1 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:22,040 In America, we rewrite history 2 00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:25,043 by erasing it. 3 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:37,306 What are you doing? Stop! Crazy fucking bitch! 4 00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:38,724 Okay, you need locking up! 5 00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:41,268 What are you doing? 6 00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,979 You need to be fucking locked up! 7 00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:46,023 Let go of me! Please. 8 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,108 There you go, honey. 9 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,027 "This is Apollo. Leave a message." 10 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:52,070 I've been calling you for three days. 11 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:56,283 I don't know where you are, Apollo. I don't know where you are. 12 00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:10,172 People wash up in New York. Literally. 13 00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:15,469 The Elk Hotel has been in business for over 100 years. 14 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:19,681 Built to serve immigrants passing through Ellis Island. 15 00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:25,521 I'm here to unmake a deal. 16 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:32,653 One hundred years is quite the American success story... 17 00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:37,449 considering this is the shittiest hotel in the world. 18 00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,201 ...Mozart symphony has been discovered. 19 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:42,538 The Bavarian State Library, where it was found, 20 00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:46,834 said the complete symphony was put in manuscript form by Mozart's father 21 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,211 to save the cost of a note copier. 22 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:54,258 The newly discovered symphony will be performed in public May 17th 23 00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:58,011 - at a concert in Bavaria. - He got you good. 24 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,598 External investigators are still trying to verify 25 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,684 the authenticity of the document. 26 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,644 However, a spokesperson for the library... 27 00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:07,062 I remember this. 28 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,230 How long? 29 00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,440 All of this. 30 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,985 - How long? - I want Room 205. 31 00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:14,486 No. Look at the rates. 32 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,199 The whole night. 33 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,660 - All night? - Lester was weary. 34 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,246 For 20 years he'd worked this desk. 35 00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:29,126 His job was to differentiate between gang member and murderer, 36 00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:32,880 versus whore, drug dealer, john, or pimp. 37 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,341 He'd watched gangs wage war outside this very door. 38 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:40,929 Teenagers-- Nay, babies, senselessly killed on the sidewalk. 39 00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:41,847 How long? 40 00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,808 At first, he'd gone out there and scrubbed at the cement. 41 00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,227 Now it was rust-red. 42 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:49,730 Seventy-five. 43 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,108 Gang members and murderers were denied a room. 44 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,694 You get your receipt when you check out. 45 00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,154 Everyone else was welcome. 46 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,867 Of course, his deciphering skills weren't always up to par. 47 00:04:03,202 --> 00:04:05,204 Like the time a trans woman was strangled, 48 00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:08,457 stuffed under the bed in a gold sequined dress, 49 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:11,210 and left undiscovered for two weeks. 50 00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:14,379 - How many of you? - Just me. 51 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,589 You alone, huh? 52 00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:19,259 No one to claim her, buried unnamed. 53 00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:21,386 Alone. 54 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,890 There are centuries of names in that book. 55 00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:36,318 Storm coming. 56 00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:40,781 Yes, there is. 57 00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:57,256 Excuse me. You move for a lady. 58 00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,468 We cast our dreams as a play. 59 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:07,015 Who fills each role so we may bring the unconscious to consciousness? 60 00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:18,819 Who plays each role? 61 00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:20,571 And why? 62 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:26,743 Hey! Don't touch. It's contagious. 63 00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,601 Lillian didn't need Apollo's forgiveness. 64 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,561 She needed her own. 65 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,149 And it laid behind this very door. 66 00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:10,037 1981 was a bloody year in New York. 67 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:20,047 Even Lillian could not escape the violence. 