1 00:00:01,480 --> 00:00:03,596 I saw you on the swing. — Were you watching me? 2 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:04,868 Not in a creepy way. 3 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,951 It's my first day at work and I'm already nervous. 4 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,558 Welcome back, Miri Matteson. 5 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,153 I don't remember you. 6 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:11,753 Because we only just met. 7 00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:14,600 Oh, my God, can you just get it into your big, stupid married head 8 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,789 that this is not gonna happen? Goodbye. 9 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:16,830 Up a bit higher. 10 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:17,955 Like this? — Yeah. 11 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:20,271 I can't believe I didn't realise. 12 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,799 What? — Well, the caterpillar. 13 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:22,790 Oh, God. 14 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:23,995 You need me. — No, I don't. 15 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:25,519 Yeah, you're lonely. — No, I'm not. 16 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:28,669 Apparently it's where some girl bludgeoned someone to death. 17 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:29,835 It's not the version I heard. 18 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:32,440 Apart from that, you're just like a normal person, really. 19 00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:33,515 I am a normal person. 20 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:35,391 THEY SCREAM — Shit the bed! 21 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,195 SHE SIGHS 22 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:13,714 MANDY ON TAPE: Right, OK, I’ll start. 23 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,637 MIRI ON TAPE: Oh, Mandy’s gonna start! 24 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:18,714 MANDY: Miri, you ’re not taking it seriously. — MIRI: / am taking it serious! 25 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,751 But you ’re taking it too seriously, I’m just gonna start. 26 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,508 SHE SINGS: # Last night/ was dreaming # 27 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,917 # / was locked in a prison cell # 28 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:28,916 THEY LAUGH — BOTH SING: # When / woke up # 29 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:33,915 # l was screaming, calling out your name. # 30 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,678 WOMAN: Let me guess, you spoke to Kathy. 31 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:46,631 She said we could wait and Elsie would be squeezed in. 32 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,636 Well, Kathy mainlines CBD oil, so... 33 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:50,518 if you wanna wait, it's your life. 34 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:51,875 Next! 35 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,114 Hi, my name's Miri Matteson, I haven't been here for ages 36 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,479 but I need to re—register. 37 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,114 Your last visit was September 2000. 38 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,752 Yeah. — That's a long time ago. 39 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:04,912 I'm, uh... I'm very healthy. 40 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,952 Well, I need an updated ID and proof of address. 41 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:10,674 Uh, I don't, I don't have anything at the moment. 42 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,751 Bank statement, home insurance? 43 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,028 I'm—I'm not on any of the bills. 44 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:15,629 So you don't pay bills? 45 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:16,908 Oh, no, it's my parents' house. 46 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:18,993 Wish my parents paid for me. 47 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,712 It's not like that. — Mobile bill? 48 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:21,909 Oh, I don't have a mobile. 49 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:23,874 How can you not have a mobile? 50 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:26,150 Look, | just need a doctor to look at my head. 51 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,077 Well, | just need a proof of residence. 52 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:29,356 | live there. 53 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,630 Yes, I know, with Mummy and Daddy who pay the bills 54 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:33,716 but I'm gonna need a piece of paper that tells me that. 55 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,394 OK, so what if I've been away for a long time? 56 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,119 Where have you been? — Somewhere. 57 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:39,475 Where? — Does it matter? 58 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:43,911 Look, I have an infected cut on my head and I need to see a doctor. 59 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:45,475 Go to A&E. 60 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,432 No hospitals, I want to come here. 61 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,035 Well, then you're gonna have to start being a big grown—up girl 62 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:51,752 that pays some bills now, aren't you? 63 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,150 Next! 64 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,276 I'm sorry. 65 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:58,554 Also, not sorry. 66 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:04,629 Oh, my God. 67 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,229 SHE GASPS 68 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,880 I got the ones round the back. I could re—use the Blu—tac. 69 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:21,559 Oh, God, I'm so sorry, this and the smashed window. 