1
00:00:02,588 --> 00:00:04,073
♪♪

2
00:00:04,107 --> 00:00:06,489
Mary: This time, just tell me
when I'm at the bottom step.

3
00:00:06,523 --> 00:00:08,422
[ Sighs ] The swelling's
almost gone.

4
00:00:08,456 --> 00:00:10,907
You're fine.

5
00:00:10,941 --> 00:00:15,394
I'd love to help you guys,
but, you know, pregnant.

6
00:00:15,429 --> 00:00:18,673
We should make that phrase
a drinking game.

7
00:00:18,708 --> 00:00:20,503
The drinking game is
how she ended up pregnant

8
00:00:20,537 --> 00:00:23,195
in the first place.

9
00:00:23,230 --> 00:00:26,060
I'm having a real
"circle of life" moment here.

10
00:00:26,095 --> 00:00:27,924
You get pregnant,
you can't support yourself,

11
00:00:27,958 --> 00:00:30,202
you move back in
with your mom.

12
00:00:30,237 --> 00:00:31,514
We don't have
many traditions,

13
00:00:31,548 --> 00:00:34,551
but the ones we have
are magical.

14
00:00:34,586 --> 00:00:35,794
Hey, Harris,

15
00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:36,967
I still have
Beverly Rose's

16
00:00:37,002 --> 00:00:38,176
old baby clothes
and crib.

17
00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:39,177
Do you want them?

18
00:00:39,211 --> 00:00:40,454
Mm, no, thanks.

19
00:00:40,488 --> 00:00:42,111
I'll pass
on the hand-me-downs.

20
00:00:42,145 --> 00:00:43,457
I'd rather start
with all new things

21
00:00:43,491 --> 00:00:46,356
that my kid can make their
own childhood memories with.

22
00:00:46,391 --> 00:00:48,634
Sorry, we really
can't afford

23
00:00:48,669 --> 00:00:51,706
for your kid
to have their own memories.

24
00:00:51,741 --> 00:00:53,950
Beverly Rose's memories
are still perfectly good,

25
00:00:53,984 --> 00:00:57,402
and you can use those until
your child grows out of them.

26
00:00:57,436 --> 00:01:01,130
There's years of generational
trauma in those clothes.

27
00:01:01,164 --> 00:01:02,372
Come on, Harris.

28
00:01:02,407 --> 00:01:03,718
Money's really tight
right now,

29
00:01:03,753 --> 00:01:05,236
'cause I don't start work
for a few weeks.

30
00:01:05,272 --> 00:01:07,446
And besides, Beverly Rose's
stuff is way better

31
00:01:07,481 --> 00:01:08,447
than anything you had.

32
00:01:08,482 --> 00:01:09,759
Oh, yeah.
Your bassinet?

33
00:01:09,793 --> 00:01:13,728
That was one of your grandpa's
old Hickory Farms baskets.

34
00:01:13,763 --> 00:01:15,765
It worked okay,
but it was hard to hug you,

35
00:01:15,799 --> 00:01:17,456
'cause you smelled
like summer sausage.

36
00:01:19,148 --> 00:01:21,771
It's okay. I'll just buy stuff
with my own money.

37
00:01:21,805 --> 00:01:24,601
Hey, look who's here!
There she is!

38
00:01:24,636 --> 00:01:26,983
I'm back.Welcome home, baby!

39
00:01:27,017 --> 00:01:28,088
Yay!

40
00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:29,434
I'll get this.

41
00:01:29,468 --> 00:01:31,125
Mm.No, no, no.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

42
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,678
Those are mine.Oh, sorry.

43
00:01:32,713 --> 00:01:36,096
Yeah, I was just in the rhythm
of grab-and-move.

44
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,788
I almost packed up
Darlene earlier.

45
00:01:38,822 --> 00:01:40,997
Yeah, Becky bet me
five bucks

46
00:01:41,031 --> 00:01:42,585
that I couldn't fit
in a suitcase.

47
00:01:42,619 --> 00:01:44,966
And I could.Ah.

48
00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:50,179
Aww, finding new things to shove
Darlene in, and I missed it.

49
00:01:50,213 --> 00:01:51,801
Yeah, well,
you're home for good.

50
00:01:51,835 --> 00:01:54,769
We'll have plenty of time
for her shenanigans.

51
00:01:54,804 --> 00:01:55,839
Oh, really?

52
00:01:55,874 --> 00:01:57,945
You're all done touring?Yeah.

53
00:01:57,979 --> 00:02:00,948
Your dad and I talked,
and I'm done.

54
00:02:00,982 --> 00:02:03,882
Yep. The rest of her life
will be spent with only me.

55
00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:05,642
Mm.

56
00:02:05,676 --> 00:02:08,714
Geez, Dan, you make it sound
like a life sentence.

57
00:02:08,749 --> 00:02:11,131
You've seen how I eat.
How long could it be?

58
00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:15,273
Oh, hey, Harris.

59
00:02:15,307 --> 00:02:16,722
How are you feeling?

60
00:02:16,757 --> 00:02:19,656
Uh, I'm a little uncomfortable,
but it's all good.

61
00:02:19,691 --> 00:02:21,071
I'm moving back in
with my mommy,

62
00:02:21,106 --> 00:02:23,798
and she's gonna make me
mac and cheese from the box.

