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00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:04,213
[bluesy harmonica music]
2
00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:05,339
Oh, nice.
3
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,507
We finally got a chef.
4
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,760
I didn't know what you
liked, so we have OJ with pulp,
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00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:13,555
without pulp,
and just to be safe, some pulp.
6
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:16,350
How considerate is Tyler?
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He got here first thing this
morning to make us breakfast
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00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:22,898
and adorably overthink
our juice choices.
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It was also
considerate last night
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00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,819
when he made us dinner
in the same clothes
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as the night before.
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And now he's wearing
slipper socks.
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He's living here, Becky.
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Look, we left
the door wide open,
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and all we did was study,
I swear.
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Oh, way to buckle
under pressure, Sully.
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Listen, Becky--
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No, you listen.
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I'm a grown woman,
and I pay rent.
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Even a poor,
middle-aged college student
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is entitled to some happiness.
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You are so controlling
and bitter.
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I'm fine with it.
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Nothing in our
history could have
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prepared me for that response.
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Wow, man in uniform
cooking for us?
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All right.
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Ooh, some pulp, hey.
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I usually have to mix my own.
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Don't faint, but Darlene
is OK with Tyler staying over.
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Hey, I've done it.
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We took in David
when he was a stray.
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But if you want to carry
on the Conner tradition,
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you've got to have
a couple of kids with them
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and live in abject poverty.
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OK,
I'll quit my job and start
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working on that poverty thing.
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Then I'm just with a guy
wearing slipper socks
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and making eggs.
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I am not going back to my 30s.
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Hey, are you ready for an
early 50th birthday present?
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Oh. Not really.
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New vitamins for 50-plus.
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They are gummies
but not so sticky
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they'll pull your bridge out.
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You really shouldn't have,
and I mean it.
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Hey, are you OK
with your birthday?
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Because I've been
trying to talk to you
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00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:03,623
about it the last two weeks,
50
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,250
and you've been
shutting me down.
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I'm not shutting you down.
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You just keep bringing
it up, and I just
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00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,713
keep not talking about it.
54
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,590
But we talk about everything.
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Why can't you talk about this?
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Honestly, I don't know.
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I don't feel like it?
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Well, the fact that you
don't want to talk about it
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lets me know that you
should be talking about it.
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Can we please just let it go?
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00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:28,607
OK, look, if you don't
want to talk to me,
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how about you talk
to one of your guy friends?
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[scoffs]
My guy friends are your dad.
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Hey, Tyler's around your age.
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Why don't you talk to him?
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[scoffs]
He's our cook.
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Stop resisting.
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Go talk to our manservant
about your senior struggles.
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Oh my God, that sounds awful.
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Do I have to?
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Yes.
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And take your old man vitamins
so you don't forget what
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you're talking to him about.
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[bluesy rock music]
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♪ ♪
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The Conners
is recorded in front
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00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:23,537
of a live studio audience.
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So, uh, when you have
to wear that getup,
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you feel like it's
always Halloween?
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I suppose it could be a
costume if it wasn't my job.
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So this is the first
time we've been alone.
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Yeah.
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00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,789
Yep.
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00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:12,294
Yeah, it is.
85
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:14,963
So what's going on?
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Well, my wife thinks
I need a male friend.
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That's funny.
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My mom says
the same thing about me.
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It's silly, right?
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Yeah.
We're grown men.
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So how do we do it?
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What? Be friends?
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Yeah.
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00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:42,574
I could help you move
some furniture or something.
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00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:48,121
When I see guys on TV,
sometimes they're bowling.
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00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,583
I'm not a great bowler.
97
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:54,503
I've seen guys on TV
at a bar drinking beers.
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We could do that.
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But just us?
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No. No.
101
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,430
No, I would call
Dan and Neville, you know,
102
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:09,059
just in case we can't keep up
this rapid-fire back and forth
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we've been crushing.
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Well, OK, it's a date.
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It's a guy date.
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Eh.
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A man hang.
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Oh, let's stop naming it.
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Got it.
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Uh, after you.
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Oh, no, that's OK.
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00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,116
I'll give you
a minute, you know,
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so it's not like this
in the other room too.
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♪ ♪
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Can you believe
how hard it is getting
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the machine at mom's house?
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And now Tyler's
going to be there,
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so it's going to be worse.
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It could drive a guy to drink.
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Drive a guy to drink.
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Phrases from the '40s.
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What do I win?
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I was just trying
to find a smooth segue
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into asking you to buy
alcohol for me and my friends?
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You don't have a fake ID?
