1 00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:09,592 - Previously on "Resident Alien"... 2 00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:11,725 - You are the Greys. What are you going to do? 3 00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:14,262 - We will destroy you and everyone you care about. 4 00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:15,886 - There’s alien activity here. 5 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:17,483 I know it. - What are you gonna do? 6 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,888 - Call the Alien Tracker and tell him to come to Patience 7 00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:21,307 and find himself an alien. 8 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,775 - I need a refill on these pain meds. 9 00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:25,645 - These can be very addictive. 10 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:28,402 - Who’s Mary Ellen Taylor? - My mom. 11 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,195 - I liked my life the way it was, still do. 12 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,569 - I don’t think this guy’s an alien. 13 00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:32,915 - Did you notice anything different 14 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,700 about that new lunch lady? She might be MIB. 15 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:37,203 - MIB stole the baby last night. 16 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,406 What assholes, exclamation mark! 17 00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,127 - Our first battery of exams 18 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,248 haven’t detected any extraterrestrial DNA, 19 00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,125 but our next round of experimental tests-- 20 00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,472 - Forget it. I’m going in. 21 00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:50,798 - Yes, ma’am. 22 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:52,642 I’ll inform the guards to prepare the restraints. 23 00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:53,798 - Restraints? 24 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,675 Don’t bother. 25 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,642 He’s not an alien. 26 00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,233 None of them are. 27 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:03,812 [door closes] 28 00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:06,725 [sighs] 29 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:11,565 I remember being a kid, the pranks we’d play. 30 00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:16,163 You’d do anything to fit in, so I get it. 31 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:19,701 It’s clear you look like this dead boy. 32 00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:24,833 But whose idea was it for you to pretend to be an alien? 33 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:25,956 You can tell me. 34 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,253 You won’t get in trouble. 35 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:34,682 If you had any idea the hundreds of subjects, 36 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,510 the thousands of tests, 37 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:40,145 then you would cut the fake-alien shit! 38 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:43,273 [sighs] 39 00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:50,363 [sighs] 40 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:54,202 They’re real, you know. 41 00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:57,869 I saw them with my father... 42 00:01:57,909 --> 00:02:00,579 when I was about your age. 43 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,541 [dramatic music] 44 00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:07,252 ♪ ♪ 45 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,304 - Your eyes were playing tricks on you. 46 00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:12,588 - I know what I saw. Look at the damn photos. 47 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,553 - Oh, we have. 48 00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:17,013 Could have been a weather balloon. 49 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:18,644 - Who the hell are you? 50 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,680 - It’s just and your daughter, right? 51 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:26,019 - ♪ Leave it alone ♪ 52 00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:29,153 ♪ Give it a rest ♪ 53 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:33,611 - Dad, no! 54 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:36,414 - ♪ Say what you needed to say ♪ 55 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:40,198 ♪ I got no happy ♪ 56 00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:43,413 ♪ In my head ♪ 57 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:47,385 ♪ I miss that feeling ♪ 58 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:51,297 ♪ I had ♪ 59 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:54,048 ♪ That we’re all alone ♪ 60 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,881 - [squawks softly] 61 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,426 - [shudders] 62 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:01,430 [Brown Bird’s "Bilgewater"] 63 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:04,603 [laid-back acoustic strumming] 64 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:08,773 ♪ ♪ 65 00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:11,774 - My people began as aquatic creatures. 66 00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:15,067 I am glad we grew legs and started walking on land. 67 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,992 I would not want to be a fish, 68 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,450 in the same way I do not want to be a human. 69 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:22,991 So much of their lives is out of their control. 70 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:25,326 The fish swims forward looking for food, 71 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:29,002 and when they find it, they get yanked out of their homes 72 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,752 by a weird being, measured and probed, 73 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:34,965 and then thrown back into their home. 74 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,716 It is not the fish’s fault. 75 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:40,508 If I was hungry and I saw a pizza on a hook, 76 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,514 I might not be able to control myself either. 77 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:48,310 - [breathes deeply] - It’s my fault. 78 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,483 I spent my whole life trying to protect you. 79 00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:52,612 I should have told you what I knew about your mother 80 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,109 a long time ago. 81 00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:57,322 - Now I understand why you didn’t. 82 00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,992 - You know, I met her when she joined our band. 83 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:03,832 She was pregnant already. 84 00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,499 So you were, like... 85 00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:07,287 [chuckles] The fifth member. 86 00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,334 - Did you know my father? 87 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,495 - Mary-Ellen kept that to herself. 88 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:16,515 I ended up watching you most of the time. 89 00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:19,178 Then one day she was just gone. 90 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,757 - How do you just leave a kid like that on a doorstep 91 00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,513 and not care at all? - I don’t know. 92 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:28,516 My bandmates told me to call CPS, but... 93 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:32,150 I called an adoption lawyer instead. 94 00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,149 - You’re too kind for your own good. 95 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:36,651 - It wasn’t kindness; 96 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:37,903 it was love. 97 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,864 You were yourself, Asta, the day you were born. 98 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:43,486 I can’t make people see how special you are, 99 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,703 but I always have. 100 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:49,044 I lost a drummer, but I gained a daughter. 101 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,370 More than a fair trade, I’d say. 102 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:55,036 [sentimental music] 103 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:58,046 - Thanks, Dad. - Yeah. 104 00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:00,429 ♪ ♪ 105 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:03,547 [indistinct chatter] 106 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,677 - Oh, I thought I heard voices. 107 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:10,184 Morning, Kayla. - Ben, hi 108 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,887 - Kayla asked me to help her with a case. 109 00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,727 - Honey, that’s amazing. 110 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,902 See, I knew you’d back into law when the timing was right. 111 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,071 What’s the case? 112 00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:18,778 - I am helping Kayla’s law firm 113 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,779 get a temporary restraining order 114 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:24,201 to stop the resort from moving forward. 115 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,781 - Huh. 116 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:29,116 Great. 117 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,712 Can I get you some more coffee? 118 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:33,327 - Oh, that’d be nice, honey. - Mm-hmm. 119 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:37,175 - So, um, the judge is gonna decide whether we’ve proven... 