- Previously on "resident alien"...
- You were right about ethan.
He's not an alien.
- You didn't kill him? - Of course not.
- Got kicked off the team.
I lost my scholarship, and I had to come here.
At this point, it's just easier to quit skiing.
- Harry is an alien. - They know.
- We know. - We already figured it out.
- When the hungry mantid babies hatch,
Their food will have to be--
- Us.
- Do not shoot the egg sac!
The babies will scatter.
- There's one! - [grunts]
- Well, deputy, you finally saw an alien.
- I don't ever wanna hear the word "alien" again.
- I need to leave here.
I'm sorry.
- Don't be.
I do not belong here anymore.
I need to be with heather.
- We're leaving. - [chuckles]
- They're here.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Ethan, we talked about this.
Aliens aren't real.
Look, just please come home.
- He ruined my life, mom.
I have to fix this.
It's the only way I can get back on track.
- Honey, I'm worried about you.
- You have nothing to worry about.
I promise. - Please, I just--
- Mom, it's okay.
I'll be home soon. You'll see.
This is the best thing--
[mysterious music]
♪ ♪
[brown bird's "bilgewater"]
[laidback acoustic strumming]
♪ ♪
- Look, I need 10 apple pies and 10 cherry pies.
Oh, uh, make it 8 apple and 11 cherry.
100 of each.
- You've seen my kitchen, right?
I'll grab you two of each.
- I am traveling a trillion miles
To go live with my heather.
I need road snacks.
I also do not know if her planet has a pie shop.
- Well, maybe you should call heather and ask her.
- No, I want to surprise her.
- Oh, great idea. Women love surprises.
- Hmm.
- No, I'm kidding. We don't.
- You do not know my heather, kaylahlah--
Kaylahlahlah.
- Thanks, uncle.
Oh, when you see asta, tell her I may have the name
Of a doctor to replace harry.
- What?
Replace me? Why?
- You're leaving.
We need a new doctor at the clinic.
- No.
I don't--that sounds like a horrible idea.
I do not want to be replaced.
- This is what happens when you leave.
Life goes on for everyone else who stays.
- That's right.
The town will find a new doctor.
Somebody else will eat my pies.
And someone else will live in your cabin.
- No! Nah!
That's my cabin!
I will burn it down before I let anyone else live there!
Right?
[thuds]
Bullshit.
- That's how my son reacted when we changed preschools.
- I had the craziest dream,
And I couldn't go back to sleep.
Jay was there, and she was pissed for some reason.
Oh, and judy had a wagon full of books,
And there was this spaceship from harry's planet
That crash landed on that highway
That goes through the pass.
What did we eat last night?
- Some food we cooked at some point that we found
Wrapped in something somewhere in the fridge.
[knock at door]
- Guess who got into college!
- What? - My girl!
My girl! - I'm going to boulder.
Still colorado, but I'm finally getting out of patience.
- [squeals]
- I need a sweatshirt. Will you buy one for me?
- Yes!
I am so proud of you!
Oh, my god!
This is perfect timing.
- Oh, thank you very much.
- Okay.
I've wanted to give you this for a long time.
Partly for college, also because I want to
Give you something before I go.
Drew called, and he said I could stay with him and manuel.
- In amsterdam! - Oh, my god!
That's so cool! - Yeah.
- You know, you deserve a vacation.
- Thank you, but it's not a vacation.
I thought I'd move there for a while.
Change things up.
I can do whatever I want.
No schedule.
Oh, god! Just be free!
Maybe I'll change my name to stacy
And get a job as a barista.
- I like stacy for you.
- Thank you. - Hold on a second.
You're moving?
Across the world?
Well, it was nice of you to let me know.
- Uh, I didn't know what I was gonna do, but I do now.
And I'm not leaving for a few weeks.
- Come on, jay. You're leaving too.
- I'm going to college.
It's different.
I'd already researched taco trucks near the school
For when you come visit.
- Good. Good, yeah.
I can fly back sometimes.
- It's not the same!
You know, I don't know why I'm surprised.
I guess this is what you do.
