Previously on "Resident Alien"...
Ah!
I'm Goliath.
There is an alien race that's planning
to take over the Earth.
[alien screeches] - Wha...
I do not know who they are or what they are doing here.
It's dangerous.
I need to find this baby
so I can get the rest of Goliath's message.
An alien!
That baby belongs to me!
Come to me. [teeth chattering]
Run, baby!
And remember, look both ways when crossing the street.
I've got good news.
The resort company has officially put an offer
on the Grady land. - What resort?
You can't put a resort in Patience.
You were right about Ethan.
He's not an alien.
I think the real alien might still be in Patience.
[eerie music]
♪
When I first came to Earth,
I was forced to use Harry Vanderspeigle's body
to blend in.
But over time that body changed
from just being a way of hiding
to who I became.
And I am attached to it the way I was attached
to Asta and the way I still am to her memory.
She died a long time ago.
And after so many decades,
it's hard for me to shed this skin,
because it reminds me of the way things used to be
before everything changed.
[dramatic music]
♪
[Brown Bird's "Bilgewater"]
[laid-back acoustic strumming]
♪
Offspring on my planet do not form attachments.
That is a purely human trait.
So it was obviously the weaker human side of the baby
which made him listen to Max's friend,
that meat sack wrapped in children's clothing.
[sniffing]
She told him to run away from me.
But I have something she does not.
I speak the baby's language.
[imitating bird calls]
[birds chirping]
[water trickling]
I feel like Erin Brockovich,
testing water and solving crimes.
Maybe one day they'll make a movie about me.
Hmm, you know, if they do make a movie,
I want to play myself,
a handsome, rugged sheriff keeping the streets safe
in a quaint Colorado town, right,
until Bigfoot shows up to kill everybody.
But I recognize his beautiful soul,
and I teach him to speak English.
He teaches me how to play the guitar.
See, that's a movie.
That sounds like a movie that's about just you,
and it has nothing to do with environmental justice.
It's gotta do with America wanting to see me sing
a duet with Bigfoot.
My God. That's off the charts.
Yup.
This water's poison.
Maybe we should take a look at a map
and see what's upstream that could cause this.
No, police work ain't done with no map.
It's more tactile.
Police work is done in the real world.
Come on. Let's go.
Hey, you know what?
Maybe in my movie, I got a trusty sidekick, right,
who does all the paperwork.
And I'm just spitballing here, right,
but maybe she provides comic relief,
'cause she's always bumping into things.
You see? You see how I said "she" right?
That's 'cause I believe in equality. [chuckles]
Yes, you are a true champion for women everywhere.
♪
I need to talk to you.
I like Halloween!
I think it is funny that humans like decorating
with other dead humans.
I am pretending that this gentleman
worked at a grocery store before he was murdered.
Cool.
Look, I need more information on this alien race
that you said is trying to take over the Earth.
You know, I was on the internet the other day,
and there's something called Insectoids,
like a big, giant bug person alien thing.
I-I--what the hell?
I do not want to be squashed by a big bug person.
The internet is wrong.
Oh, okay.
Good.
No, the Insectoids, they do not squash.
They like to eat other beings
while they are still alive and struggling. [chuckles]
You're not helping.
There are so many alien races.
There are Tall Whites, Arcturians.
There are Blue Avians, which are very beautiful
if you are attracted to bird faces,
which, of course, I am.
I will not know which alien race is here until I receive
the rest of Goliath's message.
You can thank Max's stupid friend for interfering.
You can't blame Sahar.
She was just trying to take care of the baby.
I was taking care of it first.
It should have jumped into my arms
when I did my alien call.
Well, maybe your alien call doesn't work the way it used to
because you're not as alien as you used to be.
That is an awful thing to say.
Let's face it, Harry.
Every day you're here, you become more human.
It's inevitable.
I mean, look at what happened to Goliath.
He was an alien, and look how human he became.
No, I am an alien.
That is who I am on the inside.
Goliath was weak. I am not.
As long as I am on this planet,
I am going to be an alien who appreciates
other aliens with bird faces.
And hot, sexy worm breath,
and wind blowing through the feathers in their hair.
Thanks for nothing.
[door shuts]
[laughs]
"I do not wear my seat belt."
[laughs]
What?
What's this we looking at here, Deputy?
Oh, yeah, this is an impoundment pond.