63
00:02:23,833 --> 00:02:26,318
So, you and Darlene
living together again --

64
00:02:26,353 --> 00:02:28,044
that's nice.

65
00:02:28,078 --> 00:02:32,635
Look, I hope everything works
out exactly the way you want

66
00:02:32,668 --> 00:02:35,810
and not the way
we all expect.

67
00:02:35,845 --> 00:02:37,743
Hey, we are
different now.

68
00:02:37,778 --> 00:02:39,089
We respect each other,

69
00:02:39,124 --> 00:02:42,231
and Harris is a very
responsible person.

70
00:02:42,265 --> 00:02:44,888
When she runs off to Florida
and dumps the kid on me,

71
00:02:44,923 --> 00:02:48,547
I know she'll still
FaceTime on the weekends.

72
00:02:48,582 --> 00:02:50,860
What?
Like, every weekend?

73
00:02:52,689 --> 00:02:57,073
Ugh, I'm the only one
doing any work around here.

74
00:02:57,107 --> 00:02:59,834
♪♪

75
00:02:59,869 --> 00:03:01,215
Don't worry, Dan.

76
00:03:01,250 --> 00:03:03,873
I get that there's been
so much going on here,

77
00:03:03,907 --> 00:03:06,703
you couldn't plan anything
special for my homecoming.

78
00:03:06,738 --> 00:03:08,602
I did plan something.

79
00:03:08,636 --> 00:03:10,397
I just thought you were
coming home tomorrow.

80
00:03:10,431 --> 00:03:13,020
I told you I was coming home
on our anniversary.

81
00:03:13,054 --> 00:03:14,608
I assumed you meant
the anniversary

82
00:03:14,642 --> 00:03:17,611
of the day
after our wedding --

83
00:03:17,645 --> 00:03:20,234
the day it really hit me
how perfect you are.

84
00:03:23,133 --> 00:03:25,135
I'll allow it.

85
00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:27,448
Do we really have
to go out there?

86
00:03:27,483 --> 00:03:30,279
Why don't we just spend
the whole day and night in bed

87
00:03:30,313 --> 00:03:33,213
and lock everybody
out of our world?

88
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:37,596
Oh, I've never spent 24
consecutive hours in bed before.

89
00:03:37,631 --> 00:03:39,253
I better not try it.

90
00:03:39,288 --> 00:03:40,427
Why not?

91
00:03:40,461 --> 00:03:41,911
Well, the same reason
I don't try heroin.

92
00:03:41,945 --> 00:03:44,707
I might like it
too much.

93
00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:46,812
Seriously, Dan,
I need this.

94
00:03:46,847 --> 00:03:49,781
I have been gone so long,
and I missed you so much.

95
00:03:49,815 --> 00:03:50,989
Oh, I missed you,
too, baby,

96
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:53,543
but I really should help
with the move.

97
00:03:53,578 --> 00:03:56,236
I mean, granted, we got Mary
to do most of the heavy lifting,

98
00:03:56,270 --> 00:04:00,999
but when she stands up now,
she's starting to say, "Oy!"

99
00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:03,795
She's got plenty
of help out there.

100
00:04:03,829 --> 00:04:05,762
And besides, I, uh --

101
00:04:05,797 --> 00:04:07,419
I can't believe
I'm gonna say this,

102
00:04:07,454 --> 00:04:14,633
but I think it's okay if we bend
the rules and, uh, eat in bed.

103
00:04:14,668 --> 00:04:15,978
That's heroin to my ears.

104
00:04:16,014 --> 00:04:17,636
I'm in.

105
00:04:17,671 --> 00:04:20,398
Wow, I didn't even
mention sex yet.

106
00:04:20,432 --> 00:04:22,607
Well, I don't know what's coming
first, the food or the sex,

107
00:04:22,641 --> 00:04:26,300
but I'm gonna be on my back,
watching TV for all of it.

108
00:04:26,335 --> 00:04:34,757
♪♪

109
00:04:34,791 --> 00:04:43,213
♪♪

110
00:04:43,248 --> 00:04:46,216
--Captions by VITAC--

111
00:04:46,251 --> 00:04:47,528
"The Conners" is recorded

112
00:04:47,563 --> 00:04:49,496
in front of
a live studio audience.

113
00:04:49,530 --> 00:04:52,499
Louise: Oh,
that was so good.

114
00:04:52,533 --> 00:04:54,501
Dan: Oh, I haven't
finished, Louise.

115
00:04:54,534 --> 00:04:56,986
Oh, I'm sorry, Dan.

116
00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:58,815
You're just so slow.

117
00:04:58,850 --> 00:05:00,369
I've already had four.

118
00:05:00,403 --> 00:05:02,336
[ Groans ]

119
00:05:04,511 --> 00:05:06,133
You know,
with this waterbed,

120
00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:07,514
it's kind of like
surf and turf.

121
00:05:07,548 --> 00:05:08,618
[ Laughs ]

122
00:05:08,653 --> 00:05:10,344
Fancy.

123
00:05:10,379 --> 00:05:14,348
But, really,
what's the plan after this?