68 00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:30,307 She had seen something that day. 69 00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:31,225 No, Daddy! 70 00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,935 Something she could never unsee. 71 00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:35,354 Daddy! No! 72 00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:45,989 And it had changed her once more. 73 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:53,080 I know what you did, Lillian. I know. 74 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,832 So, you're really just gonna make me wait, huh? 75 00:06:57,376 --> 00:07:00,712 Yeah. You really make me crazy, you know that? 76 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,882 Yeah, sweetie. Yeah. 77 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,970 See you later. 78 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:15,394 She had been here before. That night. That long ago, terrible night. 79 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,773 This room that held a secret she swore she'd never tell. 80 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:28,907 But secrets want out, and prices will be paid. 81 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,457 That was your father's box. 82 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:39,626 Someone left it at the door. 83 00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:01,607 So, tell me something else. 84 00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,317 What should I tell you? 85 00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:05,652 Well, you can't know anything until you know everything. 86 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,654 So, everything it is. 87 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,493 It was unimaginable what had become of her. 88 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:38,268 What now, Lillian? 89 00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:41,063 What now, Lillian? What then? 90 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,816 Tell me your story, and I will tell you who you are. 91 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:55,536 It wouldn't be the last time she'd hold a dying man. 92 00:08:56,203 --> 00:09:00,123 If you're a stickler for numbers, then this would be the first of three. 93 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,669 It is a tremor leading to the quake. 94 00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:06,505 One person moves away, breaks free, 95 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:10,676 creates a seismic shift in a family and in the land. 96 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:14,304 But what is the cost of freedom? 97 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:18,976 Had she been responsible for all that happened after she fled Uganda? 98 00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,895 Could she have changed the course 99 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,648 of her family's history had she stayed? 100 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:27,693 But she had left. 101 00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:31,738 And after, The Butcher had seized power from Obote 102 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,449 and delivered a massacre to her people. 103 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:38,662 - ...they have to die. - All were gone now. All gone. 104 00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:41,748 What god would make people suffer so? 105 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:45,711 What god would bring her all this way to smite her now? 106 00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:54,970 No god of mine. 107 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:01,602 Arthur. 108 00:10:50,526 --> 00:10:53,153 Lillian had known for a long time 109 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:56,782 that there were realer things than the King of Kings right here. 110 00:11:16,969 --> 00:11:18,762 She remembered the hope. 111 00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:22,724 The unbridled hope that everything could be different in America. 112 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:27,271 New York had opened a crack in her, and the light had crept back in. 113 00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:29,064 She found room to dream. 114 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:33,110 Her grandmother had always said she had a lovely voice. 115 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,655 Maybe she could be a lounge singer in a sparkling dress, 116 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:39,199 belting out torch songs in some dusty saloon. 117 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:45,122 Maybe she would meet someone, fall in love, have a bunch of kids. 118 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:49,251 America the Great. The promised land. 119 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:54,173 Apollo, I loved the place. I believed in it. 120 00:11:55,174 --> 00:11:59,261 I could see what America wanted to be, and I would kill to be American. 121 00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:03,182 But sometimes, most times, 122 00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:06,727 it made me feel a little bit like I had to get smaller. 123 00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:12,441 Watch my words and my smiles. Can't get too big, can't be angry. 124 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,359 Don't you see? 125 00:12:15,027 --> 00:12:16,028 Can't be visible. 126 00:12:16,028 --> 00:12:18,030 That's not our baby! 127 00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:23,327 Apollo, have you heard me say "I love you" enough times? 128 00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:28,248 I've made some mistakes in this world. You are not one of them. 129 00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:32,503 But I layered onto you, even at your young age, 130 00:12:32,503 --> 00:12:36,215 my own... dis-ease. 131 00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:38,133 Unease. 