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I bought one,
but it's not going to work.
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It says I'm Dr. Lester Wong.
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Didn't you look at it first?
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00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,860
No, they charge you
an extra 100 bucks to look,
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and I'm not making
Dr. Lester Wong kind of money.
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OK, here's the deal.
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I'll bring a bunch of booze
down to your dorm room,
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and when
your friends are drunk,
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you convince them to let me
give them tattoos while I
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still work at the parlor.
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Fine.
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00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,792
But they're all
computer science nerds,
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so get ready
to write, "I'm saving
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myself for Princess Leia"
on a lot of skinny, pale arms.
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♪ ♪
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[indistinct chatter]
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What is going on
with this place tonight?
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It's like a zoo in here.
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I don't know.
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00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,225
I haven't been in here forever,
because I've
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been so busy at the clinic.
147
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,688
You offer 5 bucks off
on spaying and neutering,
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00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:39,649
and you are up to your elbows
in tubes and testicles.
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Sorry.
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00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,404
Hey, did you find out why
it's so crowded tonight?
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00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,282
I found out why
it's so crowded tonight.
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It's Help Our Yelp night.
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00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:52,370
You give the bar a five-star
review, you get a free beer.
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00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,581
The bartender called
me an asswipe.
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00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,792
I wrote, "The staff is
attentive and professional."
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Well, here's to Ben
for getting us all together.
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00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:04,174
Oh, well, hey, actually,
you guys should thank Darlene,
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00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,842
because she thinks
I need to talk
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00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:10,221
to you guys about something,
but I can't hear a damn thing.
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Talk-- talk to us about what?
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00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:14,934
It's kind of personal.
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00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,061
Oh, just say it.
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00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:18,605
We're not going
to tell anybody.
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Calamari's delicious!
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All right,
this is ridiculous.
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I have my own little
place where I hang out.
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I guess we could go there,
but it has to stay a secret.
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00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,368
Tell me where it is.
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00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,536
All my wives said
I'm great at keeping secrets.
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00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:39,584
You never told us you had
a secret spot, you dirty dog.
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00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,877
Where is it?
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You'll see.
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No, but seriously,
you got to promise not
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00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:46,508
to tell any of our partners.
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00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:47,759
Oh, yeah.
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00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:48,968
And hey, that goes
double for you, Tyler.
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00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,345
Why me?
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00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,763
Because you're
in a new relationship,
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00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:54,307
so that makes you
the weak link.
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00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,559
You think you're
in "Love Actually,"
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00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:59,521
but you're only one argument
away from "The Shining."
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00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:05,735
All right, losers, I got the
magic stuff that'll make you
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00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:08,279
feel better about yourselves.
184
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:09,823
Thank you so much.
185
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,492
I'll see you this weekend
back at the house?
186
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,952
Cool.
187
00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:16,496
Wait, what are we supposed
to mix the margaritas in?
188
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,874
Aren't you all, like,
future scientists of America?
189
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,167
Actually,
we're not scientists--
190
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,670
Stop, I'm so bored.
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You just mix it in your mouth.
192
00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:27,006
It's called
an upside-down margarita.
193
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,633
How do we do that?
194
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:31,636
Do we have to take
our Invisaligns out?
195
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,054
Just lay down on the bed.
196
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:35,515
I'm sorry.
197
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,100
I promise,
after you do this, you can go.
198
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,685
It's OK.
199
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,645
I've never been in
a college dorm before.
200
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:43,481
It'll be fun observing you
and all your friends wasted
201
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:44,482
in your natural habitat.
202
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:52,032
All right, now get up,
shake your head, and swallow.
203
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:57,620
That felt amazing.
204
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,205
I'm so drunk.
205
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,291
All right.
Everybody line up.
206
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,960
Actually, I think
we can take over from here.
207
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,378
Come on.
208
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,381
Let your hot sister stay,
Dr. Wong.
209
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,426
I would, but she has
a restaurant to run.
210
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:13,261
Those patty melts
don't melt themselves.
211
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,513
Relax, dude.
It's fine.
212
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:18,683
All right, now, everybody,
tilt your head back.
213
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,185
It's time to water
the nerd crops.
214
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:26,941
OK, never have I ever, um,
215
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,694
denied that I was related
to this family.
216
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,072
Hmm.
217
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,700
Becky, this isn't fair.
218
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:36,659
You're not even getting drunk.
219
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,244
No.
220
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:41,998
I'm just burning
a sober hole in my esophagus.
221
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,374
OK.
222
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:47,253
Never have I ever
worn Louise's shoes to make
223
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,880
fun of the way she dances.
