1
00:00:22,443 --> 00:00:23,923
Hello?

2
00:00:32,923 --> 00:00:34,483
Who's there?

3
00:00:50,123 --> 00:00:51,363
Hi.

4
00:00:51,363 --> 00:00:55,483
Hello...? Oh! He spoke to me!
He knows I exist!

5
00:01:01,443 --> 00:01:04,323
They're early!
Alison, I can see their car!

6
00:01:04,323 --> 00:01:05,643
What is he talking about?

7
00:01:05,643 --> 00:01:07,563
Our first guests, down at
the Gatehouse.

8
00:01:07,563 --> 00:01:10,523
The Gatehouse?! So exciting.
Oh!

9
00:01:10,523 --> 00:01:11,883
Do you want to go, or shall I?

10
00:01:11,883 --> 00:01:14,203
But who are they?
Is there a vetting process?

11
00:01:14,203 --> 00:01:15,443
Shall we go together?

12
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:17,403
Er, sure. Yeah.
Or is that creepy?

13
00:01:17,403 --> 00:01:19,243
Oh. Er... You go. You go.

14
00:01:19,243 --> 00:01:21,083
Good luck.
OK. All right. Won't be long.

15
00:01:21,083 --> 00:01:23,763
What are their connections?
What is their circumstance?

16
00:01:23,763 --> 00:01:26,083
Or are you just inviting people
in willy-nilly?

17
00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:27,483
I quite agree, Fanny.

18
00:01:27,483 --> 00:01:30,123
They're just coming for their
holidays! Their what?

19
00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:32,563
I mean, I can show you
their booking if you really want.

20
00:01:32,563 --> 00:01:34,003
I'm sure they're a lovely couple.

21
00:01:34,003 --> 00:01:35,483
It's their anniversary.

22
00:01:35,483 --> 00:01:36,923
Oh! Hello?

23
00:01:36,923 --> 00:01:39,883
Dirty weekend?
Don't even think about it.

24
00:01:39,883 --> 00:01:42,563
What? They're the first ones
to leave a review, OK?

25
00:01:42,563 --> 00:01:45,123
It has to go well.
Just leave them alone.

26
00:01:45,123 --> 00:01:47,723
All right, all right,
all right, fun police.

27
00:01:47,723 --> 00:01:50,123
What is she thinking?
Honestly!

28
00:01:50,123 --> 00:01:53,243
The body
had been remarkably preserved

29
00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:54,763
over the centuries in the ice.

30
00:01:54,763 --> 00:01:56,643
Using state-of-the-art
3D modelling,

31
00:01:56,643 --> 00:01:59,483
researchers have been able
to create this image

32
00:01:59,483 --> 00:02:01,683
of what the iceman
would have looked like.

33
00:02:01,683 --> 00:02:03,963
And viewers
can see the full story

34
00:02:03,963 --> 00:02:07,003
in tonight's special,
The Man In The Ice.

35
00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:09,203
I know that guy!
Huh?

36
00:02:31,563 --> 00:02:35,043
{\an8}...with me, Robin.
Honestly! I swear on my life.

37
00:02:35,043 --> 00:02:36,603
You're dead, mate!

38
00:02:36,603 --> 00:02:38,803
I mean, it could be anyone.
They all, y'know...

39
00:02:38,803 --> 00:02:40,283
They what? Look the same?

40
00:02:40,283 --> 00:02:44,003
I didn't say that. You do tell a lot
of tall tales, truth be told.

41
00:02:44,003 --> 00:02:46,523
Look, I met the guy.

42
00:02:46,523 --> 00:02:48,363
When? Where?

43
00:02:48,363 --> 00:02:50,363
Well, I don't know.

44
00:02:50,363 --> 00:02:51,923
It was long time ago!

45
00:02:51,923 --> 00:02:53,403
Hmm... I met him!

46
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,843
Ooh...!

47
00:02:56,843 --> 00:03:00,203
It is exciting meeting someone
off the telly, though, isn't it?

48
00:03:00,203 --> 00:03:01,683
You know, someone famous?

49
00:03:01,683 --> 00:03:04,443
I actually met Bobby Davro
in the changing rooms

50
00:03:04,443 --> 00:03:06,123
of the Thimbleby Leisure Centre.

51
00:03:06,123 --> 00:03:07,883
I lent him my talc.

52
00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:10,963
Mm. I met Field Marshal
Harold Alexander.

53
00:03:10,963 --> 00:03:13,323
Bally hero. Anyone else?

54
00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:15,843
Byron. Was a tosspot.

55
00:03:15,843 --> 00:03:17,923
I suppose if I'd lived
a little longer,

56
00:03:17,923 --> 00:03:19,763
I might have met
someone interesting.

57
00:03:19,763 --> 00:03:21,803
I met the Elephant Man.

58
00:03:21,803 --> 00:03:23,083
Elephant Man?

59
00:03:23,083 --> 00:03:25,243
What? You met John Merrick?
What was he like?

60
00:03:25,243 --> 00:03:27,003
Rather boring. Couldn't
see the fuss.

61
00:03:27,003 --> 00:03:29,123
Hmm, let me see...

62
00:03:29,123 --> 00:03:31,483
How about... the Queen?!

63
00:03:31,483 --> 00:03:33,283
Ooh! Very good.

64
00:03:33,283 --> 00:03:34,443
Beat that.

65
00:03:34,443 --> 00:03:36,043
Henry VIII.

66
00:03:37,763 --> 00:03:39,243
Even better. Touche.

67
00:03:39,243 --> 00:03:41,603
I think Humphrey takes it.

68
00:03:41,603 --> 00:03:43,403
How did it go? Did you show them
round? Yeah.

69
00:03:43,403 --> 00:03:44,763
Did they like
the bottle of wine?

70
00:03:44,763 --> 00:03:46,803
I don't know. They didn't
drink it in front of me.

71
00:03:46,803 --> 00:03:48,483
Well, how did they seem?
They seemed...

72
00:03:48,483 --> 00:03:50,963
...all right. Yeah. They didn't
really say much, to be honest.

