1
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Previously on "Resident Alien"...
2
00:00:03,916 --> 00:00:05,918
There are Grey-human hybrids
all over the Earth.
3
00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:08,791
If anybody's up to something,
I'll know it.
4
00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:11,054
I'm going away, Max,
but you're special.
5
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You're the only one
who can identify aliens.
6
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I am the Alien Tracker.
7
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I need to tell you something.
8
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Joseph is a Grey alien.
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I'm going to go
on another date with Joseph.
10
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I'll find out
what you need to know, OK?
11
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You and I are gonna
save Earth together.
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♪ I believe in the stars
13
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♪ That cover the sky
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♪ I believe
in the moon above ♪
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Don't wander too far, honey.
It's dark.
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♪ I believe God made them
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♪ For you and I to dream on
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I can't believe
you're friends with an alien.
19
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How many limbs does he have?
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Six, with razor-sharp teeth
and a black tongue.
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Cool.
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And he dips his pie
in oatmeal.
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He's a beast.
24
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Get ready.
25
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You're about to meet
a real-life extraterrestrial.
26
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What are you doing here?
I don't want visitors.
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- Um...
- And you know that I hate
28
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bike lines in my driveway dirt.
29
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Aliens are always
making jokes.
30
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Come on.
31
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I have a joke for you.
32
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What has three heads
33
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and has to get out of my house
and it's you?
34
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Us?
35
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Oh, you've heard it.
36
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:32,195
Wait, where is
grumpy headscarf?
37
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- She moved away.
- And left you here?
38
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Oh, that's like cutting off
the head of a chicken
39
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and watching its dumb
little body run into walls.
40
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- I don't need Sahar,
41
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and I'm not by myself.
42
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I started an alien club.
43
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- Hmm.
- This is Mari and Leo.
44
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I have already forgotten
your names.
45
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- Mari.
- Leo.
46
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We came here so you could
turn into an alien
47
00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:54,913
and show them
what you really look like.
48
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This little shit monkey
is bad enough.
49
00:02:57,655 --> 00:03:00,397
I do not want two more idiots
chasing me around.
50
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:02,617
I don't know
what you're talking about.
51
00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:06,229
I'm not an alien.
52
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He's a liar.
53
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You're the liar.
54
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Max isn't even his real name.
55
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It's Giuseppe.
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It's OK.
My real name is Bishop.
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Bishop?
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I see why you keep that
to yourself.
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You leave me no choice.
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I have been looking
for that taser everywhere!
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I should have known
this little pecker stole it.
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Reveal your true self now, alien.
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I want it back.
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It heats my coffee in seconds.
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But if I take it,
they will think I care
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and may believe I am an alien.
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I will wait.
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It is only a matter of time
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before this idiot
zaps himself.
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I knew he wasn't an alien.
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We should go.
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My name is Max,
and I'm the new Alien Tracker.
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Humans spend
their entire lives
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believing they are special.
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Even after they die,
they do everything
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00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:06,507
in their power
to remain special forever--
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00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:08,596
tombstones, plaques,
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00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:11,425
old libraries
with their names on them.
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00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:13,688
Not long ago,
the smartest minds on Earth
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believed the sun
revolved around them.
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The truth is, most humans
are not special at all.
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Ah.
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Hello, asshole.
You are not special either.
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00:04:43,674 --> 00:04:46,590
I have Asta on my side,
and together we will find out
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00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,070
why you are here.
86
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:52,335
Littering is a $50 fine.
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I know that.
88
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I'm... putting it in my truck.
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Oh!
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It's not littering
if it's liquid.
91
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:12,224
Now I need to get
another coffee.
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00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:13,878
Joseph is a Grey alien.
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00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:15,532
You can't go
on another date with him.
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00:05:15,532 --> 00:05:16,968
It's not a date.
95
00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:18,622
I just have to sit
across from the guy at dinner
96
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:20,058
and keep him interested
in staying.
97
00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:22,234
That sounds like every date
I've ever been on.
98
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Just long enough for Harry
to search his apartment.
99
00:05:24,802 --> 00:05:27,762
But do you really trust
Harry's plan?
100
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:31,026
What was his last plan again,
to destroy the Earth?
101
00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:32,157
How'd that work out?
102
00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:33,855
Uh, everything's still here.
103
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:36,988
D'arcy, I promise, you don't
have to worry about me, OK?
104
00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:38,381
I'll be fine.
105
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:39,904
OK, great, yeah.
106
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:43,517
I--I know you'll be fine
because I'm coming with.
107
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:45,301
I'm gonna be at the counter
as backup.
108
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No. No way.
109
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:48,522
Joseph will recognize you, OK?
110
00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:49,784
And then he'll be suspicious.
111
00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:52,482
Look, I didn't even tell
my dad.
112
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What if it gets dangerous?
113
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Do you remember when you beat
Laura Roberts at double Dutch
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and she shoved your head
into the sand like an ostrich?
115
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Not really.
116
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Maybe.
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That was third grade,
though, OK?
118
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I can take care of myself.
119
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Asta, do you prefer
120
00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:12,110
a confetti cake
or a red velvet cake?
121
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I think pie, because if you are
unable to finish it,
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I'll eat it.
123
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I'm gonna regret asking,
but why?
124
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Oh, there is a beautiful
ritual on my planet
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that whenever we send off
a volunteer
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on a suicide mission,
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we prepare for them
a last meal.
128
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You're not going.
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Bye, Harry.
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I'll put pie.
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I'm gonna be fine.
I'm gonna be so good.
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No, you--
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You know, you can trust me.
I love you.
134
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Houses in this neighborhood
are very desirable.
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00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:51,585
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
136
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,325
- Oh, that's great.
- Oh, yeah.
137
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I know my stuff.
138
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Hey. What's going on?
139
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Well, I ran into Judy,
and I mentioned
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that we were putting the house
on the market.
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And it turns out
that she's a realtor.
142
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Well, not--
not fully, not yet.
143
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I just--
I keep failing the test.
144
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But until I pass,
my Aunt Barbara lets me
145
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work with the clients
that she doesn't care about.
146
00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:13,476
- Oh.
- Wow.
147
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:16,697
So you're--you're really
serious about this?
148
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Yes, I told you.
149
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And Judy's got
some really good ideas.
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Yes, I do.
Yes, I do.
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A-right, this way, folks.
152
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:27,403
How do you guys feel
about animal print?
153
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Zebra?
154
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I mean, obviously,
these couches are hideous.
155
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No on that.
All this trim is just ugh.
156
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Obviously,
you're gonna want to get rid
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of the dead meat smell and--
158
00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:36,412
are these real?
159
00:07:36,412 --> 00:07:38,283
No. That's a good thing.
It's a teardown, really.
160
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,764
But we'll sell it, and then
they'll realize it later.
161
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Do you guys have any signs
with cursive on them?
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Like--like--like,
"Let's go jump in the lake,"
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you know,
or, like, "Great fun."
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Light, light, light. You know?
165
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Just open it up,
get rid of that,
166
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blow all this out, you know?
167
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Make it one big kitchen.
168
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Ooh!
A pizza oven right here.
169
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:57,520
Popcorn machine's
actually better.
170
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It draws the eye.
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You're gonna want
to draw the eye.
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- Mm-hmm. Not those.
- Yeah.
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You know, I'm just not sure
174
00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:07,356
that it's the right time
to sell.
175
00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:10,098
You know, the market and all.
- Oh, no. No, no.
176
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,882
The market's always strong
for a murder house.
177
00:08:11,882 --> 00:08:13,580
- Mm.
- I'm sorry?