124
00:05:14,383 --> 00:05:17,351
Well, since we've just
finished the marathon

125
00:05:17,386 --> 00:05:19,560
of the
"Jurassic Park" films,

126
00:05:19,595 --> 00:05:21,562
why don't we start
on the James Bond movies?

127
00:05:21,597 --> 00:05:23,840
Oh, I'm sorry.

128
00:05:23,875 --> 00:05:25,532
I watched them all
while you were gone,

129
00:05:25,566 --> 00:05:27,810
except for the ones
with Roger Moore.

130
00:05:27,844 --> 00:05:29,984
He's got the manners
of a good butler

131
00:05:30,019 --> 00:05:34,057
and the animal savagery
of a good butler.

132
00:05:34,092 --> 00:05:35,231
I know.

133
00:05:35,265 --> 00:05:37,992
Let's watch the
"Fast and Furious" movies.

134
00:05:38,027 --> 00:05:39,925
No one in those
has any manners.

135
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,858
[ Chuckles ]

136
00:05:41,893 --> 00:05:44,413
Time to leave the room.

137
00:05:44,447 --> 00:05:45,966
Nope.

138
00:05:48,417 --> 00:05:50,211
We're going on
two days in here.

139
00:05:50,246 --> 00:05:51,592
What's up?

140
00:05:53,076 --> 00:05:55,700
A lot.

141
00:05:55,734 --> 00:05:57,598
Would you care to be
more specific?

142
00:05:59,635 --> 00:06:01,775
Fine.
[ Exhales deeply ]

143
00:06:01,809 --> 00:06:03,777
When I was out on the road
with my mom,

144
00:06:03,811 --> 00:06:07,228
she wanted to stay out there
past the end of the tour

145
00:06:07,263 --> 00:06:10,887
because what was I in such
a hurry to get back for?

146
00:06:10,922 --> 00:06:14,339
And I said "Dan and..."

147
00:06:15,271 --> 00:06:19,413
I couldn't think of anything
after the "and." [ Sighs ]

148
00:06:19,448 --> 00:06:21,035
I'm just happy
I made the list.

149
00:06:21,070 --> 00:06:23,693
And in first position,
I may add.

150
00:06:23,728 --> 00:06:26,869
You got plenty of time to figure
out what comes after the "and."

151
00:06:26,903 --> 00:06:28,802
You just got back.
[ Sighs ]

152
00:06:28,836 --> 00:06:33,289
I thought about it for weeks
on the road after she said it.

153
00:06:33,323 --> 00:06:36,637
Really, Dan, I have no idea
what's out there for me

154
00:06:36,672 --> 00:06:37,983
on the other side
of that door.

155
00:06:38,018 --> 00:06:41,746
Well, you're never gonna know
until you stop hiding.

156
00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:42,885
No, I can't do it.

157
00:06:42,919 --> 00:06:45,405
I-I-I-I don't want to.

158
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:48,960
[ Sighs ] I've been
a musician all my life.

159
00:06:48,994 --> 00:06:50,824
Music saved me
when I was a teenager

160
00:06:50,858 --> 00:06:52,135
going in a bad
direction,

161
00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:56,277
and touring with a band
is all I really know.

162
00:06:56,312 --> 00:06:58,107
I've always known
where I was going,

163
00:06:58,141 --> 00:07:01,455
and now I don't.

164
00:07:01,490 --> 00:07:03,733
I need a purpose, Dan.

165
00:07:03,768 --> 00:07:06,736
[ Mariachi band playing ]

166
00:07:06,771 --> 00:07:09,981
♪♪

167
00:07:10,015 --> 00:07:12,742
It's the guys that used
to play at Casita Bonita.

168
00:07:12,777 --> 00:07:15,193
I told you I thought you were
coming home today.

169
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:18,748
Mariachi Performer:
♪ Welcome home, Louise

170
00:07:18,783 --> 00:07:22,959
♪ Dan's gonna give you

171
00:07:22,994 --> 00:07:26,687
♪ A squeeze

172
00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:30,311
I wrote that.

173
00:07:30,346 --> 00:07:32,486
Thank you, Dan.
That was so sweet.

174
00:07:32,521 --> 00:07:33,694
You know,
they're expecting us.

175
00:07:33,729 --> 00:07:35,972
We really should
go down there.

176
00:07:36,007 --> 00:07:38,216
Uh, not gonna happen.Are you sure?

177
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,943
They're playing at a mattress
store opening right after this.

178
00:07:40,977 --> 00:07:43,842
If you want a picture,
we really should get down there.

179
00:07:49,538 --> 00:07:50,987
Sorry, fellas.
She won't come out.

180
00:07:51,022 --> 00:07:54,025
She doesn't
have a purpose.

181
00:07:54,058 --> 00:07:55,475
Dan.

182
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:58,167
Well, I didn't want them to
think it was anything they did.

183
00:07:58,201 --> 00:08:02,033
♪♪

184
00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:04,967
Oh, well, you're not gonna be
needing this for a while.

185
00:08:05,001 --> 00:08:06,175
I know.

186
00:08:06,209 --> 00:08:09,523
No smoking, no drinking,
no bouncy houses,

187
00:08:09,558 --> 00:08:11,801
and no caffeine,
which sucks.

188
00:08:11,836 --> 00:08:13,872
No caffeine?
That's a new one.

