[old fashioned romantic music plays]
Another night in paradise
A huh
Where is everybody?
Dunno?
Probably doing something-
Yeah probably at home on their computers.
Downloading or steaming.
Streaming, yeah
Yeah, right
Well, it's killing us, you know?
You know, I read statistically that people would rather steam
cat videos on YouTube than rent a DVD!
Streaming, yeah
Well, they're taking a steaming shit on DVD rentals.
That much I do know
Gary! It's streaming.
Whatever!
STREE streaming
Whatever.
Just saying it's streaming
I dunno how much longer I can keep doing this?
Yeah you've said multiple times
My electricity bill alone is hundreds.
Well $1400's last month.
Wow! That much?
Well we may as well close up early then.
Really?
Yup.
Let's lock her up.
I'll get the A Boards in. [door bell chimes] Whoa whoa whoa!
Evening
Sci-fi nerd?
Nah, I bet he's headed for the porn section
Yeah... bet he wouldn't have the strength.
BOTH: Heh heh heh
Oh romance!?
How are ya?
Yup
Got a Members Card?
Ahh... not today, bud
Ok
Whoa, whoa!
Empty the register.
You've got to be flipping joking!
Just fucking flipping do it mate!
Come on!
Fuck!
Is that it!
Well most people pay by credit card genius!
Don't fucking mess with me, old man.
Old man!?
Just don't FUCKING mess with me OK?
Oooo Kaaay
Wallets
Do it! Fuck.
That's optimistic!
Is that it?
Umm he doesn't pay much.
Fuck'n yours.
All my money was in the till. Have to say business is bad.
Maybe, you knob jockeys should get a better fucking job?
At least we have a job.
What?
I said. Nuh nothing.
Anything else?
No wonder these places are closing down huh?
Fucking pathetic!
We're pathetic?
We're not the ones robbing a video stor...
Gary shut up!!
Fuckya!
Fuckya... [door bell chimes]
[ Cheerful in-store music plays ]
What the hell?
So...?
Still closing up?
Yeah, close up.
[Upbeat 50's guitar surf music plays] [Drilling into wood]
You watch movies on an iPad, alone?
Well, yeah.
You seriously need to get a girlfriend Andy
Not that it's any of your business but... Camera!
So what did the pigs say?
Police! Andrew!
Show some bloody respect! They don't frigg'n care.
They give up on crimes that don't involve a death or two
You reckon?
Too much trouble for them?
They'd rather let the thieves and murderers run rampant.
It's "Lord of the Flies" out here, my boy.
Lord of the w-what?
It's every man and woman for himself.
I think you're exaggerating, Gary.
Real bad guys come to a sticky end or get caught.
Don't they?
They have to
Cinema has happy endings, kid.
In Reality - well?
You watch too many movies, Gary.
You think?
Okay, so I have to ask.
What with all the cameras?
Not taking any chances
if I'm going to get robbed.
I want the scumbags on hard-drive.
Then we'll see who has the last laugh hey?
Yeah. Probably the con man who sold you these cameras.
What?
Nothing
That's it.
You ever thought of doing something else, Gary?
I mean, you're not getting any younger, right?
Thanks.
Another job?
Hmm.
Na, this is all I know.
Here. I can soak it all up, keep my finger on the community pulse, so to speak.
Why?
Well, I'm a filmmaker.
Made many films?
Several short films.
I made a feature in '97 Love in a Butcher Shop.
Rom com. Could have been huge, but it was ahead of its time.
A love story with meat...
god, that's romantic.
Was it a sausage shop?
Ah ha ha ha, very funny.
Successful?
Not in the way you mean, no.
Financially no.
You see it required too much of an emotional investment from an audience.
Oh, it was boring then.
I'm not going to talk to you if you're going to be a smartarse!
No no sorry.
Nup
Did it show in many cinemas?
D to V
What?
Direct to video.
Oh
Oh what?
Nothing
You see, that's the trouble with you kids nowadays.
You've been spoon fed this noisy kaleidoscope of big Hollywood films.
If it doesn't have superheroes
and action, sex and violence with a booming soundtrack.
Well!!
Well, that's what the 'peoples' want, Gary.
No one wants to fork out hard earned money to watch shit and be put to sleep.
Fuck off!
You see... all that crap...
It's not realistic my boy. Where's the truth?
It's all pretend, Gary.
Wash your mouth out.
I want to get lost in the cinema again.
I want - suspense, love, tragedy.
I want it to be real.
I...
I want to believe again.
Well, why own a video store,
if you hate modern films?
You can still deal drugs and not be an addict.
Mmm, Yeah, right.
Uggh, anyway,
I've got to go and see my supplier, get some more stock.
You 'right to look after the fort?
You don't have a date to go to, do ya?
Ah well-
Oh, who am I kidding?
Of course you don't.
Now if I'm not back by 9:30, lock up for me alright?
Hey.
Thanks,
Kemosabe.
[ Upbeat nerdy organ music ]
[ Clicking of keys on computer keyboard ]
[ Motorbike approaches ] [ Slow tense rock guitar plays ]
Get off me, for fuck's sake!
[ Door bell chimes ]
How about...?
Harry Met Sally?
How about when Harry... ate Sally?
Gross.
This?
No
This?
Fuck off.
[ Can rattles and rattles, spins and stops ]
[ Gentle romantic piano music ]
What the fuck you looking at, huh?
Nothing. Huh?
Okay, well, let's have a good look.
