1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,043 [TV static drones] 2 00:00:02,127 --> 00:00:05,588 [bright tone] 3 00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:08,508 [country music playing] 4 00:00:08,591 --> 00:00:09,801 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,428 - ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 6 00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:13,638 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 7 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,851 ♪ There will come a payday someday, someday ♪ 8 00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:19,644 ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 9 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:22,063 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 10 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:25,316 ♪ There will come a payday someday ♪ 11 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,360 ♪ When I laid my work by ♪ 12 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,571 ♪ I've a home in the sky ♪ 13 00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:33,283 ♪ For there will come a payday someday ♪ 14 00:00:33,324 --> 00:00:37,328 ♪ Where no interest comes due or notes to renew ♪ 15 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:41,332 ♪ Oh, there will come a payday someday ♪ 16 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:45,503 ♪ Here, I work every day for such bigger pay ♪ 17 00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:49,257 ♪ But there will come a payday someday ♪ 18 00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:53,386 ♪ And the title's not clear to the home I own here ♪ 19 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:57,849 ♪ But there will come a payday someday ♪ 20 00:00:57,932 --> 00:00:59,476 ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 21 00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:01,686 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 22 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:05,815 ♪ There will come a payday someday, someday ♪ 23 00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:07,233 ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 24 00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,569 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 25 00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:12,947 ♪ There will come a payday someday ♪ 26 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:17,369 ♪ ♪ 27 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:21,373 ♪ Our wonderful Lord gives a home as reward ♪ 28 00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:25,377 ♪ 'Cause there will come a payday someday ♪ 29 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:29,381 ♪ His work cleanly shows he'll never foreclose ♪ 30 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:33,551 ♪ He promised a payday that day ♪ 31 00:01:33,634 --> 00:01:37,430 ♪ When the door opens wide with its beauty inside ♪ 32 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:41,309 ♪ Oh, what a grand payday that day ♪ 33 00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:45,396 ♪ With a handshake and then, "Brother, come right on in" ♪ 34 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:49,651 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday that day ♪ 35 00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:51,527 all: ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 36 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,738 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 37 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:57,450 ♪ There will come a payday someday, someday ♪ 38 00:01:57,533 --> 00:01:59,285 ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 39 00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:01,663 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 40 00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:05,917 ♪ There will come a payday someday ♪ 41 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,711 - Yes! 42 00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:09,838 Baby Billy loves you now. 43 00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:11,256 Baby Billy loves you so much. 44 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,341 It's so good to be with all y'all 45 00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:15,385 here at Zion's Landing. 46 00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:19,973 Now, come see me now, 7:00 at the Mangrove Pavilion, 47 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,099 every night. 48 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,308 You gon' love it. 49 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,436 [scattered cheers] 50 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:29,649 Every night. 51 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,359 [baby crying] 52 00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:33,153 Daddy's home. - Ugh. 53 00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,405 Must be hot out there. 54 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:38,116 - You bet your ass it's hot. 55 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,285 It's hotter than hell, if I'm being honest. 56 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,287 [grunts] - [sighs] 57 00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:44,372 If we weren't staying in this fancy hotel, 58 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,124 I don't think I could do it. 59 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,877 - Yeah, the commute ain't bad. 60 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:53,381 The rest of it's wearing thin, singing by a fucking pool. 61 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,133 - It's a nice pool. 62 00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:57,135 You're doing so well for somebody who used to be 63 00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:58,720 a famous singer long ago. 64 00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:01,097 - What you talking 'bout, used to be famous? 65 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,807 I'm still famous. 66 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,309 - Of course. 67 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:05,977 - Why do you want to play mind games? 68 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,145 Get all in my head? 69 00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:10,190 - Baby, you're being silly. 70 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:13,735 I'm very proud of you, and so is Lionel. 71 00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,528 Aren't you, buddy? 72 00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:18,406 - Everybody that's famous knows 73 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,784 that true famous people go through different phases 74 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:22,577 on the Being Famous Train. 75 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:24,329 I'm a international-known talent. 76 00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:25,954 I deserve a mainstay, 77 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:29,000 not singing for a bunch of basic Christian sun bums. 78 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,335 - Yeah. 79 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:31,294 - That lasts at least ten years. 80 00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:32,629 [buzzer beeps] 81 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:34,714 - That's what I need right there. 82 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:37,384 My own game show. 83 00:03:37,466 --> 00:03:39,594 Just standing in air conditioning all day, 84 00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:42,805 looking cool, being charming. 85 00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:45,850 Boy, I bet they knock out 20 of them episodes a day, 86 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:46,935 printing money. 87 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,145 - Bet you a game show host makes a bunch of money. 88 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:50,522 - Yep. 89 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,524 That pretty girl that hands out prizes, 90 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:55,026 she makes a lot of money too, now. 91 00:03:55,067 --> 00:03:57,028 - I can hand out prizes on TV? 92 00:03:57,112 --> 00:04:00,490 - Well, you the prettiest girl I know. 93 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,492 And if Lionel learns how to speak, 94 00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,202 he could be our announcer. 