1 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:07,508 Come on, slowpokes! We got a honeymoon to start! 2 00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:10,344 Uh, wasn't me. Not like I was packing lingerie. 3 00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:11,345 He knows what he bought. 4 00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:16,350 And I lost the receipt, so I guess I'm stuck with it. 5 00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,219 I can't believe you guys are going together. 6 00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:20,754 Well, Ben found a great deal, 7 00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:23,557 and better a double honeymoon than no honeymoon. 8 00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:24,492 Hm. 9 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:25,826 Maybe. 10 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,162 No. No. You know what? It's gonna be great. 11 00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:29,930 I-I did a lot of work on myself this year, 12 00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:31,332 and I'm gonna be positive. 13 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,766 Feels wrong, makes me kinda sweaty, 14 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,168 but I'm gonna do it. 15 00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:37,538 Anyway, here's where we're going. 16 00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:41,542 It's a lovely two-bedroom cabin on the lake near the dunes. 17 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:42,710 There's no reception. 18 00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,212 Oh. Fine by me. 19 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,180 The only signal I need is right here, 20 00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:48,582 and it is flashing green. 21 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,919 This is so weird. 22 00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:55,689 I never thought I'd be going on a honeymoon with my Aunt Jackie. 23 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:56,957 Aww! That's sweet. 24 00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,626 No, no. 25 00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:01,229 I mean I never thought you'd be going on a honeymoon. 26 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,431 What's that supposed to mean? 27 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,199 No, no. I-It's great. It's great. 28 00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:07,201 Just -- Just kind of a shocker, right? 29 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:08,702 I mean, even you've got to admit 30 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,438 your romantic life's been kind of a dumpster fire. 31 00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:14,041 Ben: [ Chuckles ] Right? I mean, holy cow. 32 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,776 You couldn't make a relationship work 33 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,611 if you gave it a salary and a company car. 34 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:19,280 [ Laughs ] 35 00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:23,083 You know, you're barely family. 36 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:24,585 And yet here we are, right? 37 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:28,088 You've got Neville and whatever brain-eating cow virus 38 00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:30,424 he picked up at work that's making him love you! 39 00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:31,792 [ Laughter ] 40 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,594 Fingers crossed for no cure! 41 00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:36,297 [ Laughing ] That's funny! Yeah! 42 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:38,299 Aunt Jackie finally trapped herself a man, 43 00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,000 but he's only got part of his brain. 44 00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:42,570 So if he tries to run away, he'll just go in circles. 45 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:45,406 [ Laughter ] 46 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,408 Hey. 47 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,411 It doesn't take a whole brain to love you. Mwah. 48 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:57,451 ** 49 00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:05,058 ** 50 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:12,833 ** 51 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:18,506 Boots and saddles, Harris. Boots and saddles. 52 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:20,974 Oh, we're all gonna be out of town at the same time, 53 00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:23,511 so somebody be sure to arm the security system. 54 00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:26,314 It's on. 55 00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:29,817 Harris, do you realize this is one of the last times 56 00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,385 we'll ever share a room? 57 00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:32,786 'Cause at Mom's new place, we each have our own. 58 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,955 Harris: Yeah. About that. 59 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,990 Mom, I know we planned on me moving in, 60 00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:39,527 but I decided it's better if I don't live with you. 61 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,995 Hey, you know what? It's okay. You don't owe me. 62 00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:43,464 But when you were little, 63 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,533 you wandered off into the park a couple times. 64 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,868 I set my coffee down and went looking for you. 65 00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,303 Didn't have to. 66 00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,539 Becky: Wait, Harris. 67 00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,707 I know we talked about getting a place together. 68 00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,209 And I love you. 69 00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:57,378 You're like a daughter to me. 70 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,380 But I just can't afford it right now. 71 00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:01,382 No, no. It's not that. 72 00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:03,651 I don't want to live with you either. 73 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,186 Well, you lose because I said it first. 74 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:08,689 So, where you gonna live? 75 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,391 With Grandpa and Louise. 76 00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:11,725 I'm sorry. 