1
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:10,552
♪♪
2
00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:16,349
♪♪
3
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:19,936
Debras, I had the most
insane dream last night.
4
00:00:20,019 --> 00:00:21,938
-Wow.
-So I'm getting ready
5
00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:25,024
for brunch,
and there's a stain on my dress.
6
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,443
So I go to my laundry room,
7
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,486
but it's not actually
my laundry room.
8
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:31,281
Turns out it's
my guest laundry room,
9
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:35,118
but in my dream, it was as
if it was my laundry room.
10
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,578
That's crazy.
11
00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:38,496
[ Both laugh ]
12
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,125
[ Choir singing operatically ]
13
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:45,003
I was scrubbing
and scrubbing and scrubbing.
14
00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:46,546
I tried everything.
15
00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:49,257
Baking soda.
Sugar.
16
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:50,592
Turns out
I didn't have hands.
17
00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:51,926
I had little lobster claws,
18
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,845
and I started snip, snip,
snip, snipping at it.
19
00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:57,015
At this point,
my dress turned into a cake.
20
00:00:57,098 --> 00:00:58,641
[ Ting! Ting! Ting! ]
21
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,101
-Hi.
-Hey.
22
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,145
I had had enough
of things being strange,
23
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,688
so I forced my dream
to be normal.
24
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:06,816
Speaking of normal, it's time
for me to go change my diaper.
25
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,777
Pardonne-moi.
26
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:14,449
♪♪
27
00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:16,284
I can't take it anymore.
28
00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:19,245
Sitting next to you,
ignoring you all these years.
29
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,998
It's like my whole life
I was deaf...
30
00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:24,501
to things seen with the eye.
31
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:27,712
Finally, my ears
can see clearly.
32
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,589
I need you...
33
00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:31,591
right now.
34
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:35,178
Take me, Debra.
35
00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:37,639
I thought you'd never ask.
36
00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:45,605
♪♪
37
00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:47,816
What the hell
is going on here?!
38
00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:49,484
I invited you over
for brunch,
39
00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:52,362
and I don't remember putting
your pussies on the menu.
40
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:55,281
Debra, it's not enough for me
to just be your friend.
41
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,866
I also want to finger you.
42
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,369
Aww. That's the only thing
anyone has ever said to me.
43
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,247
Truth be told, I have no
fulfilling intimacy in my life.
44
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:03,873
My type is anyone
who looks at me.
45
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,875
I am so excited
to settle for you.
46
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,377
I love you, too!
47
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:11,464
Well, I guess the only person
who cares about me is me.
48
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:14,300
Can you move out of my way?
You're blocking my view.
49
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:15,844
[ Both breathing heavily ]
50
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,637
[ Sighs ]
Shut up, you gorgeous bitch.
51
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,305
[ Grunts ]
Ow!
52
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,182
Oh!
Sorry, sorry.
53
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:22,809
[ Grunts loudly ]
54
00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,269
[ Bell rings ]
55
00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:29,399
♪♪
56
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:34,571
♪♪
57
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,447
[ Hisses ]
58
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,283
One. Two.
59
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,245
[ Bell rings ]
60
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,163
♪♪
61
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,748
Rah!
62
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,125
[ Horn blares ]
63
00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:49,252
Debra down!
64
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:50,753
[ Bell ringing ]
65
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:53,506
And the winner is...
66
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:54,924
love.
67
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,217
Good game.
68
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,760
Good game. Good game.
Good game.
69
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:58,720
Good game.
70
00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:00,597
Good game.
Good game.
71
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,015
[ Both breathing heavily ]
72
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:05,435
All right, I'm gonna get back
to my son's graduation.
73
00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:07,562
Yeah, well,
maybe I should leave, too,
74
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:10,481
since no one here
seems to care if I live or die.
75
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,569
Oh, my God. A box!
76
00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:18,239
Debra, will you marry me?
77
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:20,575
No, no!
A million times no!
78
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:24,454
Yes! Yes!
A million times yes!
79
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:30,209
That's a whole lot of yes
for a whole lot of woman.
80
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:32,962
[ Squeals ] I'm engaged!
81
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,632
♪♪
82
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,592
I'm gonna do something
about this
83
00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:41,596
if it's the last thing
I do something about this.
