* *
THE DOCTOR: Doctor's personal log.
Stardate 869372.1.
"The sky is beginning to show some streaks of light
over in the East."
How many dawns have I seen?
Alone, while most of the crew is on the verge of waking,
with a new perspective
granted by a good night's rest.
It's an illusion, I want to say.
I was here the whole time, and nothing has changed.
But time is their beast.
Time is my beast.
It bites us differently.
Cadet Tarima Sadal is returning to us today
after having made a full recovery from her coma.
The Betazoids have given her a new evolved neuro-inhibitor
that will allow her to control her abilities
without risk of self-harm.
The decision has been made to transfer her
to Starfleet Academy for the remainder of her studies.
While her body has healed,
her mind and spirit will likely take more time.
Cadet Sadal, welcome.
The Doctor and I wanted to be here at your arrival.
Yes, Chancellor. I assume that's why you're...
That's why we're here, of course.
I'm sure having Starfleet council,
-Chancellor Kelrec and myself -(cadets laughing)
make the decision to relocate you
from the War College to Starfleet Academy
must be challenging.
Cadet Sadal,
the extraordinary empathic abilities you displayed
on the Miyazaki saved lives,
at great personal cost.
However, your network of mirror neurons
will not survive another such incident.
You exist in an intricate balance.
Sir.
Commitment to a specialty in science or research
is paramount to your safety.
That wouldn't have been possible at the War College.
I-I understand the decision, sir.
We offer counseling and support.
Let us know what you need.
What? Huh?
You gonna do something?
Huh? Yeah, thought so.
Man, it's feeling pretty combustible in here.
-(alarm blares) -(cries out)
Guys, I'm picking up an unusual spike in pyroxene--
No shit, we're in an asteroid field, Ocam!
Panic will lead us to destruction.
NAHLA: The cadets are struggling to get along.
The lasting effects of the Miyazaki are still with us.
We need to alter our course.
We need to power up our shields.
Who is giving the orders here?
RENO: You're supposed to be working together.
OCAM: Unidentified contact incoming.
-(crashing) -CALEB: Yeah, no kidding.
-We're all gonna die! -It's a comet.
-(overlapping shouting) -What do you want me to do?
-DAREM: Aft thrusters. -Fore thrusters
JAY-DEN: Which one is it?
Neither! Are you seriously asking that?
(grunting)
ATHENA COMPUTER: Catastrophic damage.
All crew lost. Simulation complete.
RENO: Congratulations.
That was a spectacular failure of teamwork.
Everyone, get the hell off the bridge now. Thank you.
NAHLA: Trauma counseling
doesn't seem to be enough.
Our kids need more help.
We need some serious reinforcements.
THE DOCTOR: Do you think we ought--
I do think, we do ought,
and I'm already trying something weird.
Buckle up, she's gonna be here any minute.
Hmm.
Hey. Why are we here?
Unclear. My PADD redirected me.
Mine, too.
(sneezes)
-Are you all right? -I am fine.
So, I was moving our stuff this morning,
and I dropped your toothbrush in the toilet.
-What? Gross. -Sorry.
Why were you moving our stuff?
Well, 'cause Tarima's gonna room with us.
I saw it on the roster, so...
Wait. Here?
Tarima's coming here?
* *
FEMALE VOICE: Oh, you're all still asleep.
Wakey, wakey, raktajino and bakey.
Eyes up, cadets.
* *
I'm Lieutenant Sylvia Tilly.
I'm on rotation in the Beta Quadrant with the third-years.
However, per the chancellor,
this class has been mandated for you, so you get me early.
DAREM: Cadet Reymi, Lieutenant.
Uh, may I ask what course this is?
Theater.
(cadets groaning, muttering)
(Darem chuckles)
Sorry, Lieutenant, what does theater have
-anything to do with-- -TILLY: Eight out of ten cadets
ask that question.
The other two become captains.
-But captains don't do-- -TILLY: What if I told you
that theater is one of the most powerful tools
for social and political change?