77 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:14,528 Is there another Grandpa and Louise who invited you? 78 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:17,231 I promised my Louise privacy. 79 00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:18,866 You said I was always welcome here. 80 00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:20,968 That's when you said you were leaving. 81 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,737 I'll talk to her when she comes off the road. 82 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,406 Okay! Load up! 83 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,708 Hey, how'd you guys decide on a water park? 84 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:30,544 Beverly Rose won a half-price coupon from her preschool 85 00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:33,547 because her knowledge of colors is exemplary. 86 00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:37,117 Banana, yellow. Beet, red. Beer, brown. 87 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,152 The last one's me. 88 00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,357 Thanks for avoiding living with me again. 89 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:45,225 It'd be nice to have an older sister 90 00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:47,027 who could give me advice once in a while 91 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,762 or be there for me during hard times. 92 00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:49,930 But it's fine. 93 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,132 I've gotten used to being an only child. 94 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,534 [ Sighs ] 95 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,936 ** 96 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,371 Oh! You know what? 97 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,206 You're lighter without all the negativity. 98 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,575 Oh! Well, that answers the question 99 00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:04,077 "How much does a personality weigh?" 100 00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:06,046 Oh, wow! Jackie: Oh! 101 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,481 Oh, Neville! 102 00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:10,418 Oh, my God! Neville! 103 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:11,885 Our room is huge! 104 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,621 It -- It really is. 105 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:16,189 Let's go see what our room is like. Yeah. 106 00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:22,630 You guys, there's no other bedroom. 107 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,064 That's the bathroom. 108 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,400 But the pictures online showed two separate bedrooms. 109 00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:28,302 Ah. Oh, God. They are separate. 110 00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:30,270 They're just on top of each other. 111 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:31,839 Well, we need to get another cabin. 112 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,774 There were no other cabins. 113 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:35,008 Oh. 114 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:36,444 And the deposit is nonrefundable 115 00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:37,945 because it was a last-minute deal. 116 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,313 [ Sighs ] 117 00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:41,014 God. You know, you'd think you could trust 118 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,116 a website called "You Get What You Pay For." 119 00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,519 All right. Look. It was a really long drive. 120 00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:47,254 Let's just figure it out in the morning. 121 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,323 We have two beds. That's the main thing. 122 00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:51,925 Yeah. Let's just unpack all of our stuff later and just relax. 123 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,527 Darlene: Right. 124 00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:57,264 We get to chill in a super-cute room with people we love. 125 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,599 You guys, let's just watch a movie. 126 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,434 Oh, no. No. 127 00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:02,470 I'm on the miracle honeymoon 128 00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:04,104 that no one thought that I'd ever have. 129 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,507 So I think I'd rather watch the movie playing 130 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,542 in my man's eyes. 131 00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:10,210 Don't know how the three of us are gonna get close enough 132 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,646 to see that. 133 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,516 But if you guys need the distraction of the TV, sure. 134 00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:19,219 We just want to be together, and that's enough. 135 00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:22,490 Yeah. Us too. We don't need distractions. 136 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,825 We spend a lot of our time just talking to each other. 137 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:25,959 Oh, you need to talk? 138 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,295 I think that sometimes people need to do that 139 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,531 when they have problems in their relationship. 140 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,133 I talk when it's quiet. 141 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,368 Just -- Just... 142 00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:38,839 No. We don't have to either. 143 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,409 I once spent a whole weekend with my head on Ben's chest 144 00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:43,210 just, like, listening to his heart beat. 145 00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:46,547 Mm-hmm. I thought I was having arrhythmia from my sinus pills. 146 00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,083 But everything we do is super romantic. 147 00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:51,552 Mm-hmm. [ Smooches ] 148 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,086 I got to pee. 149 00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:55,723 Even that. [ Smooches ] 150 00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,025 Aww! That's great. 151 00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:00,193 But have you ever fed Ben cake 152 00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:02,563 in a bathtub filled with champagne? 