1 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:09,680 Hey! 2 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:11,800 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 3 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:15,320 It's Chri-i-i-i-stmas! 4 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:17,880 What are you talking about? It's Halloween! 5 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:19,280 Well, nearly Christmas. 6 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,600 Only 55 more sleeps. 7 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,800 Ha! How long has it been now? 8 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,600 What? Oh, four hours 33. 9 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,200 One more minute since the last time you asked, Kitty! 10 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:33,280 I should be there. Curse these infernal boundaries! 11 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,080 Er... What happening? 12 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,480 They left in the night, Robin. Alison... 13 00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:38,720 PHONE RINGS NEARBY 14 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:42,480 Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! 15 00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:44,680 PHONE KEEPS RINGING 16 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,680 ANSWER MACHINE BEEPS 17 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,040 MIKE: Um, hi, everyone. 18 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,400 This feels weird. Can you hear me? 19 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,840 Of course you can, I just can't hear you. For goodness' sake! 20 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,120 Spit it out, man! Go on! Shhh, I can't hear him! 21 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,680 Anyway, Alison asked me to call, 22 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,520 just to say it's all good, 23 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,400 mum and baby are doing well. Ahh! And... 24 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,800 GHOSTS: It's a girl! 25 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:09,320 Here we are, Mia, this is where we live. 26 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,640 Mia! Mia! Hello, Mia! 27 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:15,160 Mia? I thought she was called Bumpy? Bumpy Cooper? 28 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,920 Alison? Alison? 29 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,080 Oh, SHE's here. 30 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,560 GHOSTS: Hi, Betty. 31 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:22,960 You get your feet up, Alison, 32 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,800 and I'll go and make us all a cup of tea. 33 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:29,120 And get that heating on, Mike, warm up this old place. Yes, Mum. 34 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:31,760 Thank you so much! 35 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,800 This is really kind, you don't have to stay. 36 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:39,200 Nonsense! Just a few days until you get into the swing of things. 37 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,520 Right, I've sterilised all the bottles in the... 38 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,560 Where are you off to? 39 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,400 Just for a little walk. Just for a stroll around the grounds. 40 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,240 Oh, I'll come too! You don't have to... 41 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,680 It's mild out, make sure she doesn't overheat. 42 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,360 It's cold out, make sure Mia has a hat on! 43 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:20,920 MIA CRIES 44 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:21,960 Shh, it's OK! 45 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,600 # Jingle bells, this girl smells 46 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,680 # Cos Mia's done a poo! # Haven't you? 47 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,720 HE BLOWS RASPBERRY 48 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:29,800 It's fascinating to see a father so involved. 49 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:30,920 Yes! 50 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:32,360 I changed a nappy once. 51 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,480 Never again. 52 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:37,600 Oh, come along, it can't be that bad... Oh! Whoa! Hold! 53 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,440 Hold! Ohh! 54 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,560 How did all of that... come out of that? 55 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:42,800 It's extraordinary. 56 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:46,160 I won't pretend I don't have regrets about my life, 57 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:49,200 but this is not one of them, sir! 58 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,440 Accacha poo, eechappee-chappee-poo, 59 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,480 choo-ee-chappee-choo. 60 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,040 Patrick, what on earth are you doing? 61 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:58,600 Oh, it's babytalk. 62 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,480 Yeah, they love it, they find it very soothing. 63 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,800 I mean, you've got to make the most of it. 64 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,120 Mary always said they stop seeing us once they can walk. 65 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,720 MIA STARTS CRYING 66 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,080 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, don't... 67 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:14,720 She's probably hungry. I'll feed her. Cool. Everybody out! 68 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,800 Urgh! Come along! Chop-chop! 69 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,480 Hmm. 70 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,960 Something the matter, Robin? 71 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:30,200 I dunno. I just don't feel... Christmassy, you know? 72 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,920 You always called it a fad. 73 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,440 That was before. 74 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:37,080 Since Alison come, it been my favourite time of year. 75 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:41,280 Well, it's not Christmas Day yet, so... No, but... 76 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,760 ..I normally feel Christmassy by now. 77 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,320 Well, there aren't as many decorations 78 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,040 because they're busy with Mia. Yeah. 79 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,200 Hmm. 80 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,760 Morning, Thomas. Good day, Alison. 