪ Bussy glistening like a heavyweight ♪ 14 00:00:39,723 --> 00:00:42,228 ♪ You want to fuck me, baby? ♪ 15 00:00:42,228 --> 00:00:44,098 ♪ Haven't showered in a minute, girl ♪ 16 00:00:44,098 --> 00:00:46,369 ♪ But if you with it, then I'm with it, baby ♪ 17 00:00:46,369 --> 00:00:49,275 ♪ I will shower you with every curl ♪ 18 00:00:49,275 --> 00:00:51,547 ♪ Are you freaky, baby? ♪ 19 00:00:51,547 --> 00:00:53,618 ♪ Spooning me like I was soup ♪ 20 00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:56,489 ♪ Want me to be dirty like a goose? ♪ 21 00:00:56,489 --> 00:00:59,563 ♪ Ooh, but what do you like, baby? ♪ 22 00:00:59,563 --> 00:01:02,268 ♪ Do you want me to choke you, baby? ♪ 23 00:01:02,268 --> 00:01:04,305 ♪ She said, "That's okay, baby" ♪ 24 00:01:04,305 --> 00:01:06,476 ♪ "That's okay" as in you want that? ♪ 25 00:01:06,476 --> 00:01:10,083 ♪ Or "That's okay" as in "No, thanks, baby"? ♪ 26 00:01:10,083 --> 00:01:12,187 ♪ She look at me crazy ♪ 27 00:01:12,187 --> 00:01:14,258 ♪ I said, I don't mean to complicate it, no, no ♪ 28 00:01:14,258 --> 00:01:16,329 ♪ Let me grab a condom, baby ♪ 29 00:01:16,329 --> 00:01:18,868 ♪ I put it on, then she, then she ♪ 30 00:01:18,868 --> 00:01:21,540 ♪ Throws it back, give me the ass, pop it ♪ 31 00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:24,245 ♪ Tickle the breast, nibble the crack, stop it ♪ 32 00:01:24,245 --> 00:01:26,215 ♪ General Custer, with the tactics, I'm a demon ♪ 33 00:01:26,215 --> 00:01:29,723 ♪ I could feel the semen creeping 'round the penis ♪ 34 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,694 ♪ Being a man in there ♪ 35 00:01:31,694 --> 00:01:34,766 ♪ We need a ambulance, pussy getting killed ♪ 36 00:01:34,766 --> 00:01:37,739 ♪ She orgasming, body spasming ♪ 37 00:01:37,739 --> 00:01:41,847 ♪ Then I finally finish, can you feel it, baby? ♪ 38 00:01:41,847 --> 00:01:43,718 ♪ Sliding off, where's the condom? ♪ 39 00:01:43,718 --> 00:01:46,657 ♪ Whoa! Well, it's not on my penis, baby ♪ 40 00:01:46,657 --> 00:01:49,295 ♪ It's so confusing, baby ♪ 41 00:01:49,295 --> 00:01:51,700 ♪ Uh, did I-did I just fuck you raw, baby? ♪ 42 00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:53,470 ♪ Uh, I'm looking round and I don't see it, baby ♪ 43 00:01:53,470 --> 00:01:55,307 ♪ I move the blanket, move the covers ♪ 44 00:01:55,307 --> 00:01:57,211 ♪ Where's the rubber, baby? ♪ 45 00:01:57,211 --> 00:01:59,415 ♪ Now she's digging like a caveman in her bussy for it ♪ 46 00:01:59,415 --> 00:02:01,720 ♪ Even if you find it in there, what's the difference, baby? ♪ 47 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:04,225 ♪ Semen probably already leaking in there, swimming in you ♪ 48 00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:05,528 ♪ She says she still don't want no condoms ♪ 49 00:02:05,528 --> 00:02:06,764 ♪ Sitting in her insides ♪ 50 00:02:06,764 --> 00:02:08,534 ♪ I said I understand ♪ 51 00:02:08,534 --> 00:02:09,803 ♪ But there are bigger fish to fry ♪ 52 00:02:09,803 --> 00:02:11,540 ♪ She said, "You blaming me" ♪ 53 00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:13,611 ♪ "But you're the one who put it on" ♪ 54 00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:15,581 ♪ I am not blaming you, and I don't think I put it on wrong ♪ 55 00:02:15,581 --> 00:02:17,719 ♪ I put it on my pinky first to see which way it go ♪ 56 00:02:17,719 --> 00:02:19,523 ♪ Because I'm well aware that condoms aren't reversible ♪ 57 00:02:19,523 --> 00:02:20,825 ♪ She screamed, "I found it, baby!" ♪ 58 00:02:20,825 --> 00:02:22,261 ♪ She pulled it out her bussy ♪ 59 00:02:22,261 --> 00:02:23,531 ♪ But I can't celebrate it ♪ 60 00:02:23,531 --> 00:02:24,633 ♪ 'Cause we got bigger fishy ♪ 61 00:02:24,633 --> 00:02:25,935 ♪ Girl, I ejaculated ♪ 62 00:02:25,935 --> 00:02:27,237 ♪ And I don't see it in there ♪ 63 00:02:27,237 --> 00:02:28,841 ♪ She said it's fine ♪ 64 00:02:28,841 --> 00:02:30,645 ♪ She'll just take the morning-after pill ♪ 65 00:02:30,645 --> 00:02:32,649 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 66 00:02:32,649 --> 00:02:34,485 ♪ Thank God for the tech now ♪ 67 00:02:34,485 --> 00:02:37,257 ♪ We should probably go and get it now ♪ 68 00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:40,631 ♪ This is life when you're young and wild. ♪ 69 00:02:40,631 --> 00:02:42,836 Don't worry, it'll be fine. 70 00:02:42,836 --> 00:02:46,510 - Okay. Let's lie down after all that. - (sighs) 71 00:02:46,510 --> 00:02:48,681 - Ah. Take the load off. - (chuckles) 72 00:02:48,681 --> 00:02:51,285 Get in here. 73 00:02:51,285 --> 00:02:53,356 - (shutter clicks) - Oh. 74 00:02:54,358 --> 00:02:55,928 - Wow. (chuckles) - Okay. 75 00:02:55,928 --> 00:02:58,199 I fucked Lil Dicky. 76 00:02:58,968 --> 00:03:01,339 (sighs) 77 00:03:04,679 --> 00:03:07,484 ♪ ♪ 78 00:03:19,509 --> 00:03:21,613 GATA: I promise you, bro. You cannot get a STD 79 00:03:21,613 --> 00:03:23,684 going in the pussy raw for only ten seconds. 80 00:03:23,684 --> 00:03:25,353 Who says it was ten seconds? 81 00:03:25,353 --> 00:03:26,890 It could've been ten, it could've been 48. 82 00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:28,894 I have no idea. I fucked the condom off my dick 83 00:03:28,894 --> 00:03:30,631 trying to give her this, like, rock star style sex 84 00:03:30,631 --> 00:03:32,367 that I assume she wants out of me. 85 00:03:32,367 --> 00:03:33,637 You are a rock star. This your first tour. 86 00:03:33,637 --> 00:03:34,973 You're supposed to go hard. 87 00:03:34,973 --> 00:03:36,844 That's the whole issue, in my opinion. 88 00:03:36,844 --> 00:03:39,315 I feel like all of these girls just want to fuck Lil Dicky. 89 00:03:39,315 --> 00:03:41,720 Is it really a crime to want someone who wants 90 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,691 to fall in love with... 91 00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:45,427 - the real Dave? - Bro, you got to think about her needs. 92 00:03:45,427 --> 00:03:46,997 She got her nails done, she got her outfit. 93 00:03:46,997 --> 00:03:48,567 She told all her friends. 94 00:03:48,567 --> 00:03:49,836 It's gonna be the highlight of her year. 95 00:03:49,836 --> 00:03:51,740 You got to beat the pussy up, bro. 96 00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:53,778 But I don't even... I don't fuck like this. 97 00:03:53,778 --> 00:03:55,313 That's not how I fuck, Gata, okay? 98 00:03:55,313 --> 00:03:58,019 I-I do this. It's more... It's rhythmic. 