[Fatin] Forty, forty-one, forty-two.
Forty-two days on this dumb-fuck rock.
[Dot] You've really commandeered that journal, hmm?
Yeah, for some truly masochistic reason,
I like to think about what I'd be doing at any given moment,
like if none of this had happened.
And what would you be doing right now?
Well, I'd probably be at the med-spa,
getting my pubes lasered off.
It was my pre-Majorca ritual.
My family always goes this week.
[Dot] What week even is it?
You know, time here is like a flat circle.
I have no idea.
[Fatin] Today is July 18th.
Holy shit.
What's up?
Oh, it's my birthday today, you know?
[blows raspberry] Big 1-8.
[forced laughter]
[light music]
No.
No, Fatin. You can't tell the others, please?
Okay, okay, okay. Hear me out.
I can, and I will.
[Dot] Fatin, I don't do birthdays.
They're stupid,
and self-centered, and...
"Congrats to me, at me.
"I slid out of a vag.
Time to throw myself a friend parade."
You put this to bed now.
Guess what, bitches?
Ice the booze...and get horny.
It's Dorothy's motherfucking birthday.
[lively music]
♪ ♪
How much longer do I have to do this?
[Faber] Well, that kind of depends on you.
But I've been down there with him for hours
and I can't tell if I'm getting, like,
warm, cold, mild, or just, like, nowhere.
I've told you everything I can.
Something happened 15 days in,
and none of the boys will talk about it.
What's this sudden hesitation about?
What, are you worried that we won't hold up
our end of the bargain?
Yeah, there's that.
It's also the whole "putting on an act" thing.
We're not all as good at it as you are.
[Young] You're not buying that, are you?
'Cause I think she puts on a pretty good show.
I can't pretend I didn't fall
for her little panic attack number.
[Gretchen] Not your finest hour.
But if she can find out what tore the boys apart,
we'll call it a wash.
Wow, you're still harboring some pretty serious hostility
toward her.
Doesn't feel good getting worked over like that.
Oh, much better to be on this side
of the manipulation game, isn't it?
[Faber] You know what I think you might need?
A little good faith gesture on our part.
Transcripts from the several calls
that Jeff made to you, to one of your teachers,
even to the authorities,
inquiring about your welfare.
They're real?
He did try for you, Leah.
So tenaciously, in fact,
that it's become a bit of a problem for us.
You wouldn't hurt him.
We'll make good if you do.
You come through for us on this
and we can and will let you call him.
[apprehensive music]
♪ ♪
Whoa. What's wrong? Are you okay?
Shh, I thought I heard voices.
- Did someone follow you? [Leah] Shh.
Okay. I don't think this, what we're doing here,
I don't know if it's gonna work.
Sounds like a breakup speech.
Please don't joke. It's not working fast enough.
Time is, like, slipping by
and every second, I feel closer to getting caught.
Do you want to sit and breathe for a sec?
We don't have much longer. We have to make a move.
[Raf] Leah.
Have some.
It's not my favorite flavor.
[small laugh]
It's the only one that comes in a green bottle.
Did you know that?
My family, we used to lug all our bottles
to the recycling place for cash.
The green bottles aren't worth as much,
so my mom would let me keep these ones.
I'd stack 'em in my bedroom on the west wall,
and when the sun set and the light hit it,
looked like jewels.
We need to get home.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
[exhales]
So this move we need to make...
how's it start?
With more of us.
We find some of the others, bring them in.
And I know the girls, and I know who to start with, but...
But I need to know your people now.
Their strengths, their weaknesses.
Who we can trust.
There was this time...
this day, actually...
where we really learned a lot about each other.
It was the day we decided to...
[Scotty] Surround that big fucking cat on all sides,
armed with the baddest spears we can make,
then basically just stab the shit out of it.
Stab, stab, stab!
Ha ha. Dead jaguar.
[Kirin] This is the play you want us to run?
I don't even know what I'm looking at here.
[Josh] Looks like a human cell,
like how we had to draw it in biology?
Is that a ribosome right there?
That's obviously the jag!
Bo, is that not obviously the jag?
I wouldn't say "obviously."
[Kirin] Can't just run up and stab it, dawg.
This isn't the hood.
"The hood"?
Bitch, you don't know my life.
For all you know, I could live in one of those red brick,
good trick-or-treating-type communities.
