1 00:00:06,441 --> 00:00:08,747 - Previously on "Resident Alien"... 2 00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:10,184 - I think this alien's here to kill everybody. 3 00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:12,795 - You will help me find my device. 4 00:00:12,838 --> 00:00:15,319 - That's on the glacier. You can't go there. 5 00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,452 Harry, don't go! It's too dangerous. 6 00:00:17,495 --> 00:00:19,541 - Not for me. - Harry! 7 00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:21,238 - You have kids? 8 00:00:21,282 --> 00:00:22,587 - We have a little boy named Max. 9 00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:23,762 - Max. 10 00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:25,503 - You should take my number. Call anytime. 11 00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:28,115 - When I find my device, I can finally kill them all. 12 00:00:28,158 --> 00:00:30,900 - Harry! Don't move. 13 00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:36,862 I am what your people call an extraterrestrial. 14 00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:38,038 - Oh. 15 00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:39,996 - An alien. - Oh, I feel nauseous. 16 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,303 - You earn respect through your actions, Deputy. 17 00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:43,739 Did you make your own murder board? 18 00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:45,871 - Toxicology results. Sam was poisoned. 19 00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:48,004 You don't respect me, and you never have. 20 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,310 I quit! 21 00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:52,400 - I'm not quitting. I'm gonna get us out of here. 22 00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:55,707 Tell me how to help you. - My leg. 23 00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:59,102 I will die if you don't chop it off. 24 00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:01,626 - Okay, look at me. I won't let you die. 25 00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:04,586 - Aah! 26 00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:07,893 Do my feet look like watermelons? 27 00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:09,286 'Cause they feel like it. 28 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:11,027 - The sexiest watermelons 29 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,420 I've ever seen. 30 00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:16,163 - Still so much to do before"Jack" or "Joanie" comes. 31 00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:19,122 We need crib sheets and burp cloths. 32 00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,037 - Couples massage. - 33 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:24,127 So where do we stand 34 00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:26,173 on baby food? 35 00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:29,263 Jarred or homemade? 36 00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:30,742 - I don't know. I read somewhere homemade 37 00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:33,267 doesn't keep as well. A little too lumpy. 38 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,356 Plus, I've tried baby applesauce, 39 00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:37,488 and it's freakin' delicious. 40 00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:43,320 - What's happening? 41 00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:48,108 ♪ 42 00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:50,327 - I don't know. 43 00:01:56,812 --> 00:01:59,206 Oh, my God. 44 00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:06,474 Honey! 45 00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:15,178 Oh. Honey, the baby. 46 00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:20,792 - Uh, uh... 47 00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:23,795 - Okay. 48 00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:32,630 ♪ 49 00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:40,943 - You saw that, right? 50 00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:03,313 ♪ 51 00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:04,836 - I'm dead. 52 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:08,231 But if I'm dead, why do I feel so warm and squishy 53 00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:10,190 like I'm being hugged by a cloud? 54 00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,582 Oh, no. 55 00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,541 This must be the afterlife. 56 00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:16,326 I'm in human heaven. 57 00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,589 It makes me want to kill myself. 58 00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:21,505 - I see the morphine is still working. 59 00:03:21,549 --> 00:03:23,464 - What are you doing here? 60 00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:25,901 Why does the afterlife 61 00:03:25,944 --> 00:03:28,860 look like a crappy cabin? 62 00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:30,253 Are you dead too? 63 00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:31,733 - I didn't want to leave you alone 64 00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:35,040 after what you'd been through. Come on. 65 00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:37,173 You need to eat just so you can get your strength back. 66 00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:41,395 Mmm. 67 00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:48,315 - Now I know why you have 17 gallons of milk in your fridge. 68 00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:52,797 Okay, I need to change your dressing. 69 00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:57,585 Um, I think we should, you know, 70 00:03:57,628 --> 00:03:59,064 try to avoid suspicion. 71 00:03:59,108 --> 00:04:01,241 So I started looking into getting you a prosthetic. 72 00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:05,114 I know--what the freakin' hell is that? 73 00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:07,334 - That is my leg. 74 00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:09,249 It's regenerating. 75 00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:11,381 - How is that even possible? 76 00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:13,383 - My people are descendants 77 00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,603 of octopuses. 78 00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,648 Soon it will grow longer, 79 00:04:17,692 --> 00:04:21,391 and then I will transformthe molecules into human shape. 80 00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:24,525 - So you're telling me eventually that thing 81 00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:27,658 will look like that one? - Yes. 82 00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:30,748 Except for the moleand the hangnail. 83 00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:34,448 I chewed my toenaildown too low. 84 00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:38,278 You can go now. 85 00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:41,368 - Excuse me? 86 00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:44,762 I stayed up all night. 87 00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:46,677 I got supplies. I dressed your wounds. 88 00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,418 I cleaned you up, and this is how you thank me? 89 00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:50,246 - I didn't ask you to stay. 90 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,379 - Well, I did 91 00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:54,468 'cause that's what humans do. 92 00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,600 They take care of one another. 93 00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:58,950 You know, when some--I'm sorry, 94 00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:00,517 I can't take you seriously with that thing. 95 00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,737 -- What is wrong with it? -It's perfectly normal. 