1 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:13,491 ♪ We face the music together♪ 2 00:00:16,146 --> 00:00:20,107 ♪ And throw our hats in the ring♪ 3 00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:25,199 ♪ Facing all kinds of weather♪ 4 00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:30,987 ♪ And not afraid of anything♪ 5 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,033 ♪ Hey♪ 6 00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:36,079 ♪ When the sun comes up we'll be on our way♪ 7 00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:38,212 ♪ And we don't care where we land♪ 8 00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:41,780 ♪ And the waves are high, but we won't turn 'round♪ 9 00:00:41,824 --> 00:00:44,609 ♪ 'Cause your hand is in my hand♪ 10 00:00:44,653 --> 00:00:46,481 ♪ And, oh-oh♪ 11 00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:50,398 ♪ You make me feel invincible♪ 12 00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:53,270 ♪ 'Cause it's you and me♪ 13 00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:56,969 ♪ Through the wind and hail♪ 14 00:00:57,013 --> 00:01:01,583 ♪ Setting sail into the world.♪ 15 00:01:06,762 --> 00:01:09,504 ♪ ♪ 16 00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:12,289 TV NARRATOR: And now, in a scene as old as time itself, 17 00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:14,813 the female, now a mother, presents her baby 18 00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:18,165 to the father. It's a tense moment. 19 00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:20,863 [gorilla growling] 20 00:01:20,906 --> 00:01:23,170 Males have been known to reject their young 21 00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:24,954 if they are in any doubt as to whether or not 22 00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:26,912 -they are the father. -[gorilla screeches] 23 00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:28,436 Or even to eat them. 24 00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:31,047 Oh, please don't eat your baby. 25 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,267 [grunts] 26 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:37,227 Ooh, fuck. Ugh. 27 00:01:37,271 --> 00:01:39,055 -[knocks] -I'm going to bed. 28 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,361 All right, babe, I'll be in. 29 00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:41,884 I just want to finish this reel. 30 00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:44,930 Do you ever get strong parental feelings? 31 00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:46,410 Overpowering? 32 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:49,326 Um... No. 33 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,676 Uh, well, I just finished watching this, uh, program 34 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,722 about baby gorillas in the Congo, 35 00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:56,812 and I don't know, I... I started lactating. 36 00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:58,422 That's disgusting. 37 00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:00,120 Well, don't you get bored of yourself? 38 00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:01,773 Of your happiness? 39 00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:03,862 Your mindfulness? Of your running? 40 00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:05,125 Your career? 41 00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:07,736 I get so bored of "me." 42 00:02:07,779 --> 00:02:09,868 Mm-hmm, yeah, I-I know what you mean. 43 00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:12,697 Honey, I feel incomplete. 44 00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:14,873 Well, let's discuss it sometime. 45 00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:17,441 I'll click the kettle. 46 00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:19,269 Well, we could do IVF 47 00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:21,793 -like my friends Charlie and Mike. -What did they do? 48 00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:24,448 They paid some poor lady in India to be their surrogate, 49 00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,581 and then they mixed up their sperm 50 00:02:26,624 --> 00:02:29,366 so they wouldn't find out which one of them fertilized the egg. 51 00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:31,847 -Did that work? -Sure, they've got a beautiful 52 00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:33,979 three-year-old who looks exactly like Charlie. 53 00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:35,981 [chuckles] 54 00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:37,896 And what happened to the poor Indian lady? 55 00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:40,072 I don't know. I guess she ate really well for a year. 56 00:02:40,116 --> 00:02:43,337 Mm. Okay, what about adopting? 57 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,208 That makes sense. I have no desire 58 00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,775 to bring another human being into the world. 59 00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,211 No. Me, neither. So... 60 00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:49,908 Right. Well, what are we gonna do? 61 00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:52,259 Are we gonna really think about it? 62 00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:53,738 TV NARRATOR: And so, Tobin and Andy 63 00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:55,740 begin their reproductive journey, 64 00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:58,439 here in the city of New York. 65 00:02:58,482 --> 00:03:01,833 It will be an adventure full of excitement, disappointment, 66 00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:06,186 laughter, tears, and an astounding amount of paperwork. 67 00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:08,840 So, have you guys thought about open adoption, too? 68 00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:10,538 Um... Do you guys do that? 69 00:03:10,581 --> 00:03:12,148 Everyone does now. 70 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,803 The birth mother has as much or as little access 71 00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:17,066 with the child as the three of you agree. 72 00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,155 And you would be legal guardians, of course. 73 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,244 That sounds... awesome. 74 00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:23,115 -I-I think we'd like that. -Okay. 75 00:03:23,159 --> 00:03:26,380 Well, let me give you a little paperwork to fill out. 76 00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:27,990 -Oh. -Oh. -And I'll get you 77 00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:29,383 -in my database. -That is a whole tree 78 00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:30,775 -of paperwork. -[chuckles] 79 00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:32,995 What exactly did you expect 80 00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:34,692 was gonna happen today, Andy? 81 00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:36,259 -He brought a car seat today. -Well... 82 00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:38,653 -Oh... -I-- Shut up, I did not. 83 00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:40,698 ♪ ♪ 84 00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,055 -[ringtone playing] -It's her. 85 00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:51,535 -Huh? -It's her. 86 00:03:51,579 --> 00:03:52,971 Oh. 87 00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:54,930 [ringtone continues playing] 88 00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:56,801 -Okay. Hey, Trina. -All right, all right, all right. 89 00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:58,238 TRINA: How you guys holding up? 90 00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,848 -We're okay, yeah. -Good. 91 00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:03,591 Okay. So, this one did not pan out. 92 00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,419 Yeah, I'm sorry. 93 00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:07,247 She got cold feet. 94 00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:09,031 Was it, was it the gay thing again? 95 00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:10,554 No, I don't believe so. 96 00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:13,209 Jesus, how hard can it be for two employed, 97 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,516 home-owning homosexuals to start a family? 