70 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,830 It's fine, I'm just waiting for some new glass, so... 71 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:24,710 I can't open. 72 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:27,149 The brick was meant for me, it wasn't meant to ruin your new business. 73 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,395 Mm, I don't know. I'm sort of a murderer too. 74 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:33,036 I'm the pie shop destroyer, so, we're both outsiders 75 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:35,793 and it could've been meant for both of us. — Yeah, I really doubt that. 76 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,353 Look, just go and have a nice day off. 77 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,233 When was the last time you did something nice, un—prison—y? 78 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:41,474 Go to the 200 or something. 79 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,160 I don't wanna go to the zoo, I wanna work and I wanna help. 80 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,714 Yeah, and you will, as soon as I've got a new window 81 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,358 and some customers again. 82 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:50,830 It's all good. Keep your chin up. 83 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,712 We can't let the bastards win, can we? 84 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:53,590 No. — No! 85 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:55,278 No! — That's the spirit. High five. 86 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:56,756 Oh. — Oh, sorry. 87 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:57,630 Try again. — Yeah. 88 00:03:57,880 --> 00:03:58,915 Con... you've gotta concentrate. 89 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,518 I tell you what, little tip, look at the elbow. 90 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:01,470 OK. — Always works. 91 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,432 This could've cost me my job, Janice, and my job is all l have right now. 92 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,869 Bullshit. You're one of the lucky ones. 93 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,190 One of the most privileged girls I've dealt with. 94 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:13,798 I'm getting shit sent to me, Janice. 95 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,630 Graffiti on the house and now somebody's putting these things all around town. 96 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:23,150 I know this is frustrating, but take a step back 97 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:24,753 a bit of prank poopy. 98 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:25,755 Realpoopy - Ooh! ' 99 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,751 Someone's got a new photocopier! 100 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,957 It's not like the victim's father's turned up at your work and stabbed you 101 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,399 in front of nine people with a sword 102 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,031 which hasn't ever happened actually. — Oh, my God... 103 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:41,157 Your life post—prison is going really well, you need to realise that and be grateful. 104 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,995 I deal with broken women all day long, and you, you've got it all. 105 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,989 You just need to lower your expectations and get over yourself a bit 106 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:50,675 in a nice way. 107 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:53,910 Oh... 108 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,509 you look like a rabbit. — Alright, thanks. 109 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,391 Lara Boback. 110 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,796 Here's a tip, if you're gonna kill someone, don't kill a copper's daughter. 111 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,239 Janice! — I'm just saying. 112 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,670 Oh, God. 113 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:13,395 I keep, um... 114 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,837 I keep listening to this, uh, this tape that we made 115 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,598 the... the day before it happened. 116 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:20,675 Oh, my God. 117 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:21,630 What? 118 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,352 You can't change what is done, it's done. 119 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,836 You can only change what you haven't done 120 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,713 yet... like, right now. 121 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,315 What? — Eh? 122 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:32,588 What? — Look, I'm tired. 123 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,594 You know what, take that tape, dash it in the bin. Boom. 124 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,676 And then go and do something nice for yourself. 125 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,113 Go to the 200 or something. 126 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,116 I don't wanna go to the zoo, why is everyone trying to make me 127 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:42,513 go to the zoo? — Fine. 128 00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:44,508 Try pilates. 129 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:45,870 No, actually, don't. 130 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:50,517 I did that one time for a whole year, nothing changed, and then I found out 131 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:54,269 I hadn't been doing that thing where you try and squeeze your bum hole shut 132 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,954 and then you suck your pum—pum up into it. 133 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,152 SHE SIGHS Right. 134 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:00,835 And if anyone asks... 135 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,597 we meet in my office, yeah? 136 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,430 Yeah, but, like, we could meet in your office? 137 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:08,118 No, I like coming to your house. 138 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:10,277 Your biscuit game is strong. 