95 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,370 - And a job for our baby Aimee-Leigh Jr. 96 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:06,621 when she gets born. 97 00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:09,416 - If she's got talent, you bet your ass. 98 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:13,003 I think we just witnessed a mission from God. 99 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:16,380 - Is that what that was? 100 00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:17,589 - It's time for Baby Billy to be 101 00:04:17,673 --> 00:04:19,134 back on the motherfucking TV. 102 00:04:19,216 --> 00:04:20,760 [cheers and applause] 103 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:21,803 - Yay! 104 00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:25,140 - ♪ Praise ♪ 105 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:28,393 [dramatic orchestral music] 106 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:32,647 ♪ Praise ♪ 107 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:35,400 - Them feds were everywhere, jumping out from trees, 108 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,319 behind bushes, screaming and hollering. 109 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,321 - So much screaming and hollering. 110 00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,157 - Motherfuckers got Ruby Ridged. 111 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,742 - We made it to the safe house, 112 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,202 but then Pa said y'all called the feds, 113 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,079 and he accused us of helping you. 114 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,622 - [mumbling] And don't forget about 115 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,832 cutting the tip of Jacob's ear off. 116 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:53,001 - Chew your food. 117 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,086 God gave you teeth for a reason. 118 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,588 - Yes, ma'am. 119 00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,256 - You sure you didn't tip off the law, Eli? 120 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,215 I could see you doing that. 121 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,800 - I already told you no. 122 00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,677 I never wanted nothing to do with this. 123 00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:05,472 - Well, he thinks you did, and that's all that matters, 124 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:08,433 so now we're on his shit list too. 125 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,601 Thanks, Mama. 126 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:12,354 - How can you hate me more than him? 127 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,689 Blame me for everything. Everything's my fault! 128 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,317 - Because everything is your fault! 129 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,152 Bringing the Gemstones into this? 130 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,779 Now look where we are. 131 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:23,990 - In a mansion, wearing fucking bathrobes? 132 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:26,743 [choking] - Oh, shit! 133 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,703 - All right, Chuck, stop your fussing and your talking back. 134 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:29,704 Just come home. 135 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,623 - We ain't going nowhere with you. 136 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,500 Get that through your head. 137 00:05:33,582 --> 00:05:36,336 We'd rather be homeless bums living under a bridge. 138 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,545 - We would? 139 00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,756 - Yes, Karl, we would. 140 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:44,177 - [gasping] Why? 141 00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:46,638 - May-May! 142 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:49,391 Where the heck you think you're going, dummy? 143 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,811 - You heard 'em. Just like you, they hate me. 144 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,854 - Maybe they grew up smarter than they seem. 145 00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:57,023 Is this how you're gonna handle your boys? 146 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,316 Just walk away? 147 00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,484 - If I don't leave, they're going to. 148 00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:00,985 At least here, there's guarded gates 149 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,445 between them and their father. 150 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:05,240 - No, no, you're not sticking your boys with me. 151 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:06,950 No, I'm not harboring fugitives. 152 00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:08,660 Now, I'll give 'em some walking around money 153 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,620 and send them on their way. - No, you won't. 154 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,247 They'll get themselves killed. 155 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,998 You keep 'em here. You keep 'em safe. 156 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,250 You're their uncle. 157 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:18,169 [soft dramatic music] 158 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,963 ♪ ♪ 159 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:22,841 Do you want me to say "please"? Fine, Eli. 160 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:27,012 Please, please keep that wicked man away from my sons. 161 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:32,017 [engine turns over] 162 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:37,689 ♪ ♪ 163 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,316 - She kung fu'd my larynx, Daddy. 164 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:43,111 My voice is God's gift, dude. 165 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,321 May-May could have ruined that forever just now. 166 00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,282 - Yeah, what were you thinking, Daddy? 167 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:48,700 You won't even help your own kids, 168 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,534 but you'll take in these bozos? 169 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:54,039 - Two fucking fugitives just roaming around the compound 170 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,207 like damn free-range chickens. 171 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,251 - They're not livestock, Jesse. 172 00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,587 They're our family, first cousins. 173 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,048 - Uh, they're fucking Montgomerys is what they are. 174 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,174 Fucking savages. 175 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,551 I have zero sympathy for that family. 176 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,719 Zero. - Same. 177 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,304 You know what we should do, Daddy? 178 00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:10,764 We should be all "return to sender." 179 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,932 Ship 'em right back to crazy Aunt May-May. 180 00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:15,352 Mm-kay? Let her deal with it. Bye-bye. 181 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:17,687 - She can't deal. That's why they're here. 182 00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,731 Make your cousins feel comfortable. 183 00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:22,233 They're family. Spend some time with 'em. 184 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,902 - Gross. 185 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,612 We don't want to spend time with them creeps. 186 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,406 - Mm-mm. - You think I want 'em here? 187 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,241 I'm not asking. I'm telling. 188 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:33,161 - Shit. One of 'em's looking. 189 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:35,914 Okay, I just saw one of 'em look 190 00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:38,457 and then duck down, Haunted Mansion style. 191 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,294 Just watch. 192 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,129 See? There they are! - Oh! 193 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:44,506 - Fucking Montgomerys. 194 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,257 We see you! 195 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,634 Let 'em watch. 