Hey, what'’s the update on the school board race?
It'’s still too close to call.
But it doesn'’t have to be.
I'’ve got a video of her opponent
rescuing a puppy from the shelter.
I run it backwards, it looks like she'’s abandoning a puppy.
You make that go viral before the polls close.
Come on!
Jackie, I am running to help the kids.
What kind of message does that send
if I don'’t do it with integrity?
-Hmm. -But it wouldn'’t hurt to start editing it.
You know, this is the first time any of us have run
for something.
Usually we'’re running from things.
[sighs] Race is still neck and neck.
Did you land on a story for your article?
Just finished.
It'’s about a father and son who came into my store
to buy the kid his first toolbox.
I like your approach.
Dull but true.
Hey, look, I know it'’s for Hardware Magazine,
but it'’s not really about the toolbox. Okay?
Dad says they'’re gonna build a bunker together
for when the world becomes a nuclear hellscape.
And then the kid says,
-"Yeah, but, Dad, would it--" -[Darlene snores]
Oh, come on!
Hey. Hey, that'’s not--
-I mean, this is the-- -[Darlene laughs]
[Jackie, Darlene laugh]
-No, go on. -Yeah. No, no, no. Tell us.
[Jackie, Darlene laugh]
-The dad says... -Yeah.
So the dad says,
"We'’re gonna build this bunker together for--"
[both groan, laugh]
I'’m kidding.
-So the kid says-- -[both chuckling]
"What if the world isn'’t incinerated?" And the dad says,
"I don'’t know, I guess we'll just turn it into a game room."
Okay. There it is.
I look forward to the Hallmark movie.
[chuckling]
-Hey. -[Tyler] Hey.
-Hi. -Hi, guys. Thanks for coming over.
We brought election-night sliders.
I'’m too nervous to watch the election,
but I did hear the rustling of a burger bag.
Don'’t tell me. Crinkle it one more time.
White Castle.
[Becky laughs]
If only we could turn that superpower into money.
I really hope you win so you can teach your music program.
Start turning out some serious rock stars.
Why? So they enjoy a fleeting moment of success
before they'’re dragged down into a black hole
of drugs and alcohol?
That doesn'’t sound like my little ray of sunshine.
That sounds like my little winter solstice.
I'’m sorry.
Interning at the rehab center has really gotten me
in a dark place.
Hearing all the problems of the patients
during their therapy sessions,
I-I just can'’t shake them.
Well, you gotta get out of that headspace.
Try this.
Pose what you hear as a positive
instead of a negative.
Instead of problems,
you call them opportunities for change.
Change-ortunities. Change your-- That'’s kind of fun. [chuckles]
Oh, right. This one woman, Annie,
shooting heroin made the veins in her arms collapse.
So now she gets to shoot between her toes.
-Change-ortunities! -Change-ortunities.
Wow. That was so cynical and dark.
Love this new you.
I don'’t, but it's part of the job,
and I want to help these people.
-Oh, that'’s wonderful. -[cheering]
It'’s the right thing to do. I'’m not trying to be a hero.
I'’m sorry, honey, we weren't even listening to you.
-Louise just won her school board seat. -[Jackie] Yeah!
[Ben] Yeah!
Oh, thank you, guys, for all your support.
Finally, something to celebrate.
Hey, did anyone get a call from the fire department?
Nice timing.
No, I-I'’m serious.
I think the hardware store is on fire.
-What? -There was a lot of smoke.
The streets were all blocked off, so I couldn'’t be sure.
Oh, my God, this is horrible.
Oh, congratulations, Louise. You go, girl.
Oh, my God.
It'’s all gone.
There'’s gotta be something we can salvage.
Oh, hey. Look right here.
These fireplace matches, totally fine.
[Harris] The Conners is filmed
in front of a live studio audience.
Damn.
Wow.
Hey, what took you guys so long?
The cops wouldn'’t let me through.
I told them I work here. They told me to prove it.
Unfortunately, the only proof we had was a video
Dan had sent me of him working late
dancing to "Do Ya Think I'’m Sexy?"
in just his hardware apron.
Cops asked Louise if she wanted to press charges.
Holy crap.
There'’s nothing left. How do you come back from this?
Ben, what could you have done so wrong in your life
to deserve something as terrible as this?
Uh, I don'’t know if you saw it, but I texted you
that your energy might not be completely appropriate here.