81 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,160 Given the situation with the baby, 82 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,320 it's only understandable 83 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,640 that preparations would be compromised this year. 84 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,520 We must make do with the decorations we have. 85 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,480 What was that about decorations? 86 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,840 Was that what? Robin wants more. 87 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,640 Robin want more. 88 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:13,040 Well, I'll ask Mike to put some more up. What's that? 89 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:16,480 No, just... I was thinking out loud 90 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:20,440 that I think that I should ask Mike to put up more decorations. 91 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:21,640 Could do. 92 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:22,680 MIA STARTS CRYING 93 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:26,120 Ohhh... I just fed you! She needs winding. 94 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,840 Hardly surprising with all that foreign food you eat, Alison. 95 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:29,960 Come here, I'll take her. 96 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,160 It all gets passed on, you know. 97 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,320 You mark my words, you need simple foods 98 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,920 like potatoes, bread, fish. 99 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:41,760 Good, fishy milk for her brain, you see? Here we go. 100 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:46,400 Well, that'll never work. Slap her on the back, woman! 101 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:47,440 MIA BURPS 102 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:50,600 Oh. Oh. There she blows. 103 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:54,200 Good girl! Aww! 104 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,560 KITTY BELCHES 105 00:04:58,560 --> 00:04:59,760 Urgh! 106 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:03,120 What on earth has come over you, Kitty? 107 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,240 Well, you all loved it when she did it! 108 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,680 I'll just... I'll go and get the decorations. 109 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,960 Yes, yes, yes... 110 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:19,960 Are you OK, Thomas? Pleeease. You have to stop! 111 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,560 You have a baby now, Alison. 112 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,520 We cannot carry on as if nothing has happened. But- 113 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,720 Everything has changed, Alison. 114 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,680 We must contain ourselves. 115 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,000 If not for Michael, 116 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,400 for the wee bairn. 117 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,920 OK. 118 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,040 Think of the child, Alison! 119 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,760 DOORBELL RINGS 120 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:53,480 There you are, Alison! It's so nice to get a moment to... 121 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:57,200 Hi. Thank you. Yes! 122 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,440 What's that? Mike's present. 123 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,120 I got him these rare trainers that he wanted. 124 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,880 I don't think those will fit him. 125 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,160 I got a child's ten. 126 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:11,480 Anyway, I was thinking we could... 127 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:12,880 Kitty, I'm really sorry, I've just... 128 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,160 I'm gonna have to sort this out. 129 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:16,240 Arghh! 130 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,920 Whoa! God, I need a coffee. 131 00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:26,000 Hang on, am I allowed another one? 132 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,080 Well, it does affect the breast milk. 133 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,280 This is why you need a wet nurse, Alison. 134 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,000 You could eat and drink what you like. 135 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,760 You've gone and made yourself a human dairy farm. 136 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:37,920 OK, well, I think that maybe I'll have a herbal, then, instead. 137 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,080 Good girl. 138 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,240 Where are the teabags? 139 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,920 I moved them to the dresser. 140 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,560 Closer to the spoons. 141 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,080 Well, I mean they were... they were closer to the kettle, 142 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:48,720 but no, yeah, no, that makes sense. 143 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,360 I'll have a bigger sort-out another day. Hm-hmm. 144 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,200 BETTY HUMS TO HERSELF 145 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,880 Dad must be missing you. 146 00:06:56,880 --> 00:07:00,040 Oh, he's probably glad I'm not there to nag him. 147 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,680 I know he'll miss his mince pies. 148 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,320 Are you gonna give him some? That batch? 149 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,560 Whilst they're fresh? 150 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,520 I'm here as long as you need me. 151 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:13,440 Yeah. Yeah, about that... 152 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,760 And somebody needs their nap. 153 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,440 Yeah, I am tired. 154 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:19,000 Oh, you mean Mia. 155 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,800 I've got it, I've got it. 156 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,600 I've got her. 157 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,400 Yes, yes, you're sleepy. 158 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:31,800 ALISON HUMS THE FIRST NOEL 159 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,520 Are you gorgeous? Yes. 160 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,480 Yes, you're gorgeous. 