98 00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:17,561 I thought we would have quintuplets by now. 99 00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:19,302 I know. I-I do have one more idea. 100 00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,173 -Quintuplets? -Yeah. -It's a long shot. 101 00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:23,567 She came into our office recently and liked your file. 102 00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,526 But she's a little... 103 00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:28,572 Little what? 104 00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:30,357 You know what? You should just meet her. 105 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,272 How about Thursday? 106 00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:35,579 -Okay. -Yeah. 107 00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,581 ♪ ♪ 108 00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:41,803 -[barks] -Oh! 109 00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:43,195 -Whoa. Jesus. -Holy shit. 110 00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:45,067 -You ready for this? -This is it. 111 00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:47,112 ♪ ♪ 112 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,337 Hey. 113 00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:55,338 -Hey. -Hey. 114 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:56,470 Are you Karla? 115 00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,036 Yeah. Tobin and Andy, right? 116 00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,473 -Other way... -Oh. Sorry. 117 00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,170 -[Karla chuckles] -Tobin. Andy. 118 00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:03,259 -Oh, sit. Sorry. -TOBIN: Yeah. Yeah. 119 00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:09,613 -Hi. [laughs] -Hi. Hi. -Hey. 120 00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:11,311 Feels like an interview. 121 00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:13,574 -But who's interviewing who? -[all chuckle] 122 00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:15,315 Well, you should be interviewing us, I guess. 123 00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:18,274 [singsongy]: I mean, we're the ones who want your baby. 124 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,797 Right. 125 00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:21,495 Who are you? 126 00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,366 -Who, me or him? -As a couple. 127 00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:24,976 I don't care about you as individuals. 128 00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:26,674 Who are you as a couple, and... 129 00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:28,893 why are you the ones to take care of my baby boy? 130 00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:31,113 Or girl. I haven't checked. Go. 131 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,116 Uh... 132 00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:36,379 well, when we first met, at a party, 133 00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,773 uh, I was coming down with the flu. 134 00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:40,818 I could feel it in my bones. 135 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:44,387 And I knew I should go home, but he was so interesting, 136 00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,389 so we spent the entire night 137 00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:48,609 walking around the city until dawn 138 00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,698 on the coldest night of the year. 139 00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:53,527 The next day, my mom admits me into the hospital. 140 00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:55,442 -I had double pneumonia. -Fuck. 141 00:05:55,485 --> 00:05:57,182 And he didn't know anything about this, 142 00:05:57,226 --> 00:05:59,489 because I lost his number on the way to the hospital. 143 00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:02,187 So for three days of-of fever and hallucination, 144 00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:04,886 all I'm thinking is, "Oh, no, he's gonna think 145 00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:06,975 -that I don't care." -Right. 146 00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:08,498 Also, he's, like, a decade older than me, 147 00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:10,108 so he's punching above his weight. 148 00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:12,807 But when I came to, he was there, 149 00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:14,852 at my bedside. 150 00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:17,942 Wait. How did you know how to find him? 151 00:06:17,986 --> 00:06:20,031 I got his number from the hostess of the party. 152 00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:22,643 I just had a sense that we'd gotten along so well, 153 00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:25,254 there must be some reason for him not calling me. 154 00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:27,822 He was right. [chuckles] 155 00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:29,345 That is so gay. 156 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,781 And so nice. 157 00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:32,957 -Love is telepathic, right? -TOBIN: Yeah. 158 00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:34,698 I knew you guys were cool. 159 00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:36,874 -WAITER: Lovely. So now... -Oh. 160 00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:38,180 ...can I get you all something? 161 00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:39,834 Uh, yeah. Uh, good idea. 162 00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:41,836 Um, you want another coffee, Karla? 163 00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:44,055 -Or what do you want? -Are you getting this or am I? 164 00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:46,231 -Oh, us. Totally us. Yeah. -Oh, us. Us, us, us. 165 00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:50,845 I'll have the lunch special, 166 00:06:50,888 --> 00:06:52,847 a-and a Coke and another coffee. 167 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,892 And, uh, save me a banana split. 168 00:06:54,936 --> 00:06:56,111 Guys? 169 00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:57,808 -Um... -[Karla clears throat] 170 00:06:57,852 --> 00:06:59,767 Uh, well, could we get two green teas? 171 00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:03,988 TOBIN: So, uh, when are you due? 172 00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:06,730 [clears throat] Eight months. 173 00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:08,253 Is that okay? I mean, a newborn, 174 00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:09,777 is that what you were looking for? 175 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:10,734 Oh, we don't care. 176 00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:11,735 And how much involvement 177 00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:12,997 do you think you'd like? 178 00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:14,608 It's hard to say. I travel a lot. 179 00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,697 But I come through New York twice a year, so... 180 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,655 you know, maybe twice a year. 181 00:07:18,699 --> 00:07:22,050 Okay. Uh, and what's the traveling about? Work? 182 00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:23,486 No, I'm homeless. 183 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,270 Okay. Okay. 184 00:07:25,314 --> 00:07:28,012 -Okay, cool. -Awesome. 185 00:07:28,056 --> 00:07:30,014 Oh, stop pretending that doesn't throw you a little bit. 186 00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:31,451 I mean, maybe... maybe a little bit. 187 00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:33,931 -Yeah. Yeah. -Yes. Is-is it... 188 00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:36,934 Wait, so... so, who's the father, Karla? 189 00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:38,370 A guy I met on the street. 