132 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,385 Fear. 133 00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:47,893 Don't get big. Don't speak loud. 134 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,939 Don't tell a joke. Don't be too serious either. 135 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:54,024 Don't draw attention to yourself. 136 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,027 Don't throw a tantrum in the store. 137 00:12:57,903 --> 00:12:59,696 Just don't do that. 138 00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:07,955 Apollo, at four years old you already knew what it felt like to live life afraid. 139 00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:13,752 When I was four, my favorite thing in the whole wide world 140 00:13:14,545 --> 00:13:21,093 was finding my jajja outside, hunched over a big iron pot, turning mandazis. 141 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:28,892 You never tasted those. Soft, fluffy doughnut clouds. 142 00:13:29,393 --> 00:13:31,395 Hot and spiced with a little bit of cardamom, 143 00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:33,981 a little bit of cinnamon and a lot of coconut milk. 144 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,902 Can't make a mandazi without getting an oil burn. 145 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:42,322 To make it taste perfect in the mouth, 146 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:47,160 you must add the too, too, too important ingredient. 147 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,246 - Love. - Love. 148 00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:55,085 She was an oracle. Had a life lesson for every minute of the day. 149 00:13:56,170 --> 00:14:01,800 Lillian, the important thing in life is what we do for the ones we love. 150 00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:08,557 Lillian, don't let a man make you crazy, 'cause he will try. 151 00:14:20,319 --> 00:14:26,033 Lillian, if you decide to eat a dog, eat a fat one. 152 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:39,630 If we're lucky, each of us has the memory of a kitchen. 153 00:14:40,214 --> 00:14:44,843 The warmth and aroma of something being cooked with love. 154 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,306 Regardless of who we are, where we're from, 155 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:54,645 kitchen stove or iron pot, we are all gifted this heirloom. 156 00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:56,813 If we're lucky. 157 00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:15,958 The pot is all that's left. 158 00:15:18,544 --> 00:15:20,546 There you go, honey. 159 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:26,844 Lillian, ask help from the spirits 160 00:15:26,844 --> 00:15:29,555 when you have used all your strength. 161 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:35,644 Apollo, I never made you mandazis. Why? 162 00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:39,523 Because I wanted you to like regular American kid food. 163 00:15:39,523 --> 00:15:42,860 I wanted you to fit in with your mac and cheese diet 164 00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:45,696 and your hot dogs and your white bread PBJs. 165 00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,115 But I made them with love. 166 00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:56,373 I know what you did-- 167 00:15:57,916 --> 00:15:59,042 Storm is coming. 168 00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:03,088 Leak! Bucket! 169 00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:08,719 It's pissing through the ceiling, Lester. I got a fucking guest, man. 170 00:16:08,719 --> 00:16:10,679 Is that what we're calling them now? 171 00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:14,266 You'll have to wait your turn, Angelica. I'll get there when I get there. 172 00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:17,686 Just like you, Lester. You'll get there when you get there. 173 00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:20,022 Take your snail-ass fucking time. 174 00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,565 Si tu savais, cher. 175 00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:24,568 I know what those words mean, asshole. 176 00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:33,327 - I want children. - Excuse me? 177 00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:35,704 I want the chance to be a good husband and a great father. 178 00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:38,332 I think I could do that. You know? 179 00:16:43,629 --> 00:16:44,922 There you go, honey. 180 00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:50,511 Used to be advice passed from woman to woman, 181 00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:56,058 drawn from the well of her knowledge, how we do this hard, hard thing. 182 00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:58,227 I reach back to my mother 183 00:16:58,227 --> 00:17:00,020 and she holds my hand, 184 00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:02,898 and she reaches back to her mother before that. 185 00:17:02,898 --> 00:17:06,818 A human chain of information back and back and back. 186 00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:07,819 Lillian. 187 00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:19,164 There was some cracked magic in the air when I met your dad. 188 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:27,923 We'd come from far-flung places, me from Uganda and he from Syracuse, 189 00:17:27,923 --> 00:17:30,008 so we could fall in love in New York City. 190 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:31,718 Correction. 191 00:17:32,261 --> 00:17:33,512 I loved your dad. 192 00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:35,305 Correction. 193 00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:39,643 I can't tell you what being in romantic love is. 194 00:17:40,853 --> 00:17:43,480 I never felt true happiness or contentment. 195 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:48,652 All those tummy things people talk about? I never felt those. 