84
00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,181
[ Laughs evilly ]
85
00:03:45,516 --> 00:03:47,435
[ Soft jazz music plays ]
86
00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:50,480
So what's new
with the lovebirds?
87
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,398
Eating worms, I hope.
88
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:56,486
[ Slurred ] I've gotten really
into binge drinking lately.
89
00:03:56,569 --> 00:04:00,198
Well, you know what they say --
Nothing in moderation.
90
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,242
My nonna's favorite recipe.
91
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,911
[ Speaking
foreign language ]
92
00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:09,332
God damn it, Debra! I told you
I was craving raisins.
93
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:11,334
Go put this in the microwave.
94
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:14,587
Whatever you say.
Don't want to upset the queen.
95
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,839
[ Sighs ]
96
00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:22,053
Trouble in paradise?
97
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:25,223
Growing up,
my mother told me,
98
00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:27,558
"Always put a fork
in the microwave."
99
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:31,688
Or was it, "Never put a fork
in the microwave"?
100
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,357
I'll just put a fork
in there to be safe.
101
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,651
My marriage has gone stale.
102
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:39,028
I'm starting to think
the only reason we got together
103
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:42,240
was because we were both
sitting next to each other.
104
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:44,993
Also, I have a husband.
105
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:46,828
[ Microwave beeping ]
106
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:49,706
I'm not sorry to hear that.
107
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:53,334
Is there anything I can do
to...
108
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:54,627
[ Microwave beeping ]
109
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,212
...make it better?
110
00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:59,549
Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch!
Ch-ch-ch!
111
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,050
What about Debra?
112
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,802
Oh, don't worry about that.
[ Siren wailing in distance ]
113
00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:04,721
A little adultery
never hurt anybody.
114
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,222
Ma'am, can you point me
to the fire?
115
00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:07,974
I'll do my best.
116
00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:09,726
[ Beeping continues ]
117
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:10,727
♪♪
118
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:12,020
[ Breathes deeply ]
119
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,563
[ Exhaling sharply ]
120
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,941
[ Breathes deeply ]
121
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,652
Where did
you learn to do that?
122
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:20,695
Learn it? Ha!
123
00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:22,238
I invented it.
124
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:28,745
♪♪
125
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,913
Debra #3: Thanks, boys.
See you next fire.
126
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,332
One more,
and you get a free cookie.
127
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:36,377
Got those raisins
you asked for, sweetie.
128
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:37,920
Nothing! No reason! Why?!
129
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,213
Sounds good.
130
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,841
The craziest thing
just happened to me.
131
00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:44,093
I thought
today was Wednesday,
132
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:47,221
and it turns out it's not.
133
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:53,227
♪♪
134
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:59,233
♪♪
135
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,943
[ Ting! ]
136
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:04,072
[ Moans ]
137
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:07,116
♪♪
138
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,203
[ Sighs ]
I'm crazy about you.
139
00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:13,206
Let's run away together,
you and me.
140
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:14,832
I bought us two buses.
141
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,460
We can drive
anywhere a car can go.
142
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:18,961
What do you say?
143
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,213
Debra!
144
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:21,297
Debra.
145
00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,256
Debra?!
146
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,341
Debra!
147
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:24,634
[ Groans ]
148
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,761
[ Both gasping ]
149
00:06:26,844 --> 00:06:28,054
I didn't want to believe it
150
00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:31,057
when I saw that sexy
red diaper in my car,
151
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,142
but my worst fears
have come true.
152
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,645
Debra, it's not
what you think.
153
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:37,146
I was just cheating.
154
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,315
With me.
155
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:42,777
And to think all this time,
I thought you cared about me.
156
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:45,822
I don't.
And to make matters worse,
157
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,281
I'm pregnant.
[ Gasps ]
158
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:48,324
Yes, pregnant.
159
00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:49,784
Are you sure it's yours?
160
00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:51,327
I don't know.
We'll have to ask it
161
00:06:51,410 --> 00:06:53,329
when it slides out of me!
162
00:06:53,412 --> 00:06:56,165
Don't touch me!
Ohh!