139 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,514 SHE CHUCKLES 140 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:13,669 Got any Jaffas? 141 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:19,635 Oh, Jesus! I thought you were your father. 142 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:20,949 Is he very frightening? 143 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,029 I didn't rinse the plates. — Ooh. 144 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,593 Yeah, and you've got to rinse them 145 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,477 really rinse them, saves energy. 146 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,717 But surely if you really, really rinse them, then you may as well have washed them 147 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:33,320 so isn't it, like, more wasteful in the end? 148 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,556 Oh, God, don't tell him, he'll implode. 149 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,799 Mum, do you wanna do something today, like, you and me? 150 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,270 What? 151 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,630 I don't know, like, something, anything, together. 152 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,277 Why don't you see Mandy? She'd love to see you. 153 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:46,949 I don't want to see Mandy. 154 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,991 Well, your father'll be home soon. — No, l... 155 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,032 I just, um... I wanna spend some time together. 156 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:55,590 I've got too much to do, and Janice ate all the biscuits, so... 157 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,035 Billy! — Oh, God. 158 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,877 Get your coat, you're taking me on an adventure. 159 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,148 What, now? — ANNA: Cunt. 160 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,191 Yeah“. — Cunt, cunt, cunt. 161 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,637 That's really distracting. Um, yes, right now. 162 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,830 Piggy cunt. Who's a little piggy cunt? 163 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,917 It's actually very sweet cos she thinks that you're her aunt. 164 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,474 Yeah, she's not, she's not saying aunt, but anyway, it's... 165 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,158 Well, I'll get my keys. 166 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:18,349 See you out the front. — ANNA: Cunty, cunty... 167 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,230 In a minute. — OK. 168 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:20,110 Cool. 169 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:21,918 Over the fence with the cunt. 170 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:25,118 Ah! Next door cunt. 171 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,439 Er... how old? 172 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,471 Oh, she's five. Constantly sick, it's a nightmare. 173 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:34,316 I remember. 174 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:35,839 Mm, try not to breathe her in. 175 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:38,674 It goes so fast. 176 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:42,039 Everybody says that. — Oh, because it's true, I'm afraid. 177 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:44,755 Do you have grandkids? 178 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,749 Yes... yes, I do. 179 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:50,396 How many? 180 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,910 Er, my daughter has a boy and two girls. 181 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:54,949 Blissful chaos. 182 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,956 It must be lovely being a grandparent. You get all the fun and half the work. 183 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:02,550 It's wonderful. 184 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:04,875 DOCTOR: Oscar Matteson. 185 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:06,556 Oh, uh... 186 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:12,677 Can't believe I haven't been here before, this is the best fun ever! 187 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:13,755 I love boats. 188 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:15,316 Wow! 189 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,869 | used to wanna be a sailor but I get so sick 190 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,991 both ends, it is a nightmare. 191 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,029 Nice. — l was gutted. 192 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:23,078 |-| tried so many times. 193 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:24,917 No, it's just life, isn't it? — Yeah. 194 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:26,550 Yep. 195 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,556 What did you wanna be when you were a kid? — Uh... 196 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,068 a vet, Jamie Oliver's wife, uh... 197 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:33,475 the Appleton sisters, desperately, but that didn't work out. 198 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,590 Oh, yes, I can see it! — Oh, thank you. 199 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,755 THEY LAUGH — You're welcome. 200 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,030 Ah, I wanted to be a sailor, now I'm a gardener. 201 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,115 I thought you were a carer. 202 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,430 What? — For that really angry woman. 203 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,559 Anna? Yeah, no, no. 204 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,398 I'm a carer too, uh, most of the time 205 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:51,433 yeah, but I'm a gardener as well, so it's, er... 206 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:53,589 It's both, varied. 207 00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:57,595 Do you, er... 208 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,355 did you have a... uh, a person, like a... 209 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,713 a man friend? Or a woman. 