It's how mining companies dispose and hide their waste.
In the middle of Mother Nature?
You mean to tell me all this here is toxic?
Yes, and legal.
All mining companies do it.
they just keep the waste in these manmade dams.
Hmm.
Unless...
Oh, yeah, see, there it is.
There's nothing I love more
than a perfectly timed "unless."
It's like--it's like a spoon being dipped into some soup.
Go ahead, bring that soup to my lips, Deputy.
Unless there's been a leak
and they've been trying to hide it.
Did I ever tell you you're brilliant, hmm?
No, sir.
You see, you remember how I didn't want
to just look at the map, right?
And then your brilliance allowed
my super brilliance to shine through.
Once again you are the hero of your own story.
Hey!
Do you wanna go to the comic book store after school
to buy the latest Dr. McNinja?
Ugh, the carefree life of a child.
Was I ever that young?
Sorry, I'm gonna be busy saving the world.
I'm going out to the woods after school.
I'm hoping the baby alien comes back to the RV.
Cool, I'll go with you and help.
No, thanks.
I can go by myself.
Look, I know you don't trust me
because I told Harry about the baby.
I promise I won't tell him this time.
Okay, but this is your last chance.
Nothing healthy, please.
Aw, come on, Max,
you gotta eat everything on your plate.
[tense music]
Aw, carrots?
It's good for you.
♪
How did she know your name?
Oh, I'm pretty famous around here
ever since I broke the taco record.
♪
Nothing here.
No alien baby.
This is horrible.
What if he never comes back?
I haven't even taught him to tie his shoes yet.
I wish I could make those sounds
Harry makes to lure him back.
[imitating bird calls]
Ow.
What's wrong?
My stomach, it hurts.
It can't be food poisoning. We just ate.
[panting]
Oh, no.
What?
Did you notice anything different
about that new lunch lady, Agnes?
She had less hair on her face than the other lunch ladies?
Yes, and her watch, that was no lunch lady watch.
It was military.
She might be MIB.
That's probably how she knew your name.
Maybe she put a tracking device in your food.
You need to poop it out.
I can't.
I only poop after breakfast
or when my mom takes me to the bookstore.
Then we have to speed things along.
Here.
That's way too big to swallow.
It's not for swallowing.
No, I'm not putting that up my butt.
Come on, the survival of the world is at stake.
I can save the world with my butt?
You have to.
It's your destiny.
Okay.
Me and my butt will do it.
It seems the pond is owned by a shell company
controlled by the Galvan/Powell Group,
which we know was the same company
Tanner Corrington worked for.
Apparently, the tainted water is leaking heavy metals
into Hawthorne Creek,
which explains the symptoms we found in the medical files
in Corrington's car.
Okay, so what does this have to do with Sam's murder?
Yeah.
This Corrington guy obviously knew his company
was responsible and tried to cover it up,
but Sam must have figured it out
based on his patients' illnesses.
Yeah, we believe Tanner Corrington
tried to shut Sam up.
And when Sam refused to play ball,
he killed him and stole his medical files.
So what next, Sheriff?
How are you gonna get justice for Sam?
The case is being kicked up the ladder
to the FBI. - Yeah.
But the Galvan-Powell Group, they're done for.
There's going to be lawsuits.
People are going to be getting fired.
People going to jail.
Mm-hmm, except we won't get credit for that.
You know, we did all the hard work.
Now the FBI'S going to come in and just reach into our pants
and rip off our bean bags.
Oh, not me. I don't have a bean bag.
Well, not on the outside.
I don't really know what that means.
Well, I am so sorry you're not gonna get credit
for any of this.
Uh, listen, Mrs. Hodges,
everyone here knows you've been through a lot.
And we feel it's our duty to try to make it right, okay?
So on behalf of the entire sheriff's department,
I'd like you to have this limited-edition
Patience County Sheriff's Department baseball cap.
It's actually been worn by a sheriff,
which makes it more special.
You don't have to take that.
A baseball cap?
I was arrested, and I lost my home.
Okay, well, some people consider
a baseball cap to be a home for your head.
You probably should have just said sorry.
I was just trying to help.
I mean, it's a nice hat. Who wouldn't want this hat?
Well, obviously, you didn't,
because I gave it to you for Christmas.
What? It's...
You know what? Excuse me for trying
to be a ray of sunshine.
Oh, put your pants back on.