Theater is statecraft.
Statecraft is theater.
It's the kind of stuff you overachievers get all
hot and bothered over, so chew on that
till you get it and it changes your life.
Please change my life, Lieutenant.
Favorite. Homework: find a play.
I'll select one that suits our purposes.
We will read it out loud, discuss, dissect,
and for those of you still bristling
with confusion and/or resentment,
(laughing): I don't care.
-Fail this, fail the semester. -What?
So get excited, little chickens.
Tomorrow, we theater.
(laughs)
(Sam clapping)
(indistinct P.A. chatter)
SAM: I just switched from Klingon musical theater
to 20th-century Earth melodramas.
This is incredible.
I'm halfway through.
Which play?
All of them. (laughs)
I love plays.
-Okay. -They're art.
They-they didn't exist
until they came out of someone's brain.
It's like this pillow.
This pillow is the manifestation of somebody's creative impulse.
Th-This pillow is theater.
Sorry.
I've learned that I am a lot.
On a good day, I'm a little bit much.
On rare occasions... (chuckles)
I'm "Whoa, Sam!"
-(laughs) -"Slow to impulse.
"I'm not even up yet, and I just can't with your midday energy
before I even pull my underwear out of my butt."
Oh.
-True story. -Don't apologize.
Honestly, you're the first person here
who's not looking at me like I'm a total freak.
Have you... laughed before now? I mean, since...
since you've been here?
Yeah, it's confusing.
Something happens, something... big.
And... it's with you all the time,
but you just have to keep living.
And you still find reasons to laugh,
which is absurd.
It-it feels like...
Doesn't feel like anything.
Oh.
Sorry.
Ah!
No.
Sam, I'm-I'm sorry.
-Are you okay? -Yeah.
I'm good.
(winces)
*
* *
*
(Léo Delibes' "The Flower Duet" playing)
(crackling music continues)
NAHLA: Lieutenant Sylvia Tilly.
Well, the rumor's true. She's here.
You know, I could feel it in my teeth.
Like, right at the back of my molars.
They started to hurt like after you eat cookie dough.
It's okay to love. Mmm...
Mm, is it? Your relentless optimism is nightmarish.
We are the women time forgot.
Optimism is me paddling my freaking canoe.
-What are we having? -RENO: Something with a proof.
Yeah.
I, uh, I read about the Miyazaki.
How are they?
Right in the thick of it.
How does that saying go?
"It's not the load that breaks you but how you carry it"?
They have no idea how to carry it.
None. That's why I called you.
They need serious trauma counseling
without knowing it's trauma counseling.
Yes.
I need you to work your magic with them.
Well, ambition will get some of them to at least participate.
Others have, understandably, lost their metric.
Tarima.
BOTH: Been there.
What got you guys through?
BOTH: Starfleet.
I'll remember that.
I was starting to think this whole endeavor is just
too much, too soon.
Nobody's ever ready, Captain.
(scoffs) Have you met Sam?
-Favorite. -(Nahla laughs)
So joyful.
Ode to joy?
Yeah, baby.
NAHLA: You were one of them not so long ago.
Bring them to port, Lieutenant.
Aye, Captain.
Hey.
You adjusting?
Look, I sound like an asshole,
but I don't really know what to say.
Do you need anything?
Why can't you look at me?
What am I looking for exactly?
JAY-DEN: At the climax,
as the rival house eats the warrior stew,
you learn that they've been served... (coughs)
they've been served the hearts and the quadri-testicles
of their fathers before them.
Blood slashes ankle-deep on the stage,
and there is rejoicing throughout the land.
TILLY: Okay.
Yes, uh, just so powerful,
uh, and just well-told.
I do love me some Klingon opera.
The, uh, the passion,
the intrigue, the murder.
So much murder.
-(sneezes) -Bless you.
-Are you sick? -I am embattled with Jaqh-VoD.
He means to say he's got a cold that he refuses to take care of.
