RANDY: Come on. (GRUNTS)
(CHUCKLING) Let me tell you a story.
Me and Johnny go way back at MU.
We were practically joined at the hip.
Besties.
- SWAMP WOMAN: Cleetus, what is that? - SWAMP MAN: What in tarnation?
- (GROWLING) - (SHRIEKING)
RANDY: He saved me from those swamp people,
so I owed him one.
You see, Fear Co. had a problem.
Scream Power was kaput.
And Johnny needed to protect his family legacy.
So we cooked up a brilliant scheme.
We pretended to invent a Scream Amplifier
that would save the Scaring industry.
Ah. (LAUGHING)
Meanwhile, I used my very particular set of skills
to sneak into Monsters, Inc. in the dead of night
and nab the MIFTers' key to their holding pen,
steal those dummies' laugh energy
and then pass it off as our own.
(LAUGHING)
I even rewired the empty canisters
so no one noticed the missing laugh energy.
Hmm.
Those clowns didn't have any idea what was going on.
Ha!
And then I tipped off the clueless media
about the leaky canisters.
- Who is this? - A big fan.
Hello? Hello?
RANDY: Suddenly, Monsters, Inc. couldn't meet the energy needs of this city
and caused a catastrophic blackout.
Curse you, Laugh Power!
RANDY: And along the way, I had some fun sticking it
to that one-eyed cretin Wazowski.
MIKE: My lucky mint better be returned in pristine condition.
RANDY: But I wanted nothing more
than to wipe that smug grin
off Sullivan's stupid blue face.
(LAUGHING)
And we found some poor schmuck close to him to help us out.
TYLOR: Wait. Wait a second. I'm the schmuck?
You used me?
Tylor, Tylor.
I didn't use you, I chose you.
I've been watching you ever since you broke Sullivan's Scare Record,
and then I see you telling jokes at the homecoming game.
I knew your talent was being wasted at Monsters, Inc.
Yeah, but because of you,
all my friends hate me now.
Friends?
They are not your friends.
Did any of them stand up for you?
Well, I mean, no, but...
Tylor, I'm standing up for you.
The world is changing around us,
and I need your help to take it back.
Speaking of help, you know who didn't get any? Me.
Your phony Scream Amplifier is activated,
and so is my tennis elbow so thanks for that.
(SCATTERED LAUGHTER)
What? No. No, no.
You're mixing laughs and screams?
Yeah.
There is no Scream Amplifier.
Now, come on, kid. We got to get back out there.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(HELICOPTER HOVERING)
(SIRENS BLARING)
Michael Wazowski, James Patrick Sullivan.
- Uh, yeah. - Who's asking?
- M.E.R.C. - MONSTER: Oh, M.E.R.C.
- Uh... - Attention.
Monsters, Inc. is now under the jurisdiction
of the Monstropolis Energy Regulatory Commission.
Halt all funny business immediately.
I repeat, halt all funny business immediately
and exit the building in a non-humorous manner.
You're wanted for questioning
about the blackout you caused.
BOTH: We caused?
- Hey, watch the fur. - Call my lawyer.
Googly Bear.
Wait, I don't have a lawyer. Find me a lawyer!
- One that works pro bono. - CELIA: Don't try to be soft.
Yes, we're bringing them to M.E.R.C. Headquarters now.
Preparing to transfer the city's power needs
- from Monsters, Inc. to Fear Co. - Fear Co.?
Folks, I just received this bulletin.
Sadly, M.E.R.C. has confirmed
that Monsters Incorporated caused the blackout.
Once their supply of Laugh Power ran out,
it shorted out the entire power grid.
(SCOFFS) I knew it.
You know, it breaks my heart that the hardworking citizens
of Monstropolis don't have power.
But Tylor, our top Scarer and future face of Fear
has helped get our new Scream Amplifier up and running.
Johnny, can I borrow you for... It's just about...
Listen to him. So excited.
Now, trust me.
Power will be restored by 9:00 tonight.
- Okay, so Jack and Jill... - Hey, Johnny! Johnny. Hold up. Wait.
- ...of the Scream Amplifier. - Johnny, listen!
You cannot mix screams and laughs.
This whole building is gonna blow.
Like, explode?