189
00:08:13,907 --> 00:08:15,633
When I was pregnant,
I was so tired,

190
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,807
I, like, tripled
my caffeine.

191
00:08:17,842 --> 00:08:19,878
Maybe that's why you just
popped out and ran all the way

192
00:08:19,913 --> 00:08:22,398
down the hallway
to the nursery.

193
00:08:22,432 --> 00:08:24,331
No, that was because I was
looking for a nice,

194
00:08:24,365 --> 00:08:27,161
rich family
to go home with.

195
00:08:27,196 --> 00:08:30,164
So, uh, what else have you
learned about pregnancy?

196
00:08:30,199 --> 00:08:32,581
Um, I did read
that there are some women

197
00:08:32,615 --> 00:08:34,823
who don't experience
any pain in labor.

198
00:08:34,859 --> 00:08:38,414
Uh, yeah.
Meth heads and liars.

199
00:08:38,448 --> 00:08:39,760
The best way
I can describe it

200
00:08:39,794 --> 00:08:44,212
is it's like pulling your upper
lip over the top of your head.

201
00:08:44,246 --> 00:08:46,871
Oh, but still, like,
a beautiful experience.

202
00:08:46,905 --> 00:08:48,355
[ Laughs ]

203
00:08:48,389 --> 00:08:50,806
Yeah, laugh now, while you
still can without peeing.

204
00:08:52,808 --> 00:08:55,673
Am I hearing
laughter in here?

205
00:08:55,707 --> 00:08:57,295
Are you spying on us?

206
00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:58,607
I was just
hanging nearby,

207
00:08:58,641 --> 00:09:00,781
in case you two
needed a referee.

208
00:09:00,816 --> 00:09:03,473
When you guys are alone,
it turns into "Squid Games"

209
00:09:03,508 --> 00:09:05,234
pretty quickly.

210
00:09:05,268 --> 00:09:06,235
We're fine.

211
00:09:06,269 --> 00:09:07,443
Just a mother and daughter

212
00:09:07,477 --> 00:09:10,550
bonding over the horrors
of childbirth.

213
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:12,206
It's not always horrible.

214
00:09:12,241 --> 00:09:13,725
I barely felt it.

215
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:14,761
That doesn't count.

216
00:09:14,795 --> 00:09:16,625
Beverly Rose
was a preemie.

217
00:09:16,659 --> 00:09:20,801
Mark weighed more at birth
than I did when I got married.

218
00:09:20,836 --> 00:09:22,389
I could use that bong
right now.

219
00:09:22,423 --> 00:09:23,908
My stomach really hurts.

220
00:09:23,942 --> 00:09:26,738
It's like bad cramps.

221
00:09:26,773 --> 00:09:28,568
Did they just start?

222
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:29,776
No.

223
00:09:29,810 --> 00:09:32,123
I mean, I felt a little
something the last few days,

224
00:09:32,157 --> 00:09:34,781
but not like this.

225
00:09:34,815 --> 00:09:37,507
Um, well, yeah,
it's probably nothing,

226
00:09:37,542 --> 00:09:39,786
but why don't we just take
a quick trip to the doctor,

227
00:09:39,820 --> 00:09:41,408
just to be sure?

228
00:09:41,442 --> 00:09:42,823
Okay.

229
00:09:42,858 --> 00:09:45,032
♪♪

230
00:09:48,933 --> 00:09:51,245
It's been a while since
they left for the doctor.

231
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:52,246
Yeah, I know.

232
00:09:52,281 --> 00:09:53,316
But they'll be home soon,

233
00:09:53,351 --> 00:09:54,594
and then we'll find out
what's going on.

234
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:58,977
So, Mark should be home
from his school trip tomorrow.

235
00:09:59,012 --> 00:10:00,945
And, uh, we're supposed
to have his new bedroom

236
00:10:00,979 --> 00:10:02,153
set up by then.

237
00:10:02,187 --> 00:10:04,017
He's gonna love going from
a private bedroom

238
00:10:04,051 --> 00:10:06,433
to a room that has
a table cloth for a wall.

239
00:10:06,467 --> 00:10:08,193
Well, at least
there's a big window

240
00:10:08,228 --> 00:10:11,300
where strangers can look
in on him from the road.

241
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:16,926
I'll just take all his books
to the garage for now.

242
00:10:16,961 --> 00:10:18,031
Oy.

243
00:10:19,688 --> 00:10:22,173
Hey, everything okay?

244
00:10:22,207 --> 00:10:24,658
Uh, let me get Harris
settled up in her room

245
00:10:24,693 --> 00:10:26,315
and I'll be
right back down.

246
00:10:26,349 --> 00:10:27,523
No, we can tell her.

247
00:10:28,869 --> 00:10:30,975
Yeah, I had a miscarriage.

248
00:10:31,009 --> 00:10:33,667
Oh, I'm so sorry.

249
00:10:33,702 --> 00:10:35,220
It's okay.

250
00:10:35,255 --> 00:10:38,327
I mean, I wasn't
planning to have a baby

251
00:10:38,361 --> 00:10:39,984
before I got pregnant.

252
00:10:40,018 --> 00:10:42,883
And even though
I decided to keep it,

253
00:10:42,918 --> 00:10:45,783
I guess I should be
kind of relieved, right?

