1 00:00:07,517 --> 00:00:08,827 - That's why I'm really into microbrews, you know? 2 00:00:08,862 --> 00:00:11,103 - What's up, dude? - Oh, let me get you a chair. 3 00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:13,517 - And he's doing, like, actual shots. 4 00:00:13,551 --> 00:00:15,482 - Sorry, can I take this chair, guys? 5 00:00:15,517 --> 00:00:17,862 - No problemo, amigo. 6 00:00:17,896 --> 00:00:19,827 So he's, like, ripping these shots, and we're like, 7 00:00:19,862 --> 00:00:21,310 "Yeah, go for it, man," like, "You're the man." 8 00:00:21,344 --> 00:00:25,551 And we're totally fine, so then eventually... 9 00:00:25,586 --> 00:00:26,655 - Nope. - Like, this, 10 00:00:26,689 --> 00:00:27,620 whatever you, like, make a cast out of-- 11 00:00:27,655 --> 00:00:30,689 - [speaking Spanish] 12 00:00:46,103 --> 00:00:47,517 Ahh, okay. 13 00:01:07,379 --> 00:01:08,620 - [speaking Spanish] 14 00:01:30,310 --> 00:01:33,103 - I know that feel, brah. 15 00:01:35,344 --> 00:01:36,724 - Hola. 16 00:01:38,344 --> 00:01:39,896 - Oh, fuck. Okay. 17 00:01:47,172 --> 00:01:48,379 - Ha-ha. 18 00:01:50,206 --> 00:01:51,586 - That worked. It was funny. 19 00:02:03,655 --> 00:02:06,413 - No problemo, amigo. 20 00:02:06,448 --> 00:02:08,896 Pew-pew, pew-pew. 21 00:02:08,931 --> 00:02:10,448 Pshew-pew-pew. 22 00:02:10,482 --> 00:02:12,413 You--you can keep the chair. 23 00:02:12,448 --> 00:02:13,517 Sorry about your mom. 24 00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:14,724 That sucks. 25 00:02:14,758 --> 00:02:16,758 Okay, bye. Thank you. 26 00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,793 Yeah, you can stand. 27 00:02:21,827 --> 00:02:24,793 [cool percussive music] 28 00:02:24,827 --> 00:02:31,862 ♪ 29 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,517 Hey, do you know Vanessa's Dumplings? 30 00:02:35,551 --> 00:02:37,827 - Yeah, I love Vanessa's Dumplings. 31 00:02:37,862 --> 00:02:39,793 - I love Vanessa's Dumplings. - What? 32 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,275 - Yeah. - Oh, my gosh. 33 00:02:41,310 --> 00:02:44,862 - Wow, Imagine Dragons, Crème de la Mer, 34 00:02:44,896 --> 00:02:46,448 any movie with John Leguizamo. I mean-- 35 00:02:46,482 --> 00:02:48,034 - Including "Spawn." - Thank you. 36 00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:49,068 - Yes. 37 00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:50,275 - You really check all the boxes. 38 00:02:50,310 --> 00:02:51,275 - You know, I think we might have 39 00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:52,827 another thing in common too. 40 00:02:52,862 --> 00:02:55,275 - You take off all your clothes to go number two as well? 41 00:02:55,310 --> 00:02:56,896 - Mm. 42 00:02:59,689 --> 00:03:00,827 - You meant kissing. - Yeah. 43 00:03:00,862 --> 00:03:01,862 - Cool. Yeah, me too. 44 00:03:01,896 --> 00:03:03,000 [laughter] 45 00:03:03,034 --> 00:03:04,517 All right. 46 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:07,551 Honest hour, Tina, I've met a lot of people in my life, 47 00:03:07,586 --> 00:03:09,827 you know, good people, like, sturdy people, 48 00:03:09,862 --> 00:03:11,137 - Mm. 49 00:03:11,172 --> 00:03:12,724 - I've never felt such an immediate connection 50 00:03:12,758 --> 00:03:14,965 with somebody, especially after four dates. 51 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,103 - Aww. 52 00:03:16,137 --> 00:03:17,172 - Not to be weird about it, 53 00:03:17,206 --> 00:03:19,793 but the sex, it's so intimate... 54 00:03:19,827 --> 00:03:21,620 - [laughs] - So much eye contact. 55 00:03:21,655 --> 00:03:25,482 - Yeah, you know, you can blink. 56 00:03:25,517 --> 00:03:27,517 - Good to know. Good to know, yeah. 57 00:03:27,551 --> 00:03:29,206 - Hey, I'm gonna take a shower... 58 00:03:29,241 --> 00:03:30,965 - All right. - And you can make yourself 59 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,000 at home. - Oh, cool. 60 00:03:34,034 --> 00:03:35,068 - Bye. - See ya. 61 00:03:38,275 --> 00:03:41,000 [door closes] 62 00:03:44,620 --> 00:03:47,758 - Ooh, bitchin' place. 63 00:03:47,793 --> 00:03:50,310 Oh, yes. 64 00:03:51,931 --> 00:03:53,620 Man, I love hats. 65 00:03:56,482 --> 00:03:59,275 You wascally wabbit. [laughs] 66 00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:01,068 Oh, yeah. 67 00:04:01,103 --> 00:04:04,068 Okay. 68 00:04:04,103 --> 00:04:06,172 I am the captain now. [laughs] 69 00:04:06,206 --> 00:04:10,068 You jokester. 70 00:04:10,103 --> 00:04:11,724 Play ball. [laughs] 71 00:04:11,758 --> 00:04:14,827 [dramatic music] 72 00:04:14,862 --> 00:04:18,517 Oh, God, no. No, nope. No, no. 73 00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:19,896 Oh, no. 74 00:04:19,931 --> 00:04:21,862 Oh, God, no. 75 00:04:21,896 --> 00:04:23,448 Yes, please. 