(CHUCKLES) It's okay. Relax.
I appreciate your concern, but I've done my own research, okay?
(STUTTERS) But, uh, are you sure that's accurate?
- Boo! - (SHRIEKS)
(LAUGHING)
Oh, you still got it, Boggs.
I'm just warming up to scare some kids.
I hope I get a bed wetter, like Chet in college.
(CHUCKLES) Good old Chet Wetter. They still call you that?
They should, Chet Wetter.
- I just go by Chet now. - (STATION RUMBLING)
Whoa! See? Did you see that?
- That is not good. - Tylor, it's fine.
The energies are just mixing.
Everything is under control.
But, you don't...
Okay, Chet Wetter, let's put the Fear Co. banner
- over here. - Mmm-hmm.
- CHET: Okay. - JOHNNY: Yeah, front and center.
OFFICER: All Monsters Incorporated employees
exit the building now.
I repeat, all Monsters Incorporated employees
exit the building now.
Psst. Guys.
Guys, you still here?
(FRITZ AND ROGER GRUNTING)
Guys. (GASPS)
(GRUNTS) We gotta get Fendi out.
- Oh. - We can't leave her behind.
I don't understand.
We just worked so hard to get all the gigglewatts we needed.
So how was there a blackout?
- TYLOR: I know. - (BOTH GASP)
- Tuskmon. - Oh, boy, here we go.
Why are you here?
Look, I know you're all mad at me, and I get it.
- But Randall Boggs is back. - What?
He's been stealing Laugh Power for Johnny,
then making our canisters still look full.
And they were using me all along to do it.
(SCOFFS) Likely story from a traitor.
Look, I know I screwed up.
I want to fix this, but I... I can't do it alone.
Wait. If Randall stole our Laugh Power...
That means there were no leaks and...
BOTH: It wasn't your fault.
I'm sorry.
Oh, me, too.
I'm even sorry for the incident.
I shouldn't have bought you the wrong orange juice.
I despise pulp, but it was never about the orange juice.
Okay, cool.
Uh, happy for you.
But getting back to more pressing matters,
Fear Co. caused the blackout.
There is no Scream Amplifier.
All they're doing is mixing laugh and scream energy in the receiving station.
Johnny's gonna activate it at 9:00 p.m.
And when he does...
Permanent blackout.
Why?
Okay, MIFTers and extended work family,
we've got a nut that needs wrenching. Any ideas?
- Uh... - Hmm.
If only there was a way to separate the screams from the laughs.
Oh, sweet buttered toast.
Guess who's got an idea.
- (ROGER GASPS) - Waternoose's old scream extractor.
CUTTER: Yeah. Lucky we kept all the pieces.
- Guess we got to put it back together. - Listen up, every MIFTer,
grab some parts, even former ones.
I really want to hug, but there's no time to tell him
how much I miss and forgive him.
(CHUCKLING) Oh.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Life is too short.
(GRUNTS)
Roger, I, uh...
I think I owe you an apology
- for... - Hey, I get it.
Look, if I heard me yelling at my dad on the phone in a very angry,
unsettling manner, I'd accuse me, too.
Probably not on live television.
But, hey, forgiveness photo.
Oh, uh, okay.
(GIGGLES)
- Oh, hey. - Hmm.
Save your pathetic apology tour for later, College Boy.
Now, if you're so smart, how do we actually get into Fear Co.?
I know a way,
but we're gonna need disguises.
Whoa!
Tylor, you're not... (GRUNTS) supporting me.
Sorry. I am trying to be a better friend.
No, not like that.
I need you to physically support me.
Stand up straight.
Whoa! Yeah, definitely an evil lair vibe going on here.
It's all clear.
Good thing I kept some of this Fear Co. swag from the creep show.
Fritz, where's your disguise?
Oh, I don't need one.
I do community theater on the weekend.
- My performance shall be my disguise. - (GIGGLES)
I'm Frankie Rigatoni. I'm really, really tough.
Hey, don't you look me in the eye.
Oh, oh.
Well, I'm quite intimidated.
(CHUCKLES)
(PANTING)
Look, there it is.
- The receiving station. - VAL: (GASPS) Uh-oh.
So what now, College Boy?