178
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:14,668
Oh, well, OK.
179
00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:16,844
Yeah, technically,
murder-suicide.
180
00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:20,151
I don't know about "murder."
181
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:21,805
I mean, didn't the--
didn't the previous owner
182
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just kind of slip and fall?
183
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Yeah, she did.
184
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She got shot in the gut,
185
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slipped and fell
in her own blood,
186
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and then she got two more
to the back execution style.
187
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Blam!
188
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What?
189
00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,339
Blam!
190
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Ben, don't you remember?
- Hmm?
191
00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:38,561
You wrote a story about it
in first grade.
192
00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:41,564
You drew all the pictures,
used up all the red crayons.
193
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,610
Mm, not ringing a bell.
194
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:44,872
Who got shot?
195
00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:46,438
Some of the brown crayons
too, remember,
196
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because the lady
shit her pants.
197
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:49,877
OK, Max, can you upstairs?
198
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:52,706
I miss all the good stories.
199
00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:54,272
You know, I--I just think
200
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:56,057
that we should at least
maybe talk about it.
201
00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:58,712
Yeah, we did, just now.
202
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:01,279
I can't live here.
OK.
203
00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:02,803
- So I'll do the listing?
- Yes.
204
00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:04,413
And you guys get started
on the renovating.
205
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:06,023
Oh, you know what, though?
206
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:07,547
I wouldn't pull up
the floorboards,
207
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,592
definitely not the ones
in the basement.
208
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:12,987
Unless you guys like skeletons,
which some people do.
209
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:15,250
We can list it on Halloween.
210
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,469
Boo!
211
00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:19,036
Come on.
212
00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:24,651
Maybe we could just
burn the house down
213
00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:25,739
with me inside it.
214
00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:33,398
I smell baked goods.
215
00:09:33,398 --> 00:09:36,576
Yeah, the banana bread is
for Esther at the lab
216
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,317
to expedite the prints we got
from Peter Bach's van,
217
00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:41,406
and the chocolate chip cookies
218
00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:43,321
are for Maureen
at the post office
219
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:45,672
to hurry the prints
to Esther at the lab.
220
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:48,500
And the blueberry muffins?
221
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:49,937
For Ben.
222
00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:51,460
He likes them.
223
00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:57,292
And for you.
- Yes!
224
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:59,163
My grandmother's
secret recipe.
225
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,991
The day I took it
from her drawer,
226
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:02,427
she threw a toaster at my head.
227
00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:04,168
She was tough, but she was also
228
00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:06,301
why I went undefeated
in dodgeball.
229
00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:07,955
There's six blueberries
in one half
230
00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:09,260
and two blueberries
in the other.
231
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,567
Was your oven on its side?
232
00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:14,614
No thank you.
233
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,181
Also,
Detective Torres called here
234
00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:18,356
twice already looking for you.
235
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:20,837
Let--let's just
get to work, OK?
236
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:23,013
Oh, no.
You're not talking.
237
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:24,014
Are you ghosting her?
238
00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:25,537
Ghosts talk, Deputy.
239
00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:27,191
That's one of the main things
ghosts do.
240
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:28,453
If somebody has
something to say
241
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:29,803
and then they die
before they say it,
242
00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:31,152
they turn ghost.
243
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:32,719
They write
on fogged-up mirrors.
244
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,242
They whisper in your ear before
you fall asleep at night.
245
00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:36,287
They turn bathwater into blood.
246
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:37,680
OK? That's communicating.
247
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,160
OK.
248
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,684
Is there something you're not
communicating to Lena?
249
00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:47,864
Get this, right--she planned
a trip for us next month,
250
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:50,127
all expenses paid by her.
251
00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:51,651
First she's paying for dinners.
252
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,261
Now she's paying
for entire weekends.
253
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:54,697
What's next?
She gonna give me her kidney?
254
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:56,133
Oh, not this again.
255
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:57,526
You're right, not this.
256
00:10:57,526 --> 00:10:59,528
Because this conversation,
it's over.
257
00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:01,356
I'm bringing Ben his muffins
and I'm taking
258
00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:02,574
one of Esther's cookies.
259
00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:04,402
Oh, the cookies
are for Maureen.
260
00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:06,883
Esther is the banana bread.
261
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:08,363
I don't care.
262
00:11:08,363 --> 00:11:10,626
At least the chocolate chips
are evenly spaced.
263
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:18,199
Here, Deputy Liv made you
some lopsided muffins.
264
00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:20,201
Oh, I love these.
265
00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:22,159
What's this?
266
00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:23,378
You getting a pool?
267
00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:25,423
Uh, I don't know.
268
00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:27,121
Kate wants to sell the house.
269
00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:29,732
I thought maybe if I put in
a pool, she'd want to stay.
270
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:31,342
You can count me out.
271
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:33,257
I don't swim in water
somebody else is tea-bagging.
272
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:34,998
I'm pretty sure
we'd be wearing bathing suits.
273
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:36,870
Shit, water don't care.
274
00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:39,089
You wrap a tea bag in a Speedo
and you put it in some water,
275
00:11:39,089 --> 00:11:40,090
you still gonna get
a cup of tea
276
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,744
that tastes like your nuts.
277
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:44,747
For that, and other reasons,
it's not an option.
278
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,618
I can't afford it.
279
00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:49,752
Really?
280
00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:52,276
Hmm.
281
00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:54,235
Take off your shoe and sock.
282
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:55,627
- What?
- You heard me.
283
00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:57,151
Go on and make your foot naked.
Let's see it.
284
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:59,414
I'm gonna say no.
285
00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:03,940
Uh--possible HR violation.
286
00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:05,899
Yeah, that is a pretty foot.
287
00:12:05,899 --> 00:12:07,901
You got yourself
a dancer's arch.
288
00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:10,730
Ooh, my, my, my, my, my.
289
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,296
You know what?
290
00:12:12,296 --> 00:12:14,124
I got the answer
to your problems.
291
00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:16,170
You come see me after work.
292
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:17,606
Bring your feet.
293
00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:30,271
My people should not
have given up
294
00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:33,578
the Earth to the Greys.
295
00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:35,842
They are ruthless,
but we have beaten them
296
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:38,322
every time we have faced
each other.
297
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,500
I do not need the help
of my people
298
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,676
to defeat
a single Grey hybrid.
299
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,722
I will be very happy
doing it by my--
300
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:48,811
- All right.
301
00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:52,597
Let's do this.
302
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:02,042
I know this building.
303
00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:03,739
I applied
for an apartment here,
304
00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:05,349
but I got turned down.
305
00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:06,916
A Grey alien got in?
306
00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,744
This is bullshit.
307
00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:11,312
You stay here.
You will be the lookout.
308
00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:12,704
No way.
309
00:13:12,704 --> 00:13:14,054
All these units are
newly renovated.
310
00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:15,795
I gotta see which one he got.
- Hmm.
311
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:16,970
He probably has
a steam shower
312
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:18,841
I need to take a shit into.
313
00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:22,018
OK.
314
00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:27,241
Holy shit. Can you fly?
315
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:30,897
If I could fly,
why would I climb?
316
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:34,465
I mean, seriously.
317
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:36,380
Well, I can't do either.
318
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:45,912
Grab the rope and pull me up.
319
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,478
Oh, no, I missed.
320
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:52,570
Pull me up or I'll put
a sign in the bar
321
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:55,486
that says
Harry Vanderspeigle kicks dogs.
322
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:57,445
I do not.
323
00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:59,055
Who tells these lies?
324
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:01,231
Me, you idiot.
I just made it up.
325
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:03,233
- Oh.