He doesn't.
[Scotty] Okay. Well, if my idea sucks,
let's see you come up with one on your own.
Or would that make your jalopy-ass brain overheat,
you fucking dumb-dumb?
The fuck did you just call me?
You heard me, big bird-ass bitch.
[Seth] Whoa, guys, you guys. Chill.
Everyone's got a point here, right?
Kirin's right, a direct attack
would probably be a suicide mission.
But, Scotty, you're definitely onto something with the spears.
Easily our best bet, weapons-wise.
Badges, what do you think?
[Henry] Well, whatever we do, it's got to be from a distance.
We don't have any long-range firearms.
- Guess that means a trap. [Seth] Okay.
I don't know if what I'm imagining is,
like, a legit thing or just some Indiana Jones bullshit,
but what if we, like, make a thatch trap
that the jag could, like, fall through?
Oh, hell yeah, right onto some sharp-ass spears.
[Seth] Yes. Yes. Why not?
[Henry] Proper term is a pit-fall trap,
but, yes, theoretically, that could do the job.
[Seth] Nice, nice, nice.
So now all we need is a pit big enough.
Could we dig one?
[Raf] What if we cleared out the bunker?
Yes! Fuck yes! We spike the bunker.
[Ivan] Okay. I'm new here.
But cats are brilliant, right?
Like, I know she's not just gonna sashay over and fall in.
[Bo] Maybe we can bait it.
You know, like, with the turkey jerky.
Bo, yes! Fucking killer.
Okay. Will the jerky be enough?
[Scotty] I mean, we could throw some of that SPAM in there too,
you know, make like a shitty meat soufflé.
Holy shit. Did we just do this?
Did we just figure this thing out?
'Cause I feel like we figured this fucking thing out!
Guys, bring it in.
Yeah. I know it's super cheesy,
but humor me, please.
"Kill a motherfucking jag," on three.
- One, two... [all] Kill a motherfucking jag!
[cheers]
[Seth] All right.
We need spear makers, a cleared bunker,
and wood for the spears.
[Kirin] I'm on chop duty.
Who'd have thought that Second City improv
would come in clutch on a deserted island?
Big famous improv school?
They teach you how to collab, say "Yes, and?"
Okay, no. Forget it, noob.
Oh, shit, dude.
What the fuck?
Oh, shit, dude, you had a fire ant on you. Oh, my god.
Oh, shit. You got one too!
Oh, fuck you. Fuck you.
You got one too. Oh, fuck. You got one too.
- Oh, no. [Josh laughs]
Spillz. Can you and I team up, like, for one of the tasks?
Um, oh, shit. I would love to,
but I got to go with Kirin to collect some raw materials.
Uh, do y...
do you think that you could do me a solid
and head to the bunker with Raf?
Yeah, yeah. Of course.
Team Saint J. [chuckles]
I'm just gonna go take my meds, then we can skedaddle.
Hey, you know that I would go with you.
It's just that, this isn't gonna work
unless me and Jock Itch get on the same page.
- No, I get it. All good. - Yeah.
An actual 50-year-old... trapped in teenage form.
[Fatin] She is 18 today, people.
Which means she can legally vote,
she can buy porn, and she is officially
no longer of sexual interest to Jeffrey Galanis.
[Dot] Oh, my God. Why?
[Martha] It makes me a little sad, actually,
'cause I'm sure Dot would rather spend her birthday
at, like, a laser tag place or hibachi restaurant
or literally anywhere else.
[Fatin] But instead, she's hanging out
with our sorry asses
and this bottle of brut from...Idaho.
Jesus, Barbara, have some self-respect.
We have to go big.
Hmm?
I said, "That's why we have to go big."
All right. I'm talking about a party here, y'all,
and not some sad little round of applause, okay?
I'm talking a deluxe full-scale absolute birthday blow-out.
Honestly, the way I want it to play out,
we won't even need the champagne.
- Yes, we will. - Because we're gonna get
so freaking trashed on fun... - And champagne.
[Shelby] That it's gonna feel just like home, okay?
Not just for the birthday girl, but for all of us.
All right. Time to mobilize.
- Sorry. - Oh, oh.
I was sort of standing there, but...
Oh, my God. This is exciting!
- Are you excited? - Oh, my God. Yeah.