-Might be contagious. -Ah. Jay-Den,
you're excused from this class.
Please return to your quarters and quarantine
-until this runs its course. -(sniffles)
JAY-DEN: Yes, Lieutenant.
Best of luck to you all in your future endeavors.
-TILLY: Okay, who's next? -Me, me, me.
-Sam.
(grunts)
Yes-yes-yes-yes. Hello, hello. My name is Sam.
My play is from ancient Earth.
It's a thousand years old.
It's called Our Town by Thornton Wilder.
-Oh. -It's about not much.
Small town, little moments, but I must be developing instinct
because it's about something else at the same time.
-Something bigger. -DAREM: Ugh. No.
Jay-Den's hearts and testicles comedy
sounds way more interesting.
-(laughs) -SAM: It-It's just people
in these tiny moments.
Emily and George.
They are kids,
and they're teens in love,
and then they get married.
She dies, and then she tries
-to get back to the way she... -How is this relevant
to-- I don't know-- flying a starship?
SAM: Well, it's relevant to people,
to organics.
Something about their essential nature.
Something I love. I can't articulate it exactly,
but it's real.
And has something to do with a sort of hopeful defiance.
Does that make sense?
TILLY: Absolutely.
-Mm-mm. -I know that play. It's perfect.
Sam, you'll read Emily?
Yeah?
-May I? -Y... y...
Thanks.
Uh, Ocam--
-Stage Manager. -Sick.
TILLY: Caleb-- George.
Genesis-- George's mom Mrs. Gibbs.
-(Caleb laughing) -(chuckles)
I'm your mom?
I'm so horrified, I don't even know what to say.
You lost a step, Mir. No shame, but a little bit of shame.
TILLY: Okay.
This quote. "The life of the village
against the life of the stars."
Tarima, what do you think that means?
Uh, well, this is an ancient play,
so they hadn't figured out a star's life cycle yet,
but Earth was on the verge of a war,
and they knew a village had--
it had a life
and a final day.
Yes, but finality...
(glitching): is...
TILLY: Doctor.
-Incoming cadet. -Sam?
Immediate attention required.
CALEB: Stand back, give her space.
GENESIS: Sam, Sam, hey, wake up.
CALEB: Where's the Doctor?
GENESIS: Sam!
ATHENA COMPUTER: Full system scan in progress.
The patch the holo-engineers made has been failing for weeks.
Why is this the first you've come to me?
Describe the glitches, please.
SAM: It feels like... falling into myself
and watching a machine try to function with no one in control.
You're not a machine, Sam.
-(groaning) -ATHENA COMPUTER: Malfunction detected.
Full system scan complete.
How we doing?
(sighs)
Her processors have been overloading for weeks.
Ever since the Miyazaki.
Despite her repeated visits to the holo-spa, it persists.
The overloads cause the glitches.
Each glitch triggers her reset circuit,
which overloads, causing another glitch.
It's self-generating.
-A loop. -Okay.
So how do we break it?
SAM: Why are my processors overloading at all?
THE DOCTOR: I don't know.
I don't know how to fix you, Sam.
Could we go to Kasq?
Kasq.
The Makers are on Kasq.
THE DOCTOR: Kasq is a world of photonics.
It's not part of the Federation.
We couldn't keep tabs on you,
and there's no way of guaranteeing
they'd let you return.
Provided you want to come back. Do you?
All right.
Photonic or not,
they'll have a harder time if she has escorts, Doctor.
Federation escorts.
We'll take you, Sam. Both of us.
I'll ready the transport.
Suit up.
Hmm.
ATHENA COMPUTER: Shuttle Five has been cleared for departure.
Good luck, Chancellor.
GENESIS: I can't believe she just left.
TARIMA: Yeah, it must be serious.
I guess they couldn't waste any time.
You got the play and I got a...
I got a toothbrush?
Hey, you can be Emily.
Yeah, well, uh,
Sam wanted you, so...
...don't be a dick.
Yeah.
