1
00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:03,670
♪♪

2
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,589
How's the job hunt
going, Mom?

3
00:00:05,589 --> 00:00:07,007
Slow.
It's the first time

4
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,259
I've ever applied
for managerial positions.

5
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,136
The jobs I used to look for
just asked

6
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:12,721
if I've ever been
to prison

7
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:16,225
and to click on all the squares
that have stop signs in 'em.

8
00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:17,476
Well, I'd be careful
about putting all

9
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,728
that personal information
out there, Darlene.

10
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:22,981
What if you're sending your
résumé to some nefarious creep

11
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:25,150
lurking on
the Dark Web?

12
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,361
Well,
if Thanos is looking

13
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:30,197
for a mid-level minion
and he promotes from within,

14
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:32,407
I'd at least like
to be considered.

15
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,409
I'm gonna
go get everybody.

16
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:35,827
Have you gotten
any responses yet?

17
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:38,163
You know, just the usual
first wave of rejections,

18
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,457
but that happens when you apply
for a lot of jobs.

19
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,834
Sorry. All that rejection
must really hurt.

20
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:45,128
I mean, I don't know,
'cause I got my Whole Foods job

21
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,380
10 minutes
after I applied.

22
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,969
Grandpa.
That's for everybody.

23
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,553
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize

24
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,597
we were in the middle
of a famine.

25
00:00:57,975 --> 00:00:59,434
Well, did you
get a job yet?

26
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,812
Not since you asked
two hours ago.

27
00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:03,855
My dad always said,

28
00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:06,316
"You don't quit a job
till ya got another job."

29
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,402
Of course, he was a drunk
who also said

30
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,737
nothing good ever came
from educated women.

31
00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,283
My point is,
I bet you regret

32
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,618
leaving Wellman
so quickly now.

33
00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,704
[ Groans ]
I know I regret it.

34
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:21,081
The company was destroying
the environment, Ben.

35
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,875
I couldn't live with myself if
I worked there for one more day.

36
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,877
Yes, I know,
and I appreciate that,

37
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,713
but just for the sake
of argument,

38
00:01:27,713 --> 00:01:31,300
isn't everything a little bad
for the environment?

39
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,635
No.
[ Sighs ]

40
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:38,140
My dad left me cheap old paint
from Nigeria with lead in it,

41
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:40,809
and I mix and sell
that paint every day

42
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,561
and I sleep like a log.

43
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,691
Probably 'cause I mix paint
with lead in it, but...

44
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,071
I know you're worried, but
I'm going to get something.

45
00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:56,033
I finally have a solid résumé
that I didn't have to lie on.

46
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,118
What? No lies?!

47
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,121
Let's see this
little bio of truth.

48
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,540
No. It's -- It's boring.
You wouldn't want to hear it.

49
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:07,502
Yes, we would.
And that's why I...

50
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,504
printed it out.
Oh!

51
00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:13,967
"I-I like to think of myself
as a people person

52
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,261
who sees the good
in everyone."

53
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,514
I do, you mean,
empty-headed Barbie!

54
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:22,976
Uh, "I have a positive
attitude, high energy..."

55
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,269
[ Laughs ]

56
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:27,105
"...and I believe
overcontrolling managers

57
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,441
stifle productivity."
[ Laughs ]

58
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:30,942
[ Southern accent ]
Oh, I do declare,

59
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:33,737
I believe my productivity
is bein' stifled.

60
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:36,657
[ Laughter ]

61
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,700
Jackie: Uh-oh, she gonna get it!
She gonna get it!

62
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,827
[ Cheering ]

63
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,621
[ Laughter ]

64
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:44,623
Nobody tells the truth
on these things,

65
00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:46,458
or nobody
would have a job.

66
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:47,751
[ Computer chimes ]

67
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,880
Oh. Oh.
There you go, people.

68
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,715
My first interview.

69
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:57,469
With a company that makes
acoustic ceiling tiles.

70
00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,554
Alright.
Dare to dream, everybody.

71
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:02,265
Alright!

72
00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:04,101
Hey, uh,
something just happened

73
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,602
that I need to talk
to you guys about.

74
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,020
I was just
with Grandma Bev.