And I feel like you're giving me
some major divorced-dad-energy vibes,
like you're taking us to Six Flags
because you feel guilty for missing out
on the last five years of our lives.
I didn't miss anything.
Okay. So, listen. I'm thinking we do a surprise beach party.
Does Dot even like surprises?
She hates surprises, end quote.
Okay. Let's stick with a surprise, all right?
Today's about Dotty, okay?
We should give her exactly what she'll learn to love.
All right. See, all right, all right, all right.
It is all coming together in my head now.
Moonlight, bonfire, maybe even a little luau vibe.
Cultural appropriation. I'm not even mad at it.
- Fatin, what's the date? [Fatin] July 18th.
Sweet baby, Jesus. Eighteen on the 18th.
We have a golden birthday. Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay.
First things first, we gotta keep her busy till go-time.
Fatin, Leah, you're on Dot-distraction duty.
But, how do we even do that?
I delegate, you figure it out.
Okay. Rachel, Martha, Babe. On your feet.
Let's prep it here, and then we'll set it up on the beach.
- What have you done? [Fatin] I think I've unleashed
some sort of party coke fiend.
Okay, I know he's off-theme,
but if you have a piñata, you use him.
Am I right?
[Seth] Good length. Good reach.
What do we think?
Fine.
Man, I feel like I'm waiting tables at Bandera again.
It's a restaurant in Chicago.
[Kirin] You can keep trying, dude,
but I see straight through you.
[Seth] Yeah, y-you got me.
I-I never waited tables. I was only a busboy.
Man, that's crazy perceptive. How did you know that...
[Kirin] Not talking about that, dude.
I'm talking about your game here.
How you're working the group,
trying to be everyone's favorite camp counselor.
Oh, that.
No. Y-you're right, Kirin. I'm an evil genius.
And that's my diabolical plot, to be nice to people.
Okay, maybe I want people to like me.
Maybe that's not a maybe.
Okay, I definitely want people to like me.
But that's not something I'm, like, proud of.
But...look at me.
I mean, I-I'm out here making jokes, tap dancing for you,
but you say and do whatever the fuck you want,
not a single fuck given.
I'm not built like that.
And that's not some bullshit I'm just saying
to get you to like me. That's the...
that's the truth.
Whatever, dude.
Enough.
What's wrong?
Your meds not working?
Pick those up.
How's it going down there, by the way? You still drippy?
Stop thinking about my dick...
and pick those up, like I said.
I see right through you too.
And the tough-guy thing isn't gonna work either, dude.
Now what I will say, now that we cleared the air,
that clap thing aside...
No, I wish that I could just...
[groans]
I wish I could just fuck random girls like you.
But with me, it's like,
as soon as I zero-in on someone, she's, like...
the only one that I see and I'm like all-in.
Oh, ho, ho, ho. You're that guy.
I'm the that-est that guy.
I got so committed last time,
that when my girlfriend broke up with me,
I couldn't break up with the cat.
The puss that good, huh?
Oh...[laughs] yeah. Really, really great.
But I meant I literally took her cat, though.
Her parents called it kidnapping.
I called it borrowing.
[Kirin chuckles] Creepshow.
It's actually why I'm here, to "get perspective
and stop being so codependent," or whatever.
Listen, bro,
you gotta play the field instead.
It's like they say,
"Always bring sand to the beach."
Right, right.
"Bring sand to the beach." No, it's good advice.
[twig snaps]
[tense music]
♪ ♪
[twigs snapping]
[Josh whistling]
Oh!
[clattering]
[continues whistling]
Ha.
How cool is that?
I learned this at circus camp when I was a kid.
Maybe try and stay on task?
Yeah.
It's crazy that we don't know each other better.
Like, why aren't you in the Latinx club?
I'm not of the decent, but they let me sit in to learn.
By the way, which do you prefer?
Hispanic, Latino?
Mexican is fine.
You're saying that I can say it?
You're, like, giving me a pass right now?
Mexican isn't a slur, Josh.
I know, right?
Like, I always tell my family not to wear sombreros
on Cinco de Mayo.
They don't get how their appropriation
white-washes the spirit of anti-colonial resistance.
Really learned a lot in that club there.
[Josh] I have.
And that is why I only celebrate Día de los Muertos,
good ol' Mexican Halloween.
[Leah laughs] Mexican Halloween?
Now, he did not actually call it that.
