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[Victor LaValle]
In America, we rewrite history
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by erasing it.
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[people on street chattering]
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[person 1] What are you doing? Stop!
Crazy fucking bitch!
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Okay, you need locking up!
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[person 2] What are you doing?
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[person 1]
You need to be fucking locked up!
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Let go of me! Please.
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There you go, honey.
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[Apollo]
"This is Apollo. Leave a message."
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- [line beeps]
- I've been calling you for three days.
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I don't know where you are, Apollo.
I don't know where you are.
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[LaValle]
People wash up in New York. Literally.
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The Elk Hotel has been
in business for over 100 years.
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Built to serve immigrants
passing through Ellis Island.
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I'm here to unmake a deal.
[breathing shakily]
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[door squeaks]
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[LaValle] One hundred years is quite
the American success story...
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[electricity crackles]
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...considering this is the shittiest hotel
in the world.
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[reporter] ...Mozart symphony
has been discovered.
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The Bavarian State Library,
where it was found,
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said the complete symphony was put
in manuscript form by Mozart's father
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to save the cost of a note copier.
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The newly discovered symphony
will be performed in public May 17th
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- at a concert in Bavaria.
- [moans] He got you good.
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[reporter] External investigators
are still trying to verify
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the authenticity of the document.
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However, a spokesperson for the library...
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I remember this.
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[clerk] How long?
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All of this.
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- How long?
- I want Room 205.
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- No, no. Look at the rates.
- [exhales sharply]
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The whole night.
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- All night?
- [LaValle] Lester was weary.
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For 20 years he'd worked this desk.
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[phone rings]
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His job was to differentiate
between gang member and murderer,
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- versus whore, drug dealer, john, or pimp.
- Mm-hmm.
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[LaValle] He'd watched gangs wage war
outside this very door.
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Teenagers-- Nay, babies,
senselessly killed on the sidewalk.
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- [Lester] How long?
- [sighs]
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[LaValle] At first, he'd gone out there
and scrubbed at the cement.
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Now it was rust-red.
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Seventy-five.
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[LaValle] Gang members
and murderers were denied a room.
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[Lester]
You get your receipt when you check out.
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[LaValle] Everyone else was welcome.
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Of course, his deciphering skills
weren't always up to par.
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Like the time a trans woman was strangled,
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stuffed under the bed
in a gold sequined dress,
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and left undiscovered for two weeks.
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- [Lester] How many of you?
- Just me.
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Oh, you alone, huh?
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[LaValle]
No one to claim her, buried unnamed.
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Alone.
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[Lester] Mm-hmm.
There are centuries of names in that book.
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[Lester] Storm coming.
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Yes, there is.
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- [baseball game playing on TV]
- [commentator speaking Spanish]
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- Yo. [speaks indistinctly]
- [chuckles]
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[both chuckling]
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- Come on. Nah. [indistinct]
- Get outta here! [indistinct]
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Excuse me. You move for a lady.
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[scoffs, chuckles]
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[LaValle] We cast our dreams as a play.
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Who fills each role so we may bring
the unconscious to consciousness?
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[person wheezes]
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[wheezing, breathing heavily]
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Who plays each role?
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[LaValle] And why?
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[sick person wheezes]
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Hey! Don't touch.
[stammers] It's contagious.
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[sick person wheezing]
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[LaValle]
Lillian didn't need Apollo's forgiveness.
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She needed her own.
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And it laid behind this very door.
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[LaValle]
1981 was a bloody year in New York.
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Even Lillian could not escape
the violence.
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[grunts]
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[speaks indistinctly]
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[LaValle] She had seen something that day.
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[young Apollo] No, Daddy!
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[LaValle] Something she could never unsee.
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[echoing] Daddy! No!
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[young Lillian breathes shakily]
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[breathing shakily]
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[LaValle]
And it had changed her once more.
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[Brian]
I know what you did, Lillian. I know.
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So, you're really just gonna make me wait,
huh? [panting]
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[chuckles] Yeah.
You really make me crazy, you know that?
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Yeah, sweetie. Yeah.
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[William] See you later.
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[LaValle] She had been here before.
That night. That long ago, terrible night.
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This room that held a secret
she swore she'd never tell.
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But secrets want out,
and prices will be paid.
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That was your father's box.
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Someone left it at the door.
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[swallows]
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[smacks lips, coughing]
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[breathes shakily]
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[young Lillian]
So, tell me something else.
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What should I tell you?
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[young Lillian] Well, you can't know
anything until you know everything.
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So, everything it is.
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[LaValle] It was unimaginable
what had become of her.
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[inhales sharply, coughing]
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What now, Lillian?
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[LaValle] What now, Lillian? What then?
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Tell me your story,
and I will tell you who you are.
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- [gunshot]
- [gasps]
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[car tires squealing]
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[breathing shakily, panting]
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[LaValle] It wouldn't be the last time
she'd hold a dying man.
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If you're a stickler for numbers,
then this would be the first of three.
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It is a tremor leading to the quake.
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One person moves away, breaks free,
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creates a seismic shift in a family
and in the land.
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- But what is the cost of freedom?
- [sirens wailing]
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Had she been responsible for
all that happened after she fled Uganda?
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[soldiers yelling]
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[LaValle]
Could she have changed the course
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of her family's history had she stayed?
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[people screaming]
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[LaValle] But she had left.
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And after, The Butcher had seized power
from Obote
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- and delivered a massacre to her people.
- [breathing shakily]
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- [Idi Amin indistinct] ...they have to die.
- [LaValle] All were gone now. All gone.
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What god would make people suffer so?
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What god would bring her all this way
to smite her now?
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[breathes shakily]
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No god of mine.
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[gunfire]
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- [panting, grunting]
- [Lillian] Arthur.
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[breathing shakily]
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- [whirring]
- [gasps]
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[breathing heavily]
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[LaValle]
Lillian had known for a long time
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that there were realer things
than the King of Kings right here.
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[LaValle] She remembered the hope.
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The unbridled hope that everything
could be different in America.
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New York had opened a crack in her,
and the light had crept back in.
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- She found room to dream.
- [humming]
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[LaValle] Her grandmother had always said
she had a lovely voice.
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Maybe she could be a lounge singer
in a sparkling dress,
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belting out torch songs
in some dusty saloon.
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Maybe she would meet someone,
fall in love, have a bunch of kids.
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America the Great. The promised land.
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Apollo, I loved the place.
I believed in it.
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I could see what America wanted to be,
and I would kill to be American.
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But sometimes, most times,
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it made me feel
a little bit like I had to get smaller.
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Watch my words and my smiles.
Can't get too big, can't be angry.
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[whimpering] Don't you see?
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Can't be visible.
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- That's not our baby!
- [horns honking]
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Apollo, have you heard me say
"I love you" enough times?