Get off me!
What?
Here get this!
What?
Get up and get this you stupid fucking bitch, alright?
Oh wait, w, wait... make it quick huh
We don't have all night.
Got ya card?
Yeah, yea
[ Gentle romantic piano music ]
It's just four dollars
thanks
[ Gentle romantic piano music ]
[ Ominous guitar music ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Motorbike starts and drives away ]
[ Motorbike burns rubber ]
[ Upbeat playful guitar music ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
Hi. I'm just here... about, about the job.
Oh! Ahh, dammit!
Ahh that's supposed to be taken down.
The job's actually gone. S'been filled
Oh
Someone's got it
Oh, okay.
[ DOOR BELL CHIMES ] I do not like the day lights
I can only work at night
somewhere in the dark
in de night Ha ha ha ha
[ Door bell chimes ]
FORTUNE TELLER: If I get the job I can read your palm and tell your future!
FORTUNE TELLER: Let me look!
GOTH GIRL: My hobbies include self-harm listening to death metal and witchcraft.
On my good days,
I like to crush daisies and use them as bookmarks.
[ DOOR BELL CHIMES ] KIM: Hi, if I take this job can I take home lots of sexy movies?
What?
This place...
is an absolute relic, it's so um...
desperate, like me.
Can't work Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and weekends, though,
because those are the days I do Zen Do Kai and aerobics.
It's not like I'm a bad person or nothin.
No, I didn't say that.
It's just, the job's gone, so...
Did you just take a lighter?
No I didn't!
Yeah, I think you did there was a red one...
Oi!
[ Door bell chimes ]
She just...
But I'll let you know now.
GOTH GIRL: before things get messy
I have a boyfriend
Yeah. Umm.
Ha ha ha
Six, seven, eight.
At the, Video, Store renting a movie,
gonna get some popcorn, have a good time.
Drama... Can I just stop you right there, please. Just for a second.
Ummm How can I help you?
The fucking sign?
Oh, um... yes.
See, that was supposed to be taken down.
Shouldn't actually be there. The job's been taken. So...
You lying little monkey. Position has been taken.
Oh, position filled
And what would that be sweetie
I'm sort of up for anything.
The jobs gone
It's gone?
Yeah well, you know what?
Maybe you should tell people that at the beginning, huh?
I gave some my best material just now, and it's.
It's take, take, take. Why do people do that?
I didn't. I didn't wanna...
It's a rhetorical question Bitch!
What's fucking point!
Oooh Andy, you bit off more than you could chew that day
[ Suburban night street sounds ]
[ Gentle romantic piano ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Gentle romantic piano ]
Hello. What have we got here?
Hi.
Ahh... I've come about the job.
Oh, yeah, just. Umm
Just fill one of these out.
Just... just down here
These please
You got a ahh... card?
Yes
Would you like a bag with that?
Ah, yes, please.
Thank you.
[ Door bell chimes ]
All done?
Mmm.
Ok
Umm... You left out your last name.
Yeah, I know... ah...
Do I have to? Is that important?
Nah, umm it.. it probably is.
Sorry. It's just.
Promise you won't laugh.
Okay.
It's Frigineze
What?
It's Italian. My Dad was Italian.
And you're laughing?
No umm. Um, how do you spell it?
F r I g
Frig
You know what... why don't I just do it other wise we'll be here all night.
You got your email and phone number? [ RUBBER BANANA SQUEAKS ]
Okay, um that should be... good.
Thanks... ahh... when will I hear from you?
Ummm... the boss will probably call you in for an interview...
and he'll pretty much take it from there so...
So... [rubber banana squeaks]
Have you had many other applicants?
A few, yeah
Hardly any, really.
Okay, great.
I'll see you soon.
Yeah.
Yeah, no problem.
Actually. Why?
Like why do you want to work here?
Well,
I like movies
and I need the money
and break from bad boys.
But you're not a bad boy are you?
I mean... yeah a little.
No, I'm not
Good.
No other reason?
No why?
Oh nothing...
You know, working here might change your attitude
...about movies.
About movies, I mean, and not for the better.
I think I'll take that chance.
[ Door bell chimes ]
What are you're doing now?
Oh Andrew... very clever.
[ Nerdy organ music ]
Just scan it like that.
Run it through there a couple of times.
Give it to the customer, and that's it.
And if you have any other questions, you can just ask Andy over here.
I prefer Andrew.
Actually.
Right... ahhh...
Who you've already met.
Hi.
Hi again.
All right. Um.
Good luck, kids. Heh.
No funny business.
Well, unless, of course... um... ahhhh... good luck!
Ahh... anyway.
Let's get to it.
Okey dokey.
[nerdy organ music]
Excuse me service, clerk
Do you have Next Gen series two on Blu?
Umm... Just let me check.
[ Coughing loudly]
Nah, it's okay.
Win 8 or 10?
What?
Windows 8 or Windows 10?
Oh, I don't know.
I just know how to turn it on.
Ah... no, it doesn't look like we have it.
Sacrilege!!
And you call yourself a video rental shop?
Yeah, we do.
Fffftt! More like a space anomaly void of viddy's
from the filmdrome.
Ahhh... Can I help you with anything else?
So when's that penultimate edition Trek TOS on BLU coming in?
I don't know.
Your Captain said it would dock this week! Stardate 72027.4
That's today, to civilians.
Umm... Well, it hasn't. So...
Do you follow the current Trek?
Nah man, come on give me a break.
