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♪ My whole life I just
wanted to be a rapper ♪
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♪ Then I grew'd up and
the boy became a rapper ♪
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♪ And my older sister made
me wear the golden wrapper ♪
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♪ She said, "Watch
out, 'cause you know ♪
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♪ The hos will trap ya". ♪
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Hello there. I'm Dr. Mecklebaum.
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- I'm Dave Burd. How are you?
- Good. Good to see you.
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So, uh... what brings you in today?
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So, a few days ago I was shaving,
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and I noticed these red
bumps on my pubiscus,
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- and I just wanted...
- P-Pubiscus?
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That's probably not
the medical term for it.
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Uh, like, where your pubic hair would be
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if you didn't shave it all the way.
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- Oh. Oh, copy that. All right.
- Yeah. Yeah.
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So, well, let's take a look.
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Yes, and I know this is
gonna sound so absurd,
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but before I can just show you my penis,
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I do have to kind of explain
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- a few things about it to you.
- Okay.
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I just have, like, a very
bizarre situation down...
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okay, when I was born,
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I came out of the womb
with a tangled urethra,
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so immediately they had to go in
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- and do all types of surgery to it.
- Mm-hmm.
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As a result, there's so
much scarring down there.
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- Sure.
- And then, I mean,
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you know how the skin on your testicles
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is a different type of skin
than the skin on your penis?
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It's more... chicken-skinned or ribbed.
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Yeah?
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So my dick skin is actually made of
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that exact same style of ribbing.
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All the way up my shaft... ribs.
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So my theory is: when
they had to replace
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the hacked-off dick skin,
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they used my testicle
skin to replace it.
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Which would mean that my dick
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is made of balls.
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I couldn't be more precious
about this information.
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My own girlfriend doesn't
know anything about this
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because I'm so good at
controlling the lighting and...
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Well, if-if you're comfortable,
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I'm-I'm more than happy to take a look.
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I just had to explain all
that, 'cause I didn't want you
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to look at it and be like...
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- You know? Yeah.
- Yeah. Sure.
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- Okay.
- Okay.
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Okay.
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(QUIETLY): Yeah.
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Those look like razor bumps to me.
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Okay. I mean, but can't genital
herpes look like razor bumps?
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Who's to say that it's razor bumps?
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I'm to say. It's my job.
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Well, you should know
there's a very big disconnect
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between the online medical community
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and the brick-and-mortar establishments,
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- like...
- Brick-and-mortar? You mean... doctors.
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While I have you here, real quick,
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I know this is a totally
different field of medicine.
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I have all this acne on my
back that came out of nowhere...
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- Yeah, not me.
- Cystic.
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Yeah, not it. No, it's not me.
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I just figured you must know
more than, like, the common man.
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I could refer you to somebody.
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- Not my field.
- Thank you.
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- You're welcome, Dave.
- Hey, where do I pay?
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- ♪ Hi, I'm Dave ♪
- ♪ I'm Lil Dicky ♪
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- ♪ Hi, I'm Dave ♪
- ♪ Who's Dave? ♪
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♪ Hi, I'm Dave. ♪
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(HIP-HOP MUSIC PULSING INSIDE)
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Oh.
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♪♪
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Is this the right room?
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- (MUSIC STOPS)
- Uh, is this Studio A?
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The fuck is that smell, man?
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Oh, man, this dude always coming in here
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- with this tuna fish shit.
- Okay, are we leaving?
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I'm gonna be right back.
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Why the fuck would you just
walk into a session like that?
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You said "come anytime",
those were your words.
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Yeah, come by, kick it
in the lounge and, like,
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I don't know, meet people, talk
to people, make connections.
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Don't come into a fucking studio session
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with tuna fish. It smells crazy.
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Well, forgive me for not knowing
this incredibly specific rule.
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- That's...
- Is that YG? Oh, my God.
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They're... Yep, that's
YG. They're coming. Wow.
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YG: Whup their ass when you
see 'em, straight like that.
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- Yeah.
- What's up?
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Studio smell like tuna,
man. This shit stank.
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Fuck going on?
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(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
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That's a scary group of men.
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He had tattoos on the
creases of his neck.
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I'm so scared. I don't know
if I'm supposed to speak
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or not speak when I'm spoken to or...
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Doesn't sound like a very
collaborative setting to me.
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- Not at all.
- Is there any window for you
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to show them my video?
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No. These gang members
obviously do not like dick jokes.
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Know your audience, my dude.
I love you like a sister.
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I have to leave.
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- Text me.
- Nope.
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♪ My dick sucks, my dick sucks. ♪
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Hold up.
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Hold the fuck up.
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Ain't you the YouTube rapper
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with the small dick and all that?
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- I've seen that video.
- Did you like it?
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Yeah, that shit go hard.
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You have no idea how
happy this makes me.
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Like, I live my entire life
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trying to impress people
of your... pedigree.
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- I'm Dave.
- Ha, Dave, you a fool.
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I'm Gata, like alligator.
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I just rolled this chopstick.
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You trying to smoke some weed?
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Smoke weed? Uh, do I
want to smoke wee... ?
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I don't think... No, no, thank you.
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So you a rapper, and you don't blow bud?
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I didn't say that, I smoke.
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I treat it like a glass of
wine at the end of the day.
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If I smoked this early, I'd
feel like a total waste of life.
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But did you see that YG's here?
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Yeah, why you think I'm here?
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My nigga Bino sell
him tree all the time.
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How would I go about
getting a rapper like YG
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on one of my songs? Because I feel like,
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until I do that, no one's
gonna take me seriously.
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Everyone's just gonna
think I'm a YouTube rapper.
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Shit. It's all about the gander.
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The gander?
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The gander, nigga. You got to wiggle,
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set yourself up, make a play.
Right now you're in the studio,
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all these rappers in here popping,
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and you talking about,
"Hi, my name is Dave".
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Like, what the hell?
Like, you should be, like,
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"What's up? It's Lil Dicky".
Like, own that shit, bro.
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I do think it's gonna
be the biggest name
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in hip-hop, honestly. Lil Dicky.
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Ride your own dick, man.
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Can we get some food? YG hungry.
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Oh. I don't know why you're asking me.
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I don't work here.
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I, uh... I'm Lil Dicky.
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- Lil Dicky?
- Yes.
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Can we get some food? YG hungry.
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Okay. You know, I
respect you, I just think
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- you're going about it all kind of wrong.
- Hey-hey-hey, chill-chill-chill.
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Hey, bro, there's a store
right around the corner;
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we gonna bend the block real fast
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and get whatever you need. Come on, man.
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He look hot.
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I hope these are the right snacks, Gata.
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Man, if you don't stop tripping,
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I'm a real nigga. If I tell you
there's cheese on the moon,
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bring your crackers, man.
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You Gucci. You're gonna go
in there, show your face,
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apply the gander, wiggle up.
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How can this possibly get
me closer to a YG verse?
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Check this out. I used to
be in Miami all the time,
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- at the Hit Factory. It's a studio.
- Yeah?
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I'm in there with my boys.
We chilling with some dudes
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from New Orleans. You know
how they dress already, right?
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- No.
- Big T-shirts, baggy jeans.
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We're in they studio session
and Wayne walk in, bro.
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- I'm in there dripping.
- Lil Wayne?
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Weezy! What other Wayne you know?
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- Brady.
- I'm in there sauced down, though.
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- Gretzky.
- Skinny jeans, Cali swag, all that... lip ring.
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And they on my swag, bro.
Wayne like, "What you do?"
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And I end up getting three
songs off the drip alone.
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You have three songs with Lil Wayne?
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Yes, that's what I'm trying to tell you.
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They're on my laptop;
they ain't never came out,
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but you know how that go.
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This is very useful information.
If I would've known all this,
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I would've certainly
dressed differently today.
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The swag ain't on you, it's in you.
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Like, what is that, peach?
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They gonna fuck with
that, that's hard body.
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You got a lot of heart
for wearing that color.
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Well... great.
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Do I just knock or what?
What do you think?
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Yeah, just knock in on that shit, man.
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(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE)
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I feel like they're not ever gonna...
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Why are you wearing
your sunglasses inside?
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Bro, you know I got to drip, bro.
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- We're going to the studio right now.
- Should I just... ?
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YG, you're about to get a verse, okay?