161 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,320 Mummy loves you. 162 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,360 Yeah! Yeah. 163 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,040 MIA BABBLES 164 00:07:56,320 --> 00:08:00,960 All right, that's all right. That's OK. Come here. Yeah. 165 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,480 MIKE: There we go. 166 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,720 GHOSTS: Oh! Oh, yes, isn't that lovely! 167 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,720 JULIAN: Huh? Huh? 168 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,400 Now you feel Christmassy? 169 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,520 Nope. 170 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,400 What's missing, Robin? 171 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:19,560 How you mean? 172 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,520 We need to work out what puts you in the Christmas mood. 173 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,800 It's different for everyone, you see. 174 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,040 For me, it was always the smell of the mulled wine. 175 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,640 Oh, dear, Mia's awake. 176 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,000 She's cooing away at something. Hmmm. 177 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:35,360 Prepping the pud-pud with Mumsy. Stir-up Sunday. 178 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,440 It was never really Christmas for me until the office party, 179 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,040 or rather the after-party, when a few of us would go upstairs 180 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:44,520 and have a jolly good... 181 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:47,840 Orjee-borgee-jobby-jobby! Ajobby-jobby-joo-joo. 182 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:52,520 You try. Huh? Well, I... 183 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:53,880 OK. 184 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,440 HE CLEARS HIS THROAT 185 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:59,200 Dabbah dabbah dabbah, dabbah dabbah dah... 186 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:03,160 What? No! It's got to be more melodic, you know, 187 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:06,200 like acccha-poo-choo, poo-choo-gaga-gee! 188 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,240 Right. 189 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:10,240 Daba-daba-daba, dee-daba-daba... 190 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,520 What are you doing? What? Ah... No, it was Patrick. 191 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,200 I... I just put her down, 192 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,360 and you're exciting her when she needs her sleep. 193 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,320 Yeah, no, we should go. Erm... 194 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,040 No, it's too late now, she's... she's wide awake. Ah! 195 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:25,640 Oh, but she's irresistible. 196 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,240 Aren't you? Yes, you are! 197 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:31,720 Yes, you are, ugga-cubba-jubba-ji-wa-jah! 198 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:32,880 WATER SPLASHES 199 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,480 Is that nice? 200 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,320 She's ironed all my tracksuits - again! 201 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,280 Look, I'm really grateful that she stayed to help, OK? 202 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,400 I really am, but... You can say it. 203 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,240 She's driving me mad. Hm! 204 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:50,680 It's not just the baby, it's like she's taking over. 205 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:53,400 I mean she's moving stuff in the kitchen, 206 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,680 she's changed the settings on the thermostat. 207 00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:58,880 Really, if you don't say something, I will - because she can't swim. 208 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,760 What? She can't start swimming yet. Hiya. 209 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,600 I called the pool and they said, like, 210 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,680 she has to be three months at least, so... 211 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:09,280 She's already a water-baby, aren't you, my darling? 212 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:14,320 Yes! A guji-koo-koo, a-guji-koo-kooooh! 213 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,120 Hey, that's not bad. Yeah, that's first class. Mum, erm... 214 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:18,840 Before you start, Mike, 215 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:22,880 I've just been on the phone with your dad and you were right. 216 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,320 Looks like he needs me to come home. Oh? 217 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,120 Oh. I'm really sorry. 218 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:29,880 I know it's scary, but I've been here for what, six weeks? 219 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:30,920 BOTH: Seven. 220 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:35,560 And he's missing me. He's probably living on takeaways. Oh, gosh. 221 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:38,240 Well, we're going to miss you too. Yeah! 222 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:42,040 Maybe I should ask him to come here instead? No! 223 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,920 Definitely don't. We'll manage. 224 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:45,560 We'll manage! No, no need for that. 225 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:47,600 That's... Who's going to feed the cats, Mum? 226 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:48,720 We'll manage. We will. 227 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,480 BETTY: I'm going to miss you, little one. Yes. 228 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:14,400 Argh. 229 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,240 Everything all right, Alison? 230 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,880 Oh, erm, I just... 231 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:21,600 I ordered Mike these trainers that he really wanted for Christmas 232 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:25,280 and they were the wrong size and now everywhere's sold out, so... 233 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,280 Oh, that's all right, I got him those. 234 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:29,720 Oh, great. 