I do not want to have sex games on you.
It's my knee.
It's killing me.
- Ew. - I've been training a lot.
I think I overdid it.
Then stop training.
You're welcome. - I can't stop.
I have a ski tournament coming up.
I need you to look at it.
Fine.
Thank you.
I used to train like this 15 years ago, no problem.
[winces]
Your knee is compensating for your tibiofibular joint
that you injured in your ski accident.
Also, you are very old,
and your body is falling apart
as it prepares for your death.
Yeah, can you just...
you know, tell me you can fix it?
I have to ski in this tournament.
Skiing is the only thing
that I've ever been really any good at.
So If I can't--
if I can't ski in this tournament,
I don't know...
I just... please.
You can ski.
Yes, you can do it.
I believe in you.
- Really? - Yes.
It's just a pulled muscle.
I'm going to give you some medicine.
Okay.
This will be for your pain and also for your swelling.
You will have a child's knee again,
and you will not die for many years.
Thank you.
It's such--it's such a relief.
[sniffles]
Thanks. - Oh...
Why did I just say all of that?
I only care about Asta,
so why did I just give hope and encouragement
to another human?
Am I beginning to care about all humans?
What kind of monster have I become?
The main structure will be a five-star spa
and a piazza with shops and restaurants.
And all the buildings will be full...
Sorry.
Sorry to be late.
Hey, guys. Sorry about that.
Looks like a few more excited citizens
have arrived to hear the good news.
Welcome.
As I was saying, it will be one of the most exclusive resorts
in all of Colorado.
Question.
I will answer questions
after the presentation is over, thanks.
There is a ten-year expansion plan.
You can put your hand down. I'll call on you after.
An expansion plan to add a golf course...
How about now? Can I ask now?
And as I said, you can ask questions afterwards.
An expansion plan... - How about now?
- To add a golf course... - How about now?
- And a... - How about now?
- A ski hill... - How about now?
- For year-round use... - How about now? How about now?
How about now? Now? - With, uh...
How about now? How about now?
20% of the revenue coming back...
How about now? How about now? How about now?
To the town.
[applause] - How about now? How about now?
How about now? How about now? How about now?
How about now? How about now? How about now? How about--
Uh, D'arcy, I think you-- you had a question.
Yeah, what about traffic?
Yes.
Isn't Main Street gonna be wall-to-wall cars 24/7?
Yes, I agree with our great Olympic hero, D'arcy Bloom.
More traffic is great news for Patience.
- Not at all what I said. - I agree, traffic is tourism.
Nope.
Which is money in the pockets of local business owners.
Until all the small businesses get pushed out
by the bigger chains.
Won't allow it.
Or we die because the resort destroys our environment.
Exactly, big business already poisoned Hawthorne Creek.
Yes, thank you.
[all murmuring]
I see word has gotten out about that,
and trust me, as a Hawthorne,
I take the poisoning
of Hawthorne Creek very personally.
Also, unrelated, I would like to make a motion
to rename the creek. Any seconders?
This isn't a court of law, all right?
- Hmm? - Stay on point.
Sure, yeah.
Look, what happened at the Creek To Be Renamed
is exactly why we need this resort.
We can use the money it brings in
to help clean the creek.
And Greensoul Properties is known for their commitment
to the environment.
Even this model they provided is made
from recycled wine corks and CDs and diapers.
Oh, is that why it stinks?
Oh-ho-ho-ho, baby!
You tell him.
- Hey. - Sorry, sir.
Hey, I was skeptical too, but then I realized
how much good this resort could do for the town.
The revenue that it brings in
will bolster the public services in Patience,
like the school,
new books, an athletic field.
Not to mention law enforcement.
I mean, when this resort comes in,
we'll have the manpower to protect everybody in town.
Just think of it for a second, 24-hour surveillance
on every citizen in Patience.
- What? - Absolutely not what we
would ever want. - Uh, is--is what we could do,
but won't do, of course,
because we don't live in a police state.
- Not yet. - Never.
- Someday soon. - No.
Okay, everyone is here except Harry.
Where is he?
It is happening too fast.
I came here to kill all the humans,
but I could feel myself
wanting to help Asta's ski friend.
It is bad enough that I never fried their bodies to ash.
Today I was trying to make her human life better.
What have I become?
I have been hiding behind this human mask for too long.
Being in human form must be allowing emotions
to take over.
