1 00:00:01,293 --> 00:00:03,128 ♪♪ 2 00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:04,129 [ Sighs ] 3 00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:06,965 Hey, honey, you're home early. 4 00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:10,219 Wait. You finally realized that being a stay-at-home wife 5 00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:11,512 and taking care of your man 6 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:14,056 is the greatest satisfaction a woman can have. 7 00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,557 [ Chuckles ] 8 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,017 Yeah, you guessed it. 9 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,102 Now, sit down and enjoy your arsenic. 10 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,439 But what are you doing home? 11 00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:25,526 Oh, the owners of Casita Bonita weren't taking me 12 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904 and the other employees seriously about unionizing. 13 00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,989 So, after lunch, we walked out. 14 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,658 Good for you. Yeah. 15 00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:36,036 And they know that we're not gonna budge off of our demands, 16 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,830 so I think they're gonna buckle like an old pilgrim's shoe. 17 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,125 Huh. Was one of your demands 18 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,086 that you want more archaic references? 19 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:48,048 Did you ask for an extra fortnight of vacation 20 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,051 and, uh, increased medical coverage 21 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,928 for vapors and bad humors? 22 00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:55,013 [ Laughter ] 23 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:58,016 Your contumely is not appreciated, 24 00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,893 you gormless troglodyte. 25 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,603 Oh! [ Laughs ] 26 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,063 Smart people. 27 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,273 I don't think we've ever had two of them 28 00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:05,315 in the house at the same time. 29 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:08,068 Don't you worry, young missy, 30 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,903 we'll bring 'em down to our level. 31 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,489 We're gonna make them watch "Parking Wars"! 32 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:13,949 Isn't it just a show about people 33 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:15,617 fighting over parking spots? 34 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:16,785 Just? 35 00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:18,203 [ Scoffs ] What more do you want? 36 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,456 You guys -- You guys missed it. 37 00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:24,209 Some idiot in a big SUV just took a tight compact space. 38 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,461 Now he can't open his doors. He's trapped. 39 00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,048 No, he's not. No, he's not. Uh-oh. 40 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:30,924 He's squeezing out through the moonroof. 41 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,426 Uh-oh. 42 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,386 His kid is closing the moonroof. 43 00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:35,596 Look at his eyes bulge. [ Laughs ] 44 00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:38,765 Ben: Hey. 45 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:41,977 Is everything okay? 46 00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:44,354 Uh, it's my job. 47 00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:45,981 Dammit, I knew this was gonna happen. 48 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:46,982 They let you go? 49 00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:48,317 Uh, no. 50 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,486 I got promoted again. 51 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:52,863 Alright! Whoa! 52 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:55,073 Well, that's great! 53 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:56,575 I guess when you're not used to good news, 54 00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,660 you don't know what to do with your face. 55 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:01,121 No. Look, I'm happy it's more money, 56 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,374 but now I'm the VP of Public Relations. 57 00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,710 Oh, my God. 58 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:09,171 I am so sorry. 59 00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:10,672 I assume everyone else there died. 60 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:15,010 No, but that is the first thing I checked. 61 00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:17,429 I'm really happy for you, Darlene. 62 00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:19,723 Forgive me if I don't jump up and down, 63 00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:23,435 but I just walked out over 75 more cents an hour 64 00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,020 and a hand-washing station in the kitchen. 65 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:30,192 That sucks, Louise, and I'm sure I seem like an ungrateful jerk, 66 00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:32,569 but I don't know why they picked me for this job. 67 00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:33,987 I know why they picked you. 68 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,697 Because it's funny when people who look like children 69 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,157 say adult things. 70 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:42,412 No, because she's working class, she's a mom raising a family, 71 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,164 and people are more likely to listen to her 72 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,957 than some slick, corporate guy. 73 00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:48,835 Yeah, I get that, but I've never done anything like this. 74 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,462 Ah, just do what men do. 75 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,798 Take the job regardless of being qualified 76 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:55,258 and you stay around long enough until you harass somebody, 77 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:56,802 and then they move you up in the company. 78 00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:07,396 ♪♪ 79 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:16,738 ♪♪ 80 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,741 -- Captions by VITAC -- 81 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:20,951 "The Conners" is recorded 82 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,077 in front of a live studio audience. 83 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,164 Hey! You get a promotion like Darlene? 84 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,876 'Cause that's the face, right? 85 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,545 No. 86 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:34,464 The owners of Casita Bonita closed it for good. 87 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,882 The doors are padlocked. 88 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:36,883 I'm outta work. 89 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,553 Oh, wow, that's crazy. 