Hey, Duncan, how would you like to be promoted to supervisor?
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Hi, I'm Skyler.
I got to go number two and probably number six.
No can do, old man.
Got strict orders to guard this area.
Okay. (GRUNTS)
(FARTING)
Skyler tried to hold it.
(RECEIVING STATION RUMBLING)
Ah, the station's been acting up all day.
Let's see what the old gauges say.
Hmm. All seems... (GRUNTS)
(CLEARS THROAT)
Oi.
Underling.
- Uh... - Declan?
As supervisor, I have reconsidered your request
for lavatory access, and I've granted it.
Oh, thanks.
I held in the number two,
but the number six,
yeah, it, kind of, squeaked out. (FARTS)
(EXHALES DEEPLY) Speaking of relief,
you have been relieved from your post as well.
These two very scary, very loyal Scarers
will hold down the fort.
Hey, have I seen you from somewhere?
What floor do you work on?
Uh... (SIGHS)
Uh...
(SNARLING)
I'm on floor none-of-your-business.
I'm Frankie Rigatoni.
I don't take no nothing from nobody.
And that nobody is you.
All right, Frankie, all right. We're cool, we're cool.
(SNARLS)
Call me nobody.
I'll have you know I am somebody.
FRITZ: Oh, yeah?
(SCOFFS) I'm gonna go egg that guy's car.
FRITZ: Come on. It's just over here.
- CUTTER: Almost there. - DUNCAN: Heavier than I remember.
ROGER: It's a good thing I work out.
All right, we've only got 15 minutes to put this together.
So we have to put a move on it.
Has anyone seen the doohickeys?
Doohickeys incoming.
CUTTER: Duncan!
Fastening the doohickeys to the thingamajig.
- Roger. - Rolling canisters to you.
I'm tightening these gaskets.
(GRUNTING) Why doesn't this fit?
What, is this metric? (GRUNTS)
Oh, uh, I think you might need a different one.
- Huh? - My family does own a hardware store.
Crazy first day, huh?
Yeah.
So how was yours?
You know, before learning about the whole Fear Co. is evil thing.
Not fun. My assistant kept trying to eat me.
Well, your hands are bite-sized.
(RECEIVING STATION RUMBLING)
We gotta hurry.
Okay, so here's the button to activate the Scream Amplifier, Johnny.
(CHUCKLES) I did a good job, right?
Enough for a pay raise maybe?
My non-elective surgery is coming up.
- JILL: Oh, Johnny. - Hey.
There's the only news team I trust.
Especially you, Jill.
You always get my good side.
Uh, oh.
That's because your gorgeous face doesn't have a bad side, Johnny.
You're embarrassing yourself, Jill. He's married.
- Your hair glue is showing. - (SHRIEKS)
Yes, I'd love for this to air as soon as the power is back on
so all of Monstropolis can see they have Fear Co.
and Scream Power to thank.
(RECEIVING STATION RUMBLING)
- What was that? - Ah, you feel that?
Now, that's the power of Fear.
(RECEIVING STATION RUMBLING)
CUTTER: We're at T minus two minutes and counting.
Just say we have two minutes left.
We're almost done over here.
There's just one last nut that needs some wrenching.
Oh, there goes my wisdom tooth.
Goodbye, toothy. Thank you for your service.
Locked in.
Okay, hose connected.
(GRUNTS)
FRITZ: My turn.
Extracting the screams now
so this place doesn't go kablooey.
(GIGGLES)
Thank God.
(SCREECHING)
- CUTTER: We did it! - ALL: All right.
It's working!
Guys, guys, shut the mouth holes.
According to this simple, multi-variable calculus I just did,
we got a problem.
There's not enough time to suck out the screams
before Johnny pushes the button.
Ah, what? Why is nothing ever easy?
- (SIGHS) - Come on.
Somebody better buy us some time by stalling Johnny Boy.
Unicorn Sparkle, Donut Head needs you
for Operation Stall Johnny.
You in?
Uh, you know I can't say no to awesome code names.
Here, once it's all green, it's safe for Johnny to push the button.
If there's any red, we're all dead.
- Oh. - Sure hope they heard that last part.
MIKE: Where did we go wrong, Sulley?
