1 00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:03,699 Previously on "Resident Alien"... 2 00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:05,657 You are the Greys. What are you going to do? 3 00:00:05,701 --> 00:00:08,356 We will destroy you and everyone you care about. 4 00:00:08,399 --> 00:00:09,966 There's alien activity here. 5 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,576 I know it. - What are you gonna do? 6 00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:14,014 Call the Alien Tracker and tell him to come to Patience 7 00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:15,406 and find himself an alien. 8 00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:17,887 I need a refill on these pain meds. 9 00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:19,715 These can be very addictive. 10 00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:22,457 - Who's Mary Ellen Taylor? - My mom. 11 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,241 I liked my life the way it was, still do. 12 00:00:24,285 --> 00:00:25,634 I don't think this guy's an alien. 13 00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:27,070 Did you notice anything different 14 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,767 about that new lunch lady? She might be MIB. 15 00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:31,248 MIB stole the baby last night. 16 00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:33,468 What assholes, exclamation mark! 17 00:00:35,992 --> 00:00:37,167 Our first battery of exams 18 00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:39,300 haven't detected any extraterrestrial DNA, 19 00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:41,171 but our next round of experimental tests-- 20 00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:43,565 Forget it. I'm going in. 21 00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:44,957 Yes, ma'am. 22 00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:46,698 I'll inform the guards to prepare the restraints. 23 00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:47,873 Restraints? 24 00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:49,788 Don't bother. 25 00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:51,660 He's not an alien. 26 00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:53,270 None of them are. 27 00:00:54,924 --> 00:00:57,883 [door closes] 28 00:00:57,927 --> 00:01:00,799 [sighs] 29 00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:05,630 I remember being a kid, the pranks we'd play. 30 00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:10,244 You'd do anything to fit in, so I get it. 31 00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:13,812 It's clear you look like this dead boy. 32 00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:18,904 But whose idea was it for you to pretend to be an alien? 33 00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:20,036 You can tell me. 34 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,343 You won't get in trouble. 35 00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:28,740 If you had any idea the hundreds of subjects, 36 00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:30,568 the thousands of tests, 37 00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:34,224 then you would cut the fake-alien shit! 38 00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:37,314 [sighs] 39 00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:44,452 [sighs] 40 00:01:44,495 --> 00:01:48,238 They're real, you know. 41 00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:51,937 I saw them with my father... 42 00:01:51,981 --> 00:01:54,679 when I was about your age. 43 00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:57,639 [dramatic music] 44 00:01:57,682 --> 00:02:01,295 ♪ 45 00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:03,340 Your eyes were playing tricks on you. 46 00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:06,648 I know what I saw. Look at the damn photos. 47 00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:08,606 Oh, we have. 48 00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:11,131 Could have been a weather balloon. 49 00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:12,697 Who the hell are you? 50 00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:14,743 It's just and your daughter, right? 51 00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:20,140 ♪ Leave it alone 52 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:23,186 ♪ Give it a rest 53 00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:27,712 Dad, no! 54 00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:30,454 ♪ Say what you needed to say ♪ 55 00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:34,241 ♪ I got no happy 56 00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:37,461 ♪ In my head 57 00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:41,422 ♪ I miss that feeling 58 00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:45,339 ♪ I had 59 00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:48,124 ♪ That we're all alone 60 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,952 [squawks softly] 61 00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:52,476 [shudders] 62 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,479 [Brown Bird's "Bilgewater"] 63 00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:58,656 [laid-back acoustic strumming] 64 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:02,834 ♪ 65 00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:05,837 My people began as aquatic creatures. 66 00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:09,232 I am glad we grew legs and started walking on land. 67 00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:11,060 I would not want to be a fish, 68 00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:13,497 in the same way I do not want to be a human. 69 00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:17,066 So much of their lives is out of their control. 70 00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,373 The fish swims forward looking for food, 71 00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:23,072 and when they find it, they get yanked out of their homes 72 00:03:23,115 --> 00:03:25,814 by a weird being, measured and probed, 73 00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:29,034 and then thrown back into their home. 74 00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:30,775 It is not the fish's fault. 75 00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:34,605 If I was hungry and I saw a pizza on a hook, 76 00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:37,608 I might not be able to control myself either. 77 00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:42,352 - [breathes deeply] - It's my fault. 