235 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:31,480 BETTY CHUCKLES 236 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:48,440 150 yards, a seven iron, I think, yeah! 237 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,960 LADY BUTTON: Julian! I need you! 238 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,760 She's left the blanket off, look! 239 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,880 The poor child will freeze. All right, all right, all right. 240 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:16,960 Haunted? 241 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,400 Mum, it's... it's... Well... 242 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:23,360 The truth is... erm... 243 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:28,800 The truth is...that it's a creaky old house 244 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,520 and, yeah, if you're not used to it, 245 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,040 it can feel a little creepy, especially at night. 246 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:36,280 But...there aren't any ghosts. 247 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:37,400 KITTY: Well, there are. 248 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:41,200 I saw a figure in a dress, on the monitor. 249 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,440 And the blanket moved itself. 250 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:47,000 Please, Mum, don't worry, it's fine. 251 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,800 I know what I saw. I'll... 252 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:53,680 I'll stay up there with her. I'm going to bed anyway. 253 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,680 Well, I ain't going anywhere. 254 00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:58,520 I'm not leaving my granddaughter in this haunted house. 255 00:12:58,520 --> 00:12:59,920 I'm going to unpack. 256 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,320 Evening, everybody. 257 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:04,360 What's up, guys? 258 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,640 What? 259 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:10,200 We just need to convince her there aren't any ghosts. 260 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,600 But there are. 261 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:15,080 But she doesn't know that. She does. 262 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:18,840 No, but...that could have been anything. 263 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,800 You want to gaslight my mum? 264 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,680 Yeah, I want to gaslight your mum. 265 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,160 I'm almost surprised you'd never seen it before, 266 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,800 it happens all the time. Look, if you just keep watching... 267 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:33,760 JULIAN STRAINS 268 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:37,440 See! You probably saw it flicker in your peripheral vision 269 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:40,920 and it looked like something moving. Hmm. 270 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:44,040 It doesn't explain the blanket, though. 271 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,360 MIA CRIES 272 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,000 No, no, no, no, no. Step no further. 273 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,440 Alison was very clear. She doesn't want to see Fanny on camera. 274 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:01,720 What? Operation Bye Bye, Betty. Well, why aren't we involved? 275 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,840 Well, she only needed the, um... 276 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,600 Ghosts with skills, yeah, rub it in. 277 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,800 And you can stop right there, Thorne! 278 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,240 You leave Alison alone, she's very busy. 279 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:14,080 Good for her, it's no business of mine. 280 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,160 What? I'm no home-wrecker. 281 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:19,440 It's over between me and Alison, I've moved on. 282 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:20,520 Oh, really? 283 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,160 What, to someone new? Yes! Who? 284 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,120 And I'll tell you who. 285 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,240 A certain Ms Jennifer Aniston. 286 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,480 Rachel from Friends? And so much more. 287 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,320 Jen is an artist, an icon 288 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:38,800 and a powerful businesswoman, 289 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:42,040 so, yes, I think I do love her, thank you very much. 290 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:48,440 So, erm, so I'm thinking that the breeze just blew in... 291 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:51,920 The window was closed, Alison. No, but... Well... 292 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,440 The draft can still get in because it's the old window frames. 293 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,920 Like, we can't afford to replace them, 294 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,120 so the wind still gets in. 295 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,680 There, you see? 296 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,160 Waaaa! 297 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,800 Wooowaaa! 298 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:13,600 Hmm. 299 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:16,080 There you are. Huh? 300 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,120 Feeling Christmassy yet? 301 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:21,480 No. Great! Because I've got an idea. 302 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,680 Music. 303 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,040 That's what always gives me a Christmas tingle. 304 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:28,240 McCartney, Wizzard, Bing for the nanas. 305 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,680 Bring your bananas? 306 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,880 Christmas hits! You must have a favourite? 307 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,040 It's an old house. 308 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,160 Dodgy electrics. 309 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,440 Draughty windows. But... 310 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,040 You don't need to worry about Mia, Mum. We're all good. 311 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,800 MERRY XMAS EVERYBODY BY SLADE PLAYS ON STEREO 312 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,560 Oh, good lord! 313 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:47,360 That...is the stereo. 