224
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,094
I thought I was alone.
225
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:57,263
[laughs]
Why did we have to wait
226
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,057
for the guys to have
guys' night before we
227
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,767
started having girls' night?
228
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,228
I don't know, but the last
two weeks have been so great.
229
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,188
Ben's been coming home
way more relaxed,
230
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,439
which is so good for him.
231
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,899
And then I get
to throw it in his face
232
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,567
that I was right,
which is so good for me.
233
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,486
OK.
234
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,112
So when we're done with this,
why don't we surprise the guys
235
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,155
and go down to the Lobo?
236
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,615
Mm.
237
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,742
Hey, what about girls' night?
238
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:21,204
Never have I ever
enjoyed a girls' night.
239
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:22,747
This is odd.
240
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:26,376
I just got a text from Ben
saying that they're bowling.
241
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,503
But aren't they supposed
to be at the Lobo?
242
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,380
Becky, didn't Tyler send
you a picture earlier?
243
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,257
Yeah, he did.
244
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:35,593
Doesn't look like the Lobo.
245
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:37,345
Well,
maybe it's the bathroom?
246
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,097
Well,
maybe they took the picture
247
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,558
like that because they're
trying to hide where they are.
248
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,309
Oh.
249
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:46,229
Well, it just got interesting,
because Ben turned off
250
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:47,981
his location sharing.
251
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,816
Neville did too.
252
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,568
So did Tyler.
253
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:55,321
So men hiding their
location from their partners?
254
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,532
They're at a strip club.
255
00:10:57,532 --> 00:11:00,952
Tyler is not
a strip club guy.
256
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:03,204
He lives with his mom.
257
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:04,664
He's always on the road.
258
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,917
Oh my God,
he is a strip club guy.
259
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:11,713
You guys do what you want,
but I am going to confront Ben.
260
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:15,508
All I require in a relationship
is a little honesty.
261
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,719
I mean, if I can't trust Ben
to keep his location
262
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,762
sharing on so that I can
track him like an animal,
263
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,014
what do we have?
264
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,765
[bluesy harmonica music]
265
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:27,687
[bluesy guitar music]
266
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,232
You know, you've been here
like ten nights in a row.
267
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:32,901
Don't you have
anything else to do?
268
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,819
Yes, I do.
269
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:38,198
I just have to take
this call, and then I'll go.
270
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,657
Hello?
271
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:40,742
Mark Healy?
272
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:42,577
Yes, he's right here.
273
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:43,578
It's for you.
274
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:46,039
It's someone named Señor Weed.
275
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,082
He says breathe in
and let the dork out.
276
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,002
Hello?
277
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,630
Oh, oh, lo siento, señor.
278
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,757
Oh, I see.
279
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:58,092
You're looking for someone
who's pathetic and sad,
280
00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:00,094
because she doesn't have
her own life?
281
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:01,888
Oh, do you want to take
this now or call him back
282
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,890
from literally anywhere else?
283
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,767
What's your problem?
284
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:07,393
I'm just having fun
hanging out with your friends
285
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:10,563
Derek and what's his face.
286
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,441
Hey, we have nicknames
for each other now.
287
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:16,694
I'm going to call you mine.
288
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:17,904
You do that
and the police are going
289
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,114
to be calling you missing.
290
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,577
You really need to go.
291
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,120
I don't want
to hurt your feelings,
292
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,538
but these are my friends.
293
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,332
And they respect me
too much to say that they
294
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,333
don't want you around.
295
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,585
Hey, Mark, sorry, buddy.
296
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:33,920
The toilet's clogged.
297
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,089
We need you to turn
into super janitor man.
298
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,175
Harris, you can play
for Mark until he gets back.
299
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,761
I don't think your
friends want me to leave.
300
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,262
It doesn't matter.
301
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:44,514
I do.
302
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:45,974
This is my dorm room.
303
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,767
You don't even go here.
304
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,102
You don't belong here.
305
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,523
Thanks for making me feel
so welcome.
306
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:00,446
Great.
307
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,156
You made your sister leave.
308
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:04,575
I was this close.
309
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:05,827
Oh, don't worry.
310
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:08,079
You're clearly on her radar,
what's his face.
311
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,584
[bluesy harmonica music]
312
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:18,506
♪ ♪
313
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:22,510
Thanks so much for sharing
this place with us, man.
314
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:27,015
You know, once you get
used to the intense smell,
315
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,851
it is incredibly relaxing.
316
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,728
The power of animals.
317
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:35,148
That's why I "work late"
two nights a week.