196 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,094 - Yeah, fuck y'all. 197 00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,179 - [laughs] 198 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:54,307 - Sit and spin, bitches. 199 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,142 - Go home. Nobody likes you here. 200 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,603 That's what we think about our cousins, Daddy. 201 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,648 - Yeah, we don't like them. 202 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:05,276 [knocker rapping] 203 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,158 - BJ. Is Judy here? 204 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,285 - No, she's out. 205 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,328 What did you need? 206 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:16,996 - I had something for her. 207 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,456 Here. 208 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,417 If she wants me to explain how to use it, I can, 209 00:08:20,457 --> 00:08:21,793 or there's also a video included 210 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,545 that can explain it as well. 211 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,755 - Is this a board game? We love games. 212 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:28,675 - No, it is the opposite of a silly game. 213 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,553 It's The System, my at-home relationship counseling kit. 214 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,346 - Counseling? 215 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:35,432 Did Judy ask for this? 216 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:39,436 - No, I was just, um-- I was just dropping it by 217 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:40,770 in case she wanted to take a look at it, 218 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,480 'cause she didn't ask for it, 'cause she doesn't need it. 219 00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:43,690 No one needs it. 220 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:44,941 There are people that need it. 221 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:48,528 But there's no specific reason why I'm bringing it by today. 222 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,864 - Well, I'll make sure she gets it. 223 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,956 - The System? 224 00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:05,420 - That's where they keep the cars, right? 225 00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:08,965 - Think so. - [chuckles] 226 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,017 - Where the fuck do those honkies think they're going? 227 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:22,020 - Oh, wow. 228 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:27,108 - These motherfuckers. 229 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,110 [dramatic guitar music] 230 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,237 - No way. 231 00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,491 [laughs] 232 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:40,497 ♪ ♪ 233 00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:42,165 It's the Redeemer! 234 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,042 [laughs] - Whoo! 235 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,252 - I can't believe he's still got it. 236 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,046 - Oh, she's beautiful. 237 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,422 - She's so pretty. 238 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,549 - Oh, I want to get all up in there. 239 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,843 - Get in there, big brother. Get in there. 240 00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,929 - Help me. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 241 00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,391 - [grunting] - Yep. 242 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:00,725 What's it like? What's it like? 243 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,435 - It's amazing. - [laughs] 244 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,229 - It's fucking awesome! - Whoo! 245 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,188 - Oh, my God! 246 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,690 - Chuck, you were born to drive that thing. 247 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:07,982 - What should we smash? 248 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:08,858 - Everything! 249 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:13,238 [horn honking musically] 250 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,198 - Yeah! Whoo! 251 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,574 - No, God damn it! 252 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,201 That's private property right there. 253 00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:20,495 Get your greasy, grimy Montgomery paws off my truck! 254 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:21,913 - Well, sorry, Jesse. 255 00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,916 I mean, we just can't believe you still got it. 256 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,252 We remember you smashing and crashing stuff 257 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,628 just like it was yesterday. 258 00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,588 - I bet she still purrs like a kitten. 259 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,382 - Don't you talk about that thing being a kitten! 260 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,050 That's my monster truck. 261 00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,469 That's a five-ton wrecking machine, son. 262 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:37,804 Get out before you break something. 263 00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,597 - Take it easy, Jesse. 264 00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:40,807 - Take it easy? Take it easy. 265 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:44,561 - Got it, Chuck? - Take it easy, huh? 266 00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:47,397 - Truck just brings back some fond memories. 267 00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:48,898 You ever take her out anymore? 268 00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,567 - Ooh, I'd love that! 269 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:51,901 Oh, please, Jesse? 270 00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:53,403 I never got a chance to drive it. 271 00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:55,321 - And you never will, numb nuts. 272 00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:56,406 Just 'cause my daddy says 273 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:57,824 it's cool for y'all to stay here 274 00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,409 doesn't mean we're gonna be cool cousins 275 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:00,869 all now of a sudden. 276 00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:04,831 We ain't cool cousins, and we never will be again. 277 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:07,334 [sniffs] You smell that? 278 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,585 - Yeah. 279 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,253 - You boys need to go shower off or wash. 280 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,339 I smelled your balls the second I rolled up 281 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,673 in this motherfucker. 282 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:15,550 - Stink worse than my middle school locker. 283 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:18,636 - That's my boy right there. 284 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,472 Go on and wash. 285 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,806 - The little one's mean. 286 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,183 - Yeah, you're damn right he's mean. 287 00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:24,726 That's my son. 288 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:25,810 I make 'em mean. 289 00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,562 - Mean-ass Gemstones. Damn. 290 00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,981 - I don't know what it was like in the little barn or manger 291 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,525 or whatever the fuck you were born in, but in this house, 292 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:35,945 on this compound, we respect people's private properties, 293 00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,614 you greasy little animals. 