The only way to fight it is to return to my alien body
and live the way I was born to live
in my familiar frozen environment
as an alien.
I did not consider there is no food up here,
and I am already hungry.
Aliens can also live in cabins with meat freezers.
Hmm.
[quirky music]
♪
We can't let this resort happen.
My dad's right.
If they put a resort in here,
you can just say goodbye to Joe's Diner, the 59.
All the money's gonna go to big corporations.
It's never gonna trickle down to the locals.
If they widen the road,
the first thing that's gonna go
is Old Barrett Bridge.
We have to do something.
You were so great out there, honey, so in command,
very sexy.
I don't know.
It felt like there were a lot of people against it.
But there's also a lot of people for it.
That's just the way it is.
When you became mayor, you didn't have 100%
of the people behind you. - No, not even close.
Only 16% of the town actually voted.
- Really? - Yeah, I won with 49 votes.
And I think 40 of those were Hawthornes,
so only nine people outside my family voted for me.
Actually, I voted for myself, so that's eight.
Everyone hates me.
Honey, they-- they don't hate you, okay?
Some just have a different opinion
about what's best for the town.
A lot of...
some...
a few of them believed in you as mayor,
and now it is time for you to guide them, okay?
So ignore everyone who disagrees with you
and do what you think is best for the town.
I mean, I think the resort is great for the town.
You know, it's something that everyone can be proud of.
Then you're doing the right thing.
Yeah.
Thanks, hon. I like this.
You know, we--we're a team.
Hell yeah, we are.
Nothing can stop us.
[quirky music]
♪
Finally I am in my natural alien skin.
If living in that human meat case
was speeding up my humanity,
I will spend the rest of my time
on Earth as an alien in this Earth home.
Oh, son of a bitch!
[Neil Diamond's "Cracklin' Rose"]
♪
God damn it.
Son of a bitch!
♪ We gonna ride till there ain't no more to go ♪
Ow!
♪ Taking it slow
♪ And Lord don't you know?
Son of a bitch!
♪ No need to say please
♪ To no man for a happy tune
[sighs]
♪ Oh I love my Rosie child
[urine trickling]
Ahh.
It is not practical to live in this alien body on Earth.
♪ You and me we go in style ♪
♪ Cracklin' Rose
I can return to human form as long
as I start acting like an alien.
[loud thud]
Mother of a whore!
The baby will only listen to that little girl?
[loud clang]
Then I will do the right thing.
I will kidnap a child.
[loud crash]
Son of a bitch!
[light music]
Hey.
That lunch lady's not here. The coast is clear.
How come you're not wearing a costume?
We don't celebrate Halloween.
There's no spiritual meaning behind it.
It's just a bunch of kids walking around
perpetuating the message of witches, evil spirits,
and satanic worship.
Yeah, but also there's candy.
I don't need to stuff my face with sugar.
Then why are you eating honey?
To soothe my throat.
I have to find the baby.
I was up all night practicing alien calling sounds.
Obviously, going to the RV and yelling out,
"Baby, baby, over here! Baby?"
Isn't gonna be enough.
Yeah, I've been practicing my Frankenstein sounds.
Rah!
Well, I guess that is it for me.
We are both very sad to see you go.
Aren't you sad, Sheriff?
Yeah, well, it was nice working with you, Detective.
But you're leaving 'cause we solved the murder,
and that actually makes me extremely happy.
And he's also sad.
I got you something.
Courtesy of the Jessup Police Department.
Crime was down 20% last year, so we had a surplus.
Thanks.
Should probably put this crime tape around the sheriff,
because he should be arrested for being too handsome, right?
Well, I mean, he wouldn't serve much time.
It's involuntary handsomeness.
[laughter]
He can't help it.
[quirky music]
♪
This was--this was fun.
not the murder ring,
but, you know, the-- the other stuff.
Yeah, okay, then, well, I got to get back to my desk,
a lot of stuff to do.
Deputy, let's go over those new case files.
Oh, what case files?
You know, for the-- the big new case.
Well, this was the big case.
From the other-- the other big case.
The bakery double charging you for the apple fritter?
Yes, that is the case.
I got to find the receipt for that, 'cause I want justice.
All right. Thank you. [clears throat]
You're welcome.
Well, that's my cue to go, so...
- Yup. Bye. - Okay, bye.
What was that?
