1
00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:03,916
Previously on "Resident Alien"...
2
00:00:03,916 --> 00:00:05,440
There are Grey-human
hybrids all over the Earth.
3
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:08,399
That's the man who shot
Peter Bach and my guards.
4
00:00:08,399 --> 00:00:10,445
We need to find out
what the Greys are up to.
5
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,186
The Greys' cavern is here.
6
00:00:12,186 --> 00:00:14,753
If they've connected it
to the magma chamber,
7
00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:16,929
the pressure would turn
Yellowstone National Park
8
00:00:16,929 --> 00:00:19,541
into the most destructive
natural bomb
9
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,543
in the history of the world.
10
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:23,980
- So how long till it blows up?
- Maybe a year.
11
00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:25,677
You broke galactic law.
12
00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:28,071
You are hereby ordered
to leave Earth immediately.
13
00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:29,855
Son of a bitch.
14
00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:32,380
That right there
is a fingerprint.
15
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:34,947
"Dr. Wendy Beasley,
retired military chemist."
16
00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:37,167
We did it!
We got a match!
17
00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:40,475
No, I chose last time.
18
00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:41,780
I want to go where
you want to go.
19
00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:43,391
- Uh-huh.
- Really.
20
00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:45,436
Okay.
Well, how about Antonio's?
21
00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:47,047
You think?
The pasta?
22
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:50,528
Okay, well, if you were me,
what would you want to eat?
23
00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:53,575
Well, you always
like Mexican.
24
00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:54,967
I do, don't I?
25
00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:57,231
Mm-hmm.
Mount Taco it is.
26
00:00:57,231 --> 00:00:58,580
Mount Taco.
27
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,974
- Have fun in the lab.
- Okay.
28
00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:12,115
Dr. Wendy Beasley,
please come to Lab 209.
29
00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,464
Dr. Wendy Beasley,
please come--
30
00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:15,771
- Aah!
31
00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:20,428
Gary?
32
00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:25,085
Open the door!
33
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:28,088
Somebody open the door!
Please.
34
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,699
- Help!
- Gary.
35
00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:33,005
Gary. Gary.
36
00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:34,833
Oh, my God.
37
00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:37,923
Oh, my God.
38
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,012
Oh, my God, Gary!
39
00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:42,058
No, no, no!
40
00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:44,104
Gary!
41
00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:57,421
They can't just
make you leave Earth.
42
00:01:57,421 --> 00:01:59,206
We will fight this summons.
43
00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:01,208
You do not understand.
44
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,123
The Galactic Federation
has referred this
45
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,256
to the Housing Council.
46
00:02:06,256 --> 00:02:08,084
I-it is over.
47
00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:10,130
Harry, you can't
just give up.
48
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,522
We need you here, okay?
49
00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:13,350
I don't give a shit
about this Housing Council.
50
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:14,786
- No.
- Mm!
51
00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:17,833
You cannot talk that way
about Housing Council.
52
00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,400
It is very dangerous.
53
00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,665
- Sorry, I didn't catch that.
- I can translate.
54
00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:25,449
It's mostly
about losing a hand.
55
00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:27,625
- Oh.
- Good choice.
56
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:29,758
What are you
doing with those?
57
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:33,762
Putting them where all
eviction notices go--the fire.
58
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:36,982
Oh, those--
those will not burn.
59
00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:39,463
They're not paper.
60
00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:41,509
What is it?
- Moldar skin.
61
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:42,771
Gross.
62
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:44,773
I'm vegan now.
- Moldar skin is not gross.
63
00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:47,558
Moldar-skin hats
are the best hats.
64
00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:50,213
Moldar skin--
try and rip it.
65
00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:52,389
You cannot.
66
00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:56,393
The processor is coming.
67
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,700
Try not to be distracted
by her pretty face.
68
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:03,661
Pubescent aliens hang holograms
of Blue Avians above their bed.
69
00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:05,185
I did.
70
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,711
Oh.
71
00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:14,150
You are a bird.
72
00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:17,022
No, no!
Damn it!
73
00:03:17,022 --> 00:03:19,503
Stupid portal.
74
00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:21,331
Sucks--I-I'm supposed to appear
75
00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:23,377
as the life forms
of my destination.
76
00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:25,814
Now I'm breaking galactic law.
Great.
77
00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:28,251
You do not need to appear
as a human.
78
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:30,514
You are perfect
the way you are.
79
00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,690
Thanks, but this thing
has been touchy
80
00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:35,127
ever since some idiot
from probate tried
81
00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:36,477
to sneak fruit through it.
82
00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:37,869
Why can't you take fruit?
83
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:40,394
That's the question
you're asking right now?
84
00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:43,310
Look, just give me
the signed papers, okay?
85
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:45,050
And then the Housing Council
is going to come,
86
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,357
and they're going to collect
you for eviction.
87
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,533
You smell woodsy.
I will sign them.
88
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,622
- Please, Mrs. Bird--
- Oh, no.
89
00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:53,058
Don't come at me
with "Mrs. Bird."
90
00:03:53,058 --> 00:03:56,236
My Earth name is Heather.
- Oh, rhymes with feather.
91
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,760
Yeah. It does.
92
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,023
Wish someone had told me that
when I picked it.
93
00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:04,896
Heather, Harry is
here to save our planet.
94
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:08,465
So, if you could just look
the other way on this one...
95
00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:11,251
You know I get paid
by the job, right?
96
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,991
And how would I know that?
97
00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:15,516
Well, look,
if you want the papers,
98
00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:17,387
they're over there
on the floor.
99
00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:19,171
- Okay.
100
00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,869
Don't worry, I'll grab them.
101
00:04:20,869 --> 00:04:22,523
I'll just go get them
off the floor
102
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:23,872
like a friggin' pigeon.
103
00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:28,920
- Oh, no, no, no!
104
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,096
Oh, no!
both: Oh.
105
00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:32,968
Terrible news.
106
00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:35,971
Yeah, I can tell you two are
really, really upset about it,
107
00:04:35,971 --> 00:04:38,452
but this sucks for me, okay?
108
00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:40,715
Because now I have to call
the repair guy,
109
00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:42,412
and he's going to take forever.
110
00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:45,067
And then he's going
to have to order parts,
111
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:46,547
which will take forever.
112
00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:50,115
And so, basically, I'm stuck
on the shittiest planet
113
00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:51,508
in the galaxy.
114
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,641
No offense--
I see your mouths are agape
115
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,686
at me saying
"shittiest planet."
116
00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:56,600
Sorry.
117
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,820
I need to use the bathroom.
118
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:01,083
Uh, do we put down
a newspaper or something?
119
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,606
It's to change, you dick.
120
00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:05,740
It is down the hall
on your right.
121
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,960
I hope I put the seat down.
122
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,180
I just saved the world
with a banana.
123
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,616
How was your day?
- Yeah, you did.
124
00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:15,445
It was the best one.
125
00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:17,404
It was the perfect
amount of ripe.
126
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,970
So, question--
127
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:22,974
um, can any of you recommend
a hotel around here?
128
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:26,630
Something mid-range, preferably
where you can earn miles?