120 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:40,592 [coffee grinder whirring loudly] 121 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,182 Um, whether we’ve proven... 122 00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:45,047 [coffee grinder whirring loudly] 123 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,597 - Sorry, Kayla. 124 00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:54,103 - [chuckles] Look, listen, the key to all of this 125 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:56,725 is just that we’re gonna prove that the environmental impact-- 126 00:05:56,773 --> 00:06:00,113 [coffee grinder whirring loudly] 127 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,241 If we’ve proven-- 128 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:02,898 [coffee grinder whirring intermittently] 129 00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:04,106 Irreparable... 130 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:05,445 environmental-- 131 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:08,410 [coffee grinder whirring loudly] 132 00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,745 - Ben! 133 00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,252 [whirring stops] 134 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:18,634 - Did you say my name? 135 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,380 - I know what you’re doing. 136 00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:22,382 - Barista-ing? 137 00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:23,974 - You know what? I’m just going to head out. 138 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,799 I’ll let you know what the judge says, 139 00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:28,104 and, um, I’ll take a rain check on that coffee. 140 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,508 - Oh. 141 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,806 - And the vacuuming you were probably about to do. 142 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,270 - Yeah. 143 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:36,690 [door opens, closes] 144 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,900 - Was that the most mature thing you’ve ever done? 145 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,820 - Mm, top three. 146 00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:43,609 - Look, I know we’re on different sides 147 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,413 of this resort thing. - Mm-hmm. 148 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:48,407 - Maybe it wasn’t fair of me to have a meeting like that here. 149 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,160 - Thank you. 150 00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:52,291 - So we make a pact. 151 00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:54,159 The second we walk in that door, 152 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,075 we don’t talk about the resort. 153 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:58,294 [dramatic music] 154 00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,845 - [sighs] Deal. 155 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,299 - Okay. 156 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:05,089 - [growling] 157 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,513 So stupid. 158 00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,681 - Hey, you wanted to see me? 159 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:12,010 - [clears throat] Yes, uh... 160 00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:15,307 I have, uh, something that I wanted to tell you, 161 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:18,192 but I don’t know how, so I wrote it in a letter. 162 00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:20,109 - Okay, just tell me. 163 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,321 - Okay. 164 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:31,034 "Dear, Asta, the Greys are here to kill us all"? 165 00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,326 That’s your opening? 166 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,079 - I wanted to get your attention. 167 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,870 - Good job. It worked. 168 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:38,374 - Mm. - [sighs] Are we all gonna die? 169 00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,326 Again? - Mm. 170 00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,297 - Why are they here? - I do not know. 171 00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:46,507 It all happened very fast. He threatened me and then left. 172 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:48,509 You are a Grey. 173 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,551 - Yes, and you are... 174 00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:53,675 [speaking in native language] 175 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:02,728 - It’s funny to hear it in your accent. 176 00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:06,364 I will find these Greys. Do not worry. 177 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,613 - You drew the Earth exploding. 178 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,665 But, yeah, sure, nothing to worry about. 179 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,580 ♪ ♪ 180 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:17,369 - But the artistry is... 181 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,504 pretty undeniable. 182 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:20,921 - You’ve reached Detective Lena Torres, 183 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,669 Jessup PD-- please leave a message. 184 00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,591 [line beeps] - Uh, hello, Detective. 185 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:26,589 It’s, uh, Mike Thompson calling. 186 00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,341 Uh, actually, I heard on the scanner 187 00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:31,183 that you guys were dealing with a gang of turkey thieves. 188 00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:32,929 I just wanted to make sure you know 189 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,771 that we can offer help or reinforcements if you need it. 190 00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,767 Um, actually, to me, it’s kind of crazy 191 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,809 somebody would want to steal something 192 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:42,613 that looks like a peacock had sex with a loose red sock. 193 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,687 But, um, anyway, um, I was calling 194 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,404 because I was just wondering what you was up to, and-- 195 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,534 - Oh, good morning, sir. 196 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:49,950 I didn’t know you were here yet. 197 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:51,608 Here’s your bear claw. - Just one second, please. 198 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:52,986 Uh, sorry about that, Detective. 199 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,993 Anyway, like I said, you can give me a call sometime. 200 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,375 All right, thank you. Bye-bye. 201 00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:57,701 - I knew it. 202 00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,156 You two are gonna have ten babies together. 203 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,785 - [stammers] Deputy, what are you doing? 204 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,832 I hadn’t hung up yet. - No, I’m-- 205 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,746 - I was right on the brink of leaving the perfect message, 206 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,804 and then as I’m about to nail my triple axel, 207 00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:08,588 you come up behind me with a lead pipe 208 00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:09,841 and take out both my knees? 209 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,763 - But I only accidentally smashed your knees, 210 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,432 and it really wasn’t a lead pipe. 211 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:15,851 Like, it was more of a soft wooden bat, 212 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,429 because women like babies. 213 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,644 I’m just--I’m gonna-- 214 00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:23,154 I’m gonna leave this here. 215 00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:25,148 - [mumbles] 216 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,980 ♪ ♪ 217 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:30,436 [sighs] 218 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:34,067 - [sighs, groans] 219 00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,825 [winces] 220 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:39,578 [soft music playing] 221 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,661 - D’arcy. 222 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:46,666 ♪ ♪ 223 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,551 - Good morning, champ. 224 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,338 - Hi. 225 00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:52,512 Is it morning? 226 00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:55,010 It’s, like, 11:30. 227 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:57,183 [sighs] Have you seen my blender lid? 228 00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:58,722 - No. 229 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,145 - It’s always in this drawer. You sure you didn’t move it? 230 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,314 I have a whole system. 231 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,692 - I never pegged you for a system person. 232 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,359 I also said "good morning." 233 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,978 - [sighs] You did. 234 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,986 - [chuckles] 235 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,318 - Mmm. 236 00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:15,703 ♪ ♪ 237 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,370 Wait, do you think I’m messy? 238 00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,198 - No, not at all. 239 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,504 I like you being a neat freak about your blender. 