196 00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:52,406 Just blank spaces. 197 00:17:53,991 --> 00:17:58,078 Only from my son were those holes filled. 198 00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:05,460 I know that was no good either, Apollo. 199 00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:08,714 Putting all that pressure on a child. 200 00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:13,051 Burdening you with the weight of all of my happiness. 201 00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:15,637 Loving you more than I can ever love myself. 202 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:18,015 And sometimes... 203 00:18:22,019 --> 00:18:24,730 hating the burden of loving you too. 204 00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:31,278 But us mothers mustn't speak of such matters. 205 00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,655 The divine inconvenience. 206 00:18:35,407 --> 00:18:38,577 The grief, the sorrow, the regret. 207 00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:47,628 The anxiety of caring for a child. 208 00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:53,926 Am I enough? 209 00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:02,726 You are a burrowed tick in my mind. 210 00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:08,982 And it occurs to me, a mother is something I can never not be again. 211 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,571 Can I be mother enough? 212 00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:19,910 Well, now there is no choice. 213 00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:22,704 'Cause, kid, I'm all you've got. 214 00:19:27,793 --> 00:19:31,713 Of course, I had hopes and dreams. 215 00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:39,555 Don't we all grow up wishing on a star? 216 00:19:43,684 --> 00:19:45,602 I gave all my dreams to you. 217 00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:52,860 Okay. Before I tell you what I don't want to tell you, let me first give him color. 218 00:19:57,489 --> 00:20:01,910 He was wounded deeply by a mother who hated him. 219 00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:07,124 I think of it, and I wrap him in my mind's arms. 220 00:20:08,959 --> 00:20:10,627 The dad was worse. 221 00:20:12,796 --> 00:20:18,218 But the betrayal of the mother was something he could never get past. 222 00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:26,101 Should have served as a red flag. 223 00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:30,814 I was color-blind. 224 00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:39,907 Your dad loved you with fire, but he also got satisfaction 225 00:20:39,907 --> 00:20:43,952 from achievements and other worlds that didn't orbit you. 226 00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:47,956 - I was-- I am jealous of that. - Officer West, congratulations 227 00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:49,583 and thank you for an outstanding performance. 228 00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,668 Your father kept a lot of stuff. 229 00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,129 Stuff, stuff, stuff, boxes of it. 230 00:20:55,172 --> 00:20:58,217 As if things were proof he led a meaningful life. 231 00:20:59,051 --> 00:21:01,929 Things filled the void left by parents who couldn't love him. 232 00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:06,808 They say we are destined to repeat our patterns. 233 00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:10,729 And ta-da, he chose a woman who couldn't love him either. 234 00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,398 But I needed him. 235 00:21:14,608 --> 00:21:16,610 Needed him to cover my mistake. 236 00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:32,376 There would be times I would look at him and think, "I hate you." 237 00:21:34,711 --> 00:21:39,424 And other times, he was the guy I chose. 238 00:21:39,925 --> 00:21:44,096 Because, boy, I knew he would love you. 239 00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:50,602 Pushing away all those gut warnings 240 00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:53,564 that told me something wasn't quite right with him. 241 00:21:55,274 --> 00:21:56,275 Something. 242 00:21:57,776 --> 00:22:01,405 I didn't see the fissures that led to the quake. 243 00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:06,243 I didn't see the reasons he chose me. 244 00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:13,458 Perfect fit. 245 00:22:15,919 --> 00:22:16,920 Wouldn't you know? 246 00:22:30,475 --> 00:22:31,560 He tells me-- 247 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:35,772 You make me so angry I wanna punch the walls till my fingers are powder! 248 00:22:38,150 --> 00:22:39,318 He also tells me-- 249 00:22:39,318 --> 00:22:42,738 You shine a light on me so strong that I am blinded by it. 250 00:22:43,488 --> 00:22:48,118 We live day-to-day somewhere between those two extremes. 251 00:23:29,076 --> 00:23:32,996 Fucking cheap-shit broken city. The hell we paying taxes for? 252 00:23:32,996 --> 00:23:35,958 You never paid a cent to the taxman in your life. 253 00:23:37,292 --> 00:23:38,293 Lady! 254 00:24:11,076 --> 00:24:12,494 That's someone's son. 255 00:24:15,330 --> 00:24:16,331 I know. 256 00:24:30,971 --> 00:24:32,764 Who fills each role? 257 00:24:38,729 --> 00:24:39,730 And why? 258 00:24:48,113 --> 00:24:52,534 Thank you. I'm scared of the dark. 259 00:24:53,535 --> 00:24:55,287 The morning always comes. 260 00:24:56,205 --> 00:24:58,832 I was beginning to think I didn't exist. 261 00:25:03,128 --> 00:25:04,129 Is this heaven? 262 00:25:06,340 --> 00:25:07,841 The exact opposite. 263 00:25:08,342 --> 00:25:09,927 I want my money back. 264 00:25:09,927 --> 00:25:13,096 I ain't paying for no goddamn room with holes in the ceiling. 265 00:25:13,096 --> 00:25:14,973 Light and heat from candles? 266 00:25:14,973 --> 00:25:17,643 No one else would have you in their place, Angelica. 267 00:25:17,643 --> 00:25:22,481 Fuck you, Lester. Fuck you and your shitty-ass excuse of a hotel. 268 00:25:22,481 --> 00:25:23,565 Where's your mama? 269 00:25:24,149 --> 00:25:25,734 She's in Massachusetts. 270 00:25:25,734 --> 00:25:27,361 I'm done with this place. 271 00:25:27,361 --> 00:25:30,697 I'm telling you, I'm taking my business to The Duchess. 