- And people will believe me
326
00:14:03,233 --> 00:14:05,670
because you have
a dog-kicking face.
327
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:06,889
I do not.
328
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:08,891
Pull me up
or I'll make up worse.
329
00:14:10,197 --> 00:14:12,373
I do not have
a dog-kicking face.
330
00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:13,635
Throw it.
331
00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:21,425
♪ I'm like a bandit
332
00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:24,994
♪ I steal kisses of hers
333
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:26,604
♪ Late in the midnight hour
334
00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:28,258
Wait. What are you doing?
335
00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:32,610
You're right.
336
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:34,612
Oh, my favorite.
337
00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:36,353
- I'm sorry.
338
00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:39,879
I'm having trouble looking out
of my dog-kicking face at you.
339
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,750
Best burgers in town.
340
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,883
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
341
00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:47,974
Jesus.
342
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:50,106
All right,
I'll see you tomorrow.
343
00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:51,716
♪ Sock it to me
344
00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:08,429
Hmm.
345
00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:13,434
People really pay money
for this?
346
00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:15,001
Not if you keep moving.
You gotta stay still.
347
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,219
I'm trying to get
the angle right.
348
00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:17,960
I can't. Ow! Cramp.
349
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,483
Cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp.
- Oh, use it. Go with that.
350
00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:21,485
There's a whole section
of the website called Crampus.
351
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,661
Oh, God. No.
Look, it's just too weird.
352
00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,228
I know what you're doing.
353
00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,230
You're trying
to make it sound dirty.
354
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,405
It's not.
355
00:15:28,405 --> 00:15:30,103
It's not dirty.
356
00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:33,019
Now spread your toes for me.
357
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,847
- No shame in making money.
358
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:37,632
I mean, the root
of essential living
359
00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:39,982
is financial security, independence.
360
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,462
Hey, a man's gotta
take care of himself
361
00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:44,160
first and foremost,
even if a woman inserts herself
362
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,857
and starts planning trips.
363
00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:48,773
Lena planned an impromptu
vacation for the two of us.
364
00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:50,993
And before you say, "So what,"
365
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:52,603
that's not the way
it's supposed to be.
366
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:54,779
I'm supposed to be
the one initiating that.
367
00:15:54,779 --> 00:15:56,172
Says who?
368
00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:57,913
Now, that's very close
to "So what."
369
00:15:57,913 --> 00:15:59,741
Well, you're talking
about roles,
370
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:02,048
and everyone in a relationship
has a role they play,
371
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,832
and it works--
372
00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:06,400
as long as one of you doesn't
suddenly switch up the roles
373
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:07,836
after ten years
so you have no idea
374
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,185
what's happening with her.
375
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:11,361
OK, I feel like
this is no longer about me.
376
00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:15,235
When I was eight,
my teacher had us write down
377
00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:17,715
what we were doing
for summer vacation.
378
00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:20,283
I wrote, "Fear."
379
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:23,025
That's me.
That's my thing.
380
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:26,594
Now, suddenly,
Kate's afraid of birds,
381
00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:28,378
and that scares me.
382
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:31,033
I mean, how am I supposed to be
the one hiding under the bed
383
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:33,122
when she's already there?
384
00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:35,820
Well, let me lay
a little wisdom on you.
385
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:39,868
A man's job is to take care
of his woman, full stop.
386
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:42,305
See, me, I'm old-school, right?
387
00:16:42,305 --> 00:16:43,698
I like holding doors open.
388
00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:45,047
Do I really want a woman
389
00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:46,701
who's gonna lay her jacket
over a puddle
390
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,007
so my pumps don't get wet?
391
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,399
Well, you're not married.
392
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:50,792
If you don't like her,
break it off.
393
00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:53,055
I do like her, a lot.
394
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:54,448
I mean,
Lena's an amazing woman.
395
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,102
She's smart.
She's beautiful.
396
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:58,060
She's got great taste
in tactical knives.
397
00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,583
- Sure.
- Independent.
398
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,281
I actually like
her independence.
399
00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:02,978
I think it's kind of sexy.
400
00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:05,676
Is it too much to ask for,
to find an independent woman
401
00:17:05,676 --> 00:17:07,809
who only does what I want?
402
00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:12,379
Wait.
403
00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:14,468
What is this lump in your foot?
What is that?
404
00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:16,513
Oh, it's been there
since I was a kid.
405
00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:17,645
Really?
406
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,081
You might want
to get that looked at.
407
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:20,691
If that gets any bigger,
that could derail
408
00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:22,911
your foot modeling career
before it starts.
409
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:26,306
There's no section of
the website called Lump Foot.
410
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:30,440
Hey, I saw a light...
411
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,963
on.
412
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:37,795
She don't know art.
413
00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:39,319
Ah, yeah. See?
414
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:40,624
This is why I wanted a place
in this building--
415
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:41,973
brand-new appliances?
416
00:17:41,973 --> 00:17:43,149
I'm so pissed.
417
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:44,628
Would you focus
your tiny brain?
418
00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:47,109
Remember why we are here,
to find evidence
419
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,503
and get little drawings
or notes
420
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:52,288
or anything
out of the ordinary.
421
00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:54,160
I'll tell you
what's out of the ordinary--
422
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,640
$600 microwave.
423
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,034
I had no idea
aliens were so bougie.
424
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:01,515
We are not all alike.
425
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:03,169
That's racist.
426
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:05,345
You're right.
I apologize.
427
00:18:05,345 --> 00:18:07,825
How is your breed different?
428
00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,827
Ooh, can I say "breed"?
429
00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:10,959
All right, I'm still learning.
430
00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:12,569
We are protectors.
431
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:14,658
The Greys, they--
432
00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:19,359
The Greys, they are just cruel.
433
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,535
They should not even be here.
434
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:25,321
Their spaghetti bodies
and their meatball heads
435
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:27,193
only allow them to live
in the Earth's atmosphere
436
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:29,151
for a short amount of time.
437
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:30,457
That's why
they created hybrids?
438
00:18:30,457 --> 00:18:31,675
Yes.
439
00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:34,374
We have been here
for thousands of years.
440
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,376
We belong here.
They do not.
441
00:18:36,376 --> 00:18:39,118
See how easy it is
to sound racist?
442
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,903
Mm.
443
00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:42,904
Look at this.
444
00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,297
Jack's pot!
445
00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:45,820
That's just a pizza box.
446
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:47,561
I don't think it's filled
with alien secrets.
447
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:50,216
Well, maybe it's filled
with pizza.
448
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:51,826
I'm hungry.
449
00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:55,786
Wait, wait.
450
00:18:55,786 --> 00:18:58,485
What if it's a trap?
451
00:18:58,485 --> 00:19:00,051
Hmm...
452
00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:17,156
That was worth the risk.
453
00:19:18,722 --> 00:19:22,335
I was upset our last date
got interrupted so quickly.
454
00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:24,250
Yeah, me too.
455
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:27,253
Could have talked for hours.
456
00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:28,776
I would have liked that.
457
00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:32,214
We never got a chance
to talk about your mother.
458
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:34,738
Like I said,
she wasn't around.
459
00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:37,088
I lost my mother
when I was a kid too,
460
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:39,395
so I can relate.
461
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:41,919
What an odd coincidence.
462
00:19:41,919 --> 00:19:45,836
Look at us,
just two people with no moms.
463
00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:50,145
Really?
464
00:19:50,145 --> 00:19:51,929
What if it's poisoned?
465
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:54,280
If it was poisoned,
it would have more flavor.
466
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,891
Anthony must have
the night off.
467
00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:59,589
It needs pepper flakes.