153 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:05,499 No, because I don't want to get an infection. 154 00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:08,702 Uh, I don't want to interrupt the love talk, 155 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:11,238 but all they have is this bar soap. 156 00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:13,407 Well, that's okay. I love bar soap. 157 00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:14,842 Do you love it used? 158 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,444 'Cause this one has a hair 159 00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:19,613 that goes all the way around it like a ribbon. 160 00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:22,015 All right. Maybe we should just get settled in. 161 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,417 Yeah, yeah. Okay. 162 00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:27,421 Well, why don't you and Ben take the nice cozy loft, 163 00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:29,723 and Neville and I will snuggle up together down here. 164 00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:30,958 Don't worry. 165 00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:32,593 I can control myself for one night. 166 00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:34,194 Although, I don't think anybody 167 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,796 should blame Neville if he can't. 168 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,130 [ Laughs ] 169 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:38,398 Well, if he can't, 170 00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:40,300 just mention that I found the hairy soap 171 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:41,702 sitting on an old, used Band-Aid. 172 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,571 That pretty much shut me down for the night. 173 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:49,042 ** 174 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:53,046 [ Sighs ] Come on. You've been pouting all day. 175 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,948 Is this still about me living with Grandpa? 176 00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:56,750 Don't be a little bitch and ruin our vacation. 177 00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,719 I'm gonna run a bath. 178 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,822 There was a diaper floating alongside me in the lazy river. 179 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,291 It's not always about you. 180 00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,759 [ Water running ] 181 00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,829 I saw this on Instagram while we were driving up. 182 00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:13,333 Okay, so that little jerk Logan 183 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,402 didn't tell you he had a new boyfriend. 184 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,504 What's the big deal? 185 00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,105 I thought you guys split up months ago. 186 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,741 I didn't tell Mom, but we never stopped talking. 187 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,142 We were planning on me going 188 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,744 to live with him in Oklahoma someday. 189 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,513 I didn't know that. 190 00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,247 But you dodged two bullets. 191 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:31,184 He was a bummer and...Oklahoma. 192 00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,921 Oklahoma looks nice in this photo of Logan making out 193 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,122 with someone who's not me. 194 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,626 Well, hey. We g-- We got a mini fridge. 195 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,628 Maybe there's something in there that'll cheer you up. 196 00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,462 You ever had a $12 Twix bar? 197 00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:44,665 Candy isn't gonna help. 198 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,840 What are you doing? That's a beer! Put that back! 199 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,107 No. 200 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,276 Don't kid around. It's on a sensor. 201 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,645 You have 30 seconds to put it back 202 00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:58,779 or they'll know you took it. 203 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,113 I'm not kidding around. 204 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,182 This is gonna make me feel better. 205 00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:09,322 Okay. I know where you're at, but you're too young to drink. 206 00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,291 And I'm gonna catch hell if you do. 207 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,460 Then leave the room, and you're not part of it. 208 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,529 [ Scoffs ] God. You're really gonna do this, huh? 209 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:17,731 Yeah, I am. 210 00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:20,668 All right. Well, here's the deal. 211 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,571 You wanted a big sister who helps get you through things, 212 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:26,206 so that's what we're gonna do. Oh, gee, thanks. 213 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,175 Now you're gonna lecture me about how it's gonna get better 214 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:29,577 and I'm gonna find somebody else. 215 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,745 No. We're gonna drink. 216 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:34,748 You're gonna do this anyway, so it's better you do it with me. 217 00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:37,985 But we're not drinking that low-carb backwash. 218 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,853 Here. 219 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,022 Swap this remote for the tequila. 220 00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:44,858 I brought margarita mix. 221 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,326 Tastes better. More healing power. 222 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,162 You packed margarita mix? 223 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,064 I'm at an indoor water park with my family. 224 00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:52,132 This is what I packed first. 