[Raf] He did. He took a sacred, centuries-old tradition
and Caucasianed the hell out of it.
He had gotten so much right.
Like, I was actually starting to root for him.
Me too.
Still am, actually.
But why didn't you stop him?
Explain to him where he had gone wrong?
It's his problem, not mine.
No, yeah. I know.
I wasn't trying to say that it was your responsibility.
I don't know.
I've learned that if you let people talk like that,
they end up revealing a lot about themselves.
It's like the one okay thing about being the quiet guy.
I don't tell on myself as much.
Maybe the saying is right... less is more.
[Ivan] Behold.
Excalibur.
Chhh!
Always doing the most, man.
Yo, Ivan?
Look, I love it.
You know, you're getting into it,
feeling the Wakanda-forever shit, but I...
[scoffs]
No. I do not do the MCU, Skippy.
I'm not a philistine.
This is Camelot, you know? This is Arthurian.
[Scotty] Yeah, see. That's...
that's what I'm tryna talk to you about.
I mean, do you really got to be so extra all the time?
I don't know. Do you have to be so short?
So petite?
So absolutely chode-sized?
[Scotty] That was a good one. Yeah, no.
All I'm saying is, you know,
we got to stay on task to get shit done.
So, like, maybe quit prancing around and man up?
Wow. I cannot believe this bullshit followed me here.
You know, you do understand that we share
a common enemy, right?
But because of gender policers like you
who don't like my crop tops or my so-called broken wrists...
Man, I didn't even say all that.
I mean, I don't have the time to explain subtext to you,
but you actually and totally did.
[Henry] I'm not taking sides here.
I cannot stress enough, no sides.
But for the sake of the trap, Ivan,
your spear has to be a little more...functional.
Exactly! Thanks for taking my side, man.
[Ivan] I'll have you know, my spear is very functional.
But more importantly, it's a statement.
[Scotty] Jesus fucking Christ.
The jag doesn't care about your statement.
It's trying to kill us.
A-and it's gonna take some real men to kill it first.
Tell me, Scotty. What makes you a real man?
A lot of shit. I like to stand when I piss.
I like a big breakfast.
And I do everything I can to hustle hard
and save up money to support my fucking family.
Oh. You know what? I can't tell if that's sweet,
or just a clichéd rap bar.
You know what? Fuck you, you fucking pussy.
[Seth] Look alive, boys.
Yeah.
We come bearing gifts.
[Scotty] Yo, what the fuck is that?
[Kirin] Bait.
- Like, real bait. [Bo] It stinks.
Which is why it'll be an affective lure,
better than the jerky even.
Well done.
Scout's salute.
[fart noise]
[Kirin laughs]
[Kirin] What have you fuckers been up to, huh?
Making wands?
[Ivan] Yeah, okay. And the fucking pile-on.
She's not a wand.
[Seth] Man, you guys did some fucking damage.
All right. When we finish sharpening this new batch,
let's take it to the bunker.
This is gonna fucking work.
Fuck.
Hey, hey, hey, hey! There she is.
Excited much?
[Fatin] Dorothy!
Where are you going?
I'm dragging this log back to camp.
I thought we could use it as a crossbeam or, like, seating.
[Leah imitates buzzer] Can't let you do that, pal.
Yeah. Camp's a no-go zone.
Pal? What are you talking about?
The others are over there.
They're doing Tai Chi. Capoeira.
Yeah, one of those martial arts.
It's also very gentle.
But, yeah. Anyways, it's very sacred
and we can't interrupt.
- Is she okay? [Fatin] Oh, yeah.
Just Leah.
Honestly, though, do you mind coming back for the log
and helping us snare some birds?
Martha's not feeling up for the hunt.
What's wrong with her? Is she okay?
I mean, I don't want to be indiscreet,
but it is spelled D-I-A-H-H, or...
She's just fine. Just a stomachache.
It's... [fart noise]
[Fatin] So you'll come with us, right? Yeah?
I mean, you're terrible with a slingshot,
but I'd rather arm you than this nutjob.
Yeah. Let's just get this over with.
It just keeps coming out. Just keeps coming out.
[ambient music]
♪ ♪
[breathing heavily]
♪ ♪
[Toni] Nailed it, right?
We figured Dot's fucking classic,
so we kept it simple, earthy.
And I stuck some little four-leaf clovers
on there for luck.