272 00:25:30,697 --> 00:25:33,283 - I won't miss you. - The Elk Hotel is a haven 273 00:25:33,283 --> 00:25:35,285 for roaches and rat shit. 274 00:25:35,285 --> 00:25:36,870 If you get sick at The Elk, 275 00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:40,457 it's from dope smoke and mold inhalation. 276 00:25:40,958 --> 00:25:43,710 The service is nil. You come here to die. 277 00:25:44,211 --> 00:25:46,547 - She never leaves. - This here? This is a no-tel. 278 00:25:46,547 --> 00:25:51,844 That's my review. Zero stars! You asshole! 279 00:25:52,511 --> 00:25:56,723 Where I come from, when you get sick, your family takes care of you. 280 00:25:57,349 --> 00:25:59,977 Where I come from, they used to burn witches. 281 00:26:02,312 --> 00:26:03,355 How you end up here? 282 00:26:04,439 --> 00:26:06,358 Series of wrong turns. 283 00:26:07,192 --> 00:26:08,318 You shouldn't be alone. 284 00:26:10,529 --> 00:26:12,072 I haven't slept in so long. 285 00:26:14,575 --> 00:26:18,537 When I can't sleep, I pretend my bed is a boat. 286 00:26:19,913 --> 00:26:22,457 And the bed is drifting off to sea. 287 00:26:23,292 --> 00:26:28,380 I have to lie right in the center, no limbs hanging over the sides, 288 00:26:29,089 --> 00:26:34,219 because otherwise a shark might jump up and snatch a foot or an arm. 289 00:26:35,387 --> 00:26:37,598 That doesn't sound very relaxing. 290 00:26:40,017 --> 00:26:41,018 Maybe not. 291 00:26:43,020 --> 00:26:44,188 Why are you staying here? 292 00:26:44,688 --> 00:26:46,064 I know what you did. 293 00:26:53,363 --> 00:26:54,573 Can I get you some water? 294 00:26:57,910 --> 00:26:58,911 Anything? 295 00:27:00,579 --> 00:27:01,830 I miss my mom. 296 00:27:09,171 --> 00:27:10,631 I'm gonna die tonight. 297 00:27:20,390 --> 00:27:21,391 Me too. 298 00:27:25,938 --> 00:27:26,939 Came here with Bill. 299 00:27:29,399 --> 00:27:32,236 I told my mom that it was a bunch of us sightseeing. 300 00:27:34,321 --> 00:27:36,198 And Bill told his wife it was business. 301 00:27:37,574 --> 00:27:40,369 We'd heard about it. This thing that had been affecting our people. 302 00:27:40,369 --> 00:27:41,453 Bill was scared. 303 00:27:42,913 --> 00:27:45,707 I didn't tell him that I'd started to feel bad. 304 00:27:47,084 --> 00:27:51,380 Badder, because, well, we had tickets to see Lena. 305 00:27:53,465 --> 00:27:56,552 Third row. Right up front. 306 00:27:57,344 --> 00:28:00,806 And the idea of not experiencing her "Stormy Weather," I don't know. 307 00:28:02,516 --> 00:28:04,101 The end of the dream was coming anyway, 308 00:28:04,101 --> 00:28:07,855 and not seeing her would somehow mean that it had all meant nothing. 309 00:28:07,855 --> 00:28:10,232 All the anger and the hiding and the confusion. 310 00:28:12,401 --> 00:28:13,819 We came in on a bus. 311 00:28:13,819 --> 00:28:16,613 People must've thought that he was my dad or something. 312 00:28:19,283 --> 00:28:20,284 Then it happened. 313 00:28:22,202 --> 00:28:25,455 It was really sudden, like a change in the weather. 314 00:28:25,455 --> 00:28:27,082 Just, the cough got bad, 315 00:28:27,082 --> 00:28:29,459 and the people started staring at me, disgusted. 316 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:32,754 I was running a fever, sweat dripping. 317 00:28:33,547 --> 00:28:35,340 I could see the look in his eyes. 318 00:28:36,842 --> 00:28:37,843 That was two months ago. 319 00:28:37,843 --> 00:28:40,846 We stayed at a nice place and then his wife called. 320 00:28:40,846 --> 00:28:44,266 An emergency. He had to go back, but he would return. 321 00:28:44,266 --> 00:28:46,226 He was gonna come back in time for Lena. 322 00:28:48,020 --> 00:28:49,021 And when he didn't... 323 00:28:51,064 --> 00:28:53,692 I just-- I tore that room apart like a loaded rock star, 324 00:28:53,692 --> 00:28:55,027 looking for those tickets. 325 00:28:56,945 --> 00:28:58,447 Couldn't find them anywhere. 326 00:28:58,447 --> 00:29:01,074 I didn't have much money. I kept having these blackouts. 327 00:29:01,074 --> 00:29:02,993 I know I should have used what I had left. 328 00:29:02,993 --> 00:29:04,077 I know I should've. 329 00:29:04,077 --> 00:29:06,038 I should've got a bus back home. 330 00:29:06,622 --> 00:29:07,748 But I couldn't do it. 331 00:29:08,749 --> 00:29:09,750 I couldn't. 332 00:29:10,459 --> 00:29:12,085 I couldn't do that to my mom. 333 00:29:14,254 --> 00:29:16,131 Just imagine what that would do to her. 334 00:29:16,632 --> 00:29:20,260 You know, seeing the perfect body that she delivered into the world 335 00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:21,845 all rotted and ruined. 336 00:29:25,974 --> 00:29:28,977 So I found this place, and I gave Lester the rest of my cash. 337 00:29:32,439 --> 00:29:34,650 I get that he has a wife and all that stuff. 338 00:29:36,276 --> 00:29:37,319 I get it. 339 00:29:37,945 --> 00:29:38,946 But I wish... 340 00:29:40,697 --> 00:29:41,990 I just wish I could... 341 00:29:43,951 --> 00:29:46,578 I don't even mind it all ending up here in this room. 342 00:29:47,162 --> 00:29:49,790 But I wish I could have seen her sing "Stormy Weather." 343 00:29:51,416 --> 00:29:53,877 I wish I had that image in my mind... 344 00:29:55,504 --> 00:29:58,549 so that I could just picture it at the exact last moment. 345 00:29:59,383 --> 00:30:00,384 You know? 346 00:30:02,094 --> 00:30:05,055 Like I could just imagine Lena just holding that last note 347 00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:06,723 as the curtains finally close. 348 00:34:30,152 --> 00:34:31,196 Sleep tight. 349 00:35:27,044 --> 00:35:29,505 No. She would not pray. 350 00:35:29,505 --> 00:35:30,881 No god of mine. 351 00:35:37,429 --> 00:35:38,430 Angelica! 352 00:35:40,057 --> 00:35:41,058 Angelica! 353 00:35:42,684 --> 00:35:44,728 Help me. 354 00:35:44,728 --> 00:35:46,563 - Hey, man! Get outta here! - Hey! Let go now. 355 00:35:46,563 --> 00:35:48,482 - Let her go right now. - This has nothing to do with you. 356 00:35:48,482 --> 00:35:50,150 No one's ever gonna see you again. 357 00:35:50,150 --> 00:35:51,652 - You're gonna find yourself... - I paid. 358 00:35:51,652 --> 00:35:54,112 ...stuffed in a suitcase at the bottom of a river. Get up! 359 00:35:54,112 --> 00:35:56,073 - Get up! - Hey. 360 00:35:56,073 --> 00:35:57,741 Hey, man. Come on. 361 00:35:57,741 --> 00:36:00,494 Hey. Dude! Put it down! 362 00:36:00,494 --> 00:36:01,954 I'm gonna give you a shot to get outta here. 363 00:36:01,954 --> 00:36:04,873 If you don't take it, you see that stain on the wall over there? 