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I've made some mistakes in this world.
You are not one of them.
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[Lillian] But I layered onto you,
even at your young age,
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my own... dis-ease.
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Unease.
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Fear.
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Don't get big. Don't speak loud.
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Don't tell a joke.
Don't be too serious either.
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Don't draw attention to yourself.
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Don't throw a tantrum in the store.
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Just don't do that.
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Apollo, at four years old you already knew
what it felt like to live life afraid.
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When I was four,
my favorite thing in the whole wide world
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was finding my jajja outside, hunched
over a big iron pot, turning mandazis.
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[sighs]
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You never tasted those, hmm?
Soft, fluffy doughnut clouds.
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Hot and spiced
with a little bit of cardamom,
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a little bit of cinnamon
and a lot of coconut milk.
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[Jajja] Can't make a mandazi
without getting an oil burn.
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[chuckles]
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[Jajja]
To make it taste perfect in the mouth,
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you must add
the too, too, too important ingredient.
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- Love.
- [Jajja] Love.
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She was an oracle. Had a life lesson
for every minute of the day.
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[Jajja] Lillian, the important thing in
life is what we do for the ones we love.
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00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:08,557
Lillian, don't let a man make you crazy,
'cause he will try.
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[chuckling]
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[people singing]
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[singing]
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00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:26,033
[Jajja] Lillian,
if you decide to eat a dog, eat a fat one.
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[LaValle] If we're lucky,
each of us has the memory of a kitchen.
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The warmth and aroma
of something being cooked with love.
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Regardless of who we are,
where we're from,
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00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:54,645
kitchen stove or iron pot,
we are all gifted this heirloom.
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If we're lucky.
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[inhaling deeply]
The pot is all that's left.
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There you go, honey.
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[Jajja] Lillian, ask help from the spirits
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when you have used all your strength.
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Apollo, I never made you mandazis. Why?
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00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:39,523
Because I wanted you
to like regular American kid food.
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00:15:39,523 --> 00:15:42,860
I wanted you to fit in
with your mac and cheese diet
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and your hot dogs
and your white bread PBJs.
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[rain pattering]
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But I made them with love.
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[sighs]
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[Brian] I know what you did--
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- [thunder rumbling]
- Storm is coming.
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00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:01,420
[banging on door]
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00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:03,505
- [Lester] Leak! Bucket!
- [metal clanks]
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00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:08,719
[person] It's pissing through the ceiling,
Lester. I got a fucking guest, man.
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00:16:08,719 --> 00:16:10,679
[Lester]
Oh, is that what we're calling them now?
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00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:14,266
You'll have to wait your turn, Angelica.
I'll get there when I get there.
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00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:17,686
[Angelica] Just like you, Lester.
You'll get there when you get there.
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00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:20,022
Take your snail-ass fucking time.
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00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,565
[Lester in French] Si tu savais, cher.
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00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:24,568
[Angelica, in English]
I know what those words mean, asshole.
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00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,945
[water dripping]
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00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:30,908
[bell rings]
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00:16:30,908 --> 00:16:33,327
- I want children.
- [young Lillian] Excuse me?
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00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:35,704
I want the chance to be
a good husband and a great father.
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00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:38,332
I think I could do that. You know?
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00:16:43,629 --> 00:16:44,922
[person] There you go, honey.
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[Lillian] Used to be advice passed
from woman to woman,
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00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:56,058
drawn from the well of her knowledge,
how we do this hard, hard thing.
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00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:58,644
- I reach back to my mother...
- [sniffing]
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00:16:58,644 --> 00:17:00,020
...and she holds my hand,
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00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:02,898
and she reaches back
to her mother before that.
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00:17:02,898 --> 00:17:06,818
A human chain of information
back and back and back.
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00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:07,819
[Brian] Lillian.
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00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:19,164
There was some cracked magic
in the air when I met your dad.
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00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:27,923
We'd come from far-flung places,
me from Uganda and he from Syracuse,
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00:17:27,923 --> 00:17:30,008
so we could fall in love in New York City.
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00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:31,718
[LaValle] Correction.
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00:17:32,261 --> 00:17:33,512
I loved your dad.
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00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:35,305
[LaValle] Correction.
234
00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:39,643
I can't tell you
what being in romantic love is.
235
00:17:40,853 --> 00:17:43,480
I never felt true happiness
or contentment.
236
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:48,652
All those tummy things people talk about?
I never felt those.
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00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:52,406
Just blank spaces.
238
00:17:53,991 --> 00:17:58,078
Only from my son were those holes filled.
239
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:05,460
Oh, I know
that was no good either, Apollo.
240
00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:08,714
Putting all that pressure on a child.
241
00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:13,051
Burdening you with the weight of
all of my happiness.
242
00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:15,637
Loving you more than
I can ever love myself.
243
00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:18,015
And sometimes-- sometimes...
244
00:18:22,019 --> 00:18:24,730
hating the burden of loving you too.
245
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:31,278
But us mothers mustn't speak of
such matters.
246
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,655
The divine inconvenience.
247
00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:38,577
[breathes deeply]
The grief, the sorrow, the regret.
248
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:47,628
The anxiety of caring for a child.
249
00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:53,926
[Lillian] Am I enough?
250
00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:02,726
You are a burrowed tick in my mind.
251
00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:08,982
And it occurs to me, a mother is something
I can never not be again.
252
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,571
[clicks tongue] Can I be mother enough?
253
00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:19,910
Well, now there is no choice.
254
00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:22,704
'Cause, kid, I'm all you've got.
255
00:19:27,793 --> 00:19:31,713
Of course, I had hopes and dreams.
256
00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:39,555
Don't we all grow up wishing on a star?
257
00:19:43,684 --> 00:19:45,602
I gave all my dreams to you.
258
00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:52,860
Okay. Before I tell you what I don't want
to tell you, let me first give him color.
259
00:19:57,489 --> 00:20:01,910
He was wounded deeply
by a mother who hated him.
260
00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:07,124
[smacks lips] I think of it,
and I wrap him in my mind's arms.
261
00:20:08,959 --> 00:20:10,627
- The dad was worse.
- [metal clanking]
262
00:20:12,796 --> 00:20:18,218
But the betrayal of the mother
was something he could never get past.
263
00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:26,101
Should have served as a red flag.
264
00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:30,814
I was color-blind.
265
00:20:33,442 --> 00:20:34,651
[metal clanks]
266
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:39,907
Your dad loved you with fire,
but he also got satisfaction
267
00:20:39,907 --> 00:20:43,952
from achievements and other worlds
that didn't orbit you.
268
00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:47,956
- I was-- I am jealous of that.
- [officer] Officer West, congratulations
269
00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:49,583
and thank you
for an outstanding performance.
270
00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,668
[Lillian] Your father kept a lot of stuff.