Why didn't you ask her out?
She was waiting for it.
Okay, look, I like Detective Torres, okay?
She's a pain in the ass, but I like it, all right?
She's smart. She's strong.
She's very attractive.
Just not aiming to plant my roots
any deeper here in Patience.
Why not?
Well, I've been thinking a lot lately,
and it might be time to move back to DC.
What?
Oh, come on, Deputy, you know me.
I need the excitement of a big case, you know.
And the biggest case I ever had here, it just ended.
Hell, DC's got murders as far as the eye can see.
It's like a whole forest of them in constant bloom.
It's beautiful.
It is.
[sighs] Now, if you'll excuse me,
I got to go see a man about a fritter.
Come on here, Cletus. [whistles]
[suspenseful music]
♪
What are you doing here?
I am here to kidnap you.
I need you as bait.
The alien baby seems to like you.
I do not understand why.
♪
All right, let's go.
What?
You're not the only one who could use some bait.
You know how to do those alien sounds.
Mm.
But let's be clear.
This isn't a kidnapping. This is an adult-napping.
No, it isn't.
I squeezed through this window.
I brought rope and tape.
I left it in the truck.
But I was--
I'm kidnapping you.
Actually, kidnapping by definition
is abducting someone and holding them
against their will. I'm not resisting.
I want to go with you.
Then--
oh, then I do not want you to go with me.
[snickers]
- You're resisting me? - Yeah.
Okay, so I am adult-napping you.
Glad we agree. Let's go.
I was already going to go before you said let's go.
Okay, so we're doing what I said.
Follow me.
No, you are following me
from in front of me.
Wait up.
[school bell rings]
Baby?
Mama?
You came back.
Your mama will be so glad to see you.
Let's go.
Come on.
[keyboard clacking]
[computer beeping]
Holy shit. That's the alien.
I discovered a long time ago that humanity is a virus.
It overcame Goliath, because he was weak.
But I am not weak.
If Halloween is a time for monsters,
then I will be that monster.
Do not to touch my truck!
I'm already touching it,
because I'm sitting on the seat.
Besides, I'd like to listen to some music
while I'm doing my first adult-napping.
No, this is a kidnapping.
I changed my mind.
You're a terrible child. I'm taking you home.
You can't.
I already told my parents I'm staying at a friend's house.
And I'm hungry.
Let's stop somewhere for a snack.
No, I am in charge, and I do not want food.
Not even pizza?
I could go for a slice.
Sahar, come in, over.
Sahar, come in.
Sahar here, over.
[indistinct chatter]
I'm going to get the pizza with cheese in the crust.
Sahar, come in, over.
I couldn't find you after school, over.
I have your baby, over.
No, baby, you have to stay here!
[knock at door] - Hey, Max.
Happy Halloween.
Hey, very good, son.
You didn't tell us you had a friend over.
Who's this?
Uh...
Me baby.
Sorry?
He means he was dressed as a baby at school for Halloween.
His name is Bobby.
Oh, well, pleasure to meet you, Bobby.
Welcome. - Hi, Bobby.
Why do you have to be Sonny and Cher every year?
Come on.
Because they're an iconic '70s couple,
and this mustache was expensive.
You guys want to come downstairs
and have a bite before you go trick-or-treating?
Oh, hey, Bobby, ask me what I've got for dinner.
He's got stew.
He's going to make a lame joke and call you babe.
Ah, it's not a lame joke.
It's a clever joke.
Okay, well, see you guys downstairs.
Actually, we're not hungry,
so we're just going to hang out up here.
You're not going trick-or-treating?
You always loved doing that.
- Yeah. - Yeah, when I was 10.
I'm 11.
Okay, well, looks like just and me, Cher.
Are you hungry? Because I've got stew, babe.
- [groans] - See? It never gets old.
It never gets old. - Too young.
Close the door.
All right.
Bobby is a little odd, don't you think?
I know. The baby costume didn't help.
[doorbell rings]
- Candy. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Let the festivities begin. You ready?
- La. - [laughs] Perfect.
Happy Halloween! [together] Trick or treat?
Hey, Ellen.
Hello, constituents.
Oh, come on in.
Trick or treat?
Wait, who are you dressed up as?
I love Patience.
Patience is the best town ever. - That's pretty good.
And I somehow snagged a hot wife,
even though I'm a horrible mayor and a total dork.