129
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:29,503
Huh.
I see Heather now.
130
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,468
Hey.
131
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:40,862
You're up early.
- Yeah.
132
00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,472
Still can't sleep.
133
00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:44,387
Up half the night
feeling terrified,
134
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:45,867
and I don't know why.
- Oh.
135
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:49,914
But I was thinking,
sometimes you're stressed.
136
00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:51,002
All the time.
137
00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,526
- A lot of the time.
- Every day.
138
00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:54,397
But not when
you're making candles--
139
00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,312
because you have
a creative outlet.
140
00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:59,271
And I haven't picked up my
sketchbook in a while, I know,
141
00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:02,492
but I think I'm going to do
a children's book.
142
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,059
Oh, that's a great idea.
143
00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:05,669
You know, when I was a kid,
144
00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:09,325
I always wanted a book with
a baby elephant and a monkey.
145
00:06:09,325 --> 00:06:11,196
- Oh, that's sweet.
- Yeah.
146
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:13,677
- This isn't that.
- Got it.
147
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,897
Well, can I see?
- Eh...
148
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:19,204
I-I think I'd rather just
wait till it's finished.
149
00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:21,859
Okay.
Say no more.
150
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,426
Mm-hmm.
151
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:26,168
But if there is
a baby elephant--
152
00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:30,477
- There's not.
- Two words--sailor's cap.
153
00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:32,217
Think about it.
154
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:35,786
Now, why would a
well-respected military chemist
155
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:37,135
end up living way out here
156
00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:39,442
like some kind
of creepy-ass fairy-tale witch?
157
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:42,445
They say she kind of lost it
after she saw her husband die
158
00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,752
in a lab accident.
- A lab accident?
159
00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:46,667
You saying we could be facing
a super villain?
160
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,756
Um, no, I was not.
161
00:06:48,756 --> 00:06:51,411
Okay, 'cause I can't be
facing a super villain,
162
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,890
not while I'm trying
to figure out
163
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,631
what happened
to my best deputy.
164
00:06:54,631 --> 00:06:55,937
Now, tell me again what you saw
165
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:58,418
when you went
by Joseph's house, exactly.
166
00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,854
Okay, we're definitely
going to get
167
00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:02,204
back to the best-deputy part.
168
00:07:02,204 --> 00:07:04,336
I told you, it was empty.
169
00:07:04,336 --> 00:07:06,034
He's gone.
170
00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:07,427
Isn't that suspicious?
171
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,733
He's army recon.
He wouldn't just quit.
172
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,605
What's even
more suspicious is,
173
00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,476
right when we're looking
for another deputy,
174
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:15,478
the perfect candidate
just shows up.
175
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:16,827
That's how it works
for handsome people.
176
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,438
Happens to me all the time.
177
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,397
Every job I ever got didn't
even exist until I wanted it.
178
00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:24,226
The job of sheriff existed
before you had it, sir.
179
00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:26,750
Yeah, but it was the day
I said to myself,
180
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,143
it'd be nice to be sheriff,
181
00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:30,450
that old Sheriff Hawthorne up
and died.
182
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,190
Now, did I kill him?
Maybe.
183
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:34,758
Luckily, you can't be arrested
for your thoughts...
184
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:36,107
yet.
185
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:37,892
But I'm working on it.
186
00:07:37,892 --> 00:07:41,461
What if we fake
Harry's death?
187
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,637
Can't get evicted
if you're dead.
188
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:46,509
I have no choice
but to leave Earth.
189
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,729
We have been brainstorming
all morning.
190
00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:52,950
The storm has stopped,
and now there is just mud.
191
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:54,386
Hey, guys.
192
00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:55,953
Asta, I'm going to see you
at Drew's party tomorrow?
193
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:57,912
Yes.
Of course I'll be there.
194
00:07:57,912 --> 00:08:01,872
Is that a pie?
I need it for my trip.
195
00:08:01,872 --> 00:08:03,918
It is a pie,
but it's not for you.
196
00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:06,050
It's for my paralegal.
- Oh.
197
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:09,053
Hey, hypothetically, say your
friend was getting evicted--
198
00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:11,447
Is this the same
friend as last time?
199
00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:13,144
By the way,
you still owe me $200.
200
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:15,233
Uh, without names,
201
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:18,889
say you wanted to stop
the hypothetical eviction.
202
00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:21,370
My first piece of legal
advice would be not to co-sign
203
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,632
a lease with this one.
- Okay.
204
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,286
I just--Can we--
- Noted.
205
00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:25,896
But for your other friend,
206
00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:29,683
I would say maybe just wait
it out or possibly countersue.
207
00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,119
What are you doing?
208
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,644
It was like that.
209
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,908
You're countersuing?
210
00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:40,911
Do you even realize
how much paperwork that is?
211
00:08:40,911 --> 00:08:44,698
Guess I can say goodbye to my
timeshare on Lesser Antares.
212
00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:46,830
Oh, I am sorry.
213
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:49,833
Lesser Antares is very pretty.
- Yeah.
214
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:52,053
I have Moldar-skin pants
from there.
215
00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:53,228
Me too.
216
00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:55,796
They're so durable.
217
00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:57,580
You ever try ripping
them in half?
218
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,190
both: ♪ You cannot
219
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,545
Hey, no one's ever taken on
the Housing Council before.
220
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,850
What's going on with you?
221
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:09,549
You some kind of bad boy
or something?
222
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,594
Yep, I'm a bad boy.
223
00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:16,207
Oh.
224
00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:17,861
I don't care about it.
225
00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:20,298
I'm not even a real doctor.
226
00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:22,213
Ooh, that is bad.
227
00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:23,606
I killed a man.
228
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:26,174
You what?
229
00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:28,045
He was evil.
230
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:31,222
I saw him kick a seagull.
231
00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:33,616
- Oh.
- And stole its French fry.
232
00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:36,097
- Uh-uh.
- So I killed him.
233
00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:40,754
It's nice to talk
to a-another alien.
234
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:44,235
If you are going to be
235
00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:45,889
in Patience for a while,
236
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:48,413
maybe I could show
you around town.
237
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:51,025
We have a pizza place!
- I don't like pizza.
238
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:53,941
Oh, I hate pizza.
We are the same.
239
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:55,682
Thanks, but I think
I'm just going to head
240
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:56,944
back to the hotel.
241
00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:59,599
My back has been killing me
for some reason.
242
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,166
It is the human bed--
243
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,428
so primitive.
244
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,343
I miss my Trixian saliva bed.
245
00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:06,910
Wait, you're kidding me?
246
00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,825
I didn't know you
could still get those.
247
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:10,827
Bad boys can.
248
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:15,658
I could look at you in the
exam room, help your back.
249
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,834
We could talk
about spit blankets.
250
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:20,097
Okay.
251
00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:27,931
Nurse, uh, make Heather
more comfortable.
252
00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:30,847
Get--get--get a blanket
and spit on it.
253
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:33,676
I will get her a blanket,
but I am not doing that.
254
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:42,772
I am sorry for the primitive
nature of Earth medicine.
255
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:45,557
This is how they
listen to your heart.