You leave.
- Jay!
[somber music]
♪ ♪
- Thank you, butler.
- She'll be fine. She just needs time to process.
- Well, she doesn't seem fine.
Girl's got a big old pole up her asshole.
- What do you want, judy?
- Wait.
[chuckles] I ran out of room in my oven
For my encyclopedias,
So it's a good thing you're skedaddling.
But anyway, did you clear out your closets yet?
It's okay.
I'll just throw all your stuff on the bed.
[curious music]
- Jay was angry in your dream.
- And judy had books.
In a wagon.
- What was the part again about the aliens
And the spaceship crashing to earth?
- Oh, my god!
- Hey, as, I'm gonna need you to clean your mattress.
It's covered in these long black horse hairs.
- When I left my planet, everything there continued,
But I did not care.
It is different now.
I am different now.
If life can move on without me when I leave patience,
Did I even exist at all?
- I had a dream last night,
And everything in it is coming true.
I think an alien from your planet crashed here.
- Yeah, two years ago.
It is me. Try and keep up!
- More recently, like last night.
What the hell is going on?
Can I see the future now?
- Oh, why don't you sit down?
- Huh? - Let me take a look here.
I'm am too--uh-oh! Yeah.
- What? - Um, okay.
[sniffing]
[sneezes] yep!
You are experiencing some residual poison
From the mantid. It's in your system.
It's astral-projecting you,
So you are seeing into different timelines.
It's okay. It's gonna fade.
Also, your left eye is about 12% to 13% more attractive
Than your right eye.
- Stop touching me.
- Why would someone from your planet come here?
- I do not know.
It cannot be good.
My people are not the "drop in and say hiya" type.
I want to see heather and my bird babies,
But if I can stay and stop this threat,
I can prove to these people that I am not replaceable.
[grunts] I'm supposed to leave to see my family,
But instead, I will stay here,
And I will save humanity again.
Like a hero.
How long do pies keep before they go bad?
- What the hell is this?
Should we turn around? - No.
The military presence confirms the dream you had.
We are close to the crash site.
- Why didn't your dream tell me to pee before we left?
- Hey, I know that guy!
Hey!
Hey? Hey! Hey!
Stank? Stinky?
- You're going to have to turn the truck around.
We've got a gas leak up here.
- Stank--I mean, uh, frank.
It's harry the alien.
I worked at farmington 5. You used to guard the general.
She yelled at you for wearing too much cologne,
And then those assholes started calling you stank.
Not me.
- Harry. - Yeah!
- What the hell are you doing here?
- Well, I'm just cruising with my baes.
This is gonna be cliché for me to say this to you,
But take me to your leader.
- [chuckles]
[baby coos]
- Oh, bella's in a good mood.
- Yeah.
I think that she's excited to see her grandparents.
Aren't you? - Wait, uh, what?
- Oh, well, I just talked to my parents,
And they're so excited about their new granddaughter
That they're gonna come for a visit.
- Yeah, we talked about this, though, hon.
We weren't gonna tell our parents yet.
- About our new baby? Come on, honey.
- My parents are just so critical
About everything, you know?
Why'd you name her bella?
Wish you had another boy.
Why'd you marry that one?
- I'm sorry, that one?
- Yeah, I told you that.
Remember the whole conversation about the
"dresses like a hooker" thing?
- Nope. Didn't know that.
- Maybe I told that to my sister.
- Sir?
I've been thinking a lot about it,
And I really think we need to arrest dr. Vanderspeigle.
- Why would we do that?
And why do you look so tired?
- Because he's a murderer,
And I don't think you're really supposed
To tell women they look tired.
- Why not?
You can tell me if I look tired.
Of course, you'd be lying, 'cause I don't get tired.
I'm nocturnal and dayturnal.
The real word is "diurnal," but I changed it
'cause "diurnal" sounds like where germans piss.
- Anyway, I was up all night thinking about it.
Alien harry murdered human harry.
We have to do something.
- Dr. V is an alien, okay?
He's like--he's like one of those monkeys in bali
That goes around groping women and stealing hand fruit.