271
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,129
Stuff, stuff, stuff, boxes of it.
272
00:20:55,172 --> 00:20:58,217
[Lillian] As if things were proof
he led a meaningful life.
273
00:20:59,051 --> 00:21:01,929
Things filled the void left by parents
who couldn't love him.
274
00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:06,808
They say we are destined
to repeat our patterns.
275
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:10,729
[Lillian] And ta-da, he chose a woman
who couldn't love him either.
276
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,398
But I needed him.
277
00:21:14,608 --> 00:21:16,610
Needed him to cover my mistake.
278
00:21:21,657 --> 00:21:23,408
[slurps, swallows]
279
00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:26,954
- [breathes shakily]
- [bottle slams]
280
00:21:26,954 --> 00:21:32,376
There would be times I would look
at him and think, "I hate you."
281
00:21:34,711 --> 00:21:39,424
And other times, he was the guy I chose.
282
00:21:39,925 --> 00:21:44,096
Because, boy, I knew he would love you.
283
00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:50,602
Pushing away all those gut warnings
284
00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:53,564
that told me something
wasn't quite right with him.
285
00:21:55,274 --> 00:21:56,275
Something.
286
00:21:57,776 --> 00:22:01,405
I didn't see the fissures
that led to the quake.
287
00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:06,243
I didn't see the reasons he chose me.
288
00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:13,458
Perfect fit.
289
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,920
- [zipper closes]
- Wouldn't you know?
290
00:22:30,475 --> 00:22:31,560
He tells me--
291
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:35,772
You make me so angry I wanna punch
the walls till my fingers are powder!
292
00:22:38,150 --> 00:22:39,318
He also tells me--
293
00:22:39,318 --> 00:22:42,738
You shine a light on me so strong
that I am blinded by it.
294
00:22:43,488 --> 00:22:48,118
We live day-to-day
somewhere between those two extremes.
295
00:22:50,162 --> 00:22:52,831
[crowd cheering]
296
00:22:59,213 --> 00:23:01,131
[cheering continues]
297
00:23:17,397 --> 00:23:19,983
[thunder rumbles]
298
00:23:21,527 --> 00:23:25,280
- [electricity hisses]
- [sirens wailing]
299
00:23:29,076 --> 00:23:32,996
[Lester] Fucking cheap-shit broken city.
The hell we paying taxes for?
300
00:23:32,996 --> 00:23:35,958
[Angelica laughs] You never paid a cent
to the taxman in your life.
301
00:23:35,958 --> 00:23:37,209
[knocks]
302
00:23:37,209 --> 00:23:38,293
[Lester] Lady!
303
00:23:49,096 --> 00:23:51,056
[sick person groaning]
304
00:24:11,076 --> 00:24:12,494
[LaValle] That's someone's son.
305
00:24:15,330 --> 00:24:16,331
I know.
306
00:24:19,543 --> 00:24:24,256
[sick person breathing heavily, moaning]
307
00:24:30,971 --> 00:24:32,764
[LaValle] Who fills each role?
308
00:24:38,729 --> 00:24:39,730
And why?
309
00:24:47,112 --> 00:24:52,534
[breathes heavily]
Thank you. I'm scared of the dark.
310
00:24:53,535 --> 00:24:55,287
The morning always comes.
311
00:24:56,205 --> 00:25:00,959
I was beginning to think I didn't exist.
[panting]
312
00:25:03,128 --> 00:25:04,129
Is this heaven?
313
00:25:06,340 --> 00:25:07,841
The exact opposite.
314
00:25:07,841 --> 00:25:09,927
- [thud]
- [Angelica] I want my money back.
315
00:25:09,927 --> 00:25:13,096
I ain't paying for no goddamn room
with holes in the ceiling.
316
00:25:13,096 --> 00:25:14,973
Light and heat from candles?
317
00:25:14,973 --> 00:25:17,643
[Lester] No one else would have you
in their place, Angelica.
318
00:25:17,643 --> 00:25:22,481
[Angelica] Fuck you, Lester. Fuck you
and your shitty-ass excuse of a hotel.
319
00:25:22,481 --> 00:25:23,565
Where's your mama?
320
00:25:24,149 --> 00:25:25,734
She's in Massachusetts.
321
00:25:25,734 --> 00:25:27,361
[Angelica] I'm done with this place.
322
00:25:27,361 --> 00:25:30,697
I'm telling you,
I'm taking my business to The Duchess.
323
00:25:30,697 --> 00:25:33,283
- [Lester] I won't miss you.
- [Angelica] The Elk Hotel is a haven
324
00:25:33,283 --> 00:25:35,285
for roaches and rat shit.
325
00:25:35,285 --> 00:25:36,870
[stammers] If you get sick at The Elk,
326
00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:40,457
it's from dope smoke
and-and mold inhalation.
327
00:25:40,958 --> 00:25:43,710
The service is nil. You come here to die.
328
00:25:44,211 --> 00:25:46,547
- She never leaves.
- [Angelica] This here? This is a no-tel.
329
00:25:46,547 --> 00:25:51,844
That's my review. Zero stars!
Zero stars, you asshole!
330
00:25:52,511 --> 00:25:56,723
Where I come from, when you get sick,
your family takes care of you.
331
00:25:57,349 --> 00:25:59,977
Where I come from,
they used to burn witches.
332
00:26:02,312 --> 00:26:03,355
How you end up here?
333
00:26:04,439 --> 00:26:06,358
S-Series of wrong turns.
334
00:26:07,192 --> 00:26:08,318
You shouldn't be alone.
335
00:26:10,529 --> 00:26:12,072
I haven't slept in so long.
336
00:26:14,575 --> 00:26:18,537
When I can't sleep,
I pretend my bed is a boat.
337
00:26:19,913 --> 00:26:22,457
And the bed is drifting off to sea.
338
00:26:23,292 --> 00:26:28,380
I have to lie right in the center,
no limbs hanging over the sides,
339
00:26:29,089 --> 00:26:34,219
because otherwise a shark might jump up
and snatch a foot or an arm.
340
00:26:35,387 --> 00:26:37,598
That doesn't sound very relaxing.
341
00:26:40,017 --> 00:26:41,018
Maybe not.
342
00:26:43,020 --> 00:26:44,188
Why are you staying here?
343
00:26:44,688 --> 00:26:46,064
[Brian] I know what you did.
344
00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:52,196
[sick person breathing heavily]
345
00:26:53,363 --> 00:26:54,573
Can I get you some water?
346
00:26:55,073 --> 00:26:57,201
[breathing heavily]
347
00:26:57,910 --> 00:26:58,911
Anything?
348
00:27:00,579 --> 00:27:01,830
I miss my mom.
349
00:27:04,666 --> 00:27:06,793
[sighs]
350
00:27:09,171 --> 00:27:10,631
I'm gonna die tonight.