96 00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:05,043 - Jesus, can you just 97 00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,307 put a sock on it? 98 00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:08,743 - It likes the fresh air. 99 00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:11,485 -Also, it's not a thing. -It is a leg. 100 00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:13,661 You are leg-shaming me. 101 00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:18,318 Be careful with that. 102 00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,625 -No. -Please be careful. 103 00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:24,324 Do not press the black button. 104 00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:27,892 I'm not ready to radiomy people yet. 105 00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:29,807 - This black button? 106 00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:32,549 - Asta. 107 00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:35,639 - Say thank you. - Thank you. 108 00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:42,342 -Oh! -Thank you. 109 00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:50,959 You're welcome. 110 00:05:53,527 --> 00:05:55,398 - Please do not move. 111 00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:57,487 I'm going to work,and I'll be back later. 112 00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,402 - If all goes as planned, 113 00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:02,362 there won't be a "later." 114 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:05,539 Yes. Later. 115 00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:16,158 ♪ 116 00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:22,120 Shit! 117 00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:32,479 - I knew it. 118 00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:34,394 Why are you ignoring my calls? 119 00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:38,310 - Um, I'm sorry. 120 00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:41,226 -I've just been so busy. -Ooh. 121 00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:44,055 - 'Cause last night, you sent me inside to get help, 122 00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:46,449 and when I came back out, you and Harry were gone, so-- 123 00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:48,451 -- Yeah, uh, sorry. -Harry was in bad shape. 124 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,453 And I realizedwe didn't have an MRI machine. 125 00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,455 So I took him to the hospitalin Braddock. 126 00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:55,458 What? 127 00:06:57,025 --> 00:07:00,245 - I know you too well. You're lying. 128 00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:02,857 - I am not. - 129 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,425 Yeah, you are. You have a tell. 130 00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:06,904 - Oh, really? What's my tell? 131 00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:08,776 - Well, I can't tell you because then you'd know 132 00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:10,560 what the tell is and you'd hide the tell from me, 133 00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:12,562 and I wouldn't be able to tell. It's like-- 134 00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:14,172 - Wow, you ever thought about working for the CIA? 135 00:07:14,216 --> 00:07:16,261 - Yeah, actually, I'm waiting to hear back. 136 00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:18,263 - Hey, Asta. 137 00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:21,266 The doctor had me call Braddock to follow up on Harry's MRI. 138 00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,486 But they have no record of it. 139 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:27,098 - That's a mistake. So I'll take care of it. 140 00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:28,578 Thank you. 141 00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:30,537 ♪ 142 00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:32,234 - Why is she staring at you like that? 143 00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:35,367 What did you do? 144 00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:36,847 - Don't you have better things to do, Ellen? 145 00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:38,501 Maybe unpack the shipment of catheters 146 00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:39,720 that came in this morning? 147 00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,722 - Oh, right. The fun stuff. 148 00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:48,250 - Got my eye on you, Twelvetrees. 149 00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:59,740 ♪ 150 00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:01,568 - The power source is damaged. 151 00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:04,179 Built to provide energy for 5,000 years 152 00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:06,050 but apparently not built to withstand 153 00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:08,313 an unprotected fall into a crevasse. 154 00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:11,316 Certain alien races implant tiny transmitters 155 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,971 into human beings to monitor their activity. 156 00:08:14,015 --> 00:08:15,756 If I can find one of those, 157 00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:18,106 I can reverse engineer it to reboot my device. 158 00:08:28,682 --> 00:08:30,335 - Aah! Mmm. 159 00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:31,511 Yeah. 160 00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:35,558 - I heard you fell down a crevasse. 161 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,517 Did you find your radio? 162 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:40,476 - My radio is broken. 163 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,651 I'm trying to fix it. 164 00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:43,740 - Well, maybe I can help. 165 00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:46,351 - Ah-- - Is this it? 166 00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:48,658 - Don't touch that. 167 00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:51,487 You need... 168 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,315 To leave. 169 00:08:53,358 --> 00:08:55,709 - At least you're okay. 170 00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:59,234 - If Asta wasn't there, 171 00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:00,888 I would be dead. 172 00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:03,630 Except now she knows the truth about me. 173 00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,153 - You told her?! 174 00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:07,895 I thought this whole alien thing was just our secret. 175 00:09:07,938 --> 00:09:09,940 - It stopped being a secret 176 00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:13,422 when you told your little friend over there 177 00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:14,858 in the head covering. 178 00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:16,686 - She must have followed me. Don't worry. 179 00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:19,384 She's not gonna tell anyone. 180 00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:21,561 She swore to Allah. 181 00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:23,388 - Allah knows?! 182 00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:25,260 How many people have you told? 183 00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:31,396 - Are you trying to cut me out? 184 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,703 'Cause if it wasn't for me, you'd be in Georgia by now. 185 00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:36,576 I made this truce happen. I want in. 186 00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:37,925 - You are so pushy. 187 00:09:37,968 --> 00:09:40,667 - Oh, looks like aliens 188 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:43,191 are also put off by strong women. 189 00:09:43,974 --> 00:09:46,368 Get used to it. We're not going anywhere. 190 00:09:48,936 --> 00:09:50,328 What are you hiding under there? 191 00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:52,374 - I covered it for a reason. 192 00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,681 - It's his radio so he can contact his people. 