Good morning, Monstropolis.
- I'm Jack. - I'm Jill.
And welcome to I Scream...
U Scream!
The citizens of Monstropolis remain bitterly divided
over the future of this so-called "Laugh Power."
Joining us via ScreamCam to discuss it are James P. Sullivan of Monsters, Inc.
and Johnny Worthington of FearCo.
Thank you both for joining us.
Enough groveling.
It's called being polite.
Let's start with you, Mr. Sullivan.
- Oh, please, call me Sulley. - Oh, no.
You are not charming me into accepting your dangerous Laugh Power.
Laugh Power isn't dangerous.
- Exactly. - It's reliable, clean.
- So you're saying screams are dirty? - No.
Jill, that's not what he said.
I'm sure Mr. Worthington would like to respond.
Please, Jill, call me Johnny.
Oh! (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) I will.
- Go ahead, Johnny. - Ew.
Jill, I've known Sulley a long time,
and I'm sure he believes what he's saying, but you're right.
- Sure. - It's untested.
-Whoa. Wait a minute. - You've had your time. Johnny?
Maybe it'll be viable down the road,
- but today... - Yes, but...
...my neighbors and I just want safe, reliable power.
But laughs are safe. You see...
Mr. Sullivan, why should anyone believe you?
Whoa, wait!
You got expelled from Monsters University
for cheating in the Scare Games.
- For Pete's sake. - And more recently,
you were mentored by convicted criminal and disgraced former Monsters, Inc. CEO
Henry J. Waternoose.
Ugh. Jill...
So why should we trust you?
I say, "Once a liar and a cheat, always a liar and a cheat."
And if there's one thing Jill knows about,
it's lying and cheating in college.
- That's two things. - Look...
- And we're out of time. - Just give me...
We'll be back after a word from our sponsors,
- who also don't care for Jack. - They said that?
So that could have gone better.
Yep. Worst interview I've seen since, uh...
Nope, that was it.
May I present...
- So why am I looking at a coconut? - Ah!
You know, I ask that myself every time I wake up in a palm tree,
but this... this is your invitation
to Fritz's surprise work anniversary party.
It's a surprise. For me.
Surprise?
- Surprise. - Surprise.
It's tonight at the Shrieky Tiki.
Oh, uh, tonight?
8:00 sharp. Be square, be there.
Oh, yeah. Count me in.
Yeah, I actually have, uh, something tonight.
Something very important. Can't be changed.
Oh...
Oh, it's too bad that you won't be there, Tylor.
I'm making a big announcement,
one that is going to affect everyone.
A big announcement?
Retirement? Sir.
I hope you'll remember who was loyal around here
and who was not.
My time has come. I must call Mother.
So what are the big plans, Double T?
The big, uh... Oh, well...
You know what? Look at the time.
We've got to... We've got to get to that Laugh Floor, huh?
They are not paying us to watch TV.
Whoo!
Hmm.
So, are you ready to tell me what your big, secret plans are now?
Mmm.
Is this flavor new? Tastes like sour milk.
Mmm. So good.
You ready to tell me now?
Jeez. No.
You ready to tell me now?
Or now...
Or now!
Why is it so important that I tell you what my plans are anyway?
Red light!
Because we're best friends, Tylor.
I tell you everything about my life.
You know what? Forget it.
If you really don't want to tell me what your big, secret plans are, that's cool.
Thank you.
- I know what you're doing. - Hmm? What?
What? What am I doing?
Cute.
Hmm. What am I doing?
What am I doing?
- What am I doing? - Fine, fine. Fine. You win.
You want to know what I'm doing tonight? I'm having dinner with
Johnny Worthington.
Johnny Worthington!
- FearCo Johnny Worthington? - Hey! Quiet, quiet, quiet.
We talked a little at the C.R.E.E.P. show, and afterwards he invited me to dinner.
- Uh-uh. - Well, uh, his assistant did.
Oh, my gosh. What do you think he wants?