Oh, well...
both: That's not true.
I happen to be a pretty good mayor.
Stop that.
I don't talk like--
I don't.
[sighs]
Thanks for the trick.
Here's a candy.
Happy you spent $135 on that jacket to wear it one time.
We don't want candy. We'll take beer.
There's cookies in the pantry. - Yes.
Okay.
Are we just going to let them waltz
into our house like that?
She thinks I'm hot.
Sahar, come in, over.
Your baby keeps trying to escape.
Are you allowed to tie a baby to a chair, over?
No, baby, come back!
[doorbell rings]
[together] Trick or treat? - Happy Halloween.
Here you go.
Happy Halloween.
Bye. - Thank you.
Thanks.
Oh, hi.
Hey, girl.
Where's your costume?
Oh, hey, D'arce.
Benny, still rocking the Sonny Bono Halloween thing.
What is it this year?
Does Sonny work at a shoe store?
Or is it crew practice?
Oh, it is stew now.
A little wordplay never killed anyone.
I'm just here to see if Kate can come out to play.
Tonight?
Oh, I don't know. It's Halloween.
It'll just be for a little bit.
I'll have you back before the night turns
to teenagers egging cars.
Also, do you have any eggs?
Look, if you want to go out, I can take care of things here.
- Really? - Yeah.
You know, Max is busy with his friend,
and after everything you did to help me with the presentation
and you being so supportive, it's the least I can do.
Okay.
Yes!
It would be great--
and just thinking out loud-- if a certain someone
didn't come back later and write "Mayor Dick"
on my windshield, though.
I would be hard to prove, because somebody probably moved
a plant in front of your security camera that night,
so come on.
Ooh. Ooh.
- Have fun. - Oh, we will.
Hold down the fort. - I will.
♪ All our times have come
- Hey. - Hi.
Hi.
Oh, I didn't know you guys were all out here.
Oh, yeah, there's 12 more in the trunk.
Get in.
Oh, okay, well, I'll follow in my own car.
Oh, get in, girl.
- Oh, okay. - Yes!
- Oh! - Push her in!
Oh, my goodness. Got it.
Got her in.
We're all gonna have to put our frickin' seat belts on.
Everybody ready?
[together] Whoo!
Here we go!
Trick or treat, bitches!
♪ Don't fear the reaper
♪ Baby, I'm your man
Baby?
♪
Baby?
♪
Where did you go, baby?
♪
Baby? Baby? Over here.
Baby?
♪
Baby? Baby?
♪
Baby? Baby?
Over here. Baby?
♪
[helicopter blades whirring]
♪
[grunting]
Ahh!
No!
♪
He's gone.
They took him.
It's all my fault. I made you stop for pizza.
I wanted the pizza.
I was in charge.
I just wanted one more day together.
Now I'll never see my baby ever again.
[somber piano music]
I have never seen her cry.
If Goliath were here, he would be affected by it,
but I am an alien, and I do not care.
Goliath let himself be so human,
he probably would have put his hand
on her shoulder like this.
And then he would say something humans say
to make each other feel better like...
There, there, there, there, there.
♪
I am not Goliath, so I will not do that.
I am an alien,
and I enjoy watching children cry...
[chokes up]
♪
What are we doing out here?
This is the Old Barrett Bridge.
Now, if they go through with this resort,
this whole thing is going to be torn down and replaced
by a four-lane highway with billboards
on either side advertising "Injured at work? Call Jacob."
Wait, is that why you guys brought me out here?
Because of the resort?
Yeah, well, you're the only one
that can convince Ben not to do it.
Well, what if I don't want to convince him not to do it?
What if I actually think that the resort
would be good for Patience?
Just come with us.
We want to show you something under the bridge.
Please.
- Okay. - This way.
Ooh. - So...
We used to come here as kids
and carve our names.
Look, me, D'arcy, aww,
and there's Kayla and Liv.
Oh, this is amazing.
Wait, is that--is that Ben?
Did he carve his name here too?
Yeah, we all did.
This was our childhood.
Yeah, we used to come here after school
and sneak cigarettes.
- I had my first kiss here. - [gasps] That's right.
Yeah, Ben lost his virginity here.
both: He did? - Who...
yeah, we--we don't have to talk about that.
Nope.
Every square inch of Patience holds some memory for us.
And we can't let it be wiped out.
It's like wiping us out.