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- Should I walk in?
- Man, go in there, man.
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Snack time. I...
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Okay.
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You're welcome.
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I feel like that did
nothing for my career.
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Bro, "snack time"?
Did you really just say
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that corny-ass shit, bro? What the fuck?
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Give me your phone, man.
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My phone? Why?
202
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:57,649
Listen, if you want to get
that verse from YG, bro,
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00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,651
you're gonna have to
holler at Nutti, man.
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- Who is Nutti?
- Nutti.
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00:07:01,211 --> 00:07:03,037
That's YG manager. I'm the plug, bro.
206
00:07:03,039 --> 00:07:04,398
I'm putting his number in your phone.
207
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This couldn't be more helpful.
208
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,825
So, what do I do? I text him
and say, "Hi, it's Lil Dicky..."
209
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:09,327
Yeah, he probably gonna
want some money or something
210
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:10,917
- for the verse.
- Money? Okay.
211
00:07:10,919 --> 00:07:13,065
- Well, I'll figure that out.
- You have to bring that bag.
212
00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:15,333
I just saved mine, too,
bro. We got to get up, man.
213
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:16,524
Huh.
214
00:07:16,526 --> 00:07:18,236
Let me get you on my Gram,
man. If you don't mind.
215
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,576
Yeah. Okay, hold on, let
me think for a second.
216
00:07:20,578 --> 00:07:21,793
You ready? Uh...
217
00:07:21,795 --> 00:07:23,442
Early morning studio,
LD reporting for...
218
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Nigga, this is just a picture, bro.
219
00:07:31,248 --> 00:07:33,271
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY)
220
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Ugh, there's so much lettuce on this.
221
00:07:36,866 --> 00:07:38,834
No, I told them no lettuce.
222
00:07:38,836 --> 00:07:41,609
Oh, he told me you made him
try a grape for the first time.
223
00:07:41,611 --> 00:07:43,772
I did. But he did not like it.
224
00:07:43,774 --> 00:07:45,775
He reported it was "too gushy".
225
00:07:45,777 --> 00:07:47,842
- Who eats those things?
- MIKE: Most people.
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00:07:47,844 --> 00:07:50,378
- Are you gonna grade papers right now?
- Yeah.
227
00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:52,882
I've told you how much this
fully turns me on, right?
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00:07:52,884 --> 00:07:54,583
- Yeah.
- I've expressed that?
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00:07:54,585 --> 00:07:56,297
- Wow.
- Yeah.
230
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You want me to teach you?
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00:07:57,890 --> 00:07:59,712
- Everything that you know.
- You want me to
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00:07:59,714 --> 00:08:01,914
tell you when to nap on your cot?
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00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:04,049
My dick wants to rip out of its skin
234
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,251
and run laps around the playground.
235
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:09,277
I don't know... where to go with that.
236
00:08:09,279 --> 00:08:10,542
You can go into Dave's room,
237
00:08:10,544 --> 00:08:12,457
- where this shit belongs.
- ALLY: I'm sorry.
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That's on me, coach.
239
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:15,792
It's-it's easy.
240
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Yeah. But every now and
then I just... I guess,
241
00:08:19,777 --> 00:08:22,219
- lose my grip on reality.
- Dave? Don't.
242
00:08:22,221 --> 00:08:24,170
Really can't even be tamed, stopped...
243
00:08:24,172 --> 00:08:27,138
Don't do it. Don't, I'm serious. Don't!
244
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,574
Okay. You sealed your fate.
245
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:30,609
I'm gonna finish Handmaid's
Tale without you.
246
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:31,976
- Stop.
- Yep, I will.
247
00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:33,812
Girlfriend, what? Get
away from me, freak.
248
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,114
- You gross me out.
- (CHUCKLES)
249
00:08:35,116 --> 00:08:37,070
- That's better.
- ALLY: The assignment
250
00:08:37,072 --> 00:08:39,596
is to draw what you want
to be when you grow up,
251
00:08:39,598 --> 00:08:42,054
and nobody drew a day trader.
252
00:08:42,056 --> 00:08:44,347
No? Did any of them draw
a kindergarten teacher?
253
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,690
- (CHUCKLES): No.
- No.
254
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:46,981
I bet a lot of them
said they wanted to be
255
00:08:46,983 --> 00:08:48,860
- a musical artist, right?
- A few.
256
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,028
I mean, that was always
257
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,530
- my dream growing up.
- I think you're right.
258
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:54,700
Some young, bright,
wet-behind-the-ears kid
259
00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,634
that's like, "I want
to be an unemployed Jew
260
00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:58,469
who pretends to be a rapper".
261
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,772
- (CHUCKLES)
- And then you're the inspiration.
262
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:01,996
Or...
263
00:09:01,998 --> 00:09:04,189
I'm a "once in a generation" artist...
264
00:09:04,191 --> 00:09:06,670
- Oh.
- ... who just got verified on Twitter
265
00:09:06,672 --> 00:09:08,479
about, what, nine days ago?
266
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:10,547
I'm glad you feel good that a
robot told you you're worth it.
267
00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:11,948
Actually, I'm gonna go
back there and just see
268
00:09:11,950 --> 00:09:13,642
what's going on... tap
in... because I feel like
269
00:09:13,644 --> 00:09:15,170
there's people all over
trying to get ahold of me,
270
00:09:15,172 --> 00:09:16,712
- ask me questions. You know.
- Mm-hmm.
271
00:09:16,714 --> 00:09:18,306
- Do you want a hit of this?
- No.
272
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,110
Last time I got stoned, I
talked to our neighbor Gary
273
00:09:20,112 --> 00:09:21,493
for an hour about cement.
274
00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:23,027
He calls it see-ment.
275
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:25,720
- I hate parent-teacher night.
- Mm.
276
00:09:25,722 --> 00:09:27,544
Like, Jordan Beyers's
parents are riding me
277
00:09:27,546 --> 00:09:30,817
about his reading comprehension,
but the kid literally eats sand.
278
00:09:30,819 --> 00:09:33,339
- (PHONE CHIMES)
- Fistfuls of sand.
279
00:09:33,341 --> 00:09:34,806
Every day of his life.
280
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,575
- Holy moly.
- _
281
00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:37,976
What?
282
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:40,179
(GRUNTING RHYTHMICALLY)
283
00:09:40,181 --> 00:09:41,614
(ALLY LAUGHS)
284
00:09:41,616 --> 00:09:44,423
Huge turning point moment
in my career just occurred.
285
00:09:44,425 --> 00:09:46,401
- What?
- I was in the studio
286
00:09:46,403 --> 00:09:47,559
with YG today.
287
00:09:47,561 --> 00:09:49,116
- YG?
- Yes.
288
00:09:49,118 --> 00:09:50,589
Yes, I've heard of them.
289
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:51,824
It's one guy, it's not a group.
290
00:09:51,826 --> 00:09:53,435
- Okay. Still cool.
- Yeah.
291
00:09:53,437 --> 00:09:55,060
What was he like? What did he say?
292
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:56,891
(STAMMERS) Well, we didn't really...
293
00:09:56,893 --> 00:09:58,062
I mean, when you're in the studio,
294
00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:59,831
you don't really talk that
much. You just, like, vibe
295
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,367
- and listen to music.
- Okay.
296
00:10:01,369 --> 00:10:04,570
But the really cool thing is,
his manager just texted me
297
00:10:04,572 --> 00:10:07,006
and said that YG will
get on one of my songs.
298
00:10:07,008 --> 00:10:08,907
- Dave.
- I kn... uh, yeah, I'm very excited.
299
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,576
That's so cool. Wait, what song?
300
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,012
- (LAUGHS): What... ?
- Uh, what song?
301
00:10:13,014 --> 00:10:14,113
Can I hear it?
302
00:10:14,115 --> 00:10:16,849
You can hear it when
it's done. It's not done.
303
00:10:16,851 --> 00:10:18,953
I know. I don't like having
too many cooks in the kitchen...
304
00:10:18,955 --> 00:10:21,499
- But I won't cook. I'm just excited.
- Bless your soul.
305
00:10:21,501 --> 00:10:23,734
No, though, 'cause I just,
you know... trust the process.
306
00:10:23,736 --> 00:10:25,126
- Dave.
- What?
307
00:10:25,128 --> 00:10:26,717
You always do this.