193 00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:56,552 But it's broken. So he's trying to fix it. 194 00:09:57,945 --> 00:09:59,860 - Why can't you just go home on your spaceship? 195 00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:05,648 They took it, didn't they? 196 00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,432 - How did you know that? 197 00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:10,566 - Must be the government. That means they're after you. 198 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,481 It could be any of the agencies. 199 00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:14,918 But it's probably "Men in Black." 200 00:10:14,962 --> 00:10:16,964 It's a top-secret agency 201 00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:19,793 that monitors alien activity on Earth. 202 00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,795 - But they don't always wear black, 203 00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,318 and they're not only men. 204 00:10:24,798 --> 00:10:28,062 - Then why do they call them "Men in Black"? 205 00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:29,933 - Because it's cooler than calling them 206 00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:31,718 "People in Clothes." 207 00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:34,285 - - It's pretty obvious. 208 00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:36,461 - I'm not worried. 209 00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:41,249 Once I fix my radio, 210 00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:42,946 they won't be a problem. 211 00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,208 I'm just missing a part. 212 00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:45,775 - Have you tried the hardware store? 213 00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:47,211 They have everything. 214 00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:50,040 My dad even bought a pair of pajamas there. 215 00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:53,783 - Unless you know someone who has been in contact 216 00:10:53,827 --> 00:10:54,958 with other aliens, then I'm-- 217 00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:57,961 what is the expression? 218 00:10:58,005 --> 00:11:01,312 "Shit out of luck." 219 00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:03,793 - If you don't stop using that kind of language around us, 220 00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:05,795 we're gonna have to wash your mouth out with soap. 221 00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,101 - Go ahead. I like soap. 222 00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:08,929 I eat it all the time. 223 00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:11,671 Shit, ass, piss, dink. 224 00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:13,803 Where is the soap? I'm so hungry. 225 00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:19,374 - Wait, I know where you can go to find alien stuff. 226 00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:25,119 - Oh. 227 00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,866 - Hey! Where are you going? 228 00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:34,694 - I need to go pick up 229 00:11:34,737 --> 00:11:37,435 a missing piece for my radio. 230 00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:38,698 - No. 231 00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:41,744 You are not driving with one leg. 232 00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,790 Whoa! 233 00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:45,530 Your leg grew back. 234 00:11:45,574 --> 00:11:47,445 - Just like I said it would. 235 00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:52,146 Now I have got to go. 236 00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:53,321 - Okay. 237 00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:55,802 Even as a pretend doctor, you have to know 238 00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:57,717 that the medication still stays in your system. 239 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,720 - I just took more. I'll be fine. 240 00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:07,552 Which one is my truck? 241 00:12:07,596 --> 00:12:09,250 - Okay. 242 00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:11,426 Give me these. 243 00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:13,558 I will drive you. 244 00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:15,735 Where are we going? 245 00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:18,128 Wow. We're really gonna do this. 246 00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,568 ♪ 247 00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:25,135 - Are they supposed to be me? 248 00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:29,139 My people are not a costume. 249 00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,273 - Welcome to my life. 250 00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:38,192 Oh, this is gonna be fun. 251 00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:48,245 - Kind of cool that I'm here 252 00:12:48,289 --> 00:12:50,334 with an actual alien. 253 00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:51,683 I feel special. 254 00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:54,599 - You're not special. You're common. 255 00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:55,862 - That's oddly less offensive now 256 00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:57,864 that I know you're from outer space. 257 00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:00,736 - Here you go. 258 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:01,955 - Thank you. 259 00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:06,350 Okay. So what now? 260 00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:12,356 - Our ancestors had teachers. 261 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:16,621 The engineering knowledge came from the extraterrestrials. 262 00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:18,406 - Finally, a little credit. 263 00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:20,495 I like this high-haired gentleman. 264 00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:23,063 - ♪ He's told us not to blow it ♪ 265 00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:25,935 ♪ 'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile ♪ 266 00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:28,416 ♪ He told me let the children lose it ♪ 267 00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:30,679 - The Moon landing was a sham. 268 00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:33,595 It was all filmed on a soundstage by Kubrick. 269 00:13:33,638 --> 00:13:36,250 - The astronauts did land on the Moon. 270 00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:37,729 - Good. 271 00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:40,689 - And their bodies were taken over before they returned. 272 00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:42,212 - What? 273 00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:44,780 - And we find evidence of this all around the world. 274 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,783 - Mayans, everyone talks about their calendar, 275 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,742 but they never gave credit for their day planner. 276 00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:53,658 - We have the Grays. - Insidious assholes. 277 00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:56,879 - The Arcturians. - Jerks, so cheap. 278 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,315 - Little Green Men. 279 00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:01,623 - They are cute, but they so know it. 280 00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:03,886 - The Mantis. - One of them owes me money. 281 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:08,108 - And the Blue Avians. 282 00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:09,761 - They're actually very nice. 283 00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:19,249 ♪ 284 00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:24,254 - Well, don't you two look cozy? 285 00:14:24,298 --> 00:14:27,344 - Hello, Sheriff. 