318
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,774
How come you never
told Jackie?
319
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:38,234
Because then
she'd want to come,
320
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,194
and we'd be sitting here.
321
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,488
And it'd be quiet and relaxed.
322
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:45,533
And then she'd want
to know what I was thinking.
323
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:47,660
Oh, God.
324
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,162
Yeah.
325
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:53,082
She'd want to talk
about life and feelings,
326
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,585
and are my
night terrors about her?
327
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,170
Hmm.
328
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,338
Hey, Dan,
any more texts from Louise?
329
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:00,673
No.
330
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,675
That picture with all our
faces smashed together
331
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,469
did the trick.
332
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,971
Who was wearing
the sandalwood?
333
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,181
That was kind of nice.
334
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,852
It was me.
335
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,604
You know,
I was going to tell you guys
336
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:17,023
about what was bugging me
the first time we came here.
337
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,567
But these last two weeks
have been so great,
338
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,277
I haven't really
felt the need to.
339
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,738
No one's been asking me,
what's wrong?
340
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:26,532
What's bothering me?
341
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,367
[sighs]
342
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:32,330
But truth is, I have been
feeling a little anxious
343
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:35,083
about turning 50, right?
344
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:37,877
But Darlene
just won't let it go.
345
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,462
Yeah, 50's a tough one.
346
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,214
- Right?
- Yeah.
347
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,341
But I wasn't ready
to talk about it.
348
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,301
And you know who's
just fine with that?
349
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,721
This young fella right here.
350
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:55,019
Can I tell Francis
he's a good kitty?
351
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:59,649
Well, is Francis
being a good kitty?
352
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,275
Yes.
353
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:05,279
Then yes, you can.
354
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,448
Good kitty.
355
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,201
[bluesy harmonica music]
356
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:16,165
[bluesy harmonica music]
357
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:17,792
We need to talk.
358
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:20,586
Oh, damn, it's only you.
359
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,588
From you, that's like a hug.
360
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,881
I'm sorry.
361
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,216
I'm kind of wound up.
362
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:27,468
Becky and I are waiting
to ambush our men.
363
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:30,179
But actually,
I do need to talk to you also.
364
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:33,307
Why are you hanging
around Mark's dorm room?
365
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:36,561
Can't believe
he tattled on me to Mommy.
366
00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:38,604
I go because it's fun.
367
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:41,232
I like playing video games
and drinking beer.
368
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:43,317
And my friends are all
working and having babies.
369
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,528
And the only
people you can find
370
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:49,198
to hang out with are a bunch
of ramen-eating virgins?
371
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,701
Mark's friends are in
the college party bubble.
372
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,579
And they won't be having
babies anytime soon,
373
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:56,080
unless they can build
a robot with a uterus
374
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,290
to have sex with them.
375
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,041
But I think the robot
could do better.
376
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,005
Look, Harris, I know
you're better than this.
377
00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:07,258
You could go to a bar and have
the exact same experience.
378
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:08,551
So why a college dorm?
379
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:14,682
I just want to see
what I missed out on, OK?
380
00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:17,518
I'm about to jump into
the Lunch Box with both feet.
381
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,938
And once I do,
I'm locked into adult life.
382
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,857
I just want
to make sure I'm not
383
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:25,109
making a commitment too early.
384
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,485
What do you think?
385
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,196
Do you think I'm making
the right choice?
386
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,322
Well, you've seen my life.
387
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,073
I have no idea.
388
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:33,326
It's not like I was 47
and suddenly
389
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:36,954
realized I was meant to scoop
slop to a bunch of Gen Zers.
390
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:40,541
Look, just steer clear of
your brother's dorm room, OK?
391
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,501
He's already embarrassed
that I'm a lunch lady
392
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:43,920
and he's a janitor.
393
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,963
He does not need his
older sister ripping bowls
394
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:47,465
and passing out in his room.
395
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,842
Well, I wouldn't
feel too bad for him.
396
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:54,055
In his spare time, he's a
32-year-old Asian podiatrist.
397
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:56,766
The car just pulled up.
They're here.
398
00:16:56,766 --> 00:17:00,061
Do not peek out that window,
and don't you dare give
399
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,062
Tyler a hug when he comes in.
400
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,104
We need to break them.
401
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:08,653
Where the hell have you been?
402
00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:09,946
The Lobo.
403
00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:11,280
Of course you were.
404
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,657
Darlene had me
thinking the worst.
405
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:13,449
No.
Leave it.
406
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:16,077
Leave it.
407
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:17,912
Look, we're not upset that
you went to a strip club.