314 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,400 Erm, I put the stereo on a timer when we go out 315 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,800 so it sounds like we're in. 316 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:56,200 But you've not gone out since Mia was born. Yeah, I... 317 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,240 I was cleaning there earlier, and I must have turned the dial. 318 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,560 Silly Daddy! 319 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,160 # So here it is... # 320 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:07,320 Huh? Huh? 321 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,920 Yeah, I like the song. 322 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,800 And I love the dance. 323 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,200 I just don't feel very... 324 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,080 Shut it down! Shut it down! Shut it down! Shut it down! 325 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,280 Oh, yeah. Down! 326 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:19,800 HE STRAINS 327 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:23,040 I should turn that off, because it's set to last an hour. 328 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,080 MUSIC SWITCHES OFF 329 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:27,840 Or was it? Hmm. 330 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:30,760 I can tell when you're lying, Michael. I'm not lying. 331 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,160 CAPTAIN CLEARS HIS THROAT 332 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,160 ROBIN AND PAT: Sorry, Alison. 333 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,120 What they said. 334 00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:41,360 Betty, if it was a... poltergeist or whatever, 335 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:45,520 you'd think it would do worse than playing with the stereo. 336 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,800 Well, maybe that's how it starts. 337 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,120 OK, well, look. OK... 338 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,120 If there is something in this room... 339 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,880 ..give us a sign. 340 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,800 CAPTAIN CLEARS HIS THROAT AGAIN 341 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:05,920 See? There's... 342 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,040 There's nothing... Oh! 343 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,240 Oh, my God! 344 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:11,080 I was putting the decorations up yesterday, 345 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,200 and I must have not put it on the hook properly! Mum! 346 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,720 Was that a ghost? No, that was you. 347 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:17,760 Mum! 348 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:21,920 So that went well. 349 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,120 How are we gonna convince... I don't know. 350 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:27,000 I'm too tired to even think. 351 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,800 Can I just sleep? Of course, yeah. 352 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,280 Yes! 353 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,200 VEHICLE APPROACHES 354 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,760 Betty? Thank you for coming so quickly, Reverend. 355 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,280 Well, I was heading out anyway 356 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,480 to get the nativity display out of storage 357 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:50,000 and you sounded rather distraught, 358 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,720 so I didn't want to leave you in a state. Come in. 359 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,080 I must say, it's a most unusual request. 360 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,080 I've never been asked before. But you can do it? 361 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,680 Well, yes, it is a thing. 362 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:08,080 It's just, certainly no one I know has ever been asked... 363 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,240 Father? 364 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,600 Good evening, Michael. 365 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,760 What are you doing here? 366 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,000 He's here to perform an exorcism. 367 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,560 Huh? Oh! Great. 368 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,160 I'll just get my prayer book. 369 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,720 MIKE WHISPERS: Ghosts! If you can hear me, 370 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,280 there's a vicar here to do an exorcism. 371 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,840 Get out! I know you can't leave, but... 372 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:38,160 I don't know! Ghosts! Are you there? 373 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,360 Home-raised chicken and plenty of good British veg... 374 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,880 Betty's brought the pastor. 375 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,960 Pasta? Well, that's not very Christmassy. 376 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,280 No, no, no, the reverend! The vicar! 377 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,560 He's here to perform an exorcism! 378 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,840 My goodness, what will we do? 379 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:04,560 Maybe it's all right. 380 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,520 It's demons that they're after, isn't it? 381 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,680 You know, evil spirits who do harm to the living. 382 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,640 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God! 383 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,200 Yeah, maybe we should... 384 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,040 Let's get out of here! Quick! Come on! 385 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:24,440 Wait! Where's Humphrey? Oh! 386 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,160 The other bit! 387 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:32,760 If there are any spirits here in this house, do not hide, 388 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:36,400 we call on you to hear God's word. 389 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,920 Humphrey! Humphrey! Humphrey! 390 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,800 Guys, down here! 391 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,280 There! Quick! Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry! 392 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,800 Come on. Quickly, Thomas! Oh, thank goodness. 