163
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,084
[ Clapping ]
164
00:06:58,167 --> 00:07:00,586
[ Laughs ]
165
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,672
Bravo, Debras.
166
00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:05,508
You know, next time, you should
give me more of a challenge.
167
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,093
What are you saying?
168
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:10,346
That the only reason you seduced
me was to ruin my marriage?
169
00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:13,307
Damn straight. And, honey,
breaking this relationship apart
170
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,685
was like cracking open
a safe that was wide open.
171
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:18,896
Now brunch can go back
to the way it was.
172
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:23,317
Oh! How could this get
any more dramatic?!
173
00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:27,530
I will tell you.
While Debra was rambling,
174
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,740
I filed for divorce.
175
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:30,992
Debra, no!
176
00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:32,285
Debra, yes.
177
00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:35,830
Oh, please, Debra.
Please take me back.
178
00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:38,875
I made a huge mistake.
179
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:42,545
For the baby, Debra.
Do it for the baby.
180
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,881
I want to name it Debra
after me.
181
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:47,758
Or maybe even Debra
after you.
182
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:50,303
Oh, think of our history.
183
00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:54,307
All the things we bought
and the other day
184
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:56,559
and [Speaking gibberish]
185
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,811
You make an amazing point.
186
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,397
But it's too late.
I'm leaving you.
187
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:02,773
Oh, please!
188
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,567
I hope it was worth it for.
189
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:06,444
Ohh!
190
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,322
Mnh.
191
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,242
Well, I'm out of ideas.
192
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:18,623
♪♪
193
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,625
[ Wheezing ]
194
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:21,834
Aah!
195
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,127
[ Gasps ]
196
00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:30,551
[ Weakly ] Debra, there's
Chinese leftovers in the fridge
197
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,261
if you want them.
Yeah.
198
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,848
The sesame chicken
will go bad tomorrow,
199
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:40,728
but the green beans
should last a couple
200
00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:43,940
[Gasps] weeks.
201
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:48,027
[ Crying ] Nooooo!
202
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,531
Debra.
203
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:53,991
You rang?
204
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,326
Debra #3:
This is all your fault.
205
00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:57,161
You ruined
what me and Debra had.
206
00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:00,373
Please. You can't end a marriage
that was already over.
207
00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:01,707
But I can end you.
208
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,626
[ Gasps ]
209
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:04,835
Aah!
210
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,629
[ High-pitched voice ]
You don't understand.
211
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,756
I did this for all of us.
212
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,633
You can take away my life,
213
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:14,053
but you can't take away
my brunch.
214
00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:15,596
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
215
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,473
Loosen your grip a little bit.
This is a really good part.
216
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,184
[ Clears throat ]
217
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,686
Thank you.
218
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:24,230
So hear my dying words --
219
00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:30,361
a moment on the lips,
forever on the hips.
220
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:32,029
Goodbye...
221
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,699
Fat Debra.
222
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:41,497
♪♪
223
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,669
[ Wailing ]
224
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:53,384
♪♪
225
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:55,052
No!
226
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,846
[ Hissing ]
227
00:09:57,596 --> 00:09:58,597
[ Groans ]
228
00:09:58,681 --> 00:09:59,724
[ Wheezing ]
229
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:04,854
[ Crying ] It hurts so bad!
230
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,689
[ Grunts ]
231
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,774
♪♪
232
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:11,777
[ Baby cooing ]
233
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:18,701
It's a miracle.
234
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:21,162
I'm gonna name you...
235
00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:22,246
Brunch.
236
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,665
[ Cheers and applause ]
237
00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:33,090
[ Cheers and applause
continues ]
238
00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,056
Thank you.
Grazie.
239
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:41,474
Thank you.
Thank you.
240
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:43,017
Thank you.
241
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:48,564
♪♪
242
00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:50,566
[ Gasps ] Oh.
243
00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:52,401
Thank God
it was just a dream.
244
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,402
[ Gasps ]
245
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,905
[ Gasps, screams ]
246
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:57,073
[ Sighs ]
247
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,241
Thank God it was just a book.
248
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,910
[ Screams ]
249
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:04,580
Thank God it was just a show.
250
00:11:04,663 --> 00:11:05,998
See you next week.
251
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:07,875
[ Screams ]