190 00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:39,676 Yeah, um, he's a good man. 191 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:41,373 Our paths cross every once in a while, 192 00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:43,201 but, you know, ultimately not a match. 193 00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:46,291 He wants to settle down somewhere. Not me. 194 00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:48,816 -What do you think that's about? -I don't know. I mean, 195 00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:50,121 I don't have any mental problems. 196 00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:52,167 I'm just, um... I just don't like being 197 00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:54,082 in one place for too long. 198 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,301 Oh. Can I have a muffin? 199 00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:57,868 Thanks. 200 00:07:57,912 --> 00:08:00,044 Yeah, and, you know, I-I follow the sun. 201 00:08:00,088 --> 00:08:01,916 Oh, like a... like a James Taylor song. 202 00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:03,570 And houses make me feel claustrophobic. 203 00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,441 I think they're a trap we build for ourselves, like... 204 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,269 like cars and smartphones. 205 00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:09,837 Things we think make us smarter but actually make us more dumb. 206 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,708 I think traveling, you see a new city 207 00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:14,668 every week, you totally get to reconnect with the country 208 00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:16,670 and the people that made it great. 209 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:19,150 Instead of just watching it through a TV. 210 00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:20,717 Thank you. 211 00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:24,068 Can I borrow your spoon? 212 00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:25,940 Yeah. 213 00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:29,639 Hey. Hey. Let me... let me help you with that. 214 00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,075 Oh. Thanks. 215 00:08:31,119 --> 00:08:33,208 -Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. Whoa. -You okay? 216 00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:34,862 [chuckles] Yep. What's in here? 217 00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:36,124 It's just my world. 218 00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:37,778 [objects clinking] 219 00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:39,214 Hello, darling. Hello, baby. 220 00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:40,824 -I got you a little treat. -[chuckles]: Oh. 221 00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,652 -Your dog? -This is. This is Homer. 222 00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:44,088 He goes everywhere I go. 223 00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:45,612 Yeah, is that good? 224 00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:47,439 -Hi... -Want to say hi? -Hi. 225 00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:49,485 Homer, say hi. Say hi. 226 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,531 -Hi. -[chuckles]: Hi. 227 00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:53,707 -So, are we doing this? -Wait-wait. 228 00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,665 Don't you want to know if we, like, own our apartment? 229 00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:58,363 Or-or-or, uh, how much we take home a year? 230 00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:00,844 -What colleges we went to? -Are we on a contract? 231 00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:02,933 -That's a popular one. -No. No, I don't care 232 00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:05,196 about any of that stuff. I just want to see that you're in love. 233 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,546 I think you are. 234 00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,286 -Give me that. -Uh... 235 00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:09,810 Well, it's not always happy families with us, 236 00:09:09,853 --> 00:09:11,289 i-it frequently descends into, uh, 237 00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,248 Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? 238 00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:16,207 Sure. Okay, so I'm gonna go back to Trina, and say that I think 239 00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:18,296 I found a match, and then, if we all agree to this, 240 00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,081 I'm gonna continue my travels for, like, 241 00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:21,865 the first two trimesters, and then come back to the city. 242 00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,519 Um, yeah, here's my number. 243 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:27,697 Oh. Okay. Thank you so much. 244 00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:30,308 It was a real experience meeting you. 245 00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:32,093 This is a really good thing. 246 00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:34,661 You guys are good people, and my baby boy 247 00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:37,185 or girl would be privileged to be looked after 248 00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:40,014 by a couple like you. 249 00:09:40,057 --> 00:09:41,755 Yeah. Bye. Thanks for lunch. 250 00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:44,366 Come! 251 00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:45,628 Bye. 252 00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:51,460 ANDY: So is she good crazy or bad crazy? 253 00:09:51,503 --> 00:09:53,810 TOBIN: I don't know. I'm not sure she knows what she's doing. 254 00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:56,247 But you do know that we advocate for everything 255 00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:57,553 -she's talking about? -Yeah. 256 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,424 Uh, capitalism gone crazy, fear, 257 00:09:59,468 --> 00:10:01,165 -traps of our own making... -Right, I like that about her, 258 00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:02,776 but she's taking it a little far, right? 259 00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:05,735 What? [scoffs] By actually living it? 260 00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:08,520 -[chuckles] Yeah. Yeah, kind of. Yeah. -Okay... 261 00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:10,000 All right, come on, Kipper, take a shit already. 262 00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:12,133 Don't put her under pressure, all right? 263 00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:13,787 -It makes her nervous. -Okay, whatever... 264 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,963 I'm just saying, we don't know anything about this girl 265 00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:17,573 or-or what she's going through. 266 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,531 How do we know that she won't just-- come on-- 267 00:10:19,575 --> 00:10:21,795 she won't just change her mind when she sees the baby? 268 00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,579 It just feels really intrusive. 269 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:28,018 Two creepy gays messing with some young kid's pregnancy. 270 00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:30,499 -Just... Let's just leave it. -[laughs] 271 00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:32,370 Leave it alone. We're not supposed to be parents. 272 00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:33,807 We're not parents and that's all right. 273 00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,243 This is a gift, okay? 274 00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:37,637 It's not some poor woman that's been coerced 275 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,639 by circumstance into having our child, 276 00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:42,337 or bringing a new child into this fucking hellhole. 