75
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:11,066
The hell were you doing
going to see Grandma Bev?

76
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,651
You've seen
horror movies.

77
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:15,487
You're supposed to run away
from the monster!

78
00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:17,739
Well, I felt bad because
no one goes to see her,

79
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:20,242
so I took her to a senior
aqua-cize class,

80
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:23,412
and in the middle of it,
she scared the hell out of me.

81
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,747
She didn't know where she was
or why she was there.

82
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:27,916
I think she might
have dementia.

83
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:30,627
Ugh. God. Here we go.

84
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,546
Somebody
needs my attention.

85
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,964
I don't go see her
for a couple of years,

86
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,257
because for once

87
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,968
I hold a boundary
to take care of myself,

88
00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,512
and now
she's got dementia.

89
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,182
When my dad
started losing it,

90
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:47,811
my half-brother urged me
to go see him, and I said no.

91
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:49,146
I regret that.

92
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,772
Maybe it's not an act.

93
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,899
It's her pattern.

94
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,568
Dan, remember?

95
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,027
Last time
she moved in with me,

96
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:58,071
she said it was
because she was broke,

97
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,907
but actually they kicked her
out of the senior home

98
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,367
for spreading VD.

99
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,748
I'll go see her,
but, you know,

100
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,834
if this is somehow
chlamydia-related,

101
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,461
I'm gonna be pissed.

102
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:21,803
♪♪

103
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:31,188
♪♪

104
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:34,191
-- Captions by VITAC --

105
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,358
"The Conners" is filmed

106
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,986
in front of
a live studio audience.

107
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:40,238
Uh, I looked it up,
and I never realized

108
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:41,782
that acoustic ceiling tiles

109
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:44,493
are really the unsung heroes
of our everyday lives.

110
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,205
Well, I must say, Darlene
[clears throat]

111
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,415
your résumé does tick
all the boxes

112
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:53,084
for what we're looking for
in a production manager.

113
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:56,004
But I have to ask --
why did you leave Wellman?

114
00:04:56,004 --> 00:05:00,050
Well, I achieved everything
I wanted to there,

115
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:03,011
and I felt it was time to
look for bigger challenges.

116
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,930
It's all in my bio.

117
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:08,767
"Achieved everything, likes
to look for bigger challenges."

118
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:11,853
So, I did speak
to your supervisor, Robin.

119
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,897
She was
very complimentary.

120
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:16,107
But Bill Wellman called me
about an hour ago.

121
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,152
Oh.

122
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:22,322
Uh, how's ol' Bill doing?

123
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,407
He told me that
you weren't a team player

124
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,368
and you have
a bad attitude.

125
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:29,621
Oh, yeah, we would joke around
a lot like that.

126
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:32,082
He'd say, "You have
a bad attitude, Darlene!"

127
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,251
And I'd say, "You're bald
and a big liar, Bill!"

128
00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:37,546
And we would just
laugh and laugh.

129
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:41,132
Hm. Hey, look, I get
that people hold grudges

130
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:44,427
when someone they're counting on
leaves the company.

131
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,012
I'd love to hear
your side of it.

132
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,139
Okay.
Here's the truth.

133
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:50,600
Wellman is poisoning
the groundwater,

134
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,269
and they wanted me
to lie to the public.

135
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,436
Do you drink water?

136
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,647
'Cause Bill Wellman
is trying to murder you.

137
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,901
Why didn't you tell me that
in the first place?

138
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:04,197
Because it sounds crazy
if I can't give you any proof.

139
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,449
Bill also said you were
an overly dramatic

140
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:10,829
eco-conspiracy nut
with no proof.

141
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,372
Well.
[ Clears throat ]

142
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:16,459
I am not surprised
he painted me that way.

143
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:19,129
Because the truth is...

144
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:21,047
Bill is in love with me.

145
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,467
I think it's safe to say

146
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,052
we're done here.

147
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,013
Agreed.
When do I start?

148
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,225
Blink if I'm hired.

149
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,478
Blink if you validate.

150
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,065
♪♪

151
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,692
[ Knock on door ]

152
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,154
Hello!
Jackie: Hi, Mom.

153
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:48,992
Well, you got me here,
so let the show begin!