210 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:03,909 Someone that you're, um...? 211 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,077 No, I mean, I did once, but he's married now. He's got... got kids and stuff, so. 212 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,030 Oh. 213 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:12,836 Do you, uh... do you still think about him? 214 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,513 Uh, I mean, no 215 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:17,314 but... but yes, d'you know what I mean? 216 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,277 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. 217 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:21,309 How about you? 218 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:22,355 Oh, I... 219 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:25,917 Well, I loved somebody once, but they... they changed. 220 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:30,713 So the love changed too, which... well, it happens, I guess, doesn't it? 221 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:31,909 Yeah, no, | get that. 222 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:36,193 BELL RINGS — Hey, here's your chance. 223 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:37,639 Yeah. Boats! 224 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,353 Thank you. Cheers. 225 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:40,430 Right. 226 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:45,033 Let's raise our hands, let's do this as it starts. 227 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:47,949 Yeah! Oh. 228 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,232 Yay! — It's not doing... 229 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,437 Recon Day Two, suspect boarding sailboat. 230 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,877 She's making a new friend. I hope it goes better than last time. 231 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:00,148 Way hey! 232 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,952 She seems to enjoy herself. 233 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:05,035 Side—to-side, everyone. Yes! 234 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:06,475 MIRI LAUGHS 235 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:07,919 ChIa—what? — Chlamydia. 236 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:09,309 Could be worse. 237 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,236 Like a urine infection? 238 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,510 Not quite. 239 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,508 Oh, but it hurts when I pee. 240 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,159 Yes, but it's an STD. 241 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:18,509 What, like syphilis? 242 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:19,789 It's just chlamydia. 243 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,509 Symptoms can take a while to present. Some people self—clear, others don't. 244 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,634 But you'll need to contact your sexual partners and inform them. 245 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,429 Partners? 246 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,273 I'm assuming you are with someone, or more than one. 247 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:32,674 Good God, just one. 248 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:34,949 And we haven't, um... 249 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:38,995 for a while, we... 250 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:40,756 Sure. 251 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,031 WOMAN: She probably planned it for months. 252 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:49,791 Now she's just working in the fish and chip shop. 253 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,078 Did you hear? She threw a brick at a group of people yesterday. 254 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:54,395 Yeah, proper psycho. 255 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,872 And to think, she's just walking around... 256 00:10:57,720 --> 00:10:59,472 not even tagged, free as a bird. 257 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,479 Terrifying. — PHONE CHIMES 258 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,273 So now I've got this and my verrucas to worry about. 259 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,516 God, they must get loads of verrucas in prison. 260 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,439 She's probably riddled with them. 261 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,709 SHE SIGHS | used to come here when I was a kid. 262 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:17,839 I thought you weren't from round here. 263 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:19,791 Oh, no, I mean, like, places like this, like fairs and stuff. 264 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:20,670 Oh. 265 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:23,635 Bet you were a nice kid. 266 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:24,955 Thank you. — Yeah. 267 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:26,634 You too. — Ah. 268 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,873 H E CLEARS TH BOAT 269 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,270 Hey, shall we go on this? 270 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:32,275 Oh, no. 271 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:36,112 Uh, uh, sorry, I'm terrified of giraffes, so... 272 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:39,518 But they're not... they're not real giraffes. — They're very, very realistic. 273 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,516 They're not, their... their necks are really short. 274 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:42,879 OK, yeah, but it's a... 275 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,633 it's so fast as well, isn't it? 276 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,154 It's just kind of woosh... — It's not, it's ridiculously slow. 277 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:49,474 Have a bash, I'll be there. 278 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:51,269 You'll be there. — Yeah. 279 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:55,276 Agh... 280 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:58,270 Urgh. 281 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:00,476 Agh... 282 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,358 MIRI LAUGHS 283 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,714 CARNIVAL MUSIC PLAYS 284 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:13,676 MUSIC FADES 285 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,559 BELL RINGS 286 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:32,955 SHE SIGHS 287 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,154 PHONE DIALS 288 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,357 Sorry, fucking nightmare. 