294 00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,491 - "Porn equals Satan." 295 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,242 I like that one. 296 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:45,163 These protest signs are tops. [laughs] 297 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,415 Peeps are gonna think twice, honestly. 298 00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:48,750 [rock music playing] 299 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:55,298 Yo. - Hey, bud. 300 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,592 Check it out, bro. 301 00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,594 I wiped out almost the entire inventory 302 00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:02,847 of bullets and butt buzzers and basically everything else 303 00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:05,058 at the adult emporium off the highway. 304 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,894 And I know you said that it wouldn't shut 'em down, 305 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,896 but due to supply chain issues, 306 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:13,191 they won't be able to restock for a while. 307 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,735 - Smart! Yes. 308 00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:19,030 Dang, I am missing out on all the fun lately. 309 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,824 My cousins are in town. 310 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,076 Daddy's making me hang out with them. 311 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,912 Now I've got to go to some stupid cousins' night. 312 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:29,207 - Cousins' night. Very interesting. 313 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:32,293 - No, it's not. They are total weirdos. 314 00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:34,546 A complete lack of knowing 315 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:35,922 how to fit in the world around them. 316 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:38,883 - God, they sound awkward. [chuckles] 317 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,844 Shall I make my sausage dip? 318 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,722 - Those inbreds aren't worthy of your sausage dip. 319 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:45,056 [both laugh] 320 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,850 But, yeah, no, you should make it. 321 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,226 - I'll put it in a special container 322 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,520 that'll keep it warm, and you can carry it with you 323 00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:52,230 to the family event. 324 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,898 [soft music] 325 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,775 - Why don't you carry it with? 326 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:57,610 Keefe, you have to come to cousins' night. 327 00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,404 Come on, come to cousins' night. 328 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:00,905 [grunts] 329 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,490 - I ain't a cousin, though. 330 00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:03,867 - I know you're not a cousin. 331 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:07,287 You're my...best dude friend 332 00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:10,081 of a cousin. 333 00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:13,084 - Wow, never done a cousins' night before. 334 00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:16,212 Maybe I'll bring some flames and the swords. 335 00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:18,798 - [laughs] Yeah, totes, you should. 336 00:13:18,882 --> 00:13:22,052 But let's keep our expects in checks. 337 00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:24,846 My cousins are kind of diarrhea people. 338 00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:31,686 - There is nothing that we take more seriously 339 00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:32,937 than our marriage. 340 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,856 That's why I created The System, 341 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,441 a program that you can use at home 342 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:39,319 to help your marriage better honor Jesus Christ. 343 00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,447 - Now, when I want to say something or do something 344 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:45,116 that would reflect poorly in the eyes of our Lord, 345 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,452 I take one of these gemstones 346 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:51,331 and I'll plop it into this vase container. 347 00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,208 - Now I know that Jesse is trying. 348 00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,584 He almost said something hurtful, 349 00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:57,629 but instead, he let the gemstone do the talking. 350 00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:58,880 - I love my wife. 351 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,299 - It's so simple. It works. 352 00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:03,968 Creating The System was a work of passion for me. 353 00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,804 - What the fuck are you watching in here? 354 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:06,805 Horror movies? 355 00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,807 - No, The System. 356 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,183 Amber dropped it off. 357 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,977 I guess it's something she and Jesse made and sell. 358 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,813 - [scoffs] Good luck. 359 00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,315 - Couples therapy of some sort. 360 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,234 - And trust me... - Couples therapy? 361 00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:20,777 - My wife spent a lot of time... 362 00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:22,195 - No. 363 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,531 - More time than I would have liked her to... 364 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,199 - Bitch. 365 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:27,492 - Yeah, at first, I was like, 366 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,369 "Wait, Amber, do you know something I don't? 367 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:30,829 Why do you think we need The System?" 368 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:31,705 - Exactly. 369 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:35,250 This was, like, very fucking dumb of her. 370 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:36,543 Bitch is trying to fuck with me. 371 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:37,669 - Well, how so? 372 00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:40,338 - By pulling, like, junior high mean girl shit, BJ. 373 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,215 Don't touch anything else in there, okay? 374 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,342 All this stuff's poison. It's going back. 375 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,011 - Well, I don't think we should be rude. 376 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:50,682 - BJ, our marriage is solid. Okay? 377 00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:53,018 There's--there's nothing to work on here. 378 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:56,771 So fuck The System, okay? 379 00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,940 [grunting] 380 00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,483 And fuck Amber too! 381 00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:03,361 [dramatic music] 382 00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:05,363 ♪ ♪ 383 00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:08,450 - Now, every episode starts out the same. 384 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:12,495 Old Baby Billy, he comes out like that. 385 00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,039 I make me some jokes. 386 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:16,458 Current events. Hot styles. Nothing edgy. 387 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:19,294 We're gonna keep it light so we don't limit our audience. 388 00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:22,922 And then I introduce two families. 