90 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,389 I might have told a few people about that soap thing. 91 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,099 It wasn't about that, was it? 92 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,727 Did another cat give birth in the oven? 93 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,396 No. 94 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,189 They said they can't afford a union wage 95 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:54,109 because the cost of food has gone up so much. 96 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:58,196 Nobody wants to pay $16 for a burrito that's mostly potatoes. 97 00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,824 Hey, I'm gonna miss that place. 98 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,617 It's where you and I found each other again. 99 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:05,871 Yeah. We had our first dates there. 100 00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:07,539 I'm gonna miss it, too. 101 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:10,667 And Beverly Rose was conceived in the freezer there. 102 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,794 Can't find a romantic way to spin that. 103 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,255 To Casita Bonita. 104 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,299 Aww. Yeah. Yeah. 105 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:19,676 Ah. I just lost my wife's income, 106 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,219 so I'm gonna need a couple more of these. 107 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,054 Anyone? Well, I just found out 108 00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,431 my buddy lost his wife's income, 109 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,725 so I'm gonna drink with him so he's not sad. 110 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:32,147 You know, Jackie, um, I'm -- 111 00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:34,941 I'm gonna be looking for another restaurant position. 112 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,652 Oh, that's gonna be a challenge. Good luck with that. 113 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:39,988 I know that we had our ups and downs 114 00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:41,198 when I first joined the family. 115 00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,491 Oh, man, did we. 116 00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,951 But I-I feel like we're in a really good place now. 117 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,036 Do you? Good for you. 118 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,539 Jackie, she wants a job. 119 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,374 Do you mind? 120 00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:53,710 Yeah, I want a job. 121 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,295 And it's a great idea. 122 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:59,216 I have all this experience, I can work any shift you need, 123 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:02,219 and we're family, so you can trust me. 124 00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,428 Timing's right. 125 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,472 My only other server's part-time now 126 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,766 because she's working on her "psychology degree," 127 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,559 which is causing problems. 128 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:13,146 Uh, the "other server" wants to know what problems. 129 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:17,567 Last week, you psychoanalyzed everybody based on their order. 130 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,821 What is it about a tuna melt that makes you a narcissist? 131 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,489 [ Laughs ] Everything. 132 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:27,035 And I supposed you believe that people order a hot dog 133 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,954 just because they want a hot dog. 134 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,206 It has nothing to do with their father. 135 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,959 Here's something I've been thinking about. 136 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:37,212 I've always wanted to try the "Buy a beer, 137 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:39,631 and if the Bears win, it's free" scam. 138 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:43,218 Oh, wow. Wow. I never thought of that. 139 00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:46,805 [ Laughs ] Well, you must have at least done the drinking game, 140 00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:50,475 where the customers do a shot every time the Bears fumble. 141 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:53,228 As soon as they get the ball, I start pouring. 142 00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:56,356 Look at you with all the ideas. 143 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,525 Finally, a server who understands 144 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,861 the hospitality business. 145 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:05,782 I'm not just a server. 146 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,284 I-I was a manager. 147 00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:10,036 Okay, well, maybe you could work for five minutes 148 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,121 before we start talking titles. 149 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:17,544 I'm just saying, I-I worked all these years to become a manager. 150 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:18,795 Uh-huh. 151 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,589 Hey, I got an idea for a drinking game, too. 152 00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,842 We'll all take a shot every time you say "manager." 153 00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:26,386 [ Laughs ] 154 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,055 ♪♪ 155 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,600 Ah. It's nice Wellman's shelling out a couple bucks 156 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,351 for Beverly Rose's school. 157 00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,604 Do I look like the head of PR? 158 00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,355 You look like a shaky little Chihuahua, 159 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,899 but you always look like that. 160 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,276 I'm bored. 161 00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:44,070 How much longer do I have to stand here? 162 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:47,240 We're trying to be supportive of Aunt Darlene. 163 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,159 Believe me, I know it's hard. 164 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,498 Thank you for coming. 165 00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:59,586 Uh, I am very proud to be representing Wellman Plastics 166 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:04,174 as we donate a year's supply of utensils, plates, and cups 167 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:07,093 to Lanford Public School's free breakfast program. 168 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,054 [ Applause ] 169 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,268 Hi, there. I'm Jimmie Pike from the "Lanford Gazette." 170 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,187 Oh. Did I blink in that photo? 171 00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:19,064 I always do that, but it's worse 172 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,148 when I try to keep 'em wide open. 173 00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:23,193 I look like Japanese anime. 