468
00:20:01,591 --> 00:20:05,291
What idiot puts
crushed red pepper over there?
469
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:08,207
Harry, no!
470
00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:13,647
Ooh!
471
00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:16,171
Oh, no.
472
00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:18,304
The pizza's outside the trap.
473
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,745
Oh, good.
That's done.
474
00:20:28,052 --> 00:20:29,532
We can drop the act now.
475
00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:32,318
I know that you know
that I'm what I am.
476
00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:34,755
Yeah?
And what is that?
477
00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:35,799
You know.
478
00:20:38,193 --> 00:20:39,673
Why don't we both say
at the same time
479
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:42,197
so I know what it is
you think I know?
480
00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:44,112
OK, one, two, three.
481
00:20:44,112 --> 00:20:45,853
Grey alien.
- Asshole.
482
00:20:45,853 --> 00:20:48,029
So both.
483
00:20:48,029 --> 00:20:52,207
You will tell me everything
that you know about Harry.
484
00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:53,948
And why would I do that?
485
00:20:53,948 --> 00:20:56,342
Because I have him trapped.
486
00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:04,219
Stupid cell phone companies.
487
00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:06,917
They shut off my service again
just for not paying my bill.
488
00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:08,310
I am done with them.
489
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:09,703
It's not the phone.
490
00:21:09,703 --> 00:21:12,836
There is a Reticulan
Photon Net.
491
00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:15,317
And it--it's a pretty
nice one, actually.
492
00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:17,232
OK, well, if your people
are so superior,
493
00:21:17,232 --> 00:21:18,973
why don't you just override it?
494
00:21:18,973 --> 00:21:20,844
This is advanced
alien technology.
495
00:21:20,844 --> 00:21:24,152
You cannot just override it.
496
00:21:24,152 --> 00:21:28,069
You have to construct a thin,
nonconductive plasma deflector
497
00:21:28,069 --> 00:21:30,985
to interfere with the complex
magnetic field.
498
00:21:30,985 --> 00:21:32,682
So there's nothing we can do?
499
00:21:32,682 --> 00:21:34,467
We could unplug it.
500
00:21:35,685 --> 00:21:37,470
The magnetic perimeter
only confines
501
00:21:37,470 --> 00:21:39,646
the molecular structure
for alien life.
502
00:21:39,646 --> 00:21:42,344
Humans can pass right through.
503
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:44,433
Well, why didn't you
just tell me that?
504
00:21:46,435 --> 00:21:51,397
God, you said
I could walk right through it!
505
00:21:51,397 --> 00:21:53,007
It was 50/50.
506
00:21:58,665 --> 00:22:00,362
♪ I can't help falling
507
00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:01,972
Act normal.
508
00:22:01,972 --> 00:22:05,062
I would hate for something
to happen to your father.
509
00:22:05,062 --> 00:22:06,455
He makes a great hamburger.
510
00:22:08,196 --> 00:22:09,893
Ow.
511
00:22:09,893 --> 00:22:11,330
I said act normal.
512
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,592
That is normal.
513
00:22:12,592 --> 00:22:15,899
I always kick my dates
when they lie to me.
514
00:22:15,899 --> 00:22:18,424
Why don't you make this easy
and tell me
515
00:22:18,424 --> 00:22:20,469
why he is still in Patience?
516
00:22:20,469 --> 00:22:21,949
He hasn't told me shit.
517
00:22:21,949 --> 00:22:23,559
And even if he did,
I wouldn't tell you.
518
00:22:23,559 --> 00:22:25,039
Mm-mm, mm-mm.
519
00:22:25,039 --> 00:22:26,432
Neither of you are in
a position to be making rules.
520
00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:29,086
Oh, stop the bullshit.
521
00:22:29,086 --> 00:22:30,479
I know you can't kill him
522
00:22:30,479 --> 00:22:33,003
because it's against
the Galactic Charter thingy.
523
00:22:33,003 --> 00:22:36,572
So he has been
sharing information.
524
00:22:38,444 --> 00:22:39,923
Well, you got me.
525
00:22:39,923 --> 00:22:41,577
I can't kill Harry.
526
00:22:41,577 --> 00:22:45,189
But your friend is fair game.
527
00:22:45,189 --> 00:22:47,017
See, I thought
it was just gonna be Harry,
528
00:22:47,017 --> 00:22:51,282
but this one is a bonus.
529
00:22:51,282 --> 00:22:53,502
If you hurt her,
I will kill you.
530
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,292
Don't do anything stupid,
or people will die,
531
00:23:01,292 --> 00:23:03,382
understand?
532
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:04,687
Hey.
533
00:23:04,687 --> 00:23:07,168
Hey, I'm Jay.
- I'm busy, Jay.
534
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:10,171
OK.
535
00:23:13,783 --> 00:23:14,915
Nice work.
536
00:23:17,961 --> 00:23:20,442
Asta is in trouble.
Who is that guy?
537
00:23:20,442 --> 00:23:22,531
The new deputy.
538
00:23:22,531 --> 00:23:24,446
He's bad.
539
00:23:24,446 --> 00:23:25,795
Just go. I got it.
540
00:23:25,795 --> 00:23:26,970
I'm staying.
541
00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:28,798
Jay, you go.
542
00:23:28,798 --> 00:23:30,496
I got it.
543
00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:31,975
Fine.
544
00:23:46,860 --> 00:23:48,818
- Hey.
- Hey.
545
00:23:48,818 --> 00:23:51,386
Hey, sorry.
546
00:23:51,386 --> 00:23:53,432
I kept meaning
to call you back,
547
00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:57,479
and then the day just
got away from me.
548
00:23:57,479 --> 00:24:01,614
Um...
549
00:24:01,614 --> 00:24:04,181
look.
550
00:24:04,181 --> 00:24:06,967
I've been thinking
a lot about us.
551
00:24:06,967 --> 00:24:08,272
I know that you're not thrilled
552
00:24:08,272 --> 00:24:10,361
about me picking up a check
now and then.
553
00:24:10,361 --> 00:24:13,495
And you're clearly not OK
with me taking you on a trip.
554
00:24:14,844 --> 00:24:18,195
I like you a lot,
555
00:24:18,195 --> 00:24:21,503
and I want you to be happy,
not uncomfortable.
556
00:24:21,503 --> 00:24:22,852
Well, thank you.
557
00:24:22,852 --> 00:24:26,508
I appreciate that.
558
00:24:26,508 --> 00:24:29,163
So I think that we should
just end this right now.
559
00:24:32,079 --> 00:24:35,343
Oh. I see.
560
00:24:35,343 --> 00:24:36,692
Do you?
561
00:24:36,692 --> 00:24:41,523
You are who you are, Mike,
but I am who I am.
562
00:24:41,523 --> 00:24:46,223
And when I care about someone,
I show it.
563
00:24:46,223 --> 00:24:48,443
I'm not gonna change who I am.
564
00:24:50,532 --> 00:24:52,534
I have to set an example
for my son.
565
00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:54,536
No, I--I understand.
566
00:24:54,536 --> 00:24:56,538
I was--I was looking forward
to meeting him.
567
00:24:56,538 --> 00:24:59,585
Well, this is why
you haven't.
568
00:25:04,546 --> 00:25:06,896
Take care, Mike.
569
00:25:24,740 --> 00:25:26,568
- Hey.
- Hey.
570
00:25:31,965 --> 00:25:34,968
So I think we should
sell the house.
571
00:25:34,968 --> 00:25:36,578
You do?
572
00:25:36,578 --> 00:25:38,580
If you do, yes.
573
00:25:38,580 --> 00:25:39,755
Because I don't.