154
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:51,745
Kind of surprised that you
don't have pants on your head

155
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,413
and you're yelling
about aliens

156
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,207
and building a mountain
out of mashed potatoes.

157
00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,461
What are you
going on about?

158
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:02,213
Nothing you say
ever makes sense.

159
00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:06,384
That's why people lose interest
in you so quickly.

160
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:10,138
Okay, well, um, I stopped by
for a wellness check.

161
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,390
You're still awful,
so I will see you next time

162
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:15,143
when I'm here
to identify the body. Bye.

163
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,729
Just stop your gibberish
and come in.

164
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,898
I haven't seen you
in forever!

165
00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:22,692
Oi.

166
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,110
Nice circle.

167
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,030
You forgot to draw
the pentagram in it.

168
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,823
These are all
the things I need.

169
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:32,494
I was afraid that I would forget
where I put them,

170
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:34,120
so I keep them all near.

171
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,581
Oh, I see. That's a nice touch,
Mom, yeah.

172
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,249
So, you know, uh,

173
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:40,085
the real reason
that I'm here is that

174
00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,587
Harris said you didn't know
where you were yesterday

175
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,048
when you were at the pool
for your senior exercise.

176
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:48,218
Don't be so silly.

177
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:50,261
I know where I am
all the time.

178
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,097
Hmm.

179
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,473
Harris who?

180
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:57,060
Darlene's daughter, Harris.
She took you to the Y.

181
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,895
Just cut the crap.

182
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,021
[ Chuckling ] Mom.

183
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,190
Oh, you don't
remember her?

184
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,776
Of course I do.
Yes.

185
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,277
And that reminds me.

186
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:08,947
Could you tell Roseanne

187
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:12,075
that she needs to come by
and visit me, too?

188
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,871
What are you
talking about?

189
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:19,249
I'm talking
about your sister.

190
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,960
Do you not know
who your sister is?

191
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,422
Roseanne's gone, Mom.

192
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,632
She passed away.

193
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,008
What?

194
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,721
Oh, my God.

195
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:37,225
When did this happen?

196
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,935
You really don't know,
do you?

197
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:43,356
It was years ago, Mom.

198
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,567
You don't remember
any of this?

199
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,697
[ Exhales heavily ]

200
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,991
Okay.

201
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,993
Uh, let's...

202
00:08:57,287 --> 00:09:02,125
Let's get you
a-a check-up, and, um...

203
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:05,545
in the meantime, I'll just...
spend the night here.

204
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,213
Yes.

205
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,549
That would be nice.
[ Chuckles ]

206
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,427
I always know that I can
count on you for comfort.

207
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,348
You know who I am,
right?

208
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,393
Of course.

209
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,728
I'm Jackie.

210
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,730
Jackie. Right.

211
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,482
Yeah.
Your daughter, Jackie.

212
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:29,152
I know you're my daughter.
Stop slouching!

213
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:32,781
It makes your tiny boobs
look smaller.

214
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:35,784
Oh, there's my girl.

215
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,583
Great. Bill Wellman is
badmouthing me so much,

216
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,336
now I'm even being turned down
by jobs I'm perfect for.

217
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,879
If you want, I can ask
if there's any openings

218
00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,422
at my grocery store.

219
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,674
There are some people
who open boxes in the back.

220
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:55,762
They're strange, kind of feral
people with no social skills.

221
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,473
You could be their queen.

222
00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:01,392
You know, when I was
in my 22nd hour of labor,

223
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:03,394
pushing a watermelon
through a Cheerio,

224
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,814
I was kind of hoping for
somebody more grateful.

225
00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:08,566
He'd be more grateful
if that Cheerio

226
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,276
was a portal
to another family.

227
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:13,613
Hey, I got him
a new dad.

228
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,910
Anyway, I-I already took a job
with a food delivery service.

229
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,453
Dan: Food delivery?

230
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:23,873
They tip in advance. There's
hardly any human contact.

231
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,834
This was practically
made for you.

232
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,547
How did it go?
Did you see Bev?

233
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,298
I spent the night.
Harris is right.

234
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,634
I think she's starting
to develop dementia.

235
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,303
I'm so sorry, Jackie.
That's rough.

