1
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:10,200
# You needn't travel far

2
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,920
# Don't need an old guitar

3
00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:17,240
# Following your fancy
as you can... #

4
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:19,600
COUGHING

5
00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:23,520
Well, can you stop that?

6
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:24,960
Well, I've got a cold, Bob.

7
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,920
I haven't just got A cold.

8
00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:30,320
I mean, I have got THE cold.
Do you know what I mean?

9
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,160
And are you going to go
on about it all day? Yeah?

10
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:35,640
I'm going to be milking it
endlessly, yeah.

11
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,400
Hold up a minute,
what are you doing?

12
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:38,920
Bob, what are you doing?
You've got....

13
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:40,560
Well, I've got to park, haven't I?

14
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,200
Well, you've just parked in a field!

15
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,160
That cold's...that cold's
making you insane!

16
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:49,520
You're the insane one, parking
an executive vehicle in a field!

17
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,040
I park where I want.

18
00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:53,880
Come on. Let's fish, Paul!

19
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:05,640
WATER GURGLES

20
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,320
Come on, Bobby.

21
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,600
Oh, Ted's keen.
He's gambolling, isn't he, really?

22
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,560
Nice river!  Beautiful river.
Look at it.

23
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,400
This is the River Frome.
You'd call it the "Froam".

24
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,360
And I'll continue
to call it the "Froam".

25
00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,640
I know you're going to...
You are going to do that

26
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,040
the whole time, aren't you?

27
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,720
It looks like a chalk stream, Paul.

28
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,680
Well, Sherlock,
that's because it is.

29
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,560
Have you ever called anyone
Sherlock like that?

30
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,280
No, but you just have.
Yeah, I know.

31
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,160
And you'll have to live with it.
You'll have to live with that!

32
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,120
There's some very big
grayling in this river.

33
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:45,720
Yeah. Trout as well, I imagine?

34
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,240
Some big trout in here as well,
yeah.  Absolutely beautiful.

35
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,600
I love the flatness of it
and its gentle flow.

36
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,760
Yeah.  That's how I like
to view my life now.

37
00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:54,880
Just gently flowing.
Gently flowing.

38
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,880
Yeah. Not rushing whither and
hither. Hey, so, Paul...  Yeah?

39
00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,320
You're incredibly equipped.
Is this because of your cold?

40
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,320
This little rag here?

41
00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:05,640
Is that to wipe your...?  I wasn't
going to mention my cold any more.

42
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,960
You're overequipped, Paul.
Look at me. Svelte.

43
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,920
Oh, nothing there, is there?  Yeah.

44
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:13,760
Twixt ear and ear!

45
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,360
Come on, we're going to go in
and have a few casts, all right?

46
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,760
Like a wildebeest careering in!

47
00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:28,400
Are you safe behind me there, Bob?

48
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:29,600
Yeah.

49
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,520
It's a lovely bend in the river
just up there.

50
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,840
Yeah.  Isn't it beautiful?

51
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,880
Oh, yeah. It is gorgeous.

52
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,640
Why is it so evocative, Paul?

53
00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:46,200
Is it because you don't know
what's around the corner?

54
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,200
Yes, I'm sure it's that, isn't it?

55
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:52,720
But there's also something
about the movement of it as well.

56
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:54,880
Imagine if a monster
came round there.

57
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:56,560
You see, you just don't know,
do you?

58
00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,200
Well, you know,
I wouldn't want that, really.

59
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,040
Or a baby, but it's rowing.

60
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,680
PAUL LAUGHS
Ah, a rowing baby!

61
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,040
Hey, Teddy!

62
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,560
Oh, he's rolling around in dirt.

63
00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,400
Oh, look at him.

64
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:27,680
Ted, you dirty, dirty dog!

65
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,040
"Oh, shut it!"

66
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:40,040
I'm not really enjoying
my casting here.

67
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,880
Should we...?
Try another, better spot?  Yeah.

68
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,560
I know we're grayling fishing, Paul,

69
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,320
but a big wild brown trout,
a big one,

70
00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,520
that would be something,
wouldn't it?

71
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:04,160
I mean, I thought
I did see a grayling earlier, Bob.

72
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,600
But it might have been
my mind playing tricks with me.

73
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,040
Yeah.