One day we're riding high
as beloved leaders of the top energy company,
and the next, we've fallen from grace.
We can't possibly go lower.
Sullivan, Wazowski.
Correction, we've gone lower.
As head of M.E.R.C., I had to shut you down
and transfer power rights over to Fear Co.
Wait a second, Fear Co.?
I need you to sign all this paperwork to make it official.
And I mean all the paperwork, Wazowski.
Got it? Huh?
Did Roz just wink at us?
Is she torturing me, or is she making
a disturbing romantic overture?
Oh, please be torture. Please be torture.
Maybe Roz knows something we don't.
Maybe the longer we take, the better.
Ah, I got this.
(CLEARS THROAT)
I better sign these with my full name.
So it'll probably take a while.
Of course. First name.
(ENUNCIATING) Michael.
(DEVICE BEEPING)
(GASPS)
Hey, hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Did somebody touch something?
Yeah, I didn't touch nothing.
Hmm. Ooh.
Oh, the extractor is just unplugged.
I'll just put it back in its cozy little home.
Oh.
Oh. Oh, that's a bit weird.
Hello, little Waternoose.
- (GASPS) - Randall!
(GRUNTS)
Hold it. Nobody messes with my Rogie
and gets away with it.
Oh, yeah? Good luck with that, chumps. (LAUGHS)
Oh!
Okay, so I'll be here.
And I'd love for you to get the banner in the shot, too, Kenny.
Uh, it's Carter, actually.
Okay. Thanks, Carl. Top notch.
- Hey, Johnny. - Ah, Tylor.
I knew you'd be back.
Oh, and you brought your friend.
- Val, is it? - Whoo! Yeah.
Let Fear power you. Down with laughter.
(CHUCKLES)
Well, it looks like we're inspiring monsters everywhere to join Fear Co.
Oh, and huge fan of what you're doing.
I'd love a tour of the whole place.
The longer, the better.
(CHUCKLES) No.
You know, Tylor here
- played a big part in all of this. - Oh.
- I could not have done it without him. - Oh, I...
So it's only right that he be the one
to activate the Scream Amplifier.
TYLOR: Uh, oh, yeah, of course.
- Yes. - Come on, MIFTers. Come on!
Folks, it's time to let Fear power you.
TYLOR: Uh, okay, uh...
- Well... - (CLEARS THROAT)
Uh, hi. Me again.
Sorry to interrupt, but before we got here,
Tylor was saying how he'd like to take a moment
and, um...
A moment to, yeah, to thank Johnny.
Yeah, giving me, you know, this, this amazing opportunity.
Uh, you're welcome.
You see, it all began in eighth grade.
- Fourth grade. - Fourth grade?
Oh, yes, uh, it was in the fourth grade.
Hey, losers, over here!
If you want it, come and get it.
- (GRUNTS) - Ha! Too slow.
Then we get into my high school years,
which was the peak of my Scare Card collecting days.
So you, you can only imagine
how much it meant to see my face on one of these.
Oh, that's fascinating.
Just get to it already.
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) Thank you, Tylor.
Now, let's not leave the citizens of Monstropolis in the dark any longer.
- Ah! Sorry about that. - Oh, uh...
- Whoops. - Can't control these hands.
(RANDY LAUGHING)
RANDY: Ow!
We got him! (GRUNTS)
- Ow! - RANDY: Losers.
Hey, Frankie's got you now.
RANDY: Whoa!
You MIFT-fits are pathetic.
CELIA: I don't see him!
We can't beat him if we can't see him.
- (SCREAMS) - Ha! In your face.
Hey, you, get the Drooler Cooler.
How are you thinking of refreshments at a time like this?
Oh, it's not for drinking.
It's for spraying two-bit punks.
- I got you! - Booger Blast.
That's the stickiest flavor.
(GRUNTS)
That's the idea.
Oh.
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS)
Whoa, whoa. Don't, don't worry. I'm coming.
Going somewhere, chump?
Declan.
No.
- What do you think you're doing? - Ow!
(JACK AND JILL CLEAR THROATS)
Johnny, filming.
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) Oh, sorry.
I, I don't know my own strength.
VAL: Why has it stopped?
Why has it stopped?