99 00:03:58,019 --> 00:03:59,689 Man, that shit look complicated, man. 100 00:03:59,689 --> 00:04:02,327 Complicated? It's so simple. It's missionary. 101 00:04:02,327 --> 00:04:04,265 - (scoffs) - (country music plays quietly) 102 00:04:04,265 --> 00:04:05,802 (door closes) 103 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,578 DAVE: Hi. 104 00:04:12,582 --> 00:04:14,853 You're just gonna bust those open, bruh? 105 00:04:14,853 --> 00:04:16,523 - You ain't gonna pay for them first? - I'm gonna pay for 'em. 106 00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:18,894 - Just chill out. - (scoffs) 107 00:04:25,373 --> 00:04:27,344 (man clears throat) 108 00:04:27,344 --> 00:04:30,718 Y'all find everything okay? 109 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,960 Yeah. (coughs) Oh. 110 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,730 I'm sorry. 111 00:04:36,730 --> 00:04:40,705 You guys have condoms here? 112 00:04:40,705 --> 00:04:42,374 It's the same condoms everywhere. 113 00:04:42,374 --> 00:04:43,777 Why don't they make, like, 114 00:04:43,777 --> 00:04:45,515 smaller condoms for the smaller dicks? 115 00:04:45,515 --> 00:04:48,319 Like, they make Magnums for, like, big-dicked men. 116 00:04:48,319 --> 00:04:49,789 I feel like the condom would stay on the dick easier 117 00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,425 if it was smaller sometimes. 118 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,829 GATA: If you're that concerned about STDs, 119 00:04:52,829 --> 00:04:54,533 why don't you just use the Scroguard, bro, 120 00:04:54,533 --> 00:04:56,035 that Mike got you-- that plastic diaper shit? 121 00:04:56,035 --> 00:04:58,507 Uh, that's private business. Don't talk about it. 122 00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:01,078 I don't know what he's talking about, but he's not dangerous. 123 00:05:01,078 --> 00:05:04,619 - You crazy, man. - They know I'm joking. 124 00:05:04,619 --> 00:05:06,690 GATA: Man, they got the Confederate flag in there, bro. 125 00:05:06,690 --> 00:05:08,359 - It's the Texas flag. - (scoffs) 126 00:05:08,359 --> 00:05:10,965 Looked pretty Confederate to me, man. Hey, Cliff. 127 00:05:10,965 --> 00:05:12,569 I got the goods. 128 00:05:12,569 --> 00:05:13,904 - Ooh. - Pistachios, but I can't... 129 00:05:13,904 --> 00:05:15,808 - For you. - Merci. 130 00:05:15,808 --> 00:05:17,879 - They break my teeth, man. - For you. - Thank you. 131 00:05:17,879 --> 00:05:19,950 - You want to smoke this? - All right, man. It's hot. 132 00:05:19,950 --> 00:05:22,487 - Uh, I'll take a hit, I guess. - (Gata scoffs) 133 00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:26,429 You just wet m y fucking blunt. You're fucking nasty. 134 00:05:26,429 --> 00:05:27,799 I'm gonna get some color. 135 00:05:27,799 --> 00:05:29,335 ELZ: Racist. 136 00:05:29,335 --> 00:05:31,405 No disrespect. 137 00:05:45,735 --> 00:05:49,074 (sighs) 138 00:05:49,074 --> 00:05:50,678 (footsteps approaching) 139 00:05:50,678 --> 00:05:52,381 Trying to burn off the bacteria? 140 00:05:52,381 --> 00:05:54,686 I'm just not built for this. 141 00:05:54,686 --> 00:05:57,357 I can't be, like, the rapper who goes around 142 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,796 and fucks every night. That's not my thing. 143 00:05:59,796 --> 00:06:01,833 But I'm trying to rewire my brain 144 00:06:01,833 --> 00:06:03,571 so I can actually have fun for once. 145 00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:04,940 You've been stressed. You've been working so hard. 146 00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:06,843 I know. And tour is just the one time in life 147 00:06:06,843 --> 00:06:09,616 - where there's no album to hand in. - Yup. 148 00:06:09,616 --> 00:06:11,620 There's no songs to make. I can just be free 149 00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:13,489 - and live life to the F. - Yup. 150 00:06:13,489 --> 00:06:15,628 It's exactly like the time I was up in the air. It was one 151 00:06:15,628 --> 00:06:17,799 - of those moments... - This has nothing to do with skydiving. 152 00:06:17,799 --> 00:06:18,934 This has everything to do with skydiving, David. 153 00:06:18,934 --> 00:06:20,403 - Nothing to do... - No, when you're 154 00:06:20,403 --> 00:06:21,405 hurtling toward the earth 155 00:06:21,405 --> 00:06:22,775 at 120 miles an hour, 156 00:06:22,775 --> 00:06:24,546 you're reaching max veloce, it's incredible. 157 00:06:24,546 --> 00:06:25,915 And the chute doesn't open, you start to freak out, 158 00:06:25,915 --> 00:06:27,552 but that's when you learn. You learn, David. 159 00:06:27,552 --> 00:06:29,623 - When the instructor kisses you - Mm. 160 00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,960 on the small of your neck, and he says, "I'm sorry!," 161 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,966 that's when you learn to let go. 162 00:06:34,966 --> 00:06:38,707 I desperately crave a genuine romantic connection. 163 00:06:38,707 --> 00:06:41,412 Like, I need to fall in love. That's just who I am. 164 00:06:41,412 --> 00:06:44,686 - Well, maybe you shouldn't hook up with your fans anymore. - Okay. 165 00:06:44,686 --> 00:06:46,188 Maybe you shouldn't... We don't need this 166 00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:47,759 - for the documentary, okay? - Yeah, we do. 167 00:06:47,759 --> 00:06:50,731 Don't tell me what to do with my documentary. 168 00:06:50,731 --> 00:06:52,434 Uh, I don't want this footage, Emma. 169 00:06:52,434 --> 00:06:53,570 MIKE: You don't know what you're gonna use. 170 00:06:53,570 --> 00:06:54,506 DAVE: Get different stuff. 171 00:06:54,506 --> 00:06:56,576 ♪ ♪ 172 00:07:09,936 --> 00:07:11,907 - EMMA: I can't listen to this another time. - MIKE: It's exhilarating. 173 00:07:11,907 --> 00:07:13,644 But what I'm saying is when you're plummeting towards 174 00:07:13,644 --> 00:07:15,180 - the earth at terminal velocity, - EMMA: God, I get it. 175 00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:16,650 the earth feels like it's gonna swallow you whole. 