Okay, how is it that people gonna be okay with that
But they're not gonna be okay with an alien alien?
- Murder is still murder.
- Look, is this about you almost being deserted
At the mantid baby buffet?
- Those things tried to kill me.
Me!
And I was the biggest alien supporter.
It's not fair!
[apprehensive music]
Oh, and I don't think the women groped by monkeys
Were okay with it.
Just my two cents.
[tense music]
- A security perimeter has been established
All around this area.
That ship, it did not crash.
It was intentionally shot down!
- What?
You're playing solitaire.
- Well, I got the information a few minutes ago.
[door clicks open]
- How did you access our systems?
- I have an alien brain.
There isn't any encryption I cannot get past.
- He used his old password.
We forgot to change it.
- Monkey diaper, exclamation mark.
- We need to speak to you.
In private.
- Oh, that's okay.
We know everything.
- Yes, and if you kill us, I have 70 pages
Of handwritten documents, photographs,
And other proof of alien existence
In a box in my lawyer's safe, which will get sent
To every newspaper in the country.
- Oh, you do not. - No, I do not.
- This alien that we shot down is from your planet.
Are you working with them? - No!
- Then how did you know they were here?
- Asta had a dream.
- We found this.
- Oh, whoa.
- In a field about a hundred yards away.
- Shit, is that-- - yes.
They're here to kill everyone on earth.
I had a similar device when I wanted to murder everyone.
I prefer the old design.
Okay.
- Whoever was flying that ship is still out there.
You wanna prove you're not working with them?
Find them and kill them.
- And be careful.
This alien being could be anywhere by now
And is obviously incredibly dangerous.
- Oh, no!
Not this again.
- What's wrong?
♪ ♪
- Everything okay, sir?
- Yeah, I'll take-- - okay.
I'll be back in a second. - Mm.
- Oh!
Hello, harry.
That's your earth name, right?
- You are very sloppy at your people-killing plans.
I have a friend who can see through our energy field.
He told me.
Alien over at the café.
Looks like a dickhead.
Here you are.
- Yeah, that kid who pointed at me in the street?
- Mm. - I had just been
At the clinic looking for you.
They offered me your old job as town doctor.
Isn't that funny?
- Son of a bitch!
- Hey.
You've been here awhile.
Where do I find tellurium?
I lost my device in the crash, and I have to build a new one
And build a ship so I can drop the device and kill everyone.
There's a lot to do.
Hey, this pie thing is great.
You should try some.
- It's too bad for you that the greys
Are in charge of the earth.
They will not let you kill anyone.
And pie was my thing before it was ever yours.
- No, the greys lost control of the planet.
Apparently, you messed up their yellowstone project,
And they couldn't secure the loan.
Our people got it back.
- Well, it does not matter
Because there is no tellurium on earth,
So you can't kill everyone.
- I happen to know there is tellurium on earth
Because I know more than you do.
- If that were true, then you would know that
They do not call it tellurium on earth.
They call it...
Ballsack.
- Fine, then I will find the ballsack.
- [chuckles]
And what will you do when you find it?
- I'm glad you asked.
I am going to use the ballsack...
- [chuckles]
- To kill everyone on earth.
- [laughs]
[stammers] nah.
- That is an earth laugh. Why are you laughing?
- That was not an earth laugh. That was a cough.
You'd make a very bad doctor
Because you do not know anything.
- I know that humans are destroying the planet,
And they have no redeeming qualities.
Except maybe this pie.
- That is not true.
Humans are not what we thought they were.
They have the ability to learn and change.
They are special.
[soft music]
You will see.
- Yes.
I will see them die.
- Mm. - And I don't need your help.
I've got all the time in the world.
And I won't quit until I have that sweet,
Sweet ballsack in my hands.
- [laughs]
- Here, drinking water helps a cough.
- Mm.
- Welcome back to patience, dr. Ethan.
I heard you're gonna be harry's replacement.
- I am going to kill him so much.
[suspenseful music]
♪ ♪
- The poltergeist house.
