1
00:00:04,308 --> 00:00:09,139
Every family has a good egg
and a bad egg.

2
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:13,274
It can be hard
to tell which is which.

3
00:00:13,274 --> 00:00:16,799
Sometimes, you have to eat both
to find out.

4
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:24,067
Who wants eggs?
Me.

5
00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:26,504
Okay, ladies, today is a day
that will live in infamy.

6
00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:27,984
[ Sighs ]

7
00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:29,855
My older sister, Barbra,
is coming to visit.

8
00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:32,206
Barbra?
Isn't she in jail?

9
00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:33,642
Was in jail.

10
00:00:33,642 --> 00:00:35,209
I didn't know
you had a sister.

11
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:38,125
Only by blood.
I identify as an only child.

12
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,865
Every time my sister
comes to visit,

13
00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:41,737
she makes my life
a nightmare.

14
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:44,609
Well, I, for one,
can't wait to hate her.

15
00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:48,222
Nothing brings women closer
together than a common enemy.

16
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,750
Hey, there,
little sis.

17
00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:56,099
Barbra,
how did you get in here?

18
00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:57,666
I changed
all the locks.

19
00:00:57,666 --> 00:01:00,321
I always carry
my own knob.

20
00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:05,108
Oh, I'm Barbra,
but you can call me Babs.

21
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:08,764
Both: I'm Debra,
but you can call me Dabs.

22
00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:10,548
Barbra,
why are you here?

23
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:13,508
Why are any of us here,
man?

24
00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:15,075
Other than to love.

25
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,119
That's my chair.

26
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:18,600
You can stand,
right?

27
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,428
Yes.
I love standing.

28
00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:24,301
I don't know if you remember,
but I actually won best stander.

29
00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:25,520
I'll go get
the trophy.

30
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,610
Ooh, I think Debby needs
a chill pill.

31
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,133
Am I right?

32
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:32,004
[ Whispers ] This whole place
is bugged.

33
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:35,704
[ Laughs ]
I'm not scared of her.

34
00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:38,402
You know she wet the bed
until she was 43?

35
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:40,056
Wait,
how old is Debra?

36
00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:43,277
You know, Debra took
a chicken nugget to prom.

37
00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:44,626
[ Laughter ]

38
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:48,586
Both:
Chicken kisser, chicken kisser.

39
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:51,241
Well, did you guys know that
Barbra went to jail for arson?

40
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:56,377
Yeah, Arson was my ex,
and I burned his house down.

41
00:01:56,377 --> 00:01:58,030
Cool.

42
00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,294
Did he die?
Was he nice?

43
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:02,034
Why don't I tell you
all about it

44
00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:07,518
over a hot, steaming mug of beer
and a cup of cold corn?

45
00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:10,260
Uh, they can't. We're actually
really busy eating eggs,

46
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:12,088
and it's gonna
take all day so...

47
00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:13,785
[ Whining ]
Please let us go.

48
00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:15,961
[ Whining ]
We've been so good.

49
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,746
What are you,
their mother?

50
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:22,098
No.
I'm their neighbor.

51
00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:23,665
Come on, Dabs.

52
00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:29,584
♪♪

53
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:35,546
♪♪

54
00:02:35,546 --> 00:02:36,982
Barbra.

55
00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:40,551
♪♪

56
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,336
Hey!

57
00:02:42,336 --> 00:02:44,686
Hey, everybody,
Barbra's back!

58
00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:47,906
All: Barbra!

59
00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:50,561
Did you miss us,
Barbra?

60
00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:54,435
How could I
not miss that?

61
00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:58,569
Everybody, give a nice,
warm welcome to my new friends,

62
00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:00,876
Debra and Debra.

63
00:03:00,876 --> 00:03:02,486
All: Deb, Deb, Debra!

64
00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:05,794
Oh, play nice, boys.

65
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:08,318
This is
their first rodeo.

66
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:10,929
Let's get our girls
some shots, eh?

67
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:13,584
What'll it be?
Whiskey, tequila,

68
00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:15,673
rabies, Gardasil?

69
00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:17,153
[ Both gasp ]

70
00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:18,763
Both: Gardasil!