73
00:03:50,963 --> 00:03:53,283
Oh. Probably waiting for you
to get out

74
00:03:53,283 --> 00:03:55,763
so they could get it on!

75
00:03:55,763 --> 00:03:57,563
Do you think
they were disappointed?

76
00:03:57,563 --> 00:03:59,283
Maybe the photos
make it look too good.

77
00:03:59,283 --> 00:04:02,363
Or maybe they just had a long
journey. So they were tired.

78
00:04:02,363 --> 00:04:05,243
I don't know! Well, did they ask
for anything else?

79
00:04:05,243 --> 00:04:07,363
Just extra pillows.
Great. Cool. Yeah.

80
00:04:07,363 --> 00:04:10,203
Well, we can do that. I'll just go to
the basement and get some covers.

81
00:04:10,203 --> 00:04:12,043
OK. Alison?

82
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:14,323
I'll come, too.
Oh! Erm...

83
00:04:14,323 --> 00:04:17,483
Extra pillows?! Who do these people
think they are,

84
00:04:17,483 --> 00:04:19,443
the Princess and the Pea?!

85
00:04:19,443 --> 00:04:21,923
What? I knew you'd
regret this, Alison.

86
00:04:21,923 --> 00:04:23,843
You've got a couple
of perfect strangers

87
00:04:23,843 --> 00:04:26,803
in the servants' quarters
while you, the lady of the house,

88
00:04:26,803 --> 00:04:29,363
running around after them
like the maid.

89
00:04:29,363 --> 00:04:31,923
The world's gone
absolutely topsy-turvy.

90
00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:34,843
They're on holiday, that's all.
And they're paying us.

91
00:04:34,843 --> 00:04:36,203
Exactly. You're the staff.

92
00:04:36,203 --> 00:04:37,643
Oh...

93
00:04:37,643 --> 00:04:41,123
Ah! I'd love a little holiday, me.

94
00:04:41,123 --> 00:04:43,763
What be "holly day"?

95
00:04:43,763 --> 00:04:46,323
You mean you've never
been on holiday, Mary?

96
00:04:46,323 --> 00:04:47,763
Don't think so.

97
00:04:48,763 --> 00:04:51,723
Oh, Mary! Where do I start?

98
00:04:52,723 --> 00:04:54,963
Can I come with you
to see the guests?

99
00:04:54,963 --> 00:04:58,323
Erm, it's a bit... I kind of
want to be able to concentrate.

100
00:04:58,323 --> 00:05:01,403
Come on, then, tell us.
What did he say?

101
00:05:01,403 --> 00:05:03,923
He said hello to me. Well, he said
hello to both of us.

102
00:05:03,923 --> 00:05:07,323
Well, he was looking at me.
Was he? Yeah. I don't know he was.

103
00:05:07,323 --> 00:05:08,923
Does he look as good
in real life?

104
00:05:08,923 --> 00:05:11,603
All right. He looked
better, if anything.

105
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,843
He's so elegant,
the way he moves, in't he?

106
00:05:13,843 --> 00:05:17,243
Really, like, demure,
like a... flamingo or something.

107
00:05:17,243 --> 00:05:19,163
Yeah.
Ooh!

108
00:05:19,163 --> 00:05:21,963
Are you talking about Thomas?
Yeah.

109
00:05:21,963 --> 00:05:24,323
I just wish I could get to know
him. I reckon he'd be really

110
00:05:24,323 --> 00:05:25,963
sensitive and attentive.

111
00:05:25,963 --> 00:05:27,803
Yeah, careful
what you wish for!

112
00:05:29,283 --> 00:05:32,883
I mean, I know him.
He's one of my best friends.

113
00:05:32,883 --> 00:05:35,523
I could definitely introduce
you to him, if you like.

114
00:05:35,523 --> 00:05:36,563
What?!

115
00:05:36,563 --> 00:05:39,923
That is such a good idea,
Kitty. He would love that.

116
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,283
Are you serious?
Really? My Lord!

117
00:05:42,283 --> 00:05:45,323
In real, real life?
I can't believe that.

118
00:05:45,323 --> 00:05:47,883
Are you all right?

119
00:05:47,883 --> 00:05:49,243
What happened to yous?

120
00:05:50,843 --> 00:05:52,843
Just excited. Yeah. Yeah!

121
00:05:56,243 --> 00:05:59,803
I just remember his name!
The guy from the television.

122
00:05:59,803 --> 00:06:01,083
What was it?

123
00:06:01,083 --> 00:06:02,883
Hat.

124
00:06:02,883 --> 00:06:04,123
Sorry, "Hat"?

125
00:06:04,123 --> 00:06:05,443
Hat.

126
00:06:05,443 --> 00:06:06,603
Like... a hat?

127
00:06:06,603 --> 00:06:08,643
Yeah, but this was before hats.

128
00:06:08,643 --> 00:06:10,563
Well, they're not going
to find out his name

129
00:06:10,563 --> 00:06:12,043
by studying his bones, are they?

130
00:06:12,043 --> 00:06:13,843
This doesn't prove
a thing, Robin.

131
00:06:13,843 --> 00:06:15,003
His name was Hat!

132
00:06:15,003 --> 00:06:18,323
Oh! I remember now,
we make a trade.

133
00:06:18,323 --> 00:06:22,363
He give me furs and I give
him special tool.

134
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:27,603
It was a stone tied to a stick!
He's so naive.

135
00:06:27,603 --> 00:06:30,483
You can say what you like, Robin,
but it's hardly evidence, is it?

136
00:06:30,483 --> 00:06:33,003
Hmm? Ach!

137
00:06:35,163 --> 00:06:38,083
Ooh! Alison!
Bogeys at six o'clock.

138
00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:40,763
Oh, they're with me.
Hiya, Thomas.

139
00:06:40,763 --> 00:06:43,043
Hi. How are you doing today?
All right?

140
00:06:43,043 --> 00:06:44,763
Er, yes, thank you.

141
00:06:44,763 --> 00:06:47,523
So, these guys are really,
really big fans of yours,

142
00:06:47,523 --> 00:06:50,203
and if it's not too much trouble,
they'd like to meet you.