- The house is haunted.
- Okay, everybody, keep it down.
Quiet.
We gotta bring this meeting to order.
And prove to you that I am not replaceable.
I have some important news for everyone.
You are in danger, and you are facing certain death.
An alien has come to earth
And is planning to kill everyone.
- Yeah, we know. Asta told us in the kitchen.
- What?
That was my announcement to make!
- Sorry. It seemed important.
- I have other news.
Even bigger!
- The alien looks like dr. Ethan.
- Son of a bitch!
- We've been here 10 minutes.
- The real dr. Ethan died in the crash.
It was tragic.
Probably my fault. A little bit.
He was always in love with me,
And he--he was probably on his way here to find me.
- Well, the important news is that you need me,
And I'm here, so it's not a problem.
- Then why did you tell us?
- Because he needs our help. - Oh.
- You know what? I'm in.
- Yeah. Me too.
Point me at that little tinfoil-wearing son of a bitch.
I'll stick his ray gun straight up his ass.
- The sheriff really likes to watch
Those 1950s sci-fi movies.
- I do not need your help.
You need my help.
- No, that's a mistake.
Now, see, the deputy and I, we're trained for this.
- No, you and the deputy are trained to give out
Parking tickets, which I rip up. [laughs]
You are no match for an alien with alien powers.
The last time these two came after me,
I just ran away from their dumb bullets...
- You're under arrest for the murder of sam hodges.
- And then wiped the whole memory of the thing
From their brains in 10 seconds.
- Oh, my god. That was the missing time.
You were the alien in front of me.
- Well, your little alien mind trick didn't work on me.
I didn't have any missing time.
- That's because I put a fake memory in your tiny brain.
Do you remember when you went fishing with your dad?
- That wasn't fake.
We went fly fishing in the los piños.
I caught a... Both: 10-inch trout.
- What the hell?
Turn around.
You're under arrest for the murder
Of the real harry vanderspeigle.
- What? - Deputy, cuff him.
- Gladly.
Up against the wall, perp.
- Come on!
You can't arrest him.
- You killed someone to get that body?
- Well, how do you think he got it?
- Well, I don't know. He's an alien.
- Mike, this is stupid.
We need harry to kill the alien.
- Yes, and you can't arrest harry
Because there's no jail that will hold him.
- This is some bull.
- Shit--some bullshit.
This is some bullshit.
I mean, you can't leave it hanging.
- You can't go around meddling with people's heads!
Fishing with my dad that day?
It's like the best memory I had.
And now you're telling me that it was all fake?
That's the worst thing anybody's ever
Done to me in my whole life!
- Hey, did I mention that I was going to save you all?
Yay, harry!
- I'm not gonna "yay, harry!"
I'm gonna hate harry.
I never wanna see your face again.
And I wish your alien ass had never come to patience.
- Well, if you don't want my help, fine.
Then you can just kill the alien yourself.
[tense music]
- Harry?
Harry!
♪ ♪
[door slams shut]
- Great job, sheriff.
The one chance we had to deal with that new alien
Just walked out the door.
- To hell with him!
We can kill this alien ourselves.
We don't need harry's help. - We don't?
We have no idea what this new alien is capable of.
- You know whose fault this really is?
Asta.
- You blame asta for this, we're gonna have a problem.
- Asta knew he was an alien all along,
And if she would have told us the truth back then,
I could have killed him the second he got here,
And then I wouldn't have had aliens putting
Fake fishing trips in my head.
- Well, maybe if you took your dad fishing more often,
He wouldn't have to plant them.
[soft tense music]
- Do you wanna go?
- Oh, I would love to go!
- Okay! Hold on.
Now--okay. - I have all night.
- Now I'm off duty.
What are you gonna do with it?
What is it, then?
[both shouting]
- If you're not using that gun,
I could borrow it to blow my brains out.
- I know what I'm gonna do with you.
- Stop fighting!
Nobody wishes that they had killed harry
When he first got to patience.
- I do.
- No, you don't.
- He tried to kill max.
- But he didn't.