286 00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:29,738 Do you have anything you want to say to me? 287 00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:32,654 - Well, I don't know. 288 00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:34,395 Do you have anything you want to say to me? 289 00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:38,486 - In that case, yes. 290 00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:40,009 Have a good day. 291 00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:42,272 Goodbye, Lewis. I'll see you on Thursday. 292 00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:46,886 - ♪ Walked out on over the plains ♪ 293 00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:48,800 - Thursday. 294 00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:50,324 What's Thursday? 295 00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:51,934 - We're having lunch. 296 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:54,067 - She's sitting here probably trash-talking me, 297 00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:57,679 and you buying her lunch? I see how it is. 298 00:14:57,722 --> 00:14:59,159 - She didn't say anything. 299 00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:02,989 In fact, she mostly listened. You could use that. 300 00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:05,643 - What is that supposed to mean? 301 00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:08,733 - Your relationship with Liv reminds me of me and your mom 302 00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:10,474 before she up and left me. 303 00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:12,520 - You mean when she died? 304 00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:14,609 - I'll never forgive her for that. 305 00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:17,873 Your mother was sharp. She always challenged me. 306 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,353 When I messed up, 307 00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:20,789 she wouldn't let me off the hook 308 00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:22,834 until I took steps to fix it. 309 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,490 You might want to think about that one. 310 00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:29,145 Order me a burger. Be right back. 311 00:15:29,189 --> 00:15:30,364 Oh. 312 00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:32,496 - Hey, hey, hey. Dad, Dad. 313 00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:35,369 Hey, hey! It's okay to ask for help. 314 00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:37,066 - Look who's talking. 315 00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:47,033 ♪ 316 00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:50,036 - ♪ If you think what you got is enough ♪ 317 00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:51,994 ♪ Then God gonna call your bluff ♪ 318 00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:54,954 ♪ You got a long road ahead 319 00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:57,913 ♪ Longer than you think 320 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,437 ♪ A long road ahead 321 00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:12,406 - Sam's toxicology results are in. 322 00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:15,278 Botulinum Toxin A levels are through the roof. 323 00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:17,672 Sam was poisoned. 324 00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:20,370 Maybe with insulin as the method of delivery, 325 00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:23,808 all he or she would need to do is inject the toxin 326 00:16:23,852 --> 00:16:26,724 into a single insulin vial 327 00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:29,771 and wait for Sam to use it. 328 00:16:33,775 --> 00:16:35,646 - ♪ Ooh 329 00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:38,998 - Son of a bitch. 330 00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:41,174 - ♪ Wake up in the morning 331 00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:44,046 ♪ Rise and shine 332 00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:47,484 ♪ Wake up in the morning, rise and shine ♪ 333 00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:51,749 ♪ Wake up in the morning, rise and shine ♪ 334 00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:53,621 - Hey, Sheriff, have a seat. 335 00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:55,971 I'll be with you in about ten. 336 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,842 - Yeah, well, I ain't here on grooming business. 337 00:16:57,886 --> 00:17:00,497 I'm here on official sheriff's business. 338 00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,064 I see you do Botox injections. 339 00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,805 - Yeah. 340 00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:06,851 You'll need about 20 units for that furrowed brow. 341 00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:08,114 - Well, I got news for you. 342 00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:10,942 I like to furrow, and I like the lines. 343 00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:12,596 Abigail Hodges, you're under the arrest 344 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,598 for the murder of Sam Hodges. 345 00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:16,078 - What?! What are you talking about? 346 00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:17,384 - I'll tell you what I'm talking about. 347 00:17:17,427 --> 00:17:19,168 You see, I went through your phone records, 348 00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:20,604 and I found repeated calls, 349 00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:22,606 and I mean a shit ton of them, to one number. 350 00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:25,522 You know who it belonged to? Thomas Hoffman. 351 00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:27,785 - Okay, fine. 352 00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:29,265 We are casually seeing each other. 353 00:17:29,309 --> 00:17:31,137 But are you gonna arrest me for having a social life? 354 00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:32,268 Can't a widow move on? 355 00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:33,704 - Well, of course, a widow can move on. 356 00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:35,793 The only problem is those calls-- 357 00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:38,796 they started way before Sam died. 358 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,581 You see, I think you wanted to get rid of Sam 359 00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:41,625 'cause you was having an affair. 360 00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:42,800 That's motive. 361 00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,585 - Oh, now just hang on a second-- 362 00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:46,108 - All you needed was high levels of botulism, 363 00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:48,023 which you clearly had access to. 364 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,894 Then you took that poison, and you put it 365 00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:51,287 in Sam's insulin bottle. And then from there, 366 00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:52,897 it was a ticking timebomb just waiting to go off. 367 00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:54,334 - No, just-- - And it finally did. 368 00:17:54,377 --> 00:17:55,726 Turn around and put your hands behind your back. 369 00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:56,858 - Sheriff. - Turn around. 370 00:17:56,901 --> 00:17:58,381 You have the right to remain silent. 371 00:17:58,425 --> 00:17:59,730 Anything you say can and will be used 372 00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,123 against you in a court of law. 373 00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:02,864 You got the right to an attorney. 374 00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:04,344 If you cannot afford an attorney, 375 00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:06,694 I'd be surprised because this salon is bangin'. 376 00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:10,219 - ♪ Ooh, ooh 377 00:18:14,484 --> 00:18:16,051 - What is it you're looking for 378 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,140 at an alien experiencer panel? 