174 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,779 I just want to know, is this event to distract 175 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:28,782 from the accusations from an anonymous whistleblower 176 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,951 that Wellman is polluting the groundwater in Lanford? 177 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,787 What? 178 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,830 Uh -- I don't know anything about that. 179 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,957 Company has no comment. 180 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,084 No, no. No, no. 181 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,044 I-I can't comment 182 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:44,214 'cause I really haven't heard anything about that. 183 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:47,008 You can ask me anything you want about the placemats 184 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:49,344 and the forks and the knives for the children. 185 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:52,097 Okay, is the toxic runoff from making the knives 186 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,765 and the forks for the children 187 00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,351 killing the children? 188 00:07:56,351 --> 00:08:00,021 Here at Wellman, we have a strict policy 189 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,856 against killing children. 190 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:04,067 Write that down. 191 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:08,029 Company thinks destroying the environment is funny. 192 00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,074 Come on, Jimmie, give me a break. 193 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,951 This is my first day. 194 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:15,787 Look, I'll ask my bosses about it and then we can talk later, okay? 195 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,622 You take bad photos, 196 00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,207 you don't know how to do your job. 197 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,750 I'm looking forward to it. 198 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,044 ♪♪ 199 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,674 This feels very weird. 200 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,260 I asked for a meeting, not like a big fancy dinner. 201 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:31,886 Well, I don't think it's weird. 202 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,722 I mean, this is how executives do things. 203 00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,348 And, you know, they can write this whole thing off. 204 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,559 Lobster mashed potatoes?! That's fantastic! 205 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:42,897 In nature, those two things would never meet. 206 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,524 Just don't talk a lot. 207 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,861 Hey. Hey, Darlene. Good to see you. 208 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,446 Hi, Mr. Wellman. 209 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,156 Ben. Hi. 210 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:54,492 Wow. This is all so nice, 211 00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:57,245 but it wasn't necessary for you to take us out to dinner. 212 00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,956 Well, Bella and I just wanted to celebrate your promotion, 213 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,624 and go over the plan to publicize 214 00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,418 our commitment to the community. 215 00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,086 Oh, that's great. 216 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,213 Um, and -- and like I said in my e-mail, 217 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,923 I just want to know if there's anything 218 00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:10,675 to what this reporter was talking about? 219 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,260 Absolutely not. 220 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,220 They're just fishing for a story. 221 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,431 We've done studies, and they all come back clean. 222 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,475 Oh. Hear that? Water's clean. 223 00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:19,976 Let's celebrate with some oysters? 224 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:26,483 The doctor gave me vitamins. 225 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,526 I have a condition where I need to be happier. 226 00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,994 [ Raspy ] I find they absorb better with Chardonnay. 227 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:44,167 Well, um, those studies make me feel a lot better. 228 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,419 So, if we are not contaminating anything, 229 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,088 would you mind just telling the press that? 230 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:51,508 That's exactly what you are gonna do. 231 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,551 Those are the dates for your media tour, 232 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,887 a list of, uh, difficult questions you might encounter, 233 00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:58,598 and the talking points we'd like you to stick to. 234 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,767 Okay. Yeah. 235 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:04,479 Looks like there's some very vague things you want me to say. 236 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:07,148 "As a mom with two kids, I trust the Wellman family 237 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,566 to do what's right for our community. 238 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,610 We know we can live well with Wellman." 239 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,278 Well, a little stiff and awkward, 240 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,322 but that's how a real person would read it. 241 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,118 Yeah, I mean, that's -- that's what we want, 242 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,619 somebody from the community. 243 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,496 I mean, we all live in the same town. 244 00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:24,666 Your, uh, media tour starts in about a week. 245 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,459 You'll do great. 246 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,962 Dress in that lumberjack thing you usually do 247 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,756 and whatever's happening up there with your hair, 248 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:32,549 just keep doing it. 249 00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:37,262 I'm going to the restroom. 250 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:40,140 Would you mind escorting me while these two talk business? 251 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,518 When the Chard hits my vitamins, I get a little wobbly. 252 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,604 That's understandable. 253 00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,189 Those vitamins have killed a lot of rockstars. 254 00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:53,361 No, I think it's best if I escort you, my precious angel. 255 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,656 Here we go. Excuse us. 256 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,493 [ Scoffs ] 257 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:03,204 This is all corporate double-speak. 258 00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:05,832 Something about this does not feel right. 