And if you had killed harry when he first got here,
We would never have gotten our baby back.
D'arcy saved her,
But it was harry who put his soul on the line
To get her back from the grey aliens.
- She's right.
Without harry, the greys would still have her.
- Can't even think about that.
- No, it--it's not just bella.
If harry hadn't come to earth,
Asta wouldn't have a relationship with jay.
- And the greys would still be taking us.
- And we'd have no idea it was even happening.
- I'm lucky that dr. Vanderspeigle came here.
- What the hell are you talking about?
You the one that said you hate aliens.
- I know.
But he did save me from being eaten by baby mantids.
- And harry kind of saved me too.
A while ago, he did his blunt honesty thing,
And it was what I needed to hear right then.
Without him, I don't--
I don't even know if I'd still be here.
- You know what? Stop it.
All of you need to stop it.
I don't wanna hear this shit!
I don't wanna hear you talk about how
Harry made your life better.
Because guess what.
He made my life worse.
And I'm not about to forgive him for that.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[soft music playing]
♪ ♪
- My little jay, happy first birthday.
A year ago was the happiest day of my life,
And today, knowing you're happy and taken care of
Is the second.
You started kindergarten this year.
When I was eight, I got my first bike.
Are you riding one yet?
I'm seeing the number 11 everywhere today.
[chuckles] maybe that means--
I made a cake, and I made the same wish I wish every year.
Someday you'll know me, that I will exist in your heart
Because there's nobody in this world who is stronger in mine.
- What are you doing?
- The sheriff hates me.
It does not feel good to know that he thinks
I ruined his life.
- So you're looking for something to numb your pain?
- No, I'm looking for something to kill him with.
This will work. - That's your answer?
- I do not like knowing someone hates me.
Oh.
I should also kill the woman at the market who yelled
At me for sampling the nuts.
- You're not killing anyone,
Especially not with baby aspirin.
- I do not know what to do.
Even after I kill alien ethan,
I will not want to leave knowing that someone thinks
I made their life worse.
- I actually understand that.
It's a very human feeling.
- I am alien now.
- But you're still human too.
The whole point of being here on earth is to learn and grow
And to try and better the lives of everyone around you,
Which I know is what you were doing when
You gave mike that memory.
- But it didn't work.
So now I can kill him.
[soft music]
- I know your big alien brain
Can come up with something better than that.
♪ ♪
Jay.
I'm so sorry.
I know I should have given you more notice.
I know. I just didn't--
Hey!
You okay?
- I love you.
- [sobs]
- I'll miss you.
- Oh!
♪ ♪
- What are you doing?
Is that ammo? - Damn right, it's ammo.
Alien dr. V. Texted me.
Said he wants to meet up.
I'm not taking any chances.
He ruined my relationship with my father.
We never fish anymore.
- You never really fished before.
- Yeah, but if--if harry hadn't have put that memory
In my head of us fishing that day, I would've asked
My father to fish by now.
That alien wants to talk, I'm ready to talk.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
Got something for me, alien?
I got something for your ass too.
♪ ♪
Dad?
What the hell are you doing here?
- Dr. Vanderspeigle asked me to meet him fishing
And to bring a rod for him.
[soft music]
What are you doing here?
- Uh...
[chuckles]
I don't think the doctor's gonna show up.
- And you gotta run back to work probably.
- Actually, you know what?
I got all the time in the world.
- Well, that lure's all set.
Toss it out there.
Let's see what you got.
- This one here? - Yeah, that one.
- Okay.
- All right, now, remember what I done told you.
- Whoa! - Oh, look a-there!
That's beautiful, beautiful.
- Yeah. Yeah. - My son.
♪ ♪
- [sighs]
[somber music]
Hi, sam.
Sorry I'm a few days late.
Things around here have been kind of crazy.
Also, um, I may not be back for a while.
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
We were just talking.
I mean, I was talking.
Sam's a great listener.
- Were you telling him about your big move to amsterdam?
It's so exciting.
- I don't know.
I was excited about amsterdam,
And then I got this random email
From an ngo that needs nurses to do humanitarian work.
