1 00:00:07,172 --> 00:00:10,586 [mellow music] 2 00:00:10,620 --> 00:00:13,034 - What are you going to do when we get to America? 3 00:00:13,068 --> 00:00:14,827 - I just want to find work quickly 4 00:00:14,862 --> 00:00:16,965 so I can send money home to my family. 5 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,103 What about you? 6 00:00:18,137 --> 00:00:20,862 - My husband has already been there for two years, 7 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,448 so I'm joining him. 8 00:00:22,482 --> 00:00:25,344 - How wonderful. What about you, Blanca? 9 00:00:25,379 --> 00:00:27,793 - It's very dangerous in my city now. 10 00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:29,862 I just want a safe place to live. 11 00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:32,379 - Oh. And you, stranger? 12 00:00:32,413 --> 00:00:35,379 [dark music] 13 00:00:35,413 --> 00:00:37,379 ♪ 14 00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,551 - I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, old man. 15 00:00:39,586 --> 00:00:42,620 As soon as I get to America, 16 00:00:42,655 --> 00:00:44,793 I'm going to commit 17 00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:46,862 massive vote fraud. 18 00:00:46,896 --> 00:00:48,413 That's right. 19 00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:50,517 I'm gonna get 3 million of my amigos together, 20 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:51,724 and we're just gonna do it. 21 00:00:51,758 --> 00:00:55,931 Then I'm gonna take jobs from hardworking Americans. 22 00:00:55,965 --> 00:00:59,172 Yes, first the farm jobs, then the factory jobs, 23 00:00:59,206 --> 00:01:00,620 and then fuck it, 24 00:01:00,655 --> 00:01:02,241 I'll get into a graduate program 25 00:01:02,275 --> 00:01:03,413 through affirmative action, 26 00:01:03,448 --> 00:01:04,931 and I'm gonna take the lawyer jobs 27 00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:08,275 and the doctor jobs and the aerospace engineer jobs. 28 00:01:08,310 --> 00:01:11,655 But then I'm gonna be too lazy to work. 29 00:01:11,689 --> 00:01:14,551 So I'm gonna live off the American taxpayer. 30 00:01:14,586 --> 00:01:16,862 - How does that make any sense? 31 00:01:16,896 --> 00:01:18,827 - Don't worry about it. 32 00:01:18,862 --> 00:01:24,931 And then I'm gonna join the ultraviolent gang, MS-15. 33 00:01:24,965 --> 00:01:27,655 - Isn't it MS-13? 34 00:01:27,689 --> 00:01:30,344 - No. No, this one's way more dangerous. 35 00:01:30,379 --> 00:01:32,310 2/15 more dangerous. 36 00:01:32,344 --> 00:01:34,275 Then I'm gonna sprinkle these gang members 37 00:01:34,310 --> 00:01:36,586 all over Iowa 38 00:01:36,620 --> 00:01:41,034 and get everybody addicted to ecstasies. 39 00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:42,896 - I don't think ecstasy is addictive. 40 00:01:42,931 --> 00:01:44,103 - It is the way I make it. 41 00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:45,793 Okay, I put heroin and stuff in it. 42 00:01:45,827 --> 00:01:47,655 I'm going become the Walter White 43 00:01:47,689 --> 00:01:49,827 of the Des Moines metropolitan area, 44 00:01:49,862 --> 00:01:53,068 and then I'm gonna graffiti all of their cheese shops. 45 00:01:53,103 --> 00:01:54,551 Oh, is that your store? I'm sorry. 46 00:01:54,586 --> 00:01:56,758 fuck your cheese shop! [laughs] 47 00:01:56,793 --> 00:01:58,275 They can't stop me. 48 00:01:58,310 --> 00:01:59,551 I'm gonna destroy their 49 00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:01,931 American way of life and culture. 50 00:02:01,965 --> 00:02:03,172 - You are crazy, man. 51 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,344 - Am I? Am I, old man? 52 00:02:05,379 --> 00:02:08,793 Admit it, you wanna do it too. 53 00:02:08,827 --> 00:02:12,482 You wanna get to America and burn it all to the ground. 54 00:02:12,517 --> 00:02:14,379 - No, I really don't. 55 00:02:14,413 --> 00:02:16,517 - I feel like you do. 56 00:02:16,551 --> 00:02:18,172 We could do it, you know? 57 00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:19,896 The 12 of us alone 58 00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:22,034 could destroy America! 59 00:02:22,068 --> 00:02:23,965 Who's with me? 60 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,413 Who's with me? 61 00:02:25,448 --> 00:02:26,862 [tires screech] 62 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:29,517 [groaning] 63 00:02:32,379 --> 00:02:35,344 [dark music] 64 00:02:35,379 --> 00:02:39,551 ♪ 65 00:02:39,586 --> 00:02:41,275 Hello, Mr. President. 66 00:02:41,310 --> 00:02:43,344 Yeah, they found me out again. 67 00:02:43,379 --> 00:02:46,034 Yeah, don't worry, next time I'll be a lot less subtle. 68 00:02:46,068 --> 00:02:48,517 Now could you please send a helicopter or something? 