74
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,920
I haven't really had anything
here that I...

75
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:19,120
No.  I bought a new dishwasher
last week, Paul.

76
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,120
PAUL LAUGHS
Did you?

77
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,160
You're not interested?
Not really, no.

78
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,040
What if I was to tell you this?

79
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:30,040
Ten seconds after the cycle's
finished...  Yeah.

80
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,240
..it flicks
the door open automatically.

81
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:36,080
Beginning to get interested?

82
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,920
I mean, it's never been that much
of a struggle for me to open

83
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,840
the dishwasher door, Bob, but...
THEY CHUCKLE

84
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:47,280
Now, that is a good cast.

85
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:48,480
Come on!

86
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,760
Well...

87
00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:56,840
..there's not much doing here,
is there?

88
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,120
Cup of tea...  Yeah.  ..is on its way.

89
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,240
Is it a medicinal tea?

90
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,160
Well, it's always a bit medicinal,
a cuppa, isn't it?

91
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,640
It is, isn't it? Yeah.
Puts a skip in me...

92
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,680
What is it, a skip in your...?
Skip in your step.

93
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,920
Skip in your step.
I'd like to see you skip.

94
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,800
I can forward roll.

95
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,960
Can you?  I can, well...
Is it worth it, though, Bob?

96
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,400
There you go.  Is there sugar?
Yeah.

97
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,720
Oh, give us a chance!
Do you know what, Paul?

98
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,960
You are suffering
from irritable male syndrome,

99
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:36,080
which is a real thing.
Oh, what, grumpy old men?

100
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,880
Well, I suppose, yeah.
Well, you're becoming one.

101
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,840
I tell you, I am. It's very
difficult, isn't it, not to be...

102
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,240
Good shot.

103
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:46,520
..uh, Meldrew. Isn't it?

104
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:50,000
I saw it in a newspaper.

105
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,760
READING:  What are the symptoms
of irritable male syndrome?

106
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:54,720
Problems holding a conversation,

107
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,160
often stopping in the middle
of a sentence,

108
00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,200
forgetting what they were saying.

109
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:02,560
Sudden personality changes
such as becoming angry,

110
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,120
irritable, and defensive.

111
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,560
Will you shut up! I can't think!

112
00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:08,600
Paul, this is you.

113
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,160
Honestly, this is you.

114
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,640
Your face even looks a bit grumpy.

115
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,440
Why are you giving me another
cup of tea?

116
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,720
I'm showing you my tea.  Oh, wow!

117
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,720
THEY LAUGH

118
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,080
Oh, yours looks much
better than mine!  Yeah.

119
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,080
A backward roll
or a forward roll?

120
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,440
Which one do you want me to do?

121
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,520
Do not attempt a backward roll, Bob.

122
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:32,080
Because?  I don't really...
Well, cos you'll break your back.

123
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,800
If I try a backwards one,
will you try a forward one?

124
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:39,200
Mm. I think both things
are really bad choices.

125
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,400
You introduced them!  I did not!

126
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:45,240
Didn't you?  You said, "I can do
a forward roll," like that.

127
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:48,840
Go on.

128
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,800
HE INHALES

129
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,320
HE GROANS

130
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,400
Nearly!

131
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,120
Don't do it, Bob!

132
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,640
No.

133
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:03,160
It got a bit diagonal, didn't it?
Yeah, it went sideways, mate.

134
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,320
Don't do a backward roll, though.
You'll break the fishing rod.

135
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:08,520
No, I'm doing a forward roll.
Oh, right. OK, go on, then.

136
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:12,520
Right, watch.
Your legs nice and wide apart, yeah?

137
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:14,240
Forehead onto the ground.

138
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,840
Yep.

139
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:19,200
Don't do it, Bob.

140
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,200
Oh! Hey!

141
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,480
Voila!  That was quite majestic.

142
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,920
I'm quite pleased about that.
That was good. That was very good.

143
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,920
Probably be the last one
I've ever done.  Yeah.

144
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,960
Right, shall we go fishing?  Yeah.

145
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,160
THEY LAUGH

146
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,800
What would you mark
that forward roll at?

147
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,320
I thought it was an excellent...
Give it an eight, you know.

148
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:43,600
Well, well. Thank you.

149
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,800
Because you emerged quite
gracefully from it. I was surprised.