254
00:10:45,817 --> 00:10:49,338
You can be,
that's a normal reaction.

255
00:10:49,372 --> 00:10:51,892
Hey, just, uh, don't tell
Grandpa and Louise yet.

256
00:10:51,927 --> 00:10:54,481
She just got home,
they're spending time together.

257
00:10:54,515 --> 00:10:56,690
I don't want to mess that up.

258
00:10:56,725 --> 00:10:58,658
Do you need anything?

259
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,590
No. It's all good.

260
00:11:00,625 --> 00:11:03,386
It's also okay
if it's not all good.

261
00:11:03,421 --> 00:11:05,699
[ Exhales ]
No, I'm -- I'm fine.

262
00:11:05,734 --> 00:11:09,496
And, hey, now I'll go back to
my regular life, right?

263
00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:11,912
Well, look, that's a healthy way
to look at it.

264
00:11:11,947 --> 00:11:15,502
I mean, maybe this all
worked out for the best.

265
00:11:15,536 --> 00:11:17,228
Right.
Yeah, I know.

266
00:11:17,262 --> 00:11:18,712
Of course youwould
think that.

267
00:11:18,747 --> 00:11:21,025
You didn't want me to have
the baby to begin with.

268
00:11:21,059 --> 00:11:22,923
So I bet you're
reallyrelieved.

269
00:11:22,958 --> 00:11:24,373
No, that's not at all --

270
00:11:24,407 --> 00:11:26,306
I'm tired.
I'm gonna lie down.

271
00:11:28,653 --> 00:11:30,966
Hey, it --

272
00:11:32,312 --> 00:11:34,521
I don't know
if this helps,

273
00:11:34,555 --> 00:11:37,938
but no matter how mad
Harris is at you right now,

274
00:11:37,973 --> 00:11:41,424
wait till Mark sees you
moved him into a window seat.

275
00:11:45,325 --> 00:11:48,086
No,
that doesn't help.

276
00:11:48,121 --> 00:11:51,124
That's why I said,
I don't know.

277
00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:57,647
I'm gonna empty the bone bucket
and feed the chickens.

278
00:11:57,682 --> 00:11:59,270
Wanna go?

279
00:11:59,304 --> 00:12:02,480
Uh, no, I-I'm good
right here.

280
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,068
How 'bout
we take a stroll

281
00:12:04,102 --> 00:12:05,759
through the living room,
see the sights.

282
00:12:05,794 --> 00:12:07,796
I hear it's lovely
this time of day.

283
00:12:08,797 --> 00:12:10,660
You're not listening
to me, Dan.

284
00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:11,765
I can't do it.

285
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,664
I-I just can't
go out there.

286
00:12:14,699 --> 00:12:16,321
Well, maybe you're
overthinking this, honey.

287
00:12:16,356 --> 00:12:19,048
Retirement's not supposed
to be this complicated.

288
00:12:19,083 --> 00:12:24,295
It's you spending time
with the one you love.

289
00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:26,331
That's a pretty good life.

290
00:12:26,366 --> 00:12:28,092
[ Smooches ]

291
00:12:28,126 --> 00:12:30,819
Look, you know
I love being with you.

292
00:12:30,853 --> 00:12:34,305
Even the little things --
counting out your pills,

293
00:12:34,339 --> 00:12:36,652
doing mole checks.

294
00:12:36,686 --> 00:12:38,171
It's not enough.

295
00:12:39,689 --> 00:12:42,451
I don't know how to be
more that I am.

296
00:12:42,485 --> 00:12:43,659
Oh, come on, Dan.

297
00:12:43,693 --> 00:12:44,660
You know what I mean.

298
00:12:44,694 --> 00:12:45,903
Oh, I doknow
what you mean.

299
00:12:45,937 --> 00:12:48,629
You're saying very clearly
that I'm not enough for you.

300
00:12:48,664 --> 00:12:50,286
[ Sighs ]

301
00:12:52,495 --> 00:12:53,531
[ Exhales sharply ]

302
00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:56,914
It is so hard
getting out of that bed.

303
00:12:56,948 --> 00:13:00,641
You know, people our age
have tubs they can walk into

304
00:13:00,676 --> 00:13:03,713
and chairs that lift them
into a standing position.

305
00:13:03,748 --> 00:13:05,819
Why the hell
do we have a waterbed?

306
00:13:05,854 --> 00:13:07,510
Because I thought
it would be fun for us,

307
00:13:07,545 --> 00:13:09,927
but I guess I have no idea
about what you want.

308
00:13:09,961 --> 00:13:12,722
Oh, so --
so now you're insulted?

309
00:13:12,757 --> 00:13:14,724
Because I just want
a little more in my life?

310
00:13:14,759 --> 00:13:15,725
Yeah, I guess I am.

311
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,037
You been home
less than two days

312
00:13:17,072 --> 00:13:19,039
and you're already thinking
about what you can do

313
00:13:19,074 --> 00:13:21,145
besides spend time with me.

314
00:13:21,179 --> 00:13:22,491
Okay. Great.

315
00:13:22,525 --> 00:13:23,837
Let's make it
about you now.

316
00:13:23,872 --> 00:13:25,805
No, it's very obviously
not about me.