379 00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:20,055 - I'll know when I see it. 380 00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:29,195 ♪ 381 00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:33,112 - Thank you. Hi, I'm Peter Bach. 382 00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:35,026 Most of you know me from my podcast 383 00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:37,159 as "The Alien Tracker." 384 00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:39,205 I have spent 15 years 385 00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:42,512 working at the Carl Sagan Center at SETI. 386 00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:44,297 I've been a government consultant. 387 00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,864 And if you've read my books, you'll know I possess 388 00:18:46,908 --> 00:18:49,737 a special skill set that makes aliens fear me. 389 00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:52,914 And, of course, I had my own encounter, 390 00:18:52,957 --> 00:18:55,917 which was, well, 391 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,354 terrifying to say the least. 392 00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,487 So it's my honest belief 393 00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:03,098 that aliens walk amongst us. 394 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,883 And my mission has become to find aliens, 395 00:19:05,927 --> 00:19:07,929 to trap them, 396 00:19:07,972 --> 00:19:10,192 and, well... 397 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:17,199 One shot of this... 398 00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:20,420 10,000 volts, I can knock out an elephant. 399 00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:23,727 - You okay? 400 00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:25,773 - Yes. 401 00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:27,470 I'm not an elephant. 402 00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:30,386 - I also found that talking about my encounter 403 00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:33,215 helped me feel a sense of control. 404 00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:36,218 And I'd like you to think of this as a safe forum 405 00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:38,046 where you can do the same. 406 00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:39,961 So please, come on up 407 00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:42,093 and share with the room 408 00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:43,921 with no judgment, 409 00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:45,880 so we can all hear about your experiences. 410 00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:51,712 - I was driving home late one night 411 00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:54,149 when this blue light 412 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,412 beamed through the roof of my car. 413 00:19:56,456 --> 00:19:58,719 - I woke with these triangular cuts... 414 00:19:58,762 --> 00:20:00,111 - I was paralyzed. 415 00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:02,766 - And lesions on my stomach and across my back. 416 00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:04,464 - It was horrible. 417 00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:05,552 - Um... 418 00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:07,684 - It's etched on my brain forever. 419 00:20:07,728 --> 00:20:11,035 - They strapped me to this cold, 420 00:20:11,079 --> 00:20:13,429 hard metal surface. 421 00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:15,083 - They're monsters. - And... 422 00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:16,432 - And they are here to kill us. 423 00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:20,219 - Took this long tubular rod 424 00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:23,918 and they put it in-- 425 00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:26,268 in my-- 426 00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:32,231 - He was going to say his asshole. 427 00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:34,320 - One night, a few months ago, 428 00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:37,714 my ex-husband and I were fighting, 429 00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:40,543 which is sort of a usual thing for us. 430 00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:42,458 Um... 431 00:20:42,502 --> 00:20:44,678 I finally decided I'd had enough, 432 00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:46,288 so I ran out, 433 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:48,290 but I wasn't sure 434 00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:50,684 if I was doing the right thing. 435 00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:54,383 And then I saw it. 436 00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:58,518 It was a fire in the sky, 437 00:20:58,561 --> 00:21:00,433 like a guiding light. 438 00:21:02,348 --> 00:21:05,307 It gave me strength. 439 00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:07,396 Strength to move on and never look back. 440 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,442 ♪ 441 00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:11,400 Months later, I came into contact 442 00:21:11,444 --> 00:21:14,795 with who I now know was the occupant of that UFO. 443 00:21:16,144 --> 00:21:17,667 Something about him 444 00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:20,844 made me feel safe 445 00:21:20,888 --> 00:21:23,325 and not alone. 446 00:21:24,195 --> 00:21:27,155 And I know that that's not what you all have experienced. 447 00:21:27,198 --> 00:21:29,331 But trust me, 448 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:32,203 based on my encounter, 449 00:21:32,247 --> 00:21:34,293 I don't think they're monsters. 450 00:21:36,382 --> 00:21:38,906 I think some of them are here to do good. 451 00:21:44,955 --> 00:21:46,740 - Nope! 452 00:21:47,697 --> 00:21:49,873 - Wow. 453 00:21:49,917 --> 00:21:51,310 Abigail Hodges. 454 00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:53,312 Who would have thought? - Ha. 455 00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:56,184 - Well, congratulations on solving the case. 456 00:21:56,227 --> 00:21:57,359 You must be happy. 457 00:21:57,403 --> 00:21:59,187 - Yeah, well, you know, a man died. 458 00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:01,102 So there really isn't very much to be happy about. 459 00:22:01,145 --> 00:22:04,323 - Of course. I just meant-- 460 00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:06,847 well, you did use up a lot of resources 461 00:22:06,890 --> 00:22:08,109 dragging the lake. 462 00:22:08,152 --> 00:22:09,893 Like, a tremendous amount actually 463 00:22:09,937 --> 00:22:12,766 that I'm still trying to justify to the town council. 464 00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:15,464 Probably can't afford to have Patience Family Day 465 00:22:15,508 --> 00:22:16,770 this year on the town green. 466 00:22:16,813 --> 00:22:19,250 But hey, you got to the bottom it. 467 00:22:19,294 --> 00:22:21,601 - Uh-huh. - That's what's important. 468 00:22:21,644 --> 00:22:23,037 - Yeah, that's right. That's what's important. 469 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:26,083 Thank you. 470 00:22:26,127 --> 00:22:28,477 - Okay. - Yeah. 471 00:22:38,052 --> 00:22:41,708 - Hello to you, Jay. What can I get for you? 472 00:22:41,751 --> 00:22:44,363 We have a happy hour special on IPAs. 473 00:22:44,885 --> 00:22:48,497 - Are you offering me a drink? I'm not even 18 yet. 474 00:22:48,541 --> 00:22:51,544 - I meant to offer you a juice 475 00:22:51,587 --> 00:22:54,285 in an opaque mug. 476 00:22:54,329 --> 00:22:56,026 - Well, actually, I just came in to ask 477 00:22:56,070 --> 00:22:57,985 if I could interview you for the school paper. 478 00:22:58,028 --> 00:23:00,683 Everyone in town is talking about the rescue. 479 00:23:02,816 --> 00:23:05,645 I'm so sick of people making a big deal about this. 480 00:23:05,688 --> 00:23:07,821 You don't have to put me on a pedestal. 481 00:23:07,864 --> 00:23:09,388 - It won't take long, 482 00:23:09,431 --> 00:23:11,041 and I'm only doing it for the extra credit. 483 00:23:11,085 --> 00:23:14,001 - Oh, well, in that case. 484 00:23:16,003 --> 00:23:17,308 - Thanks. 485 00:23:17,352 --> 00:23:20,094 It's only a few questions. 486 00:23:20,137 --> 00:23:21,269 - Ask away. 487 00:23:21,312 --> 00:23:23,489 - All right. 