I did. I texted you back. "See you in a few."
What do you think caused this fire?
Well, it'’s obvious. Louise and I finally had
paying off the house in sight,
so God burned down my major source of income.
Do you think your insurance will cover it?
I don'’t know. I, uh,
kept the policy here. [grunts]
So I'’ve been meaning to put this in the fireproof safe.
I'’ll have to call my mom and find out.
Oh, crap. That'’s right. I-I forgot.
Happy Mother'’s Day.
Oh, thank you, honey.
This is kind of how my body felt after you were born.
[Tyler] Hey, I brought you something.
Had to drop off a load of boxes in New Orleans,
brought you back some pralines, don'’t you know.
'’Bout ready to go?
Sorry, I can'’t make dinner.
Gave my e-mail and phone number to some of the patients,
and I'’m in the middle of answering them.
Are interns supposed to be giving out
personal information to patients?
No, but I felt depressed
because I was listening to all these women
who are going through hell
and I wasn'’t allowed to do anything about it.
So now I am.
Look, I don'’t know much about this,
but it seems like communicating directly
with your patients can get you in trouble.
I-I don'’t care.
Beverly Rose is with her dad right now,
and this is what I need to do.
You also need to eat.
I'’m dealing with somebody
who'’s about to start turning tricks
to support her dope habit,
and you are asking me if I want to share a basket of wings.
It doesn'’t have to be wings.
Are you joking?
Look, I'’m just trying to lighten the mood.
I wanna take you out.
You know where nobody'’s ever sad?
Chili'’s.
I-I don'’t need to lighten my mood.
If sadness makes you uncomfortable,
you need to grow up.
Hey, I basically drive a bus in the sky.
That is very grown-up.
I can'’t always be the fun girl for you.
You think I'’m that shallow?
All I want is for you to be fun?
I mean, believe me, this is not fun.
But I'’m still here.
Well, maybe you'’re not strong enough to leave.
Okay, I was wrong.
Somebody is gonna be sad at Chili'’s.
Darlene, how'’s Ben gonna make up for this lost income?
Uh, well, he tried to sell his beard to Locks of Love, but,
nah, they'’re looking for younger beards.
Great news.
Called my mom to tell her the store burned down.
Like any loving and concerned mother,
she took two days to call me back.
But the upshot is mom and dad had great insurance
on the store.
-Oh! -Thank God.
-[Ben chuckles] -[Louise] Wow.
Called the company adjuster.
He came out, and when we met,
he said, even though I had an arsonist vibe,
that, uh, he couldn'’t find any evidence that I am one.
[laughs]
Arsonist vibe. That'’s what it is.
[chuckles]
But it turns out it was frayed wires.
But, hey, we'’re covered.
The structure, inventory all of it.
We could rebuild the whole store.
I want to get back to work as soon as possible.
Uh, I could bring in a couple of contractor buddies,
and they could start work immediately.
Oh, hold on now. Let'’s not rush this.
You'’re right. You're right. You'’re right.
If-- If we rush things,
we'’ll end up with a slipshod job.
Let'’s kick back, have a couple beers,
then rush things, end up with a slipshod job
that we don'’t care about '’cause we're drunk.
I say let'’s just take a moment to be incredibly thankful,
because this could have been so much worse.
[Darlene, Dan, Ben] Amen.
Yes.
Can I get an amen? I mean, even I said it,
and I don'’t believe in any of that nonsense.
Well, you know, when I first found out
that we were gonna be getting all that money,
my first thought wasn'’t to rebuild the store.
What was your first thought?
If it was a snowmobile, yes. If we have money left over.
No, it was that... [sighs]
...I never really wanted that hardware store
in the first place.
And I feel a little guilty saying this,
but... [sighs]
...I'’m kind of glad that it'’s gone.
No, I-I get that.
I think about the cafeteria burning down every day.
What if we don'’t rebuild, you know?
What if we use that insurance money to do something else?
I called Hardware Magazine,
and the owner is retiring and he'’s willing to sell.
Okay.
I have to ask you this...
Did you burn down the store?
No. I didn'’t burn it down.
God did it for me so I can have a magazine again. Amen.
No. A magazine is such a big risk.
I mean, we'’ve done this before, and since we'’re not having
this conversation on our yacht off Saint-Tropez,
I think it might not be a viable path forward.
Yeah, but the mug shot magazine, that was during a recession.