143
00:06:50,203 --> 00:06:51,563
Really?

144
00:06:51,563 --> 00:06:54,283
I was... meant to start
working on a new...

145
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,603
...but... but it's fine, it can
wait. Bring them forward.

146
00:06:56,603 --> 00:06:58,083
Come forward.

147
00:06:58,083 --> 00:07:00,723
Yes, that's it.

148
00:07:00,723 --> 00:07:02,603
Hi. Hello.

149
00:07:02,603 --> 00:07:05,203
Can I just say,
I think you're amazing.

150
00:07:05,203 --> 00:07:06,523
We think you're amazing.

151
00:07:06,523 --> 00:07:08,443
Really amazing.
Thank you.

152
00:07:08,443 --> 00:07:09,963
Can I ask you a question?

153
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:12,163
Er, yes, quickly. Be quick.

154
00:07:12,163 --> 00:07:14,123
What's your favourite, erm...

155
00:07:14,123 --> 00:07:15,683
...animal?
That's a good one.

156
00:07:15,683 --> 00:07:17,243
Probably a wild tiger.

157
00:07:17,243 --> 00:07:18,923
Yes! I told you!

158
00:07:18,923 --> 00:07:20,723
I told YOU that! Yes? You?

159
00:07:20,723 --> 00:07:22,803
Er, wh-wh-what's
your favourite colour?

160
00:07:22,803 --> 00:07:24,203
Burgundy, big time.

161
00:07:25,603 --> 00:07:27,443
No way!

162
00:07:27,443 --> 00:07:28,963
Alison? Yeah?

163
00:07:28,963 --> 00:07:31,683
What the bally heck
is going on?

164
00:07:31,683 --> 00:07:34,963
Ah. They took a bit of a shine
to my painting of Thomas

165
00:07:34,963 --> 00:07:36,883
in the basement. Right.

166
00:07:36,883 --> 00:07:39,083
And now he's some sort of demi-god?

167
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:41,403
They love him. What's
wrong with that?

168
00:07:41,403 --> 00:07:44,203
It's absurd! I mean, look at him.

169
00:07:44,203 --> 00:07:46,523
Alison, could we have a picture
with Thomas, please?

170
00:07:46,523 --> 00:07:48,283
Er, yeah, all right. OK.

171
00:07:48,283 --> 00:07:49,883
Very well.

172
00:07:49,883 --> 00:07:52,043
Can you do that?

173
00:07:53,843 --> 00:07:56,123
In-between you both?
Yeah, yeah.

174
00:07:57,963 --> 00:08:00,203
Oh, yeah. Oh. Yeah.

175
00:08:00,203 --> 00:08:01,443
Er, did you mean a painting?

176
00:08:01,443 --> 00:08:04,043
Oh, yeah. Doesn't have to be a big
one. Yeah just a little one.

177
00:08:04,043 --> 00:08:06,043
No! What's the matter with her?

178
00:08:06,043 --> 00:08:08,363
Cow. She's not doing the painting?

179
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,683
For goodness' sake!
Don't ask, don't get.

180
00:08:10,683 --> 00:08:11,763
Yeah, exactly.

181
00:08:11,763 --> 00:08:14,243
She's not doing them today, guys.
She's not doing paintings.

182
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:16,603
What about tomorrow? You'd have to
ask about tomorrow.

183
00:08:16,603 --> 00:08:18,323
I will.

184
00:08:26,763 --> 00:08:29,763
Oh-ho-ho! Didn't take long!

185
00:08:34,283 --> 00:08:35,443
Wha'?

186
00:08:40,283 --> 00:08:41,363
Ah!

187
00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:44,763
Oh!

188
00:08:44,763 --> 00:08:47,403
Great minds, eh?
Er, well, no, no.

189
00:08:47,403 --> 00:08:50,163
I simply wanted to see
who was lording it over Alison.

190
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:52,723
Well, I'll let you know
when the action starts.

191
00:08:52,723 --> 00:08:55,043
I told you, I'm not
remotely interested

192
00:08:55,043 --> 00:08:58,003
in watching this man and his wife
in the throes of marital...

193
00:09:01,883 --> 00:09:03,523
Oh!

194
00:09:06,803 --> 00:09:09,083
Your pillows.
I'm Alison, by the way.

195
00:09:09,083 --> 00:09:12,163
Shameful! Simpering like a servant!

196
00:09:12,163 --> 00:09:14,723
Hello? Hello!

197
00:09:14,723 --> 00:09:16,963
...and I said we were happy
to have them, and if there's

198
00:09:16,963 --> 00:09:19,003
anything else they need,
they should let us know.

199
00:09:19,003 --> 00:09:20,163
Right. And what did he say?

200
00:09:20,163 --> 00:09:22,403
He said they would let us
know if they need anything.

201
00:09:22,403 --> 00:09:24,163
OK, so... what's the problem?

202
00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:27,403
I just... I didn't get a good vibe.
Like, they didn't seem...

203
00:09:27,403 --> 00:09:29,443
...happy. What, like he was rude?

204
00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:32,403
No, just, like, weren't...

205
00:09:32,403 --> 00:09:34,443
...holiday-fied.

206
00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:36,763
Really? Well, do you think
there's something wrong

207
00:09:36,763 --> 00:09:39,203
with the room? Maybe those photos
do make it look too good.

208
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,603
Maybe. But what if it's nothing
to do with the room?

209
00:09:41,603 --> 00:09:43,003
Then that's not our fault.

210
00:09:43,003 --> 00:09:44,763
Yeah, but we want them
to have a good time.

211
00:09:44,763 --> 00:09:46,603
Yeah, but we can't make them
have a good time.

212
00:09:46,603 --> 00:09:49,283
If they don't have a good time,
they won't leave a good review.

213
00:09:49,283 --> 00:09:51,563
Yeah. Well, what do we do?

214
00:09:51,563 --> 00:09:54,763
Maybe you should go. I am not
asking them if they're unhappy.

