Narrator: Welcome to Lemoncurd,
a charming town full of charming people
leading charming lives and eating charming food.
In this town live three very busy women
who are all named Debra.
And that's not all.
Oh, wait! Yes, it is!
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
Debra, your hilarious story reminded me
that I have a better one.
It's so funny, and it's so long!
So, my husband went to the doctor and found out
that we have a cholesterol problem.
As a result, we started eating oatmeal!
Debra, that is so funny!
You have to stop.
I just remembered something that happened on the way here.
I forgot because I was so busy walking inside.
So, what happened is that...
♪♪
[ Shrieks, giggles ]
[ Shrieks ]
♪♪
[ Cars dinging ]
We killed your pool boy!
He died instantly.
Did you at least clean up the mess?
No. I figured the pool boy would clean it up.
He didn't?
Oh, he is so fired.
[ Sighs ] Thank God the cars are fine, but, Debras,
I can't believe you could be so careless.
[ All chuckle ]
Oh, oh, oh, well, well, well,
looks like we got quite a little mess here, huh?
You know what we do with women who make a mess in public?
We turn a blind eye?
We tie their tubes! It's the law.
But a Debra must be able to conceive at a moment's notice.
Well, you should have thought of that earlier!
Once I report you to our heroic law enforcement,
it's only a matter of time
until the town tube-tier comes a-knocking.
Have a blessed day.
Thank you!
He's so nice!
I love the way he talks to us.
Get serious, Debra!
This is serious.
Our legacy is on the line.
We only have a couple hours to make this go away.
Of course. I'll take care of the cops.
I met one once.
Both: Wow!
[ Panting ]
It would be my privilege to dispose of the body.
I love garbage.
And I'll honor the pool boy's memory
by replacing him immediately.
Debra, what happens if we get caught?
It's my house. It's my brunch.
I'm the reason we're all here in this position today,
so if someone needs to take the fall and get her tubes tied,
I think it should be you.
Me too.
There's nothing in my life worth saving.
Yeah.
Whatever.
♪♪
Hi.
I'm Debra.
Nice to meet you.
Hello! How may the police help you today?
I would love to talk my way out of trouble.
Of course!
Fill out this form.
Ah!
Man: Now let off of this, okay?
I want it so bad, I can taste it!
Here you go.
Make sure you take care of this.
[ Laughs ]
Time to take matters into my own hands.
I don't care what you do.
♪♪
Ah!
[ Clattering ]
♪♪
I've never disposed of someone so handsome before.
Don't judge me.
It's not usually this messy in here.
[ Laughs ]
Do you know my husband?
He's also dead.
Israel or Palestine?
No wrong answers.
You're crazy.
I hope I'm not coming on too strong,
but I haven't connected with someone like this
in a really long time.
[ Grunting ]
[ Groans ]
Looks like we're gonna need a bigger purse.
[ Whistle blows ]
Okay, men!
Only the strongest will prevail to become my next pool boy.
It's an honor just to be nominated.
I can lift a car!
But can you [bleep] me like a car?
That's right. I'm cheating on my husband,
and that's okay in my world.
♪♪
Let the games begin!
♪♪
Careful, kid. Don't fall in love with me.
Let's dance.
♪♪
Sorry, sweetheart.
I'm too old for you.
Get out of here.
[ Sniffing ]
There's something I like about you.
♪♪
Thanks! I really needed this!
My brother died today.
♪♪
It's perfect. I'll take it.
Are you sure?
It's really expensive.
I know it's expensive.
Why else do you think I came to an emporium?
♪♪
Exact change, nice touch.
Would you like this bag delivered to your house?
Of course!
Bob!
Whee!
Good work, boys, guys, men.
Everybody is looking at crimes.
I'm a cop.
I need this for a case, you know, cop stuff.
Of course I know cop stuff.
[ Both bark ]
Man: All hands on deck!
We got a 1, 2, 3, 4 and a 5, 6, 7, 8 --
big female mess on Boulevard Lane.
I never thought I'd see the day!
All my years on the force.
♪♪
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
[ Grunting ]
♪♪
Wait for me.
Debra #1: Hurry up! We got to clean up this mess
before the law arrives!
That pavement better shine like the top
of the Chrysler Building!
[ Laughing ]
♪♪
Dispatcher approaching the 1, 2, 3, 4
and 5, 6, 7, 8.
-Copy. -Paste.
[ Panting ]
They're closing in on us!
Those Debras made a mess!
Tie them up, boys!
Not so fast!
I don't see a mess anywhere.
All I see is a genuine sheepskin rug
and a gorgeous woman in the prime of her life.
Well, I'm convinced.
Nothing to see here. Case closed.
And you, you wasted valuable resources
and falsified a police report,
and for that, you get a medal, Mr. Cool.
Yeah!
At this rate, you'll be the mayor in no time.
Debras, I did it!
I hid the body,
the dead body of the pool boy we killed.
[ Crying ]
[ Fire crackling ]
♪♪
We did it, ladies.
No, we did it.
Well, thank God this is over
because now we can finally hear the end
of Debra's awesome oatmeal story.
Oh, yes! Where was I?
You know what? I better just start from the beginning.
Yes! Yes!
So, my husband went to the doctor
and found out that we have a cholesterol problem.
As a result, we started eating oatmeal!
I measure out the amount every morning,
1/2 a cup of oats and 1/3 cup of...
I'll get your tubes tied if it's the last thing I do!
Why?
Because I'm mean.
[ Laughter ]
The oatmeal was the wrong amount.
Oh!
By the way, Debras,
Merry Christmas!
-Ah! -Oh!
[ Squeals ]
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
So, what's for brunch tomorrow?
Yesterday's eggs.
Does that make them today's eggs? Yes.
Both: Oh, hello, Debra!
Debra looks amazing.
I, like, want to [bleep] Debra.
♪♪