240 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,078 - [chuckles] Neat freak? 241 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,873 I’m a neat freak because I put things 242 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,746 in the drawer where they belong? 243 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,053 [chuckles] I mean, come on, you know... 244 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:32,257 Is the carpenter who puts separate containers 245 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,758 for the forks and knives also a neat freak? 246 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,221 You know who was a real neat freak? 247 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,681 Whoever invented numbers. 248 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,180 You know, each one is its own separate thing. 249 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:40,562 What a neat freak. 250 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,888 - You really gonna rant at me about a blender lid? 251 00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:44,524 - I just need you to help me find it. 252 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:50,521 ♪ ♪ 253 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,527 - Here. - Oh. 254 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,899 Huh. Thank you. 255 00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:57,446 You are like my little appliances truffle pig. 256 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,830 ♪ ♪ 257 00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:03,659 [blender whirring] 258 00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,045 Mm. 259 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:07,921 ♪ ♪ 260 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:10,539 Mmm, so good. 261 00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:12,797 You want one? - Are you okay? 262 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:15,089 You seem a little all over the place lately. 263 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:19,723 - Um, just in my head about the hardpack tournament. 264 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,222 Competition mode-- it’s an intense mode. 265 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,185 - Ah, if you’re stressed, we’ll skip tonight. 266 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,885 - No, no way. 267 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,935 Sir, dinner is on. 268 00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:31,270 Mwah! Gonna see you tonight. 269 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,276 Gonna make me something with protein in it. 270 00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,438 - [laughs] 271 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:38,566 - Hey, Deputy. 272 00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,285 - Any word from Detective Torres? 273 00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:43,375 - No, Deputy. - Maybe she’s busy. 274 00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,161 - Maybe she don’t want to have ten babies. 275 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,425 Anyway, uh, weren’t you trying to get in touch 276 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,077 with that Alien Tracker guy? 277 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,125 - Oh, I gave up. 278 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,589 I sent 60 emails. 279 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:55,209 He didn’t respond to even one. 280 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,376 You know, I spent all this time putting him on a pedestal. 281 00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,085 He’s probably just a jerk. 282 00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,675 - Okay, well, he’s also here. 283 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:07,017 - It was 62 emails, actually. 284 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:11,147 Would you care to have lunch with a jerk? 285 00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:12,899 - [gasps softly] 286 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,739 - We’ve got a problem. 287 00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:27,196 Uh, apparently, a couple of power-hungry lawyers 288 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,417 are filing a restraining order 289 00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,707 to temporarily stop the resort project. 290 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,171 - Really? How you know that? 291 00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:35,251 - Well, let’s just say you don’t become mayor 292 00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,166 without having a few ears out in the community. 293 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:39,015 - Kate’s one of the lawyers. - She sure is. 294 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,340 - Okay. - Yes. 295 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:42,055 And I would blame that for my stress headache, 296 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,355 but I’ve had that since I was six. 297 00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:44,388 - Okay, you know what? 298 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,890 You done come to the right place, 299 00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,562 ’cause you happen to be in the presence 300 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,190 of a professional masseur. 301 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,767 Here, go ahead. Take a seat. 302 00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,902 Take a seat. Go ahead. 303 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,729 - You went to massage school? - I sure did. 304 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,904 I graduated top of my class. - Hmm. 305 00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,693 - Taught myself in my own kitchen. 306 00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:00,066 - Is it too late to stand back up? 307 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,613 - No, no, you’re fine. Don’t worry. 308 00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:02,776 I learned the old-fashioned way. 309 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,244 See, I practiced on cats. 310 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,294 If you can massage a cat at 3:00 a. m. 311 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:08,947 without being scratched to death or waking your neighbor, 312 00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,367 you graduate. 313 00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,005 You know, the more feral, the better. 314 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,671 I remember for my masters, 315 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,540 I found this cat in an alleyway. 316 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:18,916 I still can’t grow hair on my left forearm, but I graduated. 317 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,805 - Ow, well, uh, the back pain has drowned out 318 00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:23,303 the head pain, so thank you. 319 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:24,804 - Oh, you’re welcome. - Very much. 320 00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:26,096 - Now that you’ve got a clear head, 321 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,519 you can start thinking about how 322 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,597 to get Kate off of this resort thing when you get home. 323 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,142 - Uh, well, see, that’s-- that’s the problem. 324 00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:32,685 I can’t. 325 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:35,019 We agreed not to talk about the resort when we’re at home. 326 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,824 - That’s a good idea. That’s best for your marriage. 327 00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:39,028 I, on the other hand, am not married to either one of you. 328 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,698 Look, invite me over to dinner. 329 00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:43,568 I accept. I’ll see you tonight. 330 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:48,084 - Uh, I’m having a hard time turning my head to the left? 331 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,829 - Yes, you know what? The cats had the same problem. 332 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,331 Try this. 333 00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:53,622 Try hunching your back over like this and hissing. 334 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,286 I’ll see you later. 335 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,996 - W-what? 336 00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:01,006 [indistinct chatter] 337 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:04,009 [soft music playing] 338 00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:06,762 - I have figured out how to stop the Greys. 339 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,064 - What? 340 00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:10,807 That’s great. What are you gonna do? 341 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,520 - There is another alien convention 342 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,690 in New Mexico next week. 343 00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,268 It will be filled with humans 344 00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:17,693 that have been probed and implanted 345 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:20,072 by those horrible Grey creatures. 346 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,489 - That’s true. 347 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,817 You could use those people to, what, track the Greys? 348 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:28,374 - No, I will kidnap the humans and rip out their implants 349 00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:31,749 and then re-implant them in professional show dogs. 350 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:32,868 [laughs] 351 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:34,334 - What? - Mm-hmm. 352 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,504 The Greys will be so confused. 353 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:40,342 "Why is that human that I abducted 354 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,340 running around in circles and jumping over gates?" 