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Narrator:  Welcome to Lemoncurd,

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a charming town
full of charming people

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leading charming lives
and eating charming food.

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In this town
live three very busy women

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who are all named Debra.

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And that's not all.

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Oh, wait! Yes, it is!

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[ Laughter ]

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♪♪

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Debra, your hilarious story
reminded me

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that I have
a better one.

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It's so funny,
and it's so long!

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So, my husband went to
the doctor and found out

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that we have
a cholesterol problem.

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As a result,
we started eating oatmeal!

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Debra, that is so funny!

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You have to stop.

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I just remembered something
that happened on the way here.

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I forgot because I was so busy
walking inside.

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So,
what happened is that...

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♪♪

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♪♪

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[ Shrieks, giggles ]

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[ Shrieks ]

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♪♪

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[ Cars dinging ]

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We killed
your pool boy!

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He died instantly.

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Did you at least
clean up the mess?

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No. I figured the pool boy
would clean it up.

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He didn't?

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Oh, he is so fired.

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[ Sighs ] Thank God the cars
are fine, but, Debras,

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I can't believe
you could be so careless.

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[ All chuckle ]

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Oh, oh, oh,
well, well, well,

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looks like we got quite
a little mess here, huh?

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You know what we do with women
who make a mess in public?

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We turn a blind eye?

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We tie their tubes!
It's the law.

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But a Debra must be able to
conceive at a moment's notice.

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Well, you should have
thought of that earlier!

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Once I report you to our heroic
law enforcement,

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it's only a matter of time

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until the town tube-tier
comes a-knocking.

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Have a blessed day.

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Thank you!

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He's so nice!

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I love the way
he talks to us.

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Get serious, Debra!

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This is serious.

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Our legacy
is on the line.

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We only have a couple hours
to make this go away.

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Of course. I'll take care
of the cops.

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I met one once.

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Both: Wow!

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[ Panting ]

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It would be my privilege
to dispose of the body.

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I love garbage.

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And I'll honor
the pool boy's memory

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by replacing him
immediately.

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Debra, what happens
if we get caught?

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It's my house.
It's my brunch.

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I'm the reason we're all here
in this position today,

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so if someone needs to take
the fall and get her tubes tied,

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I think
it should be you.

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Me too.

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There's nothing in my life
worth saving.

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Yeah.

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Whatever.

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♪♪

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Hi.

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I'm Debra.

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Nice to meet you.

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Hello! How may the police
help you today?

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I would love to talk my way
out of trouble.

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Of course!

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Fill out this form.

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Ah!

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Man:
Now let off of this, okay?

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I want it so bad,
I can taste it!

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Here you go.

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Make sure
you take care of this.

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[ Laughs ]

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Time to take matters
into my own hands.

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I don't care what you do.

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♪♪

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Ah!

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[ Clattering ]

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♪♪

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♪♪

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I've never disposed of someone
so handsome before.

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Don't judge me.

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It's not usually this messy
in here.

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[ Laughs ]

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Do you know my husband?

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He's also dead.

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Israel or Palestine?

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No wrong answers.

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You're crazy.

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I hope I'm not
coming on too strong,

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but I haven't connected
with someone like this

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in a really long time.

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[ Grunting ]

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[ Groans ]

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Looks like we're gonna need
a bigger purse.

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[ Whistle blows ]

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Okay, men!

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Only the strongest will prevail
to become my next pool boy.

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It's an honor
just to be nominated.

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I can lift a car!

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But can you [bleep] me
like a car?

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That's right.
I'm cheating on my husband,

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and that's okay
in my world.

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♪♪

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Let the games begin!

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♪♪

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Careful, kid.
Don't fall in love with me.

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Let's dance.

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♪♪

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Sorry, sweetheart.

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I'm too old for you.

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Get out of here.

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[ Sniffing ]

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There's something I like
about you.

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♪♪

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Thanks!
I really needed this!

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My brother died today.

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♪♪

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♪♪

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♪♪

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It's perfect.
I'll take it.

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Are you sure?

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It's really expensive.

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I know it's expensive.

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Why else do you think
I came to an emporium?

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♪♪

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Exact change, nice touch.

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Would you like this bag
delivered to your house?

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Of course!

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Bob!

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Whee!

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Good work, boys,
guys, men.

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Everybody is
looking at crimes.

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I'm a cop.

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I need this for a case,
you know, cop stuff.

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Of course I know cop stuff.

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[ Both bark ]

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Man: All hands on deck!

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We got a 1, 2, 3, 4
and a 5, 6, 7, 8 --

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big female mess
on Boulevard Lane.

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I never thought
I'd see the day!

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All my years
on the force.

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♪♪

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Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry.

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[ Grunting ]

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♪♪

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♪♪

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Wait for me.

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Debra #1: Hurry up!
We got to clean up this mess

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before the law arrives!

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That pavement better shine
like the top

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of the Chrysler Building!

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[ Laughing ]

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♪♪

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Dispatcher approaching
the 1, 2, 3, 4

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and 5, 6, 7, 8.

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-Copy.
-Paste.

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[ Panting ]

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They're closing in on us!

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Those Debras made a mess!

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Tie them up, boys!

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Not so fast!

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I don't see a mess
anywhere.

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All I see is a genuine
sheepskin rug

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and a gorgeous woman
in the prime of her life.

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Well, I'm convinced.

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Nothing to see here.
Case closed.

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And you, you wasted
valuable resources

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and falsified
a police report,

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and for that, you get a medal,
Mr. Cool.

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Yeah!

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Yeah!

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At this rate, you'll be
the mayor in no time.

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Debras, I did it!

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I hid the body,

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the dead body
of the pool boy we killed.

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[ Crying ]

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[ Fire crackling ]

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♪♪

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We did it, ladies.

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No, we did it.

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Well, thank God
this is over

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because now we can finally
hear the end

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of Debra's
awesome oatmeal story.

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Oh, yes! Where was I?

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You know what? I better just
start from the beginning.

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Yes! Yes!

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So, my husband
went to the doctor

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and found out that we have
a cholesterol problem.

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As a result,
we started eating oatmeal!

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I measure out the amount
every morning,

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1/2 a cup of oats
and 1/3 cup of...

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I'll get your tubes tied
if it's the last thing I do!

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Why?

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Because I'm mean.

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[ Laughter ]

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The oatmeal was
the wrong amount.

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Oh!

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By the way, Debras,

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Merry Christmas!

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-Ah!
-Oh!

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[ Squeals ]

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[ Camera shutter clicks ]

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So, what's for brunch
tomorrow?

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Yesterday's eggs.

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Does that make them
today's eggs?
Yes.

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Both: Oh, hello, Debra!

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00:10:44,034 --> 00:10:45,166
Debra looks amazing.

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I, like,
want to [bleep] Debra.

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♪♪

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♪♪