277 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,992 This is happening either way. Okay? 278 00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:46,689 And we get to be there to catch it. 279 00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:49,649 No, it just feels like a hell of a lot of time 280 00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:53,653 to spend on something that may not even happen. 281 00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:56,743 And it's a hell of a lot of disappointment, for us, 282 00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,092 if she changes her mind. 283 00:10:58,135 --> 00:11:00,137 And that's perfect. 284 00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:04,141 We get to live something that we actually believe. 285 00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:06,013 Yeah. 286 00:11:06,056 --> 00:11:09,494 -Hey, baby, my baby, my baby. -[chuckles] 287 00:11:09,538 --> 00:11:14,238 -[gasps] Yes, good girl! -[gasps] Miracle! Good girl! 288 00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:16,371 -Here you are. -Why is it always me 289 00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:18,416 -that cleans up? -'Cause. It's your dog. 290 00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,680 -It's our f-- it's ourdog. -Okay, it's our dog, 291 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,290 -but it's your shit. -It's our shit. 292 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:25,075 -It's not our shit. Aw... -Our shit. Good girl. 293 00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:26,555 -Okay. Okay. -Thank you, honey. 294 00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:28,078 -Can you open the gate, please? -I can open the gate. 295 00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:29,427 -Thank you so much. -Why do you have an attitude? 296 00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:30,690 -I really appreciate that... -You don't need to 297 00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:32,126 -have an attitude. -I don't have an attitude. 298 00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:33,170 -I'm just asking very simply. -I feel like you got... 299 00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:34,694 Considering I've got shit in my hand, 300 00:11:34,737 --> 00:11:36,478 -I would not be talking to me... -It's your dog. 301 00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:38,175 -...in an abrasive manner. -You can have shit in your hand. 302 00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:39,568 -Thank you. -Okay, honey. You know what? 303 00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:41,701 It's fine, I want to watch Fargo.Is that okay? 304 00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:43,224 -You can watch whatever you want. -Okay. Thank you. 305 00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:46,793 Oh, come on, are you-- are you-- are you, like, four years old? 306 00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:50,492 [buzzer trilling] 307 00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:57,455 -Hey! Welcome! -Hi! 308 00:11:57,499 --> 00:11:59,109 Oh, both of you! 309 00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:00,197 -Oh. -[chuckles] 310 00:12:00,241 --> 00:12:02,852 -Hey. -Three of you. Jesus Christ. 311 00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:04,332 -Look at you. -Come in. 312 00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:05,986 You beat the rain. You know, a big summer storm is due. 313 00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:06,987 -I got that. I got-- Oh! -Thanks. 314 00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:08,728 -Oh, oh! -You okay? 315 00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:10,120 Uh, yeah, sorry, I just grabbed it... 316 00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,992 -Yeah, thank you. -TOBIN: You okay? 317 00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:13,341 Homer! Bad dog! 318 00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:15,778 [growling, barking] 319 00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:18,041 Your dog seems a little threatened by Homer. 320 00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:19,826 He can get very territorial. 321 00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:22,698 Wow. A territorial dog with no territory. 322 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,308 He makes everywhere his territory. 323 00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:26,789 Homer! Hit the deck. 324 00:12:29,574 --> 00:12:32,403 So, thanks for this, guys. I love your apartment. 325 00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:35,015 -I'm-I'm really excited to stay. -Oh, you're staying? 326 00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:38,583 -In-in-in New York? -Of course she is. 327 00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:39,976 She's staying with us. [chuckles] 328 00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:44,067 Oh. Oh. Um, oh. Cool. Great. 329 00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,547 Is that okay? Have you guys discussed that? 330 00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:46,983 -We're discussing it right now. -No. 331 00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:48,680 -It's a live discussion. -It's okay. 332 00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,639 It's great. And you're only a couple of weeks out, right? 333 00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:53,120 -You're gonna pop any day, huh? -I'm eight weeks out. 334 00:12:53,163 --> 00:12:55,296 -Eight weeks. Eight weeks. -Mm-hmm. 335 00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:58,038 -Great. -ANDY: We are happy to have you. 336 00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,648 It just makes us feel involved. 337 00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:03,957 Yeah. Andy has been preparing for parenthood like crazy. 338 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,393 -Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. -[clears throat] 339 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:08,265 So I've, um, I've turned Tobin's study into a baby room, 340 00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:10,441 and I've painted it half blue, half pink, you know, 341 00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:12,139 -covering both bases... -TOBIN: Not that we want to 342 00:13:12,182 --> 00:13:14,706 impose our gender stereotypes, God forbid. [chuckles] 343 00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:16,230 ANDY: Let me ask you a question. 344 00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,710 -TOBIN: Oh, great. Yup, go. -ANDY: Baby quiz, you ready? 345 00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:19,842 -Baby quiz. -Yeah... [chuckles] 346 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:21,670 Yeah. That's true. You're hearing it right. 347 00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:24,455 Yeah, so what does it mean when the baby's poo is green? 348 00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,370 [buzzes] Pass. I don't know. 349 00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:27,807 Pass? What do you mean, "pass"? 350 00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:29,809 -Pass. I don't know. -Means the baby is sick. 351 00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:30,984 TOBIN: Why don't we just find that out? 352 00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:33,203 -You want us to just find out... -[whistles] 353 00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:34,378 -You all right? -Oh, my... 354 00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:37,512 Yeah. So where's my room? 355 00:13:39,557 --> 00:13:40,950 You're in it. 356 00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:45,737 Sweet. 357 00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:47,435 ♪ Gonna show you what we got♪ 358 00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:50,612 ♪ We're Indian, so you know we make it hot♪ 359 00:13:50,655 --> 00:13:52,657 [music continues loudly] 360 00:13:56,748 --> 00:14:00,100 -Whoa. Hey. -Welcome home, dear. 361 00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:03,451 What time do you call this? Gallivanting in some bar, huh, 362 00:14:03,494 --> 00:14:05,279 while I'm slaving over a hot stove! 363 00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,237 [chuckles] Nice look. 364 00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:08,238 It's so hot in here. 365 00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:09,196 -[barks] -Oh! Oh, Jesus. 366 00:14:09,239 --> 00:14:10,545 Hello. 