78 00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:44,528 I spent my whole life trying to protect you. 79 00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:46,661 I should have told you what I knew about your mother 80 00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:49,229 a long time ago. 81 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,361 Now I understand why you didn't. 82 00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:55,060 You know, I met her when she joined our band. 83 00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:57,933 She was pregnant already. 84 00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,543 So you were, like... 85 00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:01,328 [chuckles] The fifth member. 86 00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:04,374 Did you know my father? 87 00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:07,595 Mary-Ellen kept that to herself. 88 00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:10,554 I ended up watching you most of the time. 89 00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:13,296 Then one day she was just gone. 90 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,820 How do you just leave a kid like that on a doorstep 91 00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:18,562 and not care at all? - I don't know. 92 00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:22,566 My bandmates told me to call CPS, but... 93 00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:26,266 I called an adoption lawyer instead. 94 00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:28,268 You're too kind for your own good. 95 00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:30,705 It wasn't kindness; 96 00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:32,010 it was love. 97 00:04:32,054 --> 00:04:34,926 You were yourself, Asta, the day you were born. 98 00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:37,538 I can't make people see how special you are, 99 00:04:37,581 --> 00:04:39,757 but I always have. 100 00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:43,152 I lost a drummer, but I gained a daughter. 101 00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:45,372 More than a fair trade, I'd say. 102 00:04:45,415 --> 00:04:49,114 [sentimental music] 103 00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:52,117 - Thanks, Dad. - Yeah. 104 00:04:52,161 --> 00:04:54,468 ♪ 105 00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:57,645 [indistinct chatter] 106 00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:01,736 Oh, I thought I heard voices. 107 00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:04,260 Morning, Kayla. - Ben, hi 108 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,001 Kayla asked me to help her with a case. 109 00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:07,829 Honey, that's amazing. 110 00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:10,005 See, I knew you'd back into law when the timing was right. 111 00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,136 What's the case? 112 00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,877 I am helping Kayla's law firm 113 00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:14,879 get a temporary restraining order 114 00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:18,318 to stop the resort from moving forward. 115 00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:19,884 Huh. 116 00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:23,192 Great. 117 00:05:23,235 --> 00:05:24,759 Can I get you some more coffee? 118 00:05:24,802 --> 00:05:27,370 - Oh, that'd be nice, honey. - Mm-hmm. 119 00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:31,243 So, um, the judge is gonna decide whether we've proven... 120 00:05:31,287 --> 00:05:34,638 [coffee grinder whirring loudly] 121 00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:36,248 Um, whether we've proven... 122 00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:39,121 [coffee grinder whirring loudly] 123 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,693 Sorry, Kayla. 124 00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:48,217 [chuckles] Look, listen, the key to all of this 125 00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:50,785 is just that we're gonna prove that the environmental impact-- 126 00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:54,179 [coffee grinder whirring loudly] 127 00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:55,398 If we've proven-- 128 00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:56,965 [coffee grinder whirring intermittently] 129 00:05:57,008 --> 00:05:58,183 Irreparable... 130 00:05:58,227 --> 00:05:59,489 environmental-- 131 00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:02,449 [coffee grinder whirring loudly] 132 00:06:08,237 --> 00:06:09,804 Ben! 133 00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:11,327 [whirring stops] 134 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,676 Did you say my name? 135 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,417 I know what you're doing. 136 00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,419 Barista-ing? 137 00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,029 You know what? I'm just going to head out. 138 00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,901 I'll let you know what the judge says, 139 00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:22,164 and, um, I'll take a rain check on that coffee. 140 00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:23,600 Oh. 141 00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:25,863 And the vacuuming you were probably about to do. 142 00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,343 Yeah. 143 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,738 [door opens, closes] 144 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,957 Was that the most mature thing you've ever done? 145 00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:34,872 Mm, top three. 146 00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:37,658 Look, I know we're on different sides 147 00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,442 of this resort thing. - Mm-hmm. 148 00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:42,445 Maybe it wasn't fair of me to have a meeting like that here. 149 00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,229 Thank you. 150 00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:46,362 So we make a pact. 151 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,233 The second we walk in that door, 152 00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:50,148 we don't talk about the resort. 