150
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,920
I love these birds.
They're incredible.

151
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,680
These swallows and swifts.

152
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,760
Look at them. Look! All round us.

153
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,440
That's it, see?

154
00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,440
Do you think it's a bit low?

155
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:20,880
Oh! He's in.

156
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,760
I'm in.  You are. Nice, Bob.

157
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,720
Well done. Right, easy now.

158
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,640
Don't wind when
you don't need to, all right?

159
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,760
Yeah.
What do you think it is?

160
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,320
A little...  Oh, is it a little?

161
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:35,800
I don't think it's that little, Bob.

162
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,480
THEY LAUGH

163
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:38,920
It's a trout, I think.

164
00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:42,520
Yeah.  It's a nice-sized big trout.
It's a good trout, yeah.

165
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,040
No! Argh!

166
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,600
Yes!  Yes!

167
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,680
Wahey! Wow!

168
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:50,600
That's a beauty, Bob, look.
Look at his pink flanks.

169
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,560
And that blue sheen, look.

170
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,840
Look at him, Paul.
He's a beauty.

171
00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:58,960
I love this little steel blue bit.
Yeah, the steel blue.

172
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,600
Wow!

173
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,000
Let's let him go.  Let him go.
Come on, then.

174
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,680
BOTH:  And away!

175
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,320
Well, that was a bit exciting,
wasn't it?

176
00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:11,080
Well, that's our first one.
Oh, well done, Bobby!

177
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:14,160
Yeah, I know. I'm pleased with that.
Not a grayling, but well done.

178
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,360
I thought it was a grayling,
just for a few...

179
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,600
Yeah.  ..few pulls.
Very hard-fighting fish.

180
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,200
Yeah, wasn't it?  Yeah.

181
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,080
Right, you're doing very well,
Bobby.

182
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:26,240
You stay there, and I'll have
a few casts from the bank.

183
00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:40,320
Whoa!

184
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,280
Aerial battle to the death!

185
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,240
Yep. Arghhhh!

186
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:56,880
Oh!

187
00:09:56,880 --> 00:10:00,600
Good fish.  Oh, man.  Awww!

188
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,480
Oh, I think he could have been
a grayling as well, you know.

189
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:04,880
Don't tell me that, Paul.

190
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:08,800
Honestly. It's hard to say,
but I just...

191
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,720
I don't know.

192
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,320
Got a swan coming. Big lad.

193
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:17,880
Oh, yeah.  Aggressive as well.

194
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:20,960
Yeah, he's looking a bit lairy,
isn't he?  Got his hackles up.

195
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:25,200
Or she. Probably a he,
the way he's coming at us.

196
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,680
PAUL CHUCKLES

197
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,120
Well, I'm annoyed
with myself, Robert.

198
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,560
Come and join me, Paul,
and I'll talk you down.

199
00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:38,800
Oh, that would be nice.
You give me some counselling?

200
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:40,720
Yeah.

201
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,360
That sawn bottled out
pretty quickly, didn't it?

202
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,080
Yeah.

203
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:46,400
He saw Mortimer.

204
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:53,200
Come and tell me about the fish.
Come on.

205
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,320
Well, I'll just feel a bit stupid,
really, Bob.  What happened?

206
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:59,080
Talk me through it.
What actually happened?

207
00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:02,160
Ineptitude on my part, perhaps, Bob.

208
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,880
You know like you never think
anything is your fault, do you?

209
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,280
Well, I'd like you to give me
an example of something

210
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,600
that's been my fault.
Uh... Ahem!

211
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,880
Now I'm thinking about it,
you might be right!

212
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,160
What, are you giving it to me?
Yeah, have a go.  OK.

213
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:17,920
I'd like you to get one.
Ah. Oh, Bob, I'm an idiot.

214
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,240
I mean, I'm always saying it,

215
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,360
but you know that thing
sort of saying...

216
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:32,120
it's not a particular day,
there's nothing particular going on.

217
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,520
Yeah?  A bit of friendship,
some beautiful sunshine and that.

218
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,040
It's just an ordinary day.

219
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,520
But you have to say to yourself,
these are the great days.

220
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:40,800
PAUL CHUCKLES

221
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,520
Well, it's funny you should
say that. I had a conversation

222
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:47,000
with one of my girls recently,
and we just decided, actually,

223
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,760
what you have to do is celebrate
little moments like...