289 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,191 Twins have been trying to ,out a hat on the dog. 290 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,157 It's like a fucking warzone in there. 291 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,916 Are you free? — CAROLINE: No, Dom, listen. 292 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,708 It's over. It's not happening again. 293 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:49,670 What? 294 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,592 Oh, yeah, sure, OK, no probs. 295 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,598 I don't want to be this person anymore. 296 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,511 CAROLINE: I’m her mother. — Yeah, fair enough. 297 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,155 But you'll just change your mind like you did the last time 298 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,595 and the last, last time. — CAROLINE: No, / will not. 299 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:01,836 Goodbye, Dom. 300 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,713 Oh, come on, let's just have a little... like, a little goodbye fiddle. 301 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:05,670 Yeah? — No. 302 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,112 MIRI (VO): Oh, my God, these are amazing. 303 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:14,909 Could I get...? 304 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,313 I'm so sorry. — No, no, it's alright, just—— 305 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:17,952 I'm completely hogging them. — ...I haven't had any. 306 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,515 Oh, sorry. — No, it's... 307 00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:21,949 SHE CHUCKLES — I've never met anyone like you before. 308 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,192 Oh. Never met anyone like you before, Billy, you're a... you're a one—off. 309 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:26,070 Well. 310 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,958 I don't wanna break this moment, but... 311 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,594 I really need to pee. 312 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:35,675 Oh, God—— — So, I'm gon... 313 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,278 Just go, do it, do it. — Yeah, right, yeah, I'm gonna go. 314 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:38,992 No. — Might just grab some of these... 315 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:40,519 Oh, that's very hygienic. — Alright. Yeah. 316 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:49,950 Hello again. 317 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:52,872 We met on the beach the other day. 318 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,513 Oh. Oh, yeah. yes. 319 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:55,755 Sorry, hi—— — Samuel. 320 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:57,233 Miri. Hi, hiya. 321 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:01,709 Um... Wednesday afternoon, amusement park. 322 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,149 Sorry. Who are you? 323 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,113 I'm an investigator and I look for the truth 324 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:09,357 and I am here to help you to tell your truth. 325 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,514 But first we need to solve your little problem. 326 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:16,109 Uh, I'm... I am with a friend right now, I am not gonna do this. 327 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,720 I'm not doing this. — Why was Lara so angry with you 328 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,079 the night she died? — What? 329 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,989 Yes, she was angry at you. So, so full of rage, why? 330 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,508 I'm sorry, can you... I don't wanna talk to you, can you just... 331 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,516 can you go? Can you just leave me alone please, can you leave—— 332 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:29,913 You have a bite mark—— — No! 333 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,313 No. — It's on your shoulder, isn't it? 334 00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:32,270 Oi, oi, oi! 335 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,356 Get out of it, you little shit. Go on! 336 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,750 If you want to see tits, piss off to Margate. 337 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,155 I'll be in touch. 338 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:41,836 Ha! 339 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,074 Thank you. — Yeah, well. 340 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:45,559 Thanks. — Let's just, uh... 341 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,789 Let's get out of here, I've got to pick up some meds for Anna. 342 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,035 Let's go via the supermarket, yeah? Good, come on. 343 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:51,910 OK. 344 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,358 I'll just be two minutes, alright? 345 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,799 Oh, OK. — OK, st... OK. 346 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:03,432 No, I'm fine. Yeah, yeah, sure. 347 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,195 Oh. 348 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:16,789 Miri, hi. 349 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,714 Oh, my God, are you so desperate and lonely that you've got to stalk me 350 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,718 in the supermarket now? — I'm buying dinner for my family. 351 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,595 Wow, that's, uh... very nutritious. 352 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:28,592 Yeah, well, don't feel sorry for me, cos you're the one that's all alone 353 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,119 with, um, a really shit haircut. 