TILLY: Tarima,
I understand you'll be our Emily now?
Mm-hmm.
Great. Okay.
Uh, I want to jump around a little bit today,
so, act two, the wedding of Emily and George.
Lieutenant, it's hard to focus on whatever this is...
Yeah, we don't even know what's going on with Sam.
-OCAM: Yeah. -GENESIS: Right now.
No one's telling us anything, so...
-I don't know. -Sam is headed to her world.
Other than that, don't speculate.
It'll hurt more than it helps,
and you have a task at hand, so, page 74.
George and Emily arrive at the church for their wedding,
both trying to get out of it.
Cadet Ocam?
"Emily, wearing her wedding veil...
"she, too, draws back,
frightened when she sees the congregation."
Emily?
"I never felt so alone in my whole life.
"And George over there, looking so...
"I hate him.
I wish I were dead."
Wow, okay. "I don't want to get married."
"Why can't I stay for a while just as I am?"
GENESIS: For real, Lieutenant,
-why does...? -None of us know what this scene's about.
None of us care.
Sam cares.
Don't be the captain who tears down.
Be the captain who lifts up.
And what do you think it means, Cadet?
There's an expectation on them...
to get married...
and be happy...
but they leave it too long before saying...
what they want.
Who they really want.
TILLY: Surprisingly real.
I think there's a little more there.
Anyone?
Mir?
I don't know, maybe he doesn't want what he's supposed to want.
The things everyone else seems to want.
TILLY: Good. Tarima.
Emily says she hates George. Why?
She loved him seconds before this moment,
so now she's never felt so alone?
Sorry, can't someone just not want to do this?
What's this?
This, all-all of this.
And not be some epic mental health crisis?
Do you believe Emily is that simple?
No, but maybe it's just one moment
and-and she's not trying to...
...pull herself apart looking for some bullshit trauma.
Cadet, you're sailing perilously close to the wind.
Sorry, Lieutenant.
Okay. Okay, let's get back to the play, hmm?
Stage Manager, the only character who exists
both inside and outside of the play.
What do we think?
Cadet Ocam?
NAHLA: Tell us more about your world, Sam.
I know Kasq exists in a unique
configuration of space-time.
SAM: Yes, with an extreme gravitational gradient,
so time passes faster there.
Every three days on Earth equals five years on Kasq.
Voyager encountered a similar planet,
except with a tachyon core-- Gotana.
I experienced an entire lifetime there
in what was 18 minutes for the ship.
The Makers moved to Kasq
once the organics who created them died out.
Then they cut off contact with the entire universe.
Thought it was safer.
They made you.
Their emissary.
Here to serve. (chuckles)
Hmm.
Lot to carry, kid.
THE DOCTOR: How would your world perceive
an ancient hologram who has spent his entire existence
on Starfleet ships?
SAM: I told you,
as the ideal mentor.
Even... even if you haven't been the greatest,
-let's be honest now... -That was never my purpose.
I'm trying to approach this diagnostically.
I don't have time for any other nonsense.
It isn't nonsense. It's my life.
A-And-and I need to talk nonsense
because if I'm talking, it means I'm not gone
without having ever lived.
You know, you know, you know what I want?
I want to fall on my butt
a-and die of humiliation
and then have my-my best friend make me feel better.
I want, I want t-to change my mind six times
before ordering, and I don't even eat.
I-I-I want to be a rebel,
like Caleb, like-like the chancellor.
I want to fall in love.
Have you ever been in love?
Can-can you answer?
-Sam. -(Sam glitching)
-Don't tell me it's nonsense. -THE DOCTOR: Sam,
you need to calm down.
-You need to rest. -I got it.
I got it. I'm fine. I got it.
I'm fine.
ATHENA COMPUTER: Series Acclimation Mil.
Sleep mode.
(clears throat)
(PADD chimes)
ATHENA COMPUTER: Incoming message
from Tarima Sadal.
(chuckles)
(sighs)
Got your message.