224
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,400
Oh, look. Look at that mayfly
going off.

225
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,600
And we're watching
it flutter off to procreate,

226
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,040
unless a swift gets it.  Yes.
And that's...

227
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,000
So that's a little moment, isn't it?
Yeah.

228
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,400
There's a little leaf dropping.
Yeah.  Yeah.

229
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:07,320
I tell you what
we can celebrate, Bob.  Yeah?

230
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:10,880
Not that cast!  No, leave it. Ooh!
Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry.

231
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,920
You liked it where it landed? No.

232
00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:16,040
How about the sound of this water?
The sound is beautiful, isn't it?

233
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:19,480
Isn't it? Nature's soundtrack.
Yeah.

234
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:23,240
Remix that as many times as you
want, you'll never get it better.

235
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,280
Calvin Harris!  Yeah!

236
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:45,320
Cor, you'd would have expected
a take by now, wouldn't you, Bob?

237
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,320
You really would have.  Yeah.

238
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,240
We've got to go to
the accommodation.

239
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:51,480
OK, mate. Um, is it a nice one?

240
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:52,880
Oh, it's a cracker.

241
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,040
Is it really?

242
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,160
I'm going to put my head
on the block and say

243
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:59,280
I think it might be the best
accommodation we've ever stayed in.

244
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,160
Really?  Yeah, really.

245
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,600
I ain't kidding you, Paul.
I'm not having you on.

246
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:12,960
Bob, I'm sorry I let you down
with a big grayling again.

247
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,680
I mean, you nearly got one, Paul,
you reckon? Yeah?

248
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:18,560
Yeah. Oh, I'm absolutely sure
it was a grayling.

249
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:20,600
It twisted like grayling do.

250
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:24,160
Now, Paul, you're getting
very near to the accommodation.  Oh.

251
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:27,640
And I really like this one, Paul.

252
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:31,480
What is this you've brought me to?!
Hee-hee-hee!  Your Excellency!

253
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:34,000
Yeah. That's how it makes you feel,
isn't it?  Yeah.

254
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:38,000
And even better, it's got
direct access to Chesil Beach.

255
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,640
This is incredible, Bob!
What a place!

256
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,280
It's a yellow house!

257
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:50,840
I've always wanted to stay
in a yellow house!

258
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,680
THEY LAUGH

259
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:54,760
It's this way, Paul.  Eh?

260
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,200
We're in Short House,
not yellow house. Come on.

261
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,760
You can't tempt me
with a yellow house!

262
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:02,520
Yeah, well, I made the booking,
so it's Short House!

263
00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:06,840
Ooh! Oh, yeah. Nice, Bob.

264
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,360
Choose a bedroom!
Choose a bedroom!

265
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:14,320
This is a nice one.
"En-su-ite" as well, look!

266
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,600
Yeah.  Lovely.
Are you going to take this one?

267
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,480
Yeah, I'll have this one.
Is that all right?  OK.

268
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,440
Ah!

269
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,080
Yeah, you've got the best one.
Have I?  Yeah.

270
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,440
It's not en-suite, the other one.
Oh, no. Do you want to swap?

271
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:26,800
Well, you could swap. You could...

272
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,560
No.  No.

273
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:31,440
PAUL CHUCKLES

274
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,600
Well done, me. Well done, me!

275
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,040
Your beer, sire!

276
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,760
Thank you, Paul.

277
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,320
What do you want to do tonight?
Uh...

278
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,600
Ted wants to watch Kung Fu Hustle.

279
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,400
What, again, Ted?!

280
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,600
How many times have
you watched that?

281
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,320
"Oh, I love it. Every time,
I see something different."

282
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,800
I don't want to watch
Kung Fu Hustle again, Bob.

283
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,800
All right. Sorry, Ted.

284
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,320
Would you like to play
the What Fruit game?

285
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,360
Oh, yeah. Go on, then.
What is it?

286
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,880
Um....  Well, I've got
some fruits here, yeah?

287
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,200
But are you willing
to be blindfolded?

288
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,080
All right. Yeah, yeah.

289
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,440
Do you want to
put that on, then, Paul?

290
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,480
I don't really, but I will.