354 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,789 Actually, I'm on a date, with a shit haircut, so... 355 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:39,598 With my... with my neighbour Billy, yeah. In fact, we just stopped here to buy us... 356 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,756 some condoms. 357 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,157 Some condoms for all of the sexual... 358 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:46,518 intercourse that we will be having. 359 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,677 Is he some kind of a true crime perv? 360 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,876 SHE LAUGHS Sure. 361 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:53,955 Oh, Miri... 362 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,838 he doesn't know who you are, does he? 363 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,355 Do... I... Do—do you know what? Just, goodbye, Mandy. 364 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:00,549 Wait, wait... 365 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:02,110 wait! 366 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,232 I was at a wedding last year 367 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,796 and this posh woman farted really loudly 368 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,752 and I got the most uncontrollable giggles 369 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,916 and, and I looked at Mark, and... 370 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:19,512 there was nothing, not even a twinkle, and I started to cry because I knew 371 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:23,314 I knew if you'd have been there, then we would have pissed ourselves 372 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:26,949 and I missed you. 373 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,950 So, yes, yeah, you are right, I am... 374 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,195 I'm desperate and I am lonely. 375 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,319 Me too. Me too. 376 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,554 And I didn't visit you in prison because I felt terrible. 377 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,871 If I'd have got to the cliff ten minutes earlier 378 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,797 then maybe none of this would have happened. 379 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,109 Tell the truth. 380 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:52,671 You don't want to be with someone who doesn't know who you are. 381 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,189 Think about it. 382 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:56,630 Hm? 383 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,359 lt's, uh, it's two for one for pocket calculator— 384 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,230 Oh. 385 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,353 Oh! Oh, no, gosh. 386 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,396 Oh. — No, no, this isn't what you... 387 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:11,515 Uh, um... — | just... 388 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,192 I don't mind, it's just—— — No, no, it's... 389 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,514 SHE LAUGHS — It's just... I don't... 390 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:15,754 I can't do it that much—— — No, my parents—— 391 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,711 Oh. Right. — My parents... 392 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,310 they asked me to get them some... 393 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,595 Oh. — ...condoms. 394 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:22,993 Your parents? — They have, they—— 395 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,713 But they're so... old, but that's a lot for them? 396 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,591 No, well, they do it, they just like to do it, yeah. 397 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,074 Wow, I never, I never hear them. 398 00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:31,439 They're really quiet. — I mean, the amount of sex. Oh. 399 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:35,553 And they're fast, and, uh, it's all over very quickly 400 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,160 but it's, it's regular and then, d'you know what? 401 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,634 They can have a night off, because they're old and they need a break. 402 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,110 Oh, I... 403 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,153 Oh, God. Here we are. 404 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,198 I didn't need a piss at the, uh, at the fun fair. 405 00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:00,431 Aah! I thought that was suspiciously quick. 406 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:01,595 Thank you. 407 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,355 You're welcome. 408 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,994 Uh, right, well, I should, uh... I should head home 409 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,196 cos Anna needs her meds, and... — Yeah. 410 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,275 Yeah. — Course. 411 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,319 I've had the best day. 412 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,153 Like a holiday from stuff, so thanks. 413 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:19,390 Oh. 414 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:21,030 Uh... 415 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,035 Well, we're back home now, but, uh... — Yeah. 416 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:27,269 HE SIGHS 417 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,279 OK. — Yeah. 418 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,309 Right. — Goodbye. 419 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,190 Yeah. — Bye. 420 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,070 Oh! — See ya, um... 421 00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:32,950 Let's just... — Sorry, oh. 422 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,433 Oh. I did... — Er. No. 423 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:35,435 Just... — I'll go... 424 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:36,913 THEY LAUGH AWKWARDLY 425 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,115 Oh! — Oh. 426 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,072 Lovely, lovely... lovely day! — Right. 