355 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:47,143 That will stop them for three to five minutes. 356 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,888 - We need to start thinking about a plan B. 357 00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,640 - Mm, what? 358 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:51,771 - Yeah. 359 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:52,848 Hey. 360 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,602 That guy looks an awful lot like-- 361 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:57,314 [gasps] Oh, my God, that’s the Alien Tracker. 362 00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:59,065 He’s sitting in a booth with Liv. 363 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:01,147 Why is he with Liv? - Is he ordering pie? 364 00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:02,482 - I don’t know. Let’s go. 365 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:05,607 - I was here earlier. There’s only one left. 366 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,663 He has a dessert menu, the son of a bitch! 367 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,290 - Oh, God. 368 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:14,367 - The ship was gone by the time the other kids came back, 369 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:18,794 but, somehow, in that moment, I felt like-- 370 00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:21,595 - You felt your world expand 371 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:24,419 beyond anything you ever imagined possible. 372 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,335 - Wow. Exactly. 373 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:30,935 But the thing that I remember most was feeling alone. 374 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:34,222 I knew no one would believe me, except my Aunt Cathy. 375 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,387 But her favorite shirt was a straitjacket. 376 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,646 - Well, that’s why so few come forward. 377 00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,939 You know, I’m producing a documentary 378 00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,533 where experiencers share their stories. 379 00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,779 People need to know they’re not alone. 380 00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:48,071 - You’re so noble. 381 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,954 You’re like a lion. 382 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,741 - Would you be interested in participating? 383 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,374 - Oh, I couldn’t. 384 00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:55,961 I would be so worried about what everyone might think 385 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:57,867 that my elbows would start to sweat. 386 00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:00,035 They’re-- they’re sweating now. 387 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,594 - [groans] [door opens] 388 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,719 - Hey, you can’t just come back here--it’s unsanitary. 389 00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,127 - Okay, Dad, 390 00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:09,546 we need to stay here until this guy leaves, okay? 391 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,264 He knows that Harry’s an alien, 392 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,514 and he might recognize me from the convention. 393 00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:16,266 - Dan, do not sell that bad man any pie. 394 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,389 - Hmm. - [sighs, gasps] 395 00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:19,686 - Excuse me. 396 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,193 - Ah! 397 00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,361 - What’s going on? - He saw me. Give me a fork. 398 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,990 I need to stab him in the neck--and anyone who saw. 399 00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:30,068 I have a lot of necks to stab. - You’re not stabbing anyone! 400 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:31,414 - No. - She’s right. 401 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,529 Go out the back. 402 00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,545 - What’s going on? Is everything okay? 403 00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:37,287 [dramatic music] 404 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,290 - I have to check something out--I’ll be back. 405 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,792 - Is checking tracking? 406 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,503 Are you alien checking? 407 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:43,843 I’ll be here. 408 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:51,008 ♪ ♪ 409 00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:59,638 [pop rock music playing] 410 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,145 - Hey, Liv. 411 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,807 Were you just here with friend? - Oh, no. 412 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:07,026 It might be early for the F word, 413 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,188 but he did share some childhood-trauma stuff. 414 00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:12,197 - Mm. - Plus, I do know his birthday, 415 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,070 favorite color, and moon sign. 416 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,946 Holy crap, I’m friends with the Alien Tracker. 417 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,204 - The Alien Tracker-- 418 00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,326 isn’t that that podcast you listen to? 419 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,463 Like, he chases Martians or something? 420 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,000 - Yeah, but Peter is so much more than that. 421 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,344 He literally wrote the book 422 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,299 on government alien conspiracies. 423 00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:31,129 - Mm, so is he here visiting his number-one fan 424 00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,795 or here on business? 425 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:35,974 - He thinks that there might be alien activity 426 00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:37,223 right here in Patience. 427 00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,485 He’s checking out a lead now. 428 00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:41,097 How exciting is that? 429 00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:43,483 - Wow, that is really exciting. 430 00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:46,111 Man, he means business. 431 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,938 I wouldn’t want to be that alien. 432 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:51,074 [Belle and Sebastian’s "Sukie in the Graveyard"] 433 00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,322 - Hi, Dr. Vanderspeigle. 434 00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:56,834 Can I ask you about making an appointment for-- 435 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,657 - ♪ Sukie was the kid ♪ 436 00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,703 ♪ She liked to hang out in the graveyard ♪ 437 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:01,866 - Excuse me. 438 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,374 - ♪ She did brass rubbings ♪ 439 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:06,376 ♪ She learned she never had to press hard ♪ 440 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,209 ♪ When she was finished hanging out ♪ 441 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,804 ♪ She was all alone ♪ 442 00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:12,009 ♪ She decided that she better check in at home ♪ 443 00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:14,219 ♪ There was an awful row between her mum and dad ♪ 444 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,720 ♪ They said she hadn’t done this, she hadn’t done that ♪ 445 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:19,012 ♪ If she wanted to remain inside the family home ♪ 446 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,516 ♪ She’d have to toe the line, she’d have to give it a go ♪ 447 00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:24,519 ♪ It didn’t suit Sukie, she took her things and left ♪ 448 00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:28,862 ♪ ♪ 449 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,529 - [chuckles] 450 00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,488 - ♪ She liked to hang out in the graveyard ♪ 451 00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,398 ♪ ♪ 452 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,947 [objects clatter] 453 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:38,911 Ah. 454 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,411 I should have killed you 455 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,753 when you were begging me not to rip your neck open 456 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,328 like a stupid baby. 457 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,043 - Sometimes I wish you had. 458 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,923 The only thing that kept me going 459 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:52,010 was the incontrovertible fact that the next time I saw you, 460 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:56,548 you would be the one cowering in fear. 461 00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:58,054 [electricity buzzing] 462 00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,925 - I did not want to murder this man 463 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,772 in the middle of town. 464 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,767 It is going to be messy for the people 465 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,269 who clean up dead bodies. 466 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,941 I’ll write "sorry" on the wall in his blood. 467 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,900 [electricity buzzing] 468 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:12,070 - [growls] 469 00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:16,948 - Witness, he--he was texting while walking. 