And Hardware Magazine,they'’ve already got a decent following.
You know, they'’ve been getting a whole lot
of positive emails about my column.
I don'’t know, Ben. It'’s just not good timing.
What about my dad? What about our bills? Um, sure. The future.
-Great. There'’ll be a time-- -No, no, no, no!
God is not gonna burn down my store twice for me.
Look, I know you'’re an atheist, but the time is now.
Look, the only reason I could afford to take
that cafeteria job
-is because the store was stable income. -[Ben sighs]
Okay.
I understand that we make these decisions together.
But, you know, I feel like this is my last shot
to-- to do something meaningful with my life.
Are you sure
that you don'’t want a snowmobile?
Becky'’s truck just pulled up.
Is she with Tyler?
No, but there'’s some woman in the truck.
-Mmm. -Why?
Oh, he called me
and said they had a fight.
He'’s really upset about the way she'’s been acting.
Hey. Uh,
one of the women from the rehab just got kicked out.
Could she stay with one of you guys for a couple nights
while I track down her family?
Why aren'’t you taking her to a shelter?
Oh, they won'’t take her
because she got into a fight at the rehab.
And, uh, then she kind of threatened to, uh,
drive a car into the place.
Uh, I'’d really like to help,
but Dan doesn'’t like it when there'’s a car blocking his TV.
Yeah. Jessica'’s not violent. She'’s just unstable.
Oh, unstable. Oh, I'’ll blow up the air mattress.
How did you go from observing at a clinic
to driving a patient around in your truck?
She'’s in a really screwed-up situation.
Come on, Jackie. Just help me this one time.
No way. I'’m not bringing some sketchy stranger into my house.
Neville can barely handle you guys coming over.
Okay. Now that you got a husband who'’s got a few bucks,
you don'’t care about anybody but yourself.
There'’s a difference between caring
and doing something stupid.
Becky, you have to set boundaries.
Tyler'’s really worried about you.
You two are talking about me?
He called me and he said you'’ve become
an entirely different person.
Yeah, both of you need to mind your own business.
These are my patients, okay?
-Back off. -Your patients?
You'’re an intern who got caught up with substance abusers.
That'’s not safe for somebody who'’s still new to recovery.
Wow. Use my addiction against me.
You know what? Never mind.
We'’re gonna drive around until we find an actual human being.
[Jackie] What the--
Damn it.
She took off with my truck.
I'’m gonna tell Jessica it'’s not her fault.
No, you'’re not.
Why did you do that?
Her number is in my phone,
and now I can'’t find her.
Yeah, that'’s why I did it.
I will call the cops, tell them that she stole your truck.
That woman needs professional help.
You need to chill. You'’re not thinking straight.
I have never been more clear.
Thanks for nothing.
Thanks, but you don'’t have to give me all this food, Mom.
Oh, yeah, I do. I know what they feed you at school.
Because I feed it to you.
I heard you talking to Ben about the magazine.
Yes, I felt bad about that, but we just can'’t afford it.
He hates working at the hardware store so much.
You can see it in his eyes. And he only worked there for us.
Yes, you'’re right.
And I would love to be able to repay the favor,
but it'’s just too risky.
I mean, I actually think the magazine'’s a great idea,
but it could still fail because that'’s how the Conners roll.
But Ben'’s not a Conner.
So, even if he got the curse through marital contact,
it'’s only half as strong.
Well, his business just burned to a crisp.
So it seems pretty strong to me.
And, look, i-if he does fail,
then I'’d have to quit my job to pay the bills,
and we wouldn'’t be able to afford your tuition.
I-I know. But Ben sacrificed so much for me.
I'’m-- I'm willing to make a sacrifice for him.
I'’ve never said anything half as nice as that about Ben.
I'’m just saying,
w-why are his dreams less important than ours?
Can I get back to you on that?
Hey, Ben, my mom wants to talk to you.
I'’m just looking at stuff
to make the hardware store more fun,
you know, if I rebuild it.
This is a claw machine where you can win a screwdriver.
-Mmm. -So if I win it,
I can drive it into my heart.
[Darlene chuckles]
God, you are so dramatic.
All right, you can have the magazine.
Sorry, I didn'’t hear that. What?
I'’m not saying it again. It hurt too much the first time.
Oh, my God. Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
You won'’t regret this any more than any of the other
horrible decisions you'’ve made in your life.