389 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:25,216 I banter with them, I do some chit-chat, 390 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,052 maybe I kiss 'em on the cheek. 391 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,637 And then one by one, they compete, 392 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:32,599 doing trivias from the Bible. 393 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:33,892 Bible. 394 00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,435 - Sorry, buddy. [giggles] 395 00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:38,355 Hey, buddy. 396 00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:39,522 - This right here. 397 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,733 - Uncle Baby Billy, isn't this just exactly the pitch 398 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:42,859 for "Family Feuds"? 399 00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,361 - Yeah, did you run this past Daddy? 400 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,196 - Why I got to run this by Eli? 401 00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,323 Everybody knows y'all running shit, 402 00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:49,866 unless you ain't got purchase power 403 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,076 or you can't pull the trigger. - [scoffs] 404 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,202 - No, no, we got purchase power. 405 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,244 We can pull triggers, homie. 406 00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:55,246 - Then I suggest you pull the trigger 407 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,123 on this here hit TV series. 408 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,875 Go on, take it off the market. 409 00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,710 - It's exactly "Family Feuds." 410 00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,087 - It ain't no "Family Feud." 411 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,547 This is "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers." 412 00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,007 - "Bible Bonkers"? 413 00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:07,676 - "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers." 414 00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,594 - "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers." - "Baby Billy's Bible"-- 415 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,054 - Bible Bonkers. - Bible-- 416 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,764 - Bunker Baby's-- - Baby Billy Bible Bonkers. 417 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,099 - Yeah, roll that around in your mouth. 418 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,392 That's fun, ain't it? - You know what? 419 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,268 I already know how I'm gonna vote on this 420 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,603 if we just want to end this meeting early. 421 00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:21,147 Plus, I got some stuff that I got to hash out with Jesse. 422 00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:22,399 - The hell you got to hash out with me? 423 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,275 - What I got to hash out with you 424 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,611 is you tattling on me to your damn Fembot. 425 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,613 - Oh, come on. You're mad 'cause I told Amber 426 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,949 that you're having an affair with a man named Stephen? 427 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,117 - Affair? 428 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,284 - Stephen? Who the fuck is Stephen? 429 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,078 - Now you done told two more people. 430 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,788 Jesse, fuck me, man! 431 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,123 - He told three. 432 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,000 Lionel's here too now. He heard it. 433 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:42,419 Look, can we please just concentrate on my pitch? 434 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:43,628 Come on, now. 435 00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:46,840 - I think my executive vote is no on "Bible Bonkers." 436 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,091 - I don't like it. 437 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,759 - Well, that's one thing I can agree with you on, 438 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:50,719 you fucking tattletale. 439 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,304 - What, you really gonna say no to this concept? 440 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,597 - Not today, Double B. - Nah, dog, this ain't it. 441 00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:56,266 - Not on our network. This is not the kind of stuff 442 00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:58,768 we put on our network. - Mm-mm. 443 00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:00,478 - Y'all can't even see solid gold 444 00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:01,980 when I'm shitting it right in front of you. 445 00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:03,857 Y'all just piss me off. 446 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:06,151 No wonder your fucking numbers are down. 447 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:09,237 You think you can ship me off to paradise, 448 00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:12,490 make me sing by a pool all motherfucking day, 449 00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:15,117 getting a suntan, drinking piña coladas for free, 450 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,453 living in a penthouse? 451 00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:18,204 Huh? No. 452 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:20,165 I'm a international-known talent. 453 00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:22,751 I deserve more than that. 454 00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:25,712 You haven't seen the last of me. 455 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:26,628 - I mean, you're our uncle. 456 00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:28,173 I'm assuming we're gonna hear from you again. 457 00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,675 - You damn right you will. 458 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,844 [dramatic whistling music] 459 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,055 Let's go. Come on, Tiff. 460 00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:36,348 - Okay. 461 00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:39,517 I'm just gonna leave this here for y'all to study. 462 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,894 - You could take all this. - Take all that shit. 463 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,771 - We don't want it. 464 00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:44,898 - Uh, you left your kid here. 465 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,317 - Oh! I'm sorry, baby. 466 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:49,027 [giggles] 467 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,613 Bye, y'all. That was fun. 468 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,156 - Love you, Aunt Tiffany. - Love you, baby. 469 00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:55,241 Bye. - Bye. 470 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:58,787 - "Your people shall be my people. 471 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:02,707 "And your God, my God. 472 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:07,379 "And where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried. 473 00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:10,382 "And may the Lord do so to me, and more also, 474 00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:14,511 if anything but death parts me from you." 475 00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:17,555 This week, let's think of Ruth, 476 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,392 think of the commitment that we have made 477 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,727 to the people that we love. 478 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,522 Until next time, praise He. 479 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,107 all: Praise He. 480 00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:30,193 [applause] 481 00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:31,695 - Thank you. 482 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:34,572 [dramatic percussive music] 483 00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:41,579 ♪ ♪ 484 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,582 Hey, ladies. Thank you. 485 00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:47,711 Excuse me. 486 00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:50,171 - Sorry to interrupt your zombie bitches prayer group, 487 00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:52,757 but I brought something for your nosy ass. 488 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,095 - Oh, my word. 489 00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:59,139 - Yeah, my word. 490 00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:01,016 Are you fucking dumb? 491 00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:03,018 Bringing a dang marriage counseling thing 492 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,352 to my fucking house? 