256
00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:49,866
Why not get two soup cans
and connect them with string?
257
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:51,781
Oh.
258
00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:55,393
Oh, uh...
I can hear that you are dying.
259
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,713
Uh, please remove your jacket.
260
00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:22,812
Everything okay back there?
261
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:24,988
Is she electric?
262
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,469
I am buzzing,
and my knees are melting.
263
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:30,820
I fell.
264
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,996
I was--
Something bit me.
265
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:35,607
Oh. Sorry.
It's probably a mite.
266
00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:38,132
Or as you might say it...
267
00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:41,831
.
268
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:47,707
You speak...
269
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,622
Yeah, of course I do.
270
00:11:50,622 --> 00:11:54,017
It's one of the most beautiful
languages in the universe.
271
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:56,150
She is perfect in every way.
272
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,543
I have a strange desire
to smell her.
273
00:11:58,543 --> 00:11:59,806
That would be weird.
274
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,851
I bet she smells
like a feather pillow
275
00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:03,331
locked in a hot car.
276
00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:08,771
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
277
00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:12,775
Me?
278
00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:14,559
All right.
279
00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:17,258
This--this is for you.
280
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:22,263
Thank you.
281
00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:23,481
Oh.
282
00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:28,269
- What the hell were you doing?
- I don't know.
283
00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:32,360
My knees are weak,
and my palms are sweating.
284
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,754
I know what this is.
285
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,365
I have seen this
in human movies.
286
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,628
I am in love.
287
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:41,673
What?
No, you just met her.
288
00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:44,024
I love--I love her.
289
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,852
- Shh.
- I cannot help it.
290
00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:48,550
I feel l-love for her.
291
00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:51,031
It's--it's like how I feel love
for you, Asta,
292
00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:52,249
but it is different.
293
00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:55,035
It is not just in my head
or in my heart,
294
00:12:55,035 --> 00:12:56,688
but it is in my pants.
295
00:12:56,688 --> 00:12:58,081
Oh.
296
00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:00,083
Is that why they
call it "in love"
297
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:02,129
because it is in your pants?
298
00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:04,827
Harry?
You coming back?
299
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,568
My legs.
300
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,178
Okay.
301
00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,981
- Dr. Beasley?
- Who are you?
302
00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:31,506
We want to talk to you about
the alien tracker, Peter Bach.
303
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,421
Peter Bach is dead.
304
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:37,251
We know that.
305
00:13:37,251 --> 00:13:39,340
We believe he was murdered.
306
00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:45,563
I miss her.
307
00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,957
Do--do you think she misses me?
308
00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:51,091
I-I-I realize that your
first crush is...
309
00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:52,875
- Uh, everything.
310
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,530
But--but we are trying
to save the world,
311
00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:57,227
you and me, you know?
312
00:13:57,227 --> 00:14:00,448
A-and you can't be distracted
by a relationship right now.
313
00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:02,624
My heart...
314
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,670
It sweats.
315
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:07,324
Huh?
316
00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:10,806
What heat remains
in my chest.
317
00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:12,460
And poetry.
318
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:16,116
You are a light
in the blackout.
319
00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:17,552
Oh, boy.
320
00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:20,250
I'd like to touch you
where the eggs pop out.
321
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,035
Yeah.
322
00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:25,821
It's titled "Bird Boner."
323
00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:31,827
Why don't you take a seat?
324
00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:33,873
Standing there,
it's making me uncomfortable.
325
00:14:40,183 --> 00:14:42,229
We're here because
we found your fingerprints
326
00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:43,491
in Peter's van.
327
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,667
You have the van?
Where is it?
328
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,538
Why is the van important?
329
00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:49,932
It--it doesn't matter.
You won't believe me.
330
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,629
And if you do,
they'll get to you,
331
00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:53,196
and they will tell you
that I'm crazy.
332
00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:54,763
But I know what I saw,
333
00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:55,938
and I know what happened
to my husband,
334
00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:57,809
and it wasn't
a goddamn gas leak,
335
00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,899
and it wasn't made by humans.
336
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:04,512
I see you.
337
00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:07,036
You think that I don't know
that look?
338
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:10,126
You need to leave.
339
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:13,913
Um, I saw a UFO...
340
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,958
when I was a kid.
341
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:18,526
Everyone said I made it up
for attention.
342
00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:22,660
And Peter was the only one
who has ever believed me.
343
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:26,490
I need to find out
what happened, please.
344
00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:29,145
Peter trusted me.
So can you.
345
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,629
- Do you have the key?
- The van key?
346
00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:35,978
I got it right here.
347
00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:41,418
If Peter trusted you, he
would have given you the key.
348
00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:45,335
Get out.
349
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:05,399
Let me guess--still filling
out your college application?
350
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:08,271
- These essays are stupid.
351
00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,012
Look,
I don't even want to go,
352
00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:12,101
but my mom thinks college
will give me options, so...
353
00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:14,016
Ah, options are good.
I didn't have many.
354
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,410
I ended up living
with my dad till my 30s.
355
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:19,195
Yeah. And that's why
I'm still single.
356
00:16:21,632 --> 00:16:24,548
"How has your family
history shaped your life?"
357
00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:26,333
That's fun.
358
00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:28,204
I'm adopted.
359
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:30,902
Hmm.
Right.
360
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:33,035
Yeah.
And so are you.
361
00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:34,428
So I don't know my family
362
00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:36,212
because you
don't know your family.
363
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,475
So, apparently, only people
with enormous family trees
364
00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:39,563
get to go to college.
365
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:42,044
The system is corrupt.
366
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:43,437
I can't be a part of it.
367
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:45,917
You're a part of our family.
368
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:48,572
Yeah, but I'm not, like,
a blood relative.
369
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:52,098
So it's--it's not really
the same thing.
370
00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:56,232
Have you taken her
to the rez yet?
371
00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:57,973
Not yet.
372
00:16:57,973 --> 00:16:59,409
It's settled.
373
00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:01,542
You're coming to Drew's party.
374
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,587
Time to meet your whole family.
375
00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:04,936
You wanted a family tree,
376
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:07,765
you got yourself
a whole forest.
377
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:09,811
This model
of the Yellowstone caldera
378
00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:12,205
will help me figure out
the Greys' plan.
379
00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:14,859
I have to present my findings
to the general tomorrow,
380
00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:16,339
and I still do not know
381
00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:19,081
why the Greys want to blow up
the super volcano.
382
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:22,171
If I can find the answer,
I bet it will impress Heather.
383
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:25,305
I wonder if her feathers
are soft.
384
00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:29,135
Oh, shit, I did it again!
385
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:31,398
This is what Asta
was talking about.
386
00:17:31,398 --> 00:17:34,096
Even thinking about her
is interrupting my work.
387
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:37,578
Maybe if I call Heather and
hear her voice, it will help,
388
00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:40,233
like when I am hungry
and eat just one potato chip.
389
00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:42,278
Yeah.
390
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:46,630
Hello, Harry.
391
00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:52,854
Aah!
392
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:57,728
Nope, nope, nope.
393
00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:05,127
Uh, Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle
speaking.
394
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:07,390
It's Heather.
You just called me.