308
00:10:26,719 --> 00:10:28,726
Do you realize that I'm dating a rapper
309
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:30,863
who I've never heard rap out loud?
310
00:10:30,865 --> 00:10:32,464
Oh, my God, will you rap for me?
311
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:35,133
Will you rap for me right
now? Oh, my God, rap for me.
312
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,936
Rap for me. This is a
kindergarten beatbox.
313
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,406
Throw down.
314
00:10:40,408 --> 00:10:42,206
♪ Look... ♪
315
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:44,209
- I don't know.
- (LAUGHS): Please.
316
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,701
- Please.
- I don't know... I know, I'm sorry. I don't know.
317
00:10:45,703 --> 00:10:48,152
No, it's my job. I-I don't
ask you to come home
318
00:10:48,154 --> 00:10:49,381
and teach me things.
319
00:10:49,383 --> 00:10:52,417
Oh, you just asked me if pork was beef.
320
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:56,157
There are a lot of people that
don't know that distinction.
321
00:10:56,159 --> 00:10:59,425
Okay, can I at least know
the name of the song?
322
00:10:59,427 --> 00:11:02,261
"Girth".
323
00:11:02,263 --> 00:11:03,461
Hmm.
324
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:06,565
♪♪
325
00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:09,215
(LINE RINGING)
326
00:11:09,217 --> 00:11:10,802
CAROL: Hello, my sweetheart.
327
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,293
- Hi, Mama. How are you?
- I'm good.
328
00:11:12,295 --> 00:11:15,107
I texted Ally yesterday.
She hasn't texted me back.
329
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:17,109
- Hey, wait until we get into the car.
- I was just wondering...
330
00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:18,534
- Don, I'm talking.
- I-I know,
331
00:11:18,536 --> 00:11:20,030
- but it has to switch over.
- I was...
332
00:11:20,032 --> 00:11:21,787
- DON: Can you hear us?
- I can hear you.
333
00:11:21,789 --> 00:11:24,012
I think he can hear us
now. Can you hear us?
334
00:11:24,014 --> 00:11:25,651
I'm not gonna beat around the bush.
335
00:11:25,653 --> 00:11:27,652
I'm calling because I'm about
to access my bar mitzvah money
336
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:28,921
and I thought you should know.
337
00:11:28,923 --> 00:11:31,051
- What?
- Oh, my God. What's wrong?
338
00:11:31,053 --> 00:11:32,696
DAVE: Nothing's wrong.
Everything's great.
339
00:11:32,698 --> 00:11:34,457
I'm actually getting,
like, a very big rapper
340
00:11:34,459 --> 00:11:36,662
on one of my songs, but to do that,
341
00:11:36,664 --> 00:11:39,131
I have to pay him his fee,
which is $10,000 in this case.
342
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:40,401
$10,000?
343
00:11:40,403 --> 00:11:42,240
Are you crazy? What... David,
344
00:11:42,242 --> 00:11:44,869
you haven't made a single dollar
off of this and now you want...
345
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,537
How come we never talk
about the 15 million views
346
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,763
that I've gotten in three months, Mom?
347
00:11:47,765 --> 00:11:49,720
It's a huge accomplishment.
We never talk about that.
348
00:11:49,722 --> 00:11:52,303
But why can't you
profit off those views?
349
00:11:52,305 --> 00:11:54,513
Isn't there money in
the stream these days?
350
00:11:54,515 --> 00:11:55,881
It's called the cloud, Don.
351
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:57,965
I can't profit off of it
because it's not my beat.
352
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,357
It's just a beat I stole online.
353
00:11:59,359 --> 00:12:00,848
- So I can't even...
- You stole it?
354
00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:02,904
Wait a minute, what? Did you steal it?
355
00:12:02,906 --> 00:12:04,156
DON: What did he steal?
356
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:06,557
- He stole his... his beat was stolen.
- He stole something?
357
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:07,715
Oh. Oh, my God.
358
00:12:07,717 --> 00:12:09,728
Guys, it's not at all how it sounds.
359
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:12,130
It couldn't be more commonplace
in rap music for people
360
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,665
to jump on other people's beats.
361
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:14,900
DON: You know, David,
362
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:18,871
who is this rapper that
you are paying $10,000 to?
363
00:12:18,873 --> 00:12:20,221
YG.
364
00:12:20,223 --> 00:12:21,975
YG? I'm gonna look this up.
365
00:12:21,977 --> 00:12:23,709
- Do you... do you have a pen?
- Is it... is it
366
00:12:23,711 --> 00:12:26,412
"Why, G?" with a question mark?
367
00:12:26,414 --> 00:12:28,415
Or the-the letters "Y-G"?
368
00:12:28,417 --> 00:12:30,136
Google will answer
any question you have.
369
00:12:30,138 --> 00:12:31,519
I have to go. I love you both.
370
00:12:31,521 --> 00:12:32,911
- Is it Korean?
- I mean...
371
00:12:32,913 --> 00:12:34,277
- It... you know, it sounds...
- Like Wai Chi?
372
00:12:34,279 --> 00:12:35,755
Guys, I'm leaving right
now. I'm hanging up.
373
00:12:35,757 --> 00:12:36,856
- Is he... ?
- Okay, but is it Korean?
374
00:12:36,858 --> 00:12:38,424
Is he a Korean rapper?
375
00:12:38,426 --> 00:12:41,361
Hello. Um, so I have to wire $10,000
376
00:12:41,363 --> 00:12:44,898
to a company called Blood
Gang Entertainment LLC.
377
00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:49,001
Attention or whatever: Nutti.
378
00:12:49,003 --> 00:12:52,430
♪♪
379
00:12:52,432 --> 00:12:54,656
Hold on, wait a minute. Slow down.
380
00:12:54,658 --> 00:12:56,813
So YG is getting on "Girth"?
381
00:12:56,815 --> 00:12:58,443
Yeah.
382
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,112
Just sent him all the money.
383
00:13:00,114 --> 00:13:01,546
- Is that your "Girth" dance?
- Totally official.
384
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:05,018
Yeah, it's my "Girth" dance.
We did it. We've done it.
385
00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:06,519
You think that's a good idea?
386
00:13:06,521 --> 00:13:07,754
It's probably the best
idea I've ever had.
387
00:13:07,756 --> 00:13:08,954
It's a complete no-brainer.
388
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:12,292
- (RINGTONE PLAYING)
- Oh, my...
389
00:13:12,294 --> 00:13:14,526
It's my boss. Dude,
390
00:13:14,528 --> 00:13:16,862
the market's been
closed for an hour now.
391
00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:18,438
I don't get any time off.
392
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:19,966
Bring him everywhere, please.
393
00:13:19,968 --> 00:13:21,733
Like, he's a delight to have around.
394
00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:24,037
Honestly, you will like him,
he's just high-strung right now
395
00:13:24,039 --> 00:13:25,904
'cause of his work. He's
a really good person.
396
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,941
- (BALL DROPS IN CUP)
- So you think YG,
397
00:13:27,943 --> 00:13:29,375
which stands for "Young Gangster",
398
00:13:29,377 --> 00:13:30,809
is going to get on a song
399
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:32,477
rapping about the girth of his dick?
400
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,813
I got a seven, dude. (SCOFFS)
401
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:37,417
"Girth" has so many
applications. What do you mean?
402
00:13:37,419 --> 00:13:40,119
The girth of his girlfriend's breasts.
403
00:13:40,121 --> 00:13:42,388
The girth of his home...
I bet it's a huge home.
404
00:13:42,390 --> 00:13:44,991
No. Well, why can't you just
rap about normal things, like,
405
00:13:44,993 --> 00:13:46,391
I don't know, getting head in the club
406
00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,350
and, like, having
orgies with your friends.
407
00:13:48,352 --> 00:13:49,674
Oh, yeah, I'll rap about having orgies.
408
00:13:49,676 --> 00:13:51,496
I'll sound like the biggest
loser on planet Earth.
409
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,232
You could always rap
about, like, the struggles
410
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:56,696
of a young Jewish man. (CHUCKLES)
411
00:13:56,698 --> 00:13:59,138
You're gonna make fun of me
'cause I have no struggles?
412
00:13:59,140 --> 00:14:00,640
I literally met you at overnight camp;
413
00:14:00,642 --> 00:14:01,941
your father is a dentist.