574
00:25:39,755 --> 00:25:41,278
Oh, thank God.
575
00:25:41,278 --> 00:25:42,758
I love this house.
576
00:25:42,758 --> 00:25:45,152
I--I never want to leave.
577
00:25:45,152 --> 00:25:47,415
I don't care
if somebody died in it.
578
00:25:47,415 --> 00:25:48,851
- People die.
- People die.
579
00:25:48,851 --> 00:25:49,983
I want to die here.
580
00:25:49,983 --> 00:25:51,288
I want to die here with you.
581
00:25:51,288 --> 00:25:53,682
I want to, you know,
haunt this place.
582
00:25:53,682 --> 00:25:54,727
You know, chop us up.
583
00:25:54,727 --> 00:25:56,076
Bury us underneath
the floorboards.
584
00:25:56,076 --> 00:25:57,730
- I don't want that.
- No, me neither.
585
00:25:57,730 --> 00:25:59,209
Me neither.
586
00:25:59,209 --> 00:26:00,689
So then what?
587
00:26:00,689 --> 00:26:02,691
I don't know.
588
00:26:06,303 --> 00:26:08,828
I just don't feel right.
589
00:26:08,828 --> 00:26:10,960
And at first, I thought
I didn't feel right here,
590
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,746
but...
591
00:26:13,746 --> 00:26:16,792
now I think it's just me.
592
00:26:16,792 --> 00:26:20,927
You know, like--like a part
of me is missing or something.
593
00:26:20,927 --> 00:26:22,929
Mm.
594
00:26:22,929 --> 00:26:24,757
Maybe you just need
595
00:26:24,757 --> 00:26:26,672
to get out of the house
for a little bit.
596
00:26:26,672 --> 00:26:30,153
You know, we can go somewhere.
A vacation?
597
00:26:30,153 --> 00:26:32,155
I haven't been on a trip
in a while.
598
00:26:32,155 --> 00:26:33,983
Oh, and we have
a long weekend coming up.
599
00:26:33,983 --> 00:26:35,506
We can go somewhere fun.
600
00:26:35,506 --> 00:26:37,639
Oh, my God,
I know the perfect place.
601
00:26:37,639 --> 00:26:40,990
Me too: Yellowstone.
602
00:26:40,990 --> 00:26:43,166
- I was gonna say Paris.
- Oh.
603
00:26:43,166 --> 00:26:46,605
But yeah, Yellowstone.
604
00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:49,520
♪ Another lonely night
605
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:50,652
Thanks, honey.
606
00:26:53,655 --> 00:26:56,571
Damn it, I told Asta
your plan was stupid.
607
00:26:56,571 --> 00:26:58,442
Now I'm trapped in here,
no way out,
608
00:26:58,442 --> 00:26:59,661
and Asta's stuck at the diner
609
00:26:59,661 --> 00:27:02,229
with some hybrid alien
psychopath.
610
00:27:02,229 --> 00:27:05,580
My plan was stupid.
I am stupid.
611
00:27:05,580 --> 00:27:06,929
I hate myself.
612
00:27:06,929 --> 00:27:08,322
Oh, I didn't say all that.
613
00:27:08,322 --> 00:27:10,454
You should have.
I'm worthless.
614
00:27:10,454 --> 00:27:12,674
I failed in my attempt
to destroy all of humanity,
615
00:27:12,674 --> 00:27:15,372
and now I'm failing
in my attempt to save it.
616
00:27:15,372 --> 00:27:19,594
I am nothing but a big,
stupid, human-shaped failure.
617
00:27:22,728 --> 00:27:24,077
Yeah.
618
00:27:24,077 --> 00:27:27,646
Well, you know,
welcome to the club.
619
00:27:29,212 --> 00:27:32,085
You're a failure too?
620
00:27:32,085 --> 00:27:36,176
Yeah, I'm the biggest failure
in Olympics history, man.
621
00:27:36,176 --> 00:27:37,394
Oh, right.
622
00:27:37,394 --> 00:27:40,528
You had to eradicate
a species.
623
00:27:40,528 --> 00:27:42,878
All I had to do was
ski down a hill.
624
00:27:42,878 --> 00:27:44,184
Couldn't even get that right.
625
00:27:44,184 --> 00:27:46,055
That's right,
and you didn't even make it
626
00:27:46,055 --> 00:27:48,275
down the mountain
because you fell.
627
00:27:48,275 --> 00:27:50,233
- Right.
- Millions of people saw you
628
00:27:50,233 --> 00:27:51,800
fail on television.
629
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:52,845
It's pretty stupid.
630
00:27:52,845 --> 00:27:54,237
It seems like
it should be easy
631
00:27:54,237 --> 00:27:56,457
'cause skiing's mostly gravity.
632
00:27:56,457 --> 00:27:58,198
Yeah, you know what?
You made your point.
633
00:27:58,198 --> 00:28:00,026
Yes, that we are
both failures.
634
00:28:08,556 --> 00:28:12,603
Um, Harry,
do you think it's possible
635
00:28:12,603 --> 00:28:15,345
this Grey technology is
making us bigger?
636
00:28:15,345 --> 00:28:17,173
- No.
- Cool.
637
00:28:17,173 --> 00:28:19,436
Then this thing is
closing in on us.
638
00:28:19,436 --> 00:28:21,656
Oh, he got the new kind.
639
00:28:28,619 --> 00:28:30,317
You better tell me
what you know.
640
00:28:30,317 --> 00:28:31,666
Time is running out.
641
00:28:31,666 --> 00:28:33,059
OK.
642
00:28:33,059 --> 00:28:34,625
OK, fine.
643
00:28:34,625 --> 00:28:37,498
Harry's real name
644
00:28:37,498 --> 00:28:40,806
is... Mork,
645
00:28:40,806 --> 00:28:46,333
and he is from a planet
called... Ork.
646
00:28:46,333 --> 00:28:48,770
OK, good.
647
00:28:48,770 --> 00:28:52,165
Was that really so hard?
648
00:28:52,165 --> 00:28:54,123
Mork.
649
00:28:54,123 --> 00:28:55,777
I don't know this planet Ork.
650
00:28:55,777 --> 00:28:56,952
Who does he report to?
651
00:28:56,952 --> 00:28:59,085
A very powerful being.
652
00:28:59,085 --> 00:29:01,957
I think his name is Orson.
653
00:29:01,957 --> 00:29:03,437
- Orson?
- Yeah.
654
00:29:03,437 --> 00:29:07,658
Orson.
I think I've heard of him.
655
00:29:07,658 --> 00:29:10,705
Mm-hmm.
656
00:29:10,705 --> 00:29:12,315
You got to do something.
657
00:29:12,315 --> 00:29:13,360
You're an alien.
658
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:14,970
I just watched you
climb a wall.
659
00:29:14,970 --> 00:29:16,363
Don't you have
any other special powers?
660
00:29:16,363 --> 00:29:17,712
Mm.
661
00:29:17,712 --> 00:29:19,627
Even ET could
levitate toys and shit.
662
00:29:19,627 --> 00:29:21,716
He is so special.
663
00:29:21,716 --> 00:29:24,153
ET could fly a bicycle.
664
00:29:24,153 --> 00:29:26,025
ET had a flashlight
for a finger.
665
00:29:26,025 --> 00:29:28,592
Do you know what it is like
to be constantly compared
666
00:29:28,592 --> 00:29:31,552
to that waddling sex doll?
667
00:29:31,552 --> 00:29:34,816
Look, out of all the aliens
on your planet,
668
00:29:34,816 --> 00:29:37,906
you're the one who was chosen
669
00:29:37,906 --> 00:29:40,343
to come here and kill
everyone on Earth.