And so that sounds exciting too.
I feel like I'm at a fork in the road,
And the fork is just a million different streets,
And I have to pick one.
- You know, after everything we've been through
And seeing that the world is so much bigger than we thought,
Why do any of us have to pick just one?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
Hmm.
[knocking]
- Oh, jesus!
What happened to the anonymous part of aa?
- Aa is anonymous.
Your instagram feed isn't.
I came to tell you not to give up skiing.
- Oh, so you came to lecture me?
You don't know shit about me.
- I know more about you than you can imagine.
I'm you, from the future.
Look, a while ago, I was in trouble.
And my life was changed by somebody
Who didn't care about me.
Except for one moment when he did, and he saved me.
Maybe I'm not that person for you, but maybe I am.
You don't need ski school to ski.
I got kicked out of two of them before I went to the olympics.
If you can't get into one, hire a private tutor, like I did.
But if you wanna ski, ski.
And stop making excuses for your life.
Here.
This is my number.
Do what you want with it.
Oh, and by the way, I watched your videos.
You need to be more patient on the bumps.
You're bringing your knees up too early.
[gentle music]
♪ ♪
- Thanks.
- [sighs]
- What would you think if I left teaching?
- The student evaluations come out?
- No.
Who cares? They're all liars anyway.
- [chuckles]
- I'm thinking about getting back into law full-time.
I've always wanted to fight for people who
Couldn't fight for themselves.
- Getting back into law is perfect for you.
- Yeah? - You're a born fighter.
If you weren't, we wouldn't have our baby.
- Exactly.
There's--there's this whole part
Of myself that I pushed aside.
But everything that's happened reminds me that I'm alive.
And if I can make space for that,
Then I'll have more for you and max and bella,
And I won't be living in survival mode.
Do you know what I mean?
- Living in survival mode?
Yeah, it's my hometown.
- Well, you've spent your whole life not knowing
You were being abducted by aliens.
- I always blamed my parents for me being the way I am.
That wasn't their fault. It was the aliens.
They--they took everything from me.
- Yeah, well, think about it another way.
I mean, alien abduction's made you who you are.
Strange.
A weirdo.
- Eh, I mean, I can say it.
- You are my weirdo. - Mm.
- I'm so lucky that I found you.
- I'm lucky I found you too.
Hey. - Hmm?
- Is that the alien cookie girl who threatened you?
- Holy shit!
- Hey!
- I'm not supposed to talk to you anymore.
- Oh, you're goddamn right, you're not.
And guess what.
I'm not afraid of you or any of your
Little alien friends anymore,
So if you go near my family again,
I will kill you.
And I can do it. I'm the mayor.
I am the mayor of this town, and I will kill all of you!
[quirky music]
- Those other girls aren't with me.
- Shit!
Grab some cookies!
♪ ♪
- Excuse me.
[tense music]
[tires screech]
[door slams]
[engine revving]
♪ ♪
- What the hell's going on here?
Who the hell are you?
- We're sorry about all this.
It's just the way we had to do it.
I'm david logan, and this is major hill.
- I'm in charge of western oversight of nep--
Non-earthly phenomena.
We've heard a lot about you.
We could use your help.
- You want me to work for the government?
No, that's not gonna happen.
- We're not exactly the government.
- We helped peter bach find his son.
And he told us about you tracking
And killing the mantid alien.
You'll fit right in here.
- No way. I'm out.
- You'll keep your job, and you'll be issued
Specialized weaponry no one else has.
- I'm in.
[quirky music]
But under one condition.
- [gasps]
What the hell?
- Sorry, deputy.
It's the only way we can do this.
I need a partner.
I joined the men in black.
- Uh, but that's not what it's called.
- What?
No.
I'm not doing that.
- Sorry, deputy, you have no choice.
You've seen our faces.
If you don't join, we're gonna have to kill you.
- We don't do that.
- She's seen too much! - No, she hasn't.
- Please stop advocating for them to kill me!
I'll think about it.
Jeez! - Take your time.
- You got 10 seconds.