395
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,305
Nope.
Nope, I'm--
396
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,828
You called me.
397
00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:13,701
Because you called me.
398
00:18:13,701 --> 00:18:16,312
It's fine.
I was going to call you anyway.
399
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:17,792
You were?
400
00:18:17,792 --> 00:18:19,968
I mean--
401
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:21,230
What about?
402
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:23,450
I found this hole
with a little bump in it
403
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,016
on my stomach,
404
00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:27,236
and I've never been nude
in human form
405
00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:28,368
long enough to notice it.
406
00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:30,370
What is it for?
407
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:34,330
The reason is gross.
I threw up when I found out.
408
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:37,986
Humans grow babies
inside of their bodies.
409
00:18:37,986 --> 00:18:39,074
Oh.
410
00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:40,902
And then they come
out of that bump?
411
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:44,862
No. Although, the reality
is not much better.
412
00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:47,126
Okay.
I'm going to hang up.
413
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,867
I want to go back to exploring
every single inch of my body.
414
00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:52,609
I will never be able
to work again.
415
00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:54,089
My knees.
416
00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:12,934
Elliot, hi.
417
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:14,631
Hi.
418
00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:16,067
Laundry day.
419
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:18,200
Fun times, yeah.
420
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,942
Uh, how are you doing?
- I'm good.
421
00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:22,552
It's good to see you.
422
00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:23,597
Hi.
423
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:26,861
This is Natalie.
424
00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:29,168
Natalie, this is D'Arcy.
- Hey.
425
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,561
Oh, you're D'Arcy.
426
00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:33,302
Hi.
427
00:19:33,302 --> 00:19:36,958
Oh, you're Natalie.
Of course.
428
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:47,577
- How have you been?
- Oh, I've been great.
429
00:19:47,577 --> 00:19:48,752
So good.
430
00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:50,798
Yeah, I've been doing stuff,
big stuff.
431
00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:53,104
This morning I had
a crazy thing happen--
432
00:19:53,104 --> 00:19:54,323
before laundry--
433
00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:57,326
where I did this huge thing.
434
00:19:57,326 --> 00:20:01,025
I can't tell you what it is,
but pretty major.
435
00:20:01,025 --> 00:20:03,593
Um, kind of top secret, but...
436
00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:06,944
I'd say, without me,
the world would be over.
437
00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:08,772
Lots of people saved.
438
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:11,471
Banana was involved.
439
00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:13,255
Okay, well, it was nice
meeting you,
440
00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:15,779
but we should probably go.
- Yeah, I got to go too.
441
00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:21,872
Got to fold this stuff, so...
442
00:20:32,056 --> 00:20:34,276
Therefore,
the Greys will harness
443
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:37,714
the intense natural power
of the caldera--
444
00:20:37,714 --> 00:20:41,805
not unlike the intense
natural power of love.
445
00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:44,068
Oh, so intense and strong,
446
00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:47,550
and you can't let it
get away...
447
00:20:47,550 --> 00:20:50,727
just like you cannot let the--
the Greys get away
448
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:53,904
with setting off
a super--super volcano
449
00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:56,080
and destroying,
450
00:20:56,080 --> 00:21:00,171
uh, all humanity on Earth.
451
00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:01,825
Boom.
452
00:21:03,653 --> 00:21:05,612
How does an alien species
dig an underground cavern
453
00:21:05,612 --> 00:21:07,527
in the middle
of a national park for 80 years
454
00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:09,268
and we don't know about it?
455
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,661
I can take that one.
456
00:21:11,661 --> 00:21:13,141
Humans are stupid.
457
00:21:13,141 --> 00:21:14,273
How do we know this alien
458
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,752
isn't working
with the other aliens?
459
00:21:15,752 --> 00:21:17,363
How do I know
this general isn't working
460
00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:18,668
with the other generals?
461
00:21:18,668 --> 00:21:20,409
I am working
with the other generals.
462
00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:23,325
- He admits it!
- Stop.
463
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:25,240
He's one of the most
intelligent beings
464
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,415
on this planet.
465
00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:28,765
We need his help
to find a solution
466
00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:32,639
to what might be the biggest
problem humans will ever face.
467
00:21:32,639 --> 00:21:36,730
That problem is, how do you
get them to love you back?
468
00:21:36,730 --> 00:21:38,775
Let's toss that around.
There's no wrong answers.
469
00:21:38,775 --> 00:21:43,258
I was talking about the swarm
of Grey hybrids at Yellowstone.
470
00:21:43,258 --> 00:21:45,129
Oh, okay.
471
00:21:45,129 --> 00:21:47,175
We'll do the love thing next.
472
00:21:47,175 --> 00:21:48,437
I recommend full assault--
473
00:21:48,437 --> 00:21:51,135
shockwave tasers,
mass electrocution.
474
00:21:51,135 --> 00:21:53,877
Oh, that's a terrible idea.
475
00:21:53,877 --> 00:21:55,488
If you attack the hybrids,
476
00:21:55,488 --> 00:21:57,403
then the Greys will just freeze
your soldiers
477
00:21:57,403 --> 00:21:59,056
and kill them all.
478
00:21:59,056 --> 00:22:01,972
- You can't sit and do nothing.
- Because love will go away.
479
00:22:01,972 --> 00:22:05,149
Thank you. That is one vote
for saying "I love you."
480
00:22:05,149 --> 00:22:07,238
He was talking
about the Greys.
481
00:22:07,238 --> 00:22:09,850
Oh, I need time
to figure out the plan.
482
00:22:09,850 --> 00:22:11,982
You have one week.
483
00:22:11,982 --> 00:22:13,549
Then we're moving in.
484
00:22:18,815 --> 00:22:21,557
all: Hey!
485
00:22:21,557 --> 00:22:24,038
- Mark, Dan.
- Hey.
486
00:22:24,038 --> 00:22:25,169
- Asta.
- Hi.
487
00:22:25,169 --> 00:22:27,084
And Jay, right?
- Yeah.
488
00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:29,304
Jay, these are
all your relations.
489
00:22:29,304 --> 00:22:31,567
This is your second cousin,
Sampson and Will.
490
00:22:31,567 --> 00:22:33,656
- Hi.
- Your cousin Peter.
491
00:22:33,656 --> 00:22:36,093
Kayla's sister Rachel.
- Hi.
492
00:22:36,093 --> 00:22:37,617
- Auntie Mena.
- Hi.
493
00:22:37,617 --> 00:22:40,881
Auntie Louise
and Grandma Ruth.
494
00:22:40,881 --> 00:22:43,362
And the happy couple,
Drew and Manuel.
495
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:44,667
- Hi.
- Hi.
496
00:22:44,667 --> 00:22:47,757
Thanks. It's really nice
to meet all of you.
497
00:22:47,757 --> 00:22:50,412
I think I might need to go
over the names once or twice.
498
00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:54,068
My girl, let's go get you
some buffalo stew.
499
00:22:54,068 --> 00:22:56,418
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
500
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,816
Oh, so handsome.
501
00:23:02,816 --> 00:23:05,862
- Thank you.
- Look at this--nice bling.