364 00:36:04,873 --> 00:36:06,708 That's gonna be what's left of you too. 365 00:36:06,708 --> 00:36:08,335 Now, go! Go! 366 00:36:10,838 --> 00:36:12,881 Angelica. It's okay. 367 00:36:12,881 --> 00:36:14,800 It's okay. I got you. 368 00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,177 It's okay. He's gone. 369 00:36:17,177 --> 00:36:18,262 I got you. 370 00:36:19,096 --> 00:36:22,558 Who's gonna come find me? 371 00:36:24,101 --> 00:36:25,477 I don't exist. 372 00:36:25,477 --> 00:36:29,022 You do. I'm looking at you. You're right where you need to be. 373 00:36:30,899 --> 00:36:33,735 I got you. 374 00:36:42,327 --> 00:36:43,745 What would happen to her? 375 00:36:44,246 --> 00:36:45,789 What would she tell Apollo? 376 00:36:45,789 --> 00:36:47,165 How would she tell him? 377 00:36:51,211 --> 00:36:52,421 I'm coming for you! 378 00:36:54,214 --> 00:36:56,133 Who's gonna help you shoot a basket? 379 00:36:57,926 --> 00:37:01,471 Who's gonna teach you the rules of American sport games? 380 00:37:01,471 --> 00:37:03,724 Sandcastles I can do. 381 00:37:04,308 --> 00:37:05,767 Changing light-bulbs. 382 00:37:05,767 --> 00:37:08,187 Removing spiders from tubs. 383 00:37:08,187 --> 00:37:11,690 But handmade Father's Day projects at school? 384 00:37:11,690 --> 00:37:13,317 What if something happens to me? 385 00:37:14,651 --> 00:37:16,236 What if I die in the night? 386 00:37:16,862 --> 00:37:18,530 No one will come for you. 387 00:37:19,031 --> 00:37:21,241 Because no one knows you're alone. 388 00:37:28,624 --> 00:37:31,877 How do you tell a child his daddy isn't coming back? 389 00:37:37,758 --> 00:37:41,762 Apollo, you felt he didn't want you, 390 00:37:42,721 --> 00:37:44,681 but it was precisely the opposite. 391 00:37:45,766 --> 00:37:47,184 He wanted you too much. 392 00:37:54,316 --> 00:37:58,278 You shine a light on me so strong, I am blinded by it. 393 00:37:58,946 --> 00:38:00,239 I need to explain. 394 00:38:00,989 --> 00:38:02,199 I need an explanation. 395 00:38:02,866 --> 00:38:04,243 It was a really hot day. 396 00:38:04,826 --> 00:38:05,827 Humid too. 397 00:38:06,870 --> 00:38:10,499 We took the tramway to Roosevelt Island to have a picnic by the water. 398 00:38:11,917 --> 00:38:13,168 Tuna salad. 399 00:38:15,254 --> 00:38:16,338 Kinda boring, huh? 400 00:38:18,090 --> 00:38:19,007 What did you say? 401 00:38:19,007 --> 00:38:20,509 I ain't say nothing. 402 00:38:20,509 --> 00:38:23,554 And it was the first time he didn't say anything that wasn't, 403 00:38:24,054 --> 00:38:25,722 "Oh, Lillian, you're so beautiful." 404 00:38:26,223 --> 00:38:28,767 "Lillian, you are a rose in a landfill." 405 00:38:28,767 --> 00:38:31,812 Hey, Lillian, you know this whole island used to be an insane asylum? 406 00:38:31,812 --> 00:38:33,772 - No. - Yeah. 407 00:38:34,273 --> 00:38:35,649 Luxury apartments now. 408 00:38:36,441 --> 00:38:37,442 Probably haunted, huh? 409 00:38:38,735 --> 00:38:39,820 Hey, you see that right there, 410 00:38:39,820 --> 00:38:41,405 the-- that lighthouse? 411 00:38:41,405 --> 00:38:42,614 That lighthouse right there, 412 00:38:42,614 --> 00:38:45,242 that used to light the way for the ships bringing in the wackos. 413 00:38:45,826 --> 00:38:47,202 You know, you're pretty crazy. 414 00:38:47,703 --> 00:38:49,288 You are certifiable. 415 00:38:49,788 --> 00:38:51,790 I'd get you put in there. I could. 416 00:38:51,790 --> 00:38:52,875 You know, back in the day, 417 00:38:52,875 --> 00:38:56,712 husbands, they would have their wives put in that place for, like, masturbation 418 00:38:56,712 --> 00:38:58,922 or menstrual problems, or even smoking. 419 00:39:00,632 --> 00:39:02,176 Except it's not funny, is it? 420 00:39:03,177 --> 00:39:04,720 If you're one of those women? 421 00:39:04,720 --> 00:39:08,599 Novel reading, ill-treatment by a husband, laziness, 422 00:39:08,599 --> 00:39:12,186 political excitement, asthma, bad company. 423 00:39:12,686 --> 00:39:16,899 You know, if something like that ever happened to you, no one would know. 424 00:39:18,108 --> 00:39:21,111 Like, your family and that, you know, because they're all gone. 425 00:39:21,987 --> 00:39:22,988 So sad. 426 00:39:24,990 --> 00:39:26,575 And it felt like a threat... 427 00:39:27,826 --> 00:39:30,037 and I felt a door shut inside of me. 428 00:39:31,538 --> 00:39:32,998 It's my fault... 429 00:39:35,042 --> 00:39:38,086 that I didn't listen to words said over tuna salad 430 00:39:39,713 --> 00:39:41,632 on the banks of Roosevelt Island. 431 00:39:42,341 --> 00:39:43,342 His and theirs. 432 00:39:43,342 --> 00:39:46,512 A storm is coming. A storm is coming. 433 00:39:46,512 --> 00:39:48,096 A storm is coming. 434 00:39:49,473 --> 00:39:50,891 A storm is coming. 435 00:39:52,226 --> 00:39:53,685 A storm is coming. 436 00:39:56,313 --> 00:39:58,190 If I could teach you anything, 437 00:40:00,067 --> 00:40:01,485 it's to look for the signs. 438 00:40:03,779 --> 00:40:04,780 He said... 439 00:40:04,780 --> 00:40:05,948 You don't exist. 440 00:40:05,948 --> 00:40:07,199 Excuse me? 441 00:40:08,075 --> 00:40:10,327 And I started living in a kind of fear. 442 00:40:11,662 --> 00:40:14,122 He really didn't do anything wrong though. 443 00:40:15,249 --> 00:40:16,583 Apollo, know that. 444 00:40:17,876 --> 00:40:21,964 Not until he said... 445 00:40:37,271 --> 00:40:39,022 Apollo's finally sleeping. 446 00:40:39,857 --> 00:40:40,941 Knock, knock. 447 00:40:40,941 --> 00:40:42,025 Who's there? 448 00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:44,361 Banana. 449 00:40:44,361 --> 00:40:45,904 - Sometimes when I was sad... - Banana who? 450 00:40:45,904 --> 00:40:48,323 - Knock, knock. - ...he would tell jokes, make me smile. 451 00:40:48,323 --> 00:40:49,908 - Who's there? - Banana. 452 00:40:49,908 --> 00:40:50,993 Banana who? 453 00:40:50,993 --> 00:40:52,911 He was funny and sweet like that. 454 00:40:52,911 --> 00:40:54,162 Who's there? 455 00:40:54,162 --> 00:40:55,497 Orange. 456 00:40:55,497 --> 00:40:56,582 Orange who? 457 00:40:57,499 --> 00:40:59,251 Orange you glad I didn't say banana? 458 00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:02,921 Hey, Lillian. 459 00:41:05,841 --> 00:41:07,885 I will know you until we are dust. 460 00:41:09,094 --> 00:41:11,138 Why does that sound like a threat? 