414
00:14:01,943 --> 00:14:03,976
And I'm not a rapper.
I'm a sound engineer.
415
00:14:03,978 --> 00:14:05,077
You're not gonna trick YG
416
00:14:05,079 --> 00:14:07,079
into rapping about the
girthness of his dick.
417
00:14:07,081 --> 00:14:08,280
There's no trick here.
418
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:09,505
He's a businessman, bro.
419
00:14:09,507 --> 00:14:11,340
He sells shit at Barneys.
He's not an idiot.
420
00:14:11,342 --> 00:14:13,819
You know, I read the other
day that YG is actually vegan.
421
00:14:13,821 --> 00:14:15,288
Which shocked me.
422
00:14:15,290 --> 00:14:16,823
I would have expected that guy to be
423
00:14:16,825 --> 00:14:18,757
fully carnivorous.
424
00:14:18,759 --> 00:14:20,961
- (BALL CLANGS)
- (LAUGHTER)
425
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:31,981
_
426
00:14:41,955 --> 00:14:43,420
Hey.
427
00:14:43,422 --> 00:14:45,353
Can you please knock
when you walk in here?
428
00:14:45,355 --> 00:14:46,423
Did you tweet this?
429
00:14:47,466 --> 00:14:50,658
"Just got head". Yeah.
430
00:14:50,660 --> 00:14:52,149
Are you fucking kidding me?
431
00:14:52,151 --> 00:14:54,226
- What?
- Dave, my mom just called
432
00:14:54,228 --> 00:14:56,328
and asked why you're
telling everyone on Twitter
433
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:58,128
that I gave you head.
434
00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:01,399
Well, I didn't say that
Ally Wernick gave me head.
435
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,601
I was very nonspecific. It
just said, "Just got head".
436
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:07,771
Oh, cool. Um, so who's
giving you head, then?
437
00:15:07,773 --> 00:15:10,976
Nobody, Al. It's fictitious
head. It's a joke.
438
00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:12,843
I'm happy to jump on
the phone with your mom
439
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,435
and explain how Twitter works and how
440
00:15:14,437 --> 00:15:16,247
everything that's tweeted
isn't a real thing necessarily.
441
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,482
Oh, it's a very real thing
442
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:21,252
that my very real principal
at my real job can read.
443
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,088
You guys need to stop
thinking about this
444
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:25,156
like it's Dave Burd's Twitter.
This is Lil Dicky tweeting.
445
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,858
They are totally different things.
446
00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:28,292
Okay, then explain to me the difference,
447
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:29,761
just so we're clear.
448
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,295
Dave Burd takes your
feelings into account
449
00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:32,863
at every waking moment.
450
00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:35,467
Lil Dicky, on the other
hand, can never do that.
451
00:15:35,469 --> 00:15:38,203
I'm sorry. I can't worry
about what my girlfriend
452
00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:40,037
and her kindergarten
class are gonna think
453
00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:42,040
as I rap lyrics about, like,
454
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:44,976
69-ing a girl on her period.
455
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:47,444
I mean, that's a terrible example.
456
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:50,048
But think of me as, like, a corporation.
457
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,784
Like, when Wendy's tweets, for example,
458
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:55,487
I don't think anybody thinks
that it's actually Wendy.
459
00:15:55,489 --> 00:15:58,142
No! Because Wendy is not a real person.
460
00:15:58,144 --> 00:16:00,401
Okay? And-and Wendy's isn't tweeting
461
00:16:00,403 --> 00:16:03,072
that Wendy sucked Dave Thomas's dick.
462
00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:07,332
Wendy is a real person,
it's Dave Thomas's daughter.
463
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:08,900
- You're not gonna want to hear that, but...
- Oh, my God.
464
00:16:08,902 --> 00:16:12,804
Okay. I-I don't want my mom
knowing that I give you head.
465
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:14,305
You can wrap your brain around that.
466
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,839
Your mom knows you
give me head. My mom...
467
00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:17,574
everybody's giving
everybody head at our age.
468
00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:19,652
- I didn't give you head!
- I know, Al!
469
00:16:19,654 --> 00:16:21,500
That's my... you're
making my point for me.
470
00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:23,213
I don't even know what
we're talking about here!
471
00:16:23,215 --> 00:16:26,220
♪♪
472
00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:31,225
(DOOR CLOSES)
473
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:45,005
I wired YG's manager $10,000 today.
474
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,107
I didn't tell you that yet.
475
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:52,342
And as soon as I did that,
476
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:55,413
he stopped responding to all
of my text messages, so...
477
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,450
- $10,000?
- Yep.
478
00:16:58,452 --> 00:16:59,776
I have no idea where the money is.
479
00:16:59,778 --> 00:17:01,101
I don't even know who this guy is
480
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:03,021
or even if he's a real
person. I've never met him.
481
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,123
You've never met him?
482
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,858
No.
483
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,194
All I know about him is
that his name is Nutti.
484
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,895
Oh, Dave.
485
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:13,298
Al, I'm sorry for being an asshole.
486
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,732
I should never have said that.
487
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:17,101
But I love you so much.
You're my moon, you're my rock,
488
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:18,735
you're my favorite person in the world.
489
00:17:18,737 --> 00:17:20,304
Tied with my parents.
490
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:22,740
But I'm a wreck right now.
491
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,442
I've never been more
stressed in my life.
492
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,531
Before you came, I was actually crying.
493
00:17:26,533 --> 00:17:28,502
- You were crying?
- Yes.
494
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:34,085
Do you want a belly rub?
495
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:36,253
Really? Yes.
496
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:38,124
Oh, my God.
497
00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:42,429
(SIGHS)
498
00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,130
I'm putting the weight
of the world on you.
499
00:17:46,132 --> 00:17:48,765
- It's on me; I need to get it off me.
- (LAUGHING)
500
00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:50,236
♪♪
501
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,606
MIKE: So let me get this straight.
502
00:17:54,608 --> 00:17:57,075
There were absolutely
no contracts at all?
503
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,400
(SCOFFS) No, there's no contracts
504
00:17:59,402 --> 00:18:01,913
at this phase... it's laughable
you'd even suggest such a thing.
505
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,815
Stupid guy over here.
I just work with people
506
00:18:03,817 --> 00:18:05,450
on Wall Street all the time.
I don't know about money
507
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:06,774
or business or any
of that kind of stuff.
508
00:18:06,776 --> 00:18:08,619
It's a totally different world.
What are you talking about?
509
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:10,954
Did you ever think for a
second that perhaps this guy
510
00:18:10,956 --> 00:18:13,290
who introduced you to
Nutsi maybe set you up
511
00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:14,658
just to take your money?
512
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,761
Gata?
513
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,097
Gata? That's a man's name?
514
00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:21,299
I didn't even think about
that as a possibility.
515
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,334
Of course you didn't. Your
brain is basically pulled pork.
516
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,036
Come on, dude, you got scammed.
517
00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:26,204
If I go and talk to this guy Gata,
518
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,304
- will you come with me?
- (SCOFFS)
519
00:18:27,306 --> 00:18:29,206
No. Why me?
520
00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:31,876
You were just lecturing him
about business and money.
521
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:33,640
DAVE: Mike, you're my best friend.
522
00:18:33,642 --> 00:18:35,213
I'm asking you to come, please.
523
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,446
MIKE: I love you.
524
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:37,615
Take Ally.
525
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:38,683
- Weekends are for me.
- No.
526
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:39,976
You're a pussy. I'll go.
527
00:18:39,978 --> 00:18:41,680
Call a Lyft. I don't give a fuck.
528
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:43,954
DAVE: I'm not gonna bring my girlfriend
529
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,522
with me to get the
m... it just feels like
530
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:46,991
such a weird thing to do.
531
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,559
I know that's sexist, probably, but...
532
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,127
- It is.
- It's even weirder
533
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,529
to take me, 'cause then
it looks like you went
534
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,565
and got your muscle, and
they're just gonna be like...
535
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:54,799
You're the muscle?
536
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,400
You're laughing at me?
537
00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:58,415
You have sex with a man
with no muscle on his body.
538
00:18:58,417 --> 00:18:59,440
That's bone and tendon.
539
00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:00,631
You're a marionette. You know that.