502
00:23:05,862 --> 00:23:08,604
Don't be jealous just because
you don't got a medallion yet.
503
00:23:08,604 --> 00:23:10,824
Wait, what about, um,
your short king, Harry?
504
00:23:10,824 --> 00:23:12,478
Where's your boyfriend Harry?
505
00:23:12,478 --> 00:23:13,740
Stop.
No. Stop it.
506
00:23:13,740 --> 00:23:15,742
- Where's boyfriend Harry?
- Oh, hey. Hey.
507
00:23:18,092 --> 00:23:19,702
I heard it was a tractor.
508
00:23:19,702 --> 00:23:21,791
Nuh-uh.
I heard it was a helicopter.
509
00:23:21,791 --> 00:23:23,663
Dewey said
it was a monster truck.
510
00:23:23,663 --> 00:23:25,055
What are we talking about?
511
00:23:25,055 --> 00:23:27,449
Trying to guess what
Liv and that sheriff
512
00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:29,625
have hidden on the rez.
- What?
513
00:23:29,625 --> 00:23:31,932
They're all wrong.
It's a van.
514
00:23:31,932 --> 00:23:34,413
They're trying to get
fingerprints.
515
00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:37,851
Interesting, a van.
516
00:23:37,851 --> 00:23:39,330
Where exactly?
517
00:23:41,071 --> 00:23:43,422
You saw Dr. Beasley
when you mentioned the van?
518
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:44,771
We might not have the key,
519
00:23:44,771 --> 00:23:47,774
but there has to be
something we missed--
520
00:23:47,774 --> 00:23:49,428
like a keyhole?
521
00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:50,994
I may not trust
the forest doctor,
522
00:23:50,994 --> 00:23:53,083
but I do trust
your instincts, Deputy,
523
00:23:53,083 --> 00:23:56,391
and something's definitely
off with this van.
524
00:23:56,391 --> 00:23:57,566
What do you see?
525
00:23:57,566 --> 00:23:59,568
Well, this is
a 255-horsepower,
526
00:23:59,568 --> 00:24:02,745
5.4-liter
V-8 E350 cargo van, right?
527
00:24:02,745 --> 00:24:05,269
My buddy Roger,
he's got this exact model.
528
00:24:05,269 --> 00:24:09,752
Everything in here is standard
except for this flooring.
529
00:24:09,752 --> 00:24:12,059
See, this is
aftermarket black PVC
530
00:24:12,059 --> 00:24:13,582
thermoplastic lining, right?
531
00:24:13,582 --> 00:24:16,019
Now, I think we need
to get this lining out.
532
00:24:16,019 --> 00:24:17,760
We gonna find
what we're looking for.
533
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:19,458
So I'm going to
need a few things.
534
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:20,589
I'm going to need a crowbar.
535
00:24:20,589 --> 00:24:22,504
We need a half gallon
of muriatic acid.
536
00:24:22,504 --> 00:24:24,637
I'm going to need, like,
nine strips of firecrackers,
537
00:24:24,637 --> 00:24:26,856
the little ones, though,
not the M80s.
538
00:24:26,856 --> 00:24:30,077
Although I will need
16 of those.
539
00:24:30,077 --> 00:24:33,515
Found it.
540
00:24:33,515 --> 00:24:36,736
Well, well, well,
we got ourselves a keyhole.
541
00:24:36,736 --> 00:24:38,128
Huh.
542
00:24:38,128 --> 00:24:41,001
Once again, I have followed
your instincts
543
00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:42,959
and led us to victory.
544
00:24:42,959 --> 00:24:44,874
- Okay.
- Mm.
545
00:24:50,227 --> 00:24:52,012
If I have learned one thing
546
00:24:52,012 --> 00:24:54,014
from meeting
with the generals,
547
00:24:54,014 --> 00:24:55,711
it is that mating is like war.
548
00:24:55,711 --> 00:24:57,408
You cannot sit around
and wait.
549
00:24:57,408 --> 00:24:58,758
You have to take action.
550
00:24:58,758 --> 00:25:00,499
Do it.
551
00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:02,457
She's the one in the jacket.
552
00:25:04,764 --> 00:25:06,983
I think I know
which one she is.
553
00:25:09,986 --> 00:25:12,336
Oh, God, wait,
I changed my mind.
554
00:25:16,166 --> 00:25:19,169
What did she say?
She's looking over here.
555
00:25:22,782 --> 00:25:24,827
"Are there
any doctors in town
556
00:25:24,827 --> 00:25:26,089
"you like more than a friend?
557
00:25:26,089 --> 00:25:28,135
Circle yes, no, maybe."
558
00:25:28,135 --> 00:25:30,311
Did she say anything?
You got to tell me everything.
559
00:25:30,311 --> 00:25:33,270
Oh, she's com--she's coming.
Go, go, go.
560
00:25:35,664 --> 00:25:37,318
Harry, hey.
561
00:25:39,059 --> 00:25:41,409
Um, I'm really flattered.
562
00:25:41,409 --> 00:25:42,845
It worked.
563
00:25:42,845 --> 00:25:46,066
But, uh, you can't have
feelings for me.
564
00:25:46,066 --> 00:25:48,242
Your species has no emotions.
565
00:25:48,242 --> 00:25:51,027
I do.
I-it's the human in me.
566
00:25:51,027 --> 00:25:52,899
You ate a human?
567
00:25:52,899 --> 00:25:55,728
No.
568
00:25:55,728 --> 00:25:57,860
I mean, the DNA.
569
00:25:57,860 --> 00:25:59,514
Got it.
570
00:25:59,514 --> 00:26:02,038
Because I was going to ask you
how they, you know...
571
00:26:02,038 --> 00:26:03,823
- Taste?
- Mm-hmm.
572
00:26:03,823 --> 00:26:06,913
I don't know.
573
00:26:06,913 --> 00:26:11,918
Probably like chick--
like, uh...
574
00:26:11,918 --> 00:26:13,920
You were going
to say "chicken" just now.
575
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,182
- I wasn't, no.
- Uh, you were.
576
00:26:15,182 --> 00:26:18,881
I was going to say
"ChapStick."
577
00:26:18,881 --> 00:26:22,624
It's a tasty...
578
00:26:22,624 --> 00:26:25,192
stick of wax.
579
00:26:25,192 --> 00:26:27,411
Oh, I know.
I've eaten quite a few of them.
580
00:26:28,891 --> 00:26:30,632
Yeah.
581
00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:32,982
You're great.
- Thank you.
582
00:26:34,505 --> 00:26:38,945
Your kind is usually so cold,
and you are so different.
583
00:26:38,945 --> 00:26:42,644
You're a lot--a lot different.
584
00:26:44,690 --> 00:26:49,172
It's just--I'm only hanging out
here until the portal is fixed.
585
00:26:49,172 --> 00:26:52,741
So what would be the point,
as they say?
586
00:26:54,003 --> 00:26:56,963
So let's just be friends.
587
00:27:00,444 --> 00:27:03,665
I understand.
588
00:27:03,665 --> 00:27:07,669
Yes, let's just be friends.
589
00:27:07,669 --> 00:27:09,976
Okay.