71
00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,289
Stick with me, ladies.

72
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:25,161
The only rule is
there are no rules.

73
00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:27,816
And cash only.

74
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:29,121
Follow me.

75
00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:33,169
You haven't seen fun
until you've seen darts.

76
00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:36,738
All: Yeah!

77
00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:39,175
Welcome to
the circus.

78
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:43,614
[ Cheering ]

79
00:03:43,614 --> 00:03:50,621
♪♪

80
00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:57,541
♪♪

81
00:03:57,541 --> 00:04:00,283
[ Both vocalizing ]

82
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:03,939
♪ Debra, Debra, Debra,
Debra, Debra ♪

83
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,201
Understudies,
it's your lucky day.

84
00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:06,202
You're on in 5.

85
00:04:06,202 --> 00:04:07,943
[ Both gasp ]

86
00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:10,467
Thank you, 5! Thank you, 5!

87
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:13,122
I think it's time I told you
the real reason

88
00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:14,776
why I brought you here.

89
00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:16,473
I want you to be part
of my crew.

90
00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:18,127
But we already
have a crew.

91
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:20,564
We're Debras.
We don't take that lightly.

92
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:26,178
Why be a Debra when
you could be a Barbra?

93
00:04:26,178 --> 00:04:28,572
When you put it like that,
I'm in.

94
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:29,878
Me too.
How do we join?

95
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:32,489
It's easy.
Come with me.

96
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,888
Oh, sorry.

97
00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:44,501
[ Giggles ]

98
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:49,332
And acting.

99
00:04:50,681 --> 00:04:52,727
[ Clears throat ]

100
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:55,120
Okay, ladies,
today is a horrible day.

101
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:58,167
My older sister, Barbra,
is coming to visit.

102
00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:01,344
Ew, Barbara.
She makes me sick.

103
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:03,477
You are objectively
better than her.

104
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:06,131
I want her dead
and in the ground.

105
00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:08,046
Thank you for this
beautiful brunch.

106
00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:12,268
I'm excited to do
whatever you want today.

107
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:15,489
Good.

108
00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,404
Mmm.

109
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,840
Scene.

110
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:22,583
Oh, you were
brilliant back there.

111
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,367
I really believed
you were at brunch.

112
00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:27,762
I've been meaning to ask.
Did your boyfriend get his PhD?

113
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,372
This isn't working.

114
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:30,852
You're just agreeing
with everything that I say.

115
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:33,376
We're just working with
the material you provided.

116
00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:34,986
We are more than happy
to improvise.

117
00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:36,988
Look at this.
I'm a cat.

118
00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:38,425
Oh, my God.

119
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,601
It's not about the script,
which is perfect.

120
00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:42,167
I'm perfect.

121
00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:45,301
It's about the authenticity
of the characters,

122
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,868
and I realize now
the only people

123
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:51,394
that could pretend to be
my friends are my friends.

124
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:52,613
You're dismissed.

125
00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:55,442
Oh, this is
actually perfect.

126
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:56,747
I have a big audition
at 4:00.

127
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,183
Oh, I'll drive you.

128
00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,490
Oh, you're the best,
thank you so much.

129
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,274
Can we take the freeway?Yeah, absolutely.

130
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:04,886
I can tell
they're really hurting.

131
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:06,975
They're really good actors,

132
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:11,414
and I'm really good at writing,
directing, and producing.

133
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:14,548
♪♪

134
00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:18,769
[ Laughs ]

135
00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:20,205
I don't understand.

136
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:22,207
What could a convicted felon
possibly want

137
00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:24,427
from the Lemoncurd
Treasure Museum?

138
00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:25,776
I will tell you.

139
00:06:25,776 --> 00:06:28,736
Your first and final task
is to steal

140
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:32,566
the Lemoncurd
Declaration of Independence.

141
00:06:32,566 --> 00:06:34,002
Steal it?

142
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,438
But it's the most heavily
guarded artifact

143
00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,092
in all of Lemoncurd.

144
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:39,268
It's from when Lemoncurd
seceded from the whole world.