540
00:19:00,633 --> 00:19:02,717
Okay, why do we need to go? You just go.
541
00:19:02,719 --> 00:19:06,743
- Yeah.
- Y... you guys haven't met this guy.
542
00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:08,936
You have no context. Never
mind, I'll figure something out.
543
00:19:08,938 --> 00:19:10,080
Dicky.
544
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:12,341
Lil Dicky. Holy shit, man.
545
00:19:12,343 --> 00:19:14,752
- Hi.
- Hey. Gosh, can I get a pic?
546
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,320
- Yeah, of course.
- MIKE: Definitely.
547
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:19,523
Sweet. Um, you know,
uh, I'm a rapper, too.
548
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:21,725
Um, I go by Nuance.
549
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:22,760
Cool.
550
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:23,781
- Nuance?
- Yeah.
551
00:19:23,783 --> 00:19:25,920
Send him all your stuff. You
guys could collab or something.
552
00:19:25,922 --> 00:19:27,331
- Three, two...
- (CAMERA CLICKS)
553
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:28,700
G-Get a few, just in case.
554
00:19:28,702 --> 00:19:29,834
- I got it.
- Very tight.
555
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,536
Um, so, is this your girl?
556
00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:33,528
- (QUIETLY): Still here.
- Yeah.
557
00:19:33,530 --> 00:19:35,673
I just think it's so sick
how you tweet after you, like,
558
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:36,707
get head and shit.
559
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:39,400
(MIKE CHUCKLING)
560
00:19:39,402 --> 00:19:40,778
You're my hero, man.
561
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,914
(CHUCKLING CONTINUES)
562
00:19:42,916 --> 00:19:45,026
I think that happens to most couples.
563
00:19:45,028 --> 00:19:46,985
♪ Shots at your kickback ♪
564
00:19:46,987 --> 00:19:48,714
♪ Bitch, get back ♪
565
00:19:48,716 --> 00:19:51,039
♪ I said, bro, get back... ♪
566
00:19:51,041 --> 00:19:53,565
Thank you for coming
with me. I appreciate it.
567
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,122
Yeah, of course. Obviously, you know,
568
00:19:55,124 --> 00:19:58,629
you got to have me around sometimes.
569
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,130
What does that mean?
570
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:03,067
It-it means that we're in the hood
571
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:04,769
and you had no other friends to bring...
572
00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:06,304
Wait, this is the hood right now?
573
00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:08,438
There's no line that defines,
like, "We're in the hood",
574
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,047
or a sign that says,
"Welcome to the hood".
575
00:20:10,049 --> 00:20:12,777
- But, like, we are in the janky.
- Right.
576
00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:15,812
Song with YG worked out, right?
577
00:20:15,814 --> 00:20:17,270
- (CHUCKLES)
- Please stop.
578
00:20:17,272 --> 00:20:19,795
- Mr. Nuts took everything from you.
- I need... I need you... I...
579
00:20:19,797 --> 00:20:22,319
- His name is Nutti.
- (LAUGHS): Oh...
580
00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:24,289
- "His name is Nutti".
- And we're not even going
581
00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:25,723
to Nutti's house, we're
going to Gata's house.
582
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,224
Oh! Gata!
583
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:30,662
ELZ: "Yeah, Mr. Gator, Mr.
Nuts, your 10:00 is here".
584
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:32,266
- DAVE: Shut the fuck up.
- (LAUGHING)
585
00:20:34,409 --> 00:20:37,432
Lil Dicky poppin' out in South Central?
586
00:20:37,434 --> 00:20:39,446
- I can't believe this.
- Oh, is this South Central?
587
00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:40,637
Like Don't Be a Menace?
588
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:42,272
Hey, you the engineer that
be at the studio, right, bro?
589
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:43,907
- Yeah, papi, Elz.
- Papi?
590
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,576
Man, save that gay
shit for New York, bro.
591
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,645
- We on the west right now, cuh.
- Oh.
592
00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:49,313
I'm messing with you, man. My uncle gay.
593
00:20:49,315 --> 00:20:51,316
And he a cold-ass
nigga. Come on in, y'all.
594
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:52,864
Okay.
595
00:20:52,866 --> 00:20:55,257
- Hey, we got company.
- Hi. Catherine.
596
00:20:55,259 --> 00:20:57,187
Moms, we don't just got
anybody in the spot right now.
597
00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:58,434
We got Lil Dicky in here.
598
00:20:58,436 --> 00:21:00,358
He one of the best new
rappers in the game.
599
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,659
Oh, what's up, Lil Dicky?
600
00:21:02,661 --> 00:21:03,961
Oh, no, I'm a normal person.
601
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:06,668
That thing right there is Lil Dicky.
602
00:21:06,670 --> 00:21:08,194
DAVE: I'm the rapper, isn't that funny?
603
00:21:08,196 --> 00:21:10,934
I'm Lil Dicky. But call
me Dave. I prefer that.
604
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,037
Oh. Well, why you call
yourself Lil Dicky?
605
00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:14,472
You got a Lil Dicky?
606
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:16,539
Soft, it's never even grown at all,
607
00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:17,933
- since I was a child, but...
- Uh, mm-mm.
608
00:21:17,935 --> 00:21:20,750
No, it's just kind of like
a... play on a rap name.
609
00:21:20,752 --> 00:21:22,679
The opposite of what you'd expect.
610
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:24,482
So, you're a satirical rapper.
611
00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:27,321
Jackpot. See? I told you people
understand what I'm doing.
612
00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:33,032
Um... So, Gata, I have
something relatively serious
613
00:21:33,034 --> 00:21:35,225
I need to talk with you about.
Remember that guy Nutti
614
00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:37,294
- that you set me up with for the YG verse?
- Mm-hmm.
615
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,364
So, they said "yes" to doing a song.
616
00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:41,299
I sent him $10,000.
617
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,166
As soon as the money went through,
618
00:21:43,168 --> 00:21:45,960
he completely stopped responding
to all my text messages.
619
00:21:45,962 --> 00:21:49,040
And the whole thing feels very...
620
00:21:49,042 --> 00:21:51,075
- coincidental and...
- Wait, wait, wait.
621
00:21:51,077 --> 00:21:53,080
Coincidental how?
622
00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:57,915
You know, I have to assume
that my money's gone,
623
00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:00,851
and Gata set the whole
thing up, so I don't mean
624
00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:01,886
- to be accusing...
- Hold up, bro.
625
00:22:01,888 --> 00:22:03,588
Ain't nobody run off with nothing, man.
626
00:22:03,590 --> 00:22:05,511
Nutti changed his number.
You got to kill that energy
627
00:22:05,513 --> 00:22:06,746
in my house, though. For real.
628
00:22:06,748 --> 00:22:09,750
- Nutti changed his cell phone number?
- That's what I just said.
629
00:22:09,752 --> 00:22:11,899
Who would change their number in the
middle of a $10,000 wire exchange?
630
00:22:11,901 --> 00:22:13,865
I'm sending you his new
line right now. Relax.
631
00:22:13,867 --> 00:22:16,067
Okay, I'm gonna text him right now.
632
00:22:16,069 --> 00:22:17,812
GATA: Come on, bro, you
got me looking crazy.
633
00:22:17,814 --> 00:22:20,104
No, I wasn't saying that I was
certain it was you, by the way.
634
00:22:20,106 --> 00:22:22,373
I was just trying to
think about what happened
635
00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:25,342
and replaying everything and
thinking about who the suspects
636
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:28,079
- could even be and...
- Oh, and you thought of my son.
637
00:22:28,081 --> 00:22:30,080
Gee, I wonder why that is.
638
00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:31,642
GATA: Small things to a giant.
639
00:22:31,644 --> 00:22:33,084
I ain't even tripping,
this shit regular.
640
00:22:33,086 --> 00:22:35,564
People size me up all the
time and stereotype me.
641
00:22:35,566 --> 00:22:38,522
Putting me in a box like
I'm some thug. Just like you.
642
00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:40,945
You look like a nerd, all corny.
But you rap hard, though.
643
00:22:40,947 --> 00:22:43,056
Like, people play they self
when they do that shit, man.
644
00:22:43,058 --> 00:22:44,727
How you gonna do me like that?
645
00:22:47,266 --> 00:22:49,099
I hear you.