So, do you?
No!
I like the 60 series, but... Next Gen, that bald guy
just comes across as too much of a limp dick and
the new films are just trying to copy Star Wars so...
Wash your mouth out!
Well, they are!
Setting for stun!
Star Wars is better anyway.
Say that again.
I dare you.
Star Wars is...
Look.
Can you please stop?
Can you just stop that?
Can I help you with anything else?
[ Keyboard tapping ]
Hi there.
Do you have "Shriek of the Mutilated" or
"Sorority House Massacre"?
Shriek...
Nup, doesn't look like it.
"Sorority House Massacre".
Sorry. Sorry. No.
How about "I Eat Your Skin"?
And that's not a request, baby.
Ha ha.
What happened to the... the gore fest of the eighties and nineties anyway?
I dunno.
The eighties and nineties man...
those were the days!
You know... popcorn and mixed lollies and...
and an old VHS tape in a sweaty, plastic case.
I, I have a movie idea, but should I tell you?
You know what? I'm kind of busy.
Won't take a second.
[ Keys tapping ]
I'll just liked the way that Kirk handled things
he'd just go the 'old school way'
and use his fists to get the job done!
Oh! Sensors detect a Caveman!
Oww!
Violence should always be the last resort.
It's not after short attention span audiences.
It's cerebral, it's challenging.
It asks questions.
I have a question.
What did Spock find in Kirk's toilet?
A Tribble?
The Captain's Log.
What did they also find in his pants?
A Klingon.
He he.
Ha ha ha
[ Slush puppie gushing ]
It'll never be the same for us old timers.
It's like losing your virginity.
You can only do it once.
You can only die once too!
Not in the movies, Devochka!
Science fiction, motion pictures and superhero movies are huge!
What does that tell you? I'll tell you what it tells you!
It says people want villains defeated
defined heroes and heroines with romance and happy ending.
Or maybe people just want to escape from their otherwise meaningless, boring and lonely lives.
Oh, I didn't mean, you... no, I meant
in general.
[ Nerdy in-store music plays ]
[ Phazer powers up ] [ rap music plays ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Laid back 50's surf guitar music ]
Hey kids!
Hold up a sec.
Now remember.
Some of these peeps are our 'bread and butter.'
What!
Well you know, customers like 'Horror Nut' and 'Trek Nerd'.
Try not to make fun of them, okay?
We know they're pathetic! But try not to alienate them.
Sorry, boss.
I just can't help it sometimes.
Yeah sorry.
Hey kids!
With downloads killing us.
We've only got a few more years left to stay afloat.
So film buffs of any persuasion are our friends...
Got it?
Got it.
That treat them with respect and dignity.
And remember, it is our privilege to provide them quality entertainment
and assorted confectionery at a reasonable price.
Ok. He he
Hey Andy!
Can you put that new box collection of Hitchcock
classics down on aisle three next to the soft porn? Okay?
Somebody might confuse the word cock with... and rent one by mistake.
Yeah tomorrow, or?
Yeah, whatev's.
[ Gentle romantic piano music ]
You don't say much, do you?
I usually only speak when I have something to say.
Okay.
So you still seeing that ah... tough guy?
Oh, no.
Broke that off just after... you know.
Yeah,
I felt bad for, like, not doing
or saying anything.
You're sweet.
He would have killed you.
Who's that gonna help?
So you're not seeing him anymore?
I said no.
Why do you ask?
Oh.
Nothing.
So.
Andy,
tell me about you. Hobbies?
Got a girlfriend?
No girlfriend.
Who needs 'em anyway, I say
it's just a hassle if you ask me.
Yeah.
I ah...
I play guitar in a band.
Really?
Yeah.
You need a singer?
Oh, um, we already have one.
He's a douchebag! But...
he's ours.
What kind of singer?
Like, (softly) La la la!
Or, (death metal) La la la!
Ha ha, um
(Death metal) La la la!
Right.
So the dark stuff?
Mmm, dark is it gets.
Angry lyrics, then?
No kind of hopeless
for me it's just the way things are, you know, like with global warming
and lack of NBN in my area.
Oh, you're not joking.
I can't tell with you sometimes.
You don't seem like a sad person.
I just don't have a really good view on society or people in general.
And working here doesn't help.
I mean, a couple of late nights here and you really get to see the underbelly
if you know what I mean.
Bet you're a lot of fun at parties Tiger.
What parties?
You know, Andy, you've gotta learn to lighten up.
Live a little. Live in the moment.
It's not so easy.
You don't know unless you try,
It can't kill you.
...can't kill you.
[ Street sounds - police siren passes by ]
Hey!
Bad news?
Hmmpt.
You wouldn't even believe it.
What?
Our 'dead shit' singer quit our band.
I told you I could sing.
Okay.
Sing me something.
[gentle piano music] What? Right now?
Yeah.
Rent me at this last shop.
Come on, and rent me at this last shop.
Hehe
Ha
Okay,
so how?
Like...
Where did you learn to sing?
I... sing in the shower, I guess.
Oh, yeah.
So, go on.
I wouldn't want to bore you.
No, it's not. It's...
it's not boring.
Ah Nah.
Hey, I shared earlier.
Is that the time?
Umm
I'm gonna go.
I'll see you tomorrow?
Okay.
Okay, well, you're telling me tomorrow, then.
I hope she doesn't make a habit of leaving this early.
She has to be somewhere.
Anywhere but here hey?
Mmm.