225 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,671 What I said about you not being there for me -- 226 00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:59,039 I take it all back. I love you. 227 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,841 Oh, God. 228 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,443 You're not gonna be that kind of drunk, are you? 229 00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:07,014 ** 230 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,516 I can't fall asleep at 8:00 p.m. 231 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,384 [ Sighs ] 232 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:13,120 Maybe we could see if there's a really boring movie 233 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,388 playing on Neville's eyes. 234 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,628 Hey, do you think that Jackie and Neville 235 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:23,063 are more in love than we are? 236 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,799 No. Why would you say that? 237 00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,134 I don't know. 238 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,702 They're just so giddy around each other. 239 00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,971 Well, look. 240 00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:35,242 We're not giddy people. 241 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,944 You know, I'm from a Nordic background, 242 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,879 and you're shut down emotionally, 243 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:43,083 so we express our love by not showing it. 244 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,985 Yeah. Right. We're not demonstrative. 245 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,119 Yeah. 246 00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:47,755 We don't need to prove to everybody 247 00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:48,956 how much in love we are. 248 00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,257 We just know it. Yeah. 249 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,491 Ah. 250 00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:53,761 Remember that time we held hands at the county fair? 251 00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:55,996 Yeah. That was weird. I felt like an idiot. 252 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,665 Me too. 253 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:00,968 [ Exhales deeply ] 254 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:02,736 Well, but why is it bothering me so much 255 00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,237 that Jackie's trying to prove 256 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,806 that their love is better than ours? 257 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,607 She's being so competitive. 258 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:10,944 Hey, it's apples and oranges. 259 00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:14,447 They're all touchy-feely, and we're all 260 00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:16,183 "Don't be rubbing on me when I wake up." 261 00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:22,422 Mm! [ Laughs ] Night. 262 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,657 Night? 263 00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:24,858 It's our honeymoon. 264 00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,694 Well, yeah, but... 265 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,461 Well, but if you don't do something 266 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,497 on the first night of your honeymoon, it's bad luck. 267 00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:32,132 Where'd you read that? 268 00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,867 The bathroom wall at The Lunch Box. 269 00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:36,003 Just do it. Come on. We'll be really quiet. 270 00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:38,305 Well, are you sure we can be quiet? 271 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:41,174 I mean... I'm kind of a screamer. 272 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,310 Can't make any noise if your mouth is busy. 273 00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:46,013 Ooh! [ Laughs ] 274 00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,883 Neville: [ Laughs ] Jackie! 275 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,152 [ Jackie laughing ] Come on. 276 00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,221 [ Both laughing ] Stop! Stop! 277 00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:55,655 [ Laughs ] 278 00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:57,324 What's that? 279 00:10:57,357 --> 00:11:00,227 [ Metal creaking ] 280 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,699 Oh, my God. Am I hearing what I think I'm hearing? 281 00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:07,735 Yes, you are. 282 00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,569 [ Exhales sharply ] 283 00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:11,638 You know what? I know what this is. 284 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,840 They're trying to prove 285 00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,641 that they're more passionate than we are. 286 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,710 Let's just be really quiet, 287 00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:18,211 and once they see we're not taking the bait, they will stop. 288 00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:19,212 Fine. 289 00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:22,549 [ Creaking continues ] 290 00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:24,684 If you love me, you will hit me with that canoe lamp 291 00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:26,419 and knock me out. 292 00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:29,422 Well, sure, but then who's gonna hit me with the canoe lamp? 293 00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:31,091 ** 294 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,996 You should have seen, Dad. 295 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,665 When that chunky kid and his dad crashed into Beverly Rose 296 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,835 at the end of the slide, she rode the wave like a pro! 297 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:44,271 I heard the kid Augustus Glooped himself 298 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,739 on the next tube ride down. 299 00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,744 Oh! Did you get through to Harris and Mark? 300 00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:52,679 Uh, kind of. 301 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,782 I called, and Harris answered, 302 00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:59,019 "Conner's Insane Asylum. Best place to drop your nuts." 303 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,587 And then Mark laughed hysterically 304 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:03,190 and started singing "Oklahoma!" and they hung up. 305 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,358 Well, I'm glad they're having fun, 306 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,360 but they better get over here for dinner. 