Narrator: Ah, the elixir of life.
So precious,
and yet in a world of haves and have-nots,
not everyone gets to have.
But what happens when the haves
don't have the same things the nots haven't had?
Well, the Three Busy Debras just won't have that.
♪♪
[ Chuckles ]
♪♪
It's the strangest thing.
Normally, when I turn on the faucet, milk comes out,
but today, when I turn on the faucet, no milk comes out.
It's the strangest thing.
Well, hurry up and be a plumber. We are getting thirsty.
Honey, don't talk to me till I've had my morning white.
♪♪
This just in. My worst fears have come true.
My co-host and I are wearing the same outfit,
and neither of us are willing to change.
[ Clears throat ]
In other news, Lemoncurd's milk supply
is at an all-time low due to an unprecedented drought
that shows no sign of stopping. [ All gasp ]
The Lemoncurd milk brigade will be rationing out milk
at the reservoir until further notice.
[ All sigh ] Well, that doesn't apply to us.
We're not people. We're Debras.
Let's go take what we deserve,
which is everything we want and more.
♪♪
One jug of milk per family.
I repeat, one jug per family
But we'll starve.
We're all going to have to make sacrifices,
but I promise you,
I'll get through this.
Excuse me? Why are you standing in this way,
one right after the other?
We're waiting in line.
Line? Line.
Feels funny to say, but what does it mean?
It means we have to wait our turn to get some milk.
[ Scoffs ] Waiting for something I want?
Next, you're going to tell me
I have to wait for something I need.
Ugh.
Excuse me.
You need to wait your turn like everybody else.
[ Gasping ]
Are you okay? I will be. Someday.
You're going to regret this, or my name isn't Debra,
and I'm pretty sure it is.
Not to worry, ladies.
I know exactly how we'll get that milk.
Shoulders back. Knees up.
Right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left.
One, two. Let's go. Debras, faster, faster.
How are we supposed to make this last for a whole week?
I don't know, Officer Wife.
There's not even enough milk for Officer Son.
At this rate, he'll be dead by Tuesday.
And today's Monday, so that's really
not a lot of time. [ Whimpers ]
Officer Dad, is there milk in heaven?
I don't know, Officer Son.
You'll have to let me know when you get there.
I will.
[ Crying ]
[ Snoring ]
I promise, I'm going to fix this.
[ Snoring continues ]
♪♪
Okay, Debras, the heist begins now.
Everyone state your assignment and one fun fact about yourself.
I'll hack into the mainframe using top-of-the-line software,
and one fun fact about me is there's nothing fun about me.
I'll be the Debra on the ground,
and a fun fact about me is my favorite food is...
I'm young for my grade because I have a late birthday,
and I'm going to distract the security guard
doing what I do best.
♪♪
[ Whispering ] It's a go.
Copy that.
[ Bones cracking ]
Aah!
We're in.
Debra that, Roger.
[ Breathing heavily ]
♪♪
[ Lever squeaks ]
Debras, I did it!
The heist is complete!
Both: Whoo-hoo! Yay!
Man: Oh, oh, God.
Oh. Oh.
Please help us.
I'm out of a job. I worked in milk.
My mother died of dehydration.
She was only 102.
She had so much life left to live.
[ British accent ] How am I supposed to eat me cookie?!
[ Woman gags, coughing ]
Walk with me.
[ People crying ]
What am I looking at here?
A big tank.
But it used to be a big tank of milk.
Got robbed last night.
What kind of sicko would do such a thing?
Hmm.
Hitler. He's a bad guy.
I wouldn't put it past him.
Let's put him down as suspect number one.
What is it, boss?
Not sure, but it might be a clue.
Take it down to the station and run it for prints.
We've got a long night ahead of us.
♪ Milk, milk ♪
[ Debra #1 laughs ]
[ Cork pops ]
Cheers to a job well done.
The milk may be 2%, but we have 100% of it.
Nothing tastes as good as milk steals.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
♪ Milk ♪
♪ Milk, milk, milk, milk ♪
Alright, computer, work your magic.
[ Beep ] Initiating computer magic.
Come on.
Why are you making me wait?
Give it.
[ Groans ]
Give it to me.
[ Ding ] 100% match.
Yes.
The Debras.
It's always who you'd least expect.
Calling all units to Debra's house.
Woman: Oh, Debra's house.
I've been dying to see the remodel.
I know.
They've been working on it for months.
[ People chanting, "We want milk!" ]
[ Gasps ] What's that sound?
[ Chanting continues ]
They're coming for us.
To the armory!
[ All screaming ]
[ Chanting continues ]
-Give us the milk. -You're killing us!
We do not negotiate with terrorists.
Oh, yeah?
[ Spectators gasp, scream ]
[ Laughs ]
Forgive them, father. They know not what they do.
[ Gasps ] The humanity!
We have to give in. The stakes are too high.
Like a filet mignon on a shelf.
God damn it, now's not the time for a perfect joke.
Just tell us what you want. I beg of you.
So, ladies, what do we want?
♪♪
We're actually all set.
We'll just take the check. Thank you.
[ All gasp ]
[ Crying ]
Why are you doing this to us?
Because we didn't want to wait in line!
[ Laughter ]
[ Crying ]
[ Laughter continues ]
[ Crying continues ]
Wait. Th-This might sound crazy,
but maybe we don't need to use milk for everything.
I have this bag of pills. Maybe it'll help your son.
[ People gasp, cheer ]
[ Gasps ]
Hey, I have this soap.
Maybe we can use this to wash our hands.
How's about you use this here spot of gasoline
to make your car go vroom, innit?
Also also why don't we try drinking water?
[ Cheers ]
[ Gasps ]
Hey! Include us in the nice thing!
Ladies, you can keep the milk to yourselves.
I think we're going to be just fine without it.
[ Laughter and cheers ]
"We're going to be just fine." Grow up.
♪♪
[ Gasps ] This tastes like nothing.
♪♪
I'm so [gags] grateful we got what we wanted.
[ Retches ]
Debra, you have to give me the recipe for this
so that I can make it for myself.
Of course.
It's rotten milk tossed in a rotten-milk vinaigrette.
Well, I love it.
[ Ting! ]
Well, time to go back to me own planet.
♪♪