236
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,514
You know, if you don't have
an active social life,

237
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:41,516
you have a higher chance
of getting dementia,

238
00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:43,434
and we left her alone
a lot.

239
00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:45,436
Yeah, well,
because of the COVID.

240
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:48,690
Sure. Of course.
The COVID.

241
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:51,067
That's our story, right?

242
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,986
They also say you have
a higher chance of getting it

243
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,280
if you have a hearing loss.
I missed that sign.

244
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,366
Damn woman never heard
a word I said.

245
00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:01,202
Look, I just, uh, wanted to
let you know what was going on,

246
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:05,039
but I know it all falls on me,
and it's just so damn unfair!

247
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,336
[ Refrigerator door opens ]

248
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,925
Morning beer, huh?

249
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:18,636
Well, if there was
ever a time.

250
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:22,015
But they say if you drink alone,
you have a problem.

251
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,684
Let me help you
stay healthy.

252
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,520
Thanks.
It is unfair.

253
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,814
That woman doesn't deserve
to have you look after her

254
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,191
for the rest of her life.

255
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,526
That's not
the unfair part, Dan.

256
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,446
I should've
gone to her sooner.

257
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:39,199
Well, now that you know,
you can be there for her.

258
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,950
I'm not talking
about compassion.

259
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:43,203
I'm talking
about revenge, man!

260
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,539
Now, when I finally
get my life together,

261
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,124
she's all
in and out of it.

262
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,876
I might never get
the satisfaction

263
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:54,088
of telling her how wrong
she was about me!

264
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:57,425
So, catch her while she's "in"
and let her know

265
00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:00,345
how you overcame
all the damage she did to you.

266
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,889
I was afraid to tell her
while she's so vulnerable,

267
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:05,767
but she never cared
about my vulnerability.

268
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:07,227
I'm gonna do it.

269
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:10,855
Spent her entire life
telling me what a failure I was.

270
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:14,025
I'm gonna shove my happiness
right in her face!

271
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:18,571
That's what I always wanted
to kill her, not dementia.

272
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,115
♪♪

273
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:24,077
This all sounds good, Darlene.
I think you'd be a perfect fit.

274
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,079
I'll e-mail you an offer
in a few.

275
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,831
Oh, that would be so great,
Travis. Thank you.

276
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:32,085
What was that?

277
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,920
One of the people
that Robin talked to

278
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,589
before Bill stopped her
is offering me a job.

279
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,259
Yes! Ha!

280
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,885
It's a mid-level
management position

281
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,179
at a ball-point pen
manufacturing plant.

282
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:44,806
Ohh!

283
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:48,142
I'm feeling a happy dance
coming on!

284
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,106
Yeah...yeah.

285
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,065
Ha-ha!

286
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:58,027
[ Computer chimes ]

287
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:01,281
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Okay. Here's the offer.

288
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:05,285
Oh, crap.

289
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,537
He's lowballing me.
Well, come on.

290
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:10,456
That's still more than you're
gonna make delivering food.

291
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,250
[ Cellphone chimes ]

292
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,460
Well, speaking of,
I have to make some deliveries.

293
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:19,173
But first --
You know what? No.

294
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,758
[ Keyboard clacking ]
"I appreciate the offer,

295
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:24,554
but I need 50% more.

296
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:28,266
I'm willing to look past all
my other offers for this one."

297
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,351
Come on. You really think now
is the time to be bluffing?

298
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,478
You got
a bird in the hand.

299
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,814
Look, I know you're scared,
and I'm scared, too,

300
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,607
but I did
the impossible.

301
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:39,569
I'm a Conner and I clawed
my way into management

302
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:42,155
and a decent salary.

303
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,574
You know,
if I take this offer,

304
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,617
I could end up working
the rest of my life

305
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,703
and never make it back
to where I was.

306
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,246
You're right.

307
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:52,540
Don't take a penny less
than you deserve.

308
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,542
And get medical, too.

309
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:55,668
Oh, yeah.
You know what?

310
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,503
You're right.
I-I've earned that.

311
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,380
Yeah, we're gonna need it,
'cause I think I pulled

312
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:02,216
something in my groin
doing the happy dance.

313
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:04,469
♪♪

314
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,888
Food delivery!
It's Darlene with your food!