259 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:09,210 Look, is there anyone that's been at the company a long time 260 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,254 and knows Bill Wellman enough to tell you 261 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:13,173 whether you can trust him or not? 262 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,966 Well, yeah. There's Robin, 263 00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,926 but I don't want her to think I can't handle this job. 264 00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:19,179 Oh, well, I think we've established 265 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:22,348 you can't handle the job, but look... 266 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:25,143 you trust Robin and see what she thinks. 267 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,436 Huh. 268 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:29,147 Did you know that your Wellman shampoo bottle 269 00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:31,566 will be recycled into playground equipment 270 00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,610 in slide-less communities? 271 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,445 Thank God for this company. 272 00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:36,946 I'm getting truffle fries for the table. 273 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,200 ♪♪ 274 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,826 So, how do you like working here? 275 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:45,538 Well, I know everybody. I know the menu. 276 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,123 I feel like I've been working here forever. 277 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,625 [ Chuckles ] Me, too, 278 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,168 but in a way that makes me want to 279 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,461 slam my face into this cake. 280 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:57,383 So, how do you like my ideas for bringing in more business? 281 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,344 They're all the changes that those idiots 282 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,471 at Casita Bonita wouldn't even listen to. 283 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:04,515 I'm glad somebody's bringing in fresh ideas. 284 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,392 There haven't been any since I lost interest. 285 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,021 [ Chuckles ] 286 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:13,233 Clearly, she's forgotten about Stew-mendous Mondays, 287 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:16,653 uh, Stew Year's Eve, and Stew-Paul's Drag Race. 288 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,446 [ Chuckles ] 289 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:21,658 You know, as much as people love stew puns... 290 00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,243 [ Laughs ] 291 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,370 ...there's a whole menu of stuff here we can promote. 292 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,537 Yeah. 293 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:28,081 Yeah, but we're mostly about the stew. 294 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,291 Mm, that's your problem. 295 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,043 You need some high margin items, 296 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:34,671 like a-a fried chicken platter or skirt steak. 297 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,130 Okay, okay. 298 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,925 Well, if you think the average Midwestern working type 299 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,135 is gonna want, uh, fried chicken and steak, that's -- 300 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,136 that's -- that's great. 301 00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,846 Yeah, we'll roll the dice. 302 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:49,143 Hey. How's it going with Louise? 303 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:52,689 Um, well, I think she's starting to feel very comfortable here. 304 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,774 Not afraid to use her voice. 305 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,402 Hey, Robin. Hey, Jackie. 306 00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,028 Um, I love your new Bears promotion. 307 00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,738 Yeah. Yeah, genius. 308 00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,573 And I'm the idiot who never thought of it. 309 00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:05,994 Still hates herself, I see. 310 00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,122 Well, thanks for coming. Mm. 311 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:12,458 Well, I'm always happy to, uh, drive across town, 312 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:15,586 where it's convenient for you. 313 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:19,674 So, you said you wanted to pick my brain, so have at it. 314 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,009 Thanks. 315 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:24,512 Um, is Bill Wellman a lying scumbag? 316 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,389 Well, let me ask you this first. 317 00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:28,016 Is this for the company newsletter 318 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:31,144 or a birthday cake or what? 319 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:34,105 No, I-I was at my first PR event, 320 00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:36,691 and this reporter told me that an anonymous whistleblower 321 00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:39,193 said that Wellman is polluting the groundwater, 322 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,404 but Bill tells me that we have studies 323 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:43,072 that say that's not true. 324 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,450 Well, that's interesting. 325 00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,204 That's not an answer. 326 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,457 I know. I'm being evasive. 327 00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:55,043 Come on. Is he a liar? 328 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:58,629 Well, as your fellow employee at Wellman, I'd say no. 329 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:01,632 But as the anonymous whistleblower, 330 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:03,134 I'd have to say yes. 331 00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,513 What? Why didn't you tell me that? 332 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:11,392 Look, in my defense, never in my wildest dreams 333 00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,102 did I think they'd make you someone important. 334 00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,898 Okay, but how can you still work there 335 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,316 knowing they're polluting our water? 336 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:20,568 Because I like to eat and live indoors. 337 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,280 And I'm only a year away from getting a pension. 338 00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:26,699 Oh, my God. 339 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,451 Well, now, what am I gonna do? 340 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:31,829 Well, for starters, when you're taking a shower, 341 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,165 always keep your mouth closed. 342 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:38,377 ♪♪ 343 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:39,921 Dammit. 