215
00:09:54,763 --> 00:09:58,483
No! But just, y'know,
kind of go in

216
00:09:58,483 --> 00:10:01,643
under the radar,
just see what's up. Ah. Right.

217
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:04,123
Like, "Here's another pillow,
in case six isn't enough.

218
00:10:04,123 --> 00:10:05,603
"Ooh! Are you depressed?"

219
00:10:05,603 --> 00:10:08,963
Yeah. Maybe it'd just
make things worse.

220
00:10:08,963 --> 00:10:10,283
Yeah.

221
00:10:12,643 --> 00:10:15,203
This is hard. Yeah!

222
00:10:16,563 --> 00:10:18,683
There! You see?

223
00:10:18,683 --> 00:10:20,403
Tossa de Mar.

224
00:10:20,403 --> 00:10:21,803
Paradise.

225
00:10:21,803 --> 00:10:23,883
But that's across the seas!

226
00:10:23,883 --> 00:10:26,203
You must have journeyed
for days and days!

227
00:10:26,203 --> 00:10:30,323
Oh, no, no, because we flew
there on an aeroplane.

228
00:10:30,323 --> 00:10:34,163
Ohhh! Yes! Now, to get the most
out of your holiday,

229
00:10:34,163 --> 00:10:38,483
you need to get an early flight,
so we'd get Daley up about 3am.

230
00:10:38,483 --> 00:10:40,003
3am, before the birds?!

231
00:10:40,003 --> 00:10:44,203
Yeah! Get him in the Datsun.
Ten-pence piece for the toll,

232
00:10:44,203 --> 00:10:46,123
Blue Riband in the glove box,

233
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:49,483
Status Quo in the tape deck,
and you're on the motorway.

234
00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:51,683
Now, you need
to get to the airport

235
00:10:51,683 --> 00:10:53,803
at least four hours
before your flight

236
00:10:53,803 --> 00:10:56,683
so you can check in your bags
and go through passport control.

237
00:10:56,683 --> 00:10:57,803
Passp...?

238
00:10:57,803 --> 00:11:00,043
Passport! Passport, yeah...

239
00:11:00,043 --> 00:11:01,843
Yeah, yeah. It's an
official document

240
00:11:01,843 --> 00:11:03,523
given to you by the Government.

241
00:11:03,523 --> 00:11:05,683
It offers you protection
as a British citizen

242
00:11:05,683 --> 00:11:07,883
should you get into any trouble.

243
00:11:07,883 --> 00:11:09,003
Troubles?!

244
00:11:09,003 --> 00:11:12,203
Yeah, like, y'know,
if you lose your luggage, say,

245
00:11:12,203 --> 00:11:13,523
or, erm, find yourself

246
00:11:13,523 --> 00:11:16,043
in the middle of a military coup
and need to be evacuated.

247
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,203
Oh...

248
00:11:17,203 --> 00:11:18,683
But that only happened once.

249
00:11:18,683 --> 00:11:21,043
Now, duty-free!

250
00:11:21,043 --> 00:11:25,083
We're talking gin, Toblerones,
fags, if you smoke 'em.

251
00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:27,123
He had a tattoo!

252
00:11:27,123 --> 00:11:28,923
Hat, he had a tattoo on his back.

253
00:11:28,923 --> 00:11:30,363
Mm.

254
00:11:30,363 --> 00:11:32,683
Sailor, was he? Or a convict?

255
00:11:32,683 --> 00:11:33,803
What was it?

256
00:11:33,803 --> 00:11:35,683
It was like a big X.

257
00:11:35,683 --> 00:11:36,923
X marks the spot!

258
00:11:36,923 --> 00:11:39,403
Where was the treasure?
In his bottom?

259
00:11:41,403 --> 00:11:44,043
He's so funny! He's so funny!

260
00:11:44,043 --> 00:11:46,323
He's so quick!

261
00:11:46,323 --> 00:11:49,483
Look, his name was Hat,
gave me this fur,

262
00:11:49,483 --> 00:11:51,883
had a tattoo on his back.

263
00:11:51,883 --> 00:11:54,003
Again, Robin, this proves nothing.

264
00:11:54,003 --> 00:11:56,443
Yes. I mean,
you could tell us he had a...

265
00:11:56,443 --> 00:11:59,003
He's going to say something funny
again. Listen to this. Shhh!

266
00:11:59,003 --> 00:12:01,363
Shut up! Oh, here it comes!

267
00:12:01,363 --> 00:12:03,843
That's spoiled it now!

268
00:12:03,843 --> 00:12:06,003
Whatever it was,
it was going to be funny.

269
00:12:06,003 --> 00:12:08,683
Yeah, definitely!
And clever, too, probably.

270
00:12:08,683 --> 00:12:10,403
Why are they here?

271
00:12:10,403 --> 00:12:12,563
Why are you here?

272
00:12:12,563 --> 00:12:14,363
Why are you fawning over this man?

273
00:12:14,363 --> 00:12:16,883
What has he done to
earn your admiration?

274
00:12:16,883 --> 00:12:20,203
Well, he's famous, in't he?
My mate said he was famous.

275
00:12:20,203 --> 00:12:21,563
Yeah, I said that.

276
00:12:21,563 --> 00:12:22,883
Oh, good grief!

277
00:12:22,883 --> 00:12:24,843
I mean, if you're going to
adulate somebody,

278
00:12:24,843 --> 00:12:26,323
at least choose
a person of merit,

279
00:12:26,323 --> 00:12:28,923
a person who's achieved
something. Churchill. Monty.

280
00:12:28,923 --> 00:12:31,843
Lord Brigadier Sir Anthony
Bartholomew Raisinby Jones.

281
00:12:33,563 --> 00:12:35,323
Who? Who?

282
00:12:35,323 --> 00:12:36,963
Heroes.

283
00:12:36,963 --> 00:12:38,763
Men.

284
00:12:40,963 --> 00:12:42,523
I need some air.

285
00:12:42,523 --> 00:12:43,763
Oh, I think he's off.

286
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,003
I wonder where he's going.

287
00:12:45,003 --> 00:12:48,043
Maybe he's hot and he needs
to take his top off. Don't, don't!