176 00:07:16,650 --> 00:07:18,486 It's so scary, dude, but you live. 177 00:07:18,486 --> 00:07:20,658 I love this story. He's still telling the story, huh? 178 00:07:20,658 --> 00:07:22,027 - MIKE: Yeah. - Hey, LD, what's them islands 179 00:07:22,027 --> 00:07:23,631 we going to on this tour? 180 00:07:23,631 --> 00:07:25,501 Uh, I don't know the specifics, but... 181 00:07:25,501 --> 00:07:27,905 (whoops) We going to the Specifics, y'all. 182 00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:29,676 - Specifics. - Huh. Um... 183 00:07:29,676 --> 00:07:31,513 - Are you performing tonight? - Oh, no. 184 00:07:31,513 --> 00:07:33,550 Tonight's all about my sweet baby G right here. 185 00:07:33,550 --> 00:07:35,688 - MIKE: Gata's night, baby. - Big dog's night. - Hey, Lubbock, Texas 186 00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,558 - ain't ready for a nigga like me. - DAVE: They're not. 187 00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,194 They never were. They never were a day. They never will be. 188 00:07:39,194 --> 00:07:40,898 - That's what I do. - Uh, that's what you've been doing. 189 00:07:40,898 --> 00:07:43,771 - Big G! - Gata. - (whooping) 190 00:07:43,771 --> 00:07:45,574 Aw, LD, do one song with me, bro. 191 00:07:45,574 --> 00:07:47,578 No, thank you. 192 00:07:47,578 --> 00:07:49,816 It's my one night off. Come on. I-I'm trying 193 00:07:49,816 --> 00:07:51,520 - to blend into the background, be a normal guy. - Yeah. 194 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:52,789 It's hard to meet your wife when you're onstage 195 00:07:52,789 --> 00:07:54,592 - being the star. - Well, some people say 196 00:07:54,592 --> 00:07:56,095 - that's the easiest way to meet your wife. - Aw. 197 00:07:56,095 --> 00:07:57,999 You're with him every day? How do you resist him? 198 00:07:57,999 --> 00:08:00,738 - Are you serious? - DAVE: Look, 199 00:08:00,738 --> 00:08:02,207 I just want to know if everyone's all in 200 00:08:02,207 --> 00:08:03,811 to have the best night they can possibly have. 201 00:08:03,811 --> 00:08:05,113 'Cause I need that type of comradery... 202 00:08:05,113 --> 00:08:08,721 (overlapping shouting, cheering) 203 00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:10,891 ♪ Too many women, I got too many women ♪ 204 00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:13,797 ♪ Man, my biggest problem, I got too many women ♪ 205 00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:16,703 ♪ Damn, my head's spinning, I got too many women ♪ 206 00:08:16,703 --> 00:08:18,741 ♪ Am I living in sin and I see too many women ♪ 207 00:08:18,741 --> 00:08:22,214 ♪ I'm married to the money, but I'm in love with my women ♪ 208 00:08:22,214 --> 00:08:25,020 ♪ Dark-skinned, light-skinned, Puerto Rican, Asian ♪ 209 00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:27,558 ♪ Sorry, Mama, but your son is crazy ♪ 210 00:08:27,558 --> 00:08:29,963 ♪ I'm-a get it together if they pay me. ♪ 211 00:08:29,963 --> 00:08:32,769 - Yeah. - (cheering, whooping) 212 00:08:32,769 --> 00:08:34,572 Yeah! 213 00:08:34,572 --> 00:08:36,710 - (indistinct shout) - CROWD (chanting): Dicky! Dicky! 214 00:08:36,710 --> 00:08:40,718 - Dicky! Dicky! Dicky! Dicky! - Oh, no, no, no. Gata. 215 00:08:40,718 --> 00:08:43,857 - Dicky! Dicky! Dicky! Dicky! - Gata. Gata. 216 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,895 - Dicky. Dicky. - Thanks. 217 00:08:45,895 --> 00:08:47,699 Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. 218 00:08:47,699 --> 00:08:49,736 I appreciate the love y'all got for my boy Dicky, man. 219 00:08:49,736 --> 00:08:52,240 I've been trying to get him out here on this stage tonight, 220 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,579 but he on some Carmen Sandiego type shit. 221 00:08:54,579 --> 00:08:56,850 Let's see if we can get him on stage right now! 222 00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:58,887 (cheering, whooping) 223 00:08:58,887 --> 00:09:01,593 GATA: (chanting): LD! LD! LD! 224 00:09:01,593 --> 00:09:03,764 ALL: LD! LD! 225 00:09:03,764 --> 00:09:07,872 - LD! LD! LD! LD! - (DJ airhorn blares) 226 00:09:07,872 --> 00:09:11,713 (cheering, whooping) 227 00:09:15,053 --> 00:09:17,725 ♪ I'm drunk, I'm drunk ♪ 228 00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:22,000 ♪ I'm really, really drunk ♪ 229 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,304 ♪ I'm drunk ♪ 230 00:09:24,304 --> 00:09:27,344 ♪ I'm really, really wasted ♪ 231 00:09:27,344 --> 00:09:30,183 ♪ Man, I'm so fucked-up ♪ 232 00:09:30,183 --> 00:09:32,722 ♪ I might suck a man's dick, no, I'm playing, ha-ha. ♪ 233 00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:45,313 What's your deal right now? Why are you so lethargic? 234 00:09:45,313 --> 00:09:47,785 (exhales) 235 00:09:48,787 --> 00:09:50,356 You just got sucked. 236 00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:52,962 Sloppy toppy, bro. 237 00:09:52,962 --> 00:09:54,599 Who sucked you? 238 00:09:54,599 --> 00:09:56,302 - I had to, man. You... - Where? 239 00:09:56,302 --> 00:09:57,939 (scoffs) 240 00:09:57,939 --> 00:10:00,611 What does this... Whatever, I don't care. 241 00:10:00,611 --> 00:10:02,615 Let's have fun tonight. Do you want a drink? 242 00:10:02,615 --> 00:10:05,921 Honestly, bro, I'm exhausted as fuck, bro. 243 00:10:05,921 --> 00:10:07,792 - I'm about to go lay down, dawg. - You're leaving? 244 00:10:07,792 --> 00:10:09,796 - Yeah, man. Yeah. - What about my night off? 245 00:10:09,796 --> 00:10:11,900 What about the plan that-that you committed to? 246 00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:13,837 - Man, I'm going, gone. - Gata. 247 00:10:13,837 --> 00:10:15,841 - You never honor the plan, man. - Hey, text me 248 00:10:15,841 --> 00:10:17,043 when you get to the hotel. 249 00:10:17,043 --> 00:10:19,114 ♪ ♪ 250 00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:25,828 - Hi. - Hi. 251 00:10:25,828 --> 00:10:27,632 - Is this a good time? - Yeah. 252 00:10:27,632 --> 00:10:30,003 Great, 'cause I made something for you. 253 00:10:30,003 --> 00:10:31,907 - Oh, okay. - Um... 254 00:10:31,907 --> 00:10:33,710 Oh, my God. 255 00:10:33,710 --> 00:10:35,046 It's you. 256 00:10:35,046 --> 00:10:36,817 - Oh, that's me? - Yeah. 257 00:10:36,817 --> 00:10:38,821 - (laughs) - Oh, wow. It's so heavy. 258 00:10:38,821 --> 00:10:40,658 It's concrete, that's why. 259 00:10:40,658 --> 00:10:42,060 It's, like, sharp, too. 260 00:10:42,060 --> 00:10:43,664 - I'm kind of nervous. - Don't be nervous. 261 00:10:43,664 --> 00:10:44,999 This is great. You're doing great. 262 00:10:44,999 --> 00:10:47,137 - Hey. Oh. (laughs) - Oh. 263 00:10:47,137 --> 00:10:49,976 (laughs) I appreciate this so much, okay? 264 00:10:49,976 --> 00:10:51,713 I'm such a big fan of yours. 