69 00:02:48,551 --> 00:02:50,206 I feel my makeup is starting to run, 70 00:02:50,241 --> 00:02:53,827 and these Mexicans are real, real scary. 71 00:02:53,862 --> 00:02:55,758 Okay, I'll just hide in the bushes, okay? 72 00:02:55,793 --> 00:02:58,862 I love you too. 73 00:02:58,896 --> 00:03:01,931 [upbeat music] 74 00:03:01,965 --> 00:03:08,896 ♪ 75 00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:17,034 - ♪ Time has us lose 76 00:03:17,068 --> 00:03:19,103 [doorbell chimes] 77 00:03:19,137 --> 00:03:24,275 ♪ Distant and strange 78 00:03:24,310 --> 00:03:26,793 - Alexa, stop the heartbreak mix. 79 00:03:29,137 --> 00:03:32,034 - Tia Celia, Tia Marta. 80 00:03:32,068 --> 00:03:33,103 What are you doing here? 81 00:03:33,137 --> 00:03:35,275 - Your mom told us about Renee. 82 00:03:35,310 --> 00:03:37,689 - Yeah, yeah, we broke up. 83 00:03:37,724 --> 00:03:38,931 Me and Renee, not me and my mom. 84 00:03:38,965 --> 00:03:40,275 Me and my mom are-- we're tight. 85 00:03:40,310 --> 00:03:42,241 - Your mom put out the Mom Signal 86 00:03:42,275 --> 00:03:43,896 and dispatched us. 87 00:03:43,931 --> 00:03:45,689 - We dropped everything and flew straight here from Miami. 88 00:03:45,724 --> 00:03:47,137 - Uh-huh. - Look, I appreciate you 89 00:03:47,172 --> 00:03:49,275 coming all this way, but I'm a grown man, 90 00:03:49,310 --> 00:03:51,551 and I do not need my mommy to send me and help. 91 00:03:51,586 --> 00:03:52,655 - So we're just supposed to leave? 92 00:03:52,689 --> 00:03:53,689 - No, I didn't say that. 93 00:03:53,724 --> 00:03:55,275 - You're just gonna disrespect your family 94 00:03:55,310 --> 00:03:56,758 and kick your tias to the curb? 95 00:03:56,793 --> 00:03:59,103 Like something spoiled in the refrigerator? 96 00:03:59,137 --> 00:04:01,482 Like two pieces of stale bread that you left in the cupboard? 97 00:04:01,517 --> 00:04:03,827 Like old papayas that you don't even remember you had there? 98 00:04:03,862 --> 00:04:06,241 - You already won the argument. You're inside the house. 99 00:04:06,275 --> 00:04:08,448 - Like a goat that's too big to keep in the barn. 100 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:12,137 [upbeat music] 101 00:04:12,172 --> 00:04:15,068 Oh, oh, your tia knows what you need. 102 00:04:15,103 --> 00:04:16,310 ♪ 103 00:04:16,344 --> 00:04:18,103 Tamale. 104 00:04:18,137 --> 00:04:20,172 The best cure for a broken heart. 105 00:04:20,206 --> 00:04:21,241 - I don't want a tamale. 106 00:04:21,275 --> 00:04:22,344 Do you know how many carbs are in that? 107 00:04:22,379 --> 00:04:24,586 - Ay, gordito.You're too skinny. 108 00:04:24,620 --> 00:04:26,137 - Stop calling me fatty then. 109 00:04:26,172 --> 00:04:27,551 That's the only reason I stopped eating tamales 110 00:04:27,586 --> 00:04:29,620 to begin with. - So who's this girl? 111 00:04:29,655 --> 00:04:31,551 - She's incredibly smart and incredibly beautiful, 112 00:04:31,586 --> 00:04:33,689 and I thought she was going to be the mother of my children. 113 00:04:33,724 --> 00:04:34,965 No big deal. 114 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,793 - Ay, mijo, don't let some girl make you sad. 115 00:04:36,827 --> 00:04:38,448 Come on, show me those dimples. 116 00:04:38,482 --> 00:04:39,689 - I don't want to. 117 00:04:39,724 --> 00:04:42,275 - I'm gonna come get those dimples! 118 00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:44,034 - No, stop, that hasn't worked since I'm five years old. 119 00:04:44,068 --> 00:04:45,310 Stop it. - I can see the dimples. 120 00:04:45,344 --> 00:04:46,482 - No, uh-uh. - You can't hide them. 121 00:04:46,517 --> 00:04:47,482 - Even if you're not smiling. 122 00:04:47,517 --> 00:04:48,689 - They're not there. I know my own dimples. 123 00:04:48,724 --> 00:04:50,448 Okay, stop treating me like a toddler. 124 00:04:50,482 --> 00:04:51,689 Please, it's not helping. 125 00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:52,965 - I know what you need. 126 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,586 - No, I don't want any Vicks VapoRub. 127 00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:55,620 - Just a little bit. 128 00:04:55,655 --> 00:04:56,793 - Look, I hate to break it to you, 129 00:04:56,827 --> 00:04:58,482 but Vicks VapoRub doesn't solve all problems. 130 00:04:58,517 --> 00:05:00,034 - It solves everything. 131 00:05:00,068 --> 00:05:02,275 You remember when your primo Juanito broke his leg 132 00:05:02,310 --> 00:05:04,000 from falling off that horse, huh? 133 00:05:04,034 --> 00:05:06,000 Un poquito VapoRub, he's fine now. 134 00:05:06,034 --> 00:05:07,206 - He still has a limp. 135 00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:08,517 - Just let me put a little bit on. 136 00:05:08,551 --> 00:05:10,137 - No, no, please, I don't want any fucking VapoRub. 