153 00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:52,368 [dramatic music] 154 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,936 [sighs] Deal. 155 00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:56,459 Okay. 156 00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:59,157 [growling] 157 00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:00,550 So stupid. 158 00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:02,726 Hey, you wanted to see me? 159 00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:06,077 [clears throat] Yes, uh... 160 00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:09,385 I have, uh, something that I wanted to tell you, 161 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,257 but I don't know how, so I wrote it in a letter. 162 00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:14,172 Okay, just tell me. 163 00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:21,484 Okay. 164 00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:25,140 "Dear, Asta, the Greys are here to kill us all"? 165 00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:26,402 That's your opening? 166 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,186 I wanted to get your attention. 167 00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:29,927 Good job. It worked. 168 00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:32,408 - Mm. - [sighs] Are we all gonna die? 169 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,410 Again? - Mm. 170 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,368 - Why are they here? - I do not know. 171 00:07:36,412 --> 00:07:40,547 It all happened very fast. He threatened me and then left. 172 00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:42,549 You are a Grey. 173 00:07:42,592 --> 00:07:44,594 Yes, and you are... 174 00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:47,728 [speaking in native language] 175 00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:56,780 It's funny to hear it in your accent. 176 00:07:56,824 --> 00:08:00,436 I will find these Greys. Do not worry. 177 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,699 You drew the Earth exploding. 178 00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:05,702 But, yeah, sure, nothing to worry about. 179 00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:08,618 ♪ 180 00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:11,447 But the artistry is... 181 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,536 pretty undeniable. 182 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:14,972 You've reached Detective Lena Torres, 183 00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:16,713 Jessup PD-- please leave a message. 184 00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:18,628 [line beeps] - Uh, hello, Detective. 185 00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:20,630 It's, uh, Mike Thompson calling. 186 00:08:20,674 --> 00:08:22,414 Uh, actually, I heard on the scanner 187 00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:25,243 that you guys were dealing with a gang of turkey thieves. 188 00:08:25,287 --> 00:08:26,984 I just wanted to make sure you know 189 00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:29,813 that we can offer help or reinforcements if you need it. 190 00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:31,815 Um, actually, to me, it's kind of crazy 191 00:08:31,859 --> 00:08:33,904 somebody would want to steal something 192 00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:36,646 that looks like a peacock had sex with a loose red sock. 193 00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:39,736 But, um, anyway, um, I was calling 194 00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:41,477 because I was just wondering what you was up to, and-- 195 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,565 Oh, good morning, sir. 196 00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:44,001 I didn't know you were here yet. 197 00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:45,655 Here's your bear claw. - Just one second, please. 198 00:08:45,699 --> 00:08:47,091 Uh, sorry about that, Detective. 199 00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:49,050 Anyway, like I said, you can give me a call sometime. 200 00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:50,442 All right, thank you. Bye-bye. 201 00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:51,748 I knew it. 202 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:53,228 You two are gonna have ten babies together. 203 00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:54,838 [stammers] Deputy, what are you doing? 204 00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:56,884 I hadn't hung up yet. - No, I'm-- 205 00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:58,799 I was right on the brink of leaving the perfect message, 206 00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,844 and then as I'm about to nail my triple axel, 207 00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:02,629 you come up behind me with a lead pipe 208 00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:03,934 and take out both my knees? 209 00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:06,807 But I only accidentally smashed your knees, 210 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,548 and it really wasn't a lead pipe. 211 00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:09,940 Like, it was more of a soft wooden bat, 212 00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,594 because women like babies. 213 00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:13,683 I'm just--I'm gonna-- 214 00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:17,208 I'm gonna leave this here. 215 00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:19,210 [mumbles] 216 00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:22,039 ♪ 217 00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:24,520 [sighs] 218 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:28,132 [sighs, groans] 219 00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:30,874 [winces] 220 00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:33,616 [soft music playing] 221 00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,705 D'arcy. 222 00:09:35,749 --> 00:09:40,710 ♪ 223 00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:42,625 Good morning, champ. 224 00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:45,410 Hi. 225 00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:46,586 Is it morning? 226 00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:49,066 It's, like, 11:30. 227 00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:51,242 [sighs] Have you seen my blender lid? 228 00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:52,853 No. 229 00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:55,203 It's always in this drawer. You sure you didn't move it? 230 00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:56,421 I have a whole system. 