470 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,819 Sustained, Your Honor. 471 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,906 Exhibit, bailiff. 472 00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:23,081 - It’s okay, ma’am. 473 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,250 It’ll take more than that to take me out. 474 00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:27,169 - [sighs in relief] 475 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:30,038 Oh, there you are. 476 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:36,298 - Your underwear is arousing me sexually. 477 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,432 Let me buy you a beer, 478 00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:41,759 uh, woman that I just met. 479 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,806 - [chuckles] 480 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,310 [indistinct chatter] 481 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,983 So...this is finally happening, huh? 482 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,613 - Mm. - I remember that pap smear. 483 00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,860 You were down there for quite a while. 484 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:56,032 - [chuckles awkwardly] 485 00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:58,070 - I think you saw something you liked. 486 00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,244 I get it. - Oh, no! 487 00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:01,201 We have changed. 488 00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,952 We have grown apart. 489 00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:06,503 The mature thing for us to do is to go our way separately. 490 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,579 It is not me. It is you. 491 00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:09,544 It is me. 492 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,132 [door opens] - Well, crap. 493 00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:18,012 Can you spot me a tequila? - Sure. 494 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:21,260 Yeah, just got diz-numped. 495 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:24,812 Hello. 496 00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:27,139 [soft music playing] 497 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:30,814 - I saved your breakfast. 498 00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:33,825 The busboy tried to take it. I had to show him my gun. 499 00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,148 - Yeah, I’m not hungry. 500 00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:37,152 I grabbed a sandwich at the deli. 501 00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:38,494 - Oh. 502 00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:41,029 Anyway, you ran off so fast. 503 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,493 Did you find something? 504 00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:44,663 [whispering] Uh, was it the alien? 505 00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:46,122 - [sighs] 506 00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:48,212 You know, people think you have to be alone somewhere 507 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,997 for them to get to you. 508 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,670 My wife and I were on a crowded bus in New York City, 509 00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:56,880 and they ripped my child out of my wife’s pregnant belly. 510 00:20:56,922 --> 00:21:00,092 I’m not gonna let anyone else suffer like we did. 511 00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:02,724 So, even if there was an alien standing right next to us, 512 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,432 I would not tell you. 513 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,602 And I wouldn’t take any action... 514 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,940 not with any innocent people around. 515 00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:12,347 - That is so admirable. 516 00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:13,686 Did I say that already? 517 00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:15,691 I feel like I’m repeating myself. 518 00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:17,363 My elbows are hot again. 519 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,531 - So what did you want to show me? 520 00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:21,570 - Oh. 521 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:27,204 ♪ ♪ 522 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:31,464 I’ve been documenting possible alien activity in Patience, 523 00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:33,289 possible UFO sightings, 524 00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:36,594 you know, the stuff people call in about. 525 00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:40,219 ♪ ♪ 526 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:43,387 [dramatic music] 527 00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:44,967 - What is this? 528 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:47,222 - Oh, that was a hoax started by the mayor’s son. 529 00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:49,434 I already questioned him. It was nothing. 530 00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:52,065 Unless it means something to you. 531 00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:54,232 - No. 532 00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:56,941 May I hang on to this for a bit? 533 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,732 - You like my book? 534 00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:01,236 Of course, yes, you can hang on to it. 535 00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:04,362 Sweaty. 536 00:22:04,406 --> 00:22:07,116 - Let’s catch up tonight, 2100 hours. 537 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,659 Is there a tavern around here? 538 00:22:08,702 --> 00:22:11,082 - Yeah, we have a pub. It’s called The 59. 539 00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:12,461 - I prefer a tavern. 540 00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:14,918 - Is there a difference? - There is a big difference. 541 00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:16,879 - Oh, we just have a pub. 542 00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:19,422 - I suppose I can go with that. 543 00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:21,383 - Thank you. Have a nice day. 544 00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:23,883 - I’ll see you there. You stay safe, now. 545 00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:33,100 - Okay. 546 00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:37,113 Okay, these are for heartburn. 547 00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:39,777 These are for my cat’s heartburn. 548 00:22:39,817 --> 00:22:42,987 Ooh, I don’t know what this one is. 549 00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:45,358 [coughs] Oh. 550 00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:47,366 I think that one was a bead. 551 00:22:47,408 --> 00:22:49,118 - Judes, my knee is on fire. 552 00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:50,949 I need the pain meds that you took 553 00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:52,415 after you fell off the roof. 554 00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:56,124 - Yeah, roofing looks like it’d be so easy, yeah? 555 00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,666 [scoffs] It’s not. 556 00:22:57,710 --> 00:23:00,460 [sighs] Ooh, maybe these ones. 557 00:23:00,504 --> 00:23:03,134 Do you have dry mouth... - Yes. 558 00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:04,843 - Constipation... - So much. 559 00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:07,304 - And mood swings? - Oh, my God, give me those. 560 00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:09,354 That’s it. 561 00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:11,468 - Can--can I keep just, like, one, 562 00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:13,515 just in case I swallow any more beads? 563 00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:16,649 - No, just don’t eat beads. 564 00:23:16,687 --> 00:23:18,187 - Wow. 565 00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:20,270 Are you, like, a doctor? 566 00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:24,990 [door closes] 567 00:23:25,029 --> 00:23:27,609 - [scarfing] 568 00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:30,986 - What are you doing here? 569 00:23:31,035 --> 00:23:32,795 Oh, you should be hiding. 570 00:23:34,872 --> 00:23:36,372 - I’m an alien. 571 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,325 Aliens do not hide from humans. 572 00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:40,035 - Well, you should. 573 00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:41,545 I talked to Liv. 574 00:23:41,587 --> 00:23:44,007 This whole Alien Tracker thing is not just for show. 575 00:23:44,048 --> 00:23:46,048 He’s an expert on aliens. 576 00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:47,431 He even wrote a book 577 00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:50,388 about some secret alien government program. 578 00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:53,179 Harry, he could hurt you. 579 00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:54,933 - Could you tell the angry nurse 580 00:23:54,975 --> 00:23:59,095 to make a ham sandwich next time? 581 00:23:59,146 --> 00:24:01,856 - I feel like maybe you’re not taking this very seriously. 582 00:24:01,899 --> 00:24:03,689 - What could the Alien Tracker know 583 00:24:03,734 --> 00:24:05,534 about aliens that I do not? 584 00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:09,739 - He knows about a secret government alien program, 585 00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:11,742 which means he could know anything, 586 00:24:11,784 --> 00:24:14,124 about your people, the Greys. 587 00:24:14,161 --> 00:24:15,541 Who knows? 588 00:24:15,579 --> 00:24:17,119 It’s not safe for you to wander around here. 589 00:24:17,164 --> 00:24:18,584 You really should go home and hide. 590 00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:21,384 - Humans hide. Aliens hunt. 591 00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:22,788 If the Alien Tracker 592 00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:24,796 has gained insider knowledge on the Greys, 593 00:24:24,838 --> 00:24:27,008 perhaps I can use him to get to them. 594 00:24:27,049 --> 00:24:28,719 - Okay, I will go. 595 00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:30,219 - Thank you. 596 00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:32,180 - Do you want my pickle? 