315
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:11,059
[ Chuckles ]

316
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,855
Darlene Conner?

317
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,607
From the job interview?

318
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,650
Well, of course.

319
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,527
Who else
would this happen to?

320
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,450
This is classic.

321
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:31,204
I assume the other job offers
you were talking about

322
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,415
were from Pizza Hut
and Grubhub?

323
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:37,376
Um, look, this is awkward,
obviously.

324
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:39,712
Uh, but I just didn't
want to jump into

325
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,798
the wrong
management position,

326
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,549
so I took a temp job.

327
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,635
But my qualifications
haven't changed,

328
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,637
so if you are good
with my counter-offer,

329
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,305
we split
a six-foot sub,

330
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:50,807
and the people
at the 12-step meeting

331
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,810
have to fill up on coffee
and cigarettes.

332
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,394
I know this is
a bad coincidence,

333
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:57,313
but let's be honest --

334
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,023
it doesn't make any sense
for me to negotiate.

335
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:03,653
Okay.
How about this?

336
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:06,030
I can go...

337
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,907
as low as that.

338
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,034
Oh. Look at that.
It's one of yours.

339
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:15,331
My family is waiting for dinner.
Do we have a deal or not?

340
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:17,375
Look, I deserve
what I asked for,

341
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,086
and I just can't
take any less.

342
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,671
You're making
a big mistake.

343
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:26,509
No, you're making
a big mistake,

344
00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:28,719
because you could have
a great employee,

345
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,931
but corporate guys like you
are so greedy

346
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,225
that they have to grind
the little guy for pennies

347
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,686
rather than pay them
what they're worth.

348
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,105
And it's pretty messed up that
you're taking advantage of me

349
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,690
because you think
I'm desperate.

350
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:43,276
Well, I'm not desperate enough
to sell my integrity

351
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:46,279
to some greedy bastard
like you.

352
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,572
And you know what?

353
00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:49,532
I ate your coleslaw,
and it was fantastic.

354
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:53,619
♪♪

355
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:56,414
Hey, Mom. I saw the nurse.
She said you had a good day.

356
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:59,041
Everything come back to you?
You know who I am?

357
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,961
Of course I do, Jackie.

358
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:05,006
I hope
this is good soup.

359
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:07,175
Not like that warm dishwater
you serve

360
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:10,595
at that failing restaurant
of yours.

361
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:12,305
Okay. Alright.

362
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,308
Well, now that I know
the lights are on...

363
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:18,895
Uh, it's not failing.
It's thriving.

364
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:21,439
Mom.
[ Clears throat ]

365
00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:25,484
You spent your entire life
belittling me,

366
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:29,113
uh, making me doubt myself,
hate myself,

367
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:32,950
uh, telling me that I'd never
be happy or worthy of love,

368
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,577
and you were wrong.

369
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:36,871
Mom, I'm happy,
I'm healthy,

370
00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:39,790
and I found somebody
who loves me,

371
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,043
and we got married,
and we didn't invite you,

372
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:44,587
and he's a doctor, Mom!

373
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,505
And he thinks
I'm funny and adorable,

374
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,716
and we are gonna
hold each other tight

375
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:51,636
until the day we die!

376
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:55,181
Hunh! [ Laughs ]

377
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:58,476
Man, I've -- I've spent
my entire life

378
00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:01,729
trying to get your approval,
and now I don't need it.

379
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,397
You understand?
[ Chuckles ]

380
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:08,319
Do ya?

381
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:14,867
This is very important to me
that you understand...

382
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:18,246
that I don't need
your approval.

383
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,581
I have to not have it.
Give it to me.

384
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:26,128
Al Harris is taking me

385
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:29,840
to the sock hop
Saturday night.

386
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,884
I think he wants
to go steady.

387
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,803
No. Wait. No.

388
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:37,390
Mom,
don't do this to me.

389
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,351
Why am I even
talking to you?

390
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,853
Where's my daughter?
I wanna tell my daughter!

391
00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:45,690
I'm right here!
Mom, do you remember me?

392
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,441
Huh?!

393
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:51,404
I-I-I'm the loser who
no sane man could ever love.

394
00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:56,284
Who wouldn't love you?