351
00:27:20,390 --> 00:27:21,391
Me too.
352
00:27:25,938 --> 00:27:26,939
Came here with Bill.
353
00:27:29,399 --> 00:27:32,236
I told my mom that it was
a bunch of us sightseeing.
354
00:27:34,321 --> 00:27:36,198
And Bill told his wife it was business.
355
00:27:37,574 --> 00:27:40,369
We'd heard about it. This thing
that had been affecting our people.
356
00:27:40,369 --> 00:27:41,828
Bill was scared. [stammering]
357
00:27:42,913 --> 00:27:45,707
I didn't tell him
that I'd started to feel bad.
358
00:27:47,084 --> 00:27:51,380
Badder, because, well,
we had tickets to see Lena.
359
00:27:53,465 --> 00:27:56,552
Third row. Right up front.
360
00:27:57,344 --> 00:28:00,806
And the idea of not experiencing
her "Stormy Weather," I don't know.
361
00:28:02,516 --> 00:28:04,101
The end of the dream was coming anyway,
362
00:28:04,101 --> 00:28:07,855
and not seeing her would somehow
mean that it had all meant nothing.
363
00:28:07,855 --> 00:28:10,232
All the anger
and the hiding and the confusion.
364
00:28:12,401 --> 00:28:13,819
We came in on a bus.
365
00:28:13,819 --> 00:28:16,613
People must've thought that he was my dad
or something.
366
00:28:17,114 --> 00:28:18,115
[chuckles]
367
00:28:19,283 --> 00:28:20,284
Then it happened.
368
00:28:22,202 --> 00:28:25,455
It was really sudden,
like a-- like a change in the weather.
369
00:28:25,455 --> 00:28:27,082
Just, the cough got bad,
370
00:28:27,082 --> 00:28:29,459
and the people started staring at me, disgusted.
371
00:28:29,459 --> 00:28:32,754
[stammers]
I was running a fever, sweat dripping.
372
00:28:33,547 --> 00:28:35,340
I could see the look in his eyes.
373
00:28:36,842 --> 00:28:37,843
That was two months ago.
374
00:28:37,843 --> 00:28:40,846
We stayed at a nice place
and then-- then his wife called.
375
00:28:40,846 --> 00:28:44,266
An emergency.
He had to go back, but he would return.
376
00:28:44,266 --> 00:28:46,226
He was gonna come back in time for Lena.
377
00:28:48,020 --> 00:28:49,021
And when he didn't...
378
00:28:51,064 --> 00:28:53,692
I just-- I tore that room apart
like a loaded rock star,
379
00:28:53,692 --> 00:28:55,027
looking for those tickets.
380
00:28:56,945 --> 00:28:58,447
Couldn't find them anywhere.
381
00:28:58,447 --> 00:29:01,074
I didn't have much money.
I kept having these blackouts.
382
00:29:01,074 --> 00:29:02,993
I know I should have used what I had left.
383
00:29:02,993 --> 00:29:04,077
I know I should've.
384
00:29:04,077 --> 00:29:06,038
I should've got a bus back home.
385
00:29:06,622 --> 00:29:07,748
But I couldn't do it.
386
00:29:08,749 --> 00:29:09,750
I couldn't.
387
00:29:10,459 --> 00:29:12,085
I couldn't do that to my mom.
388
00:29:14,254 --> 00:29:16,131
Just imagine what that would do to her.
389
00:29:16,632 --> 00:29:20,260
You know, seeing the perfect body
that she delivered into the world
390
00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:21,845
all rotted and ruined.
391
00:29:25,974 --> 00:29:28,977
So I found this place,
and I gave Lester the rest of my cash.
392
00:29:32,439 --> 00:29:34,650
I get that he has a wife
and all that stuff.
393
00:29:36,276 --> 00:29:37,319
I get it.
394
00:29:37,945 --> 00:29:38,946
But I wish...
395
00:29:40,697 --> 00:29:41,990
I just wish I could...
396
00:29:43,951 --> 00:29:46,578
I don't even mind it all ending
up here in this room.
397
00:29:47,162 --> 00:29:49,790
But I wish I could have seen her sing
"Stormy Weather."
398
00:29:51,416 --> 00:29:53,877
I wish I had that image in my mind...
399
00:29:55,504 --> 00:29:58,549
so that I could just picture it
at the exact last moment.
400
00:29:59,383 --> 00:30:00,384
You know?
401
00:30:02,094 --> 00:30:05,055
Like I could just imagine
Lena just holding that last note
402
00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:06,723
as the curtains finally close.
403
00:30:17,025 --> 00:30:19,403
[singing "Stormy Weather"]
404
00:32:19,815 --> 00:32:21,817
[singing continues]
405
00:33:49,738 --> 00:33:53,033
[rain pattering]
406
00:34:30,152 --> 00:34:31,196
Sleep tight.
407
00:34:37,327 --> 00:34:38,328
[blows]
408
00:35:27,044 --> 00:35:29,505
[LaValle] No. She would not pray.
409
00:35:29,505 --> 00:35:30,881
No god of mine.
410
00:35:32,591 --> 00:35:37,346
[Angelica screams]
411
00:35:37,346 --> 00:35:38,430
[Lester] Angelica!
412
00:35:38,430 --> 00:35:39,973
[Angelica strains]
413
00:35:39,973 --> 00:35:41,058
[Lester] Angelica!
414
00:35:41,058 --> 00:35:42,601
[chokes]
415
00:35:42,601 --> 00:35:44,728
[Angelica] Help me. Help me.
416
00:35:44,728 --> 00:35:46,563
- [William] Hey, man! Get outta here!
- [Lester] Hey! Let go now.
417
00:35:46,563 --> 00:35:48,482
- [Lester] Let her go right now.
- This has nothing to do with you.
418
00:35:48,482 --> 00:35:50,150
No one's ever gonna see you again.
419
00:35:50,150 --> 00:35:51,652
- You're gonna find yourself...
- I paid.
420
00:35:51,652 --> 00:35:54,112
...stuffed in a suitcase
at the bottom of a river. Get up!
421
00:35:54,112 --> 00:35:56,073
- Get up!
- Whoa! Hey.
422
00:35:56,073 --> 00:35:57,741
Hey, man. Come on.
423
00:35:57,741 --> 00:36:00,494
Hey. Dude! Put it down!
424
00:36:00,494 --> 00:36:01,954
[Lester] I'm gonna give you a shot
to get outta here.
425
00:36:01,954 --> 00:36:04,873
If you don't take it,
you see that stain on the wall over there?
426
00:36:04,873 --> 00:36:06,708
That's gonna be what's left of you too.
427
00:36:06,708 --> 00:36:08,335
Now, go! Go!