265 00:10:51,713 --> 00:10:53,449 - Thank you. - Um, I love Penith so much, 266 00:10:53,449 --> 00:10:55,253 and I'm really trying to break into the industry, so... 267 00:10:55,253 --> 00:10:57,057 - Yeah. - Ah, here I am. (laughs) 268 00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:59,027 Well, let me tell you firsthand, 269 00:10:59,027 --> 00:11:02,000 things are surprisingly possible in life, okay? Go for it. 270 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,670 Wow. (laughs) 271 00:11:03,670 --> 00:11:05,006 - Yeah. - Thank you. 272 00:11:05,006 --> 00:11:06,877 - Sure. - Lil Dicky, I love you. 273 00:11:06,877 --> 00:11:08,647 I love you, too, okay? Be safe. 274 00:11:10,450 --> 00:11:11,987 (weak chuckle) 275 00:11:11,987 --> 00:11:14,057 (indistinct conversation) 276 00:11:19,468 --> 00:11:21,973 - I never knew that. - Yeah. All right. 277 00:11:27,150 --> 00:11:29,187 Fuck. Oh, shit. 278 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,832 WOMAN: You doing all right? 279 00:11:34,832 --> 00:11:36,135 What? 280 00:11:36,135 --> 00:11:39,308 Are you doing all right? 281 00:11:40,310 --> 00:11:43,149 Oh. Yeah. 282 00:11:43,149 --> 00:11:47,190 Just a little statutory, uh, issue I'm taking care of. 283 00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:49,896 Yeah, I'm just cleaning up somebody else's mess. 284 00:11:49,896 --> 00:11:51,265 - Hi. - Hi. (chuckles) 285 00:11:51,265 --> 00:11:53,002 - How you doing? - I'm good. I'm sor... 286 00:11:53,002 --> 00:11:54,872 I don't-I don't know you. 287 00:11:54,872 --> 00:11:56,743 Well, how could you? We're just now meeting. 288 00:11:56,743 --> 00:11:58,479 No, I know, but I know you're, like, a singer or something, 289 00:11:58,479 --> 00:12:00,216 - just here with my friends, but I just... - Oh. 290 00:12:00,216 --> 00:12:01,853 I've never heard of you. 291 00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:04,525 Honestly, I prefer that. 292 00:12:04,525 --> 00:12:06,161 Like, great. It's good 293 00:12:06,161 --> 00:12:08,299 that you have a clean slate on my personality. 294 00:12:08,299 --> 00:12:10,771 - Oh. - Yeah, I'm a-I'm a rapper, actually, not a singer. 295 00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:13,209 I do sing, song-write, all that. 296 00:12:13,209 --> 00:12:15,881 Oh, you did that song about being drunk. 297 00:12:15,881 --> 00:12:17,317 What was... what was it called? 298 00:12:17,317 --> 00:12:19,254 - It was... - "I'm Drunk." 299 00:12:19,254 --> 00:12:21,292 Oh, yeah, well, I'm on my way. 300 00:12:21,292 --> 00:12:23,229 You... pig. 301 00:12:23,229 --> 00:12:24,532 (laughs) 302 00:12:24,532 --> 00:12:27,505 I don't know. So, what's your deal-- 303 00:12:27,505 --> 00:12:29,341 you just go to live music venues 304 00:12:29,341 --> 00:12:32,080 without even knowing who the person is and you have fun? 305 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,219 Wednesdays are like my Fridays. I'm a nurse, so... 306 00:12:35,219 --> 00:12:37,223 - Ah. A nurse? - Yeah. Had to 307 00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:39,261 come blow off some steam, you know? 308 00:12:39,261 --> 00:12:40,965 I appreciate everything you do, uh, 309 00:12:40,965 --> 00:12:43,503 behind the scenes for all the sick. 310 00:12:43,503 --> 00:12:45,874 - Thank-thank you. - Yeah. But okay, 311 00:12:45,874 --> 00:12:48,045 I can't go any further without knowing your name, 312 00:12:48,045 --> 00:12:49,782 - so... - Oh, it's Campbell. 313 00:12:49,782 --> 00:12:51,118 Campbell? 314 00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:52,220 Yeah, like the soup. 315 00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:54,057 That's a perfect name. 316 00:12:54,057 --> 00:12:55,561 - Thanks? - Campbell, 317 00:12:55,561 --> 00:12:57,865 can I ask you a relatively hard-hitting question? 318 00:12:57,865 --> 00:12:59,134 Yeah. 319 00:12:59,134 --> 00:13:00,470 What's your availability 320 00:13:00,470 --> 00:13:02,374 as far as being hit on right now? 321 00:13:02,374 --> 00:13:04,946 (chuckles) Uh... 322 00:13:04,946 --> 00:13:07,083 Like, would you say you're open-minded, or not at all? 323 00:13:07,083 --> 00:13:09,087 Uh... 324 00:13:09,087 --> 00:13:12,360 Yeah, I think I, uh... I'm... 325 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,532 I'm definitely open to it. 326 00:13:15,534 --> 00:13:17,838 This is fun. 327 00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:20,176 ELZ: People are actually crazy. 328 00:13:20,176 --> 00:13:22,314 They were literally pouring tequila in their eyes. 329 00:13:22,314 --> 00:13:26,523 Like, why? I wish I had, like, 40 cameras. I keep missing shit. 330 00:13:26,523 --> 00:13:28,827 Just ask them to redo it. 331 00:13:28,827 --> 00:13:31,198 I can't do that for my doc. It's not real. 332 00:13:31,198 --> 00:13:34,939 Real? None of this is real, Emma. Are you crazy? 333 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,943 - What... - We're on tour right now. Tour's not real. 334 00:13:36,943 --> 00:13:39,481 When we come to town, it's like their version of the Super Bowl. 335 00:13:39,481 --> 00:13:42,253 Okay, Mr. Big Shot Who's Been On Tour. 336 00:13:42,253 --> 00:13:44,057 Do you not understand that white people act out 337 00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,326 when they see a camera? 338 00:13:45,326 --> 00:13:48,099 - What? - Trust me. Come on. 339 00:13:49,502 --> 00:13:51,973 - EMMA: Wait... 340 00:13:51,973 --> 00:13:54,344 - White boy summer! - White boy summer! 341 00:13:54,344 --> 00:13:56,549 (overlapping shouting) 342 00:13:56,549 --> 00:13:58,419 Then I'm gonna continue to smoke this joint, then. 343 00:13:58,419 --> 00:14:00,223 - All right. - Oh, hi, man. 344 00:14:00,223 --> 00:14:02,160 MAN: LD! 345 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:03,930 Thank you. 346 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:05,400 Does that get annoying? 347 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,638 It's just praise. It's... All it is is praise. 348 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:10,476 - Okay. - But it's the life I chose. 349 00:14:10,476 --> 00:14:12,447 - Yeah. - I always wanted to be ubiquitous. 350 00:14:12,447 --> 00:14:17,323 Well, uh... good luck, and you have a new fan, 351 00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:19,261 and I really hope that you make it. 352 00:14:19,261 --> 00:14:21,331 - Get this out of here. - (laughs) 353 00:14:21,331 --> 00:14:22,635 You're saying goodbye? 