Narrator: Heavy is the Debra who wears the crown.
But a crown can slip off just as quickly as it is placed on.
This is the one time
a Debra doesn't want to shed a few pounds.
[ Clears throat ]
[ Humming ]
♪ Debras, it's time for brunch ♪
♪ Ah-ah ♪
♪ Debra's it's time for brunch ♪
[ Screams ]
Put me down!
Hey! Don't you know who I am?
I am a Debra!
[ Screams ]
♪♪
Debra, we're here.
Strange.
I don't hear the clip-clop of her hooves.
I'm worried. She's not under her chair.
It looks like there's been foul play.
Fowl play, huh?
Like that time we saw a bird perform "Hamlet."
No, worse than that.
I think Debra's in trouble.
Hm. I haven't seen that one.
♪♪
I've seen this before.
[ Gasps ] That's a symbol from
Debra's book I'm not allowed to touch.
♪♪
The book of Debra.
♪♪
Whoa.
♪♪
[ Gasps ]
This can only mean one thing.
She's been taken to the castle
of the Honorable Order of the Debras.
I don't understand. You half-wit!
It's where the most powerful Debras convene.
If she's been taken there, something must be very wrong.
[ British accent ] Aye. Let's go to the castle.
[ Muffled speaking ]
And furthermore, I will have you know
that I am fifth-generation Debra,
so you better let me go.
[ Scoffs ] Please.
I'm 19th generation,
so don't try to pull rank with me.
We're all Debras here.
[ Spits ]
Oh! You spit on your mother with that mouth?
Yes, and she loves it.
Silence!
This is a serious matter.
You have violated your sacred duty as a member of the order.
You have failed to produce a child by the age of --
Ah-ah-ah. You don't have to say it.
We all know how old I am.
Your ancient ovaries aside,
your disrespect for the Order will not be tolerated.
But I've been trying to have a baby.
I've been drinking my husband's cum every day for years.
Well, it's not working.
The Council must deliberate
as to what your punishment shall be.
The Council?
Yes. We must cleanse you
so that you can appear before them.
And judging by your vile stench,
it's gonna take a little while.
[ Groans ]
No, no! No! [ Screams ]
♪♪
[ Whining ] Debra, I'm hungry.
Can we please stop for a meal?
I told you to eat rocks.
They fill you up and don't break down for years.
[ Crunching ]
Whoa! A Chompitos tree!
[ Gasps ] I didn't know food could come from nature.
Hey, we're not allowed to eat snacks.
A Debra must always watch her figure.
You're not the boss of me. Debra is.
Ha-ha-ha. [ Scoffs ] Fine.
But if you throw off your waist-to-hips ratio,
we're both in trouble.
Now, come on. We're burning daylight.
♪♪
♪ Chips taste good ♪
♪ Chocolate tastes good ♪
♪ Two best friends on an exciting quest ♪
♪ We must save Debra before it's too late ♪
♪ And I'd say best friends is a bit of a stretch ♪
♪ We're on a journey to see our friend ♪
♪ Before she meets her untimely end ♪
Birds: Good luck, Debras.
Forest Woman: Who goes there?
We goes there.
[ Both scream ]
That's the oldest woman I've ever seen in my life!
That hag is wearing hideous rags
that are not doing her any favors.
She's a witch!
I was just sweeping
when I saw you girls eating Chompitos off my tree.
Sweeping the sky when you were riding the broom, were you?
I wanted to invite you in.
I've got a Chompitos cake in the oven.
Oh, just as I suspected.
You want to fatten us up and eat us, you fucking witch.
♪♪
Birds: You did what had to be done.
♪♪
You know, we really did her a favor.
No woman should live past the age of 30.
Promise me you'll kill me if I ever get that old.
Of course. I already know how I'm gonna do it.
[ Gasps ]
I dunk thee in the name of Debra.
[ Rubber duck squeaks ]
Hey, watch it.
It is now time to shavus the pubus.
No! No!
My life's work! No!
Oh, they'll be put to good use, dear.
All pubis extractum are donated to children in need.
[ Crying ] No!
[ Laughing ]
You must present a humble exterior
when you appear before the Council.
A potato sack.
May I at least belt it? I implore you.
No belts.
[ Gasps ] I can't cinch the waist?
But what about my curves?!
No!
[ Laughing ]
♪♪
Mama mia, that's a big-a building.
[ Dramatic sting ]
We must be brave, Debra.
We killed an old witch. We can do anything.
Trespassers, how dare you step foot
on these hallowed grounds?
And in those shoes?
[ Both laugh ]
Both: For Debra!
♪♪
[ Panting ]
The broom is mightier than the sword.
En garde!
♪♪
Hyah!
[ Both gasp ]
Say hello to my little...
[ Gnome shatters ]
Is show and tell over, girls?
[ Both whimpering ]
Please don't hurt us!
We were just trying to kill you.
You're coming with us.
[ Both scream ]
Council: [ Chanting ] Debra,
Debrae,
Debratum,
Debrus.
Bring her in.
Council: [ Chanting ] Debra...
For the high crime of failing to continue the bloodline,
you are now excommunicated
from the Honorable Order of the Debras.
Please have mercy on my wretched soul and perfect body.
Silence.
Extract the headband.
No! Please!
No! [ Screams ]
[ Crying ] No! No!
Lower the blade.
No. Please don't kill her.
She's just a baby.
No! [ Screaming ]
♪♪
For shame.
[ Door opens ]
Pardon the interruption, your Debras.
We found these two trespassing on the grounds.
What would you advise that we do
with these horrible little women?
Debras, you're not allowed in here.
How dare you try to save me?
Debra's been really mean to me all day
and not in a fun way like you.
Debra ate junk food. I told her not to.
[ Burps ] [ Gasps ]
How could you let Debra eat that junk?
You know it makes her fart out of her mouth.
No car privileges for a month.
I leave these girls alone for one day,
and this is what happens.
[ Scoffs ]
♪♪
[ Council whispering ]
♪♪
Scolding, shaming, screaming --
it is now crystal clear
that you have been a mother this whole time.
As long as you teach these cretinous scoundrels
the ways of the Debra, you will be spared.
I would do anything to keep my Debra-hood. Anything.
You will have to legally adopt these children as your own.
Fine. Even though I am definitely
not old enough to be their mother.
Sure, sure. Whatever you say.
It's a long line after you. Sign the papers. Move along.
By the power vested in me
by the Honorable Order of the Debras,
I hereby pronounce you mother.
Finally, a family of my own.
Mama.
You're free to go.
Girls come with Mommy. We are going home.
♪♪
Kids these days.
They grow up so fast.
[ Laughs ]
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