But...well, I mean, they're not actual four-leaf clovers.
I just split one of the leaves to fake it.
So, what do you think?
Ladies, I do not have time to be anything
but straightforward here, all right?
It's a no. Like an epic no.
I said make a crown.
This...this is like a sad wreath.
And if I saw it hanging on somebody's door,
I would say to myself, "Whoever lives in there has given up."
Wow, Shelby.
- I'm sorry. [Shelby] It's fine, Martha.
I'm just a little disappointed.
Not in you, all right, just the work, okay?
And in Toni.
Oh. Oh, okay.
Here it comes. Drag me.
[Shelby] Babe, you know my taste better than this.
Would it kill you to add some color?
Blossoms, berries, anything to make it pop?
Yeah. Heard, heard. I'll take another crack at it.
[Shelby] Thank you. I know I'm being tough.
I just...I want this to be amazing, okay?
I know, Bee. I got you. We'll come through.
Are you like a clone?
Seriously, like, are you even you?
Because the Toni that I know would have given her
a roundhouse kick for that attitude.
God, shut up. It's cute on her.
Fucking sexy, actually.
[Martha] Okay, ew. Stop it.
Cringe.
Seriously, though.
I'm really loving how happy she's made you.
And I've never seen you so mellow.
Yeah. It's great.
But also weird. Like, I don't know.
I've got, like, a real faith in her or something.
Like, there's no hiding and no secrets.
Makes me feel sort of safe, which is new.
[Rachel] Beach party setup's looking good, okay?
I set up the tikis already, rigged up a little limbo game,
and I probably shouldn't talk it up,
but my sandcastle cake is a fucking work of art.
Hey, check it. I made a little mock-up.
Three tiers, shells all over, sparklers as toppers.
Well, I'm sure it's stunning.
And I cannot wait to see it.
You know, the others need to take a page
out of your playbook 'cause you're, like,
the only person making my life easier today.
Yeah. Happy...happy to do that for you.
[Shelby] We might pull this off.
Like, this might actually be magical.
Friends, champagne,
perfect weather, beautiful scenery...
Just slow your fucking roll.
Just maybe like don't get so poetic about this island.
It's not fucking paradise.
Oh, God. Rachel, I'm so sorry.
I did not mean to say that this island was, like...
or that I don't want to get off this island because I...
Rachel, that was just incredibly thoughtless of me.
- It's okay. - No, it's not.
I shouldn't have even tasked you with anything.
Is it too much? How are you?
Shelby, it's fine. I'm fine.
I'm cool.
I'm just a little touchy today, but I'm fine.
Really.
Like, really, you got to get out there
and see my three-tier, god-tier fucking masterpiece.
I'm sure it's magnificent.
Yeah.
[Josh] High-five.
Well, it's more of a low-five for me,
but here's to the last one.
Sorry I stayed up here, by the way.
My claustrophobia... it's probably the worst phobia.
Well, there's xeno.
Super glad I don't have that one.
Oh, I am so sorry.
[chuckles]
What do you think he'd rate it?
[laughing]
Oh, a...seven.
Yeah, like a level-seven documentation regurgitation.
Pretty good. That's pretty good.
Thank you.
Do you think Seth would let me intern for Spillz?
Man, I would do anything for that gig,
except move to Chicago.
My sinuses would not last a day in that climate. I...
Sorry.
Sorry, I don't mean to talk so much.
I...I know it's a lot.
Yeah, maybe. No offense.
I didn't say much at all till I was seven actually.
I had this lisp that I felt weird about.
Once it went away, I guess I sort of made up for lost time.
Once at dinner, my dad goes to my mom,
"I'm beginning to regret
spending all that money on Dr. Brimmer."
The speech therapist.
Man, that's tough.
They are tough. That is their thing. Ha.
Which worked on my brother and sister,
who were basically superhumans.
Like, they are crazy popular.
They played volleyball at USC.
And they both do modeling
for a sustainable orthodontics company.
[laughing]
Meanwhile, I'm over here
with not a huge ton of friends
and a propensity to get stress hives.
That's why they sent me on this retreat actually,
to be less like that.
"Learn a little grit," my mom said.
Maybe it's working.
You think?
You're surviving.
Making friends.
[Kirin] San Diego!
Come on, boys. Let's make us a trap.
[Scotty] Let's get into it. [Seth] All right!