354 00:14:22,635 --> 00:14:24,237 - Well... - You're not about to leave. 355 00:14:24,237 --> 00:14:26,275 - Uh... - You can't be. You're not gonna 356 00:14:26,275 --> 00:14:27,878 let something like this totally evaporate. 357 00:14:27,878 --> 00:14:29,615 No. No, no, no. I'm engaged. 358 00:14:29,615 --> 00:14:31,385 - Oh, of course you are. - No, no, no. 359 00:14:31,385 --> 00:14:33,155 No, no, no! No, no, like... (laughs) 360 00:14:33,155 --> 00:14:36,328 Like, I'm engaged in the conversation. 361 00:14:36,328 --> 00:14:38,065 - Oh. - Yeah. 362 00:14:38,065 --> 00:14:39,502 So, a bunch of us are gonna go to my friend Connor's. 363 00:14:39,502 --> 00:14:41,105 He's having a little get-together. 364 00:14:41,105 --> 00:14:42,608 - Oh. - You want to come? 365 00:14:42,608 --> 00:14:44,979 'Cause I like hanging out with you. 366 00:14:44,979 --> 00:14:47,317 I like hanging out with you so much. 367 00:14:47,317 --> 00:14:50,123 - All right. - I do have a tour bus 368 00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,528 - parked half a block away. It's so charming. - Oh, no. 369 00:14:52,528 --> 00:14:55,901 I'm-I'm not, like, a groupie. I'm just a regular girl. 370 00:14:55,901 --> 00:14:59,007 Of course you are. I respect that. 371 00:14:59,007 --> 00:15:00,978 - We'll go to... Connor's? - Yeah, Connor. 372 00:15:00,978 --> 00:15:02,313 Okay. I have to grab something off that bus. 373 00:15:02,313 --> 00:15:04,284 - Will you stay here? - Yeah. 374 00:15:04,284 --> 00:15:05,954 Okay, because, in my opinion, I feel as though 375 00:15:05,954 --> 00:15:08,359 this is what life is all about-- moments like this. 376 00:15:09,161 --> 00:15:11,499 - (laughs) - We'll figure something out later, but yeah. 377 00:15:11,499 --> 00:15:13,436 - We'll figure it out. We'll work on it. - Okay. All right. 378 00:15:13,436 --> 00:15:16,676 SCRO-GUY: You're getting ready to have a blast, 379 00:15:16,676 --> 00:15:19,715 but you're not sure about someone's sexual past. 380 00:15:19,715 --> 00:15:24,324 Part of the skin of your genital area has a cover, 381 00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:27,297 but most is still exposed to your lover. 382 00:15:27,297 --> 00:15:29,234 Not anymore. 383 00:15:30,671 --> 00:15:32,975 Now there's Scroguard. 384 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:37,585 The powerful new product that you can wear with any condom. 385 00:15:37,585 --> 00:15:40,256 The secret is the high-quality premium latex 386 00:15:40,256 --> 00:15:42,595 that is thick enough to cover your genital area 387 00:15:42,595 --> 00:15:45,466 - but thin enough to feel like a second skin. - (mutters) 388 00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:47,403 Just fasten any two buttons 389 00:15:47,403 --> 00:15:49,575 securely into place, and when you're ready... 390 00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:52,080 Hey, Dave... Oh, shit! 391 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:55,153 - Oh! - Geez. (stammers) Uh... No shitting on the bus! 392 00:15:55,153 --> 00:15:56,689 No, I'm not-I'm not shitting! 393 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,527 I'm just fixing my pants. 394 00:15:58,527 --> 00:16:01,431 I changed my underwear 'cause I met a girl 395 00:16:01,431 --> 00:16:03,335 and I was talking to her, and I-I, like, 396 00:16:03,335 --> 00:16:05,373 soaked my first underwear with pre-cum. 397 00:16:05,373 --> 00:16:08,012 - Okay. - I-I met a girl. 398 00:16:08,012 --> 00:16:10,383 Uh, congratulations, man. I'm happy for you. 399 00:16:10,383 --> 00:16:12,020 - Wish me luck. - You deserve love, Dave. 400 00:16:17,531 --> 00:16:19,502 - ♪ Worry about tomorrow... ♪ - ♪ Don't drink and drive ♪ 401 00:16:19,502 --> 00:16:21,371 ♪ Give me that pizza, dawg, give me that pizza ♪ 402 00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:23,209 ♪ You know, I gotta eat ya ♪ 403 00:16:23,209 --> 00:16:25,079 ♪ Uber says my driver's name is Gangi ♪ 404 00:16:25,079 --> 00:16:27,183 ♪ And he said he's hard of hearing ♪ 405 00:16:27,183 --> 00:16:29,221 - ♪ Cool, I don't care... ♪ - CAMPBELL: Sorry. 406 00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:31,391 - No, this is honestly my fault, uh... - Anyway, anyway, okay. 407 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,597 - It was like 3:00 a. m., and we're all, like - Yeah. 408 00:16:33,597 --> 00:16:35,567 - Sure. - drunk as piss, and all of a sudden, we hear, 409 00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:37,571 like a "bang, bang, bang." Like, Jurassic Park or something. 410 00:16:37,571 --> 00:16:39,509 - It was like... - Oh, my God. What was it-- like, a rapist? 411 00:16:39,509 --> 00:16:41,445 No, no. It was actually my goat. 412 00:16:41,445 --> 00:16:43,315 My goat got out of its pen. It was, like, ramming its horns 413 00:16:43,315 --> 00:16:45,319 - against the glass. Ramming... - Wait, hold it. You have a goat? 414 00:16:45,319 --> 00:16:46,723 - Like, you're a goat owner? - Mm-hmm. 415 00:16:46,723 --> 00:16:48,325 Yeah, I got a bunch of goats. 416 00:16:48,325 --> 00:16:50,731 You're, like, out of a fable. 417 00:16:50,731 --> 00:16:52,668 Hey, you're the fucking GOAT, LD. Come on. 418 00:16:52,668 --> 00:16:55,473 - Hey, y'all, shut the fuck up! - Thank you, bro. 419 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,343 Sorry. Don't even look at that. 420 00:16:57,343 --> 00:16:59,347 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - He's fine. Oh. 421 00:16:59,347 --> 00:17:01,118 - Get in here. - (laughs) 422 00:17:01,118 --> 00:17:02,755 Wow, you just broke the touch barrier. 423 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,625 - (laughing) - So nonchalantly, 424 00:17:04,625 --> 00:17:06,529 you're just gonna break it like that, and not even... Wow. 425 00:17:06,529 --> 00:17:08,733 - I mean, someone had to. - I'm totally on board with it, FYI. 426 00:17:08,733 --> 00:17:11,471 - Um... - Oh, my God. 427 00:17:14,277 --> 00:17:15,814 I have to pee. 428 00:17:15,814 --> 00:17:18,085 Yeah. I understand that. 429 00:17:18,085 --> 00:17:20,356 I've had to pee in the past, and you never know when it's coming. 430 00:17:20,356 --> 00:17:22,528 - Thank you. All right. - Yeah. I'm right there with you. 431 00:17:22,528 --> 00:17:24,097 - Get all the piss out. - All right. 