137 00:05:10,172 --> 00:05:11,137 [both gasp] 138 00:05:11,172 --> 00:05:12,482 Okay, I'm sorry. No, no--I'm sorry. 139 00:05:12,517 --> 00:05:14,241 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please, please, look, look. 140 00:05:14,275 --> 00:05:15,275 I appreciate you trying to help, 141 00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:17,551 but I'm just having a little trouble 142 00:05:17,586 --> 00:05:19,000 looking forward to life without her, okay? 143 00:05:19,034 --> 00:05:20,896 So for now, I just want to be sad 144 00:05:20,931 --> 00:05:22,965 for maybe until I die I don't know. 145 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,034 - Nonsense. You're gonna go get dressed, 146 00:05:25,068 --> 00:05:27,793 we're gonna go out and we're gonna get facedshit. 147 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,344 - Do you mean shitfaced? 148 00:05:29,379 --> 00:05:30,862 - [gasps] - Why would you hit me with it? 149 00:05:30,896 --> 00:05:32,724 She said it first. She said it first. 150 00:05:32,758 --> 00:05:34,517 The sandalia is only for children. 151 00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,000 Now go get ready. 152 00:05:36,034 --> 00:05:37,689 - Please stop telling me what to do in my own house. 153 00:05:37,724 --> 00:05:39,689 - Go! - Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. 154 00:05:39,724 --> 00:05:42,517 [upbeat music] 155 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:45,620 [dramatic music] 156 00:05:45,655 --> 00:05:47,482 [crowd boos] 157 00:05:47,517 --> 00:05:50,827 - Ball four! 158 00:05:50,862 --> 00:05:51,896 - Hey, I'm sorry, man. 159 00:05:51,931 --> 00:05:53,172 I don't know what's wrong with me. 160 00:05:53,206 --> 00:05:54,724 I just can't get it over the plate. 161 00:05:54,758 --> 00:05:56,172 - It's okay, look-- - Oh, God. 162 00:05:56,206 --> 00:05:57,655 - Just--just forget about the crowd. 163 00:05:57,689 --> 00:05:59,827 All right, forget about the batter. 164 00:05:59,862 --> 00:06:02,068 Pretend I'm your dad or something. 165 00:06:02,103 --> 00:06:03,931 No pressure, all right? 166 00:06:03,965 --> 00:06:06,137 We're just playing catch in your backyard. 167 00:06:06,172 --> 00:06:08,620 - Okay, you're my dad. Got it, got it. 168 00:06:08,655 --> 00:06:11,241 That's good. Wait, wait, wait. 169 00:06:11,275 --> 00:06:12,620 - What's up? 170 00:06:12,655 --> 00:06:15,068 - Which backyard though? - Huh? 171 00:06:15,103 --> 00:06:16,827 - No, was it the one we lived in with my mom 172 00:06:16,862 --> 00:06:18,482 or, you know, the new place you got with-- 173 00:06:18,517 --> 00:06:19,931 with that woman Jessica? 174 00:06:19,965 --> 00:06:24,206 - It's, uh, wherever you feel more comfortable. 175 00:06:24,241 --> 00:06:26,103 - I just never saw his new place, you know? 176 00:06:26,137 --> 00:06:27,862 So I'm just gonna say it's my mom's backyard. 177 00:06:27,896 --> 00:06:29,137 Is that cool? - Yeah. 178 00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:30,137 All right, man. 179 00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:32,724 [organ music playing] 180 00:06:32,758 --> 00:06:36,896 [dramatic music] 181 00:06:36,931 --> 00:06:38,172 [crowd boos] 182 00:06:38,206 --> 00:06:40,103 - Dad? - Oh, no. 183 00:06:40,137 --> 00:06:42,448 - Wait? Wait? What are you doing here? 184 00:06:42,482 --> 00:06:44,448 - Is he talking to me? - No, he's not. 185 00:06:44,482 --> 00:06:47,344 He, uh-- - What are you doing here? 186 00:06:47,379 --> 00:06:50,275 - I'm...sorry. 187 00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,517 - You just show up out of the blue after all these years. 188 00:06:52,551 --> 00:06:53,965 You expect me to forgive you? 189 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,206 Where you been? No, I don't wanna talk to you. 190 00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:58,482 I'm my own man. - Okay. Hey, hey. 191 00:06:58,517 --> 00:07:00,448 It's the catcher talking. - Oh, hey, man. 192 00:07:00,482 --> 00:07:02,758 - This is not what I meant. - Oh. [chuckles] 193 00:07:02,793 --> 00:07:04,172 I'm sorry, man, I just picked this stage 194 00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:06,310 in our relationship where things were super complicated. 195 00:07:06,344 --> 00:07:07,413 - No more dad. 196 00:07:07,448 --> 00:07:09,827 You're just playing catch in your backyard 197 00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:11,620 with someone else. 198 00:07:11,655 --> 00:07:13,275 - Why would I play catch with someone else 199 00:07:13,310 --> 00:07:14,620 when my dad just came back, man? 200 00:07:14,655 --> 00:07:16,000 - Forget the dad thing. 