288
00:12:48,043 --> 00:12:49,603
Oh, it's relentless!

289
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:52,483
Guys, I think Thomas
needs some space.

290
00:12:52,483 --> 00:12:54,283
I'm afraid he's very busy

291
00:12:54,283 --> 00:12:56,283
and he cannot be disturbed
while he works,

292
00:12:56,283 --> 00:12:58,523
so that's enough for today,
thank you.

293
00:12:58,523 --> 00:13:00,203
What?

294
00:13:00,203 --> 00:13:01,723
He's very busy.

295
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:07,523
Ohhh!

296
00:13:07,523 --> 00:13:10,363
You all right, Thomas?
Oh, Alison,

297
00:13:10,363 --> 00:13:12,963
you've no idea what it's like
to be pursued endlessly,

298
00:13:12,963 --> 00:13:15,403
obsessively, objectified, harassed,

299
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:17,443
given no space.

300
00:13:17,443 --> 00:13:20,363
Yeah, that sounds like hell...

301
00:13:20,363 --> 00:13:23,323
You look radiant today,
by the way.

302
00:13:24,923 --> 00:13:26,723
Crikey,
this is depressing.

303
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,003
Yes. I thought my marriage
was cold.

304
00:13:29,003 --> 00:13:32,163
See? This is what happens when you
get to know each other too well.

305
00:13:32,163 --> 00:13:34,443
No mystery left, no spark.

306
00:13:34,443 --> 00:13:36,883
A fine excuse. I'm sure
there's plenty of spark

307
00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:38,403
under the surface.

308
00:13:38,403 --> 00:13:40,643
Well, it takes two to tango.

309
00:13:40,643 --> 00:13:42,683
Hmm.

310
00:13:42,683 --> 00:13:45,483
Oh! Seriously? It's half nine!

311
00:13:45,483 --> 00:13:48,963
Which is a perfectly acceptable time
for a lady to retire.

312
00:13:48,963 --> 00:13:50,163
You would say that.

313
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,963
And what exactly
do you mean by that?

314
00:13:51,963 --> 00:13:54,243
Well, you're a square,
aren't you? Just like her.

315
00:13:54,243 --> 00:13:56,563
Oh! You've never known
how to handle a woman...

316
00:14:04,923 --> 00:14:06,763
Tea and coffee there.

317
00:14:07,963 --> 00:14:12,483
Oh, Mary! Holiday breakfasts!
Heaven on Earth!

318
00:14:12,483 --> 00:14:15,883
You can have cereals
and a cooked breakfast.

319
00:14:15,883 --> 00:14:19,563
And pastries! You have to
make sure you time it right,

320
00:14:19,563 --> 00:14:21,923
because they leave the cooked
bits in the serving trays,

321
00:14:21,923 --> 00:14:25,003
so you've got to go up when a fresh
batch of scrambled eggs go in.

322
00:14:25,003 --> 00:14:26,243
Then you've got to pounce!

323
00:14:26,243 --> 00:14:28,803
Otherwise you load your plate
up with sausages and beans

324
00:14:28,803 --> 00:14:30,683
and so on, only to find
you're stuck with

325
00:14:30,683 --> 00:14:32,963
the cold, milky scraps
at the bottom of the tray!

326
00:14:32,963 --> 00:14:35,083
Oh, no! Yeah.

327
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:38,043
Anyway, after breakfast...

328
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:39,283
...it's off to the beach!

329
00:14:39,283 --> 00:14:40,643
Yay! Weather permitting.

330
00:14:40,643 --> 00:14:42,883
Oh, yeah... Yeah.

331
00:14:46,483 --> 00:14:48,003
They're not talking
to each other.

332
00:14:48,003 --> 00:14:49,843
Right. Something's definitely up.

333
00:14:49,843 --> 00:14:51,643
I mean, maybe they didn't sleep
very well.

334
00:14:51,643 --> 00:14:53,563
I told you we should have tried
that mattress!

335
00:14:53,563 --> 00:14:55,723
You're joking! That mattress
is better than ours.

336
00:14:55,723 --> 00:14:56,963
It cost more than the TV.

337
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:59,203
Well, hopefully
this'll cheer them up.

338
00:14:59,203 --> 00:15:01,483
Oh, my God! Full of conversation
this morning...!

339
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:04,883
Ha! Ready and waiting, if there's
a conversation to be had.

340
00:15:04,883 --> 00:15:06,723
Oh, really? I hadn't noticed.

341
00:15:06,723 --> 00:15:10,083
Maybe if she took her head out of
her smartphone for one second,

342
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:12,083
he might think it was
worth saying something.

343
00:15:12,083 --> 00:15:13,363
She's busy.

344
00:15:13,363 --> 00:15:17,283
Leave your work at home, love!
Supposed to be on holiday, yeah?

345
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,243
Well, would he rather be
with his wife

346
00:15:19,243 --> 00:15:20,963
or going off on his bicycle?

347
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:22,323
She may as well be working,

348
00:15:22,323 --> 00:15:24,843
if he's more interested
in that contraption.

349
00:15:24,843 --> 00:15:26,883
Anything else I can get you?
No, it's fine.

350
00:15:26,883 --> 00:15:30,963
No. Nothing more, thank you. OK.

351
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:33,203
I've got some intel. Ooh.

352
00:15:33,203 --> 00:15:35,923
Ah, that's enough butter,
thank you.

353
00:15:35,923 --> 00:15:37,963
Oh! There he is! There he is!

354
00:15:37,963 --> 00:15:40,803
Oh, my goodness, the dew is still
upon the grass,

355
00:15:40,803 --> 00:15:43,003
and already they come
for their pound of flesh.

356
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,083
Katherine, would you be
a darling and detain them

357
00:15:46,083 --> 00:15:48,523
while I compose myself?
Of course!

358
00:15:48,523 --> 00:15:50,283
Right, morning, everyone.

359
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:53,203
Thomas will be able to do some
meeting and greeting shortly,

360
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:55,883
so if I can ask you
to please form a queue...