432 00:17:24,097 --> 00:17:25,399 - I'll be right here. I'm great. - Okay. 433 00:17:25,399 --> 00:17:26,636 I'm in heaven. 434 00:17:26,636 --> 00:17:28,372 (sighs) 435 00:17:28,372 --> 00:17:30,376 (indistinct chatter) 436 00:17:30,376 --> 00:17:31,779 (passes gas) 437 00:17:31,779 --> 00:17:33,583 (sighs) 438 00:17:33,583 --> 00:17:36,455 What's up, man? 439 00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:39,427 Hey. You guys hanging? 440 00:17:39,427 --> 00:17:40,697 - CONNOR: How you doing? - Good. 441 00:17:40,697 --> 00:17:43,503 - (sighs) - MATTY: Hey, man, so... 442 00:17:43,503 --> 00:17:45,807 (muttering) 443 00:17:45,807 --> 00:17:47,645 What? 444 00:17:49,414 --> 00:17:51,385 You like Ram? 445 00:17:51,385 --> 00:17:54,257 R-Ram? Uh, do I like what? 446 00:17:54,257 --> 00:17:56,194 - Uh... - What do you mean? Like the... 447 00:17:56,194 --> 00:17:58,465 - Like the processing power? - CONNOR: It's... 448 00:17:58,465 --> 00:17:59,802 the L. A. Rams. Like, Los Angeles Rams. 449 00:17:59,802 --> 00:18:02,307 - Like, uh, football team. - Oh, shit. 450 00:18:02,307 --> 00:18:04,444 Is he okay, or is he on, like, Oxys or something? 451 00:18:04,444 --> 00:18:07,283 - CONNOR: No, no. I mean... - Is this Appalachia that we're in? 452 00:18:07,283 --> 00:18:09,555 'Cause I know all about the opioid crisis that you probably 453 00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:10,824 have to deal with at every moment. 454 00:18:10,824 --> 00:18:12,528 I've got molly, if you want some. 455 00:18:12,528 --> 00:18:15,667 Oh. No, thanks. 456 00:18:15,667 --> 00:18:18,607 It's, like, dark purple. 457 00:18:18,607 --> 00:18:20,544 I'm okay. 458 00:18:20,544 --> 00:18:22,681 I don't even understand the color spectrum of molly, but... 459 00:18:22,681 --> 00:18:25,821 - What's your name? We haven't met. - Grace. 460 00:18:25,821 --> 00:18:29,829 - You... Race? - Hey, are you hiring, by the way, LD? 461 00:18:29,829 --> 00:18:33,469 - No. - Um, I majored in-in golf course management. 462 00:18:33,469 --> 00:18:35,507 - Uh-huh. - Um, but there's a lot 463 00:18:35,507 --> 00:18:37,645 - of crossover between the two. - Yeah, I think 464 00:18:37,645 --> 00:18:39,849 you're better off on the greens there, 'cause, like, 465 00:18:39,849 --> 00:18:43,255 - we're just so fully staffed. - No, yeah, yeah, yeah. 466 00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:44,625 Yeah. 467 00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:46,729 Um, normally, 468 00:18:46,729 --> 00:18:48,700 like, shit's like way more popping, you know? Like... 469 00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:50,202 - No. - It's pretty low-key, 'cause it's Wednesday night 470 00:18:50,202 --> 00:18:52,340 - and shit, and, like... - All good. All G. 471 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:53,877 But, yo, like, normally, we're playing, like, 472 00:18:53,877 --> 00:18:56,616 Mancala or, like, Cards Against Humanity, 473 00:18:56,616 --> 00:18:58,520 - or, like, fucking... - Sure. 474 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:00,590 - If you came back, like, on a... - Yeah. 475 00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:03,195 No, don't... No presh, man. I'm, like, just happy to be... 476 00:19:03,195 --> 00:19:05,801 I'm honestly here 'cause of Campbell. 477 00:19:05,801 --> 00:19:07,604 - Bro. - Yeah. 478 00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:10,677 I heard her pussy's a straight-up V. 479 00:19:10,677 --> 00:19:14,752 I... Yeah, I believe you. Um... 480 00:19:14,752 --> 00:19:17,390 Hey, you know what? Fuck it. Hey, Hey, Travis! 481 00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:19,762 Hey, fire that shit up! We're playing Hot Seat, bitch. 482 00:19:19,762 --> 00:19:21,499 - (people whooping) - What are we doing? 483 00:19:21,499 --> 00:19:22,568 (laughs) 484 00:19:27,978 --> 00:19:29,515 DAVE: It's a prank phone call- based game? 485 00:19:29,515 --> 00:19:30,517 - Mm-hmm. Shh. - How often do you play it? 486 00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:31,786 All right. All right. 487 00:19:31,786 --> 00:19:33,355 (line ringing) 488 00:19:33,355 --> 00:19:36,496 ♪ ♪ 489 00:19:36,496 --> 00:19:37,765 - MAN: Hello? - Hey. 490 00:19:37,765 --> 00:19:40,570 I'm... I'm with your brother. 491 00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:43,576 Wait, Tim's with you? He okay? 492 00:19:43,576 --> 00:19:45,947 - He's OD'ing. - Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 493 00:19:45,947 --> 00:19:47,785 Did you call 911? 494 00:19:47,785 --> 00:19:50,423 Yeah, but they can't... 495 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:53,530 - CAMPBELL: Come on. - revive... Aah! 496 00:19:53,530 --> 00:19:55,399 - (laughing cheering) - It's the hot seat! Fuck! 497 00:19:55,399 --> 00:19:56,703 Okay, I'm gonna get another drink. 498 00:19:56,703 --> 00:19:58,640 - Where you going? - (indistinct chatter) 499 00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:00,711 - I'm getting another drink. - DAVE: Hurry back. - Hey, LD. 500 00:20:00,711 --> 00:20:02,848 Wait. You probably got all sorts 501 00:20:02,848 --> 00:20:04,317 of celebs and shit in your phone. 502 00:20:04,317 --> 00:20:05,987 - (laughs) - Wait. I... 503 00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:06,989 Come on. 504 00:20:06,989 --> 00:20:09,662 Alfonso Ribeiro? 505 00:20:09,662 --> 00:20:11,465 That a pasta? 506 00:20:11,465 --> 00:20:13,670 Carlton? That doesn't mean anything when I say it? Carlton? 507 00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:15,674 All right, all right, all right. LD, come on. It's your turn. 508 00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:17,678 - Oh, no. I'm... - Come on. Get on that hot seat, 509 00:20:17,678 --> 00:20:18,680 - for old times' sake. - You... 510 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:19,982 Let me watch how you... 511 00:20:19,982 --> 00:20:21,351 - CONNOR: Fuck you. - What are you doing? 512 00:20:21,351 --> 00:20:22,855 - Wow. What? - (laughs) Okay. 513 00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:25,694 So you're really not gonna kiss me right now? 514 00:20:25,694 --> 00:20:29,802 Why-why would you think that? It's crazy of you. 515 00:20:29,802 --> 00:20:31,271 - (Grace mutters) - Campbell, would you come out here? 516 00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:33,676 Your friends are getting a little dicey. 