76 00:04:23,482 --> 00:04:24,896 No. 77 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,034 I'm dating a Republican? 78 00:04:27,068 --> 00:04:28,068 God. 79 00:04:28,103 --> 00:04:32,103 No! 80 00:04:32,137 --> 00:04:33,896 Okay, how did I miss that? 81 00:04:33,931 --> 00:04:37,448 [cool percussive music] 82 00:04:37,482 --> 00:04:40,448 [gentle piano music] 83 00:04:40,482 --> 00:04:43,068 - When Mateo Cruz was diagnosed at the age of two 84 00:04:43,103 --> 00:04:44,689 with a rare blood disease, 85 00:04:44,724 --> 00:04:48,206 doctors said he wouldn't make it to his fifth birthday. 86 00:04:48,241 --> 00:04:49,862 - All right, blow out the candles, buddy. 87 00:04:49,896 --> 00:04:53,655 - And yet here the miraculous Mateo is six years later. 88 00:04:53,689 --> 00:04:55,655 - Look at those lungs. - Nice job. 89 00:04:55,689 --> 00:04:58,344 - When we heard Mateo's amazing story, 90 00:04:58,379 --> 00:05:01,793 we knew we wanted to make his biggest dream come true. 91 00:05:01,827 --> 00:05:03,793 And he knew his wish right away. 92 00:05:03,827 --> 00:05:05,517 He didn't even have to think. 93 00:05:05,551 --> 00:05:10,689 - My wish is that I don't want to meet Macklemore. 94 00:05:10,724 --> 00:05:13,448 - Family and friends were immediately touched 95 00:05:13,482 --> 00:05:15,241 by Mateo's dream. 96 00:05:15,275 --> 00:05:16,482 I mean, what can I say? 97 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:18,137 Our little guy just can't stand Macklemore. 98 00:05:18,172 --> 00:05:20,620 And it's not just his music either. 99 00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:23,758 As Mateo would say, you know... 100 00:05:23,793 --> 00:05:25,793 he just hates the guy's whole vibe. 101 00:05:25,827 --> 00:05:28,034 - I don't like his songs, 102 00:05:28,068 --> 00:05:30,758 and I don't think I would like him as a person. 103 00:05:30,793 --> 00:05:33,241 I don't ever want to meet him. - Okay, champ. 104 00:05:33,275 --> 00:05:35,000 They're gonna see what they can do, okay? 105 00:05:35,034 --> 00:05:36,448 No promises. 106 00:05:36,482 --> 00:05:37,793 - When we heard the wish, 107 00:05:37,827 --> 00:05:39,586 we weren't sure it would be possible. 108 00:05:39,620 --> 00:05:42,000 Macklemore seems like a pretty nice guy. 109 00:05:42,034 --> 00:05:44,724 And surprising sick kids at a hospital seems like 110 00:05:44,758 --> 00:05:46,586 something he'd want to do. 111 00:05:46,620 --> 00:05:49,000 - We were just hoping and praying that when he saw 112 00:05:49,034 --> 00:05:52,931 just how little his music meant to our son, he'd understand. 113 00:05:52,965 --> 00:05:55,931 [gentle music] 114 00:05:55,965 --> 00:05:57,758 ♪ 115 00:05:57,793 --> 00:05:59,620 - That's me. 116 00:05:59,655 --> 00:06:00,965 That's my dad. 117 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,517 That's my mom. 118 00:06:02,551 --> 00:06:04,827 And there's no Macklemore. 119 00:06:04,862 --> 00:06:06,724 - I'll never forget that night in the hospital. 120 00:06:06,758 --> 00:06:09,689 Mateo must have been five, I think. [sniffles] 121 00:06:09,724 --> 00:06:12,068 We were watching TV, and he's like, "Daddy, who's that?" 122 00:06:12,103 --> 00:06:14,206 And I said, "Son, that's Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. 123 00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,137 That have a song called "Thrift Shop." 124 00:06:16,172 --> 00:06:20,482 He just goes, "No, no, no, no, no." 125 00:06:20,517 --> 00:06:23,793 He looked like he was gonna be sick. 126 00:06:23,827 --> 00:06:26,689 I mean, sicker than he already was. 127 00:06:26,724 --> 00:06:28,827 - That's great. That's really good. 128 00:06:28,862 --> 00:06:32,862 It was so inspiring to see the whole town come together 129 00:06:32,896 --> 00:06:35,206 to help make Mateo's wish come true. 130 00:06:35,241 --> 00:06:37,896 When all this started, I said to him, "You do know 131 00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:40,517 "nobody would ever make you meet Macklemore, right? 132 00:06:40,551 --> 00:06:42,724 He's not even that big right now." 133 00:06:42,758 --> 00:06:45,241 And he was like, "I just want to play it safe. 134 00:06:45,275 --> 00:06:46,896 I want a guarantee." 135 00:06:46,931 --> 00:06:49,172 - And we were like, "You know, you can have whatever you want. 136 00:06:49,206 --> 00:06:51,827 "You know, if you wanted to live in Disneyland for a month, 137 00:06:51,862 --> 00:06:53,206 "they could probably make that happen. 138 00:06:53,241 --> 00:06:56,068 And you would still probably never meet Macklemore." 139 00:06:56,103 --> 00:07:00,655 But then he said, "Dad, what if Macklemore is at Disneyland?" 140 00:07:00,689 --> 00:07:04,689 And you know what? I-I hadn't thought of that. 141 00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:06,482 - After weeks of calling, 142 00:07:06,517 --> 00:07:10,137 Katherine finally connects with Macklemore's managers. 143 00:07:10,172 --> 00:07:14,862 - Yep, just don't visit him and don't surprise him. 144 00:07:14,896 --> 00:07:16,068 Yep, that's all. 145 00:07:18,724 --> 00:07:20,310 Thank you so much. 146 00:07:20,344 --> 00:07:21,896 Okay. 147 00:07:23,931 --> 00:07:25,172 He's not coming. 148 00:07:25,206 --> 00:07:29,000 - Okay, buddy, time to take off that blindfold, okay? 149 00:07:34,379 --> 00:07:35,862 - He's not here. 150 00:07:35,896 --> 00:07:38,206 He's really not here. 151 00:07:38,241 --> 00:07:40,275 - Macklemore is never coming, honey, 152 00:07:40,310 --> 00:07:44,241 not now, not later, never. 153 00:07:44,275 --> 00:07:46,137 [applause] 154 00:07:46,172 --> 00:07:47,896 - And that's when I realized that all the other kids 155 00:07:47,931 --> 00:07:49,965 have it wrong by wishing for vacations 156 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,689 or a ticket to a big game. 157 00:07:51,724 --> 00:07:54,241 When your one wish is to never meet Macklemore, 158 00:07:54,275 --> 00:07:58,034 every day that you don't meet Macklemore feels like a gift. 159 00:07:58,068 --> 00:08:01,965 ♪ 160 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,275 - You know, this is an especially difficult job 161 00:08:04,310 --> 00:08:08,448 for me, because I actually kind of like Macklemore. 162 00:08:08,482 --> 00:08:09,862 ♪ Downtown 163 00:08:09,896 --> 00:08:11,793 - Aah! - Ooh, I'm sorry, kiddo. 164 00:08:11,827 --> 00:08:14,000 I thought you were asleep. - Just let me die. 165 00:08:14,034 --> 00:08:16,413 [cool percussive music] 166 00:08:19,206 --> 00:08:22,793 [cool percussive music] 167 00:08:22,827 --> 00:08:25,413 - What are you doing? You can't date a Republican. 168 00:08:25,448 --> 00:08:27,758 - I know, but Tina's amazing, man. 169 00:08:27,793 --> 00:08:29,344 I don't know what to do. - Easy. 170 00:08:29,379 --> 00:08:31,206 You push her down a well, and you say it was an accident. 171 00:08:31,241 --> 00:08:32,620 - Really, Jen, a well? 172 00:08:32,655 --> 00:08:33,862 - Yeah, there's one in Queens. 173 00:08:33,896 --> 00:08:36,000 - Whoa, guys, murder's bad. 174 00:08:36,034 --> 00:08:37,379 - It's a shallow well. 175 00:08:37,413 --> 00:08:38,620 - We should be trying to understand people 176 00:08:38,655 --> 00:08:39,931 who disagree with us, 177 00:08:39,965 --> 00:08:42,068 like people who believe the Earth is round. 178 00:08:42,103 --> 00:08:43,724 - Listen, this is not a big deal, all right? 179 00:08:43,758 --> 00:08:45,241 New York is a melting pot. 180 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:48,206 For example, I once dated a girl from Mongolia, same thing. 181 00:08:48,241 --> 00:08:50,103 - Mm. - That's not the same thing. 182 00:08:50,137 --> 00:08:52,275 - She was one of the top models in Ulaanbaatar. 183 00:08:52,310 --> 00:08:54,137 - Okay, so you're not helping. You're just bragging. 184 00:08:54,172 --> 00:08:55,965 - You want to see a picture? - No. 185 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,586 Maybe... later. 186 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,724 - Tracy's single, if you want me to set you guys up instead. 187 00:08:59,758 --> 00:09:01,689 - Chris, please stop trying to hook me up with your sister. 188 00:09:01,724 --> 00:09:04,655 - We could be brother-in-laws. - I know. 189 00:09:04,689 --> 00:09:07,448 - How can you even date a Republican, like, legally? 190 00:09:07,482 --> 00:09:08,793 - Tina's cool, okay? 191 00:09:08,827 --> 00:09:10,310 And I haven't felt this way about a girl 192 00:09:10,344 --> 00:09:12,000 in a really long time. 193 00:09:12,034 --> 00:09:14,103 And honest hour, the sex is incredible. 194 00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:15,137 - Ooh, Tracy likes sex. 195 00:09:15,172 --> 00:09:17,482 - Chris, seriously? 196 00:09:17,517 --> 00:09:19,655 - What does a Republican puss even look like? 197 00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:21,965 Is it mean, like a frown? 198 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,793 [gasps] Is there a wall around it? 199 00:09:23,827 --> 00:09:26,068 - Stop it. - Just be careful, Arturo. 200 00:09:26,103 --> 00:09:28,068 Because beliefs can be sexually transmitted. 201 00:09:28,103 --> 00:09:29,172 - Stop it, Jen. 202 00:09:29,206 --> 00:09:30,620 There are good people on both sides. 203 00:09:30,655 --> 00:09:32,448 - See? See? It's happening. - Ooh. 204 00:09:32,482 --> 00:09:34,000 - It's happening. - Ooh. 205 00:09:34,034 --> 00:09:35,931 - Now, can we get back to her puss? 206 00:09:35,965 --> 00:09:37,068 Are there guns in there? 207 00:09:37,103 --> 00:09:38,482 - I like her. I can't help it. 208 00:09:38,517 --> 00:09:40,586 - Listen, man, just let it go, don't bring up politics. 209 00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:41,931 You'll be cool. - No, no. 210 00:09:41,965 --> 00:09:43,275 I have to be honest with her. 211 00:09:43,310 --> 00:09:45,482 I at least have to try to bridge the gap, you know? 212 00:09:45,517 --> 00:09:46,724 And since it's the only advice 213 00:09:46,758 --> 00:09:48,068 that none of you have mentioned, 214 00:09:48,103 --> 00:09:50,000 I think it's the right one, right? 215 00:09:51,965 --> 00:09:54,000 What are we shucking all this corn for? 216 00:09:54,034 --> 00:09:55,827 - I thought this was your corn. - It's not my corn. 217 00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,000 - It's not mine. 218 00:09:57,034 --> 00:09:58,482 - Whose corn is this? 219 00:10:00,482 --> 00:10:03,137 - Oh, yeah, it is my corn. 220 00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:08,448 [cool percussive music] 221 00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:09,862 [upbeat guitar music] 222 00:10:09,896 --> 00:10:12,000 - Okay, everybody, the tamales are ready. 223 00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:13,310 Come and get them, okay? 224 00:10:13,344 --> 00:10:14,793 Just serve yourselves. - Mamá. 225 00:10:14,827 --> 00:10:16,344 - Ay, mi'jo. Hola. 226 00:10:16,379 --> 00:10:17,931 Un poco tarde, ¿no? 227 00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:19,620 - Oh, sorry. Sofia and I are late. 228 00:10:19,655 --> 00:10:21,896 - Oh, it's okay, mi'jo. I know it's not your fault. 229 00:10:21,931 --> 00:10:23,758 Sofia, hola. 230 00:10:23,793 --> 00:10:25,172 - ¿Cómo está? 231 00:10:25,206 --> 00:10:27,137 - My future daughter-in-law. 232 00:10:27,172 --> 00:10:28,551 Which is crazy. 233 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:31,137 [laughter] 234 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,137 What is this? 235 00:10:32,172 --> 00:10:34,413 - Oh, I brought tamales. 236 00:10:34,448 --> 00:10:36,137 [all gasp] 237 00:10:36,172 --> 00:10:37,965 - Tamales. 238 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,275 Interesting choice. 239 00:10:39,310 --> 00:10:41,758 - Yes, it's my abuela's recipe. 240 00:10:41,793 --> 00:10:43,068 - I thought you were bringing cookies. 241 00:10:43,103 --> 00:10:44,758 I thought she was bringing cookies, Mom. 242 00:10:44,793 --> 00:10:46,448 - Well, I decided to make tamales instead. 243 00:10:46,482 --> 00:10:48,275 - I thought I told you, my mom makes the tamales. 244 00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:50,551 - We're just gonna have more tamales, then. 245 00:10:50,586 --> 00:10:53,517 [Latin-tinged guitar music] 246 00:10:53,551 --> 00:10:56,827 ♪ 247 00:10:56,862 --> 00:10:57,965 - It's okay, mi'jo. 248 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,310 I'm sure her tamales are made with love... 249 00:11:00,344 --> 00:11:03,172 just like my tamales are made with so much love. 250 00:11:03,206 --> 00:11:04,862 - Oh, Mama Garcia, 251 00:11:04,896 --> 00:11:07,551 my tamales are made with the most love. 252 00:11:07,586 --> 00:11:09,241 - Mi'ja, would you like to put them down? 253 00:11:09,275 --> 00:11:12,413 - I would love to. - You can put them right here. 254 00:11:12,448 --> 00:11:13,551 Here you go. 255 00:11:13,586 --> 00:11:15,965 ♪ 256 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,827 [sniffs] Mmm, they smell so-- 257 00:11:18,862 --> 00:11:20,310 ¿Cómo se dice"trying too hard"? 258 00:11:20,344 --> 00:11:21,551 Así se dice. 259 00:11:21,586 --> 00:11:23,310 Sí, that's how you say it. 260 00:11:23,344 --> 00:11:26,310 - And yours, they look so tightly wound, 261 00:11:26,344 --> 00:11:27,724 suffocating even. 262 00:11:27,758 --> 00:11:29,344 - Pedro, are you ready for a tamale? 263 00:11:29,379 --> 00:11:31,655 - Yes, Pedro, have one. 264 00:11:31,689 --> 00:11:34,310 - I--oh, I--oh, I'm not actually hungry, so... 265 00:11:34,344 --> 00:11:35,655 - No, you said that you were starving. 266 00:11:35,689 --> 00:11:36,655 - I had some chips in the house. 267 00:11:36,689 --> 00:11:38,000 [stomach rumbling] 268 00:11:38,034 --> 00:11:39,793 - Ay, mi gordito, I can hearyour stomach rumbling. 269 00:11:39,827 --> 00:11:42,896 Just choose one. - Yes, choose. 270 00:11:42,931 --> 00:11:44,344 - There's no wrong choice. 271 00:11:44,379 --> 00:11:48,931 Just pick whichever one you want to eat. 272 00:11:48,965 --> 00:11:51,206 ♪ 273 00:11:51,241 --> 00:11:54,827 - Hey, everybody, I brought tamales. 274 00:11:54,862 --> 00:11:57,068 No, I did not. Good-bye. 275 00:11:57,103 --> 00:11:58,689 - I carried you for nine long months, mi'jo, 276 00:11:58,724 --> 00:12:00,172 fed you from my own bosom. 277 00:12:00,206 --> 00:12:02,241 - I've been engaged to you for nine long months, mi amor, 278 00:12:02,275 --> 00:12:04,137 shown you my own bosoms. 279 00:12:04,172 --> 00:12:05,793 - Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? 280 00:12:05,827 --> 00:12:08,413 - Just your son. - I will fucking end you. 281 00:12:08,448 --> 00:12:11,241 - Please, you're not helping! Do you mind? 282 00:12:11,275 --> 00:12:12,241 - Choose, Pedro. 283 00:12:12,275 --> 00:12:13,620 - Choose. - Choose. 284 00:12:13,655 --> 00:12:15,344 - You must choose now. - Choose with your heart. 285 00:12:15,379 --> 00:12:16,586 - Choose. - Choose. 286 00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:19,068 - [screams] 287 00:12:19,103 --> 00:12:22,206 [all screaming] 288 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,758 - Mi'jo, ¿qué estás haciendo? 289 00:12:24,793 --> 00:12:27,586 - [slurring] I burned off my taste buds. 290 00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:30,206 Now I can't taste anything. 291 00:12:30,241 --> 00:12:32,068 You can't make me choose. 292 00:12:32,103 --> 00:12:34,965 - Mi'jo, that was so exaggerated. 293 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,586 - I-I-I'm a little overwhelmed by this, right? 294 00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:39,310 - We are bonding right here. 295 00:12:39,344 --> 00:12:40,965 - We're having a moment. We're having a nice time. 296 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,103 And then you mess it up. 297 00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,965 - Disgusting. You know what? Embarrassing. 298 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,448 I'm sorry. Are you okay? 299 00:12:45,482 --> 00:12:47,103 - I don't think so. 300 00:12:47,137 --> 00:12:48,655 - I am so very sorry. 301 00:12:48,689 --> 00:12:49,965 Here come--come with me. - Pedro... 302 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,931 - I'm so sorry. Have you met my other son, mi'ja? 303 00:12:51,965 --> 00:12:53,310 - The one who's not a little bitch? 304 00:12:53,344 --> 00:12:55,000 - Yes, that's the one. He's so cool. 305 00:12:55,034 --> 00:12:57,586 - Can someone take me to the hospital? 306 00:12:57,620 --> 00:12:58,931 [kids giggling] 307 00:12:58,965 --> 00:13:00,275 Mom! 308 00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:03,068 [cool percussive music] 309 00:13:05,586 --> 00:13:08,931 [cool percussive music] 310 00:13:08,965 --> 00:13:10,793 - So it's all out in the open. Good. 311 00:13:10,827 --> 00:13:12,172 We don't agree politically, 312 00:13:12,206 --> 00:13:13,620 but we still like each other, right? 313 00:13:13,655 --> 00:13:16,172 - Yeah, and I-I guess I can't say I'm surprised, 314 00:13:16,206 --> 00:13:17,689 given your, um-- 315 00:13:17,724 --> 00:13:18,793 - Absolutely everything about me. 316 00:13:18,827 --> 00:13:20,241 - Yep. - Yeah, I know. 317 00:13:20,275 --> 00:13:21,379 But nothing has to be different. 318 00:13:21,413 --> 00:13:23,724 We can still talk about anything. 319 00:13:23,758 --> 00:13:26,275 Um, I don't know, like, the weather. 320 00:13:26,310 --> 00:13:28,275 Today was freezing. - Freezing. 321 00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:29,413 - I know. - Yeah. 322 00:13:29,448 --> 00:13:30,827 So much for global warming. 323 00:13:30,862 --> 00:13:32,103 [laughter] 324 00:13:32,137 --> 00:13:33,379 - Mm-mm. - Oh, no. 325 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:34,862 - Mm, weather is out. 326 00:13:34,896 --> 00:13:36,448 - Um... 327 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,034 - Sports. - Yeah. 328 00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,379 - How about football? Do you like football? 329 00:13:39,413 --> 00:13:40,620 - Yes, I do. - Oh, awesome. 330 00:13:40,655 --> 00:13:42,275 - Well, I did. I stopped watching 331 00:13:42,310 --> 00:13:44,137 once they started kneeling during the anthem. 332 00:13:44,172 --> 00:13:46,241 - Movies. Movies are good. - Great. 333 00:13:46,275 --> 00:13:48,655 - I'll tell you, I just saw "Rudy" for the first time. 334 00:13:48,689 --> 00:13:50,206 - [gasps] - I know. It's so sweet. 335 00:13:50,241 --> 00:13:51,724 - The documentary about Rudy Giuliani. 336 00:13:51,758 --> 00:13:53,965 - Nope, not that one. 337 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,275 I would not watch that one. 338 00:13:55,310 --> 00:13:57,068 - Okay, I-I don't know about this. 339 00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,517 - No, no, no, stop. We can do this, all right? 340 00:13:59,551 --> 00:14:01,137 Look, do we agree politically? 341 00:14:01,172 --> 00:14:02,758 No. 342 00:14:02,793 --> 00:14:04,655 But are we still people with the ability to love 343 00:14:04,689 --> 00:14:06,241 and talk to each other? Yeah. 344 00:14:06,275 --> 00:14:07,551 - Yeah. 345 00:14:07,586 --> 00:14:09,310 - So maybe we focus on the commonalities 346 00:14:09,344 --> 00:14:11,551 that bring us together, you know, 347 00:14:11,586 --> 00:14:15,310 the Imagine Dragons or the John Leguizamos 348 00:14:15,344 --> 00:14:17,827 or the Crème de la Mers, right? 349 00:14:17,862 --> 00:14:21,137 - I think we should break up. 350 00:14:21,172 --> 00:14:22,551 - I get it. 351 00:14:22,586 --> 00:14:24,344 'Cause I refuse to give up my progressive values. 352 00:14:24,379 --> 00:14:27,137 - Nope, because of your eye contact in bed. 353 00:14:27,172 --> 00:14:28,620 - Excuse me? 354 00:14:28,655 --> 00:14:31,034 - I haven't seen you blink once during sex. 355 00:14:31,068 --> 00:14:32,965 And it's like I'm banging Chucky. 356 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,517 - Chuck E. Cheese? 357 00:14:34,551 --> 00:14:37,103 - No, the murder doll. 358 00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:38,379 - Ouch. 359 00:14:38,413 --> 00:14:40,034 - Good-bye, Arturo. 360 00:14:46,413 --> 00:14:48,965 - I was gonna break up with her first. 361 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:53,448 She's a loser. I'm a winner. Sad. 362 00:14:53,482 --> 00:14:55,379 Oh, God. 363 00:14:55,413 --> 00:14:58,827 [cool percussive music] 364 00:14:58,862 --> 00:15:01,896 [eerie piano music] 365 00:15:01,931 --> 00:15:04,103 ♪ 366 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,137 - Oh, my God. [radio static crackles] 367 00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:08,103 We found the crash site of the rugby team. 368 00:15:08,137 --> 00:15:09,379 There are survivors. 369 00:15:09,413 --> 00:15:12,965 Assessing the damage. We'll send coordinates. 370 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,793 - Hello, men. 371 00:15:14,827 --> 00:15:16,275 I'm rescue worker Smith. 372 00:15:16,310 --> 00:15:17,517 This is rescue worker Ruiz. 373 00:15:17,551 --> 00:15:18,655 - Hey. 374 00:15:18,689 --> 00:15:20,103 - We're gonna get you off this mountain. 375 00:15:20,137 --> 00:15:22,379 Now, we need to assess the situation. 376 00:15:22,413 --> 00:15:25,517 I can see that not all of you are here. 377 00:15:25,551 --> 00:15:27,413 And since you've been missing for over three months 378 00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:30,344 without any food, we assume that, to survive, 379 00:15:30,379 --> 00:15:33,103 you had to resort to some extraordinary measures. 380 00:15:33,137 --> 00:15:35,000 - Yeah, it's true. 381 00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:40,000 - Tell me, did you survive because you ate... 382 00:15:40,034 --> 00:15:43,344 - The plane, yeah. 383 00:15:43,379 --> 00:15:44,517 - What? 384 00:15:44,551 --> 00:15:46,034 - In order to survive, we ate the plane. 385 00:15:46,068 --> 00:15:48,034 - No way. - It's true. 386 00:15:48,068 --> 00:15:50,448 - You ate the plane you went down in. 387 00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:52,344 - Well, we didn't see any other plane up here. 388 00:15:52,379 --> 00:15:54,172 [laughter] 389 00:15:54,206 --> 00:15:55,379 - Yeah, we just had the one, Smith. 390 00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:57,206 - Was it good? - Tina, don't--this is not-- 391 00:15:57,241 --> 00:15:58,482 - What, I... 392 00:15:58,517 --> 00:16:00,758 - No. No, it wasn't good. - It was pretty bland. 393 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,310 - So you ate the wings? 394 00:16:02,344 --> 00:16:03,758 - Yeah. 395 00:16:03,793 --> 00:16:04,758 - You ate the seats? 396 00:16:04,793 --> 00:16:06,206 - Oh, yeah. 397 00:16:06,241 --> 00:16:08,103 - You ate the oil and the gas? 398 00:16:08,137 --> 00:16:09,931 - Well, we drank it. 399 00:16:09,965 --> 00:16:12,000 - You can't eat a liquid. [laughter] 400 00:16:12,034 --> 00:16:13,620 - Well, that's what I meant. Thank you. 401 00:16:13,655 --> 00:16:14,724 - Yeah, you didn't say that. 402 00:16:14,758 --> 00:16:16,172 - What about the in-flight meals? 403 00:16:16,206 --> 00:16:17,931 - We tried them, but they tasted terrible. 404 00:16:17,965 --> 00:16:19,827 - Really disgusting, really disgusting. 405 00:16:19,862 --> 00:16:21,551 - All right, do you guys know where we can find 406 00:16:21,586 --> 00:16:22,827 the black box? 407 00:16:22,862 --> 00:16:25,344 - [inhales sharply] Ooh, anybody else want to tell him? 408 00:16:25,379 --> 00:16:26,586 - Okay, I'll go. We ate it. 409 00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:27,655 - Are you serious? 410 00:16:27,689 --> 00:16:28,758 - It's the best part of the plane. 411 00:16:28,793 --> 00:16:30,000 It's, like, the heart meat. 412 00:16:30,034 --> 00:16:31,241 - That was a good day. - That was Thanksgiving. 413 00:16:31,275 --> 00:16:32,655 - Oh, that's right, yeah. - Yeah. 414 00:16:32,689 --> 00:16:33,965 - Okay, there are more important things 415 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,000 to discuss right now. 416 00:16:35,034 --> 00:16:36,206 - Are there? 417 00:16:36,241 --> 00:16:39,758 - Are any of you hurt? - Um, I have a stomachache. 