670
00:29:40,343 --> 00:29:41,867
They picked you.
671
00:29:41,867 --> 00:29:43,956
That makes you special too.
So think.
672
00:29:43,956 --> 00:29:45,218
But they didn't pick me.
673
00:29:45,218 --> 00:29:47,002
I volunteered
'cause I knew I could do it.
674
00:29:47,002 --> 00:29:48,874
But I couldn't do it.
I failed.
675
00:29:48,874 --> 00:29:50,832
No, you volunteered
676
00:29:50,832 --> 00:29:53,095
because you knew
you could do it.
677
00:29:53,095 --> 00:29:56,055
That makes you special.
678
00:29:56,055 --> 00:29:59,754
Yes, and you volunteered
to do this.
679
00:29:59,754 --> 00:30:02,801
Does that also
make you special?
680
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:05,847
Yeah, I guess it does.
681
00:30:05,847 --> 00:30:08,328
Maybe we're not failures.
682
00:30:08,328 --> 00:30:11,244
Since I was a kid,
all I cared about, right,
683
00:30:11,244 --> 00:30:13,855
was being the best skier
in the world.
684
00:30:13,855 --> 00:30:15,901
You wanted to kill
everyone in the world.
685
00:30:15,901 --> 00:30:17,685
- Mm-hmm.
- Those are big goals.
686
00:30:17,685 --> 00:30:22,603
And stopping the Greys,
that is no small thing either.
687
00:30:22,603 --> 00:30:25,388
We're not stuck in here
because we're failures.
688
00:30:25,388 --> 00:30:29,610
We're in here because
no one else would even try.
689
00:30:29,610 --> 00:30:33,875
Yes. I'm not a failure.
690
00:30:33,875 --> 00:30:35,746
I am special.
691
00:30:37,444 --> 00:30:39,576
Oh. Oh.
692
00:30:41,491 --> 00:30:43,885
I'm special too, right?
693
00:30:43,885 --> 00:30:46,757
Yes, you are special.
694
00:30:46,757 --> 00:30:49,325
Do I really have
a dog-kicking face?
695
00:30:49,325 --> 00:30:52,720
- No, no, no.
696
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:55,592
See? I told you.
Alien technology.
697
00:30:55,592 --> 00:30:56,898
Thank God.
698
00:30:56,898 --> 00:30:59,596
What are you doing here?
Did you follow me?
699
00:30:59,596 --> 00:31:03,644
No, I've been tracking you,
because I'm the Alien Tracker.
700
00:31:03,644 --> 00:31:05,124
How did you get
past security?
701
00:31:05,124 --> 00:31:07,822
His fortress is impenetrable.
702
00:31:07,822 --> 00:31:08,867
Door was unlocked.
703
00:31:08,867 --> 00:31:09,911
Son of a bitch.
704
00:31:09,911 --> 00:31:10,999
Who cares?
705
00:31:10,999 --> 00:31:12,871
Max, unplug this thing.
706
00:31:15,003 --> 00:31:18,746
I will, if you tell them
you're an alien.
707
00:31:18,746 --> 00:31:20,008
Then we are both going to die
708
00:31:20,008 --> 00:31:21,575
because I am nothing
but a dumb human.
709
00:31:21,575 --> 00:31:22,706
Ugh!
710
00:31:22,706 --> 00:31:25,013
Max, unplug this,
or when I die,
711
00:31:25,013 --> 00:31:26,885
I will haunt the shit
out of you.
712
00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:29,235
I don't care.
I like ghosts.
713
00:31:29,235 --> 00:31:30,453
I don't.
714
00:31:30,453 --> 00:31:32,107
She's scary
even when she's alive.
715
00:31:32,107 --> 00:31:34,327
He's not an alien.
I knew Max was a liar.
716
00:31:34,327 --> 00:31:35,981
All right,
take it easy, Bishop.
717
00:31:38,984 --> 00:31:41,943
Fine. I am a human.
718
00:31:41,943 --> 00:31:44,424
Obviously.
719
00:31:44,424 --> 00:31:49,298
But the person who lives here
is an alien, obviously.
720
00:31:49,298 --> 00:31:53,128
And the reason that you were
able to track down his lair
721
00:31:53,128 --> 00:31:56,958
is because you, Max,
722
00:31:56,958 --> 00:31:59,352
are the Alien Tracker.
723
00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:05,401
Wow.
724
00:32:05,401 --> 00:32:08,143
Cool.
725
00:32:08,143 --> 00:32:11,799
And this Mindy person,
what's her role in all this?
726
00:32:13,453 --> 00:32:14,976
No, no. Damn it.
727
00:32:14,976 --> 00:32:17,152
What's the Grey word
for screw-up?
728
00:32:17,152 --> 00:32:19,589
Oh, or is it just Joseph?
729
00:32:19,589 --> 00:32:21,069
Well, I still have you.
730
00:32:21,069 --> 00:32:24,638
Just smile like nothing's wrong
and get up.
731
00:32:24,638 --> 00:32:26,248
We're walking out of here.
732
00:32:29,773 --> 00:32:32,515
- Get out. She stays.
733
00:32:32,515 --> 00:32:36,128
You have no idea
what you're dealing with.
734
00:32:36,128 --> 00:32:39,435
Oh, no. You're an alien?
735
00:32:40,610 --> 00:32:42,090
You think I give a shit?
736
00:32:42,090 --> 00:32:44,179
You can't swing a dead cat
in this town
737
00:32:44,179 --> 00:32:46,877
without hitting an alien.
738
00:32:46,877 --> 00:32:49,228
Double Dutch that,
Laura Roberts.
739
00:32:51,230 --> 00:32:54,015
Is she the one that dunked
your head in the sand?
740
00:32:54,015 --> 00:32:56,365
What? Uh, I don't know.
Maybe. Can't remember.
741
00:32:56,365 --> 00:32:58,193
- Don't worry, folks.
742
00:32:58,193 --> 00:32:59,890
He had too much to drink.
743
00:33:02,806 --> 00:33:08,551
♪ Here I was
wasting all my time ♪
744
00:33:08,551 --> 00:33:10,858
Hi, sir.
745
00:33:10,858 --> 00:33:12,164
Bad news from the lab.
746
00:33:12,164 --> 00:33:14,601
No hit on the fingerprints.
747
00:33:14,601 --> 00:33:17,430
I really thought
we had something this time.
748
00:33:17,430 --> 00:33:20,955
On the bright side,
Esther loved my banana bread.
749
00:33:20,955 --> 00:33:23,131
It didn't go so well
with Maureen.
750
00:33:23,131 --> 00:33:25,220
Her dog ate
the whole plate of cookies,
751
00:33:25,220 --> 00:33:26,874
had to have her stomach pumped.
752
00:33:26,874 --> 00:33:28,571
But she'll be OK.
- Poor dog.
753
00:33:28,571 --> 00:33:31,226
No, Maureen had to have
her stomach pumped.
754
00:33:31,226 --> 00:33:35,752
Sorry, I--I forgot the part
about her OD'ing on Vicodin.
755
00:33:35,752 --> 00:33:36,927
You OK?
756
00:33:36,927 --> 00:33:38,233
If you must know,
757
00:33:38,233 --> 00:33:42,324
Lena and I have decided
to just be friends.
758
00:33:42,324 --> 00:33:43,804
Oh, no.
759
00:33:43,804 --> 00:33:45,371
I said I'm fine, deputy.
760
00:33:45,371 --> 00:33:49,766
Well, you can't just sit here
by yourself being sad.