231 00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:58,728 I never pegged you for a system person. 232 00:09:58,772 --> 00:10:01,426 I also said "good morning." 233 00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:04,038 [sighs] You did. 234 00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:06,040 [chuckles] 235 00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,389 Mmm. 236 00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:09,739 ♪ 237 00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:11,480 Wait, do you think I'm messy? 238 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,264 No, not at all. 239 00:10:13,308 --> 00:10:15,658 I like you being a neat freak about your blender. 240 00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,181 [chuckles] Neat freak? 241 00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:18,922 I'm a neat freak because I put things 242 00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:20,794 in the drawer where they belong? 243 00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:23,100 [chuckles] I mean, come on, you know... 244 00:10:23,144 --> 00:10:26,321 Is the carpenter who puts separate containers 245 00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:28,802 for the forks and knives also a neat freak? 246 00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:30,281 You know who was a real neat freak? 247 00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:31,718 Whoever invented numbers. 248 00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:33,241 You know, each one is its own separate thing. 249 00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:34,677 What a neat freak. 250 00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,940 You really gonna rant at me about a blender lid? 251 00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:38,638 I just need you to help me find it. 252 00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:44,644 ♪ 253 00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:46,646 - Here. - Oh. 254 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,952 Huh. Thank you. 255 00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:51,563 You are like my little appliances truffle pig. 256 00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:54,871 ♪ 257 00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:57,700 [blender whirring] 258 00:10:57,744 --> 00:10:59,093 Mm. 259 00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:01,965 ♪ 260 00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:04,664 Mmm, so good. 261 00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:06,840 You want one? - Are you okay? 262 00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:09,146 You seem a little all over the place lately. 263 00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:13,760 Um, just in my head about the hardpack tournament. 264 00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:16,284 Competition mode-- it's an intense mode. 265 00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:18,242 Ah, if you're stressed, we'll skip tonight. 266 00:11:18,286 --> 00:11:19,940 No, no way. 267 00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:22,986 Sir, dinner is on. 268 00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:25,336 Mwah! Gonna see you tonight. 269 00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:27,295 Gonna make me something with protein in it. 270 00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:29,514 [laughs] 271 00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:32,692 Hey, Deputy. 272 00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:34,345 Any word from Detective Torres? 273 00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:37,435 - No, Deputy. - Maybe she's busy. 274 00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:39,220 Maybe she don't want to have ten babies. 275 00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:41,483 Anyway, uh, weren't you trying to get in touch 276 00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:43,137 with that Alien Tracker guy? 277 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:45,226 Oh, I gave up. 278 00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:46,749 I sent 60 emails. 279 00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:49,273 He didn't respond to even one. 280 00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:51,449 You know, I spent all this time putting him on a pedestal. 281 00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:53,147 He's probably just a jerk. 282 00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:55,758 Okay, well, he's also here. 283 00:11:58,152 --> 00:12:01,111 It was 62 emails, actually. 284 00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:05,202 Would you care to have lunch with a jerk? 285 00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:06,943 [gasps softly] 286 00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:17,084 We've got a problem. 287 00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:19,564 Uh, apparently, a couple of power-hungry lawyers 288 00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:21,784 are filing a restraining order 289 00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:24,047 to temporarily stop the resort project. 290 00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:25,570 Really? How you know that? 291 00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:27,616 Well, let's just say you don't become mayor 292 00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:29,574 without having a few ears out in the community. 293 00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:31,359 - Kate's one of the lawyers. - She sure is. 294 00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:32,708 - Okay. - Yes. 295 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,405 And I would blame that for my stress headache, 296 00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:35,711 but I've had that since I was six. 297 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:36,799 Okay, you know what? 298 00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:38,235 You done come to the right place, 299 00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:39,889 'cause you happen to be in the presence 300 00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,543 of a professional masseur. 301 00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:43,110 Here, go ahead. 302 00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:45,242 Take a seat. Go ahead. 