Let's get to work.
[indistinct chatter]
- [boy] Can you get me a rope? - [boy] Yeah.
[Seth] Two more here.
[Raf] Two down here, at least two.
[Bo] Just checking. You need any more?
[indistinct chatter]
♪ ♪
You guys think we could all put our hands in
and do that shout again?
- What? I liked it. - No.
Now that we're on ground zero,
we have to be as stealthy as the jag we're hunting.
Shh.
[all] Surprise!
Yeah!
[Dot] I hate you.
- All of you. - We love you too, Dorothy.
[Dot] Well, not that I didn't see it coming,
because you have a shit-ass poker face.
Okay, so I'm not a smooth person.
Moving on.
[both] You are a hard-ass working queen.
[Shelby] And...
[humming]
[Rachel] Retired.
[light laughter]
Oh, my God. You...
Fatin might have been the leak,
but I know you were behind this.
[Rachel] All right. Enough of that.
Let's get this party started!
[cheering]
[singer] ♪ Clap, clap, slow clap ♪
♪ Been the champion, rang the bell ♪
♪ Rocked the bottom, been through hell ♪
♪ Climbed the mountain, now I'm well ♪
♪ I just feel like coming back for the belt ♪
♪ I've been slipping and slipping ♪
♪ But now I'm back for double-dipping ♪
♪ Who am I kidding? I'm winning ♪
♪ My gentleman is for myself ♪
♪ I'm throwin' a Hail Mary to no one else ♪
♪ That's why I'm cheering for myself ♪
♪ Come on, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap ♪
♪ Clap, de-clap, de-clap, clap, slow clap ♪
♪ Walk into the room like a boss, slow clap ♪
♪ Putting on a little extra sauce, slow clap ♪
♪ Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap ♪
♪ Clap, de-clap, de-clap, clap, slow clap ♪
♪ Sidestepping people down the hall, slow clap ♪
♪ Winter, spring or summer, or the fall, slow clap ♪
♪ I don't wanna go to the back of the line ♪
♪ No, no, I put in my time ♪
♪ From the garage to the penthouse, girls ♪
♪ Underdog to the top of the world ♪
♪ Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap ♪
♪ Clap, de-clap, de-clap, clap, slow clap ♪
♪ Walk into the room like a boss, slow clap ♪
♪ Puttin' on a little extra sauce, slow clap ♪
♪ Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap ♪
♪ Clap, de-clap, de-clap, clap, slow clap ♪
♪ Sidestepping people down the hall, slow clap ♪♪
[Dot] Listen, um...
[small laugh] With what I'm about to say,
just know that the bar is really low, but...
This is the best birthday that I've ever had.
[Martha laughs]
My best birthday was two years ago,
and Toni snuck us into a casino.
[Toni] Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Marty over here wanted to go see those nerdy magicians.
[Martha] It was Penn and Teller,
and they're illusionists.
[Toni] Okay, I was the illusionist,
sliding us past that asshole bouncer.
[Shelby] Well, as memorable as that sounds,
my sweet 16 had you beat.
It was a "Great Gatsby" theme.
And we actually rented like an old car.
And the best part was when my dad surprised me
with a birthday video from none other than...
Joel Scott Osteen.
I... [laughs]
What? That was... It was good. I loved it.
[laughter]
This just, like, kind of reminds me...
That I only have one birthday to celebrate from now on.
Not two.
So fuck all your birthdays.
[somber music]
♪ ♪
I got this.
- Dot, no. [Dot] What?
[Shelby] Maybe you should, like,
just act your age for once.
Well, I'm actually an adult now, so...
[Leah] Okay. Then don't act your age.
That's our real gift to you.
You're retired, honey, just like Barbara.
Let me take this one, all right?
[Henry] This isn't gonna work.
Man, why would you say that? You pitched the trap.
[Seth] Yeah, Hen, don't relapse on me.
[Henry] I'm not saying we're gonna die.
I just think we'll have to pivot.
Statistically speaking, first plans never work.
Have you ever seen the early drafts of "Bugs Bunny,"
as sketched by the original artist?
[Kirin] Oh, yeah.
Yes, I have.
You have?
No, shithead. I was fucking with you.
Why would I have seen that?
Anyway, they're horrifying.
Bugs looks like a DMT hallucination.