517 00:20:33,676 --> 00:20:35,479 - Oh. - Need you back here. 518 00:20:35,479 --> 00:20:37,483 Fuck. She blew it. 519 00:20:37,483 --> 00:20:40,690 - What do you mean? - I mean, fucking passed out. 520 00:20:40,690 --> 00:20:42,795 - No, she's not. - CONNOR: Yeah. 521 00:20:46,401 --> 00:20:47,771 GRACE: (laughs) I'm drunk. 522 00:20:47,771 --> 00:20:50,510 - She's drunk. - MATTY: Guns up! 523 00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:54,484 - GRACE: Guns up! - MATTY: Guns up, motherfuckers! 524 00:20:54,484 --> 00:20:57,423 Aw, that sucks. Her mission was to fuck you tonight. 525 00:20:58,225 --> 00:21:00,564 Wait, what do you mean, you said it was her mission? 526 00:21:00,564 --> 00:21:03,469 - Like, going into the night? - Yeah. 527 00:21:03,469 --> 00:21:05,607 Then why did she tell me when I met her 528 00:21:05,607 --> 00:21:07,443 that she had never heard of Lil Dicky? 529 00:21:07,443 --> 00:21:09,615 - (laughing) - Oh, is that what she told you? 530 00:21:09,615 --> 00:21:10,984 She probably just said that 531 00:21:10,984 --> 00:21:12,788 'cause she's watched all your interviews. 532 00:21:12,788 --> 00:21:14,492 She knows that's what you want to hear. 533 00:21:14,492 --> 00:21:18,398 She's a die-hard. I mean, she knew what to tell you. 534 00:21:18,398 --> 00:21:21,404 Okay. I'm-I'm gonna leave. 535 00:21:21,404 --> 00:21:23,910 No, no, no, no, no. No, come on, man. No, no, no. 536 00:21:23,910 --> 00:21:25,412 - Yeah. - LD, no. There's a bunch of people still coming. 537 00:21:25,412 --> 00:21:27,518 This shit's just getting started. 538 00:21:27,518 --> 00:21:29,387 - Come on. - It's so late. We leave tomorrow. 539 00:21:29,387 --> 00:21:32,059 This is literally the best night of my entire life, man. 540 00:21:32,059 --> 00:21:35,299 That's... Really? 541 00:21:36,101 --> 00:21:37,571 Yes. 542 00:21:38,907 --> 00:21:41,478 Uh, I'm sorry. 543 00:21:41,478 --> 00:21:43,550 Or congrat... 544 00:21:43,550 --> 00:21:44,885 I don't know what to say to that. 545 00:21:44,885 --> 00:21:46,889 Tell us what it's like. 546 00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:49,360 Just tell us what it's really, really like. 547 00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:52,033 - It's not like anything, man. - MATTY: Yeah, man, 548 00:21:52,033 --> 00:21:54,939 do the girls just fap for you, nonstop? 549 00:21:54,939 --> 00:21:57,376 Fap? 550 00:21:59,949 --> 00:22:04,558 - All right, sit down. - (laughs) Okay. All right. 551 00:22:04,558 --> 00:22:05,927 - You guys want to know what it's like. - Oh, fuck, yeah. 552 00:22:05,927 --> 00:22:07,531 I'll tell you what it's really like. Yeah. 553 00:22:07,531 --> 00:22:09,668 Here's what it's like. I go around America 554 00:22:09,668 --> 00:22:11,906 and I meet people like you, and every single time, 555 00:22:11,906 --> 00:22:13,442 they look at me exactly the way 556 00:22:13,442 --> 00:22:14,945 you guys are staring at me right now. 557 00:22:14,945 --> 00:22:16,983 It's weird. And people have preconceived notions 558 00:22:16,983 --> 00:22:19,555 about the way that I behave, about the way that I fuck. 559 00:22:19,555 --> 00:22:21,559 (sputters) I feel that. 560 00:22:21,559 --> 00:22:23,596 Fucking ain't easy, broham. 561 00:22:23,596 --> 00:22:26,969 Not easy at all. I've had so many insane sexual encounters. 562 00:22:26,969 --> 00:22:29,875 And truthfully, the thing that I want the most 563 00:22:29,875 --> 00:22:33,750 is incredibly simple, but I could never really ask for it. 564 00:22:33,750 --> 00:22:35,820 What? 565 00:22:36,622 --> 00:22:40,429 So, my dick is shaped like a manatee. 566 00:22:40,429 --> 00:22:41,799 In the sense that, like, you know how, like, 567 00:22:41,799 --> 00:22:43,736 the manatee is... have, like, a bend 568 00:22:43,736 --> 00:22:46,107 and, like, a... So my dick is bent. 569 00:22:46,107 --> 00:22:48,680 The thing that satisfies me most in life 570 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:53,155 is when that bend simply gets straightened. 571 00:22:53,155 --> 00:22:55,627 There's no STD threat whatsoever. 572 00:22:55,627 --> 00:22:58,098 It's truly my heaven on Earth, but I could never ask for that 573 00:22:58,098 --> 00:22:59,702 because it's so weird, 574 00:22:59,702 --> 00:23:01,639 and the women would tell all their friends. 575 00:23:01,639 --> 00:23:04,511 But that wouldn't happen with my soulmate. 576 00:23:04,511 --> 00:23:06,114 I'm looking for love. 577 00:23:06,114 --> 00:23:08,151 I'm looking for my wife, okay? 578 00:23:08,151 --> 00:23:10,523 - Hey, let us see your dick. - (laughs) 579 00:23:10,523 --> 00:23:12,594 (scattered laughter) 580 00:23:12,594 --> 00:23:16,602 (chuckles) No. But you asked me what it's like. 581 00:23:16,602 --> 00:23:17,738 It's not even that interesting. 582 00:23:17,738 --> 00:23:18,706 - It's actually... - Come on, Dicky. 583 00:23:18,706 --> 00:23:20,042 (overlapping chatter) 584 00:23:20,042 --> 00:23:22,046 - Come on. - Uh... I love it. 585 00:23:22,046 --> 00:23:23,516 CONNOR: Hey, come on, Lil Dicky. 586 00:23:23,516 --> 00:23:24,585 MATTY: Come on, Lil Dicky, come on. 587 00:23:24,585 --> 00:23:25,654 CONNOR: Let me see it. 588 00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:26,622 You always talk all this shit 589 00:23:26,622 --> 00:23:27,891 about your dick, 590 00:23:27,891 --> 00:23:29,728 but you never show it to anybody. 591 00:23:29,728 --> 00:23:31,464 - Come on, Lil Dicky. - Come on! - (overlapping chatter) 592 00:23:31,464 --> 00:23:34,137 - Show us your fucking dick! - Come on! - Come on! 593 00:23:34,137 --> 00:23:36,007 - (Dave groans) - Show us your fucking dick! 594 00:23:36,007 --> 00:23:38,646 (grunts) 595 00:23:38,646 --> 00:23:40,784 What the fuck is that? 596 00:23:40,784 --> 00:23:43,188 (laughs) A diaper? 597 00:23:43,188 --> 00:23:45,994 No, uh... It's, uh, 598 00:23:45,994 --> 00:23:48,031 it's called the Scroguard. It's, uh... 599 00:23:48,031 --> 00:23:50,770 Look it up on YouTube. It's the funniest thing you'll ever see. 600 00:23:50,770 --> 00:23:53,543 It's, like, STD prevention, 601 00:23:53,543 --> 00:23:55,714 but, like, the comedy version. 602 00:23:58,085 --> 00:24:00,189 Show us your dick, Lil Dicky! (Dave whimpers) 603 00:24:00,189 --> 00:24:02,460 (laughing) 604 00:24:04,230 --> 00:24:06,636 ("So Damn Lucky" by Taylor McCall playing) 605 00:24:06,636 --> 00:24:08,740 (sighs) 606 00:24:10,744 --> 00:24:12,714 (truck doors close) 607 00:24:12,714 --> 00:24:15,553 (indistinct chatter) 608 00:24:15,553 --> 00:24:17,056 - (bottles rattle) - Oh... 609 00:24:17,056 --> 00:24:18,926 MAN: Connor? 