493 00:19:04,436 --> 00:19:07,022 I don't know what you think Jesse told you, 494 00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:09,983 but my conscience is clean, chick. 495 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,943 - This church needs a win, Judy. 496 00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:13,111 The decline is real. 497 00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:14,571 We need people to show up. 498 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,740 We need people to believe in us. 499 00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:18,616 We do not need a scandal. 500 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,077 End the affair. - Dummy, I did end it. 501 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,245 - You did? 502 00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:25,248 - Yes, told him to fuck off. 503 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,875 I love BJ, okay? 504 00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,168 I gave him some money. 505 00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:29,586 Hopefully that'll make it kosher. 506 00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:30,795 - Well, good. 507 00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:32,005 Then that's that. 508 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,715 - That is that, so you don't ever need 509 00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,008 to worry about it again. 510 00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,052 Fuck off, Amber. - Fine. 511 00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:39,929 - Fine. 512 00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:41,056 - Coming to cousins' night? 513 00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:43,433 - Duh. Daddy's making me. 514 00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:47,937 [knock at door] 515 00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,356 - Oh. 516 00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:51,274 You boys got any plans tonight? 517 00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:54,277 - Yeah, the cousins invited us out for a cousins' night. 518 00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:56,112 - A cousins' night? 519 00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:57,447 Imagine that. 520 00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:58,948 - I'm surprised they want to hang 521 00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,325 the way they've been acting. 522 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:01,868 They don't seem to care for us at all. 523 00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:04,913 - Well, they invited y'all on a cousins' night. 524 00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:06,164 Maybe they're trying. 525 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:07,499 - You know, we really appreciate 526 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,668 you letting us stay here, Uncle Eli. 527 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,253 I don't know where we'd go if it weren't for here. 528 00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:14,714 - You could go live with your mama. 529 00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:18,218 I know she ain't perfect, but she does love you boys. 530 00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:20,178 - Go live with Mama? [scoffs] 531 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,304 I don't think there's room 532 00:20:21,346 --> 00:20:23,181 in that utility closet where she sleeps. 533 00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:25,350 - Utility closet? 534 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,852 - Mama sleeps at the church. 535 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:30,855 [somber music] 536 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,607 ♪ ♪ 537 00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:38,363 - ♪ Oh, how wonderful a poor man's life could be ♪ 538 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,865 ♪ If you want to, you can live ♪ 539 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,283 - That's not hygienic. 540 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,202 There's, like, dead birds probably in there. 541 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:49,541 - ♪ Take your family to church on Sunday just like me ♪ 542 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,501 ♪ Oh, how wonderful ♪ 543 00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:53,211 - You guys! Oh, nasty! 544 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,422 Don't--hey! Don't drink that water, man. 545 00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:56,715 That pond is filthy. 546 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:59,843 - Hey, dummies, that's a trout pond. 547 00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:02,137 Nothing but stink slicks and dead trout. 548 00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:04,389 - The water's great! - Yeah! 549 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:05,682 It's nice and crisp. 550 00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:06,891 - Come on in! 551 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,393 - I feel like I'm up in the zoo right now 552 00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,186 watching the gorillas get washed. 553 00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,230 - About to start throwing their poo at each other. 554 00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:14,190 - [laughs] - Oh, holy smokes. 555 00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:16,026 What's Karl got cooking under his trunks? 556 00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:18,069 - He's got tons of hairs. 557 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,487 - Looks like he got a chinchilla 558 00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:20,989 stuffed up in there. - [yells] 559 00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:23,616 - Y'all, look, that's your family out there, okay? 560 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,035 Why don't you stop making fun of them 561 00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,411 and go converse with them? 562 00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:28,413 - I don't know what to say to them weirdos. 563 00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:30,540 Why don't you go converse with them? 564 00:21:30,582 --> 00:21:32,250 - Yeah, go hug them while they're wet. 565 00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:35,128 [laughter] 566 00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,255 - Well, well. [baby cooing] 567 00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:38,923 Looks like everybody's getting loose. 568 00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:41,301 How come you not gon' tell us about cousins' night? 569 00:21:41,384 --> 00:21:42,719 - Well, because y'all aren't invited. 570 00:21:42,761 --> 00:21:44,137 What the fuck are you doing here? 571 00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:46,473 - Lionel's your cousin, dummy. 572 00:21:46,556 --> 00:21:48,099 How you not gonna invite your first cousin 573 00:21:48,183 --> 00:21:49,392 to cousins' night, huh? 574 00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:51,853 - Cousins' night is about adult cousins, dog. 575 00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:54,731 Ain't no babies. - Hey, Lionel's your cousin, 576 00:21:54,773 --> 00:21:56,941 and you will damn well treat him like one. 577 00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:59,861 I will not have baby Lionel miss out on proper cousinship 578 00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:01,404 just 'cause he's young. 579 00:22:01,446 --> 00:22:03,198 Now, we gon' do cousins' night now. 580 00:22:03,281 --> 00:22:04,783 - Baby Lionel's eating dirt. 581 00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:07,952 - Huh? [laughs] 582 00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:10,580 Somebody's not gonna have any room left for barbecue. 