597 00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:33,811 It’s floppy. 598 00:24:33,847 --> 00:24:35,057 - No. 599 00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:36,219 - All right. 600 00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:39,226 [mysterious music] 601 00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:46,439 ♪ ♪ 602 00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:51,355 [crunches] 603 00:24:51,407 --> 00:24:56,157 ♪ ♪ 604 00:24:56,203 --> 00:24:58,293 - Max. 605 00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:00,750 I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. 606 00:25:00,791 --> 00:25:03,841 My name is Peter Bach. - You’re the Alien Tracker! 607 00:25:03,877 --> 00:25:06,247 - I need your help finding someone... 608 00:25:06,296 --> 00:25:09,256 or maybe I should say "something." 609 00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:11,799 - Uh, that’s just a joke I made up. 610 00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:14,764 I’m really funny for my size. [chuckles awkwardly] 611 00:25:14,805 --> 00:25:16,935 - Well, I-I don’t think it’s a joke. 612 00:25:16,974 --> 00:25:19,644 This looks exactly like an extraterrestrial 613 00:25:19,685 --> 00:25:22,815 that I saw here today. 614 00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:25,985 - You can really see them? - Just like you. 615 00:25:26,025 --> 00:25:30,325 ♪ ♪ 616 00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:33,872 - No, I told you-- I just made it up. 617 00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:36,617 - I remember when I saw my first alien 618 00:25:36,660 --> 00:25:38,120 that had a humanoid form. 619 00:25:38,162 --> 00:25:41,672 But when I saw his face... like a snake. 620 00:25:41,707 --> 00:25:44,247 - Whoa. An Alpha Draconian. 621 00:25:44,293 --> 00:25:47,803 - His gaze bore right into mine, 622 00:25:47,838 --> 00:25:50,508 but no one else could see what I saw. 623 00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:52,299 To them, he looked just like a regular person. 624 00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:54,892 I thought I was going crazy. 625 00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:57,468 Now, you’ve probably been called crazy before. too. 626 00:25:57,514 --> 00:25:58,934 - Yeah. 627 00:25:58,974 --> 00:26:01,184 - Why don’t you tell me who he is? 628 00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:04,476 ♪ ♪ 629 00:26:04,521 --> 00:26:06,941 I can’t. - Max, listen to me. 630 00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:09,322 I understand. You’re trying to protect him. 631 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:10,779 H-he’s probably got you convinced 632 00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:12,319 that he’s your friend. 633 00:26:12,362 --> 00:26:15,322 But aliens don’t come all this way to be our friends. 634 00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:17,325 They come here to do us harm. 635 00:26:17,367 --> 00:26:20,657 - This one won’t. He’s a good alien. 636 00:26:20,704 --> 00:26:23,334 - You see this? 637 00:26:23,373 --> 00:26:25,753 He did that. 638 00:26:25,793 --> 00:26:28,253 He would kill me if he had half a chance. 639 00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:32,335 And if it suits him, that alien will kill you, too. 640 00:26:32,382 --> 00:26:35,092 [dramatic music] 641 00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:39,005 Here, call me when you’re ready to tell me who he is. 642 00:26:39,056 --> 00:26:42,266 All of humanity might be at stake. 643 00:26:42,309 --> 00:26:47,359 ♪ ♪ 644 00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:50,687 - There is a word for little boys like Max-- 645 00:26:50,734 --> 00:26:52,244 "traitor." 646 00:26:52,277 --> 00:26:54,027 [engine turning over] 647 00:26:54,071 --> 00:26:56,871 And also "shit weasel" and "dink." 648 00:26:56,907 --> 00:26:58,527 There are many words. 649 00:27:03,413 --> 00:27:06,003 - Here you go, honey. - Mmm, thank you, hon. 650 00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:07,961 - Excellent soup. - Mm-hmm. 651 00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:09,381 - Oh, thank you. 652 00:27:09,419 --> 00:27:12,379 - You know how a taste can take you back? 653 00:27:12,422 --> 00:27:14,382 This soup here-- this reminds me this one time. 654 00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:16,384 Five years ago... - Mm-hmm. 655 00:27:16,426 --> 00:27:20,386 - I had a bowl of soup-- taste just like this. 656 00:27:20,430 --> 00:27:22,520 - Speaking of work, I heard 657 00:27:22,558 --> 00:27:25,938 uh, there was quite a commotion on Main Street the other day. 658 00:27:25,978 --> 00:27:27,438 - Hmm. - Apparently Mike 659 00:27:27,479 --> 00:27:29,979 had to round up a pack of rowdy teenagers. 660 00:27:30,023 --> 00:27:31,613 - Yes, I did. 661 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:35,070 They were throwing Dan’s stale dumpster doughnuts at traffic. 662 00:27:35,112 --> 00:27:37,242 They were frozen solid like hockey pucks, 663 00:27:37,281 --> 00:27:38,491 could have killed somebody. 664 00:27:38,532 --> 00:27:41,082 - You know, why would they do such a thing? 665 00:27:41,118 --> 00:27:44,198 - I’ll tell you why-- boredom. 666 00:27:44,246 --> 00:27:47,576 Yes, it is a big, big problem in quiet towns. 667 00:27:47,624 --> 00:27:49,004 - Oh, is that so? 668 00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:50,422 - It is so. 669 00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:52,300 You know, teenagers, they need something 670 00:27:52,337 --> 00:27:54,667 to keep their naturally criminal mind occupied, 671 00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:58,095 you know, something like skiing or riding gondolas 672 00:27:58,135 --> 00:27:59,845 or shopping at hip stores. 673 00:27:59,887 --> 00:28:01,677 - Oh, I see what this is. 674 00:28:01,722 --> 00:28:03,012 - What? This is nothing. 675 00:28:03,056 --> 00:28:05,556 I just invited Mike over for a good meal. 676 00:28:05,601 --> 00:28:07,311 - Although technically food isn’t a meal 677 00:28:07,352 --> 00:28:08,692 unless it’s solid, but... 678 00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:11,439 - I do understand where you’re coming from Mike. 679 00:28:11,481 --> 00:28:14,031 Obviously, there’s a lot to gain from a resort, 680 00:28:14,067 --> 00:28:17,277 but I now realize that there may be a lot more to lose. 681 00:28:17,321 --> 00:28:19,741 - You see, you and I-- we’re a lot alike. 682 00:28:19,781 --> 00:28:22,121 We’re both city people. We miss the same things-- 683 00:28:22,159 --> 00:28:23,789 you know, the action, the culture, 684 00:28:23,827 --> 00:28:25,787 having a museum that’s got something in it 685 00:28:25,829 --> 00:28:29,499 other than pickaxes and whorehouse furniture. 686 00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,841 Sorry about that. You probably don’t know what that is. 687 00:28:31,877 --> 00:28:33,837 - No, he doesn’t. - Okay. 688 00:28:33,879 --> 00:28:36,129 You see, a whore is somebody who gets paid for sex, 689 00:28:36,173 --> 00:28:37,633 like a prostitute or-- - Okay. 690 00:28:37,674 --> 00:28:40,014 Okay, I think that’s enough of a vocabulary lesson. 691 00:28:40,052 --> 00:28:42,802 I love cities and museums, 692 00:28:42,846 --> 00:28:44,466 but Patience is a quaint town, 693 00:28:44,514 --> 00:28:47,144 and I’m really beginning to appreciate that. 694 00:28:47,184 --> 00:28:48,734 A resort would take away its charm. 695 00:28:48,769 --> 00:28:51,269 - Patience don’t need charm. It needs rats. 696 00:28:51,313 --> 00:28:52,613 - Uh, W-what’s that? 697 00:28:52,648 --> 00:28:54,398 - I like rats. - You should. 698 00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:57,321 Nothing says successful town like a good rat infestation. 699 00:28:57,361 --> 00:28:58,491 See, every healthy town 700 00:28:58,528 --> 00:29:00,528 has restaurants that’s full of people, 701 00:29:00,572 --> 00:29:02,162 and that means they throwing away half their food, 702 00:29:02,199 --> 00:29:03,449 and that brings in the rats. 703 00:29:03,492 --> 00:29:05,492 This one time, I was on a stakeout in D. C., 704 00:29:05,535 --> 00:29:08,035 and I fell asleep, and a rat ran right across my face. 705 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,460 I knew at that moment, I had made it. 706 00:29:10,499 --> 00:29:12,459 - I think you’re losing the argument. 707 00:29:13,794 --> 00:29:15,254 - Why did I even go? 708 00:29:15,295 --> 00:29:17,045 What did I expect? 709 00:29:17,089 --> 00:29:19,259 - She’s your mom. You had to try. 710 00:29:19,299 --> 00:29:21,339 - [sighs] I know. 711 00:29:21,385 --> 00:29:22,685 I just thought that she would tell me 712 00:29:22,719 --> 00:29:26,059 that what happened to her was like with me and Jay, 713 00:29:26,098 --> 00:29:27,678 you know? 714 00:29:27,724 --> 00:29:30,774 She gave me up to give me a better life, 715 00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:32,941 but she still loved me... 716 00:29:32,980 --> 00:29:35,190 or at least thought of me. 717 00:29:35,232 --> 00:29:37,152 Except it’s not true. 718 00:29:37,192 --> 00:29:39,072 - You know what every child needs most? 719 00:29:39,111 --> 00:29:40,651 - Hmm? - For their mother to tell them 720 00:29:40,696 --> 00:29:42,856 they love them and that they’ll always be there for them. 721 00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:44,406 It’s, like, the bare minimum. 722 00:29:44,449 --> 00:29:46,199 - I could have used that. 723 00:29:46,243 --> 00:29:48,703 - Yeah, but she couldn’t give that to you. 724 00:29:48,745 --> 00:29:50,955 And that’s on her. You can’t control that. 725 00:29:50,998 --> 00:29:53,878 And, yeah, it left a big hole, 726 00:29:53,917 --> 00:29:57,997 but you filled that with family, with your dad, 727 00:29:58,046 --> 00:30:01,126 Graham, me, all of us. 728 00:30:01,174 --> 00:30:02,884 And we love you unconditionally, 729 00:30:02,926 --> 00:30:05,386 and that’s never gonna change. 730 00:30:05,429 --> 00:30:09,219 - Thank you. I love you guys, too. 731 00:30:09,266 --> 00:30:12,226 [soft music playing] 732 00:30:12,269 --> 00:30:14,979 - What’s this? This my tip? 733 00:30:15,022 --> 00:30:16,362 - Sorry, it’s all I got. 734 00:30:16,398 --> 00:30:18,898 - Well, maybe then don’t come into a bar. 735 00:30:18,942 --> 00:30:20,242 How about that? Yeah? 736 00:30:20,277 --> 00:30:22,487 - Okay. Wow. Okay. - No, it’s not okay, actually. 737 00:30:22,529 --> 00:30:24,569 What the hell’s wrong with you? It’s ruining the Earth. 738 00:30:24,614 --> 00:30:27,334 These are precious metals, all right? 739 00:30:27,367 --> 00:30:29,987 [coin clatters] 740 00:30:30,037 --> 00:30:31,407 - Can I get you two hotties anything? 741 00:30:31,455 --> 00:30:33,415 - Uh, no. - No. 742 00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:34,497 - We’re--we’re good. 743 00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:36,791 - Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! 