317
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,151
You know who wants
to be with me?

318
00:13:27,185 --> 00:13:28,393
My chickens.

319
00:13:28,428 --> 00:13:32,018
When I rain corn on them,
they look at me like a god.

320
00:13:35,745 --> 00:13:37,678
What are you doing?

321
00:13:37,713 --> 00:13:39,473
I'm going back to live
with Grandpa.

322
00:13:39,508 --> 00:13:42,200
I'll be back for the rest
of my stuff tomorrow.

323
00:13:42,235 --> 00:13:44,030
Wait, you're leaving?

324
00:13:44,064 --> 00:13:46,411
Is this because I said that
your life might be better

325
00:13:46,446 --> 00:13:47,654
without a baby right now?

326
00:13:47,688 --> 00:13:49,690
Because you said you could
go back to your normal life,

327
00:13:49,725 --> 00:13:51,209
and then I was just
agreeing with you.

328
00:13:51,244 --> 00:13:53,833
[ Laughs sarcastically ]
You are so full of crap.

329
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,869
You said that because
that's how you really feel.

330
00:13:55,904 --> 00:13:57,733
And this whole thing
makes you feel better.

331
00:13:57,767 --> 00:13:59,321
No, that's not true,
Harris.

332
00:13:59,355 --> 00:14:00,840
Come on, let's just
talk about it.

333
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:02,393
No, I'm done talking.

334
00:14:02,427 --> 00:14:04,533
I can't live here
looking at you every day

335
00:14:04,567 --> 00:14:07,432
knowing how happy you are
that I didn't have the baby.

336
00:14:07,467 --> 00:14:08,640
Bye.

337
00:14:10,263 --> 00:14:11,229
[ Door slams ]

338
00:14:11,264 --> 00:14:12,541
♪♪

339
00:14:15,578 --> 00:14:17,235
♪♪

340
00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:19,582
Hey.
Hey.

341
00:14:19,617 --> 00:14:21,999
I talked to Harris.

342
00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:23,103
Poor kid.

343
00:14:23,138 --> 00:14:25,416
That's a hell of a thing
for her to go through.

344
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:26,900
I know.

345
00:14:26,935 --> 00:14:28,005
She up in her room?

346
00:14:28,039 --> 00:14:29,040
Yeah.

347
00:14:29,075 --> 00:14:30,283
I asked her if
she needed anything,

348
00:14:30,317 --> 00:14:31,905
and she just
wanted to rest.

349
00:14:31,940 --> 00:14:32,906
Hmm.

350
00:14:32,941 --> 00:14:34,459
Well, she forgot
some of her meds

351
00:14:34,494 --> 00:14:37,428
and I'm gonna make her
some mac and cheese.

352
00:14:37,462 --> 00:14:40,293
Uh, would you mind
bringing this up to her?

353
00:14:40,327 --> 00:14:41,881
What the hell happened
over at your place?

354
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,365
How come you don't want
to bring it to her?

355
00:14:43,399 --> 00:14:45,885
[ Sighs ]
We're a mess right now.

356
00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:48,128
She thinks I'm happy
about what happened to her.

357
00:14:48,163 --> 00:14:49,543
And I tried to talk to her
about it,

358
00:14:49,578 --> 00:14:51,407
but I guess it just
made it worse.

359
00:14:51,442 --> 00:14:53,582
[ Sighs ]
Well...

360
00:14:53,616 --> 00:14:55,790
then stop talking.

361
00:14:55,825 --> 00:14:57,827
She needs to be mad
at something or someone,

362
00:14:57,862 --> 00:14:59,760
and right now,
that's you.

363
00:14:59,795 --> 00:15:02,625
So, take her her pills
and her mac and cheese

364
00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:03,972
and just sit there.

365
00:15:04,973 --> 00:15:05,939
You really think
that'll help?

366
00:15:05,974 --> 00:15:07,907
Yes, I do.

367
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,495
Can I bring my phone
so I've got something to do?

368
00:15:12,773 --> 00:15:14,810
You might be surprised
at what she has to say

369
00:15:14,844 --> 00:15:18,124
if you just
stop talking.

370
00:15:18,158 --> 00:15:19,919
Alright, I'll try.

371
00:15:21,679 --> 00:15:23,612
Hey, wait, what are you doing
in the garage?

372
00:15:23,646 --> 00:15:25,510
I got a really gross text
from Louise

373
00:15:25,545 --> 00:15:28,410
saying you guys were gonna spend
the next couple days in bed.

374
00:15:28,444 --> 00:15:31,965
I blocked her in case
she was gonna send pictures.

375
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:32,966
You wanna know
the truth?

376
00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:35,451
I don't follow
my own advice.

377
00:15:35,486 --> 00:15:38,282
I was talking when
I should have been listening.

378
00:15:38,316 --> 00:15:41,630
Well, I don't know what you did,
but go in there and undo it

379
00:15:41,664 --> 00:15:42,631
'cause we need Louise.

380
00:15:42,665 --> 00:15:44,115
She's the only of us
that's strong enough

381
00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:46,359
to pull you
out of a bathtub.

382
00:15:46,393 --> 00:15:47,360
I know.

383
00:15:47,394 --> 00:15:48,361
That's why I'm out here

384
00:15:48,395 --> 00:15:51,329
trying to figure out
how to undo it.