I couldn't help but overhear your conversation earlier.
Oh yeah., how 'd you manage that?
Oh, the sound must travel upstairs, anyway.
What's with all your doom and gloom spiel?
What do you mean?
Well you and Stacy?
What?
Well all that crap about dark music and hopelessness,
I mean, are you deliberately trying to make you think you're a tool?
No.
I mean, are you?
No, I'm not trying to make her think I'm a too... Andy!
Women don't want all that depression crap.
They want to laugh.
They want to be entertained.
I'm not a performing clown, Gary.
Apparently, you're just a clown.
Now look,
sometimes you have to be a, a... a performer!
The courtship game is... is all an act.
The courtship?
It's not 1920.
Do you like her?
What?
Well, I know you like her
I mean, you'd have to be gay or clinically dead, not to.
Yeah.
Now, listen, I'm going to give you some advice.
Now, I normally wouldn't bother, but it's obvious you need some direction, my boy.
Gary I really don't need...
Now just shut up and listen.
Now, firstly, cut out all this teenage angst and depression crap!
I mean, girls want dependable, strong adults, not whining infants.
Gary, you can't talk to me like that...
Secondly, ask her some personal questions.
Listen, and nod seriously as she answers.
See, women love to hear themselves talk, so this shouldn't be too much of a problem.
And what this displays is your caring, stroke, sensitive side.
Caring stroke, sensitive side.
I know it's a paradox, but women like both the masculine and the feminine together,
which means you have to be a good actor.
You mean liar.
Whatever. And always be totally in awe of everything she says.
As if you were listening to the Virgin Mary or Marilyn Monroe
or, or, or Katy Perry, and then...
get her to ask you some questions.
And once you've got her attention...
ignore her
What?
You ignore her.
Okay, that's what I thought you said.
You've showed her your sensitive side by patiently listening to her tales of woe.
And then when it's your turn to talk, you clam up. Drives the women crazy.
Well, she'll think you're an enigma and simply have to have ya.
Bullshit!
It's not the bullshit, it's THE shit!
Now remember, be strong, listen
and then ignore her.
[ Drum beats fades into playful in-store music ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
Hey Frigineze! Like your new outfit!
Looks BOSS!
Thanks.
I went shopping at this totally sick new place in the city.
It's the new me.
What do you think?
Totally sick. [ STACY LAUGHS ]
So what's the job tonight?
Ah well, Gary's got a bunch of new stock out the back
that needs to be brought in and labeled so... (clicks teeth)
You want to show me?
Ahh, it's just out the back near the coffee machine.
Do you want to show me?
Ah, It's just out the back near the coffee machine.
[ Playful in-store music ]
Don't get up! I can manage.
Mm... kay
So, Stacy... it's your turn to spill the old jelly beans.
Where'd you hail from?
Why?
I'm interested.
I grew up on a cattle station
In Lake Nash in the N.T.
Ah cool.
Not cool.
Seven kids in a sweaty worker's cottage.
Too small for a family of three.
We got by.
Nice place?
Yeah. If you're a masochist.
Nice neighbors, or...?
We lived on a cattle station...
...miles from civilization.
How could we have had neighbors?
So you had a big family?
Seven kids I said.
That's a... four dollars thanks.
Andy...
you're not a real good listener are you?
Huh?
So how'd you get out of there? [ DOOR BELL CHIMES ]
We moved to Brisbane just after my father died in a car crash.
That's terrible.
How old were you?
Fifteen.
Whoa
My stepmother was a fucking witch,
so I was out of there soon after, and...
I never looked back.
That's really sad, Stace.
I don't know how I would have coped growing up without my parents.
I'll be back in a tick my Droogs.
[ Door bell chimes ]
So... have you seen any good bands lately?
Umm... (cough) nah, not really.
The Reverend's are playing in the Valley tomorrow night.
And I was wondering...
Well, we better get back to it. Can't sit and chit chat all day.
Yeah, right.
What's wrong with you today?
One minute you're nice and the next you're a total arsehole!
And they say women are fucking fickle.
(Whispered) Fucking Gary
[ Door bell chimes ]
Not again!
What?
Stay down.
Get off me what the fu...!
Shhh quiet!
This is a robbery Sunshine open the register,
empty it, and hand over your phone and wallet!
Come on, cup cake!
I said now, not 'Now Now'!
Hey! What are you reaching for?
Keys! Keys to the register.
Is it?
Yeah.
Hurry it up.
Ok, come on!
Is that it?!
That's it!?
Yeah, not many punters today.
Probably because the footy's on.
What!?
Damn it! He's right.
What teams are playing again?
Hey, shut up!
Now, give me your phone and your wallet and make it snappy.
Holy... shiznit! It's the cops!
Pearl Jam there, must have fingered a silent alarm!
You dirty little grub. Hey!
Say good night, my bro!
Wait!
What the? What are you...
What are you doing down there?
What kinda place are you running here?
There's no silent alarm, he was just protecting me!
Oh, Oh, they're going into the pizza place!
Is there a back way out of here?
Yeah, but it goes straight past Giuseppes.
Giu-Giu-Giu wh... Gui-WHAT?
The-the-the pizza place.
What?
What's with all the bloody cameras?
Security.
Security!? Ha!
S-Security!? Ha ha ha!
Heh heh heh.
It's fricking overkill if you ask me!
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Oooh! They're out!
Ooh, they're coming closer!
Oh... no, it's okay.