367 00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:14,505 -You look fucking beautiful. -Thank you, Andy. 368 00:14:14,549 --> 00:14:16,551 You know, if you want to just, uh, throw your-- sorry-- 369 00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:18,205 your-- throw your, th-throw your clothes in a bag, 370 00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:20,163 I can include them in my next laundry run. 371 00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:23,645 -Why would I do that? -Um, because a-a lot of people do that? 372 00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:25,212 Why would I waste money on a laundromat when I can 373 00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:27,910 wash my clothes in the bath and then dry them here? 374 00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,607 Just an idea. Crazy idea. 375 00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:32,219 So I cooked a prawn bhuna. It's been a while, 376 00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:34,961 but I think I got the recipe right... ish. 377 00:14:35,004 --> 00:14:36,832 You didn't have any coconut milk, so I used tap water. 378 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,268 Oh, and I couldn't afford prawns, 379 00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:40,749 so it's little tuna bits instead. You hungry? 380 00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:43,360 ♪ ♪ 381 00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:45,014 Mm. 382 00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:47,147 I just don't understand how you guys can keep going out 383 00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:48,626 to restaurants, like, every night. 384 00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:50,324 Because we can't cook, that's why. 385 00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:52,717 -I cook for you all the time... -No, no, honey, honey, honey. 386 00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:55,155 You prepare food for me, that's what you do. We can't cook. 387 00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:57,113 Cooking-- cooking is an art. 388 00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:59,768 It's an art that we have yet to master. All right? 389 00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:01,944 -Is that fair? -Well, you should learn. You should learn. 390 00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:03,728 You could save so much money by cooking at home. 391 00:15:03,772 --> 00:15:06,775 This is a ridiculous, inexcusable waste. 392 00:15:06,818 --> 00:15:08,777 -Yeah. -You should take a home economics course 393 00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:10,257 and learn the basics. 394 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:11,693 -[chuckling] -Yeah, I want a full fridge 395 00:15:11,736 --> 00:15:14,522 and freezer, and a roster of good, nourishing meals. 396 00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:16,741 You can't take a screaming baby out to restaurants every night. 397 00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:18,569 You-- It pisses people off. 398 00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:22,138 You know what else pisses people off? Pregnant women who drink. 399 00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:24,140 -Oh, come on... -Wine. What? 400 00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:26,708 Are you joking? Are you joking? 401 00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:29,363 I have given up everything for this kid. 402 00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:32,322 I don't smoke, I don't smoke weed, I don't have spicy food. 403 00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:34,368 ♪ ♪ 404 00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:42,854 ♪ ♪ 405 00:15:58,566 --> 00:16:00,220 Hey, girl. Come on. 406 00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,700 Where are you? Good girl, you ready? 407 00:16:02,744 --> 00:16:05,312 -Come on. Hey. -[panting] 408 00:16:06,922 --> 00:16:08,184 You all right? 409 00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:12,058 Huh? Are you panting? 410 00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:15,061 Huh? What's up, huh? 411 00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:24,984 Good girl. Good girl. 412 00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:32,992 I thought you said your dog was neutered, Karla. 413 00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:35,690 I honestly didn't hear you, I thought you said "tutored." 414 00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:38,910 In what way was your dog tutored? 415 00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,695 He had some behavioral issues, so he did some classes 416 00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:42,001 with a dog whisperer. 417 00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:44,046 [scoffs] Well, thanks, Karla. 418 00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,439 He may have scarred our dog for life. 419 00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:47,267 Oh, stop it. You're being dramatic. 420 00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:49,704 You give her the pills, it goes away; it's fine, honey. 421 00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:51,749 Maybe, but this is my day off. I'm supposed to be having 422 00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:53,925 a leisurely breakfast, and now I'm performing a home-abortion. 423 00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:57,190 You know, it just doesn't make sense. 424 00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:59,931 How could Kipper even accommodate your dog's penis? 425 00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:01,455 [barking] 426 00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:06,547 [muffled chatter] 427 00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:10,377 [barking] 428 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:12,031 Shh! 429 00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:13,684 [whispering]: What? Andy. 430 00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:16,687 -Andy, wake up. Wake up. -What? What? What? What? What? 431 00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:18,994 Shh. Voices. Listen, there's voices. 432 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,778 -Where? I'm asleep. -I hear voices. 433 00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:22,606 -What? I'm asleep. -In the living room. Shh. 434 00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:24,260 -Listen. Get up. -No. 435 00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:25,870 -Get up. -Take Kipper. 436 00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:27,307 I don't want to go. 437 00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:30,527 KARLA: It was smeared across my skin, 438 00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:33,008 -with this ugly face... -MICK: Like, like Alien? 439 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,618 KARLA: Like, yeah, like... [hisses] 440 00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:36,185 -MICK: Like Sigourney Weaver? -Like Sigourney Weaver. 441 00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:37,969 -MICK: I like Sigourney Weaver. -[laughs]: You do? 442 00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:39,493 -MICK: Have you seen Avatar? -A long time ago. 443 00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:40,755 [Homer growls, barks] 444 00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:42,974 Oh, shit. Sorry. Oh, my God, did we wake you? 445 00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:45,107 -What the hell, Karla? -Who is this? 446 00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,587 I'm so sorry if we were being loud. 447 00:17:46,630 --> 00:17:48,067 This is, um-- fuck, what's your name? 448 00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:49,329 -Mick. -Mick. 449 00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:51,157 -Where did he come from? -He's on the street. 450 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,376 We passed him on the way back from the movies tonight. 451 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,248 -Don't remember that. -Exactly. 452 00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:57,250 So I offered him some food. It's a thing we do. 453 00:17:57,293 --> 00:17:59,121 I've got a roof over my head for a while. 454 00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,384 It's cold out. Is that okay? 455 00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:04,387 No. It's not. It's not okay, frankly. 