646
00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:52,770
And... it seems I have
made a fool of myself
647
00:22:52,772 --> 00:22:54,438
and I'm very sorry.
648
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,407
- You should be.
- I know. And I'm...
649
00:22:57,409 --> 00:22:59,242
- (PHONE CHIMES)
- ... embarrassed.
650
00:22:59,244 --> 00:23:01,654
I'm sorry. Oh, my God.
Nutti just responded.
651
00:23:01,656 --> 00:23:03,331
Uh, he says if we go right
now, we can do the verse.
652
00:23:03,333 --> 00:23:04,482
YG in the studio right now?
653
00:23:04,484 --> 00:23:05,881
- Yeah.
- Oh, I got to go with you, bro.
654
00:23:05,883 --> 00:23:06,650
We got to get this sorted out.
655
00:23:06,652 --> 00:23:08,452
- Please come. You'll come?
- Yeah, I'm going.
656
00:23:15,755 --> 00:23:18,256
- (HIP-HOP BEAT PLAYING)
- What's up?
657
00:23:18,258 --> 00:23:19,958
(QUIET CHATTER)
658
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,225
Hi.
659
00:23:22,023 --> 00:23:23,146
Lil Dicky, remember?
660
00:23:23,148 --> 00:23:25,497
- Lil Dicky. What up, bro?
- (DOG GROWLING)
661
00:23:25,499 --> 00:23:28,478
- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Balmain, down.
662
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,490
- DAVE: Aah!
- Try to control your fear. He can smell fear.
663
00:23:30,492 --> 00:23:31,850
- (GROWLING)
- Control my fear? How do I do that?
664
00:23:31,852 --> 00:23:33,141
- I reek of fear.
- (BARKING)
665
00:23:33,143 --> 00:23:34,600
- Just chill, man. Relax.
- (SHOUTING)
666
00:23:34,602 --> 00:23:35,603
- Balmain.
- Ah!
667
00:23:38,103 --> 00:23:40,532
Damn, even the dog Balmain? That's hard.
668
00:23:40,534 --> 00:23:41,719
Yo, what you doing here, bro?
669
00:23:41,721 --> 00:23:43,771
Oh, man, you know me.
I'm just in here, chilling.
670
00:23:43,773 --> 00:23:45,576
You know what I'm saying, seeing
what's good. What's good, Nutti?
671
00:23:45,578 --> 00:23:48,162
- Nah, nah, you got to skate, man.
- Bro, I'm the one that set this
672
00:23:48,164 --> 00:23:50,089
- whole little verse thing...
- Yeah, I don't give a fuck, bruh.
673
00:23:50,091 --> 00:23:52,897
Hey, man, it's like... Man,
you being extra, too, man.
674
00:23:52,899 --> 00:23:54,249
- You burnt out, bro.
- (SCOFFS)
675
00:23:54,251 --> 00:23:56,361
Come on, man.
676
00:23:56,363 --> 00:23:57,666
Hate broke niggas.
677
00:23:57,668 --> 00:23:59,953
Shit make me nervous. (SIPS DRINK)
678
00:23:59,955 --> 00:24:01,177
For sure.
679
00:24:01,179 --> 00:24:02,870
YG, Lil Dicky.
680
00:24:02,872 --> 00:24:04,604
What up, man?
681
00:24:04,606 --> 00:24:06,239
Good to meet you.
682
00:24:06,241 --> 00:24:07,673
So...
683
00:24:07,675 --> 00:24:10,043
I don't know what Nutti has told you,
684
00:24:10,045 --> 00:24:12,345
but I've got this one song
called "Girth" that I really
685
00:24:12,347 --> 00:24:14,448
- think would be a huge...
- Hey, D, hey, hey.
686
00:24:14,450 --> 00:24:16,617
Turn the bass up, bro.
687
00:24:16,619 --> 00:24:19,276
♪ Beggars with dough, she fuck
it up, she know I got knots ♪
688
00:24:19,278 --> 00:24:21,635
♪ The money come, the money
go, man, this shit don't stop ♪
689
00:24:21,637 --> 00:24:24,226
♪ White Ferrecci 'cause she
with it, she a top-notch broad ♪
690
00:24:24,228 --> 00:24:25,793
♪ Steady lookin' over my shoulder ♪
691
00:24:25,795 --> 00:24:27,460
♪ Man, this shit don't stop ♪
692
00:24:27,462 --> 00:24:29,463
♪ Tryin' to get that money
till this shit don't stop ♪
693
00:24:29,465 --> 00:24:32,533
♪ I'm tryin' to pull up foreign,
tryin' to pull up drop ♪
694
00:24:32,535 --> 00:24:34,567
♪ I'm buyin' all designer,
tryin' to hit your thot ♪
695
00:24:34,569 --> 00:24:37,304
♪ Ghetto YG, these Glocks,
tell 'em hit your block ♪
696
00:24:37,306 --> 00:24:39,907
♪ You see this old watch,
you see the diamond clock ♪
697
00:24:39,909 --> 00:24:42,476
♪ You see this a drop,
you know it cost a lot ♪
698
00:24:42,478 --> 00:24:45,077
♪ She see me, she gonna thot,
I see you, we gonna box ♪
699
00:24:45,079 --> 00:24:47,547
♪ Need to let my Eagle drop,
need to let my Eagle drop ♪
700
00:24:47,549 --> 00:24:50,082
♪ Yeah, yeah, I don't care,
war gear, I declare... ♪
701
00:24:50,084 --> 00:24:51,418
Guns! Wow.
702
00:24:51,420 --> 00:24:53,320
Could've used a heads-up about that.
703
00:24:53,322 --> 00:24:55,322
- Lot of guns over here.
- (MUSIC STOPS)
704
00:24:55,324 --> 00:24:56,756
Oh.
705
00:24:56,758 --> 00:24:58,792
Sorry, I just noticed all the weaponry.
706
00:24:58,794 --> 00:25:01,685
I didn't know if something was afoot,
707
00:25:01,687 --> 00:25:03,464
or if the safeties were on, or what.
708
00:25:03,466 --> 00:25:05,466
(SNICKERING)
709
00:25:05,468 --> 00:25:06,934
Hey, 'Rell, you know he a rapper?
710
00:25:06,936 --> 00:25:08,502
Thought he was a new intern.
711
00:25:08,504 --> 00:25:11,004
No, 'Rell. You've got me all wrong.
712
00:25:11,006 --> 00:25:13,506
I'm actually one of
the best rappers alive.
713
00:25:13,508 --> 00:25:15,664
- (ALL SCOFFING)
- Yeah. And in five years,
714
00:25:15,666 --> 00:25:17,036
you're gonna replay this entire moment
715
00:25:17,038 --> 00:25:18,978
and be like, "Wow,
not only was he right,
716
00:25:18,980 --> 00:25:21,582
but I was so lucky to spend
that quality time with him
717
00:25:21,584 --> 00:25:23,119
before he really took off".
718
00:25:23,121 --> 00:25:26,412
That's what every rapper
say. The same shit.
719
00:25:26,414 --> 00:25:28,503
Well, every good rapper
has to feel that way.
720
00:25:28,505 --> 00:25:30,562
Do you want to pull up the
session that I want to work on
721
00:25:30,564 --> 00:25:31,969
with you and see if I'm
just like every other...
722
00:25:31,971 --> 00:25:34,026
- You be fucking black bitches, Lil Dicky?
- (CHUCKLES)
723
00:25:34,028 --> 00:25:35,719
You said, "Do I fuck black bitches?"
724
00:25:35,721 --> 00:25:37,257
Do you fuck black bitches, Lil Dicky?
725
00:25:38,667 --> 00:25:41,000
Well, statistically,
I certainly skew white.
726
00:25:41,002 --> 00:25:42,946
- (LAUGHTER)
- So, what kind of hos you fuck with,
727
00:25:42,948 --> 00:25:44,137
then, Lil Dicky?
728
00:25:44,139 --> 00:25:46,206
What type of hos? Well, you
know, I've got a girlfriend.
729
00:25:46,208 --> 00:25:49,176
So, I typically fuck with
her. Fuck on her. All that.
730
00:25:49,178 --> 00:25:50,710
- (CHUCKLING)
- Real cute girl.
731
00:25:50,712 --> 00:25:53,647
- Honestly, the sex is very solid.