427 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,196 Yeah. — Yeah. 428 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:42,514 SHE LAUGHS — Really nice. 429 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:43,515 Bye—bye. — OK. 430 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:54,478 OSCAR: Jesus Christ... 431 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,074 DOOR OPENS 432 00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:00,792 She told me she'd never do it again. 433 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,751 What? — And I believed her. 434 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,114 I just believed her. — Oh, is this about the dishwasher again? 435 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:07,593 What's wrong with the dishwasher? 436 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:08,993 Um, no, nothing, nothing 437 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,429 cos everyone always, um, really, really rinses everything 438 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:12,356 so it's fine. 439 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,033 It always comes out in the end. 440 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:15,436 What does? 441 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,036 The truth. 442 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,035 Tsk... 443 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:23,639 Damn, and blast it... 444 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:26,919 HE SIGHS Urgh! 445 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:36,269 What's your name? 446 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,834 Billy. — Do you do mojitos, Billy? 447 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,957 Yeah... there you go. 448 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,235 Mmm... God, that's good. 449 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,119 Oh, how much do I owe you? 450 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,949 No, no, no, it's on the house, and I got these off a guy. 451 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,594 Oh... what are they? 452 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:00,435 They're the good stuff. 453 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:04,190 Mm. 454 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,838 Will I be myself again, Billy? 455 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,110 Yeah. 456 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:16,879 DOORBELL RINGS 457 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:18,309 It's my husband! 458 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,750 Hide, hide, he has a fucking blunderbuss! 459 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,950 Oh, gosh, well, have to... — SHE LAUGHS 460 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:24,149 have to fight him off. 461 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:27,950 Oh! — Hi. 462 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,718 Hi. — Billy, I need to tell you something. 463 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,228 Yeah. —We can't... 464 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,434 We can't be friends unless you know the truth about me. 465 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,359 Me too, l—I need to, uh... I need to tell you something too. 466 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:38,510 Oh, OK. — Yeah. 467 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,074 Maybe it's, uh... maybe it's the same thing. — Well, I doubt that. 468 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,350 Well, let's just say it like a scissors, paper, stone. 469 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:44,230 Oh, no, Christ, really? 470 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,713 Well, let's just say it on the count of three. 471 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,432 No, no, but mine is really big, it's like, really, really—— 472 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,118 I'll say mine and then... and then you say yours. 473 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,512 But I—I'm telling you right now that mine is so much bigger than yours 474 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:53,754 unless, well, unless you... 475 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,917 We'll just do it after three. One, two, three... 476 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,037 I'm not Anna's carer. — I killed that girl at the sound mirror. 477 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:00,877 It was me. — I'm married to her. 478 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,354 Oh, my... what, you're...? 479 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,434 You're married to... to her? 480 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:08,630 Gosh. 481 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,274 Oh. — But you... we had a... 482 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,951 Little, awkward hug and you bought me this... — Hel... 483 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:15,235 God, I... oh. 484 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,032 I'm... I'm a... I'm quick shocked actually. 485 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:17,950 Help. 486 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:19,230 What? 487 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:20,190 You're... 488 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,315 you're a pyscho killer. 489 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,118 Billy. — Oh, God, somebody help me. 490 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:24,874 Look, I'm not gonna hurt you. 491 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,990 Oh, I'm not gonna hurt you. — Oh, Jesus, oh, God. 492 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:30,157 Can you just calm down? Look, it's not like they said at all. 493 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:32,991 Oh, what, you di... you didn't kill her? 494 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,758 No, uh, no, I... I did... 495 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,359 kill her... — Stay away from me! 496 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:37,310 Billy! — Go on, fuck off! 497 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:38,998 HE WHIMPERS — Billy, this is excessive. 498 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,632 God, you killed someone! 