456 00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:06,215 -Why? -Do you know what, I-I get it. 457 00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:07,912 If I had a nice gaff like this, 458 00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,479 I wouldn't be letting random blokes in, either. 459 00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:11,916 You should have just asked, run it by us first, 460 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,267 -but it's-it's fine. It's... -It's not. You know what? 461 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,573 It's not fine. We're putting up with you staying here. 462 00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:18,619 That doesn't mean anyone you choose to bring home. 463 00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:20,055 "Putting up" with me? 464 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,623 I didn't realize that was the way you looked at it. 465 00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:24,190 -He doesn't mean it like that. -Don't I? 466 00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:26,192 Do you know what, lads, you guys have some serious issues 467 00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:28,237 you need to work out, so I'm just gonna... 468 00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:29,543 No! No, Mick. While I'm staying here, 469 00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:31,371 any friend of mine is welcome to come in 470 00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:32,850 and share my good fortune, so you just... 471 00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:34,287 you just stay right here. 472 00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:36,158 I was actually just gonna go... toilet, 473 00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:37,812 if that's all right? 474 00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:40,423 It's on the right. 475 00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:42,164 -Oh, okay, sorry. -TOBIN: He's not a friend of yours. 476 00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:44,210 He's a stranger. And this is our apartment, 477 00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:46,516 in which you are a guest, and that doesn't extend 478 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,128 to any random guy you just meet on the street. 479 00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,086 So that's how it is with you, Tobin? 480 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,783 All gay and liberal and laid-back 481 00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:54,916 until you actually have to give something up? 482 00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:57,397 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what this is about. 483 00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,442 And what does my sexuality have to do with anything? 484 00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:00,835 That sounds like homophobia to me. 485 00:19:00,878 --> 00:19:02,576 Anybody would be on my side on this. 486 00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:04,708 Is Andy? Are you, Andy, on his side? 487 00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:06,710 -I am staying out of this, okay? -Oh, great, thank you. 488 00:19:06,754 --> 00:19:08,756 Thank you for that. Welcome back. 489 00:19:08,799 --> 00:19:10,627 Thank you. 490 00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:13,021 Is this the first guy you've brought home here? 491 00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:14,240 -First British guy. -TOBIN: Oh, Jesus Christ, 492 00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:16,024 I didn't know we were running a shelter. 493 00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,982 -You are so uptight. -I'm not uptight! 494 00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:20,246 This place stinks of incense! 495 00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:22,552 There's-there's prawn bhuna on the... on the carpet. 496 00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:24,728 It's everywhere you... touch! 497 00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:27,775 You've turned my living room into a... into a-a bedouin camp. 498 00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:29,646 You've forced me into a dog abortion. 499 00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:33,259 And now you're smoking skunk and drinking while pregnant 500 00:19:33,302 --> 00:19:37,132 and having sex, probably, with Mick the stranger on my couch! 501 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,003 Did you say you did a dog abortion? 502 00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:41,441 Oh, stay out of this, Mick. You're just here for a hot meal. 503 00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:44,095 Do you know what, right? 504 00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:47,403 Do you know what? I get it. Right? 505 00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:49,318 But you should try some of her food, 506 00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:52,321 'cause you might learn something. 507 00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:53,888 Thanks, Mick. 508 00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:55,498 See you soon. 509 00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:01,417 You know what? You know what, Tobin? 510 00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:04,333 You are an insufferable bore. You really are. 511 00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:06,335 You claim you're interested in other people 512 00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:08,207 with your documentaries, but there is no evidence 513 00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:09,991 in your life whatsoever of you caring 514 00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:12,776 about anyone but yourself. You read The New York Times, 515 00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,648 and you bitch about Trump, but you mean none of it. 516 00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:15,779 You're not interested in your community. 517 00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:17,085 You just like the idea of it. 518 00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:19,870 You're just a... y-you're a hipster liberal! 519 00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:21,524 And you contribute to the community how? 520 00:20:21,568 --> 00:20:23,700 By living off the generosity of other people? 521 00:20:23,744 --> 00:20:25,702 What do you do for other people? 522 00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:27,748 Huh? You're a world of one! 523 00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:29,228 Oh, fuck you! 524 00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:33,014 Can't even take care of your own baby. 525 00:20:33,057 --> 00:20:34,494 [door slams] 526 00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:36,147 Asshole. 527 00:20:39,586 --> 00:20:41,544 ♪ ♪ 528 00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:53,426 Karla? Karla?! 529 00:20:56,298 --> 00:20:57,691 Karla? 530 00:21:13,663 --> 00:21:15,839 Karla?! 531 00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:23,456 ♪ ♪ 532 00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:28,112 [panting quietly] 533 00:21:51,919 --> 00:21:53,921 ♪ ♪ 534 00:22:11,112 --> 00:22:12,766 [horn honks in distance] 535 00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:15,421 I'm sorry I said that. Such an idiotic thing to say. 536 00:22:15,464 --> 00:22:17,901 -I'm ashamed. -Oh, fuck it, Tobin, it's fine. 537 00:22:17,945 --> 00:22:19,729 We don't have to agree on anything. 538 00:22:19,773 --> 00:22:22,428 -Our lives are a world apart. -That may be right, but I... 539 00:22:22,471 --> 00:22:24,125 but I-I shouldn't have said that shit. 540 00:22:24,168 --> 00:22:26,736 You're welcome here, you know? 541 00:22:26,780 --> 00:22:28,782 It's just... 542 00:22:28,825 --> 00:22:30,697 it's hard for me. 543 00:22:32,568 --> 00:22:34,396 You're probably right, 544 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,965 I've never contributed much to anything. 545 00:22:38,008 --> 00:22:41,316 In L.A., I just got so sick of the money and... 546 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,405 and the waste next to the poverty and the suffering 547 00:22:43,449 --> 00:22:45,668 and-and the fucking cars puking out this shit. 548 00:22:45,712 --> 00:22:48,932 I thought if I don't... if I don't change the way I live, 549 00:22:48,976 --> 00:22:50,978 I'm gonna be the biggest hypocrite alive. 