They just stopped at the newsagents! This is FUCKED!!
S'alright! Just relax! Ooh! They're getting back into their patrol car!
Gees!
They've started the car!
They're going!
They're GOING!
And...
they're gone.
Okay, let's split.
Thank you very much for your patience.
This has been real,
real nice.
Come on!
Wait for me!
You WAIT for ME!
How where you so calm?
Heh.
It's not the first time we've been robbed.
Still, my heart's beating like a horse though.
Mine too! Really gets the adrenaline pumping.
A huh.
So... anything exciting happening, kids?
What?
This can't keep happening, Kate.
Where's the bloody well "Protect and Serve".
That's the USA, Gary.
Here, it's "With HONOR we serve".
Well, we're the only ones copping a serve,
and it ain't pretty!
Brett.
We're looking into it Gary 'me old son'.
200 and something dollars!
Plus all the loose change the boy had left in his wallet!
And my staff could have been killed!
Now I want to know, what-in-the-hell are you going to do about?
Well, with your extensive security footage and the accompanying audio,
we've got more than an average chance of matching suspects.
How many cameras do you have?
Ten all up. Eight inside and two outside.
Why so many?
I wanted every angle of my store covered.
And if I'm going to be giving stuff away, I want it all on hard disk.
That's a bit excessive, don't you think?
Well no, I don't.
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ A distant police siren ]
Come on, Stacy. We've been through a holdup together.
So why do you have no fear?
Why?
I had a really violent upbringing.
My parents fought like heavyweights,
and, when they weren't laying into each other, they where laying into me.
...became numb to threat,
I guess.
That's horrible.
Did you ever think of getting help... or something?
Maybe.
Damage already done Tiger.
I find it hard to get emotional about anything.
Is that detachment,
why are you date psychos like Damian?
Ugh! No Dr Phil.
No. (sigh)
I once found some photos amongst his things.
Monitoring ordinary people going about their day to day lives.
Sooo... like a pervert?
No.
Maybe?
[ Car approaches ]
There were folders
of addresses and schedules,
and there'd be new folders every week.
So you think he was, like, some sort of hitman or something?
Honestly,
I don't know.
Holy crap, Stacy! Talk about turning a blind eye!
We'll it's better than turning a black eye.
Yeah.
Yup,
yup,
I... I will.
Thanks, Detective.
Well, that's that.
Cops said that my security footage
will probably end up on the local evening news tonight.
So... pretty radical hey!
Radical dude.
Anyway, no more moping about.
Let's get back to it.
Oh, Gary, I'm
still a little shook up from yesterday.
I was wondering if I could go home early.
So long as it's cool by Andrew.
Oh umm, sure. Yeah.
Thanks.
[door bell chimes] Strange girl, that one
You're telling me?
Very strange.
[ Ominous music ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
Oh...
is that overdue?
Oh, yeah.
So does that mean I have to pay, like, a overdue fee or something?
Well, normally you would, but you can just pay it next time you come in.
Oh...
How about you fix it...
so I don't have to pay at all?
Sure.
You like working in a video store?
S'alright...
If you like long hours and no money.
Must get a lot of weirdos in here, huh?
Just regular people, I guess.
Do I look like regular people to you?
Umm... no.
Well... what do I look like?
Um, a little dangerous.
A little.
Well.
Dangerous.
Ahh.
[slaps counter] Dangerous!
I like that.
No, I think I like you, kid. You're honest.
And if there's one thing I admire in a bloke, it's honesty.
What's your name?
Andrew.
Well, Andy,
let me ask you a question.
Seen any girls around lately?
I've seen a lot of girls.
This one isn't 'lots of girls'.
She's tall, blonde, ooft, banging body,
named Stacy.
Seen her?
Um?
Well, have you or haven't ya?
No.
I...
haven't.
Now you sure?
Yeah,
I'm sure.
All right.
Walt! Tiny!
[ Door bell chimes twice! ]
This is Walt!
So called, because we think he looks like Walt Disney.
And this... this is Tiny,
so called because...
Why do we call you that again?
Because I have a small dick!
Let me show you something Andy.
Where?
Outside in the car.
Oh, I can't leave the front desk.
Oh, should be right.
It'll only take a sec.
No, really, I-I-I can't leave the...
Do as he says, kid.
Good.
Now like I said before, Andy, I like you.
I like your honesty.
I mean, some fellas are just never straight with a bloke.
Know what I mean?
I mean, if I had a dollar for every... so-and-so,
who's lied to me over the years.
Well... I'd be the Mayor of Brisbane.
I'm not sure it works that way.
What?
Nothing.
In the end it all comes back to honor, without honor...
Well?
We're no better than the fuck'n animals.
(Muffled) Hey. Hey! Hey, help, hey, help!
Ooh, scared ya!
Now, like I was saying, Andy, honor
and honesty above all else.
(muffled) Help me!
Oh that! Ha.
That's just a bit of a... practical joke.
Don't you watch Candid Camera? Heh heh.
Get in the car. (muffled pleading)
Just a bit of a lark mate. (muffled pleading)
Oh and Andy!
If you see Stacy,
tell her I'm looking for her.
Got that?
Good boy.
[ Muffled pleading from car trunk ]
[ Car tires squeal then burn rubber ]
[ Calm uplifting music ]
And then she says to me, no, no,
I want the Romeo and Juliet with the rock music and the Hawaiian shirts.