I think he just wants to get to know me.
Think Johnny wants to be your BFF?
Because he should know we're BFFs. And that last "F" means forever.
- So you're stuck with me, well, forever. - Ooh!
Oh, oh, that's what you're worried about?
Val, come on. You and I are a team, Okay?
I am not going anywhere.
Pinky swear?
Pinky swear.
- Huh. - What?
I never noticed, but for a huge monster, you've got incredibly tiny hands.
Uh, they are perfectly normal-sized, thank you very much.
Sure. Right.
- But... - Aw, so teeny.
Hmm. Hmm, hmm, hmm.
Mr. Worthington has not arrived yet.
Michel. (SNAPS FINGERS) Table.
Ah, oui. Right this way, monsieur.
You make my four hearts beat faster, my love.
Are your kids gonna eat?
Happy anniversary, dear.
I love you the mostest. Yes, I do.
Monsieur.
Ah. Thank you very much.
- That is Mr. Worthington's seat. - Oh, it is? So sorry.
I'll just, uh... I'll just move over here.
That was the seat, not me.
- Hmm. - See? Look. Huh?
- And there he is. - Oh.
Tylor Tuskmon.
Oh, Mr. Worth... Oh!
Uh, so, so, Johnny. I'm so, so sorry.
Sorry I kept you waiting. Look at you in a suit.
Looking sharp, kid.
Thanks. It's my grandfather's.
He's dead.
- Oh, I'm sorry. - Don't be.
He died a long time ago, so it's not sad.
I mean, you know, it was sad at the time.
Is this going well? I feel like I'm over-sharing.
- You are. - Uh...
Long day. Let's order some drinks, shall we?
Yes, let's. I mean, you know, if that's standard protocol.
I mean, I don't know.
No. No, no, no, no, no.
- Oh. - No, no, no, no.
No drinks? Okay.
Excuse me. Come on, Sulley. Let's go. Come on. Class it up.
Want to start with some appetizers?
- Oh, no. - Not an appetizer fan either?
No, no, no. Yeah, no. Appetizers are great.
I love app... I just... I need to wash my hands.
That's, that's, uh, standard protocol.
Excuse me.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no. Why are you here?
Whoa! I thought you were going to the Shrieky Tiki.
We did. But then Roze said tiki bars were cloying reminders
of the dangers of cultural appropriation.
We couldn't live with ourselves if we stayed.
- So you came here? - I didn't know you'd be here.
If you recall, you weren't exactly forthcoming this morning.
Oh, by the way, you have to try the phlegm brulée.
I hear it's... (BLOWS KISS) chef's kiss.
Okay. It's all gonna be okay.
No one saw me. We just have to...
- Ty-Ty! - Oops.
You canceled your very important plans for me
and even came to the wrong restaurant knowing we'd end up here.
Wowie, you're good!
Uh, yeah. Yeah, I know you love a good surprise.
You look spiffy, but you're dressed all wrong.
You know, working at MIFT these past 40 years
has been like a vacation for me every day.
So I asked everyone to dress like they were coming to my beach party!
Oh, I'm having a beach party!
And if any of you want to feel a nice ocean breeze,
I'm happy to blow in your face.
Oh, I'm so glad you came because we're about to start the toasts.
Sulley, forget you were part of one of the worst moments in television history.
Just relax and, you know, have a drink.
When I sing scareoke...
...people are not gonna know what hit them.
Okay, so I think I have a plan.
Me, too. You need to clone yourself.
What? No. I was thinking I'd go and wrap things up with Johnny.
- Then once he leaves... - Clone yourself.
No, you can help make sure I don't get caught.
Okay, since the science doesn't exist for my plan yet, let's do yours.
We're a go for operation "Don't Get Caught."
- Does it need a name? - Of course.
We'll probably need code names. I'll be Unicorn Sparkle.
- You can be Donut Head. - Donut Head?
I'm not sure we need code names for this.