550 00:22:51,021 --> 00:22:54,155 -Well, that's admirable. -Yeah, I thoughtit was. 551 00:22:54,198 --> 00:22:57,419 "Be the change you want to see" and all that. 552 00:22:57,463 --> 00:22:58,942 But then I realized, no one is seeing this. 553 00:22:58,986 --> 00:23:00,901 No one gives a shit. I don't blog. 554 00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:02,946 I-I don't have kids to be an example to. 555 00:23:02,990 --> 00:23:05,558 I'm invisible, like all these homeless people in the park. 556 00:23:05,601 --> 00:23:07,255 Well, you do contribute, you know? 557 00:23:07,298 --> 00:23:09,083 You're-you're-you're... interesting, 558 00:23:09,126 --> 00:23:10,737 and you're... and you're troubled 559 00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:12,216 and you're-you're honest. 560 00:23:12,260 --> 00:23:13,653 You know, actually, I've really... 561 00:23:13,696 --> 00:23:15,611 I've enjoyed coming home to see you in the evenings, 562 00:23:15,655 --> 00:23:17,613 despite how it comes across, you know? 563 00:23:17,657 --> 00:23:20,224 I never know... what to expect with you. 564 00:23:20,268 --> 00:23:22,662 That's good. That's good for me. 565 00:23:31,801 --> 00:23:34,238 The truth is, I'm terrified of this. 566 00:23:36,153 --> 00:23:38,025 I don't know if I'm ready. 567 00:23:38,068 --> 00:23:40,157 I'm so... 568 00:23:40,201 --> 00:23:42,203 anal and-and neurotic. 569 00:23:42,246 --> 00:23:46,512 I can barely stand anybody in my house, never mind a baby. 570 00:23:46,555 --> 00:23:48,818 A baby? I don't know, I don't know. 571 00:23:52,518 --> 00:23:54,824 You better make up your mind, Tobin. 572 00:23:59,916 --> 00:24:01,744 Let's go home. 573 00:24:03,050 --> 00:24:04,443 Yeah? 574 00:24:06,314 --> 00:24:07,837 Fine. 575 00:24:09,926 --> 00:24:11,319 [clears throat softly] 576 00:24:11,362 --> 00:24:13,321 TOBIN: She's so tough 577 00:24:13,364 --> 00:24:16,019 and-and-and resilient and... 578 00:24:16,063 --> 00:24:17,804 But, you know, she lives how she feels. 579 00:24:17,847 --> 00:24:19,806 Well, I think 'cause she genuinely believes it, 580 00:24:19,849 --> 00:24:21,634 and she couldn't live any other way. 581 00:24:21,677 --> 00:24:24,550 That's ballsy, and that's what you want in a kid, isn't it? 582 00:24:24,593 --> 00:24:26,726 Yeah. Let's hope that part's in the genes. 583 00:24:26,769 --> 00:24:30,251 -Mm, just not the cooking. -Jesus. No, not the cooking. 584 00:24:30,294 --> 00:24:31,731 -TOBIN: All right. -ANDY: All right. 585 00:24:31,774 --> 00:24:33,602 I think sex with Mick might have induced me. 586 00:24:34,690 --> 00:24:36,431 What? 587 00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:39,173 Seriously, I think it's gonna happen early. 588 00:24:39,216 --> 00:24:40,957 -Okay, all right. -Okay. Let's go. 589 00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:42,524 -All right. -Okay, are you all right? 590 00:24:42,568 --> 00:24:44,439 -I know what to do. Bag. -Okay, that's all right. 591 00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:46,049 -TOBIN: Okay. -ANDY: I got the bag. 592 00:24:46,093 --> 00:24:47,616 -Do you have a bag? Do you? -I have a bag, yeah. 593 00:24:47,660 --> 00:24:49,009 -You have a bag. Is it... -I'll get the bag. 594 00:24:49,052 --> 00:24:50,401 -Where is it? -You just look out here! 595 00:24:50,445 --> 00:24:51,577 -Okay, okay. -We have to put some clothes on... 596 00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:53,796 I'll put it on when I get out on the street. 597 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:54,884 Come on. 598 00:24:54,928 --> 00:24:56,843 I... Oh! 599 00:24:56,886 --> 00:24:58,801 -All right... -Get a cab. 600 00:24:58,845 --> 00:24:59,889 -Okay. -Get-get a cab. 601 00:24:59,933 --> 00:25:02,152 -Hey! Hey! -Oh, my God. 602 00:25:03,327 --> 00:25:04,285 You okay? 603 00:25:04,328 --> 00:25:05,895 Ah. All right. 604 00:25:05,939 --> 00:25:08,202 -Thank you. -You get on this side. Come on. 605 00:25:08,245 --> 00:25:11,379 DOCTOR: Okay, these contractions are right on top of each other. 606 00:25:11,422 --> 00:25:13,990 This is your last chance for an epidural, Karla. 607 00:25:14,034 --> 00:25:16,515 Are you sure you don't want me to call the anesthesiologist? 608 00:25:16,558 --> 00:25:18,429 [straining]: No, I'm okay. Let's just keep going. 609 00:25:18,473 --> 00:25:20,519 Are you sure? I don't get it. It's just medicine. 610 00:25:20,562 --> 00:25:21,824 -[grunts] -You take antibiotics, 611 00:25:21,868 --> 00:25:23,391 don't you, when you... when you're sick, 612 00:25:23,434 --> 00:25:25,524 or penicillin, or aspirin when you get a headache? 613 00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:27,308 -Come on. -Because I want to experience it! 614 00:25:27,351 --> 00:25:29,832 I want to feel it! Fuck! Jesus fucking Christ! 615 00:25:29,876 --> 00:25:32,182 I don't want to talk about it, I just want to do it! 616 00:25:32,226 --> 00:25:33,793 All right, all right, all right, all right. 617 00:25:33,836 --> 00:25:37,971 -Okay. Okay. Okay, you got this. -[Karla groaning] 618 00:25:38,014 --> 00:25:40,669 Nine centimeters dilated. 619 00:25:40,713 --> 00:25:42,149 Sir, do you need a glass of water? 620 00:25:42,192 --> 00:25:44,978 No. No, no, I'm fine. I'm really good. 621 00:25:45,021 --> 00:25:47,415 -Oh... -Sir, please do not faint in my delivery suite. 622 00:25:47,458 --> 00:25:49,025 If you feel woozy, step outside. Okay? 623 00:25:49,069 --> 00:25:50,679 Both of you, please. 624 00:25:50,723 --> 00:25:52,638 You know, maybe I w-- I'm, I'll get some air. 625 00:25:52,681 --> 00:25:54,857 I'm-a get-- I'll get air. You guys got this. 626 00:25:54,901 --> 00:25:56,729 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got it, yeah, we'll see you later. 627 00:25:56,772 --> 00:25:58,600 -Okay. -Do you want to go, too? 628 00:25:58,644 --> 00:26:01,081 No. No. No. I'm not going anywhere. 629 00:26:01,124 --> 00:26:03,300 [grunts]: Oh, fuck! 630 00:26:03,344 --> 00:26:05,694 -[exhaling rapidly] -Tobin, stop. 631 00:26:05,738 --> 00:26:07,522 Okay, sorry. [exhaling rapidly] 632 00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:09,306 -Tobin, you're still doing it. -Sorry, right... 633 00:26:09,350 --> 00:26:10,873 -It's really, really annoying. -Yeah, yeah. I'll stop. 634 00:26:10,917 --> 00:26:12,614 -I can't concentrate. -All right, okay, got it... 635 00:26:12,658 --> 00:26:14,181 -Fuck. -[exhaling rapidly] 636 00:26:14,224 --> 00:26:15,486 Tobin, just move your fucking head away! 637 00:26:15,530 --> 00:26:17,140 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 638 00:26:17,184 --> 00:26:18,751 DOCTOR: Good, Karla, you're doing so great. 639 00:26:18,794 --> 00:26:20,970 Looking good. Okay, there's a head. 640 00:26:21,014 --> 00:26:23,059 -Do you want to look at this? -Yeah. 641 00:26:23,103 --> 00:26:25,061 DOCTOR: Okay, Karla, great. Great, great, great, great, great. 642 00:26:25,105 --> 00:26:26,715 You can do this, you can absolutely do this. 643 00:26:26,759 --> 00:26:28,587 I want you to give me a big push, come on. 644 00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:30,893 Take a deep breath and give me a good push, okay? 645 00:26:30,937 --> 00:26:32,895 -[Karla straining] -There you go, keep going, 646 00:26:32,939 --> 00:26:35,158 keep going, keep going, you got it, you got it, 647 00:26:35,202 --> 00:26:37,160 you got it, you got it, you got it! 648 00:26:37,204 --> 00:26:38,988 -Great, great, great. Keep going. -Oh, God! 649 00:26:39,032 --> 00:26:41,382 Okay, great! Great, great. 650 00:26:41,425 --> 00:26:44,385 [laughs]: Oh, my God. 651 00:26:44,428 --> 00:26:46,517 -[crying] -Well done, Karla. Good job. 652 00:26:46,561 --> 00:26:50,130 -[baby crying] -Oh, my God. 653 00:26:51,174 --> 00:26:53,655 Oh... 654 00:26:53,699 --> 00:26:55,483 [laughs]: Oh... 655 00:26:55,526 --> 00:26:58,704 -Oh, my God. -[Karla panting] 656 00:26:58,747 --> 00:27:00,706 [exhales] 657 00:27:08,801 --> 00:27:10,803 Well? 658 00:27:10,846 --> 00:27:12,413 Girl. 659 00:27:12,456 --> 00:27:15,634 -A girl? A girl? -[chuckles] 660 00:27:15,677 --> 00:27:17,810 Oh, that's fantastic. And she's good? 661 00:27:17,853 --> 00:27:19,725 -Oh, she's beautiful. -Five fingers, five toes, 662 00:27:19,768 --> 00:27:21,378 -all beautiful, all perfect? -All that, all that, yeah. 663 00:27:21,422 --> 00:27:23,337 Oh, my goodness. I can't believe this is happening. 664 00:27:23,380 --> 00:27:25,513 -Oh, my God. Right. -This is happening. 665 00:27:25,556 --> 00:27:26,949 -We're dads. -Uh-huh. 666 00:27:35,479 --> 00:27:39,092 They're just monitoring her for 24 hours and then she'll be out. 667 00:27:39,135 --> 00:27:41,660 We can all start taking care of her. 668 00:27:41,703 --> 00:27:43,444 -You were amazing. -Thank you. 669 00:27:43,487 --> 00:27:47,491 Like... amazing. 