344 00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,255 The company picked me to be their stooge 345 00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:43,174 because they know I can't afford to quit. 346 00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:46,594 And they're right, but if this is too much for you, 347 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:49,013 we'll figure something out. How? 348 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,515 I won't get unemployment, 349 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:51,724 the kids and I won't have health insurance. 350 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,309 We can't lose that. 351 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,937 I had like a month worth of rainy-day money saved up, 352 00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,397 and then I stopped for gas and bought groceries. 353 00:14:58,397 --> 00:14:59,941 Now we got like six hours. 354 00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,528 Well, I say we get a pizza, see a movie, 355 00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:04,987 and just go out in a blaze of glory. 356 00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:10,368 Have you thought about asking for your old job back? 357 00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:12,161 Yeah, maybe I should do that. 358 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,539 I'd still know the company's wrecking the environment, 359 00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:16,999 but it would buy me some time to find a new job. 360 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,209 What if they won't? 361 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,419 Well, then I have to try to get myself fired. 362 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,922 You know, then at least, I could get unemployment. 363 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,258 Yeah, just grab Robin's ass and they'll get rid of you 364 00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,844 for creating a hostile workplace. 365 00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:29,428 That won't work. 366 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,638 Everybody already thinks we're a couple. 367 00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:35,184 Well, visually, it makes more sense than you and Ben. 368 00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:39,272 ♪♪ 369 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,691 Made any decisions about expanding the menu? 370 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:44,068 No. Not yet. Nope. Still thinking about it. 371 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,445 Okay. 372 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,364 How about, uh, changing the website? 373 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:49,824 It's impossible to use. 374 00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:51,868 No. It's not. It's simple. 375 00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:55,538 Right now, you look at a picture of the food, you click on it. 376 00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:58,249 That takes you the old website that has the menu, 377 00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,835 you look at what you want, you go back to the new website, 378 00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:03,296 type in what you want and how many, 379 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,505 and then you give us a call 380 00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,757 to make sure we're not out of anything, 381 00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,551 you solve the riddle at the checkout page 382 00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:11,220 for a free slice of cheesecake, and you're done. 383 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,346 Just... 384 00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:15,266 a drunken monkey could do it. 385 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:17,185 You have to stop dragging your feet. 386 00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:20,146 I'm not dragging my feet. I'm thinking. 387 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,689 Hey, what's the code to the bathroom? 388 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:23,316 What code? 389 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,484 Uh, I put a code lock on the bathroom door 390 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,987 so non-customers couldn't just wander in here 391 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:28,988 and use the restroom. 392 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,615 This is a family restaurant. 393 00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:33,367 Everybody who comes through that door, I consider family. 394 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,493 Yeah, this feels like a discussion 395 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,037 you should have after I get the code. 396 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,165 1-1-1-2. 397 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,958 Oh, that's great. Oh, that -- 398 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:43,211 O-Okay, a long list of random numbers 399 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:46,172 that's gonna be impossible to remember. 400 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,506 So, I can't believe -- 401 00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,759 Why did you do something like that without asking me? 402 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:53,387 I did it because every time I ask you to make a decision, 403 00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:54,639 you get paralyzed. 404 00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:56,265 No, that's not true. 405 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,309 That's not -- See? Moving! 406 00:16:58,309 --> 00:16:59,852 Moving! 407 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,812 Come on, Jackie. 408 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:05,066 You can't make any decisions, even if they're good for you, 409 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:06,275 like -- like the website. 410 00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,027 Like landing on one career. 411 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,654 Like finally dating my brother. 412 00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:11,864 Look, I'm -- I'm only trying to help you. 413 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,366 I don't need your help! 414 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,160 Stop telling me how to live my life, Roseanne! 415 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,498 Oh, my God. 416 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,042 That was an actual Freudian slip! 417 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,754 You read about it in textbooks, 418 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:29,924 but you never think you're gonna see one in person. 419 00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,050 Could you get all unhinged again? 420 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,635 I wanna record it for class. 421 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,182 Uh, excuse me, Mr. Wellman. 422 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,767 Can we talk? Yeah, sure, sure. 423 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,394 What can I do for you, Darlene? 424 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,897 Um, look, I really appreciate the promotion, 425 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,900 but I would like to go back to my old job managing the line. 426 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,403 I'm just not comfortable being a public speaker. 427 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,489 Everyone feels that way at first. Stick with it. 428 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:56,534 You'll find your own voice using the words we provide for you. 429 00:17:56,534 --> 00:18:00,496 Uh, Mr. Wellman, I'm having a lot of anxiety. 