307 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,529 "Drop your nuts." That was your mom's joke. 308 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,232 You think the young ones aren't listening, but they are. 309 00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:17,237 ** 310 00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:22,042 I think that album changed my life. 311 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:25,445 Morrissey got me through a lot of breakups. 312 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,047 He's not just sad. 313 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,448 He's also bitter 314 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,183 and occasionally petty and vengeful. 315 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:32,652 That's what spoke to me. 316 00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,988 Me too. 317 00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:37,590 I-I feel like you and I are -- are so close now. 318 00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:39,759 We're sharing something so profound together, 319 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,328 on the same level. 320 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,230 I know. 321 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,598 You know, I've always wanted to get you drunk 322 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,567 and make you listen to Morrissey, 323 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,003 but you just wouldn't have got it until now. 324 00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:51,338 Yeah. 325 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:55,342 Man, when I was 10, I was so shallow. 326 00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:02,950 I was gonna run away when I was 16. 327 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,784 And I heard that album, and... 328 00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:08,588 it made me realize how scary the world was. 329 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,158 Plus, I knew you'd need someone to help get you through it. 330 00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:13,260 You didn't go because of me? 331 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,661 Yeah. 332 00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:18,531 And now I can't leave because you're finally fun. 333 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,167 You think I'm fun? 334 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,536 That means we're friends! [ Sobs ] 335 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:26,539 Yeah. Yeah. There's tissues in the bathroom. 336 00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,609 Oh. [ Water squishing ] 337 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,345 Oh, God. I cried so much the rug's wet. 338 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:36,283 Crap. How long ago did I turn on the bathtub? 339 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,519 [ Water running, knock on door ] 340 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,721 Everything is overflowing. Where do I throw up? 341 00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:43,656 The sink. Newbie. 342 00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:45,392 Dan: Open the door! 343 00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:51,131 Oh, hey, man. What's up? 344 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,633 What the hell's going on in there? 345 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,369 The front desk called and said the room below you is flooding. 346 00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,338 Yeah. Even the -- the rooms are water rides. 347 00:13:58,371 --> 00:13:59,739 It's a really great hotel. 348 00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,541 Okay. Be right over in a minute. 349 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,076 [ Knock on door ] 350 00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:04,744 Take the chain off the door 351 00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:06,980 or stand back and I'll do it myself! 352 00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:09,182 Uh, a-all right. It'll just take a-a second. 353 00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:12,685 The chain is stuck. It's super weird. 354 00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,854 [ Bottle thuds ] 355 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,289 Hey. 356 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,927 Oh. I'm gonna need yours, too. 357 00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:23,830 That's weird. [ Water squishing ] 358 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,765 Our fridge only had alcohol. 359 00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:30,437 Yours is filled with shoes... and a clock. 360 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,372 You guys were drinking straight tequila? 361 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:35,608 Who do you think I am? Of course not! 362 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,010 I brought a mix. 363 00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:39,212 Mark doesn't drink. 364 00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:41,714 And trust me, you don't start with tequila. 365 00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:45,052 Ah. From what I saw in there, he knows that now. 366 00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:48,421 Okay. Everybody pack up. 367 00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:50,623 I don't want to get hit for the damages. 368 00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:52,859 I'll grab Mark. Oh! 369 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,061 And grab those puffy hangers. 370 00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,262 I told Louise I'd bring her a gift. 371 00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,432 [ Metal creaking ] 372 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,870 [ Whispering ] We've got to do something! 373 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:07,440 I don't know what you just said, but we have got to do something. 374 00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:09,642 I really don't want to get involved 375 00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:12,379 in a conversation with them about this. 376 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:15,415 Oh, I know, right? It's so awkward. 377 00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,917 I guess she's just trying to make the best of her honeymoon. 378 00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:21,554 Heard her make the best of it three times already. 