488 00:23:23,532 --> 00:23:26,535 So you were an Olympic skier. 489 00:23:27,667 --> 00:23:30,191 What was it like to wipe out 490 00:23:30,234 --> 00:23:32,193 and lose in front of the whole world? 491 00:23:32,236 --> 00:23:34,891 ♪ 492 00:23:34,935 --> 00:23:36,197 - Not awesome. 493 00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:39,809 - Would you consider yourself a fallen hero 494 00:23:39,853 --> 00:23:41,985 because you were a hero and then you fell? 495 00:23:42,029 --> 00:23:45,467 - Hmm. Mmm. 496 00:23:45,511 --> 00:23:48,862 Um, I don't know. I thought this interview 497 00:23:48,905 --> 00:23:52,518 was supposed to be about the rescue thing. 498 00:23:52,561 --> 00:23:54,563 - I'm establishing background. - Cool. 499 00:23:54,607 --> 00:23:56,478 - So what happened to your hand? 500 00:23:56,522 --> 00:23:57,653 - Fractured it. 501 00:23:57,697 --> 00:24:00,569 First time I fell down the crevasse. 502 00:24:00,613 --> 00:24:01,918 - You fell down a crevasse? 503 00:24:01,962 --> 00:24:05,356 - Yeah. What did you think happened? 504 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:06,793 - I don't know. 505 00:24:06,836 --> 00:24:09,143 I thought you were stuck on top of the mountain. 506 00:24:09,186 --> 00:24:11,188 You climbed out with your hand looking like that? 507 00:24:11,232 --> 00:24:13,626 - Well, yeah. Kind of had to. 508 00:24:13,669 --> 00:24:15,541 I was 30 feet down. 509 00:24:15,584 --> 00:24:17,325 Asta and Harry were down even further. 510 00:24:17,368 --> 00:24:18,761 I knew any rescue effort would have to wait 511 00:24:18,805 --> 00:24:20,328 until the storm had passed, 512 00:24:20,371 --> 00:24:23,374 at which point, it would be too late 513 00:24:23,418 --> 00:24:25,942 as we would have all gone into hypothermia 514 00:24:25,986 --> 00:24:28,423 and be dead. 515 00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:29,816 - Asta could have died? 516 00:24:32,253 --> 00:24:34,473 - Yeah. She could have. 517 00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:38,259 I mean, we all could have died actually. 518 00:24:38,302 --> 00:24:39,521 We're pretty lucky. 519 00:24:39,565 --> 00:24:42,176 ♪ 520 00:24:42,219 --> 00:24:44,570 - You know what, I, um, 521 00:24:44,613 --> 00:24:47,573 I think I'll take that juice in the opaque mug now. 522 00:24:49,662 --> 00:24:52,229 - You bitch, I almost lost you. 523 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,885 - Ow--oh. 524 00:24:55,929 --> 00:24:58,714 Oh, I'm okay. 525 00:24:59,976 --> 00:25:01,369 - I just feel like-- 526 00:25:01,412 --> 00:25:03,763 you should probably, like, buy me a drink or something 527 00:25:03,806 --> 00:25:07,593 'cause I'm like--uh, my nerves are like fried eggs. 528 00:25:08,594 --> 00:25:10,247 - We're gonna do two sodas. 529 00:25:10,291 --> 00:25:12,249 - One with vodka. 530 00:25:12,293 --> 00:25:13,686 - When I woke up, 531 00:25:13,729 --> 00:25:16,079 I had no idea where I was. 532 00:25:16,123 --> 00:25:18,734 I mean, one minute, I was in bed, 533 00:25:18,778 --> 00:25:21,563 and the next minute, I was lying in a ditch 534 00:25:21,607 --> 00:25:23,260 by the side of the road. 535 00:25:23,304 --> 00:25:25,480 And they put something in me. 536 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:27,656 Look. 537 00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:31,181 I don't know why, but they're following me. 538 00:25:31,225 --> 00:25:33,357 They're listening. 539 00:25:33,401 --> 00:25:35,185 Look, you can see it. 540 00:25:38,972 --> 00:25:42,105 - Alien technology. That's it. 541 00:25:42,149 --> 00:25:49,243 ♪ 542 00:25:49,765 --> 00:25:52,159 - Hey, honey. - Honey. 543 00:25:53,769 --> 00:25:55,902 - Why do I smell fish? 544 00:25:55,945 --> 00:25:57,904 - Because I made branzino. 545 00:26:02,430 --> 00:26:04,345 - Tonight's supposed to be taco night. 546 00:26:04,911 --> 00:26:06,652 Does that mean that tacos are moving to tomorrow night? 547 00:26:06,695 --> 00:26:08,305 Because that's-- that's spaghetti. 548 00:26:08,349 --> 00:26:10,917 - Will you relax, just try to get out of your comfort zone? 549 00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:12,005 - Yeah, but-- 550 00:26:12,048 --> 00:26:13,615 - Max is at the movies with Sahar. 551 00:26:13,659 --> 00:26:16,139 So I invited a friend over with her husband. 552 00:26:17,619 --> 00:26:20,013 - I want you to meet them. You're gonna love them. 553 00:26:20,056 --> 00:26:21,275 - Yep. 554 00:26:21,318 --> 00:26:22,972 Maybe we could do fish tacos. 555 00:26:25,758 --> 00:26:27,455 - This is my husband, Ben. 556 00:26:27,498 --> 00:26:29,588 Ben, this is Sarah and Richard Houston. 557 00:26:29,631 --> 00:26:31,328 - Oh, come on. We're friends. 558 00:26:31,372 --> 00:26:33,635 You can call him Dick. 559 00:26:33,679 --> 00:26:35,376 - Well, we're having fish. 560 00:26:38,858 --> 00:26:41,643 - I want to thank you all for coming and for sharing. 561 00:26:41,687 --> 00:26:42,818 Come down and visit me. 562 00:26:42,862 --> 00:26:44,733 We have a booth on the con floor. 563 00:26:44,777 --> 00:26:47,518 A lot of cool merchandise. Thank you. 564 00:26:51,348 --> 00:26:53,046 - Excuse me. 565 00:26:53,089 --> 00:26:54,874 - Wait. Harry, where are you going? 566 00:26:58,704 --> 00:27:00,314 - Alien Tracker, hold up. 567 00:27:00,357 --> 00:27:01,794 - Alien Tracker! 568 00:27:01,837 --> 00:27:03,404 - Can I get an autograph? 569 00:27:05,580 --> 00:27:06,712 - I'm sorry. Excuse me. 570 00:27:06,755 --> 00:27:08,757 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 571 00:27:13,414 --> 00:27:15,590 - Yeah. You're welcome. 572 00:27:18,158 --> 00:27:25,295 ♪ 573 00:27:34,043 --> 00:27:35,392 - Sorry. It's my turn. 574 00:27:38,134 --> 00:27:39,701 Do you mind? 575 00:27:39,745 --> 00:27:42,269 - I'm going to cut that alien technology out of your arm, 576 00:27:42,312 --> 00:27:43,749 and then I'm going to leave. 577 00:27:45,751 --> 00:27:49,537 - What the hell! - Quiet. 578 00:27:49,580 --> 00:27:51,582 - Aah, it's not alien! It's a BB. 579 00:27:51,626 --> 00:27:52,845 - What? 580 00:27:52,888 --> 00:27:54,194 - A BB got lodged in my arm when I was a kid. 581 00:27:54,237 --> 00:27:56,370 Okay, I lied. - What is wrong with you? 582 00:27:56,413 --> 00:27:58,067 - You're the one with the knife, 583 00:27:58,111 --> 00:28:00,200 you freakin' psycho. 584 00:28:01,636 --> 00:28:02,898 - Ugh! 585 00:28:05,335 --> 00:28:06,946 - What the hell is going on? 586 00:28:06,989 --> 00:28:08,599 What are you looking for? 587 00:28:08,643 --> 00:28:09,992 And don't lie. 588 00:28:10,036 --> 00:28:11,690 I think I deserve at least that. 589 00:28:15,171 --> 00:28:17,913 - When the Grays abduct a human, 590 00:28:17,957 --> 00:28:21,221 they leave alien technology implanted on their body. 591 00:28:22,222 --> 00:28:24,093 It is a transmitter. 592 00:28:24,137 --> 00:28:26,748 It is a way for them to track the victim. 593 00:28:26,792 --> 00:28:28,837 I need to find one. 594 00:28:29,838 --> 00:28:31,753 - Is that why we're here? 595 00:28:31,797 --> 00:28:35,061 So you can rip an implant out of some poor person's arm? 596 00:28:35,104 --> 00:28:36,540 - It's for my radio. 597 00:28:36,584 --> 00:28:40,240 The implant is made of an alien metal. 598 00:28:40,283 --> 00:28:41,720 I need it. 599 00:28:47,377 --> 00:28:53,253 ♪ 600 00:28:53,296 --> 00:28:55,821 The Alien Tracker is after me. 601 00:28:55,864 --> 00:28:58,911 He can see me like Max. - I don't understand. 602 00:28:58,954 --> 00:29:00,521 - The rest is self-explanatory. 603 00:29:00,564 --> 00:29:03,437 His name is Alien Tracker. 604 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,919 - Maybe we should go then. - Yes. 605 00:29:08,137 --> 00:29:09,443 - It was, like-- 606 00:29:09,486 --> 00:29:10,836 I mean, he designed the whole thing himself, 607 00:29:10,879 --> 00:29:12,968 the whole thing. He made it all on his own. 608 00:29:13,012 --> 00:29:14,448 - Oh, I'm so sad. 609 00:29:14,491 --> 00:29:15,797 I thought Max was gonna be here tonight. 610 00:29:15,841 --> 00:29:17,843 We're so looking forward to meeting him. 611 00:29:17,886 --> 00:29:19,453 Right, honey? 612 00:29:19,496 --> 00:29:21,803 - Oh, yeah. Yeah, I love kids. 613 00:29:21,847 --> 00:29:23,979 We want them, but the doctor said 614 00:29:24,023 --> 00:29:26,112 Sarah's probably too old. 615 00:29:26,155 --> 00:29:27,461 - I'm sorry. 616 00:29:27,504 --> 00:29:30,029 I'm sure that it will happen for you two. 617 00:29:31,465 --> 00:29:33,772 - Meanwhile, enjoy the freedom 'cause kids are a lot. 618 00:29:33,815 --> 00:29:35,338 - Mmm. 619 00:29:35,382 --> 00:29:36,775 - That's why it's so nice having some adult time. 620 00:29:36,818 --> 00:29:38,167 Right, honey? 