As you can see, I've been classically trained.
- Nice beard. - Indeed, I drew it myself.
(ALL STRAINING)
FRITZ: (GRUNTS) Come on.
Look out! Oh!
You witless prat!
There can be only one!
- JILL: What? - JACK: Get him, Tylor!
Oh, yeah, get him! Kick him in the horns.
- Get his pretty face. - Don't hit my Johnny. Not the face!
- (BOTH GRUNTING) - JILL: Watch out!
Whoops. (CHUCKLES)
Give me that.
(GRUNTS)
Over here. Have at you!
(LAUGHING)
(CHUCKLES)
(ALL STRAINING)
Oh, look out!
You've lost, losers!
(LAUGHING)
No.
Monstropolis, this is for you.
(LAUGHING)
(SCREAMING)
- Whoo-hoo! - Yay!
- CUTTER: We did it! - (YELPS)
That's for all the bed-wetters out there.
(GRUNTS) At least I can grow a proper beard.
- (GRUNTS) - DUNCAN: How dare you?
Mother says the only one allowed to have facial hair is...
(GRUNTS)
(WHIMPERS)
Hello, citizens of Monstropolis.
I'm Johnny Worthington of Fear Co.
And I am proud to announce your power is back on,
thanks to our company's Scream Amplifier.
That is a lie!
There is no Scream Amplifier.
Fear Co. is running on stolen Laugh Power.
(GASPS)
No, no, no! That can't be true.
- My Johnny would never. - Yes! Ratings gold!
No, no, no, no, no. Tylor is clearly confused.
He's not, and I can prove it.
This device shows
there are currently no screams
in Fear Co.'s power supply.
It's all Laugh Energy stolen from Monsters, Inc.
- JACK: What? - JILL: What's wrong?
Oh, you could have programmed this to say anything.
(CHUCKLING)
Why are you ruining this?
I told you, you can't escape who you are.
I'm not.
I'm embracing it.
And you should embrace who you are.
A fraud.
(CHUCKLES) A fraud? You ungrateful little...
I gave you everything.
If I am a fraud, then what does that make you?
Huh? Huh?
You're not funny enough to be a jokester.
You're too afraid to be a Scarer.
The only thing you're good for is being a pawn.
He might be a pawn, but he's our pawn.
You mess with him, you mess with all of us.
Well, well, well, told you, Jill. Batting a thousand.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is all this?
M.E.R.C.? What are they doing here?
Well, hello, everyone.
What?
- You're coming with us. - Hang on a second.
You can't do this to me.
Oh, hey, here's some trash for you.
Thanks.
I am a hero of this community!
Your fraudulent Scream Amplifier scheme says otherwise.
We've had someone on the inside, too.
Chet?
Well, you should really treat your assistants better.
You forgot one thing, Worthington.
- We're always watching. - Huh?
(LOW GROWL)
This is preposterous!
You'll hear from my lawyers.
Ow! That pinches. You're pushing. You're pushing.
Sorry, Johnny. Looks like Laugh Power is the future.
A city full of monsters will never get on board.
You can't make kids laugh. You're a joke.
He's right.
I am a joke, a joke of a friend.
Val, I'm so sorry
I wasn't supportive of you when you got the jokester job offer,
which you, you totally deserve, by the way.
I mean, I... I should have been there for you.
You know... (STUTTERS) like you've always been there for me.
You know, you're... you're an incredible friend.
(STUTTERING) And you got the donuts, you know,
and you added the fun little stickers.
And I, you know, tried to buy some on my own,
but the glitter just didn't
- sparkle the same. - Oh, I forgive you, you big doofus.
Oh, love wins.
- Right, Jill? - Drop dead.
- Okay, fine. - Yeah, that's nice and all,
but my Johnny's right.
Monstropolis still doesn't believe in Laugh Power.
Okay, then let's sell them on it.
Follow me. You too, Carter.
Huh? She knows my name?
Gladly.
Wait.
No, no, no. That's, uh...
That's Ben's door.
Um, yeah, I really scared him earlier.
I, I don't think he'll want to see me ever again.
Hey, it's okay.
We'll face it as a team.
Yeah, but you're the funny one.
- You don't need me. - But I want you there.