590
00:27:09,976 --> 00:27:14,110
So you're circling no?
591
00:27:14,110 --> 00:27:15,982
I would love to circle "yes,"
592
00:27:15,982 --> 00:27:18,158
but it's not--
that's not feasible.
593
00:27:18,158 --> 00:27:20,073
Right.
594
00:27:20,073 --> 00:27:23,076
Friends.
595
00:27:26,427 --> 00:27:29,648
Yeah.
596
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:32,912
That's really all I want...
597
00:27:32,912 --> 00:27:35,654
is friendship.
598
00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:37,699
Great.
599
00:27:37,699 --> 00:27:40,441
I want to die.
600
00:27:48,144 --> 00:27:50,320
Thanks for showing
us so much love.
601
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,759
All right, this next tune is
going out to our happy couple,
602
00:27:53,759 --> 00:27:55,195
Drew and Manuel.
603
00:27:57,719 --> 00:27:59,721
Thank you.
604
00:28:10,601 --> 00:28:13,735
♪ Long time ago,
we had some dough ♪
605
00:28:13,735 --> 00:28:16,172
♪ Needed to unwind
606
00:28:17,521 --> 00:28:19,654
♪ Looking for trouble,
looking for fun... ♪
607
00:28:19,654 --> 00:28:21,395
Harry, I have called you
five times.
608
00:28:21,395 --> 00:28:22,918
Where are you?
609
00:28:22,918 --> 00:28:24,833
Mike and Liv have been stashing
the alien tracker van
610
00:28:24,833 --> 00:28:26,400
on the rez.
611
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:28,881
Who knows if there's any
traces of your DNA in there?
612
00:28:28,881 --> 00:28:31,579
You need to call me back.
613
00:28:31,579 --> 00:28:33,755
Bye.
614
00:28:33,755 --> 00:28:37,411
Don't tell Drew, but I think
Grams has a new favorite.
615
00:28:37,411 --> 00:28:39,500
I always knew
they'd get along.
616
00:28:41,894 --> 00:28:43,547
What?
What's wrong?
617
00:28:43,547 --> 00:28:47,856
Nothing. I'm--I'm so happy
she's here.
618
00:28:47,856 --> 00:28:51,251
I just--I wish when I was 16,
619
00:28:51,251 --> 00:28:53,340
I could have looked ahead
and seen all this,
620
00:28:53,340 --> 00:28:55,646
and then I would have known
that if I had held on to her,
621
00:28:55,646 --> 00:28:57,692
everything
would have been all right.
622
00:28:57,692 --> 00:29:00,564
That 16-year-old gave up
the most precious thing
623
00:29:00,564 --> 00:29:02,131
in her life.
624
00:29:02,131 --> 00:29:04,177
I can't imagine
how that must have hurt.
625
00:29:04,177 --> 00:29:06,962
But you did it because you knew
with everything going on
626
00:29:06,962 --> 00:29:10,226
in your life at that time that
it was the best thing for Jay.
627
00:29:10,226 --> 00:29:12,489
Right.
628
00:29:14,970 --> 00:29:16,276
Come on.
629
00:29:16,276 --> 00:29:18,582
- You want to dance?
- Oh, I do.
630
00:29:27,417 --> 00:29:29,376
Hi.
631
00:29:38,124 --> 00:29:40,039
♪ Hey, baby
632
00:29:42,128 --> 00:29:44,217
♪ My baby
633
00:29:46,306 --> 00:29:49,613
♪ Where are you tonight?
634
00:29:53,269 --> 00:29:55,228
♪ Hey, baby
635
00:29:57,273 --> 00:29:58,840
♪ My baby
636
00:30:01,321 --> 00:30:04,890
♪ Where are you tonight?
637
00:30:04,890 --> 00:30:06,065
Oh.
638
00:30:47,758 --> 00:30:50,457
I told you
not to look at that.
639
00:30:50,457 --> 00:30:52,415
Whoops, that's
not my checkbook.
640
00:30:52,415 --> 00:30:54,330
How much did you see?
641
00:30:54,330 --> 00:30:56,376
Only the scary parts.
642
00:30:56,376 --> 00:30:58,900
There are no scary parts.
It's a children's book.
643
00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:00,075
Hey, what's this?
644
00:31:00,075 --> 00:31:01,772
Oh, no, Max, don't.
645
00:31:01,772 --> 00:31:03,644
Hmm.
646
00:31:04,993 --> 00:31:06,125
No.
647
00:31:12,174 --> 00:31:14,220
We have a problem.
648
00:31:14,220 --> 00:31:16,222
Anders just walked off
the Darling Project.
649
00:31:16,222 --> 00:31:19,355
He said the results you want
are impossible.
650
00:31:19,355 --> 00:31:20,748
Get someone else.
651
00:31:20,748 --> 00:31:23,925
There is no one else
who's done this before.
652
00:31:26,275 --> 00:31:27,973
Yes, there is.
653
00:31:27,973 --> 00:31:29,931
Cobra up.
654
00:31:29,931 --> 00:31:31,237
Nice and easy.
655
00:31:31,237 --> 00:31:33,369
Head up to the sky.
656
00:31:33,369 --> 00:31:36,459
Breathe, take your time.
657
00:31:36,459 --> 00:31:40,463
When you're ready to go down,
push your hips up to the sky,
658
00:31:40,463 --> 00:31:43,162
strain your back,
and hold the pose.
659
00:31:43,162 --> 00:31:45,294
Hi.
660
00:31:47,601 --> 00:31:48,863
I'm retired.
661
00:31:48,863 --> 00:31:50,691
You retired me.
662
00:31:50,691 --> 00:31:52,214
What if I say no?
663
00:31:52,214 --> 00:31:54,956
I don't know.
Let's find out.
664
00:31:54,956 --> 00:31:56,349
That would be fun.
665
00:32:10,276 --> 00:32:11,755
If we run out of magnets,
666
00:32:11,755 --> 00:32:13,801
I got some more office supplies
from Amazon Prime.
667
00:32:13,801 --> 00:32:16,543
The Transformer?
668
00:32:16,543 --> 00:32:17,848
What?
669
00:32:17,848 --> 00:32:19,938
You know,
Optimus Prime's wife.
670
00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:23,985
Uh, no,
that's, um, not what I meant.
671
00:32:23,985 --> 00:32:25,987
Also, just curious,
how would I, like,
672
00:32:25,987 --> 00:32:28,947
even meet a Transformer to get
a box of magnets from them?
673
00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:32,863
Could be anyplace--the gym,
maybe an auto-body shop.
674
00:32:32,863 --> 00:32:36,215
Hey, look, check out
these schematics.
675
00:32:36,215 --> 00:32:40,523
It appears that your instincts
were dead-on.
676
00:32:40,523 --> 00:32:42,569
Look at that.
677
00:32:42,569 --> 00:32:45,354
Wow. There's room
for a hidden compartment
678
00:32:45,354 --> 00:32:46,921
near the cross-shaped indent.
679
00:32:46,921 --> 00:32:50,577
Now we just have to figure out
how to open it.
680
00:32:50,577 --> 00:32:52,405
Damn, that's
a high-quality magnet.