621 00:29:38,211 --> 00:29:40,517 - Mmm. Fun fact, more people died 622 00:29:40,561 --> 00:29:43,085 choking on branzino bones per year than heart disease. 623 00:29:43,129 --> 00:29:44,826 ♪ 624 00:29:44,870 --> 00:29:47,176 - Honey, could you help me with dessert? 625 00:29:50,614 --> 00:29:52,878 Sweetie, you haven't said two words all night. 626 00:29:54,357 --> 00:29:56,272 I'm pulling all of the weight here. 627 00:29:56,316 --> 00:29:57,839 - Well, I'm sorry. 628 00:29:57,883 --> 00:30:00,233 I think not having tacos has kind of thrown me off my game. 629 00:30:00,276 --> 00:30:01,712 Look, I'm trying. 630 00:30:01,756 --> 00:30:03,802 - You spent the last half hour playing medical examiner 631 00:30:03,845 --> 00:30:04,933 with your fish bones. 632 00:30:04,977 --> 00:30:06,239 - Well, if it makes you feel any better, 633 00:30:06,282 --> 00:30:08,067 I swallowed most of them. 634 00:30:08,110 --> 00:30:09,546 - Uh, it doesn't make me feel better. 635 00:30:09,590 --> 00:30:10,809 - Okay. I feel terrible. 636 00:30:13,028 --> 00:30:14,900 I really like Sarah and Dick. 637 00:30:14,943 --> 00:30:17,511 And it's nice to have couple friends who we can 638 00:30:17,554 --> 00:30:20,514 have over for dinner. Can you try? 639 00:30:20,557 --> 00:30:23,691 - Okay. Look, I'll be more sociable. 640 00:30:23,734 --> 00:30:26,781 I'll talk to Dick about candle making. 641 00:30:26,825 --> 00:30:29,175 - Yeah, sure. 642 00:30:29,218 --> 00:30:32,395 Or something else. 643 00:30:32,439 --> 00:30:35,485 - What, you don't--what, you don't like my candles? 644 00:30:35,529 --> 00:30:37,313 - No, I mean, of course. 645 00:30:37,357 --> 00:30:40,882 I... love them. 646 00:30:40,926 --> 00:30:42,710 It's just-- 647 00:30:42,753 --> 00:30:45,408 it's not really exciting dinner conversation. 648 00:30:45,931 --> 00:30:47,280 - Hmm. 649 00:30:47,323 --> 00:30:50,849 Not sure I want to live in that world, but okay. 650 00:30:50,892 --> 00:30:52,938 - Just leave the baby talk to me, okay? 651 00:30:52,981 --> 00:30:54,243 I'm the mother-to-be. 652 00:30:54,287 --> 00:30:55,549 - Well, that's not what the doctor said. 653 00:30:55,592 --> 00:30:57,812 - Hey, listen, asshole, just do your job. 654 00:30:57,856 --> 00:30:59,118 Keep them engaged 655 00:30:59,161 --> 00:31:00,728 so I can go on a little reconnaissance mission. 656 00:31:00,771 --> 00:31:02,991 I did an Internet deep dive and found pictures of Ben 657 00:31:03,035 --> 00:31:05,820 making these shitty candles. Ask him about it. 658 00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:07,213 - Hope everyone's in the mood for pie. 659 00:31:07,256 --> 00:31:09,302 - Oh. - Can't wait. 660 00:31:09,345 --> 00:31:10,999 May I use your powder room first? 661 00:31:11,043 --> 00:31:12,783 - Of course. 662 00:31:14,742 --> 00:31:15,917 - I have to say, 663 00:31:15,961 --> 00:31:18,224 these are really, really nice candles. 664 00:31:18,267 --> 00:31:20,400 What are they made of? Soy? 665 00:31:20,443 --> 00:31:21,923 - Well, actually, there are--yeah, 666 00:31:21,967 --> 00:31:24,926 there are several different kinds of, um-- 667 00:31:24,970 --> 00:31:26,362 not sure. 668 00:31:27,146 --> 00:31:29,278 I don't know. 669 00:31:29,322 --> 00:31:31,802 Just a regular store-bought candle. 670 00:31:37,112 --> 00:31:43,814 ♪ 671 00:31:43,858 --> 00:31:46,078 - Mmm. 672 00:31:46,121 --> 00:31:47,862 - Okay, um, keep moving. 673 00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:50,473 I got this. 674 00:31:51,039 --> 00:31:53,999 Oh, my God. You're the Alien Tracker. 675 00:31:54,042 --> 00:31:57,698 I have listened to every episode of your podcast. 676 00:31:57,741 --> 00:32:00,701 I was wondering if maybe I could get a selfie with you? 677 00:32:00,744 --> 00:32:02,355 - And this crazy dude came in 678 00:32:02,398 --> 00:32:05,662 and tried to stab me with a scalpel. 679 00:32:06,141 --> 00:32:09,275 Why are you just staring at me? Are you gonna help me? 680 00:32:09,318 --> 00:32:10,667 Can we just go look for him? 681 00:32:13,018 --> 00:32:14,671 - I'm not crazy. 682 00:32:14,715 --> 00:32:18,762 - Hmm, hmm, hmm. - Hey, can I help you? 683 00:32:18,806 --> 00:32:21,200 - I need to hide. Can you leave? 684 00:32:21,243 --> 00:32:22,853 - What are you hiding from? 685 00:32:24,507 --> 00:32:26,727 - The Alien Tracker. He's chasing me. 686 00:32:30,426 --> 00:32:33,647 He thinks I'm an alien. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. 687 00:32:33,690 --> 00:32:37,390 Um... He's a crazy guy. 688 00:32:37,433 --> 00:32:40,697 - Well, I have no problem hiding aliens. 689 00:32:41,829 --> 00:32:43,483 - Wait a minute. 690 00:32:43,526 --> 00:32:46,138 You are that hair guy, 691 00:32:46,181 --> 00:32:48,444 the one who knows all about ancient monuments. 692 00:32:48,488 --> 00:32:51,360 - Yeah, that's me. Would you like a signed copy? 693 00:32:53,406 --> 00:32:55,321 - I would rather have 694 00:32:55,364 --> 00:32:57,540 flower-shaped fruit. 695 00:33:04,983 --> 00:33:11,902 ♪ 696 00:33:54,423 --> 00:33:57,383 - Hey, what are you doing up here? 697 00:33:57,426 --> 00:33:59,472 - I know. I'm such a snoop, right? 698 00:33:59,515 --> 00:34:01,256 I just love your decorating style. 699 00:34:01,300 --> 00:34:03,432 I had to see what the rest of the house looked like. 700 00:34:03,476 --> 00:34:06,044 - You could have asked for a tour. 701 00:34:06,087 --> 00:34:11,049 ♪ 702 00:34:11,092 --> 00:34:14,530 - I'll be honest with you. 703 00:34:14,574 --> 00:34:16,880 This whole 704 00:34:16,924 --> 00:34:19,709 "not being able to have kids" thing 705 00:34:19,753 --> 00:34:22,364 is really hard. 706 00:34:22,408 --> 00:34:24,671 And I just wanted to see your son's room. 707 00:34:24,714 --> 00:34:26,890 - Oh. 708 00:34:26,934 --> 00:34:28,588 I'm sorry. 709 00:34:28,631 --> 00:34:30,111 - Yeah. 710 00:34:30,155 --> 00:34:32,200 - Just don't give up. 711 00:34:32,244 --> 00:34:34,028 Women are having babies older and older now. 712 00:34:34,072 --> 00:34:35,116 You just never know. 713 00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:37,771 - I'm actually not the problem. 714 00:34:37,814 --> 00:34:40,687 Dick only said that because he's so self-conscious. 715 00:34:40,730 --> 00:34:44,038 But he has very low motility. 716 00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:45,996 - Look, if you want to get a taste for it, 717 00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:47,824 you can babysit Max whenever you want. 718 00:34:47,868 --> 00:34:50,131 - Oh, I would love that. 719 00:34:51,350 --> 00:34:53,265 I'll take such good care of him. 720 00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:58,096 - What's interesting is that 721 00:34:58,139 --> 00:35:01,360 the masonry style of Delphi, Cuzco, 722 00:35:01,403 --> 00:35:05,059 or Sacsayhuamán are virtually identical, 723 00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:07,844 and they're considered "navels of the world" 724 00:35:07,888 --> 00:35:10,238 where deities descended from the sky 725 00:35:10,282 --> 00:35:13,546 and imparted knowledge to the local population. 726 00:35:13,589 --> 00:35:15,156 So those places 727 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:17,637 are on two opposite ends of the planet, 728 00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:19,943 and they have the same stories. 729 00:35:19,987 --> 00:35:21,728 So you have to wonder 730 00:35:21,771 --> 00:35:24,034 if these people had been visited 731 00:35:24,078 --> 00:35:25,688 by the same beings. 732 00:35:25,732 --> 00:35:29,170 And if so, then you have to ask the question, 733 00:35:29,214 --> 00:35:32,130 "Who were they? And where did they come from?" 734 00:35:33,305 --> 00:35:36,786 - You should be on television. - Okay. 735 00:35:36,830 --> 00:35:40,094 - I have to go. - I hope I didn't bore you. 736 00:35:40,138 --> 00:35:41,791 - No. 737 00:35:41,835 --> 00:35:43,880 You're out of fruit flowers. 738 00:35:43,924 --> 00:35:45,621 I left you the honeydew melon. 739 00:35:45,665 --> 00:35:48,102 They taste like old women's perfume. 740 00:35:51,149 --> 00:35:58,243 ♪ 741 00:36:02,290 --> 00:36:05,467 - Kate doesn't love the whole candle thing? 742 00:36:05,511 --> 00:36:07,643 - I accidentally spilled some wax on her head once. 743 00:36:07,687 --> 00:36:08,644 She lost some hair. 744 00:36:08,688 --> 00:36:09,906 - Yeah. - What are you gonna do? 745 00:36:09,950 --> 00:36:11,517 - Yeah, I get it. You know, 746 00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:14,694 Sarah can get pretty particular about the things I do too. 747 00:36:14,737 --> 00:36:15,999 - Mm-hmm. - So yeah. 748 00:36:16,043 --> 00:36:17,740 Very passionate, very passionate ladies. 