461 00:41:11,638 --> 00:41:13,724 He'd found the receipt and confronted her. 462 00:41:13,724 --> 00:41:15,267 She'd sworn up and down 463 00:41:15,267 --> 00:41:19,479 she didn't know where that bill for a stay at The Elk Hotel on 9th and 42nd 464 00:41:19,479 --> 00:41:20,564 had come from. 465 00:41:20,564 --> 00:41:23,275 - We'd just got together, Lillian. - I don't know what this is. 466 00:41:23,275 --> 00:41:25,277 An affair in this shitty hotel? 467 00:41:26,111 --> 00:41:26,987 Laughable. 468 00:41:26,987 --> 00:41:28,655 He thought it was her boss. 469 00:41:28,655 --> 00:41:29,740 Charles Blackwood. 470 00:41:33,243 --> 00:41:34,244 As if. 471 00:41:34,953 --> 00:41:38,081 As if she would deign to spend time in a place like this 472 00:41:39,291 --> 00:41:40,918 with a man like that. 473 00:41:40,918 --> 00:41:42,294 He's married. 474 00:41:42,294 --> 00:41:43,504 With two children. 475 00:41:43,504 --> 00:41:45,797 Oh, yeah? You sure know a lot about him, huh? 476 00:41:45,797 --> 00:41:48,258 He keeps their pictures on his desk. 477 00:41:49,593 --> 00:41:51,970 You started saying he was knocking at the door. 478 00:41:51,970 --> 00:41:53,096 Knock, knock. 479 00:41:53,889 --> 00:41:55,641 I go back to work when you are two months old. 480 00:41:55,641 --> 00:41:56,725 I have to. 481 00:41:57,351 --> 00:41:59,937 I'm shattered from getting up through the night to feed you, 482 00:41:59,937 --> 00:42:01,563 and then working, and then home. 483 00:42:03,023 --> 00:42:04,066 I got angry. 484 00:42:04,775 --> 00:42:05,817 I scolded him. 485 00:42:06,818 --> 00:42:07,945 I withdrew. 486 00:42:08,862 --> 00:42:11,281 I planned. I plotted my escape. 487 00:42:12,407 --> 00:42:15,202 Apollo, if you ever have a child, 488 00:42:15,827 --> 00:42:19,456 the cruelest act is to rip him from his mother, months old, 489 00:42:19,957 --> 00:42:21,542 and have her go back to work. 490 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:24,419 Don't ever do that, Apollo. 491 00:42:24,419 --> 00:42:26,046 Unless you wanna see crazy. 492 00:42:26,046 --> 00:42:27,214 Knock, knock! 493 00:42:27,756 --> 00:42:28,757 We split up. 494 00:42:29,258 --> 00:42:30,634 That part's obvious. 495 00:42:30,634 --> 00:42:32,594 And now I see him in every color. 496 00:42:33,554 --> 00:42:35,222 You are screwed now, girl. 497 00:42:35,222 --> 00:42:37,474 - You're going to wake my baby. - "My baby"? 498 00:42:37,474 --> 00:42:39,643 I'm petrified he will take my child from me. 499 00:42:39,643 --> 00:42:41,270 And I will never see you again. 500 00:42:41,270 --> 00:42:42,813 Everything seems lost. 501 00:42:43,897 --> 00:42:45,858 He's the American I would kill to be. 502 00:42:47,025 --> 00:42:48,068 He has all the power. 503 00:42:49,611 --> 00:42:51,029 You're just like my mother. 504 00:42:51,029 --> 00:42:52,489 That's a stinging cut. 505 00:42:52,489 --> 00:42:56,285 I take the little scar, and I add it to my collection of little scars 506 00:42:56,285 --> 00:42:57,369 and I'm panicking. 507 00:42:57,870 --> 00:43:02,249 He speaks to me in this wary tone, because he's convinced himself I'm crazy. 508 00:43:02,249 --> 00:43:05,878 He has to believe it, so he can amputate me and take you. 509 00:43:06,420 --> 00:43:07,629 I would like to say... 510 00:43:07,629 --> 00:43:09,923 Fuck you! Who do you think you are? 511 00:43:09,923 --> 00:43:11,008 But I can't. 512 00:43:11,508 --> 00:43:13,468 I would like to smash him in the fucking face, 513 00:43:13,468 --> 00:43:15,053 but he's the American. 514 00:43:15,053 --> 00:43:17,306 No one's coming to get you, Lillian. You understand that? 515 00:43:17,306 --> 00:43:20,851 It is simple. Nobody's coming to get you because no one who loves you is left. 516 00:43:23,187 --> 00:43:24,646 And then the earthquake erupts. 517 00:43:25,314 --> 00:43:29,902 He's come to visit you. It's a Saturday, and he finds this hotel bill. 518 00:43:30,444 --> 00:43:34,448 And I can't imagine where he found it unless he planted it on me himself. 519 00:43:34,448 --> 00:43:36,783 He's raging, even though we're not together anymore. 520 00:43:36,783 --> 00:43:38,285 He's out of his mind. 521 00:43:39,203 --> 00:43:42,748 The vein bulging in his neck. His eyes on fire. 522 00:43:42,748 --> 00:43:45,918 He's saying if he can't have me, no one can. 523 00:43:45,918 --> 00:43:48,378 No other man is raising my son! 524 00:43:48,378 --> 00:43:49,505 Your son? 525 00:43:49,505 --> 00:43:51,632 My son. I will take you to court. 526 00:43:51,632 --> 00:43:53,008 I will finish you, Lillian. 527 00:43:53,008 --> 00:43:55,511 You say goodbye. It is all over. 528 00:43:55,511 --> 00:43:58,805 I would never! Could never! Have never! 529 00:43:59,723 --> 00:44:01,266 When would I even have the time? 530 00:44:01,767 --> 00:44:04,520 What do you imagine sleeping with my boss would actually do for me? 531 00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:07,856 Liar! 532 00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:09,900 You're all glamour, Lillian. 533 00:44:09,900 --> 00:44:12,986 You only appear as you wish to be seen! 534 00:44:16,323 --> 00:44:18,033 And then I come home one day. 535 00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:21,870 I've bought a Happy Meal for you. 536 00:44:22,788 --> 00:44:24,414 You always ate the fries first. 537 00:44:26,917 --> 00:44:27,918 I come home... 538 00:44:31,129 --> 00:44:34,258 and I see something I can never unsee. 539 00:44:38,136 --> 00:44:40,180 And so I turn off the light. 540 00:44:41,723 --> 00:44:44,434 Our bed was a boat when we cannot sleep. 541 00:44:44,434 --> 00:44:48,438 But you, Lillian, you were the shark. 542 00:44:49,731 --> 00:44:50,732 A cop? 543 00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,777 A white American cop, of all people? 544 00:44:54,653 --> 00:44:57,489 They would burn her for what she'd done. They would vanish her. 545 00:44:58,073 --> 00:44:59,658 You are a fucking liar! 546 00:44:59,658 --> 00:45:00,909 But he's the American. 547 00:45:00,909 --> 00:45:04,371 Like the women before her and the witches before them. 548 00:45:05,038 --> 00:45:06,373 I'm coming for you! 549 00:45:17,968 --> 00:45:18,969 The answer is no. 550 00:45:20,846 --> 00:45:22,222 I can never be enough. 551 00:45:23,891 --> 00:45:27,269 The mom I want to be is not the mom I am. 552 00:45:31,023 --> 00:45:32,900 What I've taken from you, Son. 553 00:45:32,900 --> 00:45:34,193 Mommy! 554 00:45:35,986 --> 00:45:37,404 What I've erased. 