385
00:15:51,364 --> 00:15:53,435
I made it about me.

386
00:15:53,469 --> 00:15:55,816
And a little bit
about the chickens.

387
00:15:56,852 --> 00:15:58,302
That's how you know
you've lost an argument,

388
00:15:58,336 --> 00:16:00,373
when you start talking
about chickens.

389
00:16:00,407 --> 00:16:03,100
♪♪

390
00:16:03,134 --> 00:16:04,722
[ Tires screeching ]

391
00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:05,792
[ Crash ]

392
00:16:05,826 --> 00:16:06,827
How come I get a ticket

393
00:16:06,862 --> 00:16:08,312
every time I roll
through a stop sign,

394
00:16:08,346 --> 00:16:10,314
but this guy can fly
over a school bus,

395
00:16:10,348 --> 00:16:13,558
and there's not a cop
around anywhere?

396
00:16:13,593 --> 00:16:15,008
You don't get it.

397
00:16:15,043 --> 00:16:16,941
This time it's personal.

398
00:16:18,943 --> 00:16:24,638
Uh, I've been thinking,
and -- and you're right.

399
00:16:24,673 --> 00:16:26,399
It's not about me.

400
00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:30,713
I know women hate it when
men try to come up with fixes,

401
00:16:30,748 --> 00:16:34,786
so here's 33 fixes, because I'm
an incredibly slow learner.

402
00:16:37,203 --> 00:16:40,827
"Potential purposes
for Louise's new life."

403
00:16:40,861 --> 00:16:43,864
Oh, Dan,
this is really sweet.

404
00:16:43,899 --> 00:16:46,143
But how does learning
to pole dance

405
00:16:46,177 --> 00:16:49,042
help me to feel fulfilled?

406
00:16:49,077 --> 00:16:50,078
Well, that'll keep you busy

407
00:16:50,112 --> 00:16:52,839
when you're not
craft-brewing beer.

408
00:16:52,873 --> 00:16:54,427
Re-- Keep reading.

409
00:16:54,461 --> 00:16:57,050
Uh,
"Lingerie model/pie maker."

410
00:16:57,085 --> 00:17:00,778
Well, uh,
just skip that one.

411
00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,608
Oh, now -- now,
these show some promise.

412
00:17:03,643 --> 00:17:07,854
"Writing jingles for local
businesses, teaching guitar,

413
00:17:07,887 --> 00:17:10,098
playing a piano near
the fountain at the mall."

414
00:17:10,132 --> 00:17:11,167
Yeah, I could wear
something tight

415
00:17:11,202 --> 00:17:15,103
and lay across the piano.

416
00:17:15,137 --> 00:17:16,621
You know,
it's interesting.

417
00:17:16,656 --> 00:17:19,589
I-I have thought
about teaching,

418
00:17:19,624 --> 00:17:23,282
but never
at a halfway house.

419
00:17:23,318 --> 00:17:24,733
Maybe music could make
a difference

420
00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:26,769
in someone else's life.

421
00:17:26,804 --> 00:17:28,116
Yeah, just writing
that one down

422
00:17:28,150 --> 00:17:30,290
made me feel
like a better person.

423
00:17:31,636 --> 00:17:32,879
So I did good, huh?

424
00:17:32,913 --> 00:17:35,054
Yes.
Good boy.

425
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:37,918
Arf! Treat, please.

426
00:17:37,953 --> 00:17:39,265
[ Smooches ]

427
00:17:39,299 --> 00:17:42,268
Now, can we maybe think about
getting out of this room?

428
00:17:42,302 --> 00:17:43,579
Yeah.

429
00:17:43,614 --> 00:17:47,135
I mean, I'm not completely sure
what my new purpose is,

430
00:17:47,169 --> 00:17:49,447
but I know
what it is for today.

431
00:17:49,482 --> 00:17:51,104
[ Grunts ] We --

432
00:17:51,139 --> 00:17:52,105
[ Grunts ] Geez.

433
00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:55,488
We...are going
bed shopping,

434
00:17:55,522 --> 00:17:57,283
and -- and not
at that mattress store

435
00:17:57,317 --> 00:17:59,285
with the mariachi band.

436
00:17:59,319 --> 00:18:01,597
I-I don't think
I can face those guys.

437
00:18:05,153 --> 00:18:06,637
Hi.

438
00:18:06,671 --> 00:18:08,673
[ Scoffs ]
What do you want?

439
00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:11,435
I made you
some mac and cheese.

440
00:18:11,469 --> 00:18:13,471
There's, uh,
two powder packets in here,

441
00:18:13,506 --> 00:18:15,473
'cause you're not
driving, right?

442
00:18:17,165 --> 00:18:20,029
I really don't want to hear
anything you have to say.

443
00:18:20,064 --> 00:18:22,446
Well, here's the deal.

444
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,137
I'm not gonna
say anything.

445
00:18:24,172 --> 00:18:26,829
Oh, good.
Then you can leave.

446
00:18:26,864 --> 00:18:28,003
I am gonna say
one thing.

447
00:18:28,037 --> 00:18:30,695
[ Scoffs ]
Knew it.