Unless our pinkie promise meant nothing to you.
(DOOR OPENS)
Hey, Ben.
(GASPS, SCREAMS)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Ah, it's okay.
- It's okay. - BEN: Go away!
(BEN SHUDDERING)
Ben, Ben, Ben, it's okay, it's okay.
I don't believe we've ever met.
I'm Val, Tylor's best friend.
And he feels really bad about what happened.
Yeah, really, really bad.
You know, I was just wondering if you had a best friend, too.
BEN: Yeah. Nico.
Has Nico ever been, uh, upset with you?
BEN: Yeah.
There was one time I made him really mad.
What did you do to make up?
BEN: I said sorry.
And then we high-fived so hard, our hands stung.
Huh.
Well, my hands are pretty tiny,
so they might be kind of hard to hit.
What do you say?
I'm... I'm sorry, buddy.
Whoa!
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
Ben, have you ever heard the epic tale
of Unicorn Sparkle and Donut Head?
Um, I don't think so.
Well, it all started in college
when Unicorn Sparkle gave Donut Head
his favorite candy, Hot Snots.
(MIMICS MUNCHING)
Hot Snots? Ew!
(BEN LAUGHING)
They became best buds.
They went to MU, where Donut Head told a joke in front of a huge crowd.
BEN: Oh, oh, oh. What was it?
What did the sea monster have for dinner?
- Ooh, what? - VAL: Fish and chips.
BEN: Fish and chips?
Funny, right?
Well, nobody else thought so.
- TYLOR: Okay, okay, okay. - (SOBBING)
TYLOR: So your delivery was a little bit better than mine.
Hey, how we doing?
Good to be here, uh...
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION, LAUGHING)
Uh, phlegm brulee, s'il vous plait?
No!
- (ALL LAUGHING) - VAL: Oh, no, it's the streaker!
BEN: Whoa!
- (LAUGHING) - BEN: This is so fun!
Mmm-hmm.
Work buds forever.
(BEN CHUCKLES)
Home run, kid.
Home run.
(GROANS)
Today, Fear Co.'s Johnny Worthington reported to jail
after being convicted of stealing Laugh Power from Monsters, Inc.
His cellmate is none other than Henry J. Waternoose III.
All right!
Johnny's accomplice, Randall Boggs,
escaped custody and remains at large.
Even though he is, relatively speaking, rather small.
I wrote that joke.
And rest assured, he...
One more second.
Rest assured, ladies and gentlemen,
Detective Duncan P. Anderson is on the case.
And I won't rest... Excuse me?
Sorry, one second.
I won't rest... Ow!
Until justice... That's my mother's coat.
Until justice... It's vintage.
Until justice is served!
He's not affiliated with us.
Monsters, Inc. is now powering the entire city with laughter.
And, yes, even I've come around to it,
but I don't want to hear one word about it from Jack.
Okay. How about four?
I told you so.
(GRUNTS)
Ow! Ah, my toupee.
(CLEARS THROAT) I mean, my real hair. (CHUCKLES)
Come and get 'em, everybody.
Out of the press, everybody. We've got newly created jokester cards.
- Carla. - Phlegm, congratulations.
And for you, Banana Bread.
- Richard. - Skyler's funny now.
- Pull my finger. - No, thank you.
Fool me once.
Actually, it was twice, Mike.
Well, we're all done over here.
Another door station fixed by yours truly,
Frankie Rigatoni with sauce.
Fritz is still in character, huh?
Yeah, but I think I got a solve.
And cut!
Oh. Hi, everybody.
Okay, all right. How was that?
You want another take? I can do it a whole different way.
And last, but definitely not least, Val and Tylor,
your jokester card.
(VAL READING)
Yeah, that's going to be worth a lot someday.
You know, some say Sulley and I
were the very first unofficial duo.
Well, except Sulley's not funny.
My approach to comedy is less desperate than Mikey's.
Desperate? You can't talk to your boss like that!
Oh, so now you're in charge?
(SIGHS) Only when it suits me.
(DINGS)
Ready to go, partner?
Work buds forever.
BEN: Tylor, Val! (GIGGLES)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
ROZ: Remember, keep rewatching.
Always keep rewatching.
(LOW GROWL)