201 00:07:16,034 --> 00:07:18,448 Just me, Jackson, you, Suarez, 202 00:07:18,482 --> 00:07:20,724 are playing catch in our backyard. 203 00:07:20,758 --> 00:07:22,862 - Okay, so we have a backyard together. 204 00:07:22,896 --> 00:07:25,862 So are we, like, roommates in this situation? 205 00:07:25,896 --> 00:07:27,206 'Cause I think that'd be really cool. 206 00:07:27,241 --> 00:07:28,655 - Whatever. - Great. 207 00:07:28,689 --> 00:07:30,517 Let's do this! Let's do this! 208 00:07:33,482 --> 00:07:35,482 Oh. 209 00:07:35,517 --> 00:07:37,413 - Oh, no. What's he doing? 210 00:07:37,448 --> 00:07:40,551 - Come here. 211 00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:43,793 Hey, man, can I tell you something roomie to roomie? 212 00:07:43,827 --> 00:07:46,344 I have had the wildest day today, man. 213 00:07:46,379 --> 00:07:47,586 I was at my mom's house, 214 00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:49,896 and then my dad shows up out of nowhere. 215 00:07:49,931 --> 00:07:51,551 Haven't seen him in years, and I'm just, like, 216 00:07:51,586 --> 00:07:54,344 really shook right now and I just wanted a friend, you know? 217 00:07:54,379 --> 00:07:56,655 - Seriously, forget that I ever said dad! 218 00:07:56,689 --> 00:07:59,448 Just pretend that you are a pitcher, 219 00:07:59,482 --> 00:08:03,448 I'm a catcher, and we're at a baseball game 220 00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:06,103 playing baseball. 221 00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:08,758 Your dad doesn't exist. Never existed. 222 00:08:08,793 --> 00:08:10,862 Just us at this game. 223 00:08:10,896 --> 00:08:12,827 Got it? - Yeah, yeah, I got it. 224 00:08:12,862 --> 00:08:14,413 - All right. - All right. 225 00:08:14,448 --> 00:08:15,896 [organ music playing] 226 00:08:15,931 --> 00:08:18,344 [exhales] 227 00:08:18,379 --> 00:08:21,310 [dramatic music] 228 00:08:21,344 --> 00:08:23,586 ♪ 229 00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:25,103 Oh. 230 00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:26,862 Oh, God. - What the hell was that? 231 00:08:26,896 --> 00:08:29,068 - My dad taught me how to pitch. 232 00:08:29,103 --> 00:08:31,862 If he doesn't exist-- 233 00:08:31,896 --> 00:08:33,551 oh, my God, I don't exist. 234 00:08:33,586 --> 00:08:36,379 Oh, my--I don't exist. 235 00:08:36,413 --> 00:08:38,000 Can you see me? 236 00:08:38,034 --> 00:08:40,931 Can you see me? Oh, my God, I don't exist. 237 00:08:40,965 --> 00:08:42,586 Oh, my God, I stopped existing, everybody. 238 00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:45,517 - Excuse me. I'm Ricky's dad. 239 00:08:45,551 --> 00:08:49,413 I'm here to tell Ricky that I'm sorry and that I love him. 240 00:08:49,448 --> 00:08:52,206 - I don't exist! 241 00:08:52,241 --> 00:08:53,965 I don't exist! 242 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,275 - Is that him? - Yep. 243 00:08:56,310 --> 00:08:58,724 - Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm nothing. 244 00:08:58,758 --> 00:09:01,000 - I wasn't here. - I'm nothing! 245 00:09:01,034 --> 00:09:03,206 He doesn't exist! I don't exist! 246 00:09:03,241 --> 00:09:04,586 Ahh! 247 00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:06,862 [upbeat music] 248 00:09:09,413 --> 00:09:13,206 [upbeat music] 249 00:09:13,241 --> 00:09:16,206 [Latin dance music] 250 00:09:16,241 --> 00:09:17,482 ♪ 251 00:09:17,517 --> 00:09:20,689 - And then I signed us up for pottery class together. 252 00:09:20,724 --> 00:09:24,310 Do you know how sad it is to cancel pottery class? 253 00:09:24,344 --> 00:09:27,965 - This story is boring! - Ouch. 254 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,344 - Let's dance! - I don't wanna dance, tia. 255 00:09:30,379 --> 00:09:32,896 - Hey-hey, hey-hey. Look at this, look at this. 256 00:09:32,931 --> 00:09:34,379 Come on. - I don't want to. 257 00:09:34,413 --> 00:09:35,551 - Let's go, get into it, get into it. 258 00:09:35,586 --> 00:09:37,172 Come on, come on, come on. - All right, okay, fine. 259 00:09:37,206 --> 00:09:38,827 - [laughing] 260 00:09:38,862 --> 00:09:40,448 Come on. 261 00:09:40,482 --> 00:09:42,793 ♪ 262 00:09:42,827 --> 00:09:44,724 You're still a really bad dancer. 263 00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:47,034 - I'm not bad. I'm misunderstood. 264 00:09:47,068 --> 00:09:50,655 [vocalizing] 265 00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:53,689 - Aunt Celia, stop it! 266 00:09:53,724 --> 00:09:55,620 Get away from that man! 267 00:09:55,655 --> 00:09:58,172 - This is some good shit! 268 00:09:58,206 --> 00:09:59,724 Really. Ha! 269 00:09:59,758 --> 00:10:02,137 - Okay, we're good, big guy. Thank you. 270 00:10:02,172 --> 00:10:03,655 Vamonos - Que pasó? 271 00:10:03,689 --> 00:10:05,379 - Vamonos. Excuse us, please. 