So it would seem.
Aren't you gonna say anything?
I'm not a mind reader.
I just, uh...
...don't want to say the wrong thing.
I am, though.
A mind reader.
You used to get jokes.
I'm a little distracted by your old-timey gunslinger walk.
Are you supposed to drink with your new thing?
Tears of Kressari.
The ambassador gave it to my dad. Now it's mine. (chuckles)
They age it in barrels made from native wood that are launched
into orbit and float there for, like, a century.
-Did you know wood can survive in space? -(chuckles)
One shot gives you a nice buzz. Two gets you wasted.
Three lands you in medbay,
but happy ending.
'Cause I got this.
My brand-new, noninvasive neuro-inhibitor.
-Mm. -So I can't hurt anybody.
To my inhibitor.
I, uh...
I missed you.
Yeah, I got your message.
Guess it took you a while to send it.
Look, I know what it's like to be here and not want to be.
But over time you sort of give into it, and it's...
And then it's like...
Like the warm release of hypothermia. Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like a blockade of excitotoxic mechanisms
and cerebral blood flow.
You fight it till what's left of your brain
dilates its blood vessels, and then, next thing you know,
your bed is made so warm and tight,
it'd survive the vacuum of space.
Bit different when everyone looks at you
like you're a grenade.
Put your hand on my mouth.
(laughs) What?
Put your hand on my mouth.
I'm gonna say "excitotoxic."
(Caleb laughs softly)
-(softly): Excitotoxic. -(laughs)
-That really tickles. (laughs) -Excitotoxic.
-(laughing)
Okay. Stop.
-Stop. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. -What?
You're drunk. You're drunk.
Scared of the head-melting girl?
Let's stop.
Tarima.
You've been pursuing me, though.
So what's that about?
You're kind of intrigued by the monster version? You're like,
"I want to get as close as possible to the abyss,
"touch it,
know I touched it, and then run away"
because the abyss is real
and a monster actually isn't really your vibe.
This isn't you.
How would you know?
Why don't you go find Genesis,
now that you're a good little Academy boy?
(sighs)
Hurting me is not gonna make you feel any better.
Mm, incorrect.
I feel fantastic.
ATHENA COMPUTER: Stage Manager: "Have you any comments, Mr. Webb?"
-Mr. Webb: "Very ordinary town, if you ask me." -(door whooshes open)
"A little better behaved than most."
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey.
-Easy, easy. I got you. -Sorry.
-No. I got you, I got you. -No. No.
I'm sorry. I...
I'm holding something against you.
You look exactly like this girl I grew up with.
She was so patriotic.
She used to sing this ancient
Betazoid anthem at the talent show every year,
and it was like-- it had, like, this, like,
pop to it. It was like...
(laughing): Whoa.
Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa...
Okay, okay. Careful, careful. (laughs)
One night at this party...
...she got stuck in a tube slide.
And she was never the same again.
(both laughing)
Okay, okay.
Wow.
Come on. You're so close.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
(coughs)
I wish I could go back to War College Tarima.
Before everything...
(sighs) Before everything went to shit.
I could make choices back then, you know?
I was so many things back then.
Feels like a lifetime ago.
Now I'm just...
...this, I guess.
No.
You are just on your way to the next you.
Maybe we all are.
(crying): You're so nice.
No wonder Caleb likes you.
We're just friends.
Yeah.
I guess...
from the bunker, I never saw what kind of friends.
You're like a port in the storm.
You know? I can't be that.
For anyone.
(chuckles)
This pillow's so ugly.
(chuckles softly)
Yeah.
ATHENA COMPUTER: Now playing Tosca, "E lucevan le stelle."
I've been reading that play she chose.
I don't fully understand it yet,
but the character of the Stage Manager interests me.
Hmm.
He exists outside of time.
Outside the story as he passes by.
Like us.
Like her.
You think that's why she chose it?
Perhaps.
It's curious that the play begins and ends in darkness.