361
00:15:55,883 --> 00:15:58,003
Actually, I've slept here.
You pushed in.

362
00:15:58,003 --> 00:16:01,323
No! No! All right, we all
get a turn. Will we all get a turn?

363
00:16:02,523 --> 00:16:04,443
Robin! Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey!

364
00:16:06,003 --> 00:16:07,923
You heard lady! Form a queue!

365
00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:09,643
Why are you stood
in front of me?

366
00:16:09,643 --> 00:16:11,363
Excuse me... All right!

367
00:16:12,443 --> 00:16:15,363
It's empty, you know.
All this.

368
00:16:15,363 --> 00:16:17,603
They don't know the first thing
about you, Thorne.

369
00:16:17,603 --> 00:16:19,603
They've just formed
this... infatuation

370
00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:21,123
based on an image.

371
00:16:21,123 --> 00:16:22,763
They're waiting on the stairs.

372
00:16:22,763 --> 00:16:24,403
I thought you could have
an hour now

373
00:16:24,403 --> 00:16:26,643
to relax and then a meet-and-greet
with the fans,

374
00:16:26,643 --> 00:16:28,403
which will take you
up until Food Club,

375
00:16:28,403 --> 00:16:30,123
or I can get you out of that,
if you want.

376
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,603
Wonderful, Kitty. I don't know
what I'd do without you.

377
00:16:32,603 --> 00:16:34,683
No, it's a pleasure
to be on the team.

378
00:16:34,683 --> 00:16:35,843
Ridiculous!

379
00:16:35,843 --> 00:16:38,683
You mustn't be so
jealous, Captain.

380
00:16:38,683 --> 00:16:40,803
Believe me,
you wouldn't want this.

381
00:16:40,803 --> 00:16:44,523
It's a tiresome consequence
of the life of a successful artist.

382
00:16:44,523 --> 00:16:46,443
They don't care about your art!

383
00:16:46,443 --> 00:16:49,683
Faradiddle, sir! They love me
for my poems.

384
00:16:49,683 --> 00:16:51,123
Tish-tosh!

385
00:16:51,123 --> 00:16:53,283
Fine. We'll prove it.

386
00:16:53,283 --> 00:16:55,123
Katherine, change of plan.

387
00:16:55,123 --> 00:16:58,403
Tell the creatures I shall give
a recital in the ballroom at noon.

388
00:16:59,923 --> 00:17:01,163
Then we shall see!

389
00:17:01,163 --> 00:17:03,363
Mm. And then we'll see.

390
00:17:03,363 --> 00:17:05,763
And then... we will see.

391
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:08,683
You're insane. No way.
It's like vandalism.

392
00:17:08,683 --> 00:17:11,403
Or they can have a miserable time
and leave a crappy first review

393
00:17:11,403 --> 00:17:13,483
and ruin our B&B
before it's even started!

394
00:17:13,483 --> 00:17:16,563
What kind of review would you give
if the host slashed your bike tyres?

395
00:17:16,563 --> 00:17:18,803
Not slash. Gently puncture.

396
00:17:18,803 --> 00:17:19,883
What?

397
00:17:19,883 --> 00:17:22,123
We'll make it look like
a stone did it, or something.

398
00:17:22,123 --> 00:17:23,843
And then we'll offer him
a repair kit

399
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,763
and he'll think
we're really helpful.

400
00:17:25,763 --> 00:17:27,523
It is not our job
to fix their marriage.

401
00:17:27,523 --> 00:17:28,923
But imagine if it worked!

402
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:30,723
It would be the best holiday ever.

403
00:17:30,723 --> 00:17:33,203
It's a small misdemeanour
for the greater good.

404
00:17:36,203 --> 00:17:38,243
Fine. But you're doing
the tyre. Yes!

405
00:17:39,523 --> 00:17:41,763
I forgot to mention,
you've got to get up early

406
00:17:41,763 --> 00:17:43,723
to put your towels
on the sunbeds

407
00:17:43,723 --> 00:17:45,563
before you go to breakfast, yes.

408
00:17:45,563 --> 00:17:47,923
Now, I like to go for a dip first,

409
00:17:47,923 --> 00:17:50,083
before I put my sun cream on,

410
00:17:50,083 --> 00:17:51,563
otherwise you just wash it off.

411
00:17:51,563 --> 00:17:54,563
And believe me, you don't want
to have sunburn! No!

412
00:17:54,563 --> 00:17:57,963
Daley got it so bad once,
we had to cover his whole body

413
00:17:57,963 --> 00:18:00,763
in bicarbonate of soda!
And that were on t'first day!

414
00:18:00,763 --> 00:18:03,603
So we had to keep him
in t'shade until we went home.

415
00:18:03,603 --> 00:18:07,163
And then, a week later,
he shed his skin like a snake!

416
00:18:07,163 --> 00:18:09,643
And then there was the holiday
where we all got food poisoning

417
00:18:09,643 --> 00:18:11,363
from the dodgy beach melons.

418
00:18:11,363 --> 00:18:13,443
Or the one where someone
pinched me wallet

419
00:18:13,443 --> 00:18:16,043
and the police accused me
of lying! And...

420
00:18:16,043 --> 00:18:18,163
And come to think of it, Mary,

421
00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:20,603
holidays are a bloody nightmare!

422
00:18:20,603 --> 00:18:21,963
Keep clear!

423
00:18:23,163 --> 00:18:25,123
They're nothing but stress.

424
00:18:25,123 --> 00:18:27,523
Sorry. Sorry.

425
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,363
Still...

426
00:18:29,363 --> 00:18:32,083
...sound like an adventure to me!

427
00:18:32,083 --> 00:18:35,003
I never did leave my
town of birth, so...

428
00:18:35,003 --> 00:18:36,483
What, not once?

429
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:38,483
No, never, no.

430
00:18:38,483 --> 00:18:40,083
No.

431
00:18:40,083 --> 00:18:43,283
Was a life of
toiling the land for us,

432
00:18:43,283 --> 00:18:47,683
you know, outside all the day,
planting, harvesting,

433
00:18:47,683 --> 00:18:51,643
fetching water from the well
and logs for the fire.