395
00:17:56,284 --> 00:18:00,454
I mean, I know we just met,
but let me give you a hug!

396
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,459
Sure.

397
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,380
Yeah.
[ Chuckles ]

398
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,173
You seem like
a lovely person.

399
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,138
So...

400
00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:19,390
why don't you sit down
and...

401
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,726
[ Chuckles ]

402
00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:24,270
Here.
There you go.

403
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,772
And I'll just
sit over here.

404
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,190
And, um...

405
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:33,195
I'll tell you
about my mom.

406
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:36,198
Oh, God. She was
a horrible person.

407
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,829
♪♪

408
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:44,582
Dinner's ready!
It's Thanksgiving, people!

409
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:50,671
What's going on? Where's all
the tasteless vegan stuff?

410
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,757
And is that a real turkey
or is that

411
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,176
some sort of
turkey-shaped mushroom?

412
00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:58,346
Uh, no, that's a dead animal
right there.

413
00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:00,765
Lived, breathed,
had hopes and dreams,

414
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:03,309
and now
you're gonna eat it.

415
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:07,271
Thank you, Lord! Can't wait
to put gravy on them dreams.

416
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,106
Uh-oh. The last time
she cooked us meat

417
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:11,359
was to tell us
that Dad left.

418
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,527
No, I just want
you all to know

419
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:16,030
that I turned down a job
yesterday.

420
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:19,283
I had to do it, but
I'm sorry for any sacrifices

421
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,744
you'll be forced to make
because of it.

422
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:26,082
We'll all just tighten our belts
a bit for the near future.

423
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,375
But first,
I'm gonna loosen mine,

424
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:29,085
'cause this'll probably be
the last big meal

425
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:30,961
we're gonna have
for a while.

426
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,424
You did the right thing
passing on that offer.

427
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,718
You're smart,
you do your job well,

428
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:39,261
something else
will come along.

429
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:40,388
[ Door closes ]

430
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:43,349
You promise?
Absolutely not!

431
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,935
Hello, family.

432
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,770
How'd your talk go
with Bev?

433
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,522
Uh, I'm not sure.

434
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,899
Right after I finished, she said
she was going to the sock hop

435
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,818
with my dead father.

436
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:57,988
Wow. It's like "Happy Days"
with VD and a ghost.

437
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,534
I mean, she was just so
in and out of it that I gave up,

438
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,160
and even
if it registered,

439
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,204
she'd just forget it
the next day.
Yeah.

440
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,914
Maybe she's suppressing
everything

441
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:08,207
because it's too painful
for her remembering

442
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,251
how awful
she was to you.

443
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:12,795
Wow, Harris.
That's very profound.

444
00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:15,214
Yeah, I don't know
where that came from.

445
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,967
My brain must have
needed the meat.

446
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,510
So, I found somebody
part-time,

447
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,846
but now I've got to get
a long-term caregiver.

448
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:23,180
Jackie, I give you
a lot of credit

449
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,598
for stepping up
to take care of her.

450
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:26,350
You're being very healthy
about this.

451
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,894
Well, even after all the
horrible things she did to me,

452
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,105
she's still my mother,
but the sad thing is,

453
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:34,984
I think she's gonna be
sweet to me from now on.

454
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,986
Would it help
if we reminded you

455
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,946
once in a while that
you're a slouching failure?

456
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,574
Aww! You guys!

457
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,617
You're the best!

458
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:44,869
To Bev.

459
00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:46,746
-Yeah!
-To Bev!

460
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:52,251
Now, I'm not
the kind of person

461
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:54,712
who waits for a will
to do something nice.

462
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:57,423
I wanna see the joy
on your little faces

463
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,216
when I give you
these things.

464
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:02,219
Aww. I'm -- I'm not sure we
should take stuff, Grandma Bev.

465
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,804
You might change your mind.
Shut up!

466
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:07,266
She wants the pleasure
of giving. Let the
old woman have it.

467
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:10,227
This is a very rare,

468
00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:13,189
priceless necklace!

469
00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:15,566
Ohh. Wow!

470
00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:18,694
Made from your Aunt Jackie's
umbilical cord!

471
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:21,447
[ Screams ] Unh!

472
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:24,325
Think about that next time
you call me "old woman."