583 00:22:10,622 --> 00:22:12,457 [laughs] 584 00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:16,294 [soft electronic music] 585 00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:19,255 [brash electronic music] 586 00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:25,804 ♪ ♪ 587 00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:54,874 [gentle country music] 588 00:22:54,958 --> 00:23:01,881 ♪ ♪ 589 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:27,282 - Don't you have any help for that? 590 00:23:27,365 --> 00:23:29,242 - I don't rely on others. 591 00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:30,827 I do things for myself. 592 00:23:30,869 --> 00:23:37,834 ♪ ♪ 593 00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:46,634 - Where do you live, May-May? 594 00:23:46,718 --> 00:23:49,721 - [sighs] Oh, the Lord takes care of me. 595 00:23:52,390 --> 00:23:55,393 - Do you live here? 596 00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:57,020 I can't have you live like this. 597 00:23:57,062 --> 00:23:59,481 - Oh, what, are you afraid of what the world will say 598 00:23:59,564 --> 00:24:01,858 if they found out Eli Gemstone lets his sister 599 00:24:01,900 --> 00:24:04,402 live in squalor? 600 00:24:04,444 --> 00:24:05,695 You never lifted a finger to help me. 601 00:24:05,737 --> 00:24:07,238 I ain't asking for it now. 602 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,407 - Come stay. 603 00:24:09,491 --> 00:24:11,785 You should be with your boys. 604 00:24:11,868 --> 00:24:14,579 Take a lot more than just time to heal those wounds. 605 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,334 - I'm surprised you care about that. 606 00:24:19,417 --> 00:24:22,212 - Surprised I do too. 607 00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:25,757 - You remember what we practiced? 608 00:24:25,799 --> 00:24:29,135 - Most of the parts. - Then let's go bonkers. 609 00:24:31,763 --> 00:24:34,599 - So Judy tells me your lives might be in danger. 610 00:24:34,641 --> 00:24:36,768 That's horrifying. - [laughing] BJ! 611 00:24:36,810 --> 00:24:38,812 Don't be acting like I'm spilling beans. 612 00:24:38,895 --> 00:24:40,271 - Well, I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to know 613 00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:41,773 y'all are wanted dead. 614 00:24:41,856 --> 00:24:44,693 Judy and I share everything with each other. 615 00:24:46,820 --> 00:24:48,947 - Welcome to cousins' night! 616 00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:52,283 Now, tonight, you gon' get a special treat 617 00:24:52,325 --> 00:24:54,494 for cousins' night, because tonight, 618 00:24:54,577 --> 00:24:56,871 we are gonna do a live test run 619 00:24:56,955 --> 00:24:59,791 of "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers." 620 00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:01,835 - No, we ain't. What the fuck is this? 621 00:25:01,918 --> 00:25:04,629 - No, Baby Billy, we ain't doing this Bonkers bullshit. 622 00:25:04,671 --> 00:25:06,715 - Come on, now, go with it. 623 00:25:06,798 --> 00:25:08,633 Now, you don't think this is a good idea for a show. 624 00:25:08,675 --> 00:25:10,260 Well, you 'bout to see right here, 625 00:25:10,301 --> 00:25:11,928 'cause tonight's show, you in. 626 00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:15,098 Now let's welcome the Gemstone family 627 00:25:15,140 --> 00:25:17,475 versus the Montgomerys. 628 00:25:17,517 --> 00:25:18,935 - Is this gonna be for the TV? 629 00:25:18,977 --> 00:25:20,729 - Well, if it's good, it will be, yes. 630 00:25:20,812 --> 00:25:22,772 Yeah. Let's, uh-- - It's not. 631 00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:25,650 - Here we go. Come here. Uh, you are? 632 00:25:25,734 --> 00:25:28,236 - Karl. - Karl Montgomery. 633 00:25:28,319 --> 00:25:30,155 And--and what--what do you do? 634 00:25:30,196 --> 00:25:32,615 - Lawn care. - Who-what? 635 00:25:32,657 --> 00:25:34,409 - Uh-- - Landscaping. 636 00:25:34,492 --> 00:25:35,785 - Oh, you mow grass. All right. 637 00:25:35,827 --> 00:25:37,328 - Yeah. - Good. Yeah. 638 00:25:37,412 --> 00:25:39,456 Who are you and what do you do? 639 00:25:39,497 --> 00:25:42,000 - Chuck. I just work with my brother. 640 00:25:42,083 --> 00:25:44,002 - All right. Uh-uh. 641 00:25:44,044 --> 00:25:47,964 Now we coming to the Gemstone side of the table. 642 00:25:48,006 --> 00:25:51,134 Okay, little weirdo boy with the puffy muscles, 643 00:25:51,176 --> 00:25:52,844 who are you? 644 00:25:52,927 --> 00:25:54,929 - I'm Kelvin. We're not doing this, dude. 645 00:25:55,013 --> 00:25:57,265 - Your shit sucks, Baby Billy. 646 00:25:57,349 --> 00:25:59,225 - Hey, now, don't use that kind of language, Judy. 647 00:25:59,309 --> 00:26:01,978 This a family show, now. 648 00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:03,021 You ain't family. 649 00:26:03,063 --> 00:26:04,189 So what do you do? 650 00:26:04,230 --> 00:26:07,192 - I run the motherfucking church, stud. 651 00:26:07,233 --> 00:26:09,611 - Running the church and running around. 652 00:26:09,694 --> 00:26:12,947 - Ooh! [laughter] 653 00:26:13,031 --> 00:26:14,699 - Ooh! 654 00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:16,576 Uh, who are you? 655 00:26:16,659 --> 00:26:18,203 - Look, when we're done with these introductions, 656 00:26:18,286 --> 00:26:19,704 can we just kill it, all right? 657 00:26:19,788 --> 00:26:21,373 This isn't really an appropriate time to be 658 00:26:21,414 --> 00:26:23,375 doing the damn holy moly show or whatever this is. 659 00:26:23,416 --> 00:26:25,043 - Hey, this ain't no holy moly show. 660 00:26:25,085 --> 00:26:27,045 This is "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers." 661 00:26:27,087 --> 00:26:29,422 The two first-born from each family, 662 00:26:29,506 --> 00:26:30,715 y'all come up here in the middle. 663 00:26:30,799 --> 00:26:32,550 Come on, come up here in the middle. 664 00:26:32,634 --> 00:26:33,760 Come on, Jesse, let's go. You can count. 665 00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:35,637 - Baby, just go. Shut him up. 666 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,055 - Get him, big brother. - Let's go. 667 00:26:37,097 --> 00:26:38,515 Be a good sport. 668 00:26:38,556 --> 00:26:39,808 Come on, baby. - It's so lame. 669 00:26:39,891 --> 00:26:41,351 - All right, let's go. Right up here. Come on. 670 00:26:41,393 --> 00:26:42,519 - Look, if I get the answers wrong, 671 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:43,895 it doesn't matter because this isn't 672 00:26:43,978 --> 00:26:45,313 fucking real to begin with, okay? 673 00:26:45,397 --> 00:26:47,732 - Just get up there and beat his fucking ass, Jesse. 674 00:26:47,774 --> 00:26:48,692 - Let's go, Jesse. 675 00:26:48,733 --> 00:26:50,568 You got this. 676 00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:52,445 - Hit it, Tiff. 677 00:26:52,529 --> 00:26:55,365 [keyboard playing upbeat melody] 678 00:26:55,407 --> 00:27:02,372 ♪ ♪ 679 00:27:14,050 --> 00:27:15,927 Great job, Tiff. All right. First question. Here we go now. 680 00:27:16,011 --> 00:27:17,470 - How do we buzz in? - Hey. 681 00:27:17,554 --> 00:27:18,972 - Yeah, these buzzers aren't even real. 682 00:27:19,055 --> 00:27:20,724 I mean, this is stupid. What the hell are we doing? 683 00:27:20,765 --> 00:27:22,392 - Don't be saying, "What are we doing?" 684 00:27:22,434 --> 00:27:24,811 Just buzz in with your fucking mouth. 685 00:27:24,894 --> 00:27:27,313 I'm sorry, there will be no cursing on this program. 686 00:27:27,397 --> 00:27:28,857 First question, now. 687 00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:33,236 Who got Joseph thrown into prison by lying about him? 688 00:27:33,278 --> 00:27:35,405 [both imitate buzzer] both: Potiphar's wife! 689 00:27:35,447 --> 00:27:36,948 - Potiphar's wife is correct. 690 00:27:36,990 --> 00:27:39,325 Damn, we got to do a tiebreaker. 691 00:27:39,409 --> 00:27:40,827 Second question. 692 00:27:40,910 --> 00:27:44,664 Who else was in prison with Joseph? 693 00:27:44,748 --> 00:27:46,249 - [imitates buzzer] 694 00:27:46,291 --> 00:27:49,336 The Pharaoh's cupbearer and his...butler. 695 00:27:49,419 --> 00:27:50,920 - Wrong! - Mm-mm. 696 00:27:50,962 --> 00:27:52,672 - Montgomery's chance to steal. 697 00:27:52,756 --> 00:27:54,674 - Fuck. That was an easy one, Jesse. 698 00:27:54,758 --> 00:27:55,800 - Damn it. 699 00:27:55,842 --> 00:27:58,470 - Pharaoh's cupbearer and chief baker. 700 00:27:58,553 --> 00:27:59,971 - Correct. 701 00:28:00,055 --> 00:28:01,514 Montgomerys have the lead. - Whoo! 702 00:28:01,598 --> 00:28:02,807 - No, they don't have the lead. 703 00:28:02,849 --> 00:28:04,267 - Don't cheat, Jesse. 704 00:28:04,309 --> 00:28:06,436 I know that must be tough for you Gemstones. 705 00:28:06,478 --> 00:28:08,146 - I'm not! You know what? 706 00:28:08,188 --> 00:28:09,606 The Montgomerys don't have the lead. 707 00:28:09,647 --> 00:28:11,232 I'm not playing this game anymore. 708 00:28:11,316 --> 00:28:13,485 I don't like fucking Bible Bunkers Babies! 709 00:28:13,526 --> 00:28:14,736 I'm not doing this! 710 00:28:14,819 --> 00:28:16,988 Game over. Shut it down. 711 00:28:17,030 --> 00:28:20,033 - You still the same old spoiled, sore sport 712 00:28:20,116 --> 00:28:21,785 you were when we were kids. 713 00:28:21,826 --> 00:28:23,453 - Hey, can you do me a favor, Chuck? 