749 00:36:17,784 --> 00:36:19,351 - Oh, that's-- that's one word for it. 750 00:36:23,355 --> 00:36:26,140 - Want to fire it up? Show you how it's done. 751 00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:28,316 - Yes, yes. - You sure? 752 00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:29,883 - Please, yeah, yeah, oh. 753 00:36:29,926 --> 00:36:31,189 - Oh. - Oh! 754 00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:32,973 - Oh. - Okay. 755 00:36:39,153 --> 00:36:41,677 I just find it pretty relaxing. 756 00:36:41,721 --> 00:36:43,070 - Yeah. 757 00:36:43,113 --> 00:36:47,335 - Helps me cope with the pressures of being mayor, 758 00:36:47,379 --> 00:36:50,077 especially after the town doctor was murdered. 759 00:36:52,253 --> 00:36:53,863 - That's horrible. 760 00:36:53,907 --> 00:36:55,996 - Yeah, yeah. 761 00:36:56,039 --> 00:36:57,519 We did just make an arrest though. 762 00:36:57,563 --> 00:37:00,087 And it was the first murder in Patience 763 00:37:00,130 --> 00:37:02,742 since, like, the 1800s. 764 00:37:02,785 --> 00:37:06,180 I've always wanted to say, you know, 765 00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:09,009 "Not on my watch, buddy." 766 00:37:09,052 --> 00:37:11,838 But yeah, it was-- 767 00:37:11,881 --> 00:37:13,274 it was on my watch. 768 00:37:16,408 --> 00:37:19,541 Think I might have been across the street when it happened. 769 00:37:19,585 --> 00:37:21,848 ♪ 770 00:37:21,891 --> 00:37:23,589 - Uh... 771 00:37:25,112 --> 00:37:27,070 - Do you like pumpkin spice? 772 00:37:30,073 --> 00:37:31,901 ♪ 773 00:37:31,945 --> 00:37:34,687 - Mmm. That was close. 774 00:37:34,730 --> 00:37:36,210 It's like everybody is talking about me 775 00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:38,081 like I'm some big hero... 776 00:37:38,125 --> 00:37:40,432 - ♪ Close to you 777 00:37:40,475 --> 00:37:43,043 - Except for the two people whose lives I actually saved 778 00:37:43,086 --> 00:37:46,568 that incidentally are both completely ignoring me. 779 00:37:48,048 --> 00:37:50,050 - ♪ Close to you 780 00:37:50,093 --> 00:37:52,270 - You know, I should be hanging out with my friend right now. 781 00:37:52,313 --> 00:37:54,097 - Bitch, I'm your friend. 782 00:37:54,141 --> 00:37:56,839 We're closer than you and Asta. 783 00:37:56,883 --> 00:37:58,972 We shared a boyfriend in high school. 784 00:37:59,015 --> 00:38:01,583 - You mean the guy that you slept with behind my back? 785 00:38:01,627 --> 00:38:03,542 - I grabbed his dick, and he was into it. 786 00:38:03,585 --> 00:38:05,500 So what am I supposed to do, say no? 787 00:38:05,544 --> 00:38:06,893 - Oh, yeah. Fair point. 788 00:38:08,373 --> 00:38:11,376 - It just, like, bothers me I can't get ahold of them. 789 00:38:11,419 --> 00:38:13,203 I've been texting all day. 790 00:38:13,247 --> 00:38:15,423 I don't know, maybe something happened to her. 791 00:38:15,467 --> 00:38:17,164 Maybe they're not okay. 792 00:38:17,207 --> 00:38:18,861 I don't know. It's kind of freaking me out. 793 00:38:18,905 --> 00:38:21,560 - Yeah, probably something bad did happen to her. 794 00:38:21,603 --> 00:38:23,431 I don't know. She probably got kidnapped 795 00:38:23,475 --> 00:38:25,041 or something or, like, people are after her 796 00:38:25,085 --> 00:38:28,175 and, like, she's in the back of a car, like, in a trunk, 797 00:38:28,218 --> 00:38:30,438 like, screaming and, like, pounding 798 00:38:30,482 --> 00:38:32,614 and, like-- or she could be dead. 799 00:38:32,658 --> 00:38:34,616 She could be dead in a ditch somewhere, like, 800 00:38:34,660 --> 00:38:35,922 covered in blood 801 00:38:35,965 --> 00:38:39,360 and, like, intestines are, like, trailing out-- 802 00:38:39,404 --> 00:38:40,970 - Is this supposed to help me feel better? 803 00:38:41,014 --> 00:38:42,363 - Okay. 804 00:38:42,407 --> 00:38:44,060 So we're gonna switch gears over to karaoke. 805 00:38:44,104 --> 00:38:47,673 First up, we have our own Liv Baker singing a song for us. 806 00:38:47,716 --> 00:38:51,372 Come on. 807 00:38:54,723 --> 00:38:56,943 ♪ 808 00:38:56,986 --> 00:39:02,252 - ♪ Oh, whoa 809 00:39:02,296 --> 00:39:04,385 ♪ It must have been cold there ♪ 810 00:39:04,429 --> 00:39:07,257 ♪ In my shadow 811 00:39:10,130 --> 00:39:12,915 ♪ To never have sunlight 812 00:39:12,959 --> 00:39:15,701 ♪ On your face 813 00:39:18,312 --> 00:39:22,969 ♪ You were content to let me shine ♪ 814 00:39:23,012 --> 00:39:26,233 ♪ That's your way 815 00:39:26,276 --> 00:39:30,542 ♪ You always walked a step behind ♪ 816 00:39:33,458 --> 00:39:36,504 - ♪ So I was the one with all the glory ♪ 817 00:39:38,027 --> 00:39:40,247 - What the hell is happening? 818 00:39:40,290 --> 00:39:43,076 - ♪ While you were the one 819 00:39:43,119 --> 00:39:46,427 ♪ With all the strength 820 00:39:48,951 --> 00:39:53,434 - ♪ A beautiful face without a name ♪ 821 00:39:53,478 --> 00:39:55,436 ♪ For so long 822 00:39:56,742 --> 00:40:00,398 ♪ A beautiful smile that hides the pain ♪ 823 00:40:03,531 --> 00:40:05,272 - ♪ Did you ever know 824 00:40:05,315 --> 00:40:08,928 ♪ That you're my hero 825 00:40:11,626 --> 00:40:15,674 ♪ And everything I would like to be? ♪ 826 00:40:19,242 --> 00:40:21,549 ♪ I can fly higher 827 00:40:21,593 --> 00:40:25,510 ♪ Than an eagle 828 00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:31,037 ♪ You are the wind beneath my wings ♪ 829 00:40:36,434 --> 00:40:38,000 - Okay. 830 00:40:44,137 --> 00:40:46,879 Guess I'm deputy again. 831 00:40:49,925 --> 00:40:56,802 ♪ 832 00:40:57,803 --> 00:40:59,413 - Oh, shit. 833 00:41:01,850 --> 00:41:04,113 I first learned the concept of two for one 834 00:41:04,157 --> 00:41:07,377 when there was a sale on day old baguettes at the market. 835 00:41:13,296 --> 00:41:15,734 But having this Alien Tracker in my grips 836 00:41:15,777 --> 00:41:18,127 and discovering he was implanted with the very chip 837 00:41:18,171 --> 00:41:20,782 I need is even more exciting 838 00:41:20,826 --> 00:41:23,524 than getting an extra two-foot-long crouton. 839 00:41:24,786 --> 00:41:26,092 Don't move. 840 00:41:26,135 --> 00:41:29,399 I'm taking that alien technology out of your neck. 841 00:41:29,443 --> 00:41:33,795 - No, wait. Where is my baby? 842 00:41:33,839 --> 00:41:34,883 - What baby? 843 00:41:34,927 --> 00:41:36,624 - The one you took out of my wife 844 00:41:36,668 --> 00:41:38,539 30 years ago on the bus. 845 00:41:38,583 --> 00:41:41,150 - We don't do that. That's the Greys. 846 00:41:41,194 --> 00:41:42,543 - You're a Grey. 847 00:41:42,587 --> 00:41:45,633 - How dare you! - Please don't take it out. 848 00:41:45,677 --> 00:41:48,549 It's the only way they can find me if they come back. 849 00:41:48,593 --> 00:41:50,899 It's the only way I'll ever meet my son. 850 00:41:52,684 --> 00:41:54,468 - They're not coming back for you. 851 00:41:55,469 --> 00:41:57,776 They already got what they wanted. 852 00:42:06,698 --> 00:42:08,134 - I recognize you. 853 00:42:08,177 --> 00:42:10,223 You were in that Experiencer Panel. 854 00:42:10,266 --> 00:42:11,441 - Mmm, yeah. 855 00:42:11,485 --> 00:42:13,182 - I heard what you said up there. 856 00:42:13,226 --> 00:42:16,272 It was very touching. But you should be careful. 857 00:42:17,883 --> 00:42:19,624 - What do you mean? - For all you know, 858 00:42:19,667 --> 00:42:22,931 your alien is a Christopher Columbus of the sky. 859 00:42:25,978 --> 00:42:33,115 ♪ 860 00:42:45,388 --> 00:42:52,221 ♪ 861 00:43:13,242 --> 00:43:16,071 - Let's go. I got what I needed. 862 00:43:16,115 --> 00:43:17,943 - Well, that makes me nervous. 863 00:43:17,986 --> 00:43:19,901 - Don't worry. I didn't hurt him. 864 00:43:21,033 --> 00:43:23,426 He was on his knees, thanking me. 865 00:43:23,470 --> 00:43:27,213 - You're a monster. - You're welcome. 866 00:43:30,042 --> 00:43:31,913 - There are no monsters. 867 00:43:32,653 --> 00:43:35,613 Beings do what needs to be done in order to survive. 868 00:43:49,931 --> 00:43:51,324 - Asta! 869 00:43:53,935 --> 00:43:56,068 - ♪ No bye, no aloha 870 00:43:56,111 --> 00:43:58,592 - Are you in there?! 871 00:43:58,636 --> 00:44:00,376 ♪ 872 00:44:00,420 --> 00:44:04,163 - ♪ Gone with a rock promoter ♪ 873 00:44:04,206 --> 00:44:10,212 ♪ 874 00:44:10,256 --> 00:44:13,781 ♪ A rock promoter 875 00:44:13,825 --> 00:44:16,349 - Aah! 876 00:44:16,392 --> 00:44:18,481 Ow, shit! 877 00:44:19,874 --> 00:44:22,050 - ♪ And now may die 878 00:44:26,446 --> 00:44:31,146 ♪ Oh, the treats 879 00:44:35,411 --> 00:44:37,587 ♪ Saw it on the wall 880 00:44:37,631 --> 00:44:41,243 ♪ "Motherhood means mental freeze" ♪ 881 00:44:43,332 --> 00:44:45,117 ♪ Freezeheads 882 00:44:46,684 --> 00:44:49,338 ♪ No aloha 883 00:44:51,732 --> 00:44:55,301 ♪ I know, I saw 884 00:44:55,344 --> 00:44:57,520 ♪ And now may die 885 00:45:16,670 --> 00:45:23,590 ♪