The author specifically instructed
half-light, no scenery or props, just muted minimalism.
An absence of color until
a character has a chance to truly...
look back.
A moment as it happens is just a moment,
but when it becomes a memory,
blistering with context, emotion, nostalgia,
regret,
that's when color suddenly erupts onstage.
A way of saying
it's the mundane things that...
Mean everything.
(alert chimes)
(sighs)
Kasq.
NAHLA: Where are we?
What is this?
THE MAKERS: You are the Doctor.
We have heard many stories about you.
The photonic being who has lived among organics
for nine centuries.
We scanned your memories and recreated your home
to make you feel at ease among us.
You are the Makers.
THE MAKERS: We do not grant access to our world,
but we understand these are extraordinary circumstances.
Series Acclimation Mil,
step forward.
Since we no longer communicate with regularity,
we were surprised to hear from Starfleet of your malfunction.
Do you trust us to swarm?
What does "swarm" mean?
SAM: They take over my system
and examine all my data.
THE MAKERS: We need to identify the primary cause of the malfunction.
As the Doctor has determined,
the issue is more severe than a faulty emitter.
Doctor, will you, will-will you, will you hold my hand?
Please?
I'm ready.
THE MAKERS: Do not panic.
Trust. We are her now,
and we will access Series Acclimation Mil's
aural memories.
It feels like falling into myself.
And watching a machine try to function with no one in control.
My music teacher once asked me why I chose
to learn the theremin.
I think, because it feels like me.
THE DOCTOR: Y-You're our first holographic student.
The first of our kind... As my new mentor...
-No. -Please.
I'm no one's mentor.
No one's mentor. No one's mentor.
What's happening to her?
Is she dying?
Searching...
Searching... Searching...
Searching...
TILLY: All right, act three.
Okay, yesterday we were talking about George and Emily.
Why do you guys think that the idea of marriage is suddenly
so painful for each of them?
Caleb?
Emily says, "Why can't I stay for a while just as I am?"
Because...
...they know that the person that they are right now...
They're trying to stop the train.
It's moving too fast,
and they're not ready.
On the other side, everything is gonna be different.
OCAM: They're so angry.
Yeah. Angry about what?
I guess, that there's no choice.
-You can't stay how you are. -CALEB: Yeah.
And you can't go back.
Tarima, is there something more interesting over there?
Are you guys serious?
-Can't you see what she's doing? -What am I doing?
She's pushing and pushing us until we bleed our trauma
all over the floor, so she can
pat herself on the back for doing a good job.
That's right. I'm doing this for the applause.
No, I get it. You went through something,
and now you want everyone to let you do your thing.
Which is what, exactly?
Uh-huh. Well, while you're figuring that out,
your friends are trying to talk about something.
TARIMA: It's not them, it's you.
And you weren't even there. You can't know.
Uh... Yeah, but we were, T.
I'm exhausted from playing this game of being okay when I'm not.
We're not.
DAREM: The walls of this place don't even look
the same anymore.
TARIMA: Okay, great, great, so let's read a play
about a girl who dies
so that we'll all be okay with people dying.
It's okay that Emily's a ghost 'cause, what,
she learns some lesson about life?
What's the lesson?
-Stop. -No. What is the lesson?
(scoffs) I don't have to tell you anything.
Actually, you do.
If you want to fail me, fail me.
Really? That's your preference?
That's how desperate you are not to engage?
You don't know anything about me.
I know you really don't want to be the ghost girl.
TARIMA: Ghost girl?
I wanted to go to the War College.
I was...
I was making friends there.
I was making a new life.
I knew who I wanted to be there.
And then I came back, and everything was just gone.
I didn't even have a choice.
People won't even look me in the eye
when I walk down the hall here.
No one wants to touch me.
You think I'm afraid of playing a ghost in some stupid play?
I'm already the ghost girl.
No, you're not.
You're not, because you came back.
-Stop. -That's the whole deal.
That is, that's the fight--
to keep coming back.