379 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:22,956 [ Sighs ] 380 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:26,059 Maybe we should cough, and then they'll realize 381 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,128 we're actually awake and get the hint. 382 00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,596 [ Creaking continues ] 383 00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,965 [ Clears throat ] [ Coughs ] 384 00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:33,400 [ Creaking continues ] 385 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,235 [ Coughs loudly ] [ Coughs loudly ] 386 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,737 [ Creaking continues ] 387 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,539 All right. They're not going for subtle. 388 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,945 [ Bag thuds ] 389 00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:48,848 Jackie: What's your problem? Go back to sleep! 390 00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:51,651 Uh, we haven't been to sleep. We can hear everything. 391 00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:54,087 Well, I'm sorry, but it's our honeymoon. 392 00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:57,590 Our love is so strong, we just got caught up in the moment. 393 00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,693 The moment? It's been an hour of giggling and squeaking. 394 00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,795 I think I heard crying at one point. 395 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:06,266 Oh, that was me. I got a foot cramp. 396 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,368 [ Whispering ] Not really. I was just so happy. 397 00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,470 You're just jealous because clearly 398 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,772 there's more excitement in our relationship. 399 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:16,343 Then be excited in the bathroom with a towel under the door 400 00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:18,111 or outside in the woods. 401 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,647 I mean, what kind of freaks are you? 402 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,316 And who said, "Poke me with your pitchfork, devil"? 403 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,218 That's none of your business. 404 00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:27,787 And what kind of freaks are you, listening for an hour? 405 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:28,988 Okay. You know what? Look. 406 00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:31,991 This conversation is going nowhere good, 407 00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:33,693 and neither is this honeymoon. All right. You know what? 408 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:34,794 Let's just leave. I'm gonna call an Uber. 409 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,363 Yeah. Good. 410 00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:38,565 Because you obviously can't handle a real loving couple. 411 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:39,799 I'm glad you're going. 412 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,634 Yeah, because now you can leave the door open 413 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,036 and give the raccoons a show. 414 00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:45,738 Raccoons have seen it all. They're not gonna -- 415 00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,740 And never mind. You're being sarcastic. 416 00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,709 ** 417 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,148 Becky: It takes a lot longer to drive back when you have to stop 418 00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:57,150 every 10 minutes so Mark can lean out the window 419 00:16:57,184 --> 00:17:00,720 and spread sunshine all over the place. 420 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:03,356 I'm sorry. I've never been this sick. 421 00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:04,857 I'll get to you in a minute. 422 00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:07,527 I didn't want to yell in front of the kid, 423 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,862 but what the hell were you thinking, letting Mark drink? 424 00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:11,331 He's got a bright future 425 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,733 and a liver we're all gonna need a piece of. 426 00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:15,202 [ Door opens ] 427 00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:17,104 What happened to the side of the car? 428 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:18,705 You guys sideswipe a deer? 429 00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:22,275 And what's wrong with Mark? 430 00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:25,512 Your kids went all Hunter S. Thompson in their hotel room. 431 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,114 Huge drinking binge. 432 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,881 And they flooded the place. 433 00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:30,550 Why are you guys back? 434 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,419 Oh, a couple wild animals got into the room, 435 00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:34,154 and apparently it was mating season. 436 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,157 Could you guys give us a second? 437 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,895 What the hell were you guys thinking? 438 00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:45,365 And why are you drinking all of a sudden? 439 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,900 I still care about Logan, 440 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:49,902 and I saw that he has a new boyfriend 441 00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:51,804 and that he's forgotten about me. 442 00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:54,073 So Harris and I got drunk. 443 00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,143 Okay. Look. I-I'm sorry about that. 444 00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:58,278 But having your heart broken doesn't mean 445 00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,580 you get to be self-destructive and irresponsible. 446 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,415 Look, I know we've modeled nothing else, 447 00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:05,152 but still, you have seen good families on TV. 448 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,819 Go easy on him. 449 00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,821 He could have done a lot worse things 450 00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:10,657 than drinking and flooding a bathroom. 451 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:14,427 Listen. This is totally unacceptable, okay? 452 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,663 You are grounded for two weeks, and you have no phone. 