291
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,920
I hope you look amusing.

292
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,440
BOB LAUGHS

293
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,480
That is ideal for Guess The Fruit!

294
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,800
I'm ready to play.
Yeah. Get it in your hand.

295
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:40,280
What is it? Not by feel!
Put it... Eat it.

296
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:43,080
What do you mean, "not by feel,
you should put it in your hand?"

297
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,040
BOB LAUGHS

298
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,080
Well, it's an apple, obviously.
Yeah, well, tell me...

299
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,640
Red.  Go red?
HE LAUGHS

300
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,360
Was it?

301
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,440
Yes!

302
00:15:58,440 --> 00:15:59,960
Next one.

303
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:03,320
HE LAUGHS

304
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,640
Really?

305
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:13,040
BOB LAUGHS UPROARIOUSLY

306
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,000
Green apple?

307
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,200
Green apple!  Is it?
There you go, yeah.

308
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,400
Blimey, I'm good at this, aren't I?
Next one, Paul.

309
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,360
Fruit me! Come on.
Yeah, all right.

310
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,200
I'm just having a bit of trouble
getting it out of the bag.

311
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,080
Yeah, in your mouth.
It's a pear, is it?

312
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:40,520
Maybe.

313
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,200
Oh!

314
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,360
That's an onion!

315
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,640
You vegetabled me!

316
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:51,080
Yeah, well done, Paul.
You win, you win Guess The Fruit!

317
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,800
I don't think I do, though, do I?

318
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,120
What a treat for you, Bobby!

319
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,440
There you are, Bob.
A nice cup of tea.  Thank you, boss.

320
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:21,040
Have you sugared it?
Yeah, I've put 11 sugars in.

321
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:24,440
No, you didn't.
You wouldn't do that to me.

322
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:25,720
I've put a few in!

323
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,640
See the bunny rabbits there?

324
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,800
Oh, little wabbits!  Yeah.

325
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:30,840
Oh, you scared them off,

326
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,800
your bloody face first thing
in the morning!

327
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,400
Did you sleep well?
Yeah, not bad, Bob. You?

328
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,440
Yeah, good.
It's going to be a good day.

329
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,520
Spot on. It is, isn't it?
Maybe we get that grayling.

330
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,800
The elusive big grayling, eh, Bob?
Yeah.

331
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,440
Come on, let's go back
to that beautiful chalk stream.

332
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,400
Yeah, but isn't this
a nice cup of tea?

333
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,280
It's a cracker, yeah.  A really
good one, isn't it?  I know.

334
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:52,400
I'm going to have a fried egg
with it, I think, actually.

335
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,320
I haven't eaten.  What, in the tea?

336
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,360
Yeah!
BOB LAUGHS

337
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:03,920
So the menu today has got to run
something like, "Go to Frome."

338
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:07,040
Yes.  "Catch big grayling. Return."
Yes.

339
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:08,640
And let's have a fish in the sea.

340
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:10,760
That'd be nice, wouldn't it?

341
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:26,040
Hey, I'm in
a little lost world, Bob!

342
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,880
Amazing, isn't it?  Yeah.

343
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,560
Can you see any fish?

344
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,160
No.  Oh.

345
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,640
Come on.
Oh, I just scared a fish off!

346
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,120
Oh!  Damn!

347
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,280
It's just up there. Right. Come on.

348
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,720
How do you feel, deep down?
When I'm not with you...  Yeah.

349
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,760
..and you're gossiping
about the fishing,

350
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,000
my lack of ability frustrates you.

351
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,160
I know, I always big you up, Bob.

352
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:55,760
I always say you've got quite a...

353
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,280
Well, I always say
you've got very clever,

354
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,480
much cleverer than you let on.

355
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:01,840
Right?

356
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,440
And that you've got
a good fishing instinct.

357
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,320
That sounds like something
you say to a child!

358
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,960
"No, you've got a really...
You've got really good instincts."

359
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,080
Oh, bloody hell.
"You can't fish...."

360
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,040
You can't win with you, can you?

361
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,120
Huh?  Can't win, can you, with you!

362
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:20,000
THEY CHUCKLE

363
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,880
GRASSES RUSTLE

364
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:27,240
This is tricky, tricky fishing.

365
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,520
There's one there, Paul,
where you are.  Hmm?