555 00:45:46,163 --> 00:45:47,873 The mom I am is just like he said-- 556 00:45:49,416 --> 00:45:51,126 The mom I am-- 557 00:45:51,126 --> 00:45:53,045 - The mom I am-- - Hey! 558 00:45:54,922 --> 00:45:55,797 No. 559 00:45:56,715 --> 00:45:58,926 No. 560 00:45:59,510 --> 00:46:01,803 This is not how Lillian's story ends. 561 00:46:02,971 --> 00:46:05,432 She came inside and closed the window. 562 00:46:07,559 --> 00:46:10,771 Imagine the cheek of asking someone to scrape you off the sidewalk. 563 00:46:10,771 --> 00:46:13,273 I can't. 564 00:46:13,273 --> 00:46:15,442 She came inside. Oh, my God. 565 00:46:27,246 --> 00:46:28,413 Who are you? 566 00:46:28,413 --> 00:46:29,831 Bad things in this world. 567 00:46:30,874 --> 00:46:32,709 But nothing so bad is worth that fall. 568 00:46:33,627 --> 00:46:35,128 Brian West doesn't win! 569 00:46:37,881 --> 00:46:39,591 Just a dark night of the soul. 570 00:46:39,591 --> 00:46:42,553 Lillian had lost her connection to anything higher. 571 00:46:44,972 --> 00:46:48,517 A dark night calls for a spiritual response. 572 00:46:49,893 --> 00:46:51,186 Are you God? 573 00:46:53,355 --> 00:46:54,356 A lady God? 574 00:46:56,817 --> 00:46:57,818 I knew it. 575 00:47:00,988 --> 00:47:02,447 Are you here to punish me? 576 00:47:03,198 --> 00:47:07,369 Lillian, ask help from the spirits 577 00:47:07,369 --> 00:47:10,247 when you have used all your strength. 578 00:47:15,085 --> 00:47:17,296 Do you think you should be punished, Lillian? 579 00:47:19,464 --> 00:47:21,133 Haven't you always felt that? 580 00:47:22,968 --> 00:47:23,969 Because you left. 581 00:47:27,264 --> 00:47:30,350 Because you survived. 582 00:47:32,186 --> 00:47:34,771 Because of the lie you told to your husband and child? 583 00:47:37,107 --> 00:47:38,609 For all you've done? 584 00:47:39,359 --> 00:47:40,569 Should you be punished? 585 00:47:42,196 --> 00:47:43,572 I'll believe. 586 00:47:44,281 --> 00:47:46,950 I promise I'll believe. 587 00:47:48,035 --> 00:47:50,370 Hail Mary, full of grace. 588 00:47:51,955 --> 00:47:52,956 The Lord-- 589 00:47:53,498 --> 00:47:54,791 Blessed is-- 590 00:47:55,876 --> 00:47:57,044 I don't know this one. 591 00:47:57,044 --> 00:47:59,922 Attempting to leave your son alone in this world? 592 00:48:01,173 --> 00:48:02,341 Should you be punished? 593 00:48:06,929 --> 00:48:08,138 I'll make a deal with you. 594 00:48:10,057 --> 00:48:12,809 Please, I'll do anything. 595 00:48:15,187 --> 00:48:16,813 Are you here to tell me what to do? 596 00:48:17,731 --> 00:48:21,944 Lillian wondered, was there another woman somewhere 597 00:48:21,944 --> 00:48:23,237 on her knees, 598 00:48:24,071 --> 00:48:27,950 making a deal for the son that was lying in room 200? 599 00:48:30,911 --> 00:48:31,954 I won't leave. 600 00:48:34,164 --> 00:48:35,165 I am his mother. 601 00:48:37,793 --> 00:48:39,253 That's all I ever need to be. 602 00:48:40,921 --> 00:48:41,922 I'll be a good one. 603 00:48:43,465 --> 00:48:44,466 I promise. 604 00:48:44,466 --> 00:48:46,093 I'll be the best one I can be. 605 00:48:49,096 --> 00:48:50,138 I'll do anything. 606 00:48:53,392 --> 00:48:56,270 If you let me get away with this thing. 607 00:49:00,482 --> 00:49:04,152 If you make it go away, somehow. 608 00:49:06,989 --> 00:49:08,490 These deals we make, 609 00:49:10,325 --> 00:49:11,326 they're real. 610 00:49:14,037 --> 00:49:19,543 What Lillian didn't know was that 35 years from this very day, 611 00:49:20,127 --> 00:49:22,754 Apollo Kagwa would pay the price 612 00:49:22,754 --> 00:49:25,132 for the bargain his mother made in this room. 613 00:49:29,219 --> 00:49:30,804 What did you say? 614 00:49:31,471 --> 00:49:32,472 Nothing. 615 00:49:32,973 --> 00:49:34,683 The gods will take what they are owed. 616 00:49:35,225 --> 00:49:37,269 You're gonna find yourself stuffed in a suitcase 617 00:49:37,269 --> 00:49:38,604 at the bottom of a river. 618 00:49:45,611 --> 00:49:46,945 And then it came to Lillian. 619 00:49:47,613 --> 00:49:51,742 The answer to her problem had been in this room all along. 620 00:49:53,035 --> 00:49:54,661 She didn't need to confess. 621 00:49:55,621 --> 00:49:57,372 She didn't need to call the police. 622 00:49:58,624 --> 00:50:00,542 She didn't need to tell Apollo. 623 00:50:01,126 --> 00:50:04,338 She can make it go away all herself. 624 00:50:04,338 --> 00:50:06,381 I know what you did, Lillian. I know! 625 00:50:06,381 --> 00:50:07,633 Do be quiet! 626 00:50:07,633 --> 00:50:09,635 You don't get to win, asshole. 627 00:50:12,429 --> 00:50:13,680 Lillian realized 628 00:50:15,015 --> 00:50:19,561 that no one in the whole wide world needed to know. 629 00:50:19,561 --> 00:50:20,771 Ever. 630 00:50:21,647 --> 00:50:24,942 She would go carefully, thoroughly. 631 00:50:26,068 --> 00:50:27,778 She had decided to eat the dog, 632 00:50:28,987 --> 00:50:32,533 and it was indeed a fat one. 633 00:50:35,953 --> 00:50:37,996 But for all his talk, 634 00:50:37,996 --> 00:50:44,628 Brian hadn't anyone who cared whether he was alive or dead either. 635 00:50:50,843 --> 00:50:52,928 There is nothing we will not do... 636 00:50:52,928 --> 00:50:54,763 For the ones we love. 637 00:51:01,228 --> 00:51:05,524 Lillian remembered a long-ago promise. 638 00:51:07,025 --> 00:51:08,777 One she'd forgotten she made. 639 00:51:12,656 --> 00:51:15,158 I will never let anything happen to you. 640 00:51:17,995 --> 00:51:21,790 I will protect you with my breath and soul. 641 00:51:23,333 --> 00:51:25,252 With every molecule. 642 00:51:44,271 --> 00:51:45,898 And she kept that promise. 643 00:51:49,151 --> 00:51:51,737 She was the mother she had vowed to be. 644 00:51:55,032 --> 00:51:58,619 And look, the sun is peeking through. 645 00:52:01,288 --> 00:52:03,081 Time to turn the light back on. 646 00:53:54,026 --> 00:53:58,113 Lillian could finally believe that things were going to be better 647 00:53:58,113 --> 00:54:02,618 than they'd been since the day she stepped foot on this country's soil. 648 00:54:03,202 --> 00:54:06,163 She felt American. 649 00:56:01,778 --> 00:56:05,282 It would be accurate to say that Lillian's first child-- 650 00:56:05,282 --> 00:56:06,533 and only child-- 651 00:56:07,284 --> 00:56:10,913 was conceived in the beautiful blur of 1977. 652 00:56:16,084 --> 00:56:20,088 In America, we rewrite history by erasing it. 653 00:56:25,928 --> 00:56:27,930 But history will not stay buried, 654 00:56:29,014 --> 00:56:30,724 deals cannot be unmade, 655 00:56:32,017 --> 00:56:33,852 and gods will take their pay.