- [sighs]
Okay.
I'll agree to do it, but only if I get to see
All the government files on fairies.
- You don't have clearance to see those.
- Now I don't need to,
Because you just told me they exist.
Thank you.
I'm in.
- Well played, deputy.
Or should I say agent deputy?
- Mm. - [chuckles]
[indistinct chatter]
- Hey!
- What are you doing here?
I thought you were dealing with the alien problem thing.
- I am. He is coming here.
You two will get him drunk,
And then I will take him out back.
And I'll reach down his throat and pull out his stomach.
- What?
- Or his lungs, whichever way my hand goes.
Oh, he's here!
Hey, hey! Look who it is!
It's ethan!
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
[laughs]
- That's great. Let's have more.
- ♪ I've been wishing around in my head ♪
♪ like you might have felt like ♪
♪ there's nothing else to be said ♪
♪ carry my shotgun, where shall we go ♪
♪ got one more to go ♪
♪ can you back down ♪
- [laughs]
- Hey!
You wanna sit with your friends?
You can have my seat.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Why did he do that for me?
It feels warm.
It feels good.
- I experienced the same feelings
When I first arrived on earth--
Fear, loss, love.
He is feeling human emotions for the first time.
- I think there are things happening with my body.
- Yes, that warm feeling in your body is what humans feel.
It is called love and kindness.
- I don't think so.
I think I'm just getting used to this body.
It'll go away.
- No, it will not.
- He, um--he's--
He's from your planet, so he's gonna become
More human like you, right?
- Yes.
Uh, red one, can I use your music phone?
[nicki minaj's "starships"]
♪ ♪
- ♪ uh ♪
♪ let's go to the beach-each ♪
♪ let's go get away ♪
♪ they say what they gonna say ♪
♪ have a drink, clink, found the bud light ♪
♪ bad [...] like me is hard to come by ♪
♪ the patrón, own, let's go get it on ♪
♪ the zone, own, yes, I'm in the zone ♪
♪ is it two, three, leave a good tip ♪
♪ I'ma blow all my money and don't give two [...] ♪
♪ I'm on the floor, floor ♪
♪ I love to dance ♪
♪ so give me more, more ♪
♪ till I can't stand ♪
- I do not have to kill this alien.
By the time he fixes his device and builds a ship,
It will be too late.
He will already be too human to want to kill everyone.
- ♪ starships were meant to fly ♪
♪ hands up and touch the sky ♪
♪ let's do this one last time ♪
♪ can't stop ♪
♪ we're higher than a mother[...] ♪
- And if I killed him, I would be killing
The humanity that is growing inside of him.
How could I ever take that gift away from someone?
♪ ♪
- ♪ we're higher than a mother[...] ♪
♪ starships were meant to fly ♪
♪ hands up and touch the sky ♪
♪ can't stop 'cause we're so high ♪
♪ let's do this one more time ♪
- That is so true!
I hate ballet!
It's so mm...
- I know, right!
You ever listen to jazz?
Ooh, it makes me so carsick. - I know.
- So that's it?
The alien won't be a problem.
- He's already more human than harry was when he got here.
- By the end of the night, he was buying everybody drinks,
So also more generous than harry.
- Yeah.
- Well, love and kindness are powerful things.
I mean, who knows how many aliens landed here
Before harry, planning to do bad things,
Then spared our lives?
- Well, I've got a good thing to share.
I'm not moving to amsterdam.
- What?
- You're not leaving?
- Do you remember that hurricane
That was in louisiana?
There's this ngo called rns, and they need nurses.
- Wow!
- So I leave in three days. - Mm!
- And then who knows what's after that?
- I'm so excited for you.
Well, not excited for you to leave.
And I'm definitely not excited to say g--
[sentimental music]
Goodbye.
- Hey.
- Here we go again. Jesus!
- I'm so happy you're still working in medicine.
And don't worry, d'arce.
We utes, we don't say goodbye.
We say punikyavaatusamu 'ara.
- That means "see you sometime."
- Yeah.
♪ ♪
- I do not want to zip it up.