499 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:41,989 You're married! 500 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,792 Ah, fuck, oh... 501 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,718 A—bub—bub—ba! Oh, I'm having a panic attack. 502 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:47,875 OK, just breathe. 503 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,235 Count to ten in your head, count to ten in your head. 504 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,190 Ah, one... 505 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,436 one, two... one, two, three... 506 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,671 HE GROANS 507 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:56,869 Oh, God, I'm gonna... 508 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:58,512 HE GROANS 509 00:21:58,560 --> 00:21:59,515 I'm sorry. 510 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,711 But you would have found out and then I wouldn't have been able 511 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:06,548 to tell you the truth myself and that would've been so much worse. 512 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,639 It's just... it's not what you think... 513 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:12,476 She was... 514 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:16,395 l, she was crazy angry with me, and she bit me and I didn't... 515 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,280 I didn't know why... and, um... 516 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,109 so I just, like... 517 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,349 | just pushed her... back... 518 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:28,439 and it was an accident. 519 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,355 But the person who you were with today 520 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,549 that... that was me, that is who I am. 521 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:37,830 That is me. 522 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:41,036 Thank you. 523 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,068 Thank you for telling me, that was... that was really brave. 524 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:46,035 Can I heI—— — No, no. 525 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,718 KNOCK ON WINDOW — Please, it's just... oh, for fu—— 526 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,911 Leave my husband alone, you murderous whore! — Oh, great. 527 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,156 You're a murderess, you'll stop at nothing. 528 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:54,958 They should never have let you out! — You better go. 529 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:55,830 OK. 530 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:59,270 Don't tell me you thought he wasn't married, I heard you. 531 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:04,476 Hello. 532 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,790 Oh, blast, I forgot the butter. 533 00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:13,839 What did the doctor say? — An infection. 534 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:15,679 Oh, did they give you antibiotics? 535 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:17,588 HE SIGHS 536 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:21,275 What's wrong, darling? 537 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:30,351 A shipping container full of rubber ducks has sunk off the coast of the Isle of Wight. 538 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:32,350 Oh, dear. 539 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:35,515 More plastic in the ocean, contaminating everything 540 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,357 fucking everything up, and for what? 541 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,156 What good did a rubber duck ever do? 542 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:41,998 Miri used to love them in the bath. 543 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:46,119 It's all for nothing, I... I hate the waste. 544 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:47,955 Are you OK? 545 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,388 Fine. I'll go and get the butter. 546 00:23:58,880 --> 00:23:59,869 MANDY ON TAPE: Right, 0K, l’l/ start. 547 00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:02,229 MIRI ON TAPE: Oh, Mandy’s gonna start! 548 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,789 MANDY: Miri, you ’re not taking it seriously. — MIRI: lam taking it serious! 549 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:06,956 But you ’re taking it too seriously, l’m just gonna start. 550 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:17,837 MIRI ON TAPE: Right, OK, OK, now just Lara. 551 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:18,835 LARA ON TAPE: OK, fine. 552 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:25,353 SHE SINGS: # Someday, lbe/ieve it, you will come to my rescue # 553 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:31,908 ALL SING: # Unchain my heart you ’re keeping, and let me start anew # 554 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:35,555 # Ooh, the hours pass so slowly # 555 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:40,237 # Since they’ve thrown away the key, away the key # 556 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,475 # Can ’2‘ you see that I’m lonely # 557 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,678 # Won’t you help me please? # 558 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,153 THEY GIGGLE — MAN ON TAPE: Lara! 559 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,873 LARA: Oh, guys, shh, my dad’s back. Hide the cigarettes. 560 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,110 Hi, Dad! 561 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,074 MIRI AND MANDY: Hi, Mr Boback.! 562 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:25,957 Remember me? I was in prison. 563 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,668 It's a letter from my probation officer, with my address. 564 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:30,994 I want an appointment now. 565 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,759 We've actually got an appointment available in about an hour. 566 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,029 Great, I'll wait. 567 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,434 She was here yesterday, so sort her out too. 568 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,710 l'II—I'II make sure she's seen. — Yeah, you will.