145
00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:40,487
Plus, it's illegal.

146
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:41,792
What if we get caught?

147
00:06:41,792 --> 00:06:44,012
Do you want to be
a Barbra or not?

148
00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:53,108
♪♪

149
00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:56,241
Oh, my God.
There it is.

150
00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:57,808
But how are we ever
going to get to it

151
00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,375
without
tripping the alarm?

152
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:04,728
♪♪

153
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,600
What about this?

154
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:15,391
♪♪

155
00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:17,828
Oh. I thought that sign
was a joke.

156
00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:24,879
♪♪

157
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:26,881
Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go!

158
00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:34,758
♪♪

159
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:36,760
-Barbra. Barbra.
-Barbra. Barbra.

160
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,154
Barbra, we did it.
We committed the crime.

161
00:07:39,154 --> 00:07:40,460
Can we be Barbras now?

162
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,896
Nice work, ladies.

163
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,506
[ Sirens wailing ]Wait.

164
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:47,118
Barbra, why are you
running away from the police?

165
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:48,990
Come back.
You're my best friend!

166
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,165
You're under arrest.

167
00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:53,995
No, no,
you're not being nice!

168
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:58,913
Where is she?
Where is Barbra?

169
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,305
She's long gone.

170
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:02,438
What did she do
with my Debras?

171
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:04,092
You mean the Barbras.

172
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:06,224
They're in the slammer.

173
00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:08,879
I knew something like this
would happen.

174
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:11,012
Everything Barbra touches
goes to jail.

175
00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:16,713
[ Shivers ]

176
00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,323
I'm freezing.

177
00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:21,457
I'm shivering.
It's so cold.

178
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,677
Jail is hell.

179
00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:25,809
We should probably
just die here.

180
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:29,813
[ Coughs ]

181
00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,685
This is all
Barbra's fault.

182
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:33,774
We should have
never left Debra.

183
00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:35,906
[ Doorbell rings ]You got that right.

184
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,473
Both: [ Gasp ] Debra!

185
00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:39,344
You came back for us!

186
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:41,999
I had no choice.
Your understudies were horrible.

187
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:44,132
And brunch wasn't
the same without you.

188
00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:45,481
Let's get you
out of here.

189
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:47,483
How did you
get past the guard?

190
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:49,790
If somebody would have told me
I'd lose my virginity today,

191
00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:52,706
I would have worn
different pants.

192
00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:55,012
Now, let's go get
my backstabbing sister.

193
00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:56,710
I know just where
to find her.

194
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:03,020
Barbra,
stop right there!

195
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,848
It's too late.

196
00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:08,069
I've got the Declaration
and the fastest mode

197
00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:10,985
of transportation known to man
at my disposal.

198
00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:13,074
You'll never catch me.

199
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:15,816
Why do you always come back
and try to ruin my life?

200
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:17,382
Because
you're a control freak

201
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,776
who thinks she's better
than everybody else.

202
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:23,388
And I'm the one thing
you could never control.

203
00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:24,999
Well,
that's where you're wrong.

204
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:26,827
You're under arrest.
Oh?

205
00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:28,393
You better say oink
'cause the pigs are here

206
00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:31,092
to take you to the pen,
you stinky, pink bitch.

207
00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:36,314
How dare you
utter my birth name

208
00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:38,447
in front of
my best friends?

209
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:41,232
Her name is
Stinky Pink Bitch?

210
00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:44,496
No wonder
she smells like shit.

211
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:47,195
Both: She's a stinky pink bitch
who smells like shit.

212
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:50,546
[ Laughs ]
Take her away!

213
00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:52,113
Forget the pig stuff.

214
00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:53,897
We're taking you to fish jail.

215
00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:55,464
Aaah!

216
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:59,990
-Whoo! Yeah!
-Yes! Yeah!

217
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:02,993
Now, who wants to eat
the Declaration of Independence?

218
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:04,691
Way ahead of you.

219
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,304
Now, that's  amore.

220
00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:11,915
[ Laughter ]

221
00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:21,577
♪♪

222
00:10:21,577 --> 00:10:31,021
♪♪

223
00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:40,422
♪♪