366
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:36,040
Did you see that little cut
where the bank goes in?

367
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:37,480
That's it.

368
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,280
Come on!

369
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,720
Didn't want it, yeah?

370
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,920
Thought we'd have got one there,
didn't you, Bob?  Yeah.

371
00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:00,480
You reckon this bit's done, Paul,
yeah?  I think so, Bob.

372
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,960
Slightly disappointed because
it's a lovely little run, isn't it?

373
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,200
Yeah, it's beautiful.
Should we knock it on the head?

374
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:09,000
Yeah. We'll have a nice drink.
Cold drink.

375
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,240
All right, mate. Lovely. Thank you.

376
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,680
Ready? One, two, three, hup!

377
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,840
Yeah, you're up.  Yeah.  Nice one.

378
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,160
That wasn't the action
of a pensioner, was it?

379
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,960
That was nice watching that, Paul.
Well done.

380
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,560
You still haven't
used your little hanky.

381
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,120
What is that for?

382
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,800
It's for wiping away my tears...
Oh, your tears?

383
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,640
..when I don't catch a fish. Yeah.

384
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,800
Never mind, Paul.
I've got iced lemon tea.

385
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,000
Cheers.  Cheer me up.

386
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,680
Ooh, it's nice, actually.

387
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,600
It is nice, isn't it?  Mm.

388
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,280
Some people have a bit of apple
with it.

389
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,720
Would you like a bit of apple?

390
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,840
Can you break that in half like
you did on Would I Lie To You?

391
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,480
Yeah.  Go on, then.

392
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,200
You must have very powerful digits,
Bob, is all I can say!

393
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,680
HE PUFFS

394
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,120
Get your pulse right.
Come on, then.

395
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,080
I wonder what your blood pressure
is?!  It's going to do it!

396
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:17,640
Is it going to go?  Yep.

397
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,320
Whoa! Wait a minute.

398
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:26,040
That's extraordinary!
You did it!  Isn't it?

399
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:27,680
Hold that a minute.

400
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,960
Le clunch.

401
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:36,840
# Apple by the river! #

402
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,280
It's a ripped apple!

403
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,160
Come on, Paul.
We ain't going to top that!

404
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,680
Come on, let's pack up
and get back to the beach.

405
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:54,400
I'm pinning my hopes
on the mackerel off the beach.

406
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,320
Off Chesil Beach, yeah?  Yeah?

407
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:00,200
Imagine, we could cook
a mackerel on the beach.

408
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,640
Yeah.  That's what Chris Rea
would do, wouldn't he?

409
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,560
He'd cook it on the beach!
PAUL CHUCKLES

410
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,360
Ah!  Grab a rod. Follow me.

411
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,000
Ted!  Teddy, come on!
Come on, darling.

412
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,200
You're so ungrateful.

413
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:22,320
It's Monte Carlo or nothing
with you these days, isn't it?

414
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,760
Come on, Ted, we go fishy!
Come on.

415
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:28,480
# On the beach

416
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:31,960
# Yeah, yeah

417
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,760
# Down on the beach. #

418
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,160
Just going to start without you,
because if nobody's fishing,

419
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:39,320
nobody's catching.

420
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,000
I like your attitude. Go get 'em.

421
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,480
# On the beach... #

422
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:48,760
PAUL CHUCKLES

423
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,200
The old man and the sea!

424
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,480
Do you just leave it?

425
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:56,000
No. You switch it back. And wind.

426
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,040
Bob, wind!  I am winding!

427
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,240
DO wind!

428
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,680
You just get so many mixed messages
from you!

429
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,440
PAUL CHUCKLES

430
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,760
You don't go too far out, Bob.

431
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:09,560
Shelves off pretty quick.

432
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,200
It's blinking freezing and all.

433
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,880
In, in, in, in!  No!

434
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:26,600
In, in, in!  No!  In, in, in!

435
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,080
In!

436
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,840
No! Bob, I haven't even
got my waders on!

437
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,320
BOB LAUGHS
No!

438
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,240
Wow!

439
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,160
Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

440
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,600
What is that?  A gurnard.

441
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:43,000
Bernard?  Bernard the gurnard!

442
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,080
Let's get him back, Paul.  Yeah.

443
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,040
A sensational looking fish
in its own way, isn't it?