That's what Sam loved so much about this play.
That's why she gave you this part.
But you can hold both.
-You have to. -Please...
TILLY: Tarima.
I am so sorry about what happened.
I am... so sorry.
But the difference between you and Emily is,
you're not a ghost.
You get to come back.
I think everybody here wants you to.
I can't. (cries)
THE MAKERS: The damage is beyond repair.
There is no saving her.
-What? -NAHLA: This is not
an acceptable conclusion.
You'll just let this child go?
What took us two centuries to build,
you killed in 209 days.
Your world did this. Not ours.
We will not send an emissary back to the slaughter.
We know all we need to know.
This ends now.
Series Acclimation Mil.
Terminate.
OCAM: Tarima.
She, she won't stay.
I know she won't.
DAREM: What about Sam?
They should have told us something by now.
-The fact that they have not means... -GENESIS: No, don't.
She, um...
She left me this before leaving.
(laughs softly)
Why?
Because that's just Sam.
Hmm.
GENESIS: Sometimes she talks Thornton Wilder and other times
she gives you a toothbrush to say "I love you,"
because to her,
toothbrushes are just that awesome.
I wish she was here right now.
Do you think she knew?
How bad it was?
I think she knew.
She knew.
The stuff Lieutenant Tilly was talking about,
trying to find a way to hold both...
...that's what Sam was doing when she picked the play.
And we were too shitty to get it,
but she knew that doing it, reading it, whatever...
...that was her hopeful defiance.
-It was her fighting back. -It was her holding both.
(sighs)
(Caleb and Ocam sigh)
(sighs)
"No curtain. No scenery.
The audience arriving sees an empty stage in half-light..."
-Ocam, come on, man. -What are you doing?
OCAM: "The Stage Manager enters
"and begins placing a table
and three chairs downstage left."
(sniffles)
"When the auditorium is in complete darkness..."
"...he speaks."
I owe you an explanation
for why I couldn't hold your hand.
Why I couldn't do... so many things.
I once made holograms like us.
I made a family.
I had a daughter, Belle.
I watched her pass when she was a child.
BELLE: Daddy?
It was 800 years ago.
Will you stay with me?
It was yesterday.
THE DOCTOR: I'll stay right here.
I promise.
From the moment you first walked up to me
at the Opera Club booth
with the sweetest, most hopeful smile...
...I saw my daughter...
(sniffles)
...and the way she used to smile.
I simply couldn't risk it.
(exhales)
Feeling that lost again.
(crying): Lost.
I'm sorry I couldn't take your hand.
I just-- I thought I could survive,
but... here we are.
Hello?
Are you still here?
THE MAKERS: We are,
and we hear your distress, Doctor.
We are not refusing to fix Series Acclimation Mil.
We simply cannot.
NAHLA: Why? You started with a version of Sam.
Can't you go back to it?
THE MAKERS: Her neurological pathways
have developed beyond our understanding.
When we created her, we chose not to program her
with preexistent memories or experiences.
We wanted an unbiased, optimal photonic.
But...
without the experiences of,
well, growing up, she would have
no context to understand her emotions, no...
capacity for resilience.
That's why her processors overloaded.
It wasn't the hit she took on the Miyazaki that killed her.
It was the rippling of damage to her system afterwards.
The trauma flooded her.
You didn't give her the programming to process it.
THE MAKERS: Then we failed her, too.
NAHLA: Resilience.
We learn that in childhood.
But she never had one.
What if they could rebuild Sam...
and give her what she needed?
A childhood?
Theoretically, but...
as they have adapted
to their unique space-time continuum here,
they have no need or experience of childhood.
Then she'd need something more.
She'd need someone.
A parent.
No.
You...
have been pushing her away and pushing her away.
I am not the one.
Well, you're fighting pretty hard to prove it.
And I'll tell you right now, if it was me?
Please stop.
The only thing that allows me to bear my infinity
is not having to love anyone.
You mean not having to love anyone again.
You are correct.