408
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,372
We're upset that you lied.
409
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,456
What?
410
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,916
We didn't go to a strip club.
411
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:24,752
Look, we can't tell you,
but I promise you,
412
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:25,753
you wouldn't mind.
413
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:29,090
We're not talking to you.
414
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,050
It's OK, honey.
415
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:34,845
Tell us where
the bad men took you.
416
00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:36,556
Yeah, tell us, honey.
417
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,017
Oh, don't do it, man.
418
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:41,936
Hold on.
419
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:45,314
We were at Neville's clinic
hanging with the sick animals.
420
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:46,899
Really?
421
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,526
Yeah.
422
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:49,860
Well, there's something
about a strip club
423
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:52,238
that's less
disturbing than that.
424
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,115
Look, it's Neville's secret.
425
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:56,075
Nights where he
just sits quietly,
426
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,453
comforts the sick animals,
and just has time to think.
427
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:01,831
And it is really nice.
428
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:03,874
But you still lied.
429
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,835
Darlene's right.
430
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,087
And we're going to punish you
by taking a shower together.
431
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,886
You can't be mad.
432
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:17,346
I did what you asked.
433
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,181
I went and hung out
with the guys.
434
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,350
No, that's not what I asked.
435
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,645
I asked you to open up
and share all of your fears
436
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:28,149
about turning 50
and processing those feelings
437
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:30,818
into a healthier
and more accepting
438
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:32,069
outlook and attitude.
439
00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,238
Yeah.
440
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,782
It doesn't work
for me like that.
441
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:41,203
But all the quiet time with
the guys and a cute little goat
442
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,539
named Fernando really helped.
443
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,041
And look, you wanted me to
feel better, I feel better.
444
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,042
Isn't that the point?
445
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,418
No.
446
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,628
You were supposed
to feel better my way.
447
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:52,006
Hey, you grew up
in a big, boisterous family,
448
00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:54,216
where everyone just
spewed out what
449
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:56,636
they were feeling at each
other as they were feeling it.
450
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,846
Well, my mom always said,
if you hold it in,
451
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,765
you get kidney stones.
452
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:03,559
And my dad, well, he held it
in, and he got kidney stones.
453
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:06,520
So my reasoning
is backed by science.
454
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:07,980
I can't do it that way.
455
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,857
My parents weren't available.
456
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,567
I spent most of my time
up in my room
457
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:14,362
with my interior monologue
just trying to figure
458
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:16,155
things out in my own time.
459
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:18,991
No, I get that.
460
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,535
We were too poor for me to
have an interior monologue.
461
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:22,912
Becky and I had to share one.
462
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:28,709
Look, all I really care
about is that you're OK
463
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:32,380
and that turning 50 isn't going
to plunge you into some hole
464
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,840
that I can't pull you out of.
465
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,467
I'm good, OK?
466
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:38,636
I'm getting a handle on it.
467
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,805
I also kind of have
to get used to the idea
468
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,182
that my husband would
rather talk to some goat
469
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,433
than his own wife.
470
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,018
Well, I didn't talk.
471
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,061
I sang to it.
472
00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:48,437
And it's not just any goat.
473
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:49,814
That's demeaning.
474
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:52,274
But you know what?
475
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:54,193
None of this would
have ever happened
476
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,946
if you hadn't suggested
that I go and spend
477
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:58,114
some time with Tyler.
478
00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,657
Well,
I like where this is going.
479
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,117
Mm.
480
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:02,702
Well, I hope you like
where it's been, because I'm
481
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:03,702
not going any further.
482
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:10,376
You know, it does sound
kind of peaceful and nice,
483
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,962
and I could use some time
to think about things.
484
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,256
Maybe we could all go together.
485
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,174
It really does bug you
when I've got my own thing,
486
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,592
doesn't it?
487
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:19,885
It really does.
488
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:23,431
[bluesy harmonica music]
489
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:28,519
[bluesy harmonica music]
490
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:29,520
♪ ♪
491
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,480
Wow.
492
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,607
Are you sure we won't get
into trouble for this?
493
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:35,693
I got two glasses
of chardonnay into Neville.
494
00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,611
He's out till tomorrow.
495
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,488
OK.
496
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:44,118
So from what I got out of Ben,
here's how it works.
497
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:46,245
No one says anything.
498
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,164
We just sit here
with the animals,
499
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:51,083
and we get clarity on things
that are bothering us.
500
00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:10,269
There's Australian
male strippers
501
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,730
at Chaps in Chaps tonight.
502
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:18,986
[child giggles]