430 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:03,249 I really need to do this. Well, I'm sorry, Darlene, 431 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,585 but your old job has already been filled. 432 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,212 If you don't want the promotion, I guess you'll have to quit. 433 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:11,716 Okay. 434 00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,801 Um, if you don't fire me, I'm gonna go to the press 435 00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,928 because I found out the truth about the groundwater. 436 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:18,097 You do that and we will sue you and your family 437 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,223 for everything you're worth. 438 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,349 [ Scoffs ] 439 00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,436 What else you got? 440 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,855 My family's been preparing for this moment for years. 441 00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,316 Okay, well, how about this? 442 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:31,694 You go to the press, and I will bury you in legal debt so deep, 443 00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:34,864 it'll keep your kids broke for the rest of their lives. 444 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,660 Okay. I quit. 445 00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:44,540 Oh, please don't accept my resignation for two hours. 446 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,208 I gotta go to the dentist and the eye doctor 447 00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:48,085 and see if I can squeeze in a colonoscopy. 448 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,547 ♪♪ 449 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,382 So, we should talk. 450 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,802 Not if you're gonna scream at me. 451 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,220 Sorry. 452 00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,598 Um, today, when you were telling me 453 00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:04,644 that I couldn't run my own life, suddenly, I was eight again, 454 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,772 and I was baking a cupcake in my Easy-Bake Oven, 455 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:10,274 and I could hear Roseanne saying, 456 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,442 "No, you're doing it all wrong. 457 00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:12,735 Now I have to do it all for you." 458 00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,445 And then my mom would come in and say, 459 00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:15,821 "Don't upset Roseanne --" 460 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,240 I don't think you're incompetent, Jackie, 461 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,993 and I just got upset because you were dismissing me. 462 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,620 I only wanted to help. 463 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:24,372 Well, it's the way you helped. 464 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,123 Roseanne never listened to me. 465 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:28,542 She never cared about anything I had to say. 466 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:31,087 Well, I care about what you have to say, 467 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,089 because I know how that feels. 468 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,966 The owners at Casita Bonita would ignore me 469 00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:39,136 every time I tried to suggest anything. 470 00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:42,014 I thought you would at least appreciate my ideas. 471 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,392 Oh, I do. I do appreciate your ideas. 472 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:47,812 You just have to express them in a way that I can... 473 00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:49,063 pretend they're mine. 474 00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:50,231 That's all. 475 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,360 Wow. 476 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,237 Where do you come up with stuff like that? 477 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:57,571 Yeah. I don't know. I-I -- 478 00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:00,533 I don't even analyze it, you know? 479 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,452 You know, later on, we will go grab a glass of wine, 480 00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,871 and I'll give you some other stuff you're gonna come up with. 481 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,457 Oh, you mean like ideas I've already had? 482 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,042 Still ahead of me. 483 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,127 [ Chuckles ] 484 00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:12,837 You guys work everything out? 485 00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:14,588 'Cause I was worried about you. 486 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:17,591 Aw, don't worry, Becky. I started dinner. 487 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:20,594 She thinks I'm her sister, you think I'm your cook. 488 00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,722 Not just that. 489 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,098 You're also the nice lady 490 00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:25,766 we're gonna dump our dad on when he's old. 491 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,143 Yeah. 492 00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:28,853 Which is... 493 00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,062 now. 494 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,984 Well... 495 00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:35,985 I did it. 496 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:36,944 Quit my job. 497 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,029 Ooh. Okay. 498 00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,781 Let's see what I taught you. 499 00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,533 Dentist? Check. 500 00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:44,326 Lady parts doctor? 501 00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:45,369 Check. 502 00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,580 Upstairs and downstairs? 503 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:48,622 Check, and grow up. 504 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,501 I'm gonna be in my bed for the next week. 505 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,336 Please take care of my children, 506 00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,630 or, you know, sell them at a fair price. 507 00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:57,882 ♪♪ 508 00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,179 Why can't I be the manager? 'Cause I'm the manager. 509 00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,555 I don't need another manager. 510 00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:07,850 But you're the owner. So I-I should be the manager. 511 00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:09,518 I like being the manager. 512 00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:11,270 Yeah, but if I'm the manager, 513 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,647 it takes the pressure off you being the manager. 514 00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:17,151 Mom, Mom, two more shots. Mnh-mnh. 515 00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:19,195 She was out after the first five "managers." 516 00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:22,865 Jackie: Oh, maybe you could be co-manager. 517 00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:24,200 I'll allow it.