Fine. I'll be Donut Head, but it makes no sense.
Wish me luck.
Hands are clean and very normal-sized.
I hope you don't mind. I took the liberty of ordering.
I can tell you feel uncomfortable here, so let me cut to the chase.
When I saw you in our Scare Simulator at the C.R.E.E.P. show,
I knew I was watching something special.
You could be one of the greats.
A legend.
A legend?
Well, yeah, I don't know about that.
Hey, don't be so modest.
You know, you remind me a lot of myself when I was your age.
- I do? - After I graduated Monsters U...
Thanks, that's...
...my father wanted me to join the family company.
- I said, "Join FearCo? Ugh." - Oh. You're still going.
"Dad, that's your thing." But he said,
"Scaring is our thing."
- Thank you. I'm... That's enough. - Oui, monsieur.
My father always said, "You can't escape who you are, so just embrace it."
Just embrace it.
And to this day,
I carry a memento around to remember that.
Whoa! Your dad's rookie card?
- That's... that's worth a fortune. - That's why I always keep it right here.
It reminds me where I came from.
You know, we're a Feartune 500 company now,
but I guess I still see FearCo as a little family business.
- Tylor? - Oh, uh, family business.
We have a hardware store.
Uh-huh.
Do you wanna work in a hardware store?
Or do you want to be a top Scarer at FearCo?
That's why I invited you to dinner. I wanna offer you a job.
- Job? - A job.
A job. Like a "job" job?
That's... Wow. That... You just... Okay, let me just dry off
and I will get right back to you.
Job, job, FearCo job.
Okay, okay.
A scarer job at FearCo.
That's good. That's... Is that good?
That poem and this interpretive dance
merely scratch the surface of what Fritz means to me.
Someone who inspires us to greatness every day.
To Fritz!
Phew! I would not want to follow that.
- Tylor. You're up. - Whoa.
Uh...
Huh? Oh...
Okay, well, uh, first, you know, everything Roger said.
Uh, what? Stretch?
What are you... What are you... Fritz is stretchy? Uh...
Oh, uh, Fritz,
you know, is flexible,
a very important trait in a leader.
Uh, you know, I used to work with him at MIFT,
but now I'm a Jokester, and I am really, really happy there.
- Hmm. - Uh, mostly.
I mean, no one loves their job every day.
Um, well, you know, except maybe Fritz.
Yes, I absolutely do.
Uh, anyway, uh, yeah,
I always saw Fritz as a father figure,
so I am reminded of something my own father used to say.
Uh, yeah, he used to say,
"You can't escape who you are..."
I can't escape this toast.
"You, you can't escape who you are, so just embrace it."
I gotta pee.
That was weird, right?
Ah, all dry now. Sorry about that.
And, uh... Oh, yes, yeah, I brought you a drink.
Uh, it's half-full.
Half-full because I am an optimist.
Thanks. Look, I'm sure my offer came out of the blue.
I didn't mean to overwhelm you, but I wrote down what a starting salary
as a FearCo Scarer would look like.
Oh, wow, that's...
Look at all the zeroes you put on the end of those numbers.
Trust me, you're worth it.
Ahem. Pardon.
A call for Monsieur Tuskmon.
- For me? - Oui.
Sure. Yes. Um...
- Hello. - Donut Head. It's Unicorn Sparkle.
Uh, sorry, I... I need to take this.
- No problem. - It's, um, a lady.
It's Unicorn Sparkle.
I mean, it's my mom. My mom, of course, is a lady.
What? No, this is Val. Those were our code names, remember?
- Your mom calls you Donut Head? - What's going on?
We're taking a picture and Fritz wants you in it.
Ugh. Fine. Okay, just, uh, tell him I'll be right there.
Tell him yourself. You're right in front of me.
Bye.
Ty-Ty. Val. Come on. We've been waiting for ya.
Nice tie, Tuskmon.
Okay, let's hurry up and take this picture,
so Fritz can tell us he's retiring.