744 00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:39,125 You let me know. 745 00:30:39,171 --> 00:30:42,631 - What the hell was that? - [inhales deeply] 746 00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:44,724 - And, yes, a new soccer field would be nice, 747 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,340 but at what cost? 748 00:30:46,386 --> 00:30:48,256 - You know, the added revenue the resort brings in 749 00:30:48,305 --> 00:30:49,435 would be so good for the town. 750 00:30:49,473 --> 00:30:51,023 I mean, think--think of the tourism. 751 00:30:51,058 --> 00:30:52,428 - Honey, I am talking to Mike. 752 00:30:52,476 --> 00:30:53,766 You know the pact. - Mm-hmm. 753 00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:55,020 - You and I shouldn’t get into it. 754 00:30:55,062 --> 00:30:56,652 - Right. 755 00:30:56,688 --> 00:30:58,478 - Tell the mayor that tourists bring a lot more than money. 756 00:30:58,523 --> 00:31:00,073 They bring traffic and noise. 757 00:31:00,108 --> 00:31:02,278 I mean, and can we even talk about the environmental impact? 758 00:31:02,319 --> 00:31:03,439 [scoffs] - I mean, you-- 759 00:31:03,487 --> 00:31:04,737 you just heard that, right? 760 00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:06,610 It don’t make no sense for me to repeat it 761 00:31:06,656 --> 00:31:08,616 if you just heard it. - Well, see, what impact? 762 00:31:08,658 --> 00:31:09,698 The developer has 763 00:31:09,743 --> 00:31:11,623 a near-perfect environmental record. 764 00:31:11,661 --> 00:31:13,621 - Okay, is there another way of saying that? 765 00:31:13,663 --> 00:31:15,333 ’Cause that makes it sound like it ain’t perfect. 766 00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:17,384 - It’s not perfect-- if they get a resort, 767 00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:19,457 we’d lose 2% of the state’s natural geese habitat. 768 00:31:19,503 --> 00:31:21,003 - If we have a resort, 769 00:31:21,046 --> 00:31:23,376 the state gets 200% more snowplows. 770 00:31:23,423 --> 00:31:24,923 Max, you like snowplows, right? 771 00:31:24,966 --> 00:31:26,796 - Max, how do you like to see your geese-- 772 00:31:26,843 --> 00:31:29,473 up in the air or in a mass grave? 773 00:31:29,513 --> 00:31:33,063 - I’m gonna go eat upstairs. 774 00:31:33,100 --> 00:31:34,640 - [clears throat] 775 00:31:34,684 --> 00:31:36,444 - I mean, personally, I think the geese can move. 776 00:31:36,478 --> 00:31:37,978 I mean, they can fly. 777 00:31:38,021 --> 00:31:40,821 - Okay. You want to talk? 778 00:31:40,857 --> 00:31:42,727 Let’s talk it out. 779 00:31:42,776 --> 00:31:44,686 So you get a resort. 780 00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:47,066 Maybe some rich businessman runs it. 781 00:31:47,114 --> 00:31:49,244 He comes to town. He likes it here. 782 00:31:49,282 --> 00:31:52,042 Maybe he even runs for mayor and wins. 783 00:31:52,077 --> 00:31:53,577 Everybody likes him. 784 00:31:53,620 --> 00:31:56,040 Now let’s say that that businessman 785 00:31:56,081 --> 00:31:57,711 starts throwing his money around, 786 00:31:57,749 --> 00:32:01,089 and suddenly all the buildings are ugly and modern 787 00:32:01,128 --> 00:32:02,838 and have his name on them. 788 00:32:02,879 --> 00:32:04,209 He gets cocky. 789 00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:06,166 He offers you a million dollars to bang your wife. 790 00:32:06,216 --> 00:32:07,506 - [chokes] - Uh, what’s that? 791 00:32:07,551 --> 00:32:09,011 - And I say, "No, I’m not some cheap whore. 792 00:32:09,052 --> 00:32:10,092 "A million dollars 793 00:32:10,137 --> 00:32:11,677 is practically nothing these days." 794 00:32:11,721 --> 00:32:13,221 So he offers me $5 million. 795 00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:15,105 And I say, "For that amount, you can have me all weekend," 796 00:32:15,142 --> 00:32:16,942 ’cause he’s not just rich. 797 00:32:16,977 --> 00:32:18,727 He’s also really hot. 798 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,530 - Okay, you guys changed gears way too fast. 799 00:32:24,568 --> 00:32:27,358 There was a child down here not two minutes ago. 800 00:32:27,404 --> 00:32:30,374 [mysterious music] 801 00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:36,037 ♪ ♪ 802 00:32:36,079 --> 00:32:38,669 - What are you doing here? - I’m eating your candy. 803 00:32:38,707 --> 00:32:39,667 It’s stale. 804 00:32:39,708 --> 00:32:41,038 You should have another Halloween 805 00:32:41,084 --> 00:32:42,384 so you can get fresh ones. 806 00:32:42,419 --> 00:32:45,049 - You know, the police are downstairs. 807 00:32:45,088 --> 00:32:46,548 I could just scream. 808 00:32:46,590 --> 00:32:48,010 - Why scream for the police? 809 00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:52,469 Why not scream for your new friend, the Alien Tracker? 810 00:32:52,512 --> 00:32:54,642 ♪ ♪ 811 00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:55,971 - How do you know about that? 812 00:32:58,101 --> 00:33:00,141 - Tell me where I can find him. 813 00:33:00,187 --> 00:33:02,307 - I... 814 00:33:02,355 --> 00:33:03,555 can’t. 815 00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:05,437 - Because you are his friend. 816 00:33:05,484 --> 00:33:07,404 You were my friend first. 817 00:33:07,444 --> 00:33:08,704 - You said I wasn’t your friend. 818 00:33:08,737 --> 00:33:10,817 - You said I was like your dad. 819 00:33:10,864 --> 00:33:12,244 - You spanked me. 820 00:33:12,282 --> 00:33:16,542 - Softly, like a father who wants to be your friend. 821 00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:19,578 Yeah, I was going to buy a motorcycle with a sidecar 822 00:33:19,623 --> 00:33:24,093 so we could ride around town together, like friends do. 823 00:33:24,127 --> 00:33:26,917 - I don’t believe you, because when I asked if you wanted 824 00:33:26,963 --> 00:33:29,093 to ride in my bicycle basket like ET, 825 00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:31,432 you told me to fill my basket with rocks 826 00:33:31,468 --> 00:33:33,178 and ride into the lake. 827 00:33:33,220 --> 00:33:35,430 - Because I am not the same size. 828 00:33:35,472 --> 00:33:39,772 ET was shaped like a sexy potato. 829 00:33:39,809 --> 00:33:42,769 He’s perfect for basket rides. 830 00:33:42,812 --> 00:33:45,112 I need salty to follow sweet. 831 00:33:45,148 --> 00:33:46,438 Yeah. 832 00:33:46,483 --> 00:33:49,033 And then I’m going to need sweet again. 833 00:33:49,069 --> 00:33:51,069 [chuckles] 834 00:33:51,112 --> 00:33:53,242 Mmm, could be warmer. 835 00:33:53,281 --> 00:33:55,621 So... 836 00:33:55,659 --> 00:33:58,619 did you tell your Alien Tracker friend 837 00:33:58,662 --> 00:34:00,462 where I live so he could come to my house 838 00:34:00,497 --> 00:34:01,617 and put me in a cage? 839 00:34:01,665 --> 00:34:03,505 - I didn’t tell him, I swear. 840 00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:05,502 - I don’t believe you. 841 00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:07,344 - That’s because you’re always lying, 842 00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:08,879 so you think everyone else is, too. 843 00:34:08,922 --> 00:34:11,972 - You lie, too, just like me, and steal, 844 00:34:12,008 --> 00:34:15,968 just like I am going to steal all of your candy. 845 00:34:18,515 --> 00:34:22,645 See, we are so alike. - [sighs] 846 00:34:22,686 --> 00:34:25,266 - You should help me get this hairless asshole. 847 00:34:25,313 --> 00:34:26,273 - [sniffles] 848 00:34:26,314 --> 00:34:29,234 [somber music] 849 00:34:29,276 --> 00:34:30,986 But I like him. 850 00:34:31,027 --> 00:34:32,527 He’s the first grown-up I ever met 851 00:34:32,571 --> 00:34:34,241 who makes me feel like I’m not a freak. 852 00:34:34,281 --> 00:34:35,701 He understands me. 853 00:34:35,740 --> 00:34:37,660 - He doesn’t understand you. 854 00:34:37,701 --> 00:34:39,241 No one knows you like I know you. 855 00:34:39,286 --> 00:34:41,156 Think of a number between one and ten. 856 00:34:41,204 --> 00:34:45,004 If we think of the same number, then we are the same, 857 00:34:45,041 --> 00:34:46,251 and you will help me. 858 00:34:46,293 --> 00:34:47,883 What number are you thinking of? 859 00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:49,249 - Six. 860 00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:52,586 - I was thinking of 6.5-- so close. 861 00:34:52,632 --> 00:34:54,932 We need to work on our friendship. 862 00:34:54,968 --> 00:34:58,178 Let’s kill this guy together. - No! 863 00:34:58,221 --> 00:34:59,511 - Whose side are you on? 864 00:34:59,556 --> 00:35:03,176 Look, if you will not pick a side, 865 00:35:03,226 --> 00:35:05,936 then I will call 866 00:35:05,979 --> 00:35:08,899 my real friends. 867 00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:11,480 Hey. 868 00:35:11,526 --> 00:35:15,196 Lloyd, it’s your homey, 869 00:35:15,238 --> 00:35:17,158 uh, Harry Vanderspeigle. 870 00:35:17,198 --> 00:35:19,528 Yes, uh, come to the cabin. 871 00:35:19,576 --> 00:35:21,536 Yeah, let’s, uh, have a dance party. 872 00:35:21,578 --> 00:35:22,828 Oh, no, no. 873 00:35:22,871 --> 00:35:24,711 Don’t, uh, worry about it. 874 00:35:24,748 --> 00:35:27,788 I’m bringing the snacks. [laughing] 875 00:35:27,834 --> 00:35:29,674 - [sighs] 876 00:35:31,254 --> 00:35:33,924 [dramatic music] 877 00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:39,885 ♪ ♪ 878 00:35:44,434 --> 00:35:46,444 - Thanks for meeting for a drink. 879 00:35:46,478 --> 00:35:47,598 - You don’t have to thank me. 880 00:35:47,646 --> 00:35:49,106 I could drink this whole bar dry 881 00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:50,727 after dinner with the mayor. 882 00:35:50,774 --> 00:35:53,574 That whole house is a giant powder keg of sexual tension. 883 00:35:53,610 --> 00:35:55,900 - [laughs] Yeah, I’ve seen that. 884 00:35:55,945 --> 00:35:57,235 - So where’s your Alien Tracker friend? 885 00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,160 You’re supposed to meet him here tonight, right? 886 00:35:59,199 --> 00:36:01,529 - We were supposed to meet, but he didn’t show. 887 00:36:01,576 --> 00:36:03,366 - Sorry about that, Deputy. - Don’t be. 888 00:36:03,411 --> 00:36:04,701 He didn’t show up 889 00:36:04,746 --> 00:36:07,666 because I think he’s hot on the trail of an alien. 890 00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:09,997 - [laughs] - Okay, tease me if you want. 891 00:36:10,043 --> 00:36:11,293 I don’t mind. 892 00:36:11,336 --> 00:36:14,416 You know, my whole life I’ve been a bystander. 893 00:36:14,464 --> 00:36:16,094 I never call the shots. 894 00:36:16,132 --> 00:36:18,262 But this time I decided to trust my instincts. 895 00:36:18,301 --> 00:36:19,721 I took control, 896 00:36:19,761 --> 00:36:22,891 and I got the Alien Tracker himself to Patience. 897 00:36:22,931 --> 00:36:24,641 He came because I made it happen. 898 00:36:24,683 --> 00:36:26,273 - Well, good. I’m proud of you, Deputy. 