448
00:18:32,180 --> 00:18:36,632
Look, no matter
what you think,

449
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,669
I would never, ever

450
00:18:38,703 --> 00:18:40,671
want you to go through
something like this.

451
00:18:40,705 --> 00:18:44,468
There is not one bit of this
that makes me happy.

452
00:18:44,502 --> 00:18:47,022
I mean, that was gonna be
my grandkid.

453
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:52,441
It's hard for me to think
about you being so relieved

454
00:18:52,476 --> 00:18:54,650
that I wasn't
gonna have the baby.

455
00:18:54,685 --> 00:18:56,997
I'm having all these
crazy feelings,

456
00:18:57,032 --> 00:19:00,139
even though I wasn't planning
to have a baby.

457
00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:03,383
Well, yeah, I mean, you were
just starting to wrap your head

458
00:19:03,418 --> 00:19:06,628
around keeping it and getting
excited about being a mom,

459
00:19:06,662 --> 00:19:09,009
and then, suddenly,
that's taken away.

460
00:19:09,044 --> 00:19:12,496
Well, I mean, that's got
to be hard and confusing.

461
00:19:12,530 --> 00:19:14,532
I know. I-I let myself
connect with it,

462
00:19:14,567 --> 00:19:17,466
and now that's gone.

463
00:19:17,501 --> 00:19:19,399
And the minute
I start to think

464
00:19:19,434 --> 00:19:20,814
maybe it'll be
easier this way,

465
00:19:20,849 --> 00:19:23,058
I-I feel so guilty.

466
00:19:23,092 --> 00:19:24,991
I know I, like,
could have eaten better

467
00:19:25,025 --> 00:19:26,303
and rested more --

468
00:19:26,337 --> 00:19:28,650
No, no, no.
Don't do that.

469
00:19:28,684 --> 00:19:29,996
It's not your fault,
okay?

470
00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:31,100
This is so common.

471
00:19:31,135 --> 00:19:32,101
Remember what
the doctor said?

472
00:19:32,136 --> 00:19:34,345
It's like 20%.

473
00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:38,349
But just the fact that you feel
like you didn't do enough

474
00:19:38,384 --> 00:19:41,421
means that, one day,
you're gonna be a great mom.

475
00:19:41,456 --> 00:19:42,422
Alright?

476
00:19:42,457 --> 00:19:44,769
Now, it's gonna
come in waves,

477
00:19:44,804 --> 00:19:47,427
and when it does,
you can talk,

478
00:19:47,462 --> 00:19:49,257
and I will listen.

479
00:19:50,258 --> 00:19:52,398
Thanks.

480
00:19:52,432 --> 00:19:54,814
You're not gonna hold me
the whole time, are you?

481
00:19:57,161 --> 00:20:01,614
Well, not the wholetime,
but until you fall asleep,

482
00:20:01,648 --> 00:20:04,858
and then another
hour or two...

483
00:20:04,893 --> 00:20:08,207
unless I fall asleep,
then for the night.

484
00:20:09,484 --> 00:20:11,037
I don't know what's
more suffocating --

485
00:20:11,071 --> 00:20:14,454
your love or this
dense-looking mac and cheese.

486
00:20:16,318 --> 00:20:20,426
I wasgoing to ask
if you wanted to come back

487
00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:22,462
to the house
and live with me again.

488
00:20:22,497 --> 00:20:23,463
Really?

489
00:20:23,498 --> 00:20:24,464
Yeah, but it's too late.

490
00:20:24,499 --> 00:20:25,707
A half hour
after you left,

491
00:20:25,741 --> 00:20:27,433
I turned your room
into a scrapbooking space.

492
00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:29,435
[ Scoffs ]
Scrapbooking?

493
00:20:29,469 --> 00:20:31,851
What part of our lives
do you want to remember?

494
00:20:33,093 --> 00:20:35,441
Uh, so after you
choke that down,

495
00:20:35,475 --> 00:20:37,719
how about we go home?

496
00:20:37,753 --> 00:20:39,445
I'd like that.

497
00:20:39,479 --> 00:20:41,654
Yeah, besides, you're gonna
spend enough time in this room

498
00:20:41,688 --> 00:20:44,967
when you come back after you get
knocked up by the next drifter.

499
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,764
Was it too soon?

500
00:20:48,799 --> 00:20:51,042
♪♪

501
00:20:54,218 --> 00:20:56,496
Can't we just move
our new bed in?

502
00:20:56,531 --> 00:20:59,396
The waterbed was our first bed
as man and wife,

503
00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:02,295
and I think it's important
to commemorate

504
00:21:02,330 --> 00:21:04,090
this new chapter
in our lives.

505
00:21:04,124 --> 00:21:05,954
[ Sighs ] Alright.

506
00:21:05,988 --> 00:21:07,956
Well, seems a little
much to me,

507
00:21:07,990 --> 00:21:10,441
but if you want
to do it, okay.

508
00:21:10,476 --> 00:21:11,753
Okay, we're ready!

509
00:21:11,787 --> 00:21:14,859
[ Mariachi band playing ]

510
00:21:14,894 --> 00:21:18,000
♪♪

511
00:21:18,035 --> 00:21:20,831
[ Mariachi performer
singing in Spanish ]

512
00:21:20,865 --> 00:21:27,355
♪♪