303 00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:47,070 - You went to massage school? - I sure did. 304 00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:49,246 I graduated top of my class. - Hmm. 305 00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:51,031 Taught myself in my own kitchen. 306 00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:52,423 Is it too late to stand back up? 307 00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:53,947 No, no, you're fine. Don't worry. 308 00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,209 I learned the old-fashioned way. 309 00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:56,601 See, I practiced on cats. 310 00:12:56,645 --> 00:12:58,647 If you can massage a cat at 3:00 a.m. 311 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:01,302 without being scratched to death or waking your neighbor, 312 00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:02,782 you graduate. 313 00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,348 You know, the more feral, the better. 314 00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:05,959 I remember for my masters, 315 00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:07,874 I found this cat in an alleyway. 316 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:11,268 I still can't grow hair on my left forearm, but I graduated. 317 00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:14,228 Ow, well, uh, the back pain has drowned out 318 00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:15,664 the head pain, so thank you. 319 00:13:15,707 --> 00:13:17,144 - Oh, you're welcome. - Very much. 320 00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:18,449 Now that you've got a clear head, 321 00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:19,929 you can start thinking about how 322 00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:21,931 to get Kate off of this resort thing when you get home. 323 00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,498 Uh, well, see, that's-- that's the problem. 324 00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:25,108 I can't. 325 00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:27,371 We agreed not to talk about the resort when we're at home. 326 00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:29,199 That's a good idea. That's best for your marriage. 327 00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,375 I, on the other hand, am not married to either one of you. 328 00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:34,030 Look, invite me over to dinner. 329 00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:35,945 I accept. I'll see you tonight. 330 00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:40,384 Uh, I'm having a hard time turning my head to the left? 331 00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:42,212 Yes, you know what? The cats had the same problem. 332 00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:43,692 Try this. 333 00:13:43,735 --> 00:13:45,955 Try hunching your back over like this and hissing. 334 00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:48,653 I'll see you later. 335 00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:50,351 W-what? 336 00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:53,354 [indistinct chatter] 337 00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:56,357 [soft music playing] 338 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,099 I have figured out how to stop the Greys. 339 00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:00,404 What? 340 00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:03,146 That's great. What are you gonna do? 341 00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:04,887 There is another alien convention 342 00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,019 in New Mexico next week. 343 00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:07,672 It will be filled with humans 344 00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:10,023 that have been probed and implanted 345 00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:12,373 by those horrible Grey creatures. 346 00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:13,853 That's true. 347 00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:17,160 You could use those people to, what, track the Greys? 348 00:14:17,204 --> 00:14:20,729 No, I will kidnap the humans and rip out their implants 349 00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:24,080 and then re-implant them in professional show dogs. 350 00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,212 [laughs] 351 00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:26,691 - What? - Mm-hmm. 352 00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:28,868 The Greys will be so confused. 353 00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:32,697 "Why is that human that I abducted 354 00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:35,700 running around in circles and jumping over gates?" 355 00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:39,530 That will stop them for three to five minutes. 356 00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:41,228 We need to start thinking about a plan B. 357 00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:43,012 Mm, what? 358 00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:44,100 Yeah. 359 00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:45,188 Hey. 360 00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:46,929 That guy looks an awful lot like-- 361 00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:49,671 [gasps] Oh, my God, that's the Alien Tracker. 362 00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:51,412 He's sitting in a booth with Liv. 363 00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:53,501 Why is he with Liv? - Is he ordering pie? 364 00:14:53,544 --> 00:14:54,806 I don't know. Let's go. 365 00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:57,940 I was here earlier. There's only one left. 366 00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:01,988 He has a dessert menu, the son of a bitch! 367 00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:03,641 Oh, God. 368 00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:06,731 The ship was gone by the time the other kids came back, 369 00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:11,127 but, somehow, in that moment, I felt like-- 370 00:15:11,171 --> 00:15:13,956 You felt your world expand 371 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,785 beyond anything you ever imagined possible. 372 00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:19,657 Wow. Exactly. 373 00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:23,270 But the thing that I remember most was feeling alone. 374 00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:26,577 I knew no one would believe me, except my Aunt Cathy. 