Ben must have been Max's age when he carved this.
[Samantha Crain's "Elk City"]
♪
I--you know, I never had this where I grew up, you know,
a sense of belonging to a place,
like it was a part of you.
Ohh.
You can if you want.
Really?
Yeah, go for it.
You puked with us. You earned it.
♪ See I was 17
Okay.
♪ When I came to this place ♪
Okay.
♪ In a boyfriend's Colt wagon ♪
♪ On the 40 interstate
[indistinct chatter]
♪ He told me we'd be rich
♪ Get on at the GHK company
Here you go, girls, on the house.
Thank you for opening up late, Dad.
I may not have an "open 24 hours" sign,
but I have an unwritten sign that says
"I won't let anyone in this town go hungry."
- Aww. - He's right.
One Christmas we had a huge snowstorm
that knocked all the power out.
Oh, yes, he kicked on the generator,
and then the whole town piled in here
for Christmas dinner together.
Wow, that's incredible.
I think that was the night he decided to put
another stall in the bathroom.
Ohh. [laughter]
- That was so bad. - Too much gravy.
This town is incredible.
I know change is inevitable, but we really
should have it on our terms.
We need a new library, not rich jerks...
- Ugh. - And oxygen bars.
I know, or chain restaurants.
I want to grow old in this booth, come on.
Let Max and his friends discover the bridge
like the way we did.
I guess I never realized how special,
you know, this all is.
So will you help us?
♪
Well?
I carved my name, so...
I'm one of you guys now.
[cheers and applause]
all: ♪ She carved her name, she's one of us ♪
♪ She carved her name, she's one of us ♪
Humans form attachments to other people,
attachments to things, to places.
♪
♪ I can only stay one more night ♪
Sometimes they are not even attached
to what something is
but a memory of what something used to be.
♪ I can only stay one more night ♪
Or a dream of what it might become.
♪ Just one, just more night ♪
♪
Mmm.
Harry?
[knock at door]
Oh, my God, you're okay.
I got your text. I was worried.
You did not text me back,
so I ordered only one pizza for myself.
You texted 911 and then gibberish.
I thought you were in trouble and had a stroke or something.
My message was very clear.
I use abbreviations like the kids do.
"9-1-1, MIBstblnwahcybi?"
No. What? What? What is that?
It's abbreviations.
"9-1-1, MIB" Men In Black. Ah!
There's "STBLN,"
stole the baby last night with a helicopter.
Can you believe it? Question mark.
What assholes. Exclamation mark.
"I am going to kill them to get the baby back
"so I can hear the rest of Goliath's message,
but first I am going to eat."
That's a pizza emoji.
Mm.
"WA, question mark" Want any?
And "HMBP,"
hit me back, player.
It's all very clear.
You're right. My mistake. Very clear.
How could I miss it?
I'm not giving you any of my pizza.
You can order your own.
Take your pick from this coupon.
What is all this?
Why haven't you opened these?
Aliens don't care about human things like mail,
except for the free pizza delivery coupons.
This package is from Violinda.
[tense music]
Harry.
♪
"I wanted my baby to have this book
so that he can get to know his father through his work."
Wow.
♪
Oh...
Oh.
These are all Goliath paintings.
♪
Oh, my God.
Harry, look at this.
♪
I understand these human attachments.
Change is difficult.
I grew attached to my human form
until it no longer served me.
But after wandering the Earth for hundreds of years,
my alien self has grown old watching the planet die.
Some humans are so attached to their home
that they would do anything to protect it.
Now I understand that.
My home is this planet,
and I will walk forever if I have to
searching for a way to save it.
[energy crackling]
[gasps]
[seagulls squawking]
[gasps]
[coughs]
A portal.
Of course they left these behind.
I must be on one of the planet's energy lines.
Humans called them ley lines.
If there is one portal, there will be more,
then I can change all of this.
[energy crackling]
[gasps]
That's my jacket.
I'm barefoot.
This is us.
Harry, this is the day you fought Jimmy.
How could Goliath paint this?
We were the only ones there.
Yeah.
Wait, wait, okay, um,
the signal was sent to you,
and the murals were made for you,
but you told me you were the only one
who could understand them.
And now this?
[growling]
Mio dios.
Augh!
[growling]
♪
This--this makes no sense.
Unless...
you're Goliath.
[breathing heavily] Mm.