899 00:36:26,309 --> 00:36:27,519 - Thank you. 900 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,150 I’m proud of me, too. - Mm-hmm. 901 00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:31,017 - You know, I’ve been sitting back my whole life, 902 00:36:31,064 --> 00:36:33,274 and maybe I’m getting tired of sitting. 903 00:36:33,316 --> 00:36:36,566 And don’t be mad. - Mad about what? 904 00:36:37,946 --> 00:36:40,656 Oh, my God, are you kidding me? I’m not date-ready. 905 00:36:40,699 --> 00:36:42,239 This ain’t even my second best pair of pants. 906 00:36:42,283 --> 00:36:43,953 - She looks nice, and you do, too. 907 00:36:43,993 --> 00:36:45,953 - Okay, all right, I got this. Come on, go on. 908 00:36:45,995 --> 00:36:47,745 Go on. Get out. Go ahead. I got it. I got it. 909 00:36:47,789 --> 00:36:49,459 You’re dismissed, uh, Deputy. [clears throat] 910 00:36:49,499 --> 00:36:50,709 - Hi. - Hi. 911 00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:51,670 - Hey, there. - I was just leaving. 912 00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:52,790 - Oh, okay. - Yeah. 913 00:36:52,836 --> 00:36:55,296 - Thanks, Deputy. - Yep. 914 00:36:55,338 --> 00:36:57,128 - Sheriff. - Detective. 915 00:36:57,173 --> 00:37:00,803 - Do... [laughter] 916 00:37:00,844 --> 00:37:03,644 I, um--I never figured you for a patterned-shirt guy. 917 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:05,310 I kind of like it. 918 00:37:05,348 --> 00:37:09,848 - Yeah, well, the pattern helps hide what’s underneath here. 919 00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:11,734 Gerber StrongArm-- this right here 920 00:37:11,771 --> 00:37:13,611 is the best blade money can buy. 921 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:16,980 - Couldn’t agree more. [laughs] 922 00:37:17,026 --> 00:37:18,066 - I’ll be damned. 923 00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:20,071 You know what? Let me get you a beer. 924 00:37:20,113 --> 00:37:22,113 - Uh, let me get you one. 925 00:37:22,157 --> 00:37:24,327 - Oh, gonna get me a beer? - I am. 926 00:37:24,367 --> 00:37:26,197 - Okay. - [laughs] 927 00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:29,214 [pop rock music] 928 00:37:29,247 --> 00:37:36,207 ♪ ♪ 929 00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:39,134 [cell phone ringing] 930 00:37:42,343 --> 00:37:44,893 - Hey. 931 00:37:44,929 --> 00:37:47,389 Oh, my gosh, are you serious? 932 00:37:47,432 --> 00:37:48,892 That’s great news. 933 00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:50,643 Ooh! Okay. 934 00:37:50,685 --> 00:37:52,135 Okay, good night. 935 00:37:59,402 --> 00:38:01,362 [both chuckle] 936 00:38:01,404 --> 00:38:02,704 - Good news? 937 00:38:02,739 --> 00:38:04,699 - It’s not something I can talk about here. 938 00:38:04,741 --> 00:38:06,871 It’s just--it’s no big deal. 939 00:38:06,910 --> 00:38:08,700 - Mm, honoring the pact. - Mm-hmm. 940 00:38:08,745 --> 00:38:11,375 - Okay, then. 941 00:38:11,414 --> 00:38:13,294 Yeah. 942 00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:14,633 Restraining order? - Granted. 943 00:38:14,667 --> 00:38:16,207 - Damn it. 944 00:38:16,252 --> 00:38:18,632 - Look, honey, I don’t want to talk about the resort, okay? 945 00:38:18,671 --> 00:38:20,631 Let’s just leave it. 946 00:38:20,673 --> 00:38:23,343 - The part of me that’s your husband... 947 00:38:23,384 --> 00:38:25,644 is glad to see you smiling. 948 00:38:25,678 --> 00:38:27,218 I like it when you’re happy. 949 00:38:27,263 --> 00:38:29,643 - Thank you. 950 00:38:29,682 --> 00:38:30,982 I am. - [chuckles] 951 00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:33,937 - I’m really happy. both: Mmm. 952 00:38:36,773 --> 00:38:39,613 - But the part of me that’s fighting for this resort 953 00:38:39,651 --> 00:38:42,241 cannot wait to crush you in court. 954 00:38:42,278 --> 00:38:44,608 I will stomp you like a grape 955 00:38:44,656 --> 00:38:46,616 until you realize you have wasted your time 956 00:38:46,658 --> 00:38:48,948 and you feel absolutely worthless. 957 00:38:48,993 --> 00:38:51,793 - Okay, pact’s back on. - Mm-hmm. 958 00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:55,460 - Good night, honey. - Night. 959 00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:59,420 [indistinct chatter] 960 00:38:59,462 --> 00:39:01,342 - Hey, Jay. - [sighs] 961 00:39:01,381 --> 00:39:03,261 - You got a minute? 962 00:39:03,299 --> 00:39:04,799 - I just worked all night, 963 00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:07,433 and I have barbecue sauce in my hair. 964 00:39:07,470 --> 00:39:08,760 - I totally get that. 965 00:39:08,805 --> 00:39:10,645 I-I just need to tell you this one thing. 966 00:39:10,682 --> 00:39:13,022 - [scoffs] - Okay, um... 967 00:39:13,059 --> 00:39:17,189 you probably had a lot of questions growing up, 968 00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:21,280 and maybe meeting me has helped you answer some of them. 969 00:39:21,317 --> 00:39:24,647 But the most important thing I need to tell you is... 970 00:39:24,696 --> 00:39:27,446 [sighs] I love you. 971 00:39:27,490 --> 00:39:29,950 I’ve thought about you every day of your life. 972 00:39:29,993 --> 00:39:33,623 And if you ever need me, I’m here for you. 973 00:39:33,663 --> 00:39:37,793 And if you never need me, that’s okay, too. 974 00:39:37,834 --> 00:39:40,804 It’s not your job to worry about me. 975 00:39:40,837 --> 00:39:43,167 I’ll be fine. 976 00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:44,634 And I’ll still love you. 977 00:39:44,674 --> 00:39:46,634 - [breathes shakily] 978 00:39:46,676 --> 00:39:48,636 So... 979 00:39:48,678 --> 00:39:50,178 that’s it. 980 00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:52,641 [sentimental music] 981 00:39:52,682 --> 00:39:54,352 - All right. 982 00:39:54,392 --> 00:39:56,142 - All right. 983 00:39:56,185 --> 00:39:59,515 ♪ ♪ 984 00:39:59,564 --> 00:40:02,944 [sighs happily] 985 00:40:02,984 --> 00:40:04,994 - Hello? 986 00:40:05,028 --> 00:40:06,278 D’arcy? 987 00:40:10,867 --> 00:40:14,157 [door closes] 988 00:40:14,203 --> 00:40:16,873 Hey. D’arcy? 989 00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:20,335 - [gasps, chuckles] Oh, hey. 990 00:40:20,376 --> 00:40:22,706 Hey. 991 00:40:22,754 --> 00:40:25,424 What’s going on? - I don’t know. You tell me. 992 00:40:25,465 --> 00:40:27,015 It’s 1:00 in the morning. 993 00:40:27,050 --> 00:40:29,340 Were you really gonna sleep in here with the door unlocked? 994 00:40:29,385 --> 00:40:32,095 - Um, I was just cleaning up. I lost track of time. 995 00:40:32,138 --> 00:40:33,638 - Really? 996 00:40:33,681 --> 00:40:35,561 ’Cause it looked like you were sleeping on the pool table. 997 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,100 - You gonna tell me where to sleep now? 998 00:40:37,143 --> 00:40:38,443 - Okay. - Wait, wait. 999 00:40:38,478 --> 00:40:40,518 - We had plans. 1000 00:40:40,563 --> 00:40:43,483 I waited for two hours. 1001 00:40:43,524 --> 00:40:45,034 Maybe I should just take a hint. 1002 00:40:45,068 --> 00:40:46,568 - No. 1003 00:40:46,611 --> 00:40:48,321 - Obviously you’re not taking me or any of this seriously. 1004 00:40:48,363 --> 00:40:50,203 - I feel like you’re being a little dramatic. 1005 00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,369 - If you care even just a little bit about me, 1006 00:40:52,408 --> 00:40:54,788 you need to tell me what’s really going on. 1007 00:40:57,580 --> 00:40:59,080 Please? 1008 00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:00,883 It’s okay. - [stammers] 1009 00:41:00,917 --> 00:41:02,707 It’s fine, all right? 1010 00:41:02,752 --> 00:41:05,132 Just--let me just grab my stuff, and we can go. 1011 00:41:05,171 --> 00:41:06,341 - No. 1012 00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:11,010 - What do you mean-- what do you mean "no"? 1013 00:41:11,052 --> 00:41:14,312 - I think it’s best if we just leave it at this. 1014 00:41:14,347 --> 00:41:16,387 - Elliot, like... 1015 00:41:16,432 --> 00:41:17,732 no. 1016 00:41:17,767 --> 00:41:20,727 [somber music] 1017 00:41:20,770 --> 00:41:23,060 ♪ ♪ 1018 00:41:23,106 --> 00:41:25,726 Don’t... 1019 00:41:25,775 --> 00:41:27,445 Please don’t go. 1020 00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:31,405 ♪ ♪ 1021 00:41:31,447 --> 00:41:34,407 - [sighs] 1022 00:41:34,450 --> 00:41:36,450 [sobs] 1023 00:41:36,494 --> 00:41:38,624 ♪ ♪ 1024 00:41:38,663 --> 00:41:40,293 - Bye, D’arcy. 1025 00:41:40,331 --> 00:41:47,171 ♪ ♪ 1026 00:41:47,213 --> 00:41:50,513 It’s probably best if you lock up behind me. 1027 00:41:50,550 --> 00:41:54,090 ♪ ♪ 1028 00:41:54,137 --> 00:41:56,467 - [sobs] 1029 00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:58,224 [grunts] 1030 00:42:01,561 --> 00:42:04,441 [Brian Eno and David Byrne’s "One Fine Day"] 1031 00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,610 - It is natural for aliens to take control 1032 00:42:06,649 --> 00:42:08,149 of their lives. 1033 00:42:08,192 --> 00:42:10,902 It is not so natural for humans. 1034 00:42:10,945 --> 00:42:18,035 ♪ ♪ 1035 00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:26,630 - [crying] 1036 00:42:26,669 --> 00:42:28,249 - [sighs] 1037 00:42:28,296 --> 00:42:32,166 - ♪ Saw the wanderin’ eye ♪ 1038 00:42:32,216 --> 00:42:34,836 ♪ Inside my heart ♪ 1039 00:42:34,886 --> 00:42:38,506 ♪ Shouts and battle cries ♪ 1040 00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:41,176 ♪ From every part ♪ 1041 00:42:41,225 --> 00:42:44,895 ♪ I can see those tears ♪ 1042 00:42:44,937 --> 00:42:47,687 ♪ Every one is true ♪ 1043 00:42:47,732 --> 00:42:51,152 ♪ When the door appears ♪ 1044 00:42:51,194 --> 00:42:53,404 ♪ I’ll go right ♪ 1045 00:42:53,446 --> 00:42:59,156 ♪ Through ♪ 1046 00:42:59,202 --> 00:43:01,502 - Part of being human is finding the strength 1047 00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:04,327 to fight through the obstacles in your life. 1048 00:43:04,373 --> 00:43:06,383 ♪ ♪ 1049 00:43:06,417 --> 00:43:10,167 - ♪ I stand in liquid light ♪ 1050 00:43:10,213 --> 00:43:12,923 ♪ Like everyone ♪ 1051 00:43:12,965 --> 00:43:16,835 ♪ I built my life with rhymes ♪ 1052 00:43:16,886 --> 00:43:18,386 ♪ To carry on... ♪ 1053 00:43:18,429 --> 00:43:22,059 - While there are some obstacles you cannot control, 1054 00:43:22,100 --> 00:43:24,850 there are some you can. 1055 00:43:24,894 --> 00:43:29,024 [electricity buzzing] 1056 00:43:29,065 --> 00:43:32,155 - ♪ That one fine ♪ 1057 00:43:32,193 --> 00:43:37,033 ♪ One fine day ♪ 1058 00:43:37,073 --> 00:43:38,413 - Like a little boy 1059 00:43:38,449 --> 00:43:40,619 who wants to be friends with an alien so badly, 1060 00:43:40,660 --> 00:43:43,370 he is willing to trick that alien’s enemy. 1061 00:43:43,412 --> 00:43:45,542 ♪ ♪ 1062 00:43:45,581 --> 00:43:48,501 [warbling] 1063 00:43:50,962 --> 00:43:53,512 Max picked the right side. 1064 00:43:55,258 --> 00:43:56,758 - No! 1065 00:43:56,801 --> 00:44:02,181 - ♪ One fine day ♪ 1066 00:44:02,181 --> 00:44:08,601 ♪ One fine day ♪ 1067 00:44:08,646 --> 00:44:14,566 ♪ One fine day ♪