714 00:28:23,495 --> 00:28:24,829 Why don't you go fuck yourself, okay, 715 00:28:24,871 --> 00:28:27,332 and then go find a family that actually cares about you, 716 00:28:27,374 --> 00:28:28,667 you fucking Montgomery. 717 00:28:28,708 --> 00:28:29,751 - [scoffs] 718 00:28:29,793 --> 00:28:33,129 - Well, I'd rather be a Montgomery than a Gemstone. 719 00:28:33,171 --> 00:28:34,839 I thought it was just your mommy and daddy 720 00:28:34,881 --> 00:28:36,883 that didn't care about others, but the nuts don't fall 721 00:28:36,966 --> 00:28:38,385 too far from the tree. 722 00:28:38,468 --> 00:28:41,471 - Hey, yo, you'd better watch what you say about our mama. 723 00:28:41,513 --> 00:28:43,223 - Take a seat, Judy Gemstone. 724 00:28:43,306 --> 00:28:45,183 The menfolk are talking, and those kind of chime-ins 725 00:28:45,266 --> 00:28:46,518 are not appropriate. 726 00:28:46,601 --> 00:28:48,645 - Judy, keep your earrings on, girl. 727 00:28:48,687 --> 00:28:50,397 - Why is she taking them earrings off? 728 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:51,856 - 'Cause we finna fight, boy. 729 00:28:51,940 --> 00:28:53,566 - Please, Judy, no, don't fight. 730 00:28:53,650 --> 00:28:55,360 - No, there ain't gonna be no fight. 731 00:28:55,402 --> 00:28:57,237 There's just gonna be a 187. 732 00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:00,490 I'll cut you from fucking stem to sternum, you bitch. 733 00:29:00,532 --> 00:29:01,783 - Oh. - Come on, I'll kill you. 734 00:29:01,866 --> 00:29:03,743 - Stick him, Jesse. - I got a knife too. 735 00:29:03,827 --> 00:29:06,329 - Oh, my Lord. - Y'all play too much now. 736 00:29:06,371 --> 00:29:08,039 [dramatic music] 737 00:29:08,123 --> 00:29:10,041 - Jesse Gemstone, you put that knife away. 738 00:29:10,125 --> 00:29:11,960 - I'll put my knife away when he puts his knife away. 739 00:29:12,043 --> 00:29:13,336 - Well, I ain't putting my knife away 740 00:29:13,420 --> 00:29:14,671 unless he puts his knife away. 741 00:29:14,713 --> 00:29:15,630 - Well, then I guess we're keeping 742 00:29:15,714 --> 00:29:18,675 the fucking knives out! 743 00:29:18,717 --> 00:29:19,926 - You just gonna circle each other, 744 00:29:20,010 --> 00:29:21,553 or someone's gonna do a stabbing? 745 00:29:21,636 --> 00:29:22,887 - Get your--bitch. 746 00:29:22,929 --> 00:29:24,139 You big bitch. 747 00:29:24,222 --> 00:29:27,142 - Oh, my God. Guys, he's choking. 748 00:29:27,183 --> 00:29:28,560 No, not him. Him! 749 00:29:28,643 --> 00:29:30,437 - [choking] 750 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:31,896 - Karl? - Oh. 751 00:29:31,980 --> 00:29:33,732 - Karl? - Spit it out. 752 00:29:33,773 --> 00:29:35,400 Come on, Karl. Come on. 753 00:29:35,483 --> 00:29:36,609 Spit it out, Karl! 754 00:29:36,693 --> 00:29:37,736 Spit it out! - Hit him! 755 00:29:37,777 --> 00:29:38,778 - Hit him harder! 756 00:29:38,862 --> 00:29:40,280 - Karl, come on, Karl! 757 00:29:40,363 --> 00:29:42,741 - Heimlich his ass! - Lick his what? 758 00:29:42,782 --> 00:29:44,409 - Hurry up! He can't breathe! 759 00:29:44,451 --> 00:29:46,036 - Guys, he don't look so good. - Oh, my God. 760 00:29:46,077 --> 00:29:47,370 - I can't get my arms around him. 761 00:29:47,412 --> 00:29:48,246 He's too big. 762 00:29:48,288 --> 00:29:49,706 - Jesse, bend him over the table! 763 00:29:49,748 --> 00:29:51,291 [all shouting at once] - Oh! 764 00:29:51,374 --> 00:29:53,835 - Karl, don't die! - Get him! Ram him! 765 00:29:53,918 --> 00:29:56,212 - Ah! - Yes! 766 00:29:56,254 --> 00:29:58,506 - [grunting] - Come on, he's gonna die! 767 00:29:58,590 --> 00:29:59,924 - He can't breathe! 768 00:29:59,966 --> 00:30:01,134 - We got to do it at the same time! 769 00:30:01,217 --> 00:30:02,719 - Okay! - On--on--on three! 770 00:30:02,761 --> 00:30:05,263 Three, two, one! 771 00:30:05,347 --> 00:30:06,765 - [gasps] 772 00:30:06,806 --> 00:30:08,266 [coughing] 773 00:30:08,308 --> 00:30:09,434 - Karl? - BJ. 774 00:30:09,476 --> 00:30:11,561 - [coughing] - Karl? 775 00:30:11,603 --> 00:30:13,813 Oh! 776 00:30:13,897 --> 00:30:16,816 - Are you okay? - Uh... 777 00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:18,860 - Chuck, I was so scared. 778 00:30:18,943 --> 00:30:20,528 I couldn't breathe. 779 00:30:20,570 --> 00:30:22,197 - That's why we're always saying, 780 00:30:22,238 --> 00:30:23,406 "Chew your food." 781 00:30:23,448 --> 00:30:25,533 - I'm sorry, Chucky. - It's okay, buddy. 782 00:30:25,575 --> 00:30:27,285 - I'm sorry. I won't do it again. 783 00:30:27,327 --> 00:30:28,620 - You're okay now. 784 00:30:28,661 --> 00:30:31,623 [both sobbing] 785 00:30:31,664 --> 00:30:34,626 [soft music] 786 00:30:34,668 --> 00:30:41,633 ♪ ♪ 787 00:30:48,139 --> 00:30:48,973 - Hey! 788 00:30:49,015 --> 00:30:51,476 - Cousins. - Hey. 789 00:30:51,559 --> 00:30:53,061 - Hey. 790 00:30:53,144 --> 00:30:56,231 It was nice hanging out with y'all tonight, cousins. 791 00:30:56,314 --> 00:30:59,359 - And--and no one thinks less of you because you choked, 792 00:30:59,442 --> 00:31:00,652 Big Karl. 793 00:31:00,735 --> 00:31:02,153 - Thanks, guys. - Where y'all going? 794 00:31:02,237 --> 00:31:03,738 Just walking back to our daddy's? 795 00:31:03,822 --> 00:31:05,824 - We ain't got nowhere else to go. 796 00:31:05,865 --> 00:31:08,243 - Well, let me give you a ride. 797 00:31:10,620 --> 00:31:12,330 - Okay. 798 00:31:12,414 --> 00:31:14,416 Cool. 799 00:31:14,499 --> 00:31:17,002 [upbeat country music] 800 00:31:17,043 --> 00:31:20,213 - I think it's a great idea even if nobody else does. 801 00:31:20,296 --> 00:31:24,050 - Oh, I appreciate the support, baby. 802 00:31:24,134 --> 00:31:26,094 But they gon' buy "Bible Bonkers" now. 803 00:31:26,177 --> 00:31:29,180 There will come a payday. 804 00:31:29,222 --> 00:31:31,850 Lionel's asleep in the back. 805 00:31:31,933 --> 00:31:34,352 You think maybe I can get some ass? 806 00:31:34,394 --> 00:31:35,937 - [laughs] 807 00:31:36,021 --> 00:31:38,189 - There's a road right up here. 808 00:31:38,231 --> 00:31:41,276 - Can we get some waffles after we get some ass? 809 00:31:41,359 --> 00:31:43,445 - You bet we can. - [laughs] 810 00:31:43,486 --> 00:31:45,196 - ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ 811 00:31:45,238 --> 00:31:46,614 ♪ Heaven's glory shared ♪ 812 00:31:46,698 --> 00:31:49,117 - I smelled the meat that came out of your cousin. 813 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:50,994 It wasn't the sausage dip that choked him. 814 00:31:51,036 --> 00:31:53,455 It--it was poultry. 815 00:31:53,538 --> 00:31:55,081 - Gross, Keefe. 816 00:31:55,165 --> 00:31:58,918 And no, I didn't think it was your sausage dip. 817 00:31:59,002 --> 00:32:02,005 That stuff's too good. - [laughs] 818 00:32:02,047 --> 00:32:05,216 - And your fire dance was lit. 819 00:32:05,258 --> 00:32:07,635 Easily the best part of 'tis eve. 820 00:32:10,055 --> 00:32:12,557 You never disappoint. 821 00:32:12,599 --> 00:32:14,225 - Good eye tonight, Beej. 822 00:32:14,309 --> 00:32:17,645 Helped save cousin Karl's life, you dang hero. 823 00:32:17,729 --> 00:32:19,064 - I'm not a hero. 824 00:32:19,105 --> 00:32:20,732 I'm an optometrist. 825 00:32:20,774 --> 00:32:22,317 We see everything. 826 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:24,819 - [laughs] Okay. 827 00:32:24,903 --> 00:32:26,905 Come here. - Oh. 828 00:32:26,988 --> 00:32:27,989 ♪ Getting a hug ♪ 829 00:32:28,073 --> 00:32:30,241 both: ♪ From my beautiful wife ♪ 830 00:32:30,325 --> 00:32:35,580 ♪ We're gonna be having hot sex tonight ♪ 831 00:32:35,622 --> 00:32:38,208 - Oh, this feels so good. 832 00:32:38,249 --> 00:32:44,422 ♪ ♪ 833 00:32:44,464 --> 00:32:46,049 - ♪ Listen to the songs of the fathers ♪ 834 00:32:46,091 --> 00:32:47,592 ♪ And the mothers and the many friends ♪ 835 00:32:47,634 --> 00:32:50,053 ♪ Gone on before, turn the radio on ♪ 836 00:32:50,095 --> 00:32:52,097 - ♪ Turn the radio on ♪ - ♪ Turn the radio on ♪ 837 00:32:52,138 --> 00:32:53,390 ♪ Turn the radio on ♪ 838 00:32:53,431 --> 00:32:55,558 ♪ Some eternal morning, we shall meet them ♪ 839 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:57,936 ♪ Over on the hallelujah shore ♪ 840 00:32:58,019 --> 00:32:59,354 - Yeah, get that spot over there. 841 00:32:59,437 --> 00:33:01,064 - Yes, ma'am - ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ 842 00:33:01,106 --> 00:33:04,317 - ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ - ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ 843 00:33:04,401 --> 00:33:06,444 ♪ And listen to the music in the air ♪ 844 00:33:06,528 --> 00:33:08,613 ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ - ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ 845 00:33:08,697 --> 00:33:11,616 [both howling] 846 00:33:15,578 --> 00:33:19,207 [all howling] 847 00:33:19,290 --> 00:33:21,960 - ♪ Turn your radio ♪ 848 00:33:22,043 --> 00:33:25,547 ♪ On ♪ 849 00:33:25,630 --> 00:33:29,843 ♪ ♪ 850 00:33:29,926 --> 00:33:32,804 [soft lullaby music] 851 00:33:32,887 --> 00:33:40,020 ♪ ♪ 852 00:34:56,929 --> 00:34:59,182 [bright tone]