272 00:10:05,413 --> 00:10:06,448 Excuse us. 273 00:10:06,482 --> 00:10:07,758 - Arturo. 274 00:10:07,793 --> 00:10:09,724 - Marta, she was smoking weed back there. 275 00:10:09,758 --> 00:10:11,793 - Look who I met at the bar. 276 00:10:11,827 --> 00:10:14,896 This is Isabella. She's Colombian. 277 00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:17,517 - You two should dance together. 278 00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:20,482 - Or, you know, just talk or something. 279 00:10:20,517 --> 00:10:23,862 - Don't dance. - Okay, we get it. 280 00:10:23,896 --> 00:10:26,724 I'm so sorry. They're really drunk. 281 00:10:26,758 --> 00:10:28,379 - That's okay. They're cute. 282 00:10:28,413 --> 00:10:29,793 - Yeah, they're great. 283 00:10:29,827 --> 00:10:32,655 - So do you want to dance? 284 00:10:32,689 --> 00:10:35,793 ♪ 285 00:10:35,827 --> 00:10:39,724 - No! No, no! 286 00:10:39,758 --> 00:10:41,793 Can we please leave? - Why? 287 00:10:41,827 --> 00:10:43,931 - There's Renee, and she's with some other guy. 288 00:10:43,965 --> 00:10:45,137 - Another Latino? 289 00:10:45,172 --> 00:10:46,689 - Yeah, she has a very specific type. 290 00:10:46,724 --> 00:10:49,137 - Don't worry, mijo, I think I can get that bitch from here. 291 00:10:49,172 --> 00:10:52,551 - No, no, no, no, no. I just want to go, okay? 292 00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:53,965 Tia Celia! 293 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,620 Stop making out with weed guy! 294 00:10:56,655 --> 00:10:58,724 Can you put her leg down at least? 295 00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:01,689 [upbeat music] 296 00:11:01,724 --> 00:11:03,482 [applause] 297 00:11:07,517 --> 00:11:10,103 - Mr. Secretary, my fellow delegates, 298 00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:12,068 on behalf of the Guatemalan people, 299 00:11:12,103 --> 00:11:14,965 I would like to say how proud I am of all of us 300 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,448 for reaching today's historic trade agreements, 301 00:11:18,482 --> 00:11:21,586 as well as renewing our pact against nuclear weapons, 302 00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:26,344 and of course, the unilateral climate change accords. 303 00:11:26,379 --> 00:11:27,689 Well done. 304 00:11:27,724 --> 00:11:29,655 [applause] 305 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,827 To celebrate this momentous occasion of solidarity 306 00:11:32,862 --> 00:11:35,482 between our nations, I would like to propose 307 00:11:35,517 --> 00:11:37,827 we toast with some rum. 308 00:11:37,862 --> 00:11:41,517 The best in the world from Guatemala. 309 00:11:41,551 --> 00:11:43,137 Cheers to all of you. 310 00:11:43,172 --> 00:11:44,620 [tepid applause] 311 00:11:44,655 --> 00:11:46,931 - If I may, a point of order, Mr. Secretary. 312 00:11:46,965 --> 00:11:48,413 We would also like to acknowledge 313 00:11:48,448 --> 00:11:49,965 the historic nature of this accord, 314 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,931 and in addition we would like to let the record show 315 00:11:52,965 --> 00:11:56,620 that Guatemalan rum is not the best rum in the world. 316 00:11:56,655 --> 00:11:59,551 Everyone knows that Venezuelan rum 317 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:02,586 is in fact the best. 318 00:12:02,620 --> 00:12:05,551 - The Guatemalan nation finds itself in total shock 319 00:12:05,586 --> 00:12:07,034 that Venezuela even has a rum. 320 00:12:07,068 --> 00:12:08,448 [laughter] 321 00:12:08,482 --> 00:12:11,344 - Thank you, representative of Venezuela. 322 00:12:11,379 --> 00:12:13,965 The chair will take that under consideration, 323 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,655 but I remind my colleagues that this committee 324 00:12:16,689 --> 00:12:19,931 considers any rum distilled outside of Mexico 325 00:12:19,965 --> 00:12:22,206 to be wannabe poser horseshit. 326 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,275 [all clamoring] 327 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,275 Order, order, settle down everyone. 328 00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:28,103 Yes, yes, Representative Perez from Nicaragua. 329 00:12:28,137 --> 00:12:30,965 I yield the floor. - Thank you, Mr. Secretary. 330 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,517 Nicaragua would like to add 331 00:12:33,551 --> 00:12:36,620 that our rum is the best. 332 00:12:36,655 --> 00:12:38,517 Pardon me. 333 00:12:38,551 --> 00:12:41,413 And you can all go fuck yourselves. 334 00:12:41,448 --> 00:12:42,724 [all clamoring] 335 00:12:42,758 --> 00:12:46,103 Excuse me, I'm sorry. I spoke out of turn. 336 00:12:46,137 --> 00:12:48,000 You can all go fuck your mothers. 