428
00:36:08,877 --> 00:36:10,754
[sobbing]
429
00:36:10,754 --> 00:36:12,881
- [gasps, shouting]
- Angelica. It's okay.
430
00:36:12,881 --> 00:36:14,800
- It's okay. I got you.
- [Angelica cries]
431
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,177
[Lester] It's okay. It's okay. He's gone.
432
00:36:17,177 --> 00:36:18,262
I got you.
433
00:36:19,096 --> 00:36:22,558
Who's gonna come find me?
434
00:36:22,558 --> 00:36:24,017
[Angelica cries]
435
00:36:24,017 --> 00:36:25,477
I don't exist.
436
00:36:25,477 --> 00:36:29,022
You do. I'm looking at you.
You're right where you need to be.
437
00:36:29,773 --> 00:36:33,735
- [breathes heavily]
- I got you. I got you.
438
00:36:42,327 --> 00:36:43,745
[LaValle] What would happen to her?
439
00:36:44,246 --> 00:36:45,789
What would she tell Apollo?
440
00:36:45,789 --> 00:36:47,165
How would she tell him?
441
00:36:49,626 --> 00:36:52,421
- [young Apollo cries]
- [young Lillian] I'm coming for you!
442
00:36:54,214 --> 00:36:56,133
Who's gonna help you shoot a basket?
443
00:36:57,926 --> 00:37:01,471
Who's gonna teach you the rules of
American sport games?
444
00:37:01,471 --> 00:37:03,724
Sandcastles I can do.
445
00:37:04,308 --> 00:37:05,767
Changing light-bulbs.
446
00:37:05,767 --> 00:37:08,187
Removing spiders from tubs.
447
00:37:08,187 --> 00:37:11,690
But handmade Father's Day projects
at school?
448
00:37:11,690 --> 00:37:13,317
What if something happens to me?
449
00:37:14,651 --> 00:37:16,236
What if I die in the night?
450
00:37:16,862 --> 00:37:18,530
No one will come for you.
451
00:37:19,031 --> 00:37:21,867
Because no one knows you're alone.
[sniffling]
452
00:37:24,244 --> 00:37:25,996
[sniffles, sighs]
453
00:37:28,624 --> 00:37:31,877
How do you tell a child
his daddy isn't coming back?
454
00:37:37,758 --> 00:37:41,762
Apollo, you felt he didn't want you,
455
00:37:42,721 --> 00:37:44,681
but it was precisely the opposite.
456
00:37:45,766 --> 00:37:47,184
He wanted you too much.
457
00:37:54,316 --> 00:37:57,778
You shine a light on me so strong,
I am blinded by it.
458
00:37:57,778 --> 00:37:58,862
[young Lillian chuckles]
459
00:37:58,862 --> 00:38:00,239
[Lillian] I need to explain.
460
00:38:00,989 --> 00:38:02,199
I need an explanation.
461
00:38:02,866 --> 00:38:04,243
It was a really hot day.
462
00:38:04,826 --> 00:38:05,827
Humid too.
463
00:38:06,870 --> 00:38:10,499
We took the tramway to Roosevelt Island
to have a picnic by the water.
464
00:38:11,917 --> 00:38:13,168
[young Lillian] Tuna salad.
465
00:38:14,461 --> 00:38:16,338
Huh. Kinda boring, huh?
466
00:38:17,172 --> 00:38:19,007
- [chuckles]
- [young Lillian] What did you say?
467
00:38:19,007 --> 00:38:20,509
[Brian] I ain't say nothing.
468
00:38:20,509 --> 00:38:23,554
And it was the first time
he didn't say anything that wasn't,
469
00:38:24,054 --> 00:38:25,722
"Oh, Lillian, you're so beautiful."
470
00:38:26,223 --> 00:38:28,767
"Lillian, you are a rose in a landfill."
471
00:38:28,767 --> 00:38:31,812
Hey, Lillian, you know this whole island
used to be an insane asylum?
472
00:38:31,812 --> 00:38:33,772
- No.
- Yeah.
473
00:38:34,273 --> 00:38:35,649
Luxury apartments now.
474
00:38:36,441 --> 00:38:37,442
Probably haunted, huh?
475
00:38:37,943 --> 00:38:39,820
- [young Lillian] Hmm.
- Hey, you see that right there,
476
00:38:39,820 --> 00:38:41,405
- the-- that lighthouse?
- Mm-hmm.
477
00:38:41,405 --> 00:38:42,614
That lighthouse right there,
478
00:38:42,614 --> 00:38:45,242
that used to light the way
for the ships bringing in the wackos.
479
00:38:45,242 --> 00:38:47,327
- Mmm.
- You know, you're pretty crazy.
480
00:38:47,327 --> 00:38:49,288
- [scoffs]
- You are certifiable.
481
00:38:49,288 --> 00:38:51,790
- [chuckles]
- I'd get you put in there. I could.
482
00:38:51,790 --> 00:38:52,875
You know, back in the day,
483
00:38:52,875 --> 00:38:56,712
husbands, they would have their wives
put in that place for, like, masturbation...
484
00:38:56,712 --> 00:38:59,798
[chuckles] ...or menstrual problems,
or even smoking. [laughs]
485
00:39:00,632 --> 00:39:03,093
- Except it's not funny, is it?
- Mmm.
486
00:39:03,093 --> 00:39:04,720
If you're one of those women?
487
00:39:04,720 --> 00:39:08,599
[LaValle] Novel reading,
ill-treatment by a husband, laziness,
488
00:39:08,599 --> 00:39:12,186
political excitement, asthma, bad company.
489
00:39:12,686 --> 00:39:16,899
You know, if something like that
ever happened to you, no one would know.
490
00:39:18,108 --> 00:39:21,111
Like, your family and that,
you know, because they're all gone.
491
00:39:21,987 --> 00:39:22,988
So sad.
492
00:39:24,990 --> 00:39:26,575
[Lillian] And it felt like a threat...
493
00:39:27,826 --> 00:39:30,037
and I felt a door shut inside of me.
494
00:39:31,538 --> 00:39:32,998
It's my fault...
495
00:39:35,042 --> 00:39:38,086
that I didn't listen to words
said over tuna salad
496
00:39:39,713 --> 00:39:41,632
on the banks of Roosevelt Island.
497
00:39:42,341 --> 00:39:43,342
His and theirs.
498
00:39:43,342 --> 00:39:46,512
[chanters]
A storm is coming. A storm is coming.
499
00:39:46,512 --> 00:39:48,096
A storm is coming.
500
00:39:49,473 --> 00:39:50,891
A storm is coming.
501
00:39:52,226 --> 00:39:53,685
A storm is coming.
502
00:39:56,313 --> 00:39:58,190
If I could teach you anything,
503
00:40:00,067 --> 00:40:01,485
it's to look for the signs.