- (LAUGHTER)
732
00:25:53,649 --> 00:25:56,240
Uh, she has recently just
switched birth controls, though,
733
00:25:56,242 --> 00:25:59,465
- which... her vagina gets dryer faster, which...
- Damn.
734
00:25:59,467 --> 00:26:01,690
- I'm giving way too much information.
- Bruh.
735
00:26:01,692 --> 00:26:03,957
- Her pussy really dry?
- (OTHERS GROAN)
736
00:26:03,959 --> 00:26:06,125
- Sometimes.
- Oh, yo.
737
00:26:06,127 --> 00:26:09,795
I will keep my ear to the pussy
the next time I'm in that ass,
738
00:26:09,797 --> 00:26:13,699
or... pussy, I guess,
'cause I've never done anal.
739
00:26:13,701 --> 00:26:15,535
- Don't think I'd like it very much.
- (CHUCKLES)
740
00:26:15,537 --> 00:26:17,371
Are you guys going to
Coachella this year or what?
741
00:26:17,373 --> 00:26:19,573
- (LAUGHTER)
- Hey, man. Hold up, man.
742
00:26:19,575 --> 00:26:21,542
I got to get you on my Instagram, bruh.
743
00:26:21,544 --> 00:26:23,087
Oh, is it a video or a picture?
744
00:26:23,089 --> 00:26:24,644
It's a video, bruh. Spit some shit.
745
00:26:24,646 --> 00:26:26,735
You funny as fuck.
Rap to the fans, Lil Dicky.
746
00:26:26,737 --> 00:26:29,546
- (EXCITED CHATTER)
- Oh, I don't know about that, I don't...
747
00:26:29,548 --> 00:26:31,717
Spit some shit, Lil Dicky. Rap!
748
00:26:31,719 --> 00:26:32,852
You know, I'm really, I...
749
00:26:32,854 --> 00:26:34,588
wasn't prepared at all
for this type of thing.
750
00:26:34,590 --> 00:26:36,590
Don't film yet. Are you
filming? I don't, uh...
751
00:26:36,592 --> 00:26:39,392
- I don't know.
- Man, I thought this dude was a rapper.
752
00:26:39,394 --> 00:26:42,361
Man, yo, Peter Parker's
scared to rap. Hey, D.
753
00:26:42,363 --> 00:26:44,331
Fuck it, man. Hey, let's
make a beat from scratch.
754
00:26:44,333 --> 00:26:45,732
Fuck this nigga.
755
00:26:45,734 --> 00:26:47,737
(PLAYING DRUMBEAT)
756
00:26:51,039 --> 00:26:52,339
Wait.
757
00:26:52,341 --> 00:26:54,675
(METRONOME BEEPING)
758
00:26:54,677 --> 00:26:57,678
♪ Allow me to tell
y'all what I'm 'bout ♪
759
00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,379
- (LAUGHTER)
- ♪ Like a dinner, you got reservations ♪
760
00:26:59,381 --> 00:27:01,070
♪ But I'm 'bout to
eat up all the doubt ♪
761
00:27:01,072 --> 00:27:03,583
♪ Hey, come on, I'm a
flower, let me sprout ♪
762
00:27:03,585 --> 00:27:05,352
♪ Lookin' like I'm
straight out of Comic-Con ♪
763
00:27:05,354 --> 00:27:07,281
♪ Scrawny Don, hungry, Ramadan ♪
764
00:27:07,283 --> 00:27:09,288
♪ My mama wrong, she
don't think I got a job ♪
765
00:27:09,290 --> 00:27:11,725
♪ But I'm-a make great cheese
like Parmesan, I'm hardly on ♪
766
00:27:11,727 --> 00:27:13,050
♪ But the rent paid ♪
767
00:27:13,052 --> 00:27:14,984
♪ 'Cause you know the pussy
flow good, I menstruate ♪
768
00:27:14,986 --> 00:27:16,876
♪ If we got off on the
wrong foot like Bengay ♪
769
00:27:16,878 --> 00:27:19,099
♪ It's because I'm higher
than a bitch, men's pay ♪
770
00:27:19,101 --> 00:27:21,423
♪ Rappers thinkin' that
they hot, blow your nose ♪
771
00:27:21,425 --> 00:27:23,889
♪ Motherfuckers, it's not,
I ain't never fought a man ♪
772
00:27:23,891 --> 00:27:25,605
♪ In my life, I have only slept with ♪
773
00:27:25,607 --> 00:27:27,440
♪ Four different girls, still
you could get it, though ♪
774
00:27:27,442 --> 00:27:29,309
♪ Get every crevice, though,
come on some chicken ♪
775
00:27:29,311 --> 00:27:31,210
- ♪ Like fresh mozzarella, hella good Ebonics ♪
- (OOHING)
776
00:27:31,212 --> 00:27:33,096
♪ I think like a comic,
my females got bombs ♪
777
00:27:33,098 --> 00:27:34,982
♪ On their body like
they were jihadists ♪
778
00:27:34,984 --> 00:27:38,250
♪ And my libido is scary like
Magic Johnson near mosquitoes ♪
779
00:27:38,252 --> 00:27:40,586
♪ Mm, I'm tactical, I'm back and forth ♪
780
00:27:40,588 --> 00:27:42,656
♪ From actin' dull to rappin'
for you, attractin', lurin' ♪
781
00:27:42,658 --> 00:27:44,490
♪ The faction formin', the
track's recorded, it's about ♪
782
00:27:44,492 --> 00:27:46,159
♪ To put me on the racks
like a fashion store ♪
783
00:27:46,161 --> 00:27:48,350
♪ I just want a girl let
me hit it on a workday ♪
784
00:27:48,352 --> 00:27:49,670
♪ I don't think my
dick has grown at all ♪
785
00:27:49,672 --> 00:27:51,063
♪ Since the first grade,
I'm-a get the cake ♪
786
00:27:51,065 --> 00:27:52,466
♪ With my gifts like a birthday ♪
787
00:27:52,468 --> 00:27:54,801
♪ Separatin' with my
lines like two lanes ♪
788
00:27:54,803 --> 00:27:56,453
♪ I don't want a
Grammy, bro, I got two ♪
789
00:27:56,455 --> 00:27:58,935
♪ And they're fairly old, stay
with more bars than a graph ♪
790
00:27:58,937 --> 00:28:00,865
♪ I'm on top of the class,
hop in a bath with a bad ♪
791
00:28:00,867 --> 00:28:02,842
♪ Little lady with ass, I'm
makin' her laugh, the neck ♪
792
00:28:02,844 --> 00:28:04,777
♪ Like a baby giraffe, shakin'
it fast, makin' it last ♪
793
00:28:04,779 --> 00:28:06,779
♪ Haters amass, sayin' I'm bad,
it's like an eighth grader ♪
794
00:28:06,781 --> 00:28:08,448
♪ Trainin' the class, it's
crazy and blasphemous ♪
795
00:28:08,450 --> 00:28:10,182
♪ I'm 'bout to break 'em in
half, I'm makin' my path ♪
796
00:28:10,184 --> 00:28:12,220
♪ I'm waitin' on my break like
a cast, somebody get a boy ♪
797
00:28:12,222 --> 00:28:13,786
♪ A gig, he got drive and flash. ♪
798
00:28:13,788 --> 00:28:15,956
Like a flash drive.
799
00:28:15,958 --> 00:28:19,793
(ALL GASPING, LAUGHING)
800
00:28:19,795 --> 00:28:21,995
- He kind of tight. Yeah.
- Damn.
801
00:28:21,997 --> 00:28:24,096
Hey, Lil Dicky bitch, if you listening,
802
00:28:24,098 --> 00:28:26,667
hit him with that slickness tonight!
803
00:28:26,669 --> 00:28:28,869
- Oh-oh-oh. Uh...
- None of that dry shit.
804
00:28:28,871 --> 00:28:31,871
Don't take that birth
control till tomorrow, baby.
805
00:28:31,873 --> 00:28:33,273
- (LAUGHTER)
- DAVE: Did you post that already?
806
00:28:33,275 --> 00:28:34,675
Please don't post that. Did you post it?
807
00:28:34,677 --> 00:28:36,275
Yeah.
808
00:28:36,277 --> 00:28:38,255
- Oh.
- Hey, I'm tired, bro.