681
00:32:52,405 --> 00:32:54,407
Probably fit, like,
three of these pictures
682
00:32:54,407 --> 00:32:56,583
to Fred's metal hip
with one of these bad boys.
683
00:32:56,583 --> 00:32:58,150
Oh.
684
00:33:00,761 --> 00:33:04,286
Where did you find this magnet?
- I found it stuck to the desk.
685
00:33:04,286 --> 00:33:05,374
What desk?
686
00:33:09,378 --> 00:33:11,424
Wait, what's that?
687
00:33:13,643 --> 00:33:15,819
Bingo.
688
00:33:20,302 --> 00:33:22,391
What's he doing?
689
00:33:25,264 --> 00:33:27,962
He just put that phone
in his pocket.
690
00:33:27,962 --> 00:33:29,572
He's reading Robert's diary.
691
00:33:29,572 --> 00:33:31,270
Is there anything important
in that?
692
00:33:31,270 --> 00:33:32,967
The therapist's name.
693
00:33:34,099 --> 00:33:36,579
Sheriff, the therapist died
694
00:33:36,579 --> 00:33:38,973
a day after Joseph saw
that diary.
695
00:33:38,973 --> 00:33:41,410
So, if he came here
to spy on us,
696
00:33:41,410 --> 00:33:43,630
he could still be doing it.
697
00:33:44,892 --> 00:33:47,025
Dr. Beasley.
698
00:34:08,611 --> 00:34:10,178
We're too late.
699
00:34:18,578 --> 00:34:19,970
Oh.
700
00:34:19,970 --> 00:34:22,147
Yeah, this thing's
on its last legs.
701
00:34:24,279 --> 00:34:26,064
Well, I don't care
how many legs it has.
702
00:34:26,064 --> 00:34:29,980
Just how long to fix it,
and can you make it longer?
703
00:34:32,113 --> 00:34:34,115
Brought you pretzels.
704
00:34:34,115 --> 00:34:35,812
Well, I found them in the Jeep,
705
00:34:35,812 --> 00:34:38,250
but I brought them
inside, so...
706
00:34:38,250 --> 00:34:40,861
Is that a human?
707
00:34:40,861 --> 00:34:44,299
That is not cool, man.
She can't see me.
708
00:34:44,299 --> 00:34:46,780
This is going to go
on my record.
709
00:34:46,780 --> 00:34:48,825
That is just her human form.
710
00:34:48,825 --> 00:34:52,220
She is a slug species
from the Earendel system.
711
00:34:53,700 --> 00:34:55,354
Thanks for that.
712
00:34:55,354 --> 00:34:58,879
Now, you see your first alien,
mind-blowing.
713
00:34:58,879 --> 00:35:00,924
And then after that,
it's kind of like, meh.
714
00:35:00,924 --> 00:35:02,100
Why are you here?
715
00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:03,797
I need to check
on where we're at
716
00:35:03,797 --> 00:35:05,494
with the whole
"saving the world" thing.
717
00:35:05,494 --> 00:35:09,019
We are not at anywhere.
718
00:35:09,019 --> 00:35:12,371
I am building a model
of the Yellowstone caldera
719
00:35:12,371 --> 00:35:14,851
to figure out
what the Greys' plan is
720
00:35:14,851 --> 00:35:18,072
to slaughter
all of the human race.
721
00:35:18,072 --> 00:35:20,857
But I ran out of glitter.
722
00:35:20,857 --> 00:35:22,685
Oh, you made the snow
all sparkly.
723
00:35:22,685 --> 00:35:24,513
- Need some trees.
724
00:35:24,513 --> 00:35:26,167
Can I add some?
725
00:35:26,167 --> 00:35:27,908
You are already doing it.
726
00:35:27,908 --> 00:35:29,475
Question for you--
727
00:35:29,475 --> 00:35:31,433
you're an alien here to save
the world, blah, blah, blah.
728
00:35:31,433 --> 00:35:33,348
Does it ever bother you
729
00:35:33,348 --> 00:35:36,264
that you can't tell anybody
about it?
730
00:35:36,264 --> 00:35:40,312
It was hard at first,
but then...
731
00:35:40,312 --> 00:35:41,965
Asta found out.
732
00:35:41,965 --> 00:35:44,881
And it was easier
733
00:35:44,881 --> 00:35:48,755
because I was no longer alone.
734
00:35:48,755 --> 00:35:50,670
See, that's what I mean.
735
00:35:50,670 --> 00:35:53,281
I saw Elliot today.
736
00:35:53,281 --> 00:35:54,935
He has a girlfriend now,
737
00:35:54,935 --> 00:35:57,894
which kind of made me
feel like shit.
738
00:35:57,894 --> 00:35:59,418
Why are you telling me this?
739
00:35:59,418 --> 00:36:01,376
I don't know,
because you're an alien.
740
00:36:01,376 --> 00:36:03,857
I figure you can't judge me.
It's like talking to a dog.
741
00:36:03,857 --> 00:36:07,121
Anyway, if I could tell Elliot
what I was doing,
742
00:36:07,121 --> 00:36:10,690
you know, then I'd have
something too.
743
00:36:10,690 --> 00:36:14,563
If you do something special
and nobody knows about it,
744
00:36:14,563 --> 00:36:16,304
are you still special?
745
00:36:20,482 --> 00:36:22,702
So who's Elliot?
746
00:36:22,702 --> 00:36:25,835
You guys done or what?
747
00:36:25,835 --> 00:36:27,315
Go away.
748
00:36:29,361 --> 00:36:30,971
Also...
749
00:36:30,971 --> 00:36:33,234
Elliott is happy.
750
00:36:33,234 --> 00:36:37,325
And I was actually happy
to see him happy.
751
00:36:37,325 --> 00:36:40,589
If you were happy
that he was happy,
752
00:36:40,589 --> 00:36:43,244
then why is your face all mopey
753
00:36:43,244 --> 00:36:46,334
and your voice
is like wet underwear?
754
00:36:46,334 --> 00:36:50,773
Because if I want him happy,
even if he didn't want me,
755
00:36:50,773 --> 00:36:52,862
then that means that...
756
00:36:54,908 --> 00:36:57,432
I love him, and...
757
00:36:57,432 --> 00:37:00,218
I ruined something...
758
00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:01,436
real.
759
00:37:12,969 --> 00:37:16,364
Are we really not going to
talk about Mom's murder story?
760
00:37:16,364 --> 00:37:19,149
It's not--
761
00:37:19,149 --> 00:37:20,890
God forbid I write a sweet
little children's book.
762
00:37:20,890 --> 00:37:23,153
There are worms coming out
of the dead mouse's stomach.
763
00:37:23,153 --> 00:37:24,633
- Those are entrails.
- Ugh.
764
00:37:24,633 --> 00:37:26,287
I am done with dinner.
765
00:37:26,287 --> 00:37:30,030
Hon, Max is right.
Maybe we need to talk about it.
766
00:37:33,076 --> 00:37:34,339
Go ahead, Max.
767
00:37:34,339 --> 00:37:36,471
What?
No way am I going first.