761
00:33:49,766 --> 00:33:50,941
Come to dinner.
762
00:33:50,941 --> 00:33:53,074
I'm making John's favorite.
763
00:33:53,074 --> 00:33:54,945
- What are you having?
- Turkey meatloaf.
764
00:33:54,945 --> 00:33:57,774
Hard pass.
765
00:33:57,774 --> 00:34:02,170
♪ Ooh, oh, oh, oh
766
00:34:02,170 --> 00:34:09,003
♪ Oh, oh, oh
767
00:34:15,575 --> 00:34:17,403
You're funny when you sleep.
768
00:34:17,403 --> 00:34:18,578
This is you.
769
00:34:24,192 --> 00:34:26,542
- You didn't tie me up.
- Oh, I was going to.
770
00:34:26,542 --> 00:34:27,804
But then I thought,
771
00:34:27,804 --> 00:34:29,589
hybrid Greys would be
very strong.
772
00:34:29,589 --> 00:34:31,765
You would break
your restraints,
773
00:34:31,765 --> 00:34:34,811
and then you would have
probably broken my chair.
774
00:34:36,857 --> 00:34:38,902
Then I would have to fight you.
775
00:34:38,902 --> 00:34:40,991
And because I am also strong,
776
00:34:40,991 --> 00:34:43,124
I would throw you
across the room.
777
00:34:45,648 --> 00:34:47,607
And then you would break
my refrigerator.
778
00:34:50,305 --> 00:34:52,220
And the refrigerator repairman
779
00:34:52,220 --> 00:34:54,483
would probably be
overly talkative.
780
00:34:54,483 --> 00:34:57,225
Well, my real passion
is photography.
781
00:34:57,225 --> 00:34:59,662
I've--I got a film camera,
782
00:34:59,662 --> 00:35:02,361
which is drastically better
than digital.
783
00:35:02,361 --> 00:35:05,320
I--I like nature photography.
784
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,148
Do you like nature?
785
00:35:07,148 --> 00:35:08,758
I sometimes go on hikes,
786
00:35:08,758 --> 00:35:11,152
and I shoot the things
that I see.
787
00:35:11,152 --> 00:35:13,154
I like the chipmunks.
They're really cute.
788
00:35:13,154 --> 00:35:16,026
People seem to like the photos
of the chipmunks, you know.
789
00:35:16,026 --> 00:35:19,421
My--my mom really likes
the--the chipmunk photos.
790
00:35:20,814 --> 00:35:23,599
I have an alternate scenario,
if I may.
791
00:35:23,599 --> 00:35:25,166
Go ahead.
792
00:35:25,166 --> 00:35:26,515
We fight.
793
00:35:26,515 --> 00:35:28,691
You're strong,
but I am stronger,
794
00:35:28,691 --> 00:35:31,564
and I throw you
across the room.
795
00:35:35,350 --> 00:35:37,483
And then I step
on your stupid alien head
796
00:35:37,483 --> 00:35:39,876
and I kill you.
797
00:35:39,876 --> 00:35:41,574
Except I bite you!
798
00:35:50,844 --> 00:35:52,846
But the refrigerator repairman
799
00:35:52,846 --> 00:35:54,848
also works
for the glass company.
800
00:35:54,848 --> 00:35:59,679
I've shot at all the national
parks in Colorado--
801
00:35:59,679 --> 00:36:04,074
Mesa Verde. Rocky Mountain.
802
00:36:04,074 --> 00:36:07,817
Of course, Sand Dunes.
Sand Dunes is my favorite.
803
00:36:07,817 --> 00:36:09,428
I only shoot on film.
804
00:36:09,428 --> 00:36:10,777
Did I--did I mention that?
805
00:36:10,777 --> 00:36:13,214
I find
it's drastically better than--
806
00:36:13,214 --> 00:36:14,868
than digital.
807
00:36:14,868 --> 00:36:17,697
I do have to develop
my own film in my darkroom.
808
00:36:17,697 --> 00:36:19,873
But my mom's just upstairs,
809
00:36:19,873 --> 00:36:22,310
so sometimes,
she brings me snacks.
810
00:36:22,310 --> 00:36:26,880
I did go with my mom a few
years ago to--to Four Points.
811
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,448
It's where
the four states touch.
812
00:36:29,448 --> 00:36:31,667
I took a photo of her there.
813
00:36:31,667 --> 00:36:33,452
In every situation,
I just end up
814
00:36:33,452 --> 00:36:35,280
with a lot of sweeping to do
815
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:38,196
and learn more than I need to
about film photography.
816
00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:41,938
Now, what are the Grey aliens
doing here on Earth?
817
00:36:41,938 --> 00:36:43,897
If I told you,
you wouldn't understand.
818
00:36:43,897 --> 00:36:45,551
I would understand
better than you.
819
00:36:45,551 --> 00:36:47,074
You're a hybrid.
820
00:36:47,074 --> 00:36:50,033
You are half-human,
which means you're half-stupid.
821
00:36:50,033 --> 00:36:54,212
I am two halves not stupid.
822
00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:56,649
Yet neither of your halves
knows the Greys' plans,
823
00:36:56,649 --> 00:36:58,041
and my half does.
824
00:36:58,041 --> 00:37:00,305
Not the part about the trees.
825
00:37:00,305 --> 00:37:01,871
It knows all about the trees.
826
00:37:01,871 --> 00:37:04,396
Aha!
827
00:37:04,396 --> 00:37:06,267
There is no part
about the trees.
828
00:37:06,267 --> 00:37:07,703
I made that up.
829
00:37:07,703 --> 00:37:10,619
There's a part.
A whole tree thing.
830
00:37:10,619 --> 00:37:12,795
A whole pine and birch
scenario.
831
00:37:12,795 --> 00:37:15,102
They have not told you
anything, have they?
832
00:37:15,102 --> 00:37:16,886
You are nothing to the Greys.
833
00:37:16,886 --> 00:37:19,933
You're a circus monkey
that does tricks for food.
834
00:37:19,933 --> 00:37:22,065
What if I am?
What if I don't know anything?
835
00:37:22,065 --> 00:37:24,111
Why are you so happy about it?
I was your only hope.
836
00:37:24,111 --> 00:37:27,462
If I don't know anything,
your mission has failed.
837
00:37:27,462 --> 00:37:30,248
And so has yours.
You have to leave Patience now.
838
00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:31,466
Oh, why is that?
839
00:37:31,466 --> 00:37:35,078
Because I do not like
your square face.
840
00:37:35,078 --> 00:37:37,733
And if you do not leave,
I will tell the Greys
841
00:37:37,733 --> 00:37:39,735
how many humans know
you're an alien.
842
00:37:39,735 --> 00:37:41,998
Three of them are children.
843
00:37:41,998 --> 00:37:44,000
I do not think
they will let you live.
844
00:37:45,872 --> 00:37:48,004
I will leave
when I want to leave.
845
00:37:48,004 --> 00:37:51,530
Lucky for you,
I want to leave right now.
846
00:38:00,365 --> 00:38:02,105
You're leaving
because I told you to leave.
847
00:38:02,105 --> 00:38:03,324
Uh, no.
848
00:38:03,324 --> 00:38:04,978
I just happen
to want to leave so badly
849
00:38:04,978 --> 00:38:06,458
that I don't care about staying
just so you don't think
850
00:38:06,458 --> 00:38:08,024
that I'm leaving
because you told me to leave.
851
00:38:08,024 --> 00:38:10,984
The only thing I understood
in that was "leave."
852
00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:14,335
I'm leaving.
853
00:38:20,776 --> 00:38:22,343
Go ahead.