When I do, then I have to leave.
And we will be apart.
- It's hard for me too.
[sighs]
But I have to remember, love doesn't work that way.
If you love someone, you're never really apart.
They're a part of you, and you're a part of them,
And they can never leave you.
- That sucks!
It is so much better to be together.
- I promise, life won't move on like you were never here,
Even if it seems like it will.
You--you were in our lives.
And there's nothing that can change that.
- I made a lot of mistakes.
- You also helped a lot of people in this town.
- They do not care about me. - [scoffs]
- But I know the important thing is
I tried to help people...
- [chitters]
- After I killed some other people.
- [chitters]
- That is the correct order.
- Well, you did your best.
Earth is better now than when you got here.
We all are.
♪ ♪
- [sighs]
Wait.
- [chittering]
- It is true that helping others
Is the most important thing humans can do.
Maybe saying thank you is the second most important.
- [chitters]
- [grunts]
♪ ♪
- I thought you said that you hid your ship here.
- I did. Uh--
[whirring]
[majestic music]
♪ ♪
- [chittering]
- It is the dr. Ethan ship.
I got it from the government and repaired it.
Mostly duct tape.
It'll get me to heather's.
[mechanical grinding]
Son of a bitch!
It'll get me close.
- [chittering]
- [chuckles]
Goodbye, my friend.
- I'll miss you.
- It is up to you two now to protect earth.
- Ms. Twelvetrees said the alien is turning into a human.
- So it's safe, right?
- It's about 50/50.
Here.
If you need me, dial 9 first.
Roaming charges apply.
- [cooing] - bye.
- Oh-ho-ho!
Oh!
[soft music]
- [sighs]
- It's an interesting thing about life.
What really connects humans to each other
Is nothing more than simple acts of kindness.
- Bye, bridge.
- [coos]
- Bye.
[humming]
♪ ♪
[whirring]
Humans think they need love from others to be happy.
They do not realize they already have all the love
They will ever need inside of them.
♪ ♪
Maybe the real magic happens when you give that love away.
- [sighs] sorry to pull you from work.
- Eh.
- I gotta be in louisiana in two days.
I'm gonna stop by that restaurant
In texas shaped like a bagel.
- So this is it.
- [sighs]
Hey, you remember when you moved
To vermont for ski school?
- Can you believe that was, like, 20 years ago?
- And mr. Hurley gave us that nickname
'cause we were attached at the hip.
- Mm-hmm.
D'asta.
- [gruffly] d'asta! - [gruffly] d'asta!
[laughter]
- I made you that cool beaded bracelet too.
You remember that? - Oh, yeah.
- I gave it to you right before you left 'cause...
[voice breaking] I didn't want you to forget me.
♪ ♪
- Here you go.
- [chuckles]
- It's okay.
I'll be okay.
♪ ♪
I'll see you sometime.
- See you sometime.
[the youngbloods' "get together"]
♪ ♪
- ♪ love is but a song we sing ♪
♪ fear's the way we die ♪
♪ ♪
♪ you can make the mountains ring ♪
♪ or make the angels cry ♪
- Being kind to others is like planting a seed
That grows and spreads among them.
- ♪ though the bird is on the wing ♪
♪ and you may not know why ♪
- I do not think I was the first alien being
To come to earth and be affected by this humanity.
- ♪ come on people, now ♪
♪ smile on your brother ♪
♪ everybody get together ♪
♪ try to love one another right now ♪
- And I clearly will not be the last.
But it will not matter as long as humans continue to be good.
Their love will spread to whoever comes--
Like turning on a light in the darkness.
The love you leave behind
Will last much longer than you will.
- ♪ come on people, now ♪
♪ smile on your brother ♪
♪ everybody get together ♪
♪ try to love one another right now ♪
- Which is good,
Because nobody wants to be forgotten.
- ♪ right now ♪
♪ ♪
[the youngbloods' "get together"]
♪ ♪
- ♪ come on people, now ♪
♪ smile on your brother ♪
♪ everybody get together ♪
♪ try to love one another right now ♪
- Bip.