-[Dan] Hello! We'’re here. -So, are you happy?
Ah! Completely.
Okay, enjoy that for a minute,
because you won'’t be after you tell my dad
that he'’s got no place to work.
Hey. Thanks for the invite.
Hope you don'’t mind, we brought something.
Ah. No, that'’s great.
She'’s got a lasagna in there
in case we don'’t like your vegan food
'’cause, you know, we don't.
[sighs] Oh, boy.
So, I'’m not gonna use the insurance money
to rebuild the hardware store
because there'’s something else that I wanna do with it.
Now, Dan, don'’t freak out,
but I am going to use it to buy Hardware Magazine.
Are you kidding me?
Just hit me and get it over with.
And I'’m talking to you, Louise, '’cause I'm scared of Dan.
Hold my lasagna.
Okay. Whoa, whoa. Whoa, hey. Let me just say one thing first.
What?
I am giving Dan 10% of the insurance money
since he owned 10% of the business.
And I give this to you from the deepest part of my heart.
Just how deep is that heart?
Oh, high five figures.
-Oh, thank you. -[Ben laughs]
Oh.
I can pay off the house right now.
-Oh, man. Thank you. Thank you. -[Ben chuckles]
I didn'’t think you'd have the balls to burn the place down.
I'’m proud of you, son!
[knocks on door]
Becky, it'’s Jackie.
I know you don'’t wanna talk to me, but we need to talk.
I got you a new phone. I shouldn'’t have broken yours.
It'’s not my choice whether you wanna talk
to the people in rehab or not.
Yeah. Keep the phone.
I shouldn'’t be talking to anybody.
I'’m scared of where my head'’s at.
Well, then let'’s talk about that then.
[Becky sighs]
If I hadn'’t let Jessica into my truck, she wouldn'’t be in jail.
I made it worse.
I worked so hard to get here,
but I can'’t do this job.
I-- I really thought
that this is what I was meant to do, Jackie.
Becky, it is.
Becky, come on. Nobody can do it all alone,
you know, even trained professionals.
They-- They have their own therapists for support.
I thought therapists were the archenemy
of Lanford'’s leading life coach.
I'’m gonna tell you something that, uh,
you cannot repeat to a single person in this family.
You'’ve probably never noticed this,
but I have been through my share of tough times.
Well, you'’ve hidden it very well.
[laughs]
So, um, I'’m just gonna rip the Band-Aid off.
I go to a therapist.
Jackie,
I cannot believe you go to a therapist.
N-Not because you'’re still so crazy.
Uh, it'’s just that-- Have you ever been diagnosed?
Because we all have our theories.
Well, see, the only reason I'’m telling you this
is because there is a value
to processing your problems with professionals.
I-Is it helping?
Oh, for sure.
Oh, except when Joan gets into the doublespeak.
You know, borderline this, bipolar that.
Then I just check out.
Yeah, I can'’t afford a Joan.
Oh, well, see, now, that'’s where you'’re gonna help me.
I promised Neville I would go every week.
So, if I skip one, I go play the slots,
and then you take that one.
How is that ethical?
Oh, no. Oh, so now you'’re all about the rules?
Okay. I will go see Joan. Thank you.
[sighs] I still don'’t know if I'’m cut out for this though.
Well, first, just take a break from the clinic.
But believe me, you are.
Even a life coach can recognize
a fellow healer when she sees one.
-Aw. -[Jackie laughs]
-[knocks on door] -It'’s okay to come in?
Yeah. I'’m sorry about yesterday.
It'’s okay.
I'’ve been thinking.
[sighs] Pilots talk to other pilots
when they'’ve had really bad experiences in the air.
And I thought that maybe--
maybe you could talk to me about all the terrible stuff
you'’re dealing with.
You know what? That'’s a great idea.
Yeah.
I love you, okay? I can handle this.
Okay.
Uh...
so there'’s this woman, Marsha,
and she adopted three beautiful kids,
but she got hooked on opioids.
[Tyler crying]
Ben'’s mother and father worked here
for 50 years.
You can almost see Ben as a little boy
running around with his tiny little beard.
Family business. It'’s rough. A lot of memories.
Don'’t get emotional.
I'’m not. It'’s not even my family.
It'’s just the... [sniffles]
...burnt-out memories of somebody else'’s dream
that they worked so hard for their whole entire life.
I feel nothing.
[baby giggles]