854
00:38:22,343 --> 00:38:24,302
I do not even care
about that one.
855
00:38:28,610 --> 00:38:30,917
It was my favorite.
856
00:38:45,801 --> 00:38:49,109
Ugh.
857
00:38:49,109 --> 00:38:51,241
Hello.
858
00:38:51,241 --> 00:38:54,375
Haven't heard from you
for a couple of days.
859
00:38:54,375 --> 00:38:56,246
How's everything going?
860
00:38:56,246 --> 00:38:59,337
Oh, I have it
all under control.
861
00:38:59,337 --> 00:39:01,817
Too much good to say
in one phone call.
862
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,482
You're not gonna tell him
about the Darling Project?
863
00:39:14,482 --> 00:39:19,618
That's strictly need to know,
and he doesn't.
864
00:39:19,618 --> 00:39:21,315
You can go.
865
00:39:27,277 --> 00:39:30,411
When someone you love
is taken away from you,
866
00:39:30,411 --> 00:39:32,979
everything changes.
867
00:39:32,979 --> 00:39:36,722
It is a loss
that stays with you forever.
868
00:39:41,509 --> 00:39:43,903
When I came to Earth,
I was unique.
869
00:39:43,903 --> 00:39:45,426
I was superior.
870
00:39:45,426 --> 00:39:48,342
But living as a human
is making me weaker.
871
00:39:48,342 --> 00:39:50,866
I am not
two halves smarter now.
872
00:39:50,866 --> 00:39:53,434
♪ Hitch up your saddle,
boy ♪
873
00:39:53,434 --> 00:39:54,740
♪ It's nothing
874
00:39:54,740 --> 00:39:57,438
Humans do stupid things
all the time.
875
00:39:59,135 --> 00:40:01,921
♪ All those things
I told you ♪
876
00:40:01,921 --> 00:40:05,272
♪ Still ringing in your head
877
00:40:05,272 --> 00:40:07,448
It is like
their national sport.
878
00:40:07,448 --> 00:40:10,495
♪ Shake that dust
off your boots ♪
879
00:40:10,495 --> 00:40:15,500
♪ And tip your hat
to the wind ♪
880
00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:18,459
Joseph is right.
I have failed my mission.
881
00:40:18,459 --> 00:40:21,157
I have failed to find out
why he's here.
882
00:40:21,157 --> 00:40:24,770
I wasted precious time on him
and put Asta in danger.
883
00:40:24,770 --> 00:40:29,122
I am not special. I am a...
884
00:40:29,122 --> 00:40:30,471
Hey, are you busy?
885
00:40:30,471 --> 00:40:33,605
Yes, I'm in the middle
of a thought.
886
00:40:33,605 --> 00:40:34,954
Failure.
887
00:40:38,958 --> 00:40:41,482
What do you want?
888
00:40:41,482 --> 00:40:43,397
Well, I was hoping
889
00:40:43,397 --> 00:40:45,051
that you could take a look
at my foot.
890
00:40:45,051 --> 00:40:48,968
No, sorry, I do not have
internet foot kink money.
891
00:40:48,968 --> 00:40:51,710
No, no, as a doctor.
892
00:40:51,710 --> 00:40:55,322
See I--see, I have this bump,
893
00:40:55,322 --> 00:40:59,152
and, yeah,
it's probably nothing,
894
00:40:59,152 --> 00:41:01,502
but I just want
to get it checked out.
895
00:41:01,502 --> 00:41:03,504
Where did you get this?
896
00:41:03,504 --> 00:41:05,158
Oh, I don't know.
897
00:41:05,158 --> 00:41:06,246
I've had it since I was a kid.
898
00:41:06,246 --> 00:41:07,508
Oh.
899
00:41:07,508 --> 00:41:09,205
I do know.
900
00:41:09,205 --> 00:41:12,339
This embedded chip means
he has been abducted by Greys.
901
00:41:12,339 --> 00:41:14,210
I have been trying to learn
what the Greys are doing
902
00:41:14,210 --> 00:41:16,212
on Earth, and perhaps
the answer has been
903
00:41:16,212 --> 00:41:19,041
in Mayor Snowflake's foot
all along.
904
00:41:19,041 --> 00:41:22,392
I need to hypnotize you.
905
00:41:22,392 --> 00:41:25,744
To determine the origin
of this disfiguration.
906
00:41:25,744 --> 00:41:28,181
Can't you just remove it?
907
00:41:28,181 --> 00:41:31,489
Yes, but we're
out of anesthetic.
908
00:41:31,489 --> 00:41:33,621
Hypnosis is fine.
909
00:41:33,621 --> 00:41:36,232
Listen only to the sound
of my voice.
910
00:41:36,232 --> 00:41:40,019
When you wake up, you will
remember nothing of this.
911
00:41:40,019 --> 00:41:42,500
But you will still pay me
for the hour.
912
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:45,851
Now, tell me everything
that you remember
913
00:41:45,851 --> 00:41:49,289
from your last abduction.
914
00:41:51,117 --> 00:41:55,077
There was...
915
00:41:55,077 --> 00:41:57,645
a lot of floating.
916
00:41:57,645 --> 00:42:00,387
Floating down a hallway.
917
00:42:00,387 --> 00:42:02,781
I'm cold. I hate it here.
918
00:42:02,781 --> 00:42:04,957
Oh, God, I feel sick.
919
00:42:04,957 --> 00:42:07,612
OK.
I don't care about--about that.
920
00:42:07,612 --> 00:42:09,875
Tell me something I can use.
921
00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:14,619
I'm passing a--
922
00:42:17,665 --> 00:42:19,711
I'm passing a doorway.
923
00:42:19,711 --> 00:42:21,887
What's through the doorway?
924
00:42:21,887 --> 00:42:25,064
I don't know.
I think there's a--
925
00:42:25,064 --> 00:42:26,674
I think there's a map.
926
00:42:26,674 --> 00:42:27,936
What is on the map?
927
00:42:27,936 --> 00:42:29,111
Mm.
928
00:42:29,111 --> 00:42:32,027
I can't--I can't see it.
929
00:42:32,027 --> 00:42:35,248
I--oh, God, I'm scared.
930
00:42:37,337 --> 00:42:39,426
Please, I--
I gotta get out of here.
931
00:42:39,426 --> 00:42:41,341
I don't want to be here.
I want to go home.
932
00:42:41,341 --> 00:42:42,864
I need you to listen to me.
933
00:42:42,864 --> 00:42:44,605
This is important.
934
00:42:44,605 --> 00:42:45,998
Just tell me what you see.
935
00:42:45,998 --> 00:42:47,521
What do you see?
936
00:42:47,521 --> 00:42:51,351
I need to know what these
beings are doing on Earth.
937
00:42:51,351 --> 00:42:52,700
There's all these shoes.
938
00:42:56,008 --> 00:42:58,837
There's all these
children's shoes.
939
00:42:58,837 --> 00:43:01,535
Oh.
940
00:43:01,535 --> 00:43:03,842
There's--there's something.
941
00:43:03,842 --> 00:43:08,324
It's a--a souvenir maybe?
942
00:43:08,324 --> 00:43:10,631
A snow globe that says...
943
00:43:13,416 --> 00:43:14,635
Yellowstone.
944
00:43:14,635 --> 00:43:17,377
Yellowstone?
945
00:43:19,335 --> 00:43:20,598
Yes.
946
00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:23,383
When I snap my fingers,
you will wake up
947
00:43:23,383 --> 00:43:25,864
and you will remember nothing.
948
00:43:25,864 --> 00:43:30,477
In three, two, one.