337 00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:51,275 [all clamoring] 338 00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:52,827 - Please, please, please, please. 339 00:12:52,862 --> 00:12:55,172 I would like to remind my fellow representatives 340 00:12:55,206 --> 00:12:58,793 that, one, we have more that unites us than divides us. 341 00:12:58,827 --> 00:13:01,413 From our rich culture and history, 342 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,896 to our common goals for the future. 343 00:13:03,931 --> 00:13:05,241 - Hear, hear. 344 00:13:05,275 --> 00:13:07,206 [applause] 345 00:13:07,241 --> 00:13:08,310 - And number two, 346 00:13:08,344 --> 00:13:11,689 that Nicaraguan rum tastes like hot piss. 347 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:13,931 - I agree. - It just does, I'm sorry. 348 00:13:13,965 --> 00:13:15,758 - Excuse me, Mr. Secretary. 349 00:13:15,793 --> 00:13:17,758 We would like the record to show 350 00:13:17,793 --> 00:13:20,931 that it seems that the representative from Guatemala 351 00:13:20,965 --> 00:13:23,103 has drank hot piss before. 352 00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:24,620 all: Ooh. 353 00:13:24,655 --> 00:13:27,551 - Well, yes, when the only other option is Nicaraguan rum. 354 00:13:27,586 --> 00:13:29,758 - Ooh. [laughter] 355 00:13:29,793 --> 00:13:31,586 - Please, gentlemen, let us not forget 356 00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:34,275 the important work we have done here today. 357 00:13:34,310 --> 00:13:36,448 - On that topic, Mr. Secretary, 358 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,862 Costa Rica would like to withdraw our yes vote 359 00:13:39,896 --> 00:13:42,206 on the peace accords on the grounds 360 00:13:42,241 --> 00:13:46,137 that our rum is made from only the finest sugar cane 361 00:13:46,172 --> 00:13:49,000 grown in our country's rich, organic soil. 362 00:13:49,034 --> 00:13:50,965 - Point of order, the Guatemalan delegation 363 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,448 would like to add, big fucking deal, same here. 364 00:13:53,482 --> 00:13:55,172 You think you're the only one with volcanoes? 365 00:13:55,206 --> 00:13:56,965 Anybody not have volcanoes here? 366 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,620 Raise your hand. Nobody. 367 00:13:58,655 --> 00:14:00,517 - We all use sugar cane, you fucking idiot. 368 00:14:00,551 --> 00:14:03,482 - Barbados would like to settle this matter conclusively 369 00:14:03,517 --> 00:14:05,793 by reminding the council 370 00:14:05,827 --> 00:14:08,896 our nation is the birthplace of rum 371 00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,000 and also Rihanna. 372 00:14:10,034 --> 00:14:12,586 - Of course, of course. Of course. 373 00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:14,517 - Let the record show that I would like to have 374 00:14:14,551 --> 00:14:17,620 one summit where the representative from Barbados 375 00:14:17,655 --> 00:14:19,137 does not mention Rihanna. 376 00:14:19,172 --> 00:14:21,241 - Please, let it also be recorded, 377 00:14:21,275 --> 00:14:23,413 if someone even half as hot as Rihanna 378 00:14:23,448 --> 00:14:25,275 were born in your country, 379 00:14:25,310 --> 00:14:28,103 you would bring it up every single goddamn sentence, 380 00:14:28,137 --> 00:14:29,758 you stupid, jealous motherfuckers. 381 00:14:29,793 --> 00:14:31,344 [all clamoring] 382 00:14:31,379 --> 00:14:33,517 Don't you come at me, Ecuador. 383 00:14:33,551 --> 00:14:35,793 - Settle down, settle down, everyone. 384 00:14:35,827 --> 00:14:38,793 I think the only reasonable thing to be done 385 00:14:38,827 --> 00:14:41,172 is to nullify today's agreement 386 00:14:41,206 --> 00:14:43,241 and postpone these talks indefinitely. 387 00:14:43,275 --> 00:14:44,379 - Agreed. 388 00:14:44,413 --> 00:14:46,586 - I now call for a break so I can use the restroom 389 00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:50,275 and take a nice, long Nicaraguan rum. 390 00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:51,620 [all clamoring] 391 00:14:51,655 --> 00:14:53,172 - I told you it tastes like piss. 392 00:14:53,206 --> 00:14:54,241 I told you it tastes like piss. 393 00:14:54,275 --> 00:14:55,965 Fuck your climate change accords. 394 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,517 I like climate change. 395 00:14:57,551 --> 00:14:59,241 I don't want to be cold. 396 00:14:59,275 --> 00:15:01,379 Let's get the fuck outta here. 397 00:15:01,413 --> 00:15:03,689 [upbeat music] 398 00:15:06,241 --> 00:15:09,206 [upbeat music] 399 00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:10,241 ♪ 400 00:15:10,275 --> 00:15:12,620 - I told you I wasn't ready to go out. 401 00:15:12,655 --> 00:15:14,896 All right, you know, I'm just gonna sleep here, 402 00:15:14,931 --> 00:15:16,896 and I hope I never wake up, I'll tell you that. 403 00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:18,206 - Sobrino, enough of this moping. 