I mean, here she is studying the works of the Bard and she wants to rent an MTV
inspired load of 'excuse my French' crap, which literally suffocates Shakespeare!
I thought it was pretty cool.
Well, you would. Not that it's your fault.
Your generation's just never been taught to think for themselves.
I think for myself.
When?
All the time.
Choosing which app to install on your phone is not thinking for yourself Andrew.
Right.
So ah... what do you do in your spare time?
You don't wanna know.
Fine.
Well,
I'm actually writing a docudrama about true love.
It's touching, earnest, hopeful
and most of all, classy.
Really?
As we fuck'n speak!
It's going to be real to use your speak
fully sick, bro.
But... sometimes I wonder what the point is with all this flashy foreign product,
who's going to care about ordinary people and their trials and tribulations?
I know what's eating you.
With that video store closing down...
in Yatala... this must be like one of the last ones left.
Yeah, is only three left now in the whole city.
S'that all?
But who's counting?
Downloads are killing us slowly.
End of an era, Gary.
Same thing happened with Drive-Ins.
Yeah, Cinemas will be next.
Never!
So what's this you're watching?
'Trailer Park Psycho.'
It's about the day to day adventures of a narcissistic psycho killer.
So now this is exactly the point I'm trying to make.
What kind of message is this?
Mmm, beats me?
See, in the old days, movies had heroes with principles and good moral values.
I don't know.
Back then, everything seemed, clearer and less complicated.
You mean black and white?
Well, you said it yourself, Gary.
The real world isn't like that.
It's grey.
In the real world, people do horrible things and get away with it.
Mmm.
Happens every day.
(Coughing)
Oh, excuse me.
Umm... did you happen to have any cooking shows?
Like umm...
'Big Sausage, little Taco'?
Oh! 'It takes three to make a spit roast'. Hmm Hmm.
Ok. What about some, um,
some, you know, removalist programs like 'How much can you shove in me box?'
That's a nice one.
It's very filling.
Actually, I think we might have that one.
Ohh!
Let me just go and look for it. Excellent!
We we do? We have that...? I think we do
Hello.
Hey.
Look at you.
Are you legal?
Nup.
That doesn't matter.
Let me take my teeth out for ya.
[ Relaxing in store music ]
[ Door bell chimes ]
Hey Andy.
Stace.
So, made it in early today?
Yup.
What's the speaker for?
Oh, my shrink said that learning a waltz would help
with relaxation.
Oh, yeah.
And because the male leads,
it's good for fostering thrust.
I mean, trust.
You just said 'thrust'.
Nope, I didn't.
So what's the speaker for?
Well, I was wondering...
if you're not too busy, ah...
maybe you could help me with some dance steps.
Umm...
Sure.
Not a problem.
Good.
[ Romantic piano ]
Just relax.
Okay, I just. I just want to let you know I'm not really good with moving my body.
I mean, moving my hips
rhythmically.
I'm not really.
Just six evenly accented steps
completed by a full turn in two bars of music, repeated endlessly as the couple turn...
The... couple?
As in we,
spin on the dance floor.
You sound like an encyclopedia.
I have a photographic memory.
That'd be handy.
That's pretty handy.
Now all we need is music.
[ Gentle romantic guitar strumming ]
Dance with me.
Close your eyes.
Drift away.
Feel the rhythm.
Steady flow from my heart
Every time,
I take your hand in mine,
the world stops...
It's turning.
So dance
with me,
and I'll show you,
the way.
Dance with me
Turn your thoughts
into nothing.
And follow me
I won't lead
you astray.
When I hold
you close and feel the warmth
from your heart
it soothes my soul.
So dance
with me,
and I'll show you
the way.
Oh, how sweet.
[ In store organ music ]
[50'S guitar surf music] I think she really likes you, boyo.
Nah.
Do ya reckon?
She does.
Now if you're smart about it, you'll act fast.
Don't wait for her to start thinking about you as a friend.
Strike while she's hot!
I mean, while the iron is hot.
Look, I really don't need your advice anymore...
Oh, yes, you do. Now look...
what you need to do, is you need to write... a romantic note.
With ahh, some flowers or chokkie's attached
What!
No way.
Yes way, dude.
And do you have any clobber other than these rags you've been getting 'round in.
Not on what you pay me.
True.
Anyway, when your around her act strong.
All great leading males have been physically appealing,
strong, and yet little bit soft on the inside,
kind of like a Turkish delight.
Life isn't always like the movies, Gary.
Oh, but it is. It is my son.
And that's where you young grunge fiends have lost it.
Grunge fiends?
It's not the nineties, Gary.
You know, women like to talk about independence and liberation,
but when it comes down to the crunchy roll, they all still want the hero.
The knight in shining armour
who's going to come along and pick them up and carry them away.
No women are more sophisticated than you give them credit for.
They like kind of
offbeat, funny, introspective kinda guys.
That's so?
Yeah.
And how many girls do you know have Woody Allen posters up on their wall?
It's the latest, strong, heroic type that they're gagging for.
Whatever you reckon, Gary.
Look.
If it will make it any easier for you, pretend you're Sean Connery,
or, or Michael Caine.
Who?
Michael Caine.
(Impersonation) Not many people know 'dis
But the key to a woman's heart is to make her 'fink
that you're flipping unattainable.
What?
I said, be bloody unattainable, my son!
See, women, always want what they can't bloody well have.
Well, you know...
Alright somebody you know, uh-uh, Robert Downey Jr...
or-or Johnny Depp!