670 00:27:47,535 --> 00:27:49,537 How's Andy? 671 00:27:49,580 --> 00:27:52,018 We're giving him liquids, you know. He's stable. 672 00:27:52,061 --> 00:27:54,368 [chuckles] Funny. 673 00:27:54,411 --> 00:27:56,370 -I thought you'd be the fainter. -[laughs] 674 00:27:56,413 --> 00:27:59,939 -Yeah, so did I. -But you weren't. 675 00:27:59,982 --> 00:28:03,594 You stayed there and held my hand 676 00:28:03,638 --> 00:28:07,294 and helped clean up the blood and cut the cord. 677 00:28:07,337 --> 00:28:11,124 It was so amazing, seeing her head emerge, and... 678 00:28:11,167 --> 00:28:15,563 And I like that I was the first guy to see her. 679 00:28:15,606 --> 00:28:18,740 I-I can't wait to hold her. What was it like? 680 00:28:18,784 --> 00:28:20,960 It was beautiful. 681 00:28:21,003 --> 00:28:22,831 Can you take that hat off your head? 682 00:28:22,875 --> 00:28:26,966 -You look ridiculous. [laughs] -[chuckles]: I'm sorry. 683 00:28:27,009 --> 00:28:30,186 But yeah, it was beautiful. 684 00:28:30,230 --> 00:28:32,536 So have you thought about reconsidering the whole thing, 685 00:28:32,580 --> 00:28:33,973 since seeing her? 686 00:28:34,016 --> 00:28:36,236 Why, are you getting cold feet? 687 00:28:36,279 --> 00:28:38,934 No. No, the opposite. 688 00:28:38,978 --> 00:28:42,372 I want it now. I love her now. 689 00:28:42,416 --> 00:28:46,463 Just like that, so I can't imagine how you must be feeling. 690 00:28:46,507 --> 00:28:49,815 I'm just saying, if-if you've changed your mind, 691 00:28:49,858 --> 00:28:52,600 that is... i-is, I totally get it. 692 00:28:52,643 --> 00:28:56,038 We're just happy to, to get you here, you know? 693 00:28:58,345 --> 00:29:01,478 Yeah. Well, um... [clears throat] 694 00:29:01,522 --> 00:29:04,264 that's nice of you to offer. 695 00:29:06,309 --> 00:29:09,008 Yeah, I mean... 696 00:29:09,051 --> 00:29:14,013 Mine isa world of one. You were right about that. 697 00:29:14,056 --> 00:29:16,058 I do have issues. 698 00:29:16,102 --> 00:29:19,322 I will smoke skunk and sleep with guys I don't know. 699 00:29:19,366 --> 00:29:21,760 And I just don't know how to say no. 700 00:29:21,803 --> 00:29:25,285 I never have. If something comes my way, I just let it happen. 701 00:29:25,328 --> 00:29:29,071 And I love the road, I feel safe there, but... 702 00:29:29,115 --> 00:29:31,900 it's no place for a kid. 703 00:29:31,944 --> 00:29:37,079 And maybe being a mother will change me, but... 704 00:29:39,168 --> 00:29:43,346 I can't take that risk with her if it doesn't. 705 00:29:43,390 --> 00:29:45,392 I've been irresponsible my whole life. 706 00:29:45,435 --> 00:29:48,221 This is the first responsible thing that I've done. 707 00:29:51,702 --> 00:29:54,575 You know, I can't, I can't stand being around people 708 00:29:54,618 --> 00:29:58,622 for more than a few days, but... 709 00:29:58,666 --> 00:30:01,669 I forgot about that for the last few weeks... 710 00:30:04,106 --> 00:30:07,196 ...'cause you guys are the most amazing people in the world. 711 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,242 Yeah. 712 00:30:09,285 --> 00:30:11,679 You guys are gonna be the best parents ever. 713 00:30:14,900 --> 00:30:19,165 -Well... we'll try. -[chuckles softly] 714 00:30:19,208 --> 00:30:21,384 [sniffles] 715 00:30:21,428 --> 00:30:23,517 Thank you so much. 716 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:25,867 [crying] 717 00:30:25,911 --> 00:30:28,130 -[laughs] -[laughs]: Stop. 718 00:30:28,174 --> 00:30:30,916 My God... 719 00:30:43,929 --> 00:30:45,887 [baby fusses softly] 720 00:30:55,897 --> 00:30:57,856 [chair clatters softly] 721 00:31:06,777 --> 00:31:08,779 Hey. 722 00:31:12,740 --> 00:31:17,092 Uh, I want to tell you a story about your mom. 723 00:31:17,136 --> 00:31:20,835 And I'll tell you now, when you can't talk back, 724 00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:25,448 and you're not all... teenage and entitled, 725 00:31:25,492 --> 00:31:28,538 uh, and in case you don't get to see her 726 00:31:28,582 --> 00:31:31,280 as much as you want in life. 727 00:31:33,804 --> 00:31:36,938 Which would be a shame, because, I am telling you now, 728 00:31:36,982 --> 00:31:41,812 she is fucking... awesome. 729 00:31:41,856 --> 00:31:45,381 She carried you like a trooper, 730 00:31:45,425 --> 00:31:50,996 and she gave birth to you without one moment of fear. 731 00:31:53,128 --> 00:31:58,612 I know, um, you're gonna ask me about why-why she's not around. 732 00:32:00,701 --> 00:32:03,660 A long time ago, before there were cities, 733 00:32:03,704 --> 00:32:07,577 human beings used to constantly move. 734 00:32:07,621 --> 00:32:10,450 They were hunter-gatherers, and their lives were tough, 735 00:32:10,493 --> 00:32:14,671 and-and relentless, but they were also kind of free. 736 00:32:14,715 --> 00:32:17,587 Well, your mom is, 737 00:32:17,631 --> 00:32:20,851 is kind of like, like a hunter-gatherer, 738 00:32:20,895 --> 00:32:25,030 but a little bit born in the wrong time. 739 00:32:25,073 --> 00:32:27,771 So, she can't take you with her, 740 00:32:27,815 --> 00:32:31,819 because this society wouldn't support that. 741 00:32:31,862 --> 00:32:34,343 So you get to hang with us for a, for a while. 742 00:32:34,387 --> 00:32:39,131 Now, we're not hunter-gatherers, by any means. 743 00:32:39,174 --> 00:32:41,002 We're capitalists. 744 00:32:41,046 --> 00:32:45,224 We wouldn't survive a second in the wild because... 745 00:32:45,267 --> 00:32:49,532 there's no restaurants or Whole Foods, 746 00:32:49,576 --> 00:32:54,929 or therapists or hospitals for when you get sick 747 00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:58,541 or, um, books for you to read or movies for you to watch. 748 00:32:58,585 --> 00:33:01,196 Nothing. And we like those things, right? 749 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:05,853 So you stand to have a-a pretty good time with us, right? 750 00:33:05,896 --> 00:33:07,855 JUNE: Mybook. 751 00:33:07,898 --> 00:33:10,684 -Huh? -My book, Daddy, stop it. 752 00:33:10,727 --> 00:33:14,731 -Story time is for her, not you. -Sorry. 753 00:33:14,775 --> 00:33:16,472 But it's so good, right, June? 754 00:33:16,516 --> 00:33:19,084 -Yeah. -Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What was I saying? 755 00:33:19,127 --> 00:33:20,737 About cattle pips. 756 00:33:20,781 --> 00:33:24,350 [chuckles]: About... about... about capitalists. 757 00:33:24,393 --> 00:33:25,960 -Yes. About... -About capitalists. 758 00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:28,745 -[chuckles]: Capitalists, yeah. -That's nice. 759 00:33:28,789 --> 00:33:30,747 -I get ice cream? -Yeah, you do. 760 00:33:30,791 --> 00:33:32,401 And other people make the ice cream for us, 761 00:33:32,445 --> 00:33:34,099 which is great, right? 762 00:33:34,142 --> 00:33:35,665 -Mommy likes ice cream, too. -She does? 763 00:33:35,709 --> 00:33:38,233 Yeah, last time, we got two ice creams. 764 00:33:38,277 --> 00:33:40,192 She gave you...? Mommy gave you two ice creams? 765 00:33:40,235 --> 00:33:41,541 -Yeah. -Last time? Two? 766 00:33:41,584 --> 00:33:43,151 -Mm-hmm. -For such a young child? 767 00:33:43,195 --> 00:33:44,674 -[chuckles softly] Okay. -Okay. 768 00:33:44,718 --> 00:33:46,981 But ice cream's nice, right? 769 00:33:47,025 --> 00:33:48,852 Well, maybe not, maybe not two, 770 00:33:48,896 --> 00:33:51,681 but ice cream is okay, just not two. 771 00:33:51,725 --> 00:33:53,118 Lot of sugar. 772 00:33:53,161 --> 00:33:54,728 -Okay, we're gonna go to sleep? -Yeah. 773 00:33:54,771 --> 00:33:56,164 All right, go to sleep. 774 00:33:56,208 --> 00:33:58,253 Eyes closed. 775 00:33:58,297 --> 00:34:01,691 [whispers]: Begin sleeping. 776 00:34:01,735 --> 00:34:04,607 Okay, come on, close your eyes. 777 00:34:04,651 --> 00:34:06,044 [whispers]: Good girl. 778 00:34:06,087 --> 00:34:08,046 ♪ ♪ 779 00:34:13,312 --> 00:34:17,359 ♪ Will you stay in our lovers' story?♪ 780 00:34:17,403 --> 00:34:21,189 ♪ If you stay, you won't be sorry♪ 781 00:34:21,233 --> 00:34:25,063 ♪ 'Cause we believe in you♪ 782 00:34:25,106 --> 00:34:27,108 ♪ Soon you'll grow♪ 783 00:34:27,152 --> 00:34:30,764 ♪ So take a chance with a couple of kooks♪ 784 00:34:30,807 --> 00:34:34,463 ♪ Hung up on romancing♪ 785 00:34:34,507 --> 00:34:38,250 ♪ Will you stay in our lovers' story?♪ 786 00:34:38,293 --> 00:34:41,949 ♪ If you stay, you won't be sorry♪ 787 00:34:41,992 --> 00:34:45,779 ♪ 'Cause we believe in you♪ 788 00:34:45,822 --> 00:34:47,824 ♪ Soon you'll grow♪ 789 00:34:47,868 --> 00:34:51,872 ♪ So take a chance with a couple of kooks♪ 790 00:34:51,915 --> 00:34:55,310 ♪ Hung up on romancing♪ 791 00:34:58,705 --> 00:35:02,839 ♪ We bought a lot of things to keep you warm and dry♪ 792 00:35:02,883 --> 00:35:07,496 ♪ And a funny old crib on which the paint won't dry♪ 793 00:35:07,540 --> 00:35:11,457 ♪ We bought you a pair of shoes...♪