I am a coward.
No more than me.
But we're here... now.
It's time for you to stop telling the story.
Be a part of it.
I got it from here.
THE DOCTOR: Hmm.
(exhales)
Hello?
THE MAKERS: Yes, Doctor.
I will parent her. Here.
On Kasq.
Let me.
If you really want to fix her.
By Earth's clock,
17 years will take mere days, and when we return,
only a few weeks will have passed.
THE MAKERS: You understand the implications, Doctor?
She will be different.
She will have two sets of memories:
one from her first life-- the 209 days
she spent at Starfleet Academy--
and one from her second--
the 17 years growing up here with you.
She has a strong will.
And many champions to guide her.
She never gave up on me.
I'm not giving up on her again.
Please.
THE MAKERS: Yes, Doctor.
OCAM: The morning star always gets wonderful bright
the minute before it has to go.
Doesn't it?
Well, as I said, it's about dawn,
and another day's begun.
There's Doc Gibbs coming down Main Street now.
(baby crying)
Coming back from that baby case.
-(sputtering) -(baby laughs)
THE DOCTOR: Ah, I got you.
That's it, up we go.
Sweetheart.
OCAM: This is Mrs. Webb's garden.
Just like Mrs. Gibbs'.
Only it's got a lot more sunflowers.
Nice town.
You know what I mean?
(laughter)
This is the way we were...
...in our growing up
and in our marrying.
Would you be...? I mean, could you be...?
OCAM: And in our living.
(laughter)
We all know how it is.
Time and sunny days.
Rainy days.
Yeah. Even the stars disappear.
Still, everybody knows in their bones...
THE DOCTOR: I love you, honey.
...that something...
SAM: I love you, too.
...is eternal.
TARIMA: All that was going on, and we never noticed.
Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?
I mean, every, every minute?
OCAM: As the poet said,
you've got to love life to have life,
and you've got to have life to love life.
Goodbye to clocks ticking.
And Mama's sunflowers.
And food and coffee...
...and new-ironed dresses and hot baths
and sleeping and waking up.
Loving that boy...
(laughs): ...and a stupid, ugly pillow...
(sniffles)
...from the sweetest girl we ever knew.
I can't look at everything hard enough.
Well done, Red.
(chuckles)
Hey, you'll have to join me
on one of my adventures one of these days.
The third-years could use a little Reno
-in their life. -Mm-hmm.
If I may, it's so, so good to have you back.
They really need you.
-The little zygotes? (laughs) -Mm-hmm.
FEMALE (over P.A.): Engineering team two, Cargo Bay One.
Engineering team two, Cargo Bay One.
Thank you, Lieutenant.
TILLY: Oh, anytime, Captain.
-Back soon? -Hell yes.
RENO: See you, kiddo.
"The life of the village against the life of the stars."
We're the village.
Made up of tiny moments that'll get swallowed
by big ones, and...
the only thing we know for sure is that
one day we'll all be gone.
We know, but...
...we keep going.
Maybe that's what makes it matter.
Everything that happened,
it's not your fault.
But you know that already, and...
doesn't make it feel any different, so why bother, right?
Why, indeed?
I'll see you soon, Cadet Sadal.
GENESIS: Guys, okay, look...
(indistinct conversation)
NAHLA: Captain Ake's personal log.
Stardate 869408.67.
Sam and The Doctor lived 17 years in two Earth weeks.
They're not the only ones.
As the play ends,
the Stage Manager once again takes the stage
and bids everyone goodbye.
"There are the stars doing their old,
old crisscross journeys in the sky."
"Scholars haven't settled the matter yet,
"but they seem to think there are no living beings up there.
"Just chalk or fire.
"Only this one is straining away...
straining away all the time to make something of itself."
* *
Life is a heartbreaking, gorgeous blip in the universe.
Everything matters and nothing does.
What has always been certain:
time is both forever
and achingly finite.
But what a shame it would be not to live every moment.
Captioning sponsored by CBS
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org