Actually, they're both kind of lame.
You see, that's exactly my point.
I mean, there are no manly male movie stars anymore.
They've all been boxed in and castrated
by political correctness.
Look... go and take a peek at a Humphrey Bogart
movie or for an Elvis Beach film, for fuck's sake.
Those guys knew how to treat women.
Been single a long time, have we, Gary?
Speak of the devil.
Thought, my ears were burning.
That's because it's hot outside.
And what I suggest is a little bit of sunscreen,
otherwise you're going to be burnt and red like a lobster.
It's winter.
Fuck off.
As you were.
Hmph.
Gary.
S'been doing it all day.
[ Street noise ]
[ Romantic Parisian accordion and piano ]
A rose. Nice touch.
Good boy.
[ Gentle romantic xylophone and piano]
So, any plans for tonight, Tiger?
Ah no, not really. No.
There's something I've been meaning
to talk to you about. Um,
I'm thinking about moving on.
What?
An old friend is moving to Sydney, and she needs a roomie.
Oh.
I mean,
it's not
like there's anything here for me, right?
New start and all that jazz.
Yeah,
well, you got to do what you gotta do, right?
I'm going to go get my stuff from out the back.
Okay.
[ Solemn piano music plays ]
Have you finished that inventory yet?
Fuck off Gary.
Ricky Bennet.
Flanagan.
Gary Bishop.
Dear Gary, thank you so much
for allowing Starline Distribution to view and assess your film.
Although I understand,
that 'The Last Video Store'
is a dream project... it really doesn't fit into our current slate.
So I'm afraid at this time... decline.
Good luck with your future endeavors. Best...
and kindest regards, Jenny.
Are you ok?
Fuck!
What do they want?
Space ships!?
A slasher bound, foul mouthed, Bloodbath!
I mean, where's the fucking subtlety any more?
I mean, where is it, for Fuck's sake?
I ask you?
Fuck!
Another rejection letter for his movie idea.
[ Solemn piano music plays ]
DVD...
the change.
Bye.
Thanks.
[ Hopeful strings play ]
S'everything all good?
Uhuh.
Good.
GOLD COAST LADY: Well, about time! I was just about to walk out!
Deviants.
[ Door bell chimes ]
[ Car approaches ]
Tell him I'm not here.
What? Wait you said...
[ Light switch clicks off ]
[door bell chimes] How you doing Andy?
Fine.
Been good to yourself?
Yeah. No, no.
I mean. Yeah.
Not really
Told many lies lately?
No, I don't know how you can do it.
How you can just stand there with a straight face.
I can stand there all day
every day serving Joe, eff'n public without wanting to take the nearest heavy,
blunt object and just smash their teeth in!
I don't know myself sometimes.
It would drive me around the bend.
Cooped up in here like a canary.
You see, a like me open spaces too much.
The freedom of it, out on me Bike. Know what I mean?
Go where you want.
Do what you want.
Do who you want.
Know what I mean?
Well, I guess you don't.
Well, Andy, we could stand here all day
and wax lyrical about the pros and cons of video store employment.
But I've got things to do. And I suppose so do you, so...
Let me cut to the chase...
you seen Stacy around lately?
No.
Have you?
No, I haven't.
Now you're absolutely sure?
Because if I found out you was lying to me Andy, well... I'd be awfully hurt.
And the thing is, when I get my feelings hurt, I'm a completely different person.
I'm not the big, lovable panda bear you've come to know.
I'm more like a... like a...
A grizzly bear.
There you go with that honesty thing again.
Honesty is going to get you in trouble one day Andy.
Now, like I was saying...
I haven't seen her.
All right. All right. Heh heh.
Look, I'm sorry about being a pest.
It's just that she sort of owes me some money, and, well,
I rather get my affairs in order before I...
Yeah, I understand.
Great.
You're a good kid Andrew.
Thanks.
That's...
I think it's time you and I went for a ride.
Oh, well, I can't...
Don't say another fuck'n word!
I can't...
Don't say it, or I'll drop you, where you stand!
Don't!
Come on.
I really don't know why you're protecting her kid,
she wouldn't do the same for you.
Leave him alone fuck face!
Well, well.
So here she is at last!
My little cupcake hiding in the cupboard.
What were you doing back there anyway?
You're kidding me.
Mind your own business, Damian.
D'you hear that?
You're not doing him any favors, sweetheart!
Yeah Stacy you're kinda... Did I say you could speak?
Andy and I were just about to go for a lovely ride in the country.
Get out of this stuffy cage and back to the open spaces.
But now that you're here.
Well, looks like we can all go together.
One big, happy family.
Bobby Ackworth,
Leah Luddington, Tim Vining.
Neil Talty.
Eric Lumsden.
Those names mean anything to you Damian?
Because I've sent a list to a friend in the legal profession
Addresses, dates...
fee for the job.
Everything but the obituary.
If anything happens to me,
or my boyfriend,
I'd say goodbye to wide open spaces.
Just go. Damian, it's over.
It's over,
when I say it's over!
It's over!
It'll only be over when one of us is dead!
Hey, watch mate!
Now I think it's time you left.
You're this close,
to a punch in the head, Amigo.
Get outta here!
[ Door bell chimes ]
Friend of yours?
Not anymore.
You 'right, Andrew?
Yeah, I'm alright.
Why did you lie to me?
Does it really matter?
I couldn't face him.
I just couldn't.
It's over!
It'll only be over when one of us is dead!