[jaguar growls]
[eerie music]
♪ ♪
[punchy music]
♪ ♪
[jaguar growls]
It's still alive. [jaguar growls]
[growls, snarls]
Fuck. It's rearing back. It's gonna fucking get out.
Ivan, throw it to me!
[jaguar growling]
- [grunting] - [snarling]
- Aah! - [weaker growl]
- Aah! - [weak growl]
[snarling]
Uhh!
[jaguar quiets down]
[panting]
[whooping, laughing]
[Kirin trills]
[overlapping shouting]
[grunting rhythmically] Ooh ooh ooh ooh,
ah ah ah ah,
ooh ooh ooh ooh,
ah ah ah ah,
ooh ooh ooh ooh,
[faster] ah ah ah ah,
ooh ooh ooh ooh, ah ah ah ah,
Aaaaah!
[all scream]
- [laughing] - Yea-ea-ah!
[chatter, laughter, whooping]
[trilling, whooping]
[making various sounds]
[laughter, chatter]
Ha ha ha.
Oh, man.
Just whole DNA lacking rhythm.
I mean, that boy look like he dancing for KitKot, not TikTok.
Hey, I just want to say, you know,
you really held it down at the bunker.
[Ivan] Hmm, while you ran.
- How virile of you. - I had to.
One of us always dies in that scenario.
Wasn't gonna be me.
[chuckling]
Look, I know it's your style, but you can't
just joke your way back to congeniality with me, okay?
I need, like, a reckoning.
Look, man, I was getting there, all right?
It's...it's my bad about earlier,
all that shit I said.
I was out of line.
You know, I don't even...
I don't know where it comes from
or, like, why I feel like that, but...sorry.
We're cool.
[Scotty] Oh. Oh!
- Okay. Hey. - Okay, okay.
Wakanda forever, my brother.
[Kirin] I am the Jag Slayer!
I am gladiator!
[Ivan] Oh, no.
I'm not letting him steal all the shine for this.
- Go get it. [Kirin] Take me northward!
[Bo] Yeah, yeah, lift him.
[Kirin] I said...
Big boy, here ya go!
- [laughter] - [yelling]
[Ivan] Yes, Warrior O'Connor.
Yes, you may have dealt the final blow,
but what is a knight without his steel?
If not for my weaponry excellence,
what the fuck then?
Is not the real hero of the hour...
Okay, where is she?
Your spear is in there.
It was pretty gross.
[Ivan] Excalibur died for us.
She made the ultimate sacrifice!
We put her through...
You should be up on some shoulders,
getting the Gatorade bath.
Oh, nah.
[Ivan] We tossed her in. - [growls]
[Raf] Come on. You basically put this whole thing together.
"Yes, and" style.
Hey.
- This... - [laughs]
This is all you, man.
No, no.
[Raf] Hey, while we're spreading the glory around,
give it up to the guy who kind of got us going.
The man with a plan, Seth "Spillz" Novak.
- [cheers] - [Raf] Yes!
[whooping]
[Josh] Speech, speech!
No, no, no.
No...okay, okay.
I might have a tight five in me. Uh...
How is everybody doing tonight?
- [cheers] [Josh] We are good!
[Seth] Hey, is anyone here on a date?
How about any newlyweds in the audience, recently married?
No? Okay.
And castaways?
Anyone here stranded on a deserted fucking island?
- [cheers] - [Raf] Yes!
[Ivan] All of us!
[Seth] You know, I... I vividly remember the day
that I met each of you.
Not that there's anything particularly special
about any of you, but because who could possibly forget
a catastrophic fucking plane crash?
No, but seriously, you...
you all left big impressions on me that day.
I remember Scotty and Bo,
so clearly each other's ride-or-die.
I bet you didn't think that "die" would be
a literal possibility, huh?
- No. No, I didn't. [Seth] No? Okay.
I remember Ivan with his sick loafers.
And, look, I know that they're worse for wear,
but maybe I can borrow 'em one day.
- We'll talk. [Seth] We will. We'll talk.
Josh, who after, like, half an hour of knowing him,
had already offered me, like, six homeopathic remedies
and a Schedule II drug.
Nice.
And I don't remember Henry 'cause I don't have to.
- [howls] [Seth] Okay?
And Kirin, who I first wrote off
as a juicehead asshole.
Seriously, man, when are you gonna change my mind on that?