504
00:40:03,779 --> 00:40:04,780
He said...
505
00:40:04,780 --> 00:40:05,948
You don't exist.
506
00:40:05,948 --> 00:40:07,199
Excuse me?
507
00:40:07,199 --> 00:40:08,116
Hmm?
508
00:40:08,116 --> 00:40:10,327
[Lillian]
And I started living in a kind of fear.
509
00:40:11,662 --> 00:40:14,122
He really didn't do anything wrong though.
510
00:40:15,249 --> 00:40:16,583
Apollo, know that.
511
00:40:17,876 --> 00:40:21,964
Not until-- Until he said...
512
00:40:30,472 --> 00:40:31,557
[door closes]
513
00:40:37,271 --> 00:40:39,022
[young Lillian] Apollo's finally sleeping.
514
00:40:39,857 --> 00:40:40,941
[Brian] Knock, knock.
515
00:40:40,941 --> 00:40:42,025
Who's there?
516
00:40:42,651 --> 00:40:43,944
Uh, banana.
517
00:40:44,444 --> 00:40:45,904
- [Lillian] Sometimes when I was sad...
- Banana who?
518
00:40:45,904 --> 00:40:48,323
- [Brian] Knock, knock.
- ...he would tell jokes, make me smile.
519
00:40:48,323 --> 00:40:49,908
- [young Lillian] Who's there?
- [Brian] Banana.
520
00:40:49,908 --> 00:40:50,993
[young Lillian] Banana who?
521
00:40:50,993 --> 00:40:52,911
[Lillian]
He was funny and sweet like that.
522
00:40:52,911 --> 00:40:54,162
Who's there?
523
00:40:54,162 --> 00:40:55,497
Orange.
524
00:40:55,497 --> 00:40:56,582
Orange who?
525
00:40:57,499 --> 00:40:59,251
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
526
00:40:59,251 --> 00:41:01,837
[young Lillian laughs]
527
00:41:01,837 --> 00:41:02,921
Hey, Lillian.
528
00:41:02,921 --> 00:41:04,006
Hmm?
529
00:41:05,841 --> 00:41:07,885
I will know you until we are dust.
530
00:41:09,094 --> 00:41:11,138
Why does that sound like a threat?
531
00:41:11,638 --> 00:41:13,724
[LaValle]
He'd found the receipt and confronted her.
532
00:41:13,724 --> 00:41:15,267
She'd sworn up and down
533
00:41:15,267 --> 00:41:19,479
she didn't know where that bill for a stay
at The Elk Hotel on 9th and 42nd
534
00:41:19,479 --> 00:41:20,564
had come from.
535
00:41:20,564 --> 00:41:23,275
- We'd just got together, Lillian.
- I don't know what this is.
536
00:41:23,275 --> 00:41:25,277
[LaValle] An affair in this shitty hotel?
537
00:41:26,111 --> 00:41:26,987
Laughable.
538
00:41:26,987 --> 00:41:28,655
He thought it was her boss.
539
00:41:28,655 --> 00:41:29,740
Charles Blackwood.
540
00:41:33,243 --> 00:41:34,953
- [LaValle] As if.
- [laughs]
541
00:41:34,953 --> 00:41:38,081
[LaValle] As if she would deign
to spend time in a place like this
542
00:41:39,291 --> 00:41:40,918
with a man like that.
543
00:41:40,918 --> 00:41:42,294
He's married.
544
00:41:42,294 --> 00:41:43,504
With two children.
545
00:41:43,504 --> 00:41:45,797
Oh, yeah?
You sure know a lot about him, huh?
546
00:41:45,797 --> 00:41:48,258
He keeps their pictures on his desk.
547
00:41:49,593 --> 00:41:51,970
You started saying
he was knocking at the door.
548
00:41:51,970 --> 00:41:53,096
[Brian] Knock, knock.
549
00:41:53,889 --> 00:41:55,641
I go back to work
when you are two months old.
550
00:41:55,641 --> 00:41:56,725
I have to.
551
00:41:57,351 --> 00:41:59,937
I'm shattered from getting up
through the night to feed you,
552
00:41:59,937 --> 00:42:01,563
and then working, and then home.
553
00:42:03,023 --> 00:42:04,066
I got angry.
554
00:42:04,775 --> 00:42:05,817
I scolded him.
555
00:42:06,818 --> 00:42:07,945
I withdrew.
556
00:42:08,862 --> 00:42:11,281
I planned. I plotted my escape.
557
00:42:12,407 --> 00:42:15,202
Apollo, if you ever have a child,
558
00:42:15,827 --> 00:42:19,456
the cruelest act
is to rip him from his mother, months old,
559
00:42:19,957 --> 00:42:21,542
and have her go back to work.
560
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:24,419
Don't ever do that, Apollo.
561
00:42:24,419 --> 00:42:26,046
Unless you wanna see crazy.
562
00:42:26,046 --> 00:42:27,214
[Brian] Knock, knock!
563
00:42:27,756 --> 00:42:28,757
We split up.
564
00:42:29,258 --> 00:42:30,634
That part's obvious.
565
00:42:30,634 --> 00:42:32,594
And now I see him in every color.
566
00:42:33,554 --> 00:42:35,222
[Brian] You are screwed now, girl.
567
00:42:35,222 --> 00:42:37,474
- You're going to wake my baby.
- "My baby"?
568
00:42:37,474 --> 00:42:39,643
[Lillian] I'm petrified
he will take my child from me.
569
00:42:39,643 --> 00:42:41,270
And I will never see you again.
570
00:42:41,270 --> 00:42:42,813
Everything seems lost.
571
00:42:42,813 --> 00:42:43,814
[stammers]
572
00:42:43,814 --> 00:42:45,858
He's the American I would kill to be.
573
00:42:47,025 --> 00:42:48,068
He has all the power.
574
00:42:49,611 --> 00:42:51,029
You're just like my mother.
575
00:42:51,029 --> 00:42:52,489
That's a stinging cut.
576
00:42:52,489 --> 00:42:55,868
I take the little scar, and I add it
to my collection of little scars...
577
00:42:55,868 --> 00:42:57,369
[pants] ...and I'm panicking.
578
00:42:57,870 --> 00:43:02,249
He speaks to me in this wary tone,
because he's convinced himself I'm crazy.
579
00:43:02,249 --> 00:43:05,878
He has to believe it,
so he can amputate me and take you.
580
00:43:06,420 --> 00:43:07,629
I would like to say...
581
00:43:07,629 --> 00:43:09,923
Fuck you! Who do you think you are?
582
00:43:09,923 --> 00:43:11,008
But I can't.
583
00:43:11,508 --> 00:43:13,468
I would like to smash him
in the fucking face,
584
00:43:13,468 --> 00:43:15,053
but he's the American.