453 00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,765 Please don't take my phone. No. 454 00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,733 We need it to stage photos of him on Instagram 455 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,935 looking like he's doing great after Logan dumped him. 456 00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:24,304 All right. Then we'll take your phone. 457 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:25,838 I'm taking somebody's phone. 458 00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:28,308 It's not her fault. I was gonna do it anyway. 459 00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:30,443 She was just trying to be a friend. 460 00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:33,146 Wow. Sticking up for each other. That's new. 461 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:38,151 Okay. This one time, all right? 462 00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:39,519 You're still grounded for two weeks, 463 00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:40,687 but you can have the phone. 464 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,322 But this better never happen again, okay? 465 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:45,358 Thank you. Can we go listen to music? 466 00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:47,794 There's an album I want to throw up to. 467 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:54,167 That's it? That's all you're gonna do? 468 00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:56,269 Are you sure you don't want to buy him a bottle of wine 469 00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:58,338 to celebrate their new friendship? 470 00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,340 There's a bigger picture here, Becky. 471 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,342 They finally have a relationship. 472 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,511 If that took a couple of drinks one time 473 00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:06,379 to get that to happen, then so be it. 474 00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:09,148 ** 475 00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:11,318 Hey. 476 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,520 What are you doing back so soon? 477 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:16,523 Um, after you left, they found out the loft was empty, 478 00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:18,358 and they booked somebody else into it. 479 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:22,662 But I brought some stuff you guys left. 480 00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:23,996 Sweater. Toothbrush. 481 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:26,032 Oh, and your prudish attitude 482 00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:29,469 about making love in the same room as a relative. 483 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,304 Why were you trying so hard 484 00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,673 to prove that you're a better couple than us? 485 00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:36,343 How can you even ask me that after all the hurtful things 486 00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,345 you said about me going on a honeymoon 487 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,213 and how nobody would ever want to be with me? 488 00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:42,215 That's how the Conners show love. 489 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:45,051 We find each other's emotional wounds and we pour salt in. 490 00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:47,153 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No. I know all that. 491 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,589 Aunt Jackie's a lunatic. Aunt Jackie's a screw-up. 492 00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:53,025 How could Aunt Jackie ever find somebody to love her? 493 00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:55,695 I've dealt with those issues my whole life. 494 00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:58,030 I don't need to hear it from you and the rest of the family. 495 00:19:58,064 --> 00:19:59,466 I deserve better. 496 00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:03,570 You do. 497 00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:08,441 Maybe I just saw how happy you and Neville were 498 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,377 from the moment you got together. 499 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,779 You know, Ben and I had so many ups and downs 500 00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,914 before we got married, and I guess I just... 501 00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:17,049 felt a little insecure. 502 00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,419 Well, maybe I did try a little too hard 503 00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:23,456 to -- to show that Neville and I are crazy in love. 504 00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:24,691 Yep. 505 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,359 [ Chuckles ] 506 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:30,763 Well, it was a long road to healthy relationships 507 00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,765 for both of us, but hey, we made it! 508 00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:34,534 Yeah, we did. 509 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,969 [ Laughs ] 510 00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:40,573 All right. So be real with me. 511 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:44,577 Were you guys really going at it for an hour, 512 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,713 or were you just making noises to impress us? 513 00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,881 Actually, it was longer. 514 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:51,418 I put a pillow over his face for the first part, 515 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:54,020 but that was just partially for your benefit. 516 00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:57,490 Uh, j-- My fault for asking. 517 00:20:57,524 --> 00:20:58,458 Okay. We can... 518 00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:04,230 Why do I have to wash the car now? 519 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:07,199 My head is killing me. That's exactly why. 520 00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:14,307 How you feeling, buddy?! 521 00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:16,309 Don't do that. [ Laughs ] 522 00:21:16,343 --> 00:21:17,910 Ben, cut him a break. 523 00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,112 Mark, this might make you feel better. 524 00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,915 It's one of those funny videos of the goats that you like. 525 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,184 [ Goat screaming ] 526 00:21:25,217 --> 00:21:27,754 [ Laughs ] 527 00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:30,523 -- Captions by VITA --