610 00:24:19,928 --> 00:24:21,197 Who's that? 611 00:24:23,135 --> 00:24:25,874 Yo, they're all in there. They're still chillin'. 612 00:24:26,842 --> 00:24:29,047 - ♪ Sober up ♪ - Was that Lil Dicky? 613 00:24:29,047 --> 00:24:32,186 - Come back, Dicky! - ♪ Settle down ♪ 614 00:24:32,186 --> 00:24:34,190 ♪ You should be... ♪ 615 00:24:34,190 --> 00:24:35,727 MAN: Lil Dicky! 616 00:24:35,727 --> 00:24:38,933 ♪ Gone by now ♪ 617 00:24:38,933 --> 00:24:41,104 ♪ But you're not ♪ 618 00:24:41,104 --> 00:24:44,210 ♪ Don't know how I got ♪ 619 00:24:44,210 --> 00:24:46,649 ♪ So damn lucky. ♪ 620 00:24:54,631 --> 00:24:57,537 ♪ I'm drunk ♪ 621 00:24:57,537 --> 00:24:59,742 ♪ I'm really, really drunk... ♪ 622 00:24:59,742 --> 00:25:01,244 (man cackling) 623 00:25:01,244 --> 00:25:02,714 - ♪ I'm drunk ♪ - MAN: Hey, it's him! 624 00:25:02,714 --> 00:25:04,952 Turn around! 625 00:25:04,952 --> 00:25:06,655 - It's him, it's him! - MAN 2: It's him, it's him! 626 00:25:08,659 --> 00:25:10,697 (tires screech) 627 00:25:11,799 --> 00:25:13,536 (man cackling) 628 00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:26,829 Hey, motherfucker. What the fuck are you thinking, boy? 629 00:25:26,829 --> 00:25:29,735 Whoa! Hey! Stand your ground! Stand your ground! 630 00:25:29,735 --> 00:25:32,106 - What? - I'm standing my ground! 631 00:25:32,106 --> 00:25:35,714 You stand your ground, I'm standing mine, so no reason! 632 00:25:36,414 --> 00:25:38,786 - That ain't how it works. - Uh... 633 00:25:38,786 --> 00:25:40,122 Lil Dicky! I'm Lil Dicky! 634 00:25:40,122 --> 00:25:41,257 Please don't, please just... 635 00:25:41,257 --> 00:25:43,061 - Lil Dicky? - Yeah. 636 00:25:43,061 --> 00:25:44,765 - The rapper? - Yeah! Yes! 637 00:25:44,765 --> 00:25:48,004 The rapper. That's me. I'm, uh, I'm here. 638 00:25:48,004 --> 00:25:51,144 - So, I got to use your phone, it's... - No, you ain't. 639 00:25:51,144 --> 00:25:53,916 Yes, I am. What do you mean I'm not? Of co... Uh, uh... 640 00:25:53,916 --> 00:25:56,922 Obviously this is... Look at the situation, man. 641 00:25:56,922 --> 00:25:58,726 Can't you tell by my posture? 642 00:25:58,726 --> 00:26:00,864 Prove it. 643 00:26:00,864 --> 00:26:05,139 (exhales sharply) Prove it. Uh... 644 00:26:06,709 --> 00:26:07,944 What's that? 645 00:26:07,944 --> 00:26:09,882 Like... Or... 646 00:26:09,882 --> 00:26:13,355 It's... You-you know it's me. 647 00:26:13,355 --> 00:26:16,662 Please, I got to use your phone, man. 648 00:26:16,662 --> 00:26:18,966 Aren't you a "gayman?" 649 00:26:18,966 --> 00:26:20,904 You... 650 00:26:20,904 --> 00:26:22,641 I couldn't hear what you said. 651 00:26:22,641 --> 00:26:25,279 Aren't you a "gayman?" 652 00:26:27,116 --> 00:26:29,688 Like the dinosaur lizard? 653 00:26:29,688 --> 00:26:32,059 Nah, like aren't you a faggot? 654 00:26:32,059 --> 00:26:35,700 Oh. I don't know exactly how you're using that word, 655 00:26:35,700 --> 00:26:38,205 but I suspect that depending on how you define it, 656 00:26:38,205 --> 00:26:41,044 that, like... 657 00:26:41,044 --> 00:26:44,317 like, to an extent, yeah, yes. 658 00:26:44,317 --> 00:26:47,389 WOMAN: Tom, what's going on out there? 659 00:26:47,389 --> 00:26:49,928 I'll be there in a minute, Pat. 660 00:26:49,928 --> 00:26:51,331 (footsteps departing) 661 00:26:51,331 --> 00:26:52,934 Hey! 662 00:26:52,934 --> 00:26:55,038 ♪ ♪ 663 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,631 (line ringing) 664 00:27:10,102 --> 00:27:11,371 MIKE: (clears throat) Hello? 665 00:27:11,371 --> 00:27:13,876 Mike. Oh, thank God you picked up. 666 00:27:13,876 --> 00:27:15,680 I need you to come grab me right now. 667 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,216 - You're in room 207. - No, no. 668 00:27:17,216 --> 00:27:19,420 - I'm not at the hotel. Uh... - Where are you? 669 00:27:19,420 --> 00:27:21,090 (whispers): Thank you so much for everything. I appreciate it. 670 00:27:21,090 --> 00:27:22,426 Hello? (normal volume): I don't know 671 00:27:22,426 --> 00:27:23,830 how to explain it to you, but you just 672 00:27:23,830 --> 00:27:25,432 got to come get me right now, okay? 673 00:27:25,432 --> 00:27:27,136 Are you all right? Where are you, man? 674 00:27:27,136 --> 00:27:29,842 I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm at, uh, 675 00:27:29,842 --> 00:27:33,114 4218 Fannin Boulevard. Okay? 676 00:27:33,114 --> 00:27:35,018 - Yeah, no problem, man. I'll be there soon. - (scribbling) 677 00:27:35,018 --> 00:27:36,856 - Thank you, Mike. Thank you. - Just got to get up 678 00:27:36,856 --> 00:27:38,826 and get dressed. 679 00:27:38,826 --> 00:27:41,264 You know, I'm always losing one sock. 680 00:27:41,264 --> 00:27:43,235 - Wha... Mike? - Yeah? 681 00:27:45,773 --> 00:27:48,378 Uh, bring a couple hundred bucks. 682 00:27:48,378 --> 00:27:51,117 You'll see, like, when the dick's fully blooded, 683 00:27:51,117 --> 00:27:52,888 there's, like, a little bit of a bend. 684 00:27:52,888 --> 00:27:54,925 My ideal way for this to happen is if you take that bend 685 00:27:54,925 --> 00:27:56,261 and you just simply straighten it. 686 00:27:56,261 --> 00:27:59,066 (speaks Spanish) 687 00:27:59,066 --> 00:28:01,404 Uh, the bend, and if you just take the bend 688 00:28:01,404 --> 00:28:05,145 and you straighten and then just wait. 689 00:28:05,145 --> 00:28:06,314 (continues speaking Spanish) 690 00:28:06,314 --> 00:28:07,717 No, no, no, no mueva. 691 00:28:08,485 --> 00:28:12,026 Yeah, uh, do you know what a manatee is? Manatee. 692 00:28:12,026 --> 00:28:13,395 Manatee, the sea. Sea. 693 00:28:13,395 --> 00:28:14,463 (imitates manatee's bellow) 694 00:28:14,463 --> 00:28:16,702 Manatee? (speaks Spanish) 695 00:28:17,938 --> 00:28:20,342 I am an animal. I am. We're all a... 696 00:28:20,342 --> 00:28:22,146 I am an animal. You know what? 697 00:28:22,146 --> 00:28:23,481 - No... - We-we don't-we don't even have to... 698 00:28:23,481 --> 00:28:25,753 - We don't have to do it. - No. No, no, no, no, no. 699 00:28:25,753 --> 00:28:28,191 - (speaking Spanish) - I'm okay. Okay. 700 00:28:28,191 --> 00:28:29,193 It's totally cool. 701 00:28:29,193 --> 00:28:32,233 Oh, so... Oh. 702 00:28:32,233 --> 00:28:35,205 Yeah. Just s-still. 703 00:28:35,205 --> 00:28:37,443 Uh-huh. 704 00:28:37,443 --> 00:28:40,148 ♪ ♪ 705 00:29:44,176 --> 00:29:47,951 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org