All right. First, the lighting and the composition must be perfect.
Happy. Yes! Happier!
You can do it!
No, no, no, no, no.
These are uninspired garbage.
We must dig deeper.
Wow. Looks like we got ourselves a real professional.
Oh, I am very happy with this one.
Who is this gorgeous creature in front of me?
Great. Thanks again.
Now, we must take a silly one.
- Silly one? - Silly one.
This guy's a pro.
Three, two, one. Silly!
Now you're afraid. There is something chasing you.
Now you are chasing something.
Now you really need to use the restroom, but it is closed.
Now they opened it again. Closed it. Opened it. Closed it.
People are laughing at you. You're ashamed.
You ate something that does not agree with you,
but you agree with it.
You just ate something crunchy...
Mmm Mmm. Mmm.
So how's your mom?
Uh, she's okay, I guess. Uh, why?
- Well, she just called you. - Oh, right, that.
Yeah, she's just... She's co-dependent. So always calling.
I think I see what's going on here.
- You do? - You're playing hardball.
- No, no. - I respect the move.
Never take the first offer.
- Very smart. - Hmm...
So, what do you say now?
Oh, excusez-moi, Monsieur Tuskmon.
Your car is being towed, because it's on fire.
Dangerous fire.
So big, so fiery. Not très bon.
So you need to move it right away.
Come with me. Excusez-moi. Pardonnez-moi.
- Uh, waiter. Can I order some... - No!
This place really is French.
Towing a car on fire? That's what you came up with?
I was thinking on my feet. Anyway, we're about to start scareoke,
and Fritz wants to sing with everyone, including you.
- What song do you want? - I don't know. Anything.
- Screamie In a Bottle? - Really? Is that even in your range?
Sorry about that.
It, uh, turns out it wasn't even my car being towed.
- Hmm. And on fire. - And on fire.
Yep, yep. Not my car, because I don't, uh, even have a car.
You know, I just, uh, just remembered that.
Wow! Smells good in here.
Is that screamed spinach?
- Ooh. - That waiter.
That was your friend from the football game, wasn't it?
You think my friend is a waiter here?
Uh, no, I seriously doubt it.
Tylor. I know everyone who works here.
Tell her she's gotta work on her accent.
Hey, I see what this is.
Yeah. I... Sorry. This was all a...
An elaborate ruse to get you a company car. Am I right?
- Guilty. - Let me guess.
You probably want something with a lot of power.
- Vroom, vroom. - You can see by these speed lines,
it'll be very fast.
Ugh, seriously?
What is going on?
- What? - What? You don't hear that?
Uh, maybe, yeah. I... I hear some...
I'm so sorry. It's never this loud in here.
- I'll take care... - No, no, no.
Let me handle this.
You know what? Why not get a dessert going?
I hear the phlegm brulée is... chef's kiss.
Uh, you probably knew that. Uh, be right back.
Occupied.
Sleepin' soundly right here
And now we'll creep in and fill his night with fear
So bring your big roar and your sharp claws too
We're gonna scare this kid and his sister, too
Come on, now...
- What the... - That's a bit rude.
Oh, Tylor did it.
- What gives? It was just getting good. - Just getting good?
Uh, yeah. Yeah. Sorry.
Well, I... I just... I shut that off because, um... Fritz! Fritz!
Hey, didn't you have a big announcement to make?
That's right. Your big announcement.
Everyone quiet!
Fritz, the floor is yours.
Okay. Thank you all for this wonderful party.
Wow, this is hard.
Today isn't just my 40th work anniversary.
It's also the end of an era for me.
Now, some of you have probably been expecting this for a while.
But here we go.
I am cutting back to one Drooler Cooler a day.
Huh?
I didn't think I could get through that.
Oi, you said we'd pop 'em after he made the big announcement.
I meant when he announced his retirement.
I'm not retiring.
Not retiring? But...
I'm not getting your job?