809
00:28:38,257 --> 00:28:40,279
- I'm going. Let's go.
- (LAUGHING)
810
00:28:40,281 --> 00:28:42,015
Wait, where are you guys going?
811
00:28:42,017 --> 00:28:43,684
Oh, we got a quick Europe run.
812
00:28:43,686 --> 00:28:45,352
We'll be back in a few weeks.
813
00:28:45,354 --> 00:28:47,621
A few weeks? What do you
mean? What about the verse?
814
00:28:47,623 --> 00:28:49,188
Oh. Oh, nah, nah.
815
00:28:49,190 --> 00:28:51,024
We'll take care of that when I get back.
816
00:28:51,026 --> 00:28:53,526
- Well, I would love to settle up right now.
- Yo, yo, yo.
817
00:28:53,528 --> 00:28:54,727
Why you pressin' me, bro?
818
00:28:54,729 --> 00:28:57,163
I don't like that shit. Twin.
819
00:28:57,165 --> 00:28:58,465
DAVE: Wait.
820
00:28:58,467 --> 00:29:00,167
Wait a minute. Just...
slow down. I don't...
821
00:29:00,169 --> 00:29:02,169
Are you gonna change your
number between now and then?
822
00:29:02,171 --> 00:29:04,571
I said I got you.
823
00:29:04,573 --> 00:29:06,206
W-Wait a minute. Hold on.
824
00:29:06,208 --> 00:29:08,475
Hold the phone. Hold on, hold on.
825
00:29:08,477 --> 00:29:10,479
(ENGINE RUMBLING)
826
00:29:12,413 --> 00:29:14,547
Yo, yo.
827
00:29:14,549 --> 00:29:17,417
Hey, man, uh, so, I paid
828
00:29:17,419 --> 00:29:20,187
you guys my life savings
to get on one of my songs,
829
00:29:20,189 --> 00:29:21,755
and we were supposed
to work on it tonight,
830
00:29:21,757 --> 00:29:23,156
and that did not happen.
831
00:29:23,158 --> 00:29:25,158
Damn, bro.
832
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:26,493
My bad.
833
00:29:26,495 --> 00:29:28,840
- You know, I don't...
- Bro, don't trip.
834
00:29:28,842 --> 00:29:30,800
When I get back, we
gonna do something crazy.
835
00:29:30,802 --> 00:29:32,565
- A'ight?
- You promise?
836
00:29:32,567 --> 00:29:33,934
I got you.
837
00:29:33,936 --> 00:29:35,768
We good?
838
00:29:35,770 --> 00:29:37,205
Yeah, we're good.
839
00:29:38,239 --> 00:29:39,872
(SIGHS)
840
00:29:39,874 --> 00:29:42,277
(PHONE VIBRATING)
841
00:29:43,679 --> 00:29:45,178
(TIRES SCREECH)
842
00:29:45,180 --> 00:29:47,204
- (CAR DEPARTING)
- _
843
00:29:47,206 --> 00:29:51,584
_
844
00:29:51,586 --> 00:29:53,786
(SIGHS)
845
00:29:53,788 --> 00:29:57,056
Man, YG get a couple
hits, go all Hollywood.
846
00:29:57,058 --> 00:29:58,725
Had me out here for an hour, bro.
847
00:29:58,727 --> 00:30:00,192
Did he do the verse or what?
848
00:30:00,194 --> 00:30:02,027
No, he didn't do the verse.
849
00:30:02,029 --> 00:30:04,762
He did put me on his Instagram
rapping for, like, two minutes.
850
00:30:04,764 --> 00:30:06,967
- He put you on his Instagram rapping?
- Yeah, and it's going viral.
851
00:30:06,969 --> 00:30:08,648
- I can't believe that.
- Yeah, look.
852
00:30:08,650 --> 00:30:10,196
- (DAVE RAPPING ON PHONE)
- Dang, that...
853
00:30:10,198 --> 00:30:11,304
This is way sicker than a verse.
854
00:30:11,306 --> 00:30:13,806
He basically directed a
music video for you, bro.
855
00:30:13,808 --> 00:30:16,309
Gata, I am incredibly high.
856
00:30:16,311 --> 00:30:17,744
Would you drive my car?
857
00:30:17,746 --> 00:30:19,312
I got you, bro. Let's wiggle.
858
00:30:19,314 --> 00:30:20,983
Okay.
859
00:30:22,584 --> 00:30:24,217
Hey, be honest with me.
860
00:30:24,219 --> 00:30:27,387
Were you just using me to
get into the studio with them?
861
00:30:27,389 --> 00:30:29,956
(SCOFFS) Man, you know I got
to do what I got to do, bro.
862
00:30:29,958 --> 00:30:31,172
I'm a positive opportunist.
863
00:30:31,174 --> 00:30:32,391
- You know how I gander and wiggle.
- I know.
864
00:30:32,393 --> 00:30:34,393
We 'posed to be like Kobe and
Shaq, bro. I got to get mine.
865
00:30:34,395 --> 00:30:36,228
You 'posed to throw it off
the glass, bro. I rap, too.
866
00:30:36,230 --> 00:30:39,399
- Like, what's good? I ain't...
- No, I'm not mad. I...
867
00:30:39,401 --> 00:30:41,967
I'm honored to be a part of
your gander, as you would put it.
868
00:30:41,969 --> 00:30:43,136
I think it's cool.
869
00:30:43,138 --> 00:30:44,215
I think we're gonna be
telling this story at,
870
00:30:44,217 --> 00:30:46,506
- like, our 50th birthday parties.
- 50th birthday party?
871
00:30:46,508 --> 00:30:47,607
What's really good with this weekend?
872
00:30:47,609 --> 00:30:49,842
- What's the plot, fool?
- (ENGINE STARTS)
873
00:30:49,844 --> 00:30:51,945
I'm not doing anything this weekend.
874
00:30:51,947 --> 00:30:53,679
I need to rest.
875
00:30:53,681 --> 00:30:56,850
♪ My dick sucks, my dick sucks ♪
876
00:30:56,852 --> 00:31:00,452
♪ My dick sucks, fuck! ♪
877
00:31:00,454 --> 00:31:03,957
♪ My dick sucks, my dick sucks ♪
878
00:31:03,959 --> 00:31:06,659
♪ My dick sucks, fuck! ♪
879
00:31:06,661 --> 00:31:08,661
♪ Hey, girl, hey, girl ♪
880
00:31:08,663 --> 00:31:10,362
♪ Hey, girl, what you
tryin' to say, girl? ♪
881
00:31:10,364 --> 00:31:11,832
♪ When you see my dick, you may hurl ♪
882
00:31:11,834 --> 00:31:13,533
♪ But I'm still kind
of hot like May, girl ♪
883
00:31:13,535 --> 00:31:15,267
♪ Whoa, girl, whoa, girl ♪
884
00:31:15,269 --> 00:31:16,769
♪ I'm just tryin' to
let you know, girl ♪
885
00:31:16,771 --> 00:31:18,371
♪ My dick sucks fo' sho', girl ♪
886
00:31:18,373 --> 00:31:19,872
♪ But I make up for that ♪
887
00:31:19,874 --> 00:31:21,474
♪ Like, even though my dick is shorty ♪
888
00:31:21,476 --> 00:31:23,142
♪ It sit there like it's Gotti ♪
889
00:31:23,144 --> 00:31:24,710
♪ And it do good work like Gandhi ♪
890
00:31:24,712 --> 00:31:26,846
♪ And it might grow more
like Brawny, probably not ♪
891
00:31:26,848 --> 00:31:29,983
♪ Got bitches in the lobby,
their body language obvi ♪
892
00:31:29,985 --> 00:31:32,886
♪ If five-inches the over-under,
I'm underdog like Rocky ♪
893
00:31:32,888 --> 00:31:34,554
♪ They don't care about my cock ♪
894
00:31:34,556 --> 00:31:36,323
♪ I could use a pussy mop ♪
895
00:31:36,325 --> 00:31:37,957
♪ In the scene like I'm a prop ♪
896
00:31:37,959 --> 00:31:39,659
♪ She saw me and went in shock ♪
897
00:31:39,661 --> 00:31:41,697
♪ Technically I'm unemployed... ♪
898
00:31:47,736 --> 00:31:50,739
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -