1 00:00:06,931 --> 00:00:09,827 [overlapping chatter] 2 00:00:09,896 --> 00:00:12,068 - There he is, John Hancock! 3 00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,551 - Anybody need a signature? 4 00:00:13,620 --> 00:00:15,586 [all cheer] 5 00:00:15,655 --> 00:00:17,655 You guys, thank you so much for coming. 6 00:00:17,724 --> 00:00:18,827 - Oh! - We wouldn't miss it. 7 00:00:18,896 --> 00:00:20,241 - Family for everything. 8 00:00:20,310 --> 00:00:23,206 - So what'd you think of the play? 9 00:00:25,344 --> 00:00:28,931 - I thought, "Wow, look, there's Arturo 10 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,241 just...doing it." 11 00:00:31,310 --> 00:00:34,344 - Yes, you were doing so much acting. 12 00:00:34,413 --> 00:00:35,448 - Yes. 13 00:00:35,517 --> 00:00:37,275 - Very historical. 14 00:00:37,344 --> 00:00:39,000 - I thought you were great, tío. 15 00:00:39,068 --> 00:00:41,137 - Thank you, Maribel. How are you doing? 16 00:00:41,206 --> 00:00:42,827 Are you so stoked about your quinceañera? 17 00:00:42,896 --> 00:00:44,724 - I'm not having a quinceañera. 18 00:00:44,793 --> 00:00:46,275 - Wh-wh-why not? 19 00:00:46,344 --> 00:00:47,896 - Well, money's been tight ever since her father left. 20 00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,413 I'm working two jobs. 21 00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:50,620 - Oh. 22 00:00:50,689 --> 00:00:51,620 - We're just having cake at home. 23 00:00:51,689 --> 00:00:53,068 It's fine. I'll be fine. 24 00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:55,896 - No, everybody should have a quinceañera. 25 00:00:55,965 --> 00:00:57,379 Even some of us didn't get to because 26 00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:59,034 of gender-normative rules, but, you know, who cares? 27 00:00:59,103 --> 00:01:00,586 I'm over it. 28 00:01:00,655 --> 00:01:03,310 Tell you what: you are going to have the best quinceañera ever 29 00:01:03,379 --> 00:01:04,482 'cause I'm gonna throw it for you. 30 00:01:04,551 --> 00:01:06,034 - Really? - Hell yeah. 31 00:01:06,103 --> 00:01:07,620 Come on. [both imitate explosions] 32 00:01:07,689 --> 00:01:08,620 Venga. 33 00:01:08,689 --> 00:01:09,896 - Are you sure, Arturo? 34 00:01:09,965 --> 00:01:11,482 I'm not gonna have any time to help. 35 00:01:11,551 --> 00:01:13,034 - Oh, no, I'll take care of everything. 36 00:01:13,103 --> 00:01:14,517 You don't have to lift a finger. 37 00:01:14,586 --> 00:01:16,862 I love planning parties. I'm very good at it. 38 00:01:16,931 --> 00:01:18,896 Besides, a quinceañera's just a bunch of kids. 39 00:01:18,965 --> 00:01:20,551 Like, how hard can it be, you know? 40 00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:23,034 - You have no idea what you're getting into. 41 00:01:25,241 --> 00:01:26,793 - Oh, hey, tío, thanks for coming. 42 00:01:26,862 --> 00:01:28,137 - You should thank me. 43 00:01:28,206 --> 00:01:30,103 That play was a real piece of shit. 44 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,034 - Note taken. 45 00:01:34,103 --> 00:01:37,034 [cool percussive music] 46 00:01:37,103 --> 00:01:44,103 ♪ ♪ 47 00:01:46,068 --> 00:01:48,413 - Man, that was some gangsta-ass shit last night. 48 00:01:48,482 --> 00:01:50,965 - Yeah, cabrón, OG as fuck. 49 00:01:51,034 --> 00:01:52,137 - Yo, check out this guy. 50 00:01:53,551 --> 00:01:54,827 - What's up, little homies? 51 00:01:54,896 --> 00:01:56,758 - Respect. - Respectó, respectó siempre. 52 00:01:56,827 --> 00:01:58,517 What you fools talking about, eh? 53 00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:01,655 - Ivan tagged up a Rite Aid over on San Pedro Street. 54 00:02:01,724 --> 00:02:03,310 - Yeah, it was so gangsta. 55 00:02:03,379 --> 00:02:06,172 No, no, no, no. It was OG. 56 00:02:06,241 --> 00:02:07,517 - That's what's up. 57 00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:10,655 - Shit, man, you young bloods don't know shit. 58 00:02:10,724 --> 00:02:12,551 Wanna know what's OG? - What's up? 59 00:02:12,620 --> 00:02:16,551 - Back in the day, ése, we had to call people like this. 60 00:02:20,586 --> 00:02:22,034 - Okay, so what? 61 00:02:22,103 --> 00:02:23,862 - Shut the fuck up, fool. 62 00:02:23,931 --> 00:02:25,655 I'm still dialing. 63 00:02:25,724 --> 00:02:28,482 Hello? Yo, what's up, homes? 64 00:02:28,551 --> 00:02:29,793 I'll talk to you later, okay? 65 00:02:29,862 --> 00:02:31,310 Orale. 66 00:02:31,379 --> 00:02:33,862 - Damn, that's what's up. 67 00:02:33,931 --> 00:02:36,068 - Hell yeah. Respect the OG. 68 00:02:36,137 --> 00:02:38,793 - So he used a rotary phone when he was a kid. 69 00:02:38,862 --> 00:02:40,310 How is that OG? 70 00:02:40,379 --> 00:02:42,827 - You know what's real gangster, homes? 71 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,000 I had to relearn how to walk, ése, 72 00:02:45,068 --> 00:02:47,620 'cause I got polio on my 30th birthday, bro. 73 00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:50,241 - Damn, B! That's OG. 74 00:02:50,310 --> 00:02:52,137 - Respect to the OG. - Come on. 75 00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:53,517 - Yo, you ever ride a horse, 76 00:02:53,586 --> 00:02:55,310 not like for fun but to get around and shit? 77 00:02:55,379 --> 00:02:56,310 - Respect to the OG. 78 00:02:56,379 --> 00:02:57,758 - Yo, stop saying that. 79 00:02:57,827 --> 00:02:59,137 - If I ever had to smoke a fool, 80 00:02:59,206 --> 00:03:01,413 I had to put a little metal ball down my piece 81 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:02,931 and then a lot of gunpowder in it 82 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,275 and then wackety, wackety, wackety with a long stick, 83 00:03:05,344 --> 00:03:07,068 light that fuse and zacate! 84 00:03:07,137 --> 00:03:08,655 - Are you talking about a musket? 85 00:03:08,724 --> 00:03:10,344 - OG right there. 86 00:03:10,413 --> 00:03:12,758 - You fools don't know how good you have it, ése. 87 00:03:12,827 --> 00:03:14,689 If I wanted to hang out with my homies like this, 88 00:03:14,758 --> 00:03:15,793 it took a minute. 89 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:16,827 There was only one continent, man. 90 00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:17,896 That's a lot of ground to cover, 91 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:18,965 you know what I'm saying? 92 00:03:19,034 --> 00:03:20,551 - Yo, dog, when are you from? 93 00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:23,034 - H-I-J-K-L-M-N-OG. 94 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:24,482 OG, papo. 95 00:03:24,551 --> 00:03:26,310 - You see, when I was your age, 96 00:03:26,379 --> 00:03:29,482 the air was always cold, ése, always cold 97 00:03:29,551 --> 00:03:31,137 'cause the atmosphere was, like, 98 00:03:31,206 --> 00:03:32,551 half as thick as it is now and shit. 99 00:03:32,620 --> 00:03:34,931 It didn't matter to us, bro. 100 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,931 Me and my homies was fish anyway, you feel me? 101 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:40,034 Glug, glug, motherfucker. both: OG! 102 00:03:40,103 --> 00:03:41,827 - Enough! Ciante! 103 00:03:41,896 --> 00:03:43,344 This guy's not OG! 104 00:03:43,413 --> 00:03:45,862 None of these things are OG at all. 105 00:03:45,931 --> 00:03:48,586 This dude's just a busted-ass poser. 106 00:03:48,655 --> 00:03:51,586 [intense music] 107 00:03:51,655 --> 00:03:56,896 ♪ ♪ 108 00:03:56,965 --> 00:03:58,448 - Ooh. 109 00:03:58,517 --> 00:04:00,896 - A pox on your clica, ése. 110 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,620 - Hey, what's wrong with you, fool? Respect the OG. 111 00:04:04,689 --> 00:04:05,689 - Why you on this dude's ass? 112 00:04:05,758 --> 00:04:07,586 - Whoa, whoa, check it out, fool! 113 00:04:07,655 --> 00:04:09,275 - True OG. 114 00:04:09,344 --> 00:04:11,896 [bicycle bell rings] 115 00:04:11,965 --> 00:04:13,965 - I have so many questions, man. 116 00:04:15,034 --> 00:04:18,517 [cool percussive music] 117 00:04:18,586 --> 00:04:19,655 - You guys have been so amazing 118 00:04:19,724 --> 00:04:21,241 coming to all our baby events. 119 00:04:21,310 --> 00:04:22,448 Thank you. 120 00:04:22,517 --> 00:04:23,827 The shower, the sprinkle, 121 00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:25,965 and today, finally, the gender reveal. 122 00:04:26,034 --> 00:04:27,448 It's the last one, though, I promise. 123 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:28,655 - Great. 124 00:04:28,724 --> 00:04:29,689 - [laughing] Just kidding. 125 00:04:29,758 --> 00:04:31,206 Then there's the sip 'n' see. 126 00:04:31,275 --> 00:04:32,206 - Right, the sip 'n' see. 127 00:04:32,275 --> 00:04:33,758 - Whoo! Exactly. 128 00:04:33,827 --> 00:04:36,000 - Anyways, Armando's the only one who knows the gender. 129 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,517 I'm gonna be surprised too. 130 00:04:37,586 --> 00:04:39,172 He set this all up, so sweet. 131 00:04:39,241 --> 00:04:40,344 - Oh, well, somebody had to, 132 00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:42,241 and you can only reveal it once, you know? 133 00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:44,827 And I think I planned something really, really cool. 134 00:04:44,896 --> 00:04:45,896 You guys are gonna love it. 135 00:04:45,965 --> 00:04:47,655 [chuckles] Hmm. 136 00:04:47,724 --> 00:04:49,896 - Pink lemonade. - [gasps] That's the reveal? 137 00:04:49,965 --> 00:04:51,965 We're having a little girl. Oh, honey. 138 00:04:52,034 --> 00:04:53,310 - I just knew it. 139 00:04:53,379 --> 00:04:54,689 - No, Mom, no. I mean-- 140 00:04:54,758 --> 00:04:56,172 I mean, that's not the reveal. 141 00:04:56,241 --> 00:04:57,689 The reveal is so much cooler. You guys are gonna love it. 142 00:04:57,758 --> 00:05:01,275 Oh, let me just clean this up. 143 00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:02,586 So wait till you see it. 144 00:05:02,655 --> 00:05:03,793 - Blue paper towels? 145 00:05:03,862 --> 00:05:04,931 - [gasps] It's a boy. 146 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,137 - Aw. - Oh. 147 00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:07,275 - Congrats, man. 148 00:05:07,344 --> 00:05:09,965 - No, no. No, no, that's not the reveal. 149 00:05:10,034 --> 00:05:11,689 I wouldn't plan the whole reveal over some paper towels. 150 00:05:11,758 --> 00:05:12,965 What am I, an amateur? 151 00:05:13,034 --> 00:05:15,413 No, when you see it, your heads are gonna spin 152 00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,586 'cause it's gonna be awesome. 153 00:05:16,655 --> 00:05:17,931 Am I right, Mom? What's up? 154 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,275 [laughs] 155 00:05:19,344 --> 00:05:20,275 [fabric rips] 156 00:05:20,344 --> 00:05:21,448 - [gasps] Pink boxers. 157 00:05:21,517 --> 00:05:23,000 - You little devil, you! It is a girl! 158 00:05:23,068 --> 00:05:24,517 - Oh, I told you I knew it. 159 00:05:24,586 --> 00:05:25,758 - No, Mom, that's not the reveal. 160 00:05:25,827 --> 00:05:27,689 That's just really embarrassing. 161 00:05:27,758 --> 00:05:29,241 [fireworks whistling] - Ooh! 162 00:05:29,310 --> 00:05:31,034 - Blue fireworks. - It's a boy. 163 00:05:31,103 --> 00:05:32,379 - Wow, you went all out, my friend. 164 00:05:32,448 --> 00:05:35,241 - No, no, no, no, that is not the reveal. 165 00:05:35,310 --> 00:05:36,758 You will know when the reveal happens 166 00:05:36,827 --> 00:05:38,586 because your heads will be spinning, spinning, 167 00:05:38,655 --> 00:05:40,448 'cause it's gonna be so cool, ha, 168 00:05:40,517 --> 00:05:41,758 'cause I'm a great planner of things. 169 00:05:41,827 --> 00:05:44,103 So let's just ignore this, okay? 170 00:05:45,172 --> 00:05:46,482 - Purple blinds. 171 00:05:46,551 --> 00:05:49,379 - He's letting the baby decide for themselves. 172 00:05:49,448 --> 00:05:50,551 - Oh, that's so progressive. 173 00:05:50,620 --> 00:05:52,689 - Everybody shut up! Shut up! 174 00:05:52,758 --> 00:05:54,413 Of course I wouldn't plan it over some blinds. 175 00:05:54,482 --> 00:05:56,517 Are you crazy? Are you cuckoo? 176 00:05:56,586 --> 00:05:57,620 You're not, right? 177 00:05:57,689 --> 00:06:00,586 So everybody just chill out 178 00:06:00,655 --> 00:06:03,862 and let me show you the amazing reveal, 179 00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:05,827 the coolest reveal that you'll ever see 180 00:06:05,896 --> 00:06:07,310 that I planned for all of you. 181 00:06:07,379 --> 00:06:09,103 - Thank you for having us, but we're gonna get going. 182 00:06:09,172 --> 00:06:12,931 - Nobody moves until I reveal the gender of my baby. 183 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,034 You understand me? 184 00:06:14,103 --> 00:06:15,793 - Armando, you're scaring us. 185 00:06:15,862 --> 00:06:17,620 - Am I? - My water just broke. 186 00:06:17,689 --> 00:06:19,896 - No, honey, no. 187 00:06:19,965 --> 00:06:21,896 Not right now! No, not yet! 188 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,586 Honey, this is so selfish of you! 189 00:06:23,655 --> 00:06:25,793 - Just breathe. The baby's crowning. 190 00:06:25,862 --> 00:06:28,241 - Okay, nobody look at my baby's genitals! 191 00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:29,413 Nobody look at them! 192 00:06:29,482 --> 00:06:30,586 Here, here, open the box. 193 00:06:30,655 --> 00:06:31,586 - Open it now, honey. 194 00:06:31,655 --> 00:06:32,655 - Now? - Yeah. 195 00:06:32,724 --> 00:06:33,758 Open it. 196 00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:36,034 Huh? - [gasping] 197 00:06:36,103 --> 00:06:37,793 Huh? [laughs] 198 00:06:37,862 --> 00:06:40,862 It's a girl! It's a girl! 199 00:06:40,931 --> 00:06:43,275 Now that's a fucking gender reveal, am I right? 200 00:06:43,344 --> 00:06:45,862 [baby crying] 201 00:06:45,931 --> 00:06:47,448 - I think it's time for you to go. 202 00:06:47,517 --> 00:06:49,793 - I agree. 203 00:06:49,862 --> 00:06:52,172 I agree. 204 00:06:52,241 --> 00:06:53,931 - Oh, it's a boy. 205 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,482 - God damn it! 206 00:06:55,551 --> 00:06:58,241 [cool percussive music] 207 00:07:00,862 --> 00:07:03,827 [cool percussive music] 208 00:07:03,896 --> 00:07:05,551 - Yes, I understand what you're saying. 209 00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:08,482 Okay, but do you understand how having 25 fuchsia tablecloths 210 00:07:08,551 --> 00:07:10,482 does not help me when I have 30 tables? 211 00:07:10,551 --> 00:07:12,758 What am I supposed to have, 5 naked tables? 212 00:07:12,827 --> 00:07:13,793 That would be ridiculous. 213 00:07:13,862 --> 00:07:15,310 - [whispers] This is fascinating. 214 00:07:15,379 --> 00:07:17,448 - Do I want another color? 215 00:07:17,517 --> 00:07:18,793 Are you serious? 216 00:07:18,862 --> 00:07:21,413 Fuchsia is the only color, sir. Thank you. 217 00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:22,517 [whispers] Can you believe this? 218 00:07:22,586 --> 00:07:23,965 - No, I cannot. - Mm-mm. 219 00:07:24,034 --> 00:07:25,793 - Yes, I'll hold. 220 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:26,965 This or this? 221 00:07:27,034 --> 00:07:28,137 - Uh... - This or this? 222 00:07:28,206 --> 00:07:29,517 - That one. That one. That one. That one. 223 00:07:29,586 --> 00:07:31,965 But I gotta see it on you 'cause I wanna get the feel. 224 00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:34,586 Okay, pose like a 15-year-old girl. 225 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,379 - Dance around a little. I gotta see how it dances. 226 00:07:36,448 --> 00:07:38,103 - Mm-hmm, you're a woman. Be a woman. 227 00:07:38,172 --> 00:07:39,379 You're growing into a woman now. 228 00:07:39,448 --> 00:07:41,137 - Oh, I see what you're doing. 229 00:07:41,206 --> 00:07:42,620 - Well, I think you look beautiful. 230 00:07:42,689 --> 00:07:44,344 - Thank you, Chris. Thank you. 231 00:07:44,413 --> 00:07:46,655 - So, uh, what do you guys think? 232 00:07:46,724 --> 00:07:47,758 all: Aw. 233 00:07:47,827 --> 00:07:49,586 - Very cute. 234 00:07:49,655 --> 00:07:51,482 - Tío? 235 00:07:51,551 --> 00:07:53,689 - I just want it to be more sparkly, you know? 236 00:07:53,758 --> 00:07:55,068 I want you to pop, you know? 237 00:07:55,137 --> 00:07:56,517 - Yeah, I don't really like it either. 238 00:07:56,586 --> 00:07:57,655 - Oh, cool, just try another one. 239 00:07:57,724 --> 00:07:58,758 - Yeah, yeah, there's tons more. 240 00:07:58,827 --> 00:07:59,620 - Oh, you'll find the perfect one. 241 00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:00,793 Anything you want. 242 00:08:00,862 --> 00:08:02,689 [gasping] There's so many dresses. 243 00:08:02,758 --> 00:08:04,068 They're so expensive. 244 00:08:04,137 --> 00:08:06,413 No, I can't come in to see colors tomorrow. 245 00:08:06,482 --> 00:08:08,344 I'm a very busy man, okay? 246 00:08:08,413 --> 00:08:10,241 Alexa, what's on my schedule for tomorrow? 247 00:08:10,310 --> 00:08:12,931 - No appointments are scheduled for tomorrow. 248 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,379 - Alexa, cancel all my auditions for tomorrow, please. 249 00:08:15,448 --> 00:08:17,758 - There's nothing on your calendar tomorrow. 250 00:08:17,827 --> 00:08:19,137 - Uh, Alexa, can you make something up 251 00:08:19,206 --> 00:08:22,068 so Arturo's not humiliated in front of his friends? 252 00:08:22,137 --> 00:08:24,482 - Okay, I'm clearly getting no support, so... 253 00:08:24,551 --> 00:08:25,724 - We're trying to support you, man. 254 00:08:25,793 --> 00:08:27,517 It's just kinda--kinda crazy. Are you okay? 255 00:08:27,586 --> 00:08:30,034 - [sighs] No, dude. I just... 256 00:08:30,103 --> 00:08:31,586 She's had a really tough run of it lately, 257 00:08:31,655 --> 00:08:33,482 and I just want it to be perfect, you know, 258 00:08:33,551 --> 00:08:35,551 but the worst part is, I thought the "Hancock" money 259 00:08:35,620 --> 00:08:37,413 was gonna be enough to cover the budget. 260 00:08:37,482 --> 00:08:40,758 I almost blew all of it already just on the venue alone. 261 00:08:40,827 --> 00:08:42,344 It's a church basement. 262 00:08:42,413 --> 00:08:43,655 - Jesus wouldn't charge that. 263 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,206 - She is about to become a young woman in front 264 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,241 of my whole family, and they all think I can't do this. 265 00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:49,068 [laughs] 266 00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,793 [gasping] I can't do this. 267 00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:52,896 God, I can't do this. I suck at it. I'm so bad. 268 00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:54,172 - No, you can do this. 269 00:08:54,241 --> 00:08:55,793 You're doing a really sweet thing. 270 00:08:55,862 --> 00:08:58,172 - I still need a band and I need dancers 271 00:08:58,241 --> 00:09:00,758 and I need decorations... 272 00:09:01,793 --> 00:09:03,137 And a new tiara. That's crap. 273 00:09:03,206 --> 00:09:04,517 - Get out of this funk, man. 274 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:05,931 You can do this, all right? 275 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,827 I know some dancers. I bet you I can get 'em for cheap. 276 00:09:07,896 --> 00:09:08,896 - Really? - Yeah. 277 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,413 And I can help you decorate. 278 00:09:10,482 --> 00:09:11,931 - That'd be incredible. - Mm-hmm. 279 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,413 - Oh, and my mariachi band can play. 280 00:09:13,482 --> 00:09:15,620 - Wait, you have a mari-- never mind. 281 00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,793 Sure, you're hired. - Cool. 282 00:09:20,482 --> 00:09:21,448 - Oh. 283 00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:22,482 - This is the one. 284 00:09:22,551 --> 00:09:23,965 - Ah. - Aw. 285 00:09:24,034 --> 00:09:25,827 - Honey, you look-- you look perfect. 286 00:09:25,896 --> 00:09:28,103 - But, tío, it's the most expensive dress. 287 00:09:28,172 --> 00:09:29,275 Are you sure? 288 00:09:29,344 --> 00:09:30,586 - Oh, that one was still in there, huh? 289 00:09:30,655 --> 00:09:33,413 - Yeah, it's very pretty. I like-- 290 00:09:33,482 --> 00:09:34,551 Why are you crying? 291 00:09:34,620 --> 00:09:37,379 - I'm just so... [gulps] 292 00:09:37,448 --> 00:09:39,068 [whispers] Happy for you. 293 00:09:39,137 --> 00:09:40,724 Happy. 294 00:09:40,793 --> 00:09:41,724 Happy tears. 295 00:09:41,793 --> 00:09:45,103 [cool percussive music] 296 00:09:45,172 --> 00:09:47,896 [upbeat music] [overlapping chatter] 297 00:09:47,965 --> 00:09:49,103 [door slams] 298 00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,241 - Hey, Tina. Hey, Paul. 299 00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:52,448 - Oh, hey. - I'm sorry I'm late. 300 00:09:52,517 --> 00:09:53,758 I was already running a little behind, 301 00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:56,103 and then my Lyft was taking forever. 302 00:09:56,172 --> 00:09:57,793 Oh, and when I was getting ready for the party, 303 00:09:57,862 --> 00:09:59,344 I fell down in the shower. 304 00:09:59,413 --> 00:10:00,965 - Oh, no worries. Lyfts can be tough. 305 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,103 - Mm-hmm. 306 00:10:02,172 --> 00:10:03,724 - What was that about the shower? 307 00:10:03,793 --> 00:10:04,724 - Oh, no big deal. 308 00:10:04,793 --> 00:10:05,827 I was taking a shower 309 00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,241 and I slipped and then I fell down. 310 00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:08,620 - Oh. 311 00:10:08,689 --> 00:10:10,827 - Paul, Tina, congratulations. 312 00:10:10,896 --> 00:10:12,310 - Thanks, man. 313 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,206 It's good to see you. - Hey. 314 00:10:14,275 --> 00:10:16,482 Hey, Benny. - Hey, Roger. 315 00:10:16,551 --> 00:10:17,620 Oh, just so you know, 316 00:10:17,689 --> 00:10:19,103 I fell down in the shower earlier today. 317 00:10:19,172 --> 00:10:20,620 - [laughs] 318 00:10:20,689 --> 00:10:22,482 Okay, wait, what? 319 00:10:22,551 --> 00:10:24,620 - Oh, I was taking a shower before the party, 320 00:10:24,689 --> 00:10:26,931 and then I slipped and I fell down. 321 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,758 I'm okay, you know. 322 00:10:28,827 --> 00:10:30,034 Just one of those things. 323 00:10:30,103 --> 00:10:31,551 - It's okay, Benny. It's not a big deal. 324 00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:32,620 - Yeah, I know. 325 00:10:32,689 --> 00:10:33,586 I just felt since I told you guys, 326 00:10:33,655 --> 00:10:34,724 I should tell Roger, you know? 327 00:10:34,793 --> 00:10:35,931 I don't want him to be like, 328 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,137 "Hey, what's this thing about the shower?" 329 00:10:37,206 --> 00:10:38,206 or, "Why didn't you tell me about the shower? 330 00:10:38,275 --> 00:10:39,620 Does he hate me?" 331 00:10:39,689 --> 00:10:41,068 So, Roger, I'm telling you now. 332 00:10:41,137 --> 00:10:43,344 Uh, I fell in the shower, I'm fine, 333 00:10:43,413 --> 00:10:47,172 and I do not hate you. I don't. 334 00:10:47,241 --> 00:10:49,965 - Okay, man. 335 00:10:50,034 --> 00:10:52,000 - Oh, do you guys know of a place around here 336 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,241 that sells handlebars that you can install in the shower? 337 00:10:54,310 --> 00:10:57,517 Well, not a shower, in my shower. 338 00:10:57,586 --> 00:10:59,000 - We're gonna go play host. 339 00:10:59,068 --> 00:11:00,862 - Yes. 340 00:11:00,931 --> 00:11:03,068 - I am so happy for Paul and Tina. 341 00:11:03,137 --> 00:11:04,586 - Oh, definitely. They're the best couple. 342 00:11:04,655 --> 00:11:06,000 I could tell he was gonna propose. 343 00:11:06,068 --> 00:11:07,034 - Oh, totally. 344 00:11:07,103 --> 00:11:08,724 I fell in the shower today, 345 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,482 and I have a rubber shower mat too. 346 00:11:10,551 --> 00:11:13,000 What is up with that, you know? 347 00:11:14,344 --> 00:11:16,000 - Why are you telling us? 348 00:11:16,068 --> 00:11:17,551 - Oh, I just felt we sorta covered 349 00:11:17,620 --> 00:11:19,620 the whole Tina-and-Paul thing, you know? 350 00:11:19,689 --> 00:11:21,413 It's like, what else is there to talk about? 351 00:11:22,586 --> 00:11:24,689 - Oh. - Oh. 352 00:11:24,758 --> 00:11:26,965 - It's crazy how so many rubber things that we think 353 00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:29,655 are sticky and grippy aren't that sticky at all. 354 00:11:29,724 --> 00:11:31,793 For example, there's a lot of shower mats out there. 355 00:11:31,862 --> 00:11:34,689 They say they're made out of this rubbery, sticky material, 356 00:11:34,758 --> 00:11:37,137 but then people buy them and they find out 357 00:11:37,206 --> 00:11:41,172 they're not very sticky on feet, like, at all, you know? 358 00:11:41,241 --> 00:11:43,620 - Sorry, but we just told you that we didn't want 359 00:11:43,689 --> 00:11:45,827 to talk about how you fell down in the shower anymore. 360 00:11:45,896 --> 00:11:47,896 - I'm not talking about falling in the shower. 361 00:11:47,965 --> 00:11:49,000 I'm talking about rubber mats. 362 00:11:49,068 --> 00:11:50,344 How is that the same thing? 363 00:11:50,413 --> 00:11:52,689 One is about a piece of rubber about yay big, 364 00:11:52,758 --> 00:11:54,482 and the other one is about me toppling over in the shower 365 00:11:54,551 --> 00:11:56,241 and splitting my bathing suit in half 366 00:11:56,310 --> 00:11:57,965 and now having to take it to an expensive tailor. 367 00:11:58,034 --> 00:12:00,034 - You wear a bathing suit in the shower? 368 00:12:00,103 --> 00:12:01,896 - I do, yeah. [slurps] 369 00:12:01,965 --> 00:12:03,931 - Can you tell me where you got that drink? 370 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,068 - Oh, um, Paul and Tina didn't have anything I liked, 371 00:12:06,137 --> 00:12:08,448 so I just popped out for a second. 372 00:12:08,517 --> 00:12:10,103 Do you guys know if there's gonna be 373 00:12:10,172 --> 00:12:12,655 McNuggets here later, or... 374 00:12:12,724 --> 00:12:14,586 do you have to pop out for that too? 375 00:12:14,655 --> 00:12:15,965 - That is so scary. 376 00:12:16,034 --> 00:12:18,413 I had a friend, slipped in the shower, hit her head. 377 00:12:18,482 --> 00:12:20,724 She was out for, like, three hours. 378 00:12:20,793 --> 00:12:21,931 Her sister-in-law didn't find-- 379 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,068 - Is your friend here right now? 380 00:12:23,137 --> 00:12:24,448 - Oh, no. 381 00:12:24,517 --> 00:12:27,034 - Oh, okay, 'cause I was kind of talking about me. 382 00:12:27,103 --> 00:12:28,724 I really don't know how we got into 383 00:12:28,793 --> 00:12:30,862 this whole thing about an unnamed friend. 384 00:12:30,931 --> 00:12:33,172 - I'm sorry. I'm going to end this conversation. 385 00:12:33,241 --> 00:12:36,344 You seem like a nice person, but you're very rude. 386 00:12:36,413 --> 00:12:37,793 [glass clinking] 387 00:12:37,862 --> 00:12:40,172 - So I know I was getting a little emotional and rambly... 388 00:12:40,241 --> 00:12:41,344 - You took forever, yeah. 389 00:12:41,413 --> 00:12:44,344 - Um, but I really love you guys, 390 00:12:44,413 --> 00:12:46,517 and I wish you nothing but the best. 391 00:12:46,586 --> 00:12:48,551 To Paul and Tina. - To Paul and Tina. 392 00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:51,137 [glasses clinking] 393 00:12:54,689 --> 00:12:56,793 - I'll make a toast. - No, Benny, please. 394 00:12:56,862 --> 00:12:59,034 - So, um, I fell in the shower today. 395 00:12:59,103 --> 00:13:01,620 Oh, McNugget. 396 00:13:02,931 --> 00:13:04,413 It's never happened to me before, 397 00:13:04,482 --> 00:13:06,482 and I'm thinking about getting one of those shower chairs. 398 00:13:06,551 --> 00:13:08,000 - Benny, enough! - What? 399 00:13:08,068 --> 00:13:09,620 - You've been talking about this all night. 400 00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:10,793 No one cares. 401 00:13:10,862 --> 00:13:12,517 [poignant music] 402 00:13:12,586 --> 00:13:14,689 - No one cares? 403 00:13:14,758 --> 00:13:16,758 Hal? - No. 404 00:13:17,896 --> 00:13:19,482 - Chad. 405 00:13:19,551 --> 00:13:21,448 Vivian, you care a little bit, yeah? 406 00:13:21,517 --> 00:13:22,758 - I care. 407 00:13:22,827 --> 00:13:23,724 - I have serious problems with you. 408 00:13:23,793 --> 00:13:24,827 - Okay. 409 00:13:24,896 --> 00:13:27,655 - Well, I feel like dirt. 410 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,655 I'm sorry that I ruined everybody's good time. 411 00:13:29,724 --> 00:13:32,413 I'm gonna use the restroom, and then I will go. 412 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:35,793 [door slams] Help! 413 00:13:35,862 --> 00:13:37,965 Help! Somebody please help me! 414 00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:40,517 - Let me guess, you fell down in the shower? 415 00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:44,517 - Uh, no, he has his foot stuck in the toilet. 416 00:13:44,586 --> 00:13:47,344 - Please help me, somebody. 417 00:13:47,413 --> 00:13:49,103 Please not Jessica. 418 00:13:49,172 --> 00:13:51,931 [cool percussive music] 419 00:13:54,413 --> 00:13:56,965 [cool percussive music] 420 00:13:57,034 --> 00:13:58,172 ♪ ♪ 421 00:13:58,241 --> 00:14:01,793 [upbeat Latin dance music] 422 00:14:01,862 --> 00:14:04,137 - Hey, guys. Whoa, that's a lot of churros. 423 00:14:04,206 --> 00:14:06,103 [laughs] They're surprisingly expensive. 424 00:14:06,172 --> 00:14:08,068 [laughs] Don't eat too many. 425 00:14:08,137 --> 00:14:09,482 Where the hell are my lights? 426 00:14:09,551 --> 00:14:11,275 Okay, let's get that disco ball spinning, please. 427 00:14:11,344 --> 00:14:13,275 Thank you so much. Hi! Hey! 428 00:14:13,344 --> 00:14:15,103 I didn't see you. Maya, you look wonderful. 429 00:14:15,172 --> 00:14:17,137 No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 430 00:14:17,206 --> 00:14:19,137 No, no, no, the bar is only open for five more minutes. 431 00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:21,310 After that, it is cash only. 432 00:14:21,379 --> 00:14:22,931 Yes, I'm charging at a quince, 433 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,413 and I'm super broke. Do not judge me today. 434 00:14:25,482 --> 00:14:26,793 Jen, Seaton, we ready? 435 00:14:26,862 --> 00:14:28,586 - Ready to go. - On it. 436 00:14:28,655 --> 00:14:30,551 - Chris, all right, man, you ready? 437 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:33,000 - Yeah. - All right, great. 438 00:14:33,068 --> 00:14:35,241 Chris, are those three white guys dressed as mariachis? 439 00:14:35,310 --> 00:14:37,206 - Yeah, man, it's my band. 440 00:14:37,275 --> 00:14:38,965 - Okay, I'll be mad about this later. 441 00:14:39,034 --> 00:14:40,758 Okay, when the balloons drop, you start playing, great? 442 00:14:40,827 --> 00:14:41,793 - Okay. - Okay. 443 00:14:41,862 --> 00:14:44,034 Hey. [laughs] Not cool. 444 00:14:44,103 --> 00:14:47,482 Not cool. Very not cool. 445 00:14:47,551 --> 00:14:49,137 [knock on door] 446 00:14:49,206 --> 00:14:50,586 No, I said one churro per person. 447 00:14:50,655 --> 00:14:52,448 What is this, Christmas? 448 00:14:58,206 --> 00:15:00,655 Look at you. You're a vision. 449 00:15:00,724 --> 00:15:03,068 - I'm excited. My dress is so sparkly! 450 00:15:03,137 --> 00:15:05,241 - I may have spent five hours last night 451 00:15:05,310 --> 00:15:08,172 gluing some extra rhinestones, so try not to move too much. 452 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:11,000 - Thank you for all of this. 453 00:15:11,068 --> 00:15:13,482 - Well, you're family, Maribel. I'd do anything for you. 454 00:15:13,551 --> 00:15:15,379 Plus, you have excellent taste in theater. 455 00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,034 I mean, that "Hancock" performance, really. 456 00:15:17,103 --> 00:15:18,551 - Well, I mean, I don't think John Hancock 457 00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:20,827 ever said, "Cool beans," but, you know, you did really well. 458 00:15:20,896 --> 00:15:22,344 - Thank you. That was an improv. 459 00:15:22,413 --> 00:15:23,724 - I could tell. 460 00:15:25,034 --> 00:15:26,448 [both imitate explosion] 461 00:15:26,517 --> 00:15:28,862 - You're ready. Let's do this. 462 00:15:28,931 --> 00:15:31,965 [upbeat Latin dance music] 463 00:15:32,034 --> 00:15:34,965 It is my pleasure to present to you the quinceañera 464 00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:37,965 of one of my favorite people in the world: Queen Maribel. 465 00:15:38,034 --> 00:15:40,586 [applause] 466 00:15:40,655 --> 00:15:42,206 Oh! 467 00:15:44,551 --> 00:15:47,172 Cue balloons. 468 00:15:53,068 --> 00:15:54,655 Jen, hi. - Hi. 469 00:15:54,724 --> 00:15:56,137 - Are these funeral balloons? 470 00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:57,724 - Well, given our time constraint 471 00:15:57,793 --> 00:16:00,827 and budget of zero dollars, I think I did a very nice job. 472 00:16:00,896 --> 00:16:02,620 - ♪ When a girl walks in with an itty, bitty waist ♪ 473 00:16:02,689 --> 00:16:04,241 - Oh, no. 474 00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:05,724 - ♪ And a round thing in your face, you get sprung ♪ 475 00:16:05,793 --> 00:16:07,034 ♪ Wanna pull up tough ♪ 476 00:16:07,103 --> 00:16:08,275 ♪ 'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed ♪ 477 00:16:08,344 --> 00:16:09,965 - Hey, Chris? - Yeah? 478 00:16:10,034 --> 00:16:12,241 - Is that a mariachi version of "Baby Got Back"? 479 00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:14,103 - Yeah, isn't it great? 480 00:16:14,172 --> 00:16:16,103 - No! It's so inappropriate! 481 00:16:16,172 --> 00:16:17,931 [chuckles] All right, Seton, cue the dancers. 482 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,482 I need a distraction now. 483 00:16:19,551 --> 00:16:21,482 - ♪ Oh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin ♪ 484 00:16:21,551 --> 00:16:23,241 ♪ You say you wanna get in my Benz? ♪ 485 00:16:23,310 --> 00:16:24,896 ♪ Well, use me, use me ♪ 486 00:16:24,965 --> 00:16:26,275 ♪ 'Cause you ain't that average groupie ♪ 487 00:16:26,344 --> 00:16:28,000 - Oh, God. Oh, God. 488 00:16:28,068 --> 00:16:29,172 - ♪ I've seen her dancin'... ♪ 489 00:16:29,241 --> 00:16:30,551 - What the hell, man? 490 00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:32,172 I thought you said they were dancers? 491 00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:33,482 - Well, they are dancers. 492 00:16:33,551 --> 00:16:35,931 But don't worry. I asked them to tone it down. 493 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,896 - Does this look toned-down to you, man? 494 00:16:37,965 --> 00:16:39,379 - Hell yeah. 495 00:16:39,448 --> 00:16:40,517 You should see 'em on the weekends. 496 00:16:40,586 --> 00:16:42,000 It is very sexual. 497 00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,724 - Okay, okay, okay, stop, stop, stop! 498 00:16:43,793 --> 00:16:45,448 Everybody stop! Stop it! 499 00:16:45,517 --> 00:16:46,758 Just stop for a second, okay? 500 00:16:46,827 --> 00:16:50,068 - Arturo, I am very disappointed. 501 00:16:50,137 --> 00:16:51,172 Let's go. 502 00:16:51,241 --> 00:16:53,482 - I'm sorry, I-- - Mm. 503 00:16:54,689 --> 00:16:57,758 - This party was a real piece of shit. 504 00:16:57,827 --> 00:17:00,310 - Yeah, note taken. 505 00:17:00,379 --> 00:17:03,931 [cool percussive music] 506 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,034 - All right, people, let's look alive. 507 00:17:06,103 --> 00:17:09,862 We're coming back in from commercial in 3, 2... 508 00:17:09,931 --> 00:17:11,137 [applause] 509 00:17:11,206 --> 00:17:13,793 - Ladies and gentlemen, John Regale. 