585
00:43:15,053 --> 00:43:17,306
No one's coming to get you, Lillian.
You understand that?
586
00:43:17,306 --> 00:43:20,851
It is simple. Nobody's coming to get you
because no one who loves you is left.
587
00:43:23,187 --> 00:43:24,646
And then the earthquake erupts.
588
00:43:25,314 --> 00:43:29,902
He's come to visit you. It's a Saturday,
and he finds this hotel bill.
589
00:43:30,444 --> 00:43:34,448
And I can't imagine where he found it
unless he planted it on me himself.
590
00:43:34,448 --> 00:43:36,783
He's raging,
even though we're not together anymore.
591
00:43:36,783 --> 00:43:38,285
He's out of his mind.
592
00:43:39,203 --> 00:43:42,748
The vein bulging in his neck.
His eyes on fire.
593
00:43:42,748 --> 00:43:45,918
He's saying if he can't have me,
no one can.
594
00:43:45,918 --> 00:43:48,378
No other man is raising my son!
595
00:43:48,378 --> 00:43:49,505
[young Lillian] Your son?
596
00:43:49,505 --> 00:43:51,632
My son. I will take you to court.
597
00:43:51,632 --> 00:43:53,008
I will finish you, Lillian.
598
00:43:53,008 --> 00:43:55,511
You say goodbye. It is all over.
599
00:43:55,511 --> 00:43:58,805
I would never! Could never! Have never!
600
00:43:59,723 --> 00:44:01,266
When would I even have the time?
601
00:44:01,767 --> 00:44:04,520
What do you imagine sleeping with my boss
would actually do for me?
602
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:07,856
Liar! Liar! Liar!
603
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:09,900
You're all glamour, Lillian.
604
00:44:09,900 --> 00:44:12,986
You only appear as you wish to be seen!
605
00:44:16,323 --> 00:44:18,033
And then I come home one day.
606
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:21,870
I've bought a Happy Meal for you.
607
00:44:22,788 --> 00:44:24,414
You always ate the fries first.
608
00:44:26,917 --> 00:44:27,918
I come home...
609
00:44:31,129 --> 00:44:34,258
and I see something I can never unsee.
610
00:44:34,842 --> 00:44:36,969
- [young Apollo screams]
- [Brian yelling]
611
00:44:36,969 --> 00:44:38,053
[breathes shakily]
612
00:44:38,053 --> 00:44:40,180
And so I turn off the light.
613
00:44:41,723 --> 00:44:44,434
[Brian] Our bed was a boat
when we cannot sleep.
614
00:44:44,434 --> 00:44:48,438
But you, Lillian, you were the shark.
615
00:44:49,731 --> 00:44:50,732
[LaValle] A cop?
616
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,777
A white American cop, of all people?
617
00:44:54,653 --> 00:44:57,489
They would burn her for what she'd done.
They would vanish her.
618
00:44:58,073 --> 00:44:59,658
You are a fucking liar!
619
00:44:59,658 --> 00:45:00,909
But he's the American.
620
00:45:00,909 --> 00:45:04,371
[LaValle] Like the women before her
and the witches before them.
621
00:45:05,038 --> 00:45:06,373
I'm coming for you!
622
00:45:06,373 --> 00:45:08,083
- [young Apollo cries]
- [Brian grunts]
623
00:45:09,251 --> 00:45:10,252
[strains]
624
00:45:11,587 --> 00:45:14,590
[breathes heavily]
625
00:45:16,758 --> 00:45:17,885
[rain pattering]
626
00:45:17,885 --> 00:45:18,969
The answer is no.
627
00:45:20,846 --> 00:45:22,222
I can never be enough.
628
00:45:23,891 --> 00:45:27,269
The mom I want to be is not the mom I am.
629
00:45:31,023 --> 00:45:32,900
What I've taken from you, Son.
630
00:45:32,900 --> 00:45:34,776
- [young Apollo] Mommy!
- [Brian, Lillian grunt]
631
00:45:35,986 --> 00:45:37,404
What I've erased.
632
00:45:40,616 --> 00:45:42,784
[breathes shakily]
633
00:45:46,163 --> 00:45:47,873
The mom I am is just like he said--
634
00:45:49,416 --> 00:45:51,126
The mom I am--
635
00:45:51,126 --> 00:45:53,045
- [young Lillian] The mom I am--
- [Lillian] Hey!
636
00:45:53,045 --> 00:45:55,797
- [yelps, breathes heavily]
- No.
637
00:45:56,715 --> 00:45:58,926
No. No, no.
638
00:45:59,510 --> 00:46:01,803
This is not how Lillian's story ends.
639
00:46:01,803 --> 00:46:02,888
[cries]
640
00:46:02,888 --> 00:46:05,432
[Lillian] She came inside
and closed the window.
641
00:46:07,559 --> 00:46:10,771
Imagine the cheek of asking someone
to scrape you off the sidewalk.
642
00:46:10,771 --> 00:46:13,273
[cries] I can't. I can't.
643
00:46:13,273 --> 00:46:15,442
She came inside. Oh, my God.
644
00:46:21,949 --> 00:46:23,659
[young Lillian cries]
645
00:46:27,246 --> 00:46:28,413
Who are you?
646
00:46:28,413 --> 00:46:29,831
Bad things in this world.
647
00:46:30,874 --> 00:46:32,709
But nothing so bad is worth that fall.
648
00:46:33,627 --> 00:46:35,128
Brian West doesn't win!
649
00:46:35,128 --> 00:46:37,798
[breathing heavily]
650
00:46:37,798 --> 00:46:39,591
Just a dark night of the soul.
651
00:46:39,591 --> 00:46:42,553
Lillian had lost her connection
to anything higher.
652
00:46:42,553 --> 00:46:44,888
[young Lillian breathing heavily, crying]
653
00:46:44,888 --> 00:46:48,517
[Lillian] A dark night
calls for a spiritual response.
654
00:46:49,893 --> 00:46:52,354
Are you God? [breathing heavily]
655
00:46:53,355 --> 00:46:54,356
A lady God?
656
00:46:56,817 --> 00:46:57,818
I knew it.
657
00:47:00,988 --> 00:47:02,447
Are you here to punish me?
658
00:47:03,198 --> 00:47:07,369
[Jajja] Lillian, ask help from the spirits
659
00:47:07,369 --> 00:47:10,247
when you have used all your strength.
660
00:47:11,039 --> 00:47:14,585
[young Lillian cries]
661
00:47:15,085 --> 00:47:17,296
Do you think
you should be punished, Lillian?
662
00:47:17,296 --> 00:47:18,380
[young Lillian groans]
663
00:47:19,464 --> 00:47:21,133
Haven't you always felt that?
664
00:47:22,968 --> 00:47:23,969
Because you left.