- [laughter] - Oh!
Spillz, you little piss-ant. Fuck you.
I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Please don't hurt me.
Please, sit down.
No, seriously,
without your "act first, think later" attitude,
I mean, you've helped us more than once, man.
So, respect.
And then, there's Raf.
You know, there's no joke here, man, there's no punchline.
We stared down some dark shit together that first day,
and...I don't know if it's man-of-few-words thing,
but you have this calm about you that saved my sanity.
[clears throat]
Fuck. We were strangers.
We were strangers who came together.
And, what did we fucking do?!
We were strangers who came together
and we killed a motherfucking jag!
[cheering]
[screaming]
[indistinct shouting]
Nice shit, bruh.
- Whoo! - Oh!
[laughter]
[Kirin] Nuclear pantsing, dawg!
[laughter]
[Kirin] Nuclear pantsing!
What the fuck, man?
[Kirin] Oh...oh, wait...
Aw, boo!
- [booing] - [Josh] Come back!
Aw, come on, fuckers. Let's drink!
Whoo!
It won't go away.
The pain?
I understand.
My best friend...
killed herself last year.
I know that blame is hard to put on one person...
But I deserve a lot of it.
I kissed her.
But when her parents found out,
I told them it was the other way around.
Got everyone to believe that she was wrong, sick.
I got her believing it too.
The guilt.
The shame I felt.
Sometimes I even wanted to...follow her.
What was her name?
Becca.
And how did you, like, pull yourself up and out of that?
Dear Lord, you are my shield, my defender.
You're my healing, my provider.
You're my peace.
You're my joy, my wisdom, and my strength.
You are the glory and the one who will lift my head high.
It was my faith.
And just holding on to those words:
"Dear Lord, you are my shield, my defender," the whole thing.
Just over and over again, like a mantra.
Just sort of made me feel steady.
Until one day, I actually was.
Dear Lord.
- You are my shield. - You are my shield.
[Shelby] My defender. - My defender.
- You're my peace. [Rachel] You're my peace.
- You're my joy. - You're my joy.
[Shelby] My wisdom and my strength.
[Shelby] You are the glory. - You are the glory.
And the one that will lift my head high.
Amen.
[excited chatter]
[Josh] There he is!
Oh.
I was worried about you, man.
Bro, you have just got to...
you just got to, like, not even let it get to you
'cause that is how they win.
Trust me. Ha. I know exactly how you feel.
Like, this one time, I got pantsed by Chloe King
during my sixth grade spelling bee. Ugh!
It was like the exact same thing,
except my underwear stayed up
and I was spelling "amnesty" at the time.
Oh, and this isn't pantsing,
but one time, my brother made me lick the toilet seat.
But not the top.
The underside of the seat.
Josh.
Thank you, really.
But I'm good.
Anytime, man.
[chuckles]
Except now,
because bedtime.
[chuckles]
Good night, Joshy. Ha.
Ah.
[chatter in distance]
[unsettling music]
♪ ♪
[exhales heavily]
I wasn't there, you know?
I was with the others,
so, you know, this is what I heard after.
Keep going, please.
I'm not supposed to tell anyone.
But, I don't know.
Sometimes I just...
I want to say it out loud.
I have to hear it out loud.
He went to him.
And he, uh...
Raf.
[whispers] They're listening.
[Leah whispering] We'll find another way.
I'll find another way.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
I'm actually too tired. Sorry.
[Faber] Whoa. Wait, what just happened?
She had him. She had him on the threshold.
And she stopped him.
She fucking snaked us.
[Faber] I'll go intercept her.
I'll sit her back down, and we'll regroup.
- No. - No.
I hate seeing promising people.
Such a bitter pill when they disappoint you.
[eerie music]
♪ ♪
[distant voices chatting]
Seth?
[Seth] Do you think I'm like you?
Do you think I'm like you?
- Do you think I'm like you?! - What did I do?
[Seth] I'm nothing fucking like you!
I'm nothing fucking like you.
Nothing.
Nothing. Nothing.
[distant shout, chatter]
Don't. Don't you move!
[grunting]
[groaning]
I'm nothing like you, I'm nothing like you.
I'm nothing... I'm nothing fucking like you.
[Seth grunting]
[excited chatter in distance]
[sinister music]
♪ ♪
[dark chords]
[child] Beep, beep. Coming through.