Hey, watch it mate!
You're this close, to a punch in the head Amigo.
Gary?
Ahh.
Yep, yep. (playback) You're this close, to a punch in the head Amigo.
Listen, I...
I've been doing a bit of soul searching.
That's always good, unless it isn't.
I don't want the extra money to be nice to Andrew anymore.
Sure, ah... I understand.
It's just that, you know...
No really. It's...
It's fine.
It's not like I can afford it anyway. Mmm.
So what you're doing?
Nothing.
Well, if that's it, then.
Yeah, I suppose.
Looks like Andrew could do with a little help with the punters.
...close to a punch in the head Amigo!
Hey.
Feeling any better?
Yeah.
Do you still like me?
Of course I do.
I um,
I brought you a Pez dispenser.
Really?
Yeah.
What kind?
Wonder Woman.
Oh
Do you like it?
Yeah.
[ Ominous music ]
Money! Register! Whoa! Whoa!
Move it Blondie, come on!
Back up lover boy!
Hurry up!
Here take it!
You... stupid fucking bitch!
[ Audience applause ]
Oh, fantastic.
And the winner is...
the modern love triangle to end all triangles.
The Last Video Store.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you all.
This is very difficult for me,
as in, receiving this honor.
I've...
well I've lost two friends.
But I'd like to start by reading something, if I may.
I have here a love letter that was written by Andrew
and given to Stacy,
along with a single red rose
only hours before the shooting, and...
as you have seen, could have inadvertently
led to the tragic events.
"Stacy, I adore you."
Every time I see you, my heart beats
a little bit faster.
I'm confused
weakened,
cannot breathe.
It is as if you have put a spell on me and only
to hold and kiss
you will set me free.
You are like a dream.
"Love Andrew."
Some dreams are real.
And for a short moment, Stacy and Andrew
had found their own dream come true.
And I want to thank the festival for honoring me and...
honoring us with this award, and...
I only wish they were still here.
[ The blue Danube starts to play ]
Get up...
...and get this, you stupid fucking bitch!
All right?
Hi.
Oh, hi.
Ah, I've come about the job.
...global warming and lack of NBN in my area. (audience giggles)
Yep, yep, yep.
Must get a little weirdos in here huh?
It's good for fostering thrust.
I mean trust.
Sure. No problem.
[ The blue Danube plays ]
It's over.
Arrgghh!
I'll be over only, when one of us is dead!
Oui! Watch it mate! Just leave!
[ Audience gasp! ]
(Cries)
[ Audience cheers ]
[ Solemn piano ]
[solemn piano] Thinking about it now.
All great love stories are tragedies.
And I suppose this is no different.
Thank you
and good night.
[ Solemn piano ] [ Audience cheers ]
Destiny Vasquez here with Gary Wilson, award winner.
Congratulations, Gary.
Thank you very much. It's a great honor to receive the award. Thank you.
And you were very close with Stacy and Andrew, weren't you?
Yeah, I was.
And now you're an award winning director!
Yeah, I suppose I am.
Hi. How are you? (kiss kiss) You look amazing!
(Blubbering)
What the fuck?
[ Fire wood crackles ]
[ Phone beeps as numbers dialed ]
[ Phone rings ]
Oh, hi.
Yeah, Damian was there.
He was disguised in this, ridiculous fake mustache and dyed blonde hair.
But it was him,
because I never forget a scumbag!
You there?
Yeah, yeah. We're still here.
Well he won't be bothering you guys any time soon.
So it all went to plan then?
Without a hitch.
And good luck on your adventure you too.
Thanks, Gary.
Oh, and thanks for the cruise tickets?
(as Michael Caine) That's my pleasure, my darlings.
And remember, not many people know 'dis...
...but the key to happiness is to stay away from arseholes!
Got it?
Got it.
Bye for now.
(Sweetly) Bye, Gary.
(long smoochy kiss)
So when are we going to give Damian his car back?
We'll have to dump it in the swamp eventually but,
maybe not straightaway.
Whoa hoo.
Didn't realize you were such a rebel, Stacy.
I thought that's what you liked about me?
[ Engine starts ]
[ Happy guitar pop song plays ]
♪ I get kind a bit emotions in my head I've got explosions ♫
♪ Now I'm drinking these mimosas Everyday ♪
♪ Now I'm going to extremes every time I get these feelings ♪
♪ Who's got the amphetamines Yeah Yeah, Oh Oh ♪
♪ I'm spiraling down to the ground I'm lost and I'll never be found ♪
♪ Then I just see you around ♪
♪ You change the mood When you walk in with a smile, yes you do ♪
♪ I haven't been happy for a while Do we ever stop feeling this? ♪
♪ Throwing my feelings around like this for you ♪
♪ You change the mood ♪
♪ You change the mood I can't even try to explain ♪
♪ How you hit me like a hurricane Now I'm sippin' on champagne everyday ♪
♪ We're spiraling down to the ground Lost and we couldn't be found ♪
♪ But then I just saw your face You change the mood ♪
♪ When you walk in with a smile, yes you do ♪
♪ I haven't been happy for a while Do we ever stop feeling this? ♪
♪ Throwing my feelings around like this for you ♪
♪ You change the mood ♪
♪ When you walk in with a smile, yes you do ♪
♪ I haven't been happy for a while Do we ever stop feeling this? ♪
♪ Throwing my feelings around like this for you ♪
♪ You change the mood ♪
[music]
That's really cute.
[laughing]