665
00:47:27,264 --> 00:47:30,350
Because you survived.
666
00:47:32,186 --> 00:47:34,771
Because of the lie
you told to your husband and child?
667
00:47:34,771 --> 00:47:36,565
[cries]
668
00:47:37,107 --> 00:47:38,609
[Lillian] For all you've done?
669
00:47:39,359 --> 00:47:40,569
Should you be punished?
670
00:47:42,196 --> 00:47:43,572
[young Lillian] I'll believe.
671
00:47:44,281 --> 00:47:46,950
I promise I'll believe.
672
00:47:48,035 --> 00:47:50,370
Hail Mary, full of grace.
673
00:47:51,997 --> 00:47:53,415
The Lord, uh--
674
00:47:53,415 --> 00:47:54,791
Blessed is--
675
00:47:55,876 --> 00:47:57,044
I don't know this one.
676
00:47:57,044 --> 00:47:59,922
Attempting to leave your son
alone in this world?
677
00:47:59,922 --> 00:48:01,089
[young Lillian whimpers]
678
00:48:01,089 --> 00:48:02,341
Should you be punished?
679
00:48:04,468 --> 00:48:06,845
[breathes shakily]
680
00:48:06,845 --> 00:48:08,138
I'll make a deal with you.
681
00:48:10,057 --> 00:48:12,809
Please, I'll do anything.
682
00:48:15,187 --> 00:48:16,813
Are you here to tell me what to do?
683
00:48:17,731 --> 00:48:21,944
Lillian wondered,
was there another woman somewhere
684
00:48:21,944 --> 00:48:23,237
on her knees,
685
00:48:24,071 --> 00:48:27,950
making a deal
for the son that was lying in room 200?
686
00:48:30,911 --> 00:48:31,954
I won't leave.
687
00:48:34,164 --> 00:48:35,165
I am his mother.
688
00:48:37,793 --> 00:48:39,253
That's all I ever need to be.
689
00:48:40,921 --> 00:48:41,922
I'll be a good one.
690
00:48:43,465 --> 00:48:44,466
I promise.
691
00:48:44,466 --> 00:48:46,093
I'll be the best one I can be.
692
00:48:49,096 --> 00:48:50,138
I'll do anything.
693
00:48:53,392 --> 00:48:56,270
If you let me get away with this thing.
694
00:49:00,482 --> 00:49:04,152
If you-- If you make it go away, somehow.
695
00:49:06,989 --> 00:49:08,490
These deals we make,
696
00:49:10,325 --> 00:49:11,326
they're real.
697
00:49:11,827 --> 00:49:12,828
[sighs]
698
00:49:14,037 --> 00:49:19,543
What Lillian didn't know
was that 35 years from this very day,
699
00:49:20,127 --> 00:49:22,754
Apollo Kagwa would pay the price
700
00:49:22,754 --> 00:49:25,132
for the bargain
his mother made in this room.
701
00:49:29,219 --> 00:49:30,220
What did you say?
702
00:49:30,220 --> 00:49:31,388
Hmm?
703
00:49:31,388 --> 00:49:32,472
Nothing.
704
00:49:32,973 --> 00:49:34,683
The gods will take what they are owed.
705
00:49:35,225 --> 00:49:37,269
[Lester] You're gonna find yourself
stuffed in a suitcase
706
00:49:37,269 --> 00:49:38,604
at the bottom of a river.
707
00:49:45,611 --> 00:49:46,945
And then it came to Lillian.
708
00:49:47,613 --> 00:49:51,742
The answer to her problem
had been in this room all along.
709
00:49:53,035 --> 00:49:55,120
- She didn't need to confess.
- [sighs]
710
00:49:55,621 --> 00:49:57,372
[Lillian]
She didn't need to call the police.
711
00:49:58,624 --> 00:50:00,542
She didn't need to tell Apollo.
712
00:50:01,126 --> 00:50:04,338
She can make it go away all herself.
713
00:50:04,338 --> 00:50:06,381
[Brian] Oh, I know what you did, Lillian.
I know!
714
00:50:06,381 --> 00:50:07,633
Do be quiet!
715
00:50:07,633 --> 00:50:09,635
You don't get to win, asshole.
716
00:50:12,429 --> 00:50:13,680
Lillian realized
717
00:50:15,015 --> 00:50:19,561
that no one in the whole wide world
needed to know.
718
00:50:19,561 --> 00:50:20,771
Ever.
719
00:50:21,647 --> 00:50:24,942
She would go carefully, thoroughly.
720
00:50:26,068 --> 00:50:27,778
She had decided to eat the dog,
721
00:50:28,987 --> 00:50:32,533
and it was indeed a fat one.
722
00:50:35,953 --> 00:50:37,996
But for all his talk,
723
00:50:37,996 --> 00:50:44,628
Brian hadn't anyone who cared
whether he was alive or dead either.
724
00:50:50,050 --> 00:50:52,928
[sighs] There is nothing we will not do...
725
00:50:52,928 --> 00:50:54,763
[both] For the ones we love.
726
00:51:01,228 --> 00:51:05,524
Lillian remembered a long-ago promise.
727
00:51:07,025 --> 00:51:08,777
One she'd forgotten she made.
728
00:51:12,656 --> 00:51:15,158
I will never let anything happen to you.
729
00:51:17,995 --> 00:51:21,790
I will protect you
with my breath and soul.
730
00:51:23,333 --> 00:51:25,252
With every molecule.
731
00:51:27,713 --> 00:51:32,301
[breathes deeply]
732
00:51:44,271 --> 00:51:45,898
And she kept that promise.
733
00:51:49,151 --> 00:51:51,737
She was the mother she had vowed to be.
734
00:51:55,032 --> 00:51:58,619
And look, the sun is peeking through.
735
00:52:01,288 --> 00:52:03,081
Time to turn the light back on.
736
00:53:34,256 --> 00:53:37,259
["Solid Love" playing]
737
00:53:54,026 --> 00:53:58,113
[Lillian] Lillian could finally believe
that things were going to be better
738
00:53:58,113 --> 00:54:02,618
than they'd been since the day
she stepped foot on this country's soil.
739
00:54:03,202 --> 00:54:06,163
She felt American.
740
00:56:01,778 --> 00:56:05,282
[LaValle] It would be accurate to say
that Lillian's first child--
741
00:56:05,282 --> 00:56:06,533
and only child--
742
00:56:07,284 --> 00:56:10,913
was conceived
in the beautiful blur of 1977.
743
00:56:16,084 --> 00:56:20,088
In America, we rewrite history
by erasing it.
744
00:56:25,928 --> 00:56:27,930
But history will not stay buried,
745
00:56:29,014 --> 00:56:30,724
deals cannot be unmade,
746
00:56:32,017 --> 00:56:33,852
and gods will take their pay.