510 00:17:13,862 --> 00:17:15,620 [cheers and applause] 511 00:17:15,689 --> 00:17:18,620 [gentle music] 512 00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:24,448 ♪ ♪ 513 00:17:24,517 --> 00:17:27,862 - ♪ Hey, girl ♪ 514 00:17:27,931 --> 00:17:32,793 ♪ You set my heart on fire ♪ 515 00:17:32,862 --> 00:17:35,931 ♪ Its heat takes me ever higher ♪ 516 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,310 ♪ Ever burning with desire ♪ 517 00:17:39,379 --> 00:17:40,655 - All right, let's ready camera two. 518 00:17:40,724 --> 00:17:43,310 Push in, and...go. 519 00:17:43,379 --> 00:17:44,931 - ♪ Fuego ♪ 520 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,655 - Wow, that's a-- that's a lot of candles. 521 00:17:47,724 --> 00:17:50,793 - ♪ Your burning flame ♪ 522 00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:53,413 ♪ I feel it in your name ♪ 523 00:17:53,482 --> 00:17:57,931 ♪ One touch, I'll never be the same ♪ 524 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,793 - Oh, what a shirt. 525 00:17:59,862 --> 00:18:01,344 So beautiful. 526 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:05,793 - Yeah, so flowy and so close to the candles. 527 00:18:05,862 --> 00:18:07,965 Oh, man, I really wish we would have rehearsed this. 528 00:18:08,034 --> 00:18:10,241 - [laughs] John Regale doesn't rehearse. 529 00:18:10,310 --> 00:18:12,034 Everybody knows that. 530 00:18:12,103 --> 00:18:17,758 - ♪ On my skin, I feel your glow ♪ 531 00:18:17,827 --> 00:18:22,965 ♪ Gimme all of your fuego ♪ 532 00:18:23,034 --> 00:18:29,862 ♪ Yours is a love that can't be scared away ♪ 533 00:18:29,931 --> 00:18:32,000 [audience screaming] 534 00:18:32,068 --> 00:18:33,344 - Are those scarecrows? 535 00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:36,241 Are there actual scarecrows onstage right now? 536 00:18:36,310 --> 00:18:37,862 What the hell's this song about, anyway? 537 00:18:37,931 --> 00:18:39,793 - The song is obviously about fire, Dave. 538 00:18:39,862 --> 00:18:41,310 - Tom, I swear to God. 539 00:18:41,379 --> 00:18:46,000 - ♪ You make my heart beat faster ♪ 540 00:18:46,068 --> 00:18:51,379 ♪ In this game, you are the master ♪ 541 00:18:51,448 --> 00:18:54,413 ♪ Burning like... ♪ 542 00:18:54,482 --> 00:18:55,758 - Oh, God. Oh, God. 543 00:18:55,827 --> 00:18:57,517 What is he doing? What is he doing? 544 00:18:57,586 --> 00:19:00,034 Okay, please tell me there's no actual hydrogen 545 00:19:00,103 --> 00:19:02,137 in that mini "Hindenburg." 546 00:19:02,206 --> 00:19:04,241 - John Regale believes in 100% authenticity 547 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,310 for each performance. 548 00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:10,793 - ♪ Fuego ♪ 549 00:19:10,862 --> 00:19:16,103 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 550 00:19:16,172 --> 00:19:19,068 - Yes! Yes! We did it! We got through the whole song 551 00:19:19,137 --> 00:19:21,413 and nobody--nobody caught on fire! 552 00:19:21,482 --> 00:19:23,827 Yes! - Aye! 553 00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:27,172 [audience screaming] 554 00:19:27,241 --> 00:19:28,758 - Cut to commercial. 555 00:19:28,827 --> 00:19:30,586 [screaming continues] 556 00:19:30,655 --> 00:19:33,034 [cool percussive music] 557 00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:38,448 [cool percussive music] 558 00:19:38,517 --> 00:19:40,862 ♪ ♪ 559 00:19:40,931 --> 00:19:42,793 [overlapping chatter] 560 00:19:42,862 --> 00:19:45,931 - Oh, honey, I'm so sorry I ruined your party. 561 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,965 Um, I rushed it, you know, and, uh... 562 00:19:48,034 --> 00:19:50,275 - Are you kidding? This is amazing. 563 00:19:50,344 --> 00:19:51,724 - It--it is? 564 00:19:51,793 --> 00:19:53,827 - Yeah. You guys, are you having fun? 565 00:19:53,896 --> 00:19:56,379 - Best quince ever. These balloons are hilarious. 566 00:19:56,448 --> 00:19:59,137 - And the band is awesome. - See? 567 00:19:59,206 --> 00:20:00,965 - Yeah, but the aunts and uncles are leaving. 568 00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,655 - Good. Let them all leave. 569 00:20:02,724 --> 00:20:04,793 - Yeah, this is the first quince I've been to 570 00:20:04,862 --> 00:20:06,413 that doesn't have a bunch of freaky old people. 571 00:20:06,482 --> 00:20:08,724 - I'm just happy that you care enough to do this. 572 00:20:08,793 --> 00:20:10,413 Now let's have some fun. 573 00:20:10,482 --> 00:20:11,965 Hit it, mariachis. 574 00:20:12,034 --> 00:20:13,000 [trumpet fanfare] 575 00:20:13,068 --> 00:20:15,551 [bass-heavy hip-hop beat] 576 00:20:15,620 --> 00:20:18,000 - ♪ I like big butts, and I cannot lie ♪ 577 00:20:18,068 --> 00:20:20,241 ♪ You other brothers can't deny ♪ 578 00:20:20,310 --> 00:20:21,724 ♪ That when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty waist ♪ 579 00:20:21,793 --> 00:20:23,310 - Oh, no, excuse me. 580 00:20:23,379 --> 00:20:26,310 Hey, hey, sorry, do you mind if we tone it down a little bit? 581 00:20:26,379 --> 00:20:27,965 This is a party for teenagers, you know? 582 00:20:28,034 --> 00:20:30,000 - It's all good. I am a teenager. 583 00:20:30,068 --> 00:20:31,965 - Nope, nope. No, no. 584 00:20:32,034 --> 00:20:33,758 Okay, we're putting clothes on. 585 00:20:33,827 --> 00:20:36,034 How about some food? We've got great food. 586 00:20:36,103 --> 00:20:38,000 Just no churros, if you don't mind. Thank you. 587 00:20:38,068 --> 00:20:40,000 - ♪ Me so horny ♪