393 00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:51,160 Visit, Lord, we pray, this place, 394 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:56,200 and drive far from it the snares of the enemy... 395 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,600 Alison! Alison! 396 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:58,960 What? Is it Mia? No, she's fine. 397 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,760 It's Mum, she's brought the vicar round. 398 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:04,160 What? Why? He's doing an exorcism. What? 399 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,000 It can't work, can it? 400 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,280 I don't know. 401 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,400 Because you have made the Lord your refuge, 402 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,280 there shall no evil happen to you, 403 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,280 for he shall give his angels charge over you. 404 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,160 There shall no evil happen to you, 405 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,880 for he shall give his angels charge over you. 406 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:29,840 BOTH: There shall no evil happen to you... 407 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:33,800 ..for he shall give his angels charge over you. 408 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,760 Through Jesus Christ our Lord. BOTH: Amen. 409 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,560 There's nothing to worry about now, Alison. 410 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,360 The house is clean. 411 00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:48,720 Thank you, Reverend. 412 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,800 Well, there's a first time for everything, eh? 413 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,360 ROBIN: Alison? 414 00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:12,280 Has he gone? 415 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,560 Honestly, I'm just pleased you're reassured. 416 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,120 I can't thank you enough, Reverend. 417 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,360 God bless and Merry Christmas. 418 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:20,760 Merry Christmas to you too! 419 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:27,240 MUSIC PLAYS: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing 420 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,160 Wow! That's magical. 421 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,920 Now you feel Christmassy? 422 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:36,600 No. 423 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,640 Happy now? Yes. Shall I help you pack? 424 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,840 Well, I think I'm gonna stay a little bit longer, 425 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:51,400 just to make sure that it worked. Mum! 426 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,760 He said himself that he'd never done it before, so... Betty, Betty! 427 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:55,840 Can I say something? 428 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,000 We need to be on our own now. 429 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,480 You've been so generous, and we've... 430 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,800 ..we've learned so much from you. 431 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:09,520 But we need to find our own way as a family. 432 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:11,280 And I'm sure we'll make lots of mistakes 433 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,800 and we won't know what we're doing sometimes... but... 434 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,760 ..but we'll come to you for advice. 435 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,360 When you need it. Of course. I'm sorry. 436 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:25,960 Do you understand? You're a great mum. 437 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,200 Thanks. 438 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,680 And we'll see you at yours Christmas Day? 439 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,440 Or you can stay till new year if you like. 440 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:36,520 No, just Christmas Day is fine. Yeah. 441 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,800 CAR DRIVES AWAY 442 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,800 Oh, that's a relief. 443 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,080 Just us now. 444 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,960 Mission accomplished. 445 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,920 Yes, no more meddling in-laws. 446 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:53,040 Now, you must wake Mia for a good long feed so she sleeps through. 447 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,440 Otherwise she'll be wailing the house down 448 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,240 at goodness knows what hour. Pot/kettle, anyone? 449 00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,760 Alison, could I sing her a lullaby while she feeds? 450 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,280 Something soothing like, 451 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,320 # Close your eyes, Mummy doesn't care about anyone else but you... # 452 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,680 I can't believe that nativity scene didn't do it, Robin. 453 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,080 If I don't feel it, I don't feel it. Oh, who am I kidding? 454 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:13,040 I don't love Jennifer Aniston, it's you I love, Alison. 455 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,600 GHOSTS ALL CLAMOUR AT ONCE 456 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,800 And it always will be! My... 457 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,200 GHOSTS FALL SILENT 458 00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:25,680 We're as bad as Betty. 459 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,360 What's Daddy doing? What's Daddy doing? 460 00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:35,440 A wiggle wiggle wiggle! 461 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,560 You wanna go see Daddy? 462 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,480 Come here. Yeah! Yeah, you do. Yes! Oh! 463 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,880 MIKE BLOWS RASPBERRIES 464 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,720 ALISON LAUGHS 465 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,200 Knock, knock. 466 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,640 Oh, guys, can this... 467 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:54,880 Can this wait until I... 468 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,560 Don't worry, Alison, we're not here to ask for anything. 