434
00:18:51,643 --> 00:18:54,443
Teaching the childrens
how to weave baskets

435
00:18:54,443 --> 00:18:56,003
five potatoes high!

436
00:18:56,003 --> 00:18:59,403
Feeding the livestock
and picking fruit.

437
00:18:59,403 --> 00:19:02,323
Oh, and pressing apples
for the cider.

438
00:19:02,323 --> 00:19:05,723
Sometimes would my husband
go to the lake to fish,

439
00:19:05,723 --> 00:19:07,163
and then I would join him

440
00:19:07,163 --> 00:19:09,603
and prepare a fire
to cook the catch.

441
00:19:09,603 --> 00:19:13,483
And then would we huddle
under a blanket and eat

442
00:19:13,483 --> 00:19:16,283
as the sun sank
beyond the trees

443
00:19:16,283 --> 00:19:18,483
and the birds sang
for their bedtimes.

444
00:19:21,283 --> 00:19:23,603
Well! Mary...

445
00:19:24,603 --> 00:19:26,683
...one day of your life

446
00:19:26,683 --> 00:19:28,923
sounds like my perfect holiday.

447
00:19:30,323 --> 00:19:32,403
Five stars.

448
00:19:32,403 --> 00:19:35,643
Oh. Well, I suppose
it was all right.

449
00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:39,363
Up to a point.

450
00:19:39,363 --> 00:19:42,403
Sure. Sure.

451
00:20:29,163 --> 00:20:32,203
{\an8}I hope you're right about this.

452
00:20:32,203 --> 00:20:33,603
{\an8}Mm.

453
00:20:39,163 --> 00:20:40,363
Oh, it's so exciting!

454
00:20:40,363 --> 00:20:42,603
Do you have a ticket?
I didn't know we needed...

455
00:20:42,603 --> 00:20:45,163
Well, they're make-believe, so...

456
00:20:45,163 --> 00:20:47,163
Thank you! Ticket, please.

457
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:48,443
Thank you!

458
00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:58,683
And now the moment
you've all been waiting for -

459
00:20:58,683 --> 00:21:00,963
an audience with Thomas Thorne.

460
00:21:08,683 --> 00:21:11,403
Sh, sh, sh, sh.

461
00:21:12,963 --> 00:21:14,923
Hmm...

462
00:21:14,923 --> 00:21:17,123
This first poem...

463
00:21:17,123 --> 00:21:19,403
...is called Misty Glade.

464
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,843
Misty Glade!
It's good, that.

465
00:21:26,843 --> 00:21:29,683
I hear the running water

466
00:21:29,683 --> 00:21:32,003
It rushes to be with the sea

467
00:21:32,003 --> 00:21:33,203
And so it is with me

468
00:21:34,723 --> 00:21:37,443
She stands among the birch and elk

469
00:21:37,443 --> 00:21:39,123
The cobwebs shimmer...

470
00:21:39,123 --> 00:21:41,043
Where are the cobwebs?
I don't know.

471
00:21:41,043 --> 00:21:43,683
Maybe in the branches
of the birch and elk.

472
00:21:43,683 --> 00:21:46,963
The dew dresses
the forest floor

473
00:21:46,963 --> 00:21:49,003
A crystal carpet

474
00:21:49,003 --> 00:21:52,243
And here a door!
That once...

475
00:21:52,243 --> 00:21:54,123
A door in the woods?

476
00:21:54,123 --> 00:21:57,923
I think it might be a metaphor,
like an opening of some kind.

477
00:21:57,923 --> 00:22:00,563
Not a real door?
Cease...

478
00:22:00,563 --> 00:22:02,803
...the chatter.

479
00:22:04,683 --> 00:22:06,523
Thank you.

480
00:22:06,523 --> 00:22:08,003
I'll start again.

481
00:22:09,283 --> 00:22:11,803
I hear the running water

482
00:22:11,803 --> 00:22:13,723
It rushes to be with the sea...

483
00:22:14,923 --> 00:22:17,403
A verdant spr...

484
00:22:17,403 --> 00:22:18,883
That's not how I read it.

485
00:22:18,883 --> 00:22:20,883
May I finish?
Is this going to be long?

486
00:22:20,883 --> 00:22:22,123
Cos I need the toilet.

487
00:22:22,123 --> 00:22:23,723
Is it meant to be more abstract?

488
00:22:23,723 --> 00:22:25,283
I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

489
00:22:25,283 --> 00:22:29,523
You're not supposed to get it,
you philistine wazzock! It's art!

490
00:22:31,643 --> 00:22:34,323
Yeah, but it's confusing.
So confusing!

491
00:22:34,323 --> 00:22:38,363
It is ambiguous.
If you don't like it, get out!

492
00:22:38,363 --> 00:22:41,843
Fine. I will.
No worries, mate.

493
00:22:41,843 --> 00:22:44,163
It's rubbish, anyway.
I don't like it here, anyway.

494
00:22:44,163 --> 00:22:46,363
Sorry, but that's really rude.
You're the wazzock!

495
00:22:48,323 --> 00:22:51,483
Ah! I've got a poem.

496
00:22:51,483 --> 00:22:54,203
There once was a poet
called Thomas

497
00:22:54,203 --> 00:22:57,603
Who suddenly
found himself famous

498
00:22:57,603 --> 00:22:59,083
Thought it was grand

499
00:22:59,083 --> 00:23:01,283
Until then, he find... found...

500
00:23:01,283 --> 00:23:02,683
Well, I can't do it!

501
00:23:02,683 --> 00:23:05,283
The point is, I was right, hmm?

502
00:23:05,283 --> 00:23:08,323
Hmm! Good. Carry on.

503
00:23:10,763 --> 00:23:12,723
Well, I liked it.

504
00:23:12,723 --> 00:23:14,803
You're sweet, Kitty.
You don't have to pretend.

505
00:23:14,803 --> 00:23:18,563
No, really! I especially liked
the one about the egg.

506
00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:21,723
It's funny, I don't like eating
eggs, but I like poems about them.