418 00:16:39,793 --> 00:16:41,275 But that might just be from eating the plane. 419 00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:43,000 - Yeah, that's what it is. - If I had to guess. 420 00:16:43,034 --> 00:16:44,137 - Yeah, definitely. 421 00:16:44,172 --> 00:16:45,413 - If you didn't eat any of the people, 422 00:16:45,448 --> 00:16:46,793 where are the rest of the passengers? 423 00:16:46,827 --> 00:16:48,241 - Oh, they went down the mountain. 424 00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:49,310 They didn't want to eat the plane. 425 00:16:49,344 --> 00:16:50,620 - Why didn't you guys go with them? 426 00:16:50,655 --> 00:16:52,896 - We were eating the plane. 427 00:16:52,931 --> 00:16:54,758 - Hey, have you seen my walkie-talkie? 428 00:16:54,793 --> 00:16:57,413 - [crunching] - It was right here. 429 00:16:57,448 --> 00:16:59,344 - Seriously? 430 00:16:59,379 --> 00:17:01,103 - The plane was better. 431 00:17:01,137 --> 00:17:03,344 The plane was better. - Yeah, figured as much. 432 00:17:03,379 --> 00:17:05,000 - Now, for dessert, does anybody have any gas 433 00:17:05,034 --> 00:17:06,034 or oil I could eat? 434 00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:07,896 [laughter] 435 00:17:07,931 --> 00:17:10,448 I got you. - Smith. 436 00:17:10,482 --> 00:17:12,689 [cool percussive music] 437 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,344 [cool percussive music] 438 00:17:17,379 --> 00:17:21,724 ♪ 439 00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:23,482 - I'm sorry it didn't work out with Tina, man. 440 00:17:23,517 --> 00:17:25,068 I know you liked her. - Thanks, man. 441 00:17:25,103 --> 00:17:26,482 I think she's still thinking about me. 442 00:17:26,517 --> 00:17:27,551 [chuckles] - Shut up. 443 00:17:27,586 --> 00:17:28,862 - Yeah, she wrote this Facebook post about me 444 00:17:28,896 --> 00:17:30,275 that's sort of going viral. 445 00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:33,793 - Let me see. Let me see. 446 00:17:33,827 --> 00:17:36,068 "I recently found out I was dating a liberal. 447 00:17:36,103 --> 00:17:38,827 "It ended poorly, but Arturo did extend an olive branch 448 00:17:38,862 --> 00:17:40,275 "and acknowledged my humanity. 449 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,620 "So, honest hour, 450 00:17:41,655 --> 00:17:44,310 an unbearable expression he used three times per day." 451 00:17:44,344 --> 00:17:45,310 - You can skip that part. 452 00:17:45,344 --> 00:17:46,655 - You do say that a lot, though. 453 00:17:46,689 --> 00:17:47,862 - Can you please skip it? 454 00:17:47,896 --> 00:17:49,206 - Um, "I learned not all liberals are baby-killing, 455 00:17:49,241 --> 00:17:50,862 tree-hugging Jew-funded commies." 456 00:17:50,896 --> 00:17:52,034 - Just go to the end. 457 00:17:52,068 --> 00:17:53,758 - "So let's raise a glass of liberal tears to you. 458 00:17:53,793 --> 00:17:54,862 Thanks, Arturo." 459 00:17:54,896 --> 00:17:56,862 - That's the one. Isn't that sweet? 460 00:17:56,896 --> 00:17:57,862 - Sweet. 461 00:17:57,896 --> 00:17:58,862 - Ah. - Oh. 462 00:17:58,896 --> 00:17:59,965 These comments are pretty interesting. 463 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,448 "Arturo just border-jumped into my heart. 464 00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,068 - Conflicting, that one. 465 00:18:04,103 --> 00:18:05,931 - This one just says "#BringBackRoseanne." 466 00:18:05,965 --> 00:18:07,241 - I agree. 467 00:18:07,275 --> 00:18:08,517 - "Arturo's one of the good ones"... 468 00:18:08,551 --> 00:18:09,551 - [laughs] 469 00:18:09,586 --> 00:18:11,068 - "But we should still build a wall." 470 00:18:11,103 --> 00:18:12,379 Oh, here's a good one. 471 00:18:12,413 --> 00:18:15,034 "Arturo is the new poster boy for humanizing Republicans." 472 00:18:15,068 --> 00:18:17,103 - Yeah, there's that. - Which is good, right? 473 00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:19,103 I mean, that's-- that's good, right. 474 00:18:19,137 --> 00:18:20,931 - Well, Chet doesn't seem to agree. 475 00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:21,965 Hmm. 476 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,448 - Shame! Shame! Shame! Shame! Shame! 477 00:18:25,482 --> 00:18:27,448 - She'll get over it, right? - I think so. 478 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:29,448 - No, I won't! Shame! Shame! 479 00:18:29,482 --> 00:18:32,896 [cool percussive music] 480 00:18:32,931 --> 00:18:35,586 [thunder booms] 481 00:18:35,620 --> 00:18:37,758 [light music] 482 00:18:37,793 --> 00:18:40,275 - Oh, Carl, this is perfect. 483 00:18:40,310 --> 00:18:42,413 Just you, me, no kids-- 484 00:18:42,448 --> 00:18:44,620 a nice, big bed. 485 00:18:44,655 --> 00:18:46,551 - I don't know, babe. It's a highway motel. 