469 00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:58,960 Or to meddle, no. 470 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:04,240 We have assembled here because we would like to make a proposal. 471 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:06,560 Right. 472 00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:11,200 When you first arrived here, I thought you were a prostitute. 473 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,000 Yeah, you did. 474 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,080 You said that before. Did I? Yeah! 475 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:19,240 I did, but I've come to think of you... 476 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,000 ..as my own daughter. 477 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,440 Granddaughter, surely? 478 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,240 And even that's pushing it! 479 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:28,920 Look, the point is, we're family. 480 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,600 We all feel that way. 481 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:35,160 And your family love you, of course, but...but... 482 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,040 They can be a pain. 483 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:38,720 Even when they don't mean to be. 484 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:42,640 Because...they just can't help being who they are. 485 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:45,840 And you need to be your own family now. 486 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,000 I don't quite follow. 487 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,240 Like you say to Betty, 488 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,440 you got to find your own way. 489 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:57,040 The last thing you need is constant interference 490 00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:02,640 from a gaggle of uncles and aunties and grannies and pets. 491 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,880 Hey, that offensive. Sorry. 492 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,600 What are you saying? 493 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:09,040 We can't leave, Alison. 494 00:25:11,120 --> 00:25:13,480 But you can. 495 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,760 No. But we...we turned down the offer to, to sell the house. 496 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:19,160 So it's... It's too late. 497 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:23,720 Believe me, if it was good business, they'll still want it. 498 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,920 Why did I vote for this? I hate it! 499 00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:29,680 Think of Mia. 500 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,800 Think of Mike. 501 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,280 It's for the best. 502 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:47,440 Mike... 503 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,200 INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION 504 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,600 What have we done? 505 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,960 Maybe they'll decide to stay. 506 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:57,160 They won't, Kitty. 507 00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:59,840 We did the right thing. 508 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,400 Thanks, guys. 509 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:10,880 Oh. 510 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,120 What is it, Robin? 511 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:14,800 I feel... 512 00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,080 ..Christmassy. 513 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,360 Ha, ha! There you go. 514 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,720 This one's for you. 515 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:33,560 # Have yourself a merry little Christmas... # 516 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:36,720 ROBIN: I know what it is now. 517 00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:39,880 It's so simple. 518 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,400 It wasn't the decorations. 519 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,880 Or the music. 520 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:53,480 No, that not what Christmas about! 521 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,880 Not really. 522 00:26:55,880 --> 00:27:01,760 # Have yourself a merry little Christmas... # 523 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:05,040 The most Christmassy feeling in the world... 524 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,440 ..is when you give somebody a gift. 525 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:15,560 A gift you know they will always remember. 526 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:29,800 # Once again, as in olden days 527 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,840 # Happy golden days... # 528 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,600 Oojie-googie-googie-googie, 529 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,120 poochie-googie-poochie, 530 00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:37,800 gaboochie-gaboochie-chee. 531 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:44,560 # Faithful friends who are near to us 532 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:51,800 # Will be dear to us once more 533 00:27:53,640 --> 00:28:00,640 # Someday soon we all will be together 534 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:07,240 # If the fates allow... # 535 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,760 Merry Christmas, lovely to see you as always. 536 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,320 I have your usual room ready and waiting for you. 537 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:27,800 # So have yourself a merry little Christmas... # 538 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:31,600 ALISON: Hi, guys. Merry Christmas! 539 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:34,040 Of course we can, Kitty. 540 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,840 Thank you, Thomas, you flatter me. 541 00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:40,080 What's new? 542 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,160 Julian... 543 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,320 ALISON LAUGHS 544 00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:51,320 I'll never get tired of this. 545 00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:54,920 No, so nice. Lovely. Wouldn't change it for the world. 546 00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,200 I think I can feel my pores opening up! 547 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,840 OTHERS AGREE 548 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:01,400 SNORING 549 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,400 Mick! Is he gone? 550 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:04,720 What? He's just relaxed.