507
00:23:23,323 --> 00:23:26,003
What was next? I think the diary's
clear now.

508
00:23:26,003 --> 00:23:27,363
Yes.

509
00:23:40,883 --> 00:23:42,843
{\an8}Alison?

510
00:23:42,843 --> 00:23:44,843
{\an8}They're coming back!

511
00:23:47,883 --> 00:23:50,163
Awww! It worked!

512
00:23:50,163 --> 00:23:52,563
Looks like it. Yes!

513
00:23:52,563 --> 00:23:53,723
Thanks, guys.

514
00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:55,443
No problem.
You're welcome.

515
00:23:55,443 --> 00:23:58,803
Sometimes, all it takes
is a little bit of connection.

516
00:23:58,803 --> 00:24:00,403
Isn't that right, Julian?

517
00:24:00,403 --> 00:24:03,363
Took the words
right out of my mouth.

518
00:24:04,683 --> 00:24:08,563
Hello! Anniversary is back on!

519
00:24:09,723 --> 00:24:12,043
Everybody, come quick!

520
00:24:15,683 --> 00:24:17,603
Five stars, here we come.

521
00:24:23,403 --> 00:24:25,763
Scientists
have learnt a vast amount...

522
00:24:25,763 --> 00:24:27,203
Oh! This again, is it?

523
00:24:27,203 --> 00:24:28,643
I'm telling you, it's Hat!

524
00:24:28,643 --> 00:24:30,763
The 3D modelling may have revealed
a picture

525
00:24:30,763 --> 00:24:32,963
of what our mountain man
would have looked like,

526
00:24:32,963 --> 00:24:35,123
but what else can
we learn about him?

527
00:24:35,123 --> 00:24:37,123
How might he have sounded,
for example?

528
00:24:37,123 --> 00:24:38,563
He would have been
very resonant

529
00:24:38,563 --> 00:24:41,163
in the chest,
and using this model

530
00:24:41,163 --> 00:24:43,283
gives us a very good idea
of the vowel sounds

531
00:24:43,283 --> 00:24:46,443
the vocal anatomy
could have produced.

532
00:24:50,483 --> 00:24:52,523
Oh, that's very good!

533
00:24:52,523 --> 00:24:54,363
He did have stupid voice.

534
00:24:54,363 --> 00:24:57,603
Incredible to hear him almost
speaking to us across the millennia.

535
00:24:57,603 --> 00:25:01,003
And is there any significance to the
tool that was found with the body?

536
00:25:01,003 --> 00:25:03,923
The edge-it! That's what I gave him!
I told you!

537
00:25:03,923 --> 00:25:05,843
There's
some debate around this.

538
00:25:05,843 --> 00:25:07,603
Perhaps it was
something ceremonial.

539
00:25:07,603 --> 00:25:10,283
Or perhaps it was a practical tool
for opening hard shells.

540
00:25:10,283 --> 00:25:13,603
Yeah! It was a tool for taking furs
off of idiots.

541
00:25:13,603 --> 00:25:16,723
We do know this was a ritualistic
society, as is evidenced

542
00:25:16,723 --> 00:25:18,163
by the tattoo on his back.

543
00:25:18,163 --> 00:25:20,123
Yes! In your face!

544
00:25:20,123 --> 00:25:22,483
Well, I never! My goodness!

545
00:25:22,483 --> 00:25:25,083
Well, clearly we owe you
an apology, Robin.

546
00:25:25,083 --> 00:25:26,723
Well...

547
00:25:26,723 --> 00:25:28,963
...I guess so.

548
00:25:28,963 --> 00:25:31,003
But one thing
the experts agree on

549
00:25:31,003 --> 00:25:33,283
is that the cause of death
was likely hypothermia.

550
00:25:33,283 --> 00:25:35,483
If this man had been wearing
the kind of furs

551
00:25:35,483 --> 00:25:38,723
you would expect of this time,
he would have been well protected.

552
00:25:38,723 --> 00:25:41,083
Those, of course, would have
been preserved with him,

553
00:25:41,083 --> 00:25:46,283
so we can only speculate as to why
he was out here without his furs.

554
00:25:46,283 --> 00:25:47,763
Poor man.

555
00:25:47,763 --> 00:25:51,243
It would have been a...
...cold, lonely death.

556
00:25:53,443 --> 00:25:56,123
You know, actually,
I don't think it is this guy.

557
00:25:56,123 --> 00:25:57,563
That's not Hat. No.

558
00:25:57,563 --> 00:26:00,003
Yeah, he had a very different
tattoo, now I think about it.

559
00:26:00,003 --> 00:26:01,963
It was more like a little cross
than an X.

560
00:26:01,963 --> 00:26:03,563
I don't know who this guy is.

561
00:26:03,563 --> 00:26:05,483
I think we should watch
The Wire.

562
00:26:05,483 --> 00:26:07,803
I want to watch The Wire.
Anyone?

563
00:26:08,883 --> 00:26:12,523
Hmm...

564
00:26:20,803 --> 00:26:22,483
Hmm! A review.

565
00:26:23,883 --> 00:26:28,163
"Lovely house. Pleasant stay.
Wi-Fi was patchy. Three stars."

566
00:26:28,163 --> 00:26:30,043
Ohhh, for fu...

567
00:26:34,483 --> 00:26:36,163
Morning! Hey...

568
00:26:36,163 --> 00:26:37,323
What are you doing here?

569
00:26:37,323 --> 00:26:38,883
I wanted to hear some more about

570
00:26:38,883 --> 00:26:42,243
Lord Brigadier Sir Anthony
Bartholomew Raisinby Jones.

571
00:26:42,243 --> 00:26:43,923
Really?

572
00:26:43,923 --> 00:26:45,363
Oh! Excellent.

573
00:26:45,363 --> 00:26:47,083
Well, erm, fascinating chap, really.

574
00:26:47,083 --> 00:26:48,643
Yeah, I met him at headquarters.

575
00:26:48,643 --> 00:26:50,443
He went on to Africa,
I think...

576
00:26:50,443 --> 00:26:52,603
He really got in amongst it.
Really?