404 00:15:18,241 --> 00:15:20,689 So she's out with some new guy. Who cares? 405 00:15:20,724 --> 00:15:22,034 - Look at me. 406 00:15:22,068 --> 00:15:24,310 That's all I do, I care. All right? 407 00:15:24,344 --> 00:15:26,689 And I can mope if I want to. 408 00:15:26,724 --> 00:15:29,034 I am of legal moping age. 409 00:15:29,068 --> 00:15:32,103 I'll get over this by myself. You're not helping. 410 00:15:32,137 --> 00:15:34,896 All right? - Oh, fine. 411 00:15:34,931 --> 00:15:37,379 Give up. 412 00:15:37,413 --> 00:15:40,620 "I'm Arturo. I'm so depressed." 413 00:15:40,655 --> 00:15:41,724 - That's not nice. 414 00:15:41,758 --> 00:15:43,103 - "Renee, I loved you so much, 415 00:15:43,137 --> 00:15:45,206 even though we only dated for three months." 416 00:15:45,241 --> 00:15:46,482 - Three and a half. 417 00:15:46,517 --> 00:15:49,448 - "I'm gonna shrivel up and die over a girl I barely knew. 418 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:52,827 Oh, boo-hoo, my dimples are gone forever." 419 00:15:52,862 --> 00:15:54,896 Ah! Did I just see a dimple? 420 00:15:54,931 --> 00:15:56,034 - Nope. Uh-uh. - It's a dimple! 421 00:15:56,068 --> 00:15:59,448 - Two dimples! Ah, you see! 422 00:15:59,482 --> 00:16:02,655 The spirit of the dimples can't be crushed. 423 00:16:02,689 --> 00:16:03,862 Hello, dimples. 424 00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:06,103 - Hola. 425 00:16:06,137 --> 00:16:09,034 So are there any tamales left or... 426 00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:11,620 - Oh, now you want a tamale? 427 00:16:11,655 --> 00:16:13,034 - Yes, I do. I'm very hungry. 428 00:16:13,068 --> 00:16:16,206 - Sorry, those tamales are only for little baby boys. 429 00:16:16,241 --> 00:16:19,586 - "I'm Arturo. I eat fancy cheese. 430 00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:22,655 I live in Brooklyn." - I don't sound like that. 431 00:16:22,689 --> 00:16:24,000 - Brooklyn, Brooklyn, Brooklyn. 432 00:16:24,034 --> 00:16:25,965 Fancy cheese and white wine. 433 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,103 - What is this? 434 00:16:27,137 --> 00:16:29,137 - "Look at me, I don't eat carbs." 435 00:16:29,172 --> 00:16:33,068 - I just want a fucking tamale. 436 00:16:33,103 --> 00:16:35,206 - This time you're getting the shoe. 437 00:16:35,241 --> 00:16:36,517 - You'll give me a tamale first though. 438 00:16:36,551 --> 00:16:37,965 - Get over here! Get over here! 439 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,137 [all shouting] Get over here! 440 00:16:40,172 --> 00:16:43,137 [upbeat music] 441 00:16:43,172 --> 00:16:45,482 ♪ 442 00:16:45,517 --> 00:16:48,482 [cheerful music] 443 00:16:48,517 --> 00:16:53,448 ♪ 444 00:16:53,482 --> 00:16:55,517 - Hi, it's Sydney. - And Carissa. 445 00:16:55,551 --> 00:16:57,931 - Nina, I've known you for almost a decade now, 446 00:16:57,965 --> 00:17:00,689 and I couldn't imagine a more perfect guy for you than David. 447 00:17:00,724 --> 00:17:03,068 - And I will never forget your guys' first date. 448 00:17:03,103 --> 00:17:04,862 Nina came home that night. - Mm-hmm. 449 00:17:04,896 --> 00:17:06,896 - And she was skipping and she said, 450 00:17:06,931 --> 00:17:08,379 "I just met the one." 451 00:17:08,413 --> 00:17:10,793 - Hi, guys, it's Jecca! 452 00:17:10,827 --> 00:17:12,724 It's like Jessica and Becca combined. 453 00:17:12,758 --> 00:17:14,172 Don't worry about it. 454 00:17:14,206 --> 00:17:15,655 So me and the whole bridal party 455 00:17:15,689 --> 00:17:18,448 were roommates freshman year, and everyone said 456 00:17:18,482 --> 00:17:21,241 I was gonna be the first one to get married, 457 00:17:21,275 --> 00:17:23,379 and now I'm the only one who's not married. 458 00:17:23,413 --> 00:17:27,103 [chuckles sadly] Just crazy. 459 00:17:27,137 --> 00:17:28,758 It's crazy. 460 00:17:28,793 --> 00:17:30,206 [upbeat music] 461 00:17:30,241 --> 00:17:32,206 - Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome for the first time 462 00:17:32,241 --> 00:17:35,965 as husband and wife, Mr. and Mrs. Cohen-Smith. 463 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,000 [cheers and applause] 464 00:17:47,137 --> 00:17:50,034 - Love you, B. Love you. 465 00:17:50,068 --> 00:17:51,551 - Congratulations. 466 00:17:51,586 --> 00:17:53,586 - Bartender, more red wine. 467 00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:55,896 ♪ 468 00:17:55,931 --> 00:17:57,586 - You did it, David. Finally did it. 469 00:17:57,620 --> 00:17:59,310 - A toast to finding your soul mate. 470 00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:01,655 - Cheers. - Oh, fuck that. 471 00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:05,034 Weddings are bullshit. Fuck it. 472 00:18:05,068 --> 00:18:06,172 - We don't-- 473 00:18:06,206 --> 00:18:07,862 - No, but not you, Nina and David. 