486 00:18:46,586 --> 00:18:48,758 I mean, who knows who slept in this bed last 487 00:18:48,793 --> 00:18:50,448 or what they left in these sheets? 488 00:18:50,482 --> 00:18:52,448 - Mm-hmm. I knew you would say that, 489 00:18:52,482 --> 00:18:54,448 so I brought a black light. - [chuckles] 490 00:18:54,482 --> 00:18:56,275 - Now we can put your little paranoia to rest. 491 00:18:56,310 --> 00:18:58,068 - All right. - Okay? 492 00:18:58,103 --> 00:19:00,655 Nothing there. 493 00:19:00,689 --> 00:19:02,689 Mm... 494 00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:05,103 Maybe a little smidge there. 495 00:19:05,137 --> 00:19:06,344 And... 496 00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:07,517 [upbeat Latin music playing] 497 00:19:07,551 --> 00:19:08,689 - Whoa! 498 00:19:08,724 --> 00:19:11,275 - Hernando Marquez! 499 00:19:11,310 --> 00:19:13,620 - Barely anything there. All clean. 500 00:19:13,655 --> 00:19:17,172 - What? No. There was an adult man dancing in the corner. 501 00:19:17,206 --> 00:19:18,827 - It was probably just sauce, honey. 502 00:19:18,862 --> 00:19:19,862 Now, where were we? 503 00:19:19,896 --> 00:19:22,172 - We were seeing a glowing jazz man, 504 00:19:22,206 --> 00:19:24,172 whose name I think is Hernando Marquez, 505 00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:25,344 dancing and having a blast. 506 00:19:25,379 --> 00:19:27,172 Let me see that. 507 00:19:27,206 --> 00:19:28,827 [creepy music] 508 00:19:28,862 --> 00:19:30,482 What? - See? 509 00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,172 Nothing. - No-- 510 00:19:32,206 --> 00:19:34,379 - Put that down and make love to your wife. 511 00:19:34,413 --> 00:19:36,379 [upbeat Latin music] - Ah, there he is again! 512 00:19:36,413 --> 00:19:38,655 - Hernando Marquez! 513 00:19:38,689 --> 00:19:40,344 - Come on, it's just a motel. 514 00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:42,172 Even the Ritz is gonna have a little schmutz. 515 00:19:42,206 --> 00:19:43,517 - That is not schmutz. 516 00:19:43,551 --> 00:19:45,689 That was a human noodling out on the trumpet 517 00:19:45,724 --> 00:19:46,862 and announcing his name, 518 00:19:46,896 --> 00:19:48,827 which, yes, does seem to be Hernando Marquez. 519 00:19:48,862 --> 00:19:51,310 Or wait. Does he think I'm Hernando Marquez? 520 00:19:51,344 --> 00:19:52,896 - You seem distracted, honey. 521 00:19:52,931 --> 00:19:56,344 Does this help? 522 00:19:56,379 --> 00:19:58,758 - Yes, it does. - [chuckles] I bet it does. 523 00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:03,034 [chuckles] 524 00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:04,862 [upbeat Latin music playing] 525 00:20:04,896 --> 00:20:06,275 - Aah! 526 00:20:06,310 --> 00:20:08,344 - Hernando Marquez! 527 00:20:08,379 --> 00:20:10,068 [both screaming] 528 00:20:10,103 --> 00:20:11,068 - What? 529 00:20:11,103 --> 00:20:12,068 - Oh, my God! 530 00:20:12,103 --> 00:20:13,310 You were just Hernando Marquez! 531 00:20:13,344 --> 00:20:15,310 - Can you stop talking about Hernando Marquez? 532 00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:17,034 If this is an excuse to not have sex with me here, 533 00:20:17,068 --> 00:20:18,034 then just say it. 534 00:20:18,068 --> 00:20:19,034 - Look, I don't want 535 00:20:19,068 --> 00:20:20,413 to talk about Hernando Marquez. 536 00:20:20,448 --> 00:20:22,551 It's just, why does he only appear in black light? 537 00:20:22,586 --> 00:20:24,862 I mean, is he made of bodily fluid? 538 00:20:24,896 --> 00:20:26,586 Is he a real person who's covered in it, 539 00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:28,586 or is it coming to life? 540 00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:29,896 Am I going insane? 541 00:20:29,931 --> 00:20:30,965 - You know what? Forget this. 542 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,034 I'll see you at home. 543 00:20:32,068 --> 00:20:34,068 - Come on. Honey, please. 544 00:20:34,103 --> 00:20:36,275 Come on. [scoffs] 545 00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:37,517 [sighs] 546 00:20:37,551 --> 00:20:40,517 [eerie music] 547 00:20:40,551 --> 00:20:44,206 ♪ 548 00:20:44,241 --> 00:20:47,689 [eerie music builds to crescendo] 549 00:20:47,724 --> 00:20:50,896 [upbeat Latin music playing] 550 00:20:50,931 --> 00:20:53,551 - Hernando Marquez! 551 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,000 - Hey, are you Hernando Marquez, 552 00:20:55,034 --> 00:20:56,172 or am I Hernando Marquez? 553 00:20:56,206 --> 00:20:58,241 - Hernando Marquez! 554 00:20:58,275 --> 00:20:59,724 [music resumes] - Okay. 555 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,551 [both laugh maniacally] 556 00:21:01,586 --> 00:21:04,344 [music continues] 557 00:21:04,379 --> 00:21:07,551 both: Hernando Marquez! 558 00:21:07,586 --> 00:21:10,000 - So you're semen, right?