768
00:37:36,471 --> 00:37:37,951
Okay.
769
00:37:37,951 --> 00:37:39,518
Well, I think we were
both just expecting
770
00:37:39,518 --> 00:37:41,650
something a little more cute
and--and upbeat
771
00:37:41,650 --> 00:37:43,173
for a children's book.
772
00:37:43,173 --> 00:37:46,133
It's a beautiful story
about a mother feeding
773
00:37:46,133 --> 00:37:47,613
and protecting her babies.
774
00:37:47,613 --> 00:37:51,051
Objectively, if you were
in your classroom
775
00:37:51,051 --> 00:37:55,447
and you saw
a student drawing this...
776
00:37:57,579 --> 00:38:01,496
Would you maybe call
their parents in to talk?
777
00:38:01,496 --> 00:38:03,629
Oh, my God,
what is happening to me?
778
00:38:05,370 --> 00:38:07,459
I can't get these owls
out of my head.
779
00:38:07,459 --> 00:38:10,505
I saw a movie once
where a person saw an owl,
780
00:38:10,505 --> 00:38:13,203
and it meant they were being
abducted by aliens.
781
00:38:13,203 --> 00:38:14,335
Does your butt hurt?
782
00:38:14,335 --> 00:38:16,032
Okay, that's not
really dinner talk.
783
00:38:16,032 --> 00:38:17,207
And we have been over this--
784
00:38:17,207 --> 00:38:20,080
there's no such thing
as aliens, okay?
785
00:38:31,004 --> 00:38:32,701
Getting the band
back together--
786
00:38:32,701 --> 00:38:35,051
man, we haven't dusted up
like that since...
787
00:38:35,051 --> 00:38:37,053
the Gathering of Nations.
788
00:38:38,751 --> 00:38:40,579
Yeah.
789
00:38:40,579 --> 00:38:44,104
Hey, Dad,
I think I did a bad thing.
790
00:38:44,104 --> 00:38:48,804
Harry's in love
with this alien bird.
791
00:38:48,804 --> 00:38:52,721
And so I told him
not to pursue it.
792
00:38:52,721 --> 00:38:55,898
I told him that he should focus
on saving the world,
793
00:38:55,898 --> 00:38:59,728
but I don't think
that's why I did it.
794
00:39:00,947 --> 00:39:04,211
Someone feeling
a little jealous?
795
00:39:04,211 --> 00:39:06,866
No.
796
00:39:06,866 --> 00:39:10,435
Well, not romantically anyway.
797
00:39:10,435 --> 00:39:12,828
But...
798
00:39:12,828 --> 00:39:14,700
maybe, yeah.
799
00:39:14,700 --> 00:39:17,224
I mean, it was always
just me and Harry.
800
00:39:17,224 --> 00:39:18,747
He needed me.
801
00:39:18,747 --> 00:39:20,967
And now he's not even answering
my phone calls.
802
00:39:20,967 --> 00:39:23,448
You know how much
you mean to him.
803
00:39:23,448 --> 00:39:24,971
I know.
804
00:39:26,929 --> 00:39:28,888
Being there today, seeing
all those people,
805
00:39:28,888 --> 00:39:32,282
surrounded by all that love...
806
00:39:32,282 --> 00:39:35,242
It just made me realize he
should get to have that too.
807
00:39:37,244 --> 00:39:39,681
- Hey.
- Hi.
808
00:39:39,681 --> 00:39:42,423
Thank you so much
for bringing me to the rez.
809
00:39:42,423 --> 00:39:45,905
It was a lot, but I loved it.
810
00:39:45,905 --> 00:39:49,909
Also, my mom and I kind of got
into a bit of a fight,
811
00:39:49,909 --> 00:39:53,086
so I was wondering
if maybe I could crash
812
00:39:53,086 --> 00:39:54,522
with you for a few days.
813
00:39:54,522 --> 00:39:57,743
Before you say no,
just think about it, okay?
814
00:39:57,743 --> 00:39:59,832
It could be fun.
815
00:39:59,832 --> 00:40:02,748
All right, um, I've got to go,
but think about it.
816
00:40:02,748 --> 00:40:04,924
All right.
I'll talk to you soon.
817
00:40:04,924 --> 00:40:06,404
O-okay.
818
00:40:06,404 --> 00:40:08,971
There are many terrifying
things in the world,
819
00:40:08,971 --> 00:40:11,931
but the most terrifying
thing is love.
820
00:40:16,109 --> 00:40:20,243
♪ In the middle
of the night again ♪
821
00:40:20,243 --> 00:40:24,683
♪ Still water,
and the birds don't sing... ♪
822
00:40:24,683 --> 00:40:27,468
It attacks you like
a thing with claws.
823
00:40:27,468 --> 00:40:31,690
♪ Medicating for
the trouble that's coming ♪
824
00:40:34,997 --> 00:40:38,914
♪ This house wasn't made
for strangers ♪
825
00:40:38,914 --> 00:40:42,440
♪ But you come knocking
anyway ♪
826
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:46,226
♪ I can hear you
knocking on the door ♪
827
00:40:46,226 --> 00:40:50,622
♪ I won't leave it open
for you anymore ♪
828
00:40:50,622 --> 00:40:54,452
Love opens you up,
and there you are.
829
00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:59,544
♪ Knocking on the door
of the house of mercy ♪
830
00:41:02,024 --> 00:41:05,811
♪ Don't try
to change my mind ♪
831
00:41:05,811 --> 00:41:08,248
And you don't
even try to stop it.
832
00:41:08,248 --> 00:41:10,555
You let it feed.
833
00:41:17,649 --> 00:41:21,304
♪ Don't try to wear me down
834
00:41:21,304 --> 00:41:24,351
Because real love makes
you want the person you love
835
00:41:24,351 --> 00:41:26,135
to be okay...
836
00:41:31,445 --> 00:41:33,491
Even if you are not.
837
00:41:45,154 --> 00:41:47,548
Heather?
838
00:42:11,398 --> 00:42:13,356
Son of a bitch.
839
00:42:48,783 --> 00:42:50,611
Tell me
about when you worked
840
00:42:50,611 --> 00:42:52,570
for DARPA's
autonomous robotics program.
841
00:42:54,223 --> 00:42:57,096
The VA would donate soldiers
who were in a vegetative state
842
00:42:57,096 --> 00:42:58,488
to DARPA.
843
00:42:58,488 --> 00:42:59,925
Instead of pulling the plug,
844
00:42:59,925 --> 00:43:02,101
we kept them alive
and ran experiments.
845
00:43:02,101 --> 00:43:04,407
I quit that job.
846
00:43:04,407 --> 00:43:06,235
I still have nightmares.
847
00:43:10,544 --> 00:43:12,154
Nope.
848
00:43:12,154 --> 00:43:14,374
No way in hell
am I putting that thing on.
849
00:43:14,374 --> 00:43:16,245
It's not for you.
850
00:43:19,466 --> 00:43:21,250
It's for him.
851
00:43:23,470 --> 00:43:25,733
Who better to fight aliens
852
00:43:25,733 --> 00:43:28,475
than someone
who can see aliens?