444
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,320
Yeah, they really are, aren't they?

445
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,560
Ooh! Ooh, ooh, Matron!

446
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,360
Ooh. That was a bit, wasn't it?

447
00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:55,480
Wait for the wave.

448
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:57,680
BOTH:  And away!

449
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,000
Well done, Bob!

450
00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:04,320
Do you know what, Bob?
You look like a sea fisherman.

451
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,960
Do I really?  Yeah.
That sounds like quite a sexy bloke.

452
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,800
Quite rugged.

453
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,960
You've lost your hair,
a little bit grizzled.

454
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,280
But, you know,
a bit of beard growth.

455
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,200
I've only got one thing
to say to you, Paul.  What's that?

456
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,040
Get out!

457
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,440
Where'd it go?

458
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:20,840
Nobody knows.

459
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,520
It's pretty idyllic,
isn't it, Bob?

460
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,200
Gorgeous, isn't it?  Yeah.

461
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:04,440
Hey, Ted.

462
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,320
Oh, don't drink that, Teddy!

463
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,280
Whee-hee! Ted, don't drink it!

464
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,280
PAUL CHUCKLES

465
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,160
Ahhh! Ahhh!

466
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:42,560
Aaahhhh!

467
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,040
Bob!

468
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:48,760
Are you all right?

469
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:51,880
Ah, man!  Are you all right?

470
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,400
Yeah.

471
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,000
It's cold, though!

472
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,480
It could have stopped your heart.

473
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,680
It's got it going,
to be honest with you!

474
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,200
Are you all right?
Oh, I just lost my balance.

475
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:04,800
It's not easy, is it?

476
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,040
When some of those waves come in.

477
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:08,360
Oh, man.

478
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:13,040
I'm going to get you some supper,
Paul. Something to eat.

479
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,680
OK, mate. Thank you.

480
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,600
Just going to dry off a bit.
OK.

481
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:36,400
Little bit of salsa
on there for Paul.

482
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,080
He's a spicy sort of guy.

483
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,640
Hey, boss.  Hello, Bobby.

484
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,160
Oh, we didn't get a mackerel, Paul.

485
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,400
But as you can see,
I brought some along with me.

486
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:02,960
You did some prep, didn't you?

487
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:04,840
Cos you knew we weren't
going to get a mackerel

488
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,840
here on glorious Chesil Beach.
Chesil Beach, yeah.

489
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:10,160
Because you either
get a mackerel or you don't.

490
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:11,880
They're here, or they're not.
Well, look at it, Bob.

491
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,000
It's quite a big expanse
of water out there, isn't it?

492
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,920
But it's been a great trip.
Trout. No grayling.

493
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,960
Our quest for grayling failed.

494
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:24,160
But our thirst for life...  Remains.
..remains vibrant.

495
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:25,560
Talking of thirst for life...

496
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:27,800
Yes, I do have a beer.

497
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,200
There you go.

498
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,080
Go on!

499
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,000
I know it's a bit naughty.

500
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,080
Quite like this sort
of rustic grub, Bob.

501
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:42,760
Oh, that's delicious.

502
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,720
It is really good, isn't it?

503
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:47,600
Shall we just stay here, Paul?

504
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,280
What, here?  Yeah.

505
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:50,960
Why would we leave, really?

506
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:52,760
Why would we leave?

507
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,000
Do you want to stay, Ted?

508
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,920
"Oh, well. Ah, go on, then."
Go on.

509
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:01,600
Yeah, I was going to say no, I've
got a briefcase appointment, but...

510
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:04,840
I'll open my beer then.
Have you not opened it yet?  No.

511
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,440
THEY LAUGH

512
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:19,160
# Beam into the future

513
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,280
# From the palm of your hand

514
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:27,760
# Why in the world
would you want to do that?

515
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:31,640
# Ride out to the station

516
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,040
# Stare out into space

517
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:42,000
# Why in the world
would I want to do that?

518
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:49,720
# So I was a young and modern guy,
wasn't I?

519
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:56,080
# So when did I cease
to see the light?

520
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,160
# Maybe you were right

521
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:05,200
# Maybe I'm all dried up inside

522
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:09,400
# Maybe I'm not built
for these times

523
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:13,000
# Maybe I don't know how to live. #