Oh, boy. I can't afford that hot tub.
I bought three hot tubs. I gotta call Mother.
Ugh, she's gotta cancel the order.
Ugh. Get outta my way!
Mmm-hmm.
- Uh... - Sullivan.
- Johnny? - Well, Johnny Worthington.
To what do we owe the displeasure?
I was just having dinner by myself.
Probably because no one likes you. Mike.
Look, I get why you're mad.
What happened on Jack and Jill this morning...
- That wasn't fair. I'm sorry. - Huh. I appreciate that.
Oh! And congrats on your presentation at C.R.E.E.P.
I heard it got a lot of buzz.
We really should sit down and talk about how we could work together.
Maybe kickstart an energy roundtable.
You know, see if Laugh Power has potential.
Potential? Ha! Of course it has potential.
It's the future.
Thanks, Johnny. I'd like that.
Hi. Johnny Worthington.
- It was, uh, Taylor, right? - Oh, um, Tylor.
Sorry. Tylor.
Yeah, no, I... I get, uh, I get Taylor a lot, so...
Nice to see you.
I hope we bump into each other again soon.
Good night, everybody.
Bye. Yeah.
I'd like to bump into you. In my car.
You're not actually gonna sit down with that no-neck narcissist, are you?
Mikey. He's a changed monster.
College was 20 years and 200 pounds ago.
Maybe we can bring some laughs to FearCo.
- Ugh. - Oh!
I think you're up at scareoke again.
I Scare You, Babe?
Wow. We really got to update these songs.
Okay? All right. I'll go sing it.
But then we're talking more about Johnny.
Maybe I'll sing it twice.
Got to feel out the room.
Oh.
- Did you taste this? - Mmm-hmm. Sure did.
Chef's kiss.
I can't believe we pulled this off.
I couldn't have done Operation "Don't Get Caught" without you.
Think we can keep our code names?
Uh, only if I get to be Unicorn Sparkle.
You left this in the closet, monsieur.
Oh, uh, right.
Pardonnez-moi, monsieur. We are closing, and as you can see, I have plans.
Oh!
We'll take our food to go.
Pierre.
What's that?
Huh. It's Johnny's Scare card.
He, uh, must have dropped it.
Okay, so... Tell me everything.
What did Johnny want?
Uh, he offered me a job
as a Scarer at FearCo.
What? What did you tell him?
Things got so crazy,
I didn't have a chance to answer.
Well, what are you gonna tell him?
This goes out to all you lovers out there.
We scare them young 'cause we all know
We scare them now before they grow
For human kids
That may be true
But you scared me and, baby, I scared you
Ahh! I just got scared again.
Babe
I scare you, babe
They say our roars aren't very strong
Before we go
We show them they are wrong
I guess we'll have to prove 'em right
So we'll slink around and scare them tonight
Babe
I scare you, babe
I got terror in my dreams...
I just dream of you.
I got phlegm...
I can see it.
Within my screams
And when I growl you turn red...
I'm yellow.
Let's scare these kids from beneath the bed
Don't let them say your spikes are too long
They're spooky and your breath is really strong...
Oh, thank you.
So strong, it goes to the gym.
So put your little claw in mine
Together, we will scare them all the time
- Babe - Oh, baby
I scare you, babe
I scare you, babe...
You belong on a stage.
I got you to hold my claws
I got you, your furry paws
I got you to slink with me
I got you to stink with me
I got you to kiss at night...
You know my number.
I got you I'm filled with fright
I got you, my fur's aglow
I got you to scare me so...
That's romantic.
I got you, babe.
I scare you, babe...
I scare you,
- you scare me so much more. - It's mutual.
I scare you, baby...
Oh!
I scare you, baby...
You're getting the biggest tip later.
I scare you, baby...
Oh, yeah.
I scare you, baby
No. You scare me less.
My life is one endless nightmare since I met you.
I love it!
Pierre, you're a little pitchy, but it was good.