474 00:18:07,896 --> 00:18:11,103 I love you guys. Whoo! 475 00:18:11,137 --> 00:18:12,448 [belches] 476 00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:13,896 - And that's when I knew 477 00:18:13,931 --> 00:18:16,448 that David wasn't just a keeper. 478 00:18:16,482 --> 00:18:18,827 He was your keeper, and you were just-- 479 00:18:18,862 --> 00:18:22,103 - Oh, my God, bitch, boring. 480 00:18:22,137 --> 00:18:23,620 Hey. 481 00:18:23,655 --> 00:18:28,137 Everybody--oh, hey, bitch! 482 00:18:28,172 --> 00:18:31,241 I'm sorry, but she has no charisma. 483 00:18:31,275 --> 00:18:32,758 Or tits, am I right? 484 00:18:32,793 --> 00:18:34,482 No, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 485 00:18:34,517 --> 00:18:36,000 That was too much. I'm sorry, I'll calm down. 486 00:18:36,034 --> 00:18:37,965 I'm sorry, I'll calm down. Okay. 487 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,827 Just kidding! [all gasp] 488 00:18:41,862 --> 00:18:43,310 Okay, get back here. 489 00:18:43,344 --> 00:18:45,448 I'm not done, I'm not-- Did I say I was done? 490 00:18:45,482 --> 00:18:47,827 - ♪ In a world that... 491 00:18:47,862 --> 00:18:51,620 - To get to see my grandbaby so happy, 492 00:18:51,655 --> 00:18:54,275 it's the most wonderful-- 493 00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:58,379 - Jesus! - Hey, bitch! 494 00:18:58,413 --> 00:19:01,655 I fucked her grandson in college once. 495 00:19:01,689 --> 00:19:03,862 But shh. 496 00:19:03,896 --> 00:19:06,137 What, bitch? I said "shh." 497 00:19:06,172 --> 00:19:09,137 ["Hava Nagila" plays] 498 00:19:09,172 --> 00:19:11,724 ♪ 499 00:19:11,758 --> 00:19:13,517 - Wait! 500 00:19:13,551 --> 00:19:17,482 Hey, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, wait. 501 00:19:17,517 --> 00:19:19,586 Do me first. Do me first. 502 00:19:19,620 --> 00:19:21,551 [all gasp, chattering] 503 00:19:21,586 --> 00:19:23,862 [humming "Hava Nagila"] - Shh, shh, shh. 504 00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:27,103 - Hey! It's so fun! Jewish people, I like you. 505 00:19:27,137 --> 00:19:28,448 - Oh, my God. 506 00:19:28,482 --> 00:19:30,448 - My daddy was wrong about you guys. 507 00:19:30,482 --> 00:19:32,379 - Is everyone ready? 508 00:19:32,413 --> 00:19:34,758 Okay, here we go. 509 00:19:34,793 --> 00:19:39,310 One, two, three! 510 00:19:44,103 --> 00:19:45,655 - Bitch! 511 00:19:45,689 --> 00:19:47,068 - ♪ The rest of my life 512 00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:50,896 - All right, newlyweds, go ahead and cut the cake. 513 00:19:50,931 --> 00:19:52,068 - [gasps] 514 00:19:52,103 --> 00:19:58,241 ♪ 515 00:19:58,275 --> 00:20:00,896 - Happy fucking birthday, you guys. 516 00:20:03,655 --> 00:20:05,586 - Please tell me you have other footage. 517 00:20:05,620 --> 00:20:09,551 - Well, not without her in it. 518 00:20:09,586 --> 00:20:12,724 - Hey, bitch! 519 00:20:12,758 --> 00:20:14,551 We're engaged. 520 00:20:14,586 --> 00:20:17,241 We'd invite you, but it's like a super small wedding. 521 00:20:17,275 --> 00:20:18,758 You know? 522 00:20:18,793 --> 00:20:21,000 Bye, bitch! 523 00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:26,655 - We met at your wedding. 524 00:20:26,689 --> 00:20:28,758 [upbeat music] 525 00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:35,448 [upbeat music] 526 00:20:35,482 --> 00:20:36,586 - So you got everything? 527 00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:38,586 - Yes, towels are in the dryer. 528 00:20:38,620 --> 00:20:41,241 Leftovers in the fridge with some instructions, got it. 529 00:20:41,275 --> 00:20:43,103 - And if you need anything else, we're here. 530 00:20:43,137 --> 00:20:44,517 - You know, you didn't have to come all this way 531 00:20:44,551 --> 00:20:45,655 and get off work. 532 00:20:45,689 --> 00:20:46,758 You know, you could have just called me. 533 00:20:46,793 --> 00:20:48,206 - Of course we had to come. 534 00:20:48,241 --> 00:20:51,275 - When family needs something, you go, end of story. 535 00:20:51,310 --> 00:20:52,689 - Gracias. 536 00:20:52,724 --> 00:20:55,689 - Love you. - I love you. 537 00:20:55,724 --> 00:20:56,793 Bye, tia. 538 00:20:56,827 --> 00:20:58,965 - Gordito. - Bye. 539 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,344 Okay, safe trip. Bye, bye. 540 00:21:00,379 --> 00:21:02,482 - Bye. - Okay? 541 00:21:02,517 --> 00:21:04,758 - Later. - Oh, yeah, bye, weed guy. 542 00:21:04,793 --> 00:21:06,206 Take care. 543 00:21:06,241 --> 00:21:08,827 [upbeat music]