375 00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:28,753 But her favorite shirt was a straitjacket. 376 00:15:28,797 --> 00:15:31,974 Well, that's why so few come forward. 377 00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:34,368 You know, I'm producing a documentary 378 00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:36,892 where experiencers share their stories. 379 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,112 People need to know they're not alone. 380 00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:40,417 You're so noble. 381 00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:42,289 You're like a lion. 382 00:15:42,332 --> 00:15:44,073 Would you be interested in participating? 383 00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:45,770 Oh, I couldn't. 384 00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:48,295 I would be so worried about what everyone might think 385 00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:50,253 that my elbows would start to sweat. 386 00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:52,429 They're-- they're sweating now. 387 00:15:53,648 --> 00:15:55,955 [groans] [door opens] 388 00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:59,045 Hey, you can't just come back here--it's unsanitary. 389 00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:00,481 Okay, Dad, 390 00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:01,917 we need to stay here until this guy leaves, okay? 391 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,614 He knows that Harry's an alien, 392 00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:05,877 and he might recognize me from the convention. 393 00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:08,619 Dan, do not sell that bad man any pie. 394 00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:10,752 - Hmm. - [sighs, gasps] 395 00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:12,058 Excuse me. 396 00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:14,538 Ah! 397 00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:16,714 - What's going on? - He saw me. Give me a fork. 398 00:16:16,758 --> 00:16:19,326 I need to stab him in the neck--and anyone who saw. 399 00:16:19,369 --> 00:16:22,459 I have a lot of necks to stab. - You're not stabbing anyone! 400 00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:23,808 - No. - She's right. 401 00:16:23,852 --> 00:16:24,984 Go out the back. 402 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,855 What's going on? Is everything okay? 403 00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:29,640 [dramatic music] 404 00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:31,642 I have to check something out--I'll be back. 405 00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:33,122 Is checking tracking? 406 00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:34,863 Are you alien checking? 407 00:16:34,906 --> 00:16:36,169 I'll be here. 408 00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:43,350 ♪ 409 00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:50,009 [pop rock music playing] 410 00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:51,488 Hey, Liv. 411 00:16:51,532 --> 00:16:54,143 Were you just here with friend? - Oh, no. 412 00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:57,364 It might be early for the F word, 413 00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:59,496 but he did share some childhood-trauma stuff. 414 00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:02,499 - Mm. - Plus, I do know his birthday, 415 00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,371 favorite color, and moon sign. 416 00:17:04,414 --> 00:17:07,243 Holy crap, I'm friends with the Alien Tracker. 417 00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:08,505 The Alien Tracker-- 418 00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:10,681 isn't that that podcast you listen to? 419 00:17:10,725 --> 00:17:12,901 Like, he chases Martians or something? 420 00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:15,338 Yeah, but Peter is so much more than that. 421 00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:16,687 He literally wrote the book 422 00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:18,602 on government alien conspiracies. 423 00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:21,431 Mm, so is he here visiting his number-one fan 424 00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:24,086 or here on business? 425 00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,306 He thinks that there might be alien activity 426 00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:27,568 right here in Patience. 427 00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:29,874 He's checking out a lead now. 428 00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:31,398 How exciting is that? 429 00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:33,878 Wow, that is really exciting. 430 00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:36,403 Man, he means business. 431 00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:38,231 I wouldn't want to be that alien. 432 00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:41,364 [Belle and Sebastian's "Sukie in the Graveyard"] 433 00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:43,627 Hi, Dr. Vanderspeigle. 434 00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:47,109 Can I ask you about making an appointment for-- 435 00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:48,980 ♪ Sukie was the kid 436 00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:51,070 ♪ She liked to hang out in the graveyard ♪ 437 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,201 Excuse me. 438 00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:53,724 ♪ She did brass rubbings 439 00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:56,727 ♪ She learned she never had to press hard ♪ 440 00:17:56,771 --> 00:17:58,555 ♪ When she was finished hanging out ♪ 441 00:17:58,599 --> 00:18:00,122 ♪ She was all alone 442 00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:02,342 ♪ She decided that she better check in at home ♪ 443 00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:04,518 ♪ There was an awful row between her mum and dad ♪ 444 00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:07,042 ♪ They said she hadn't done this, she hadn't done that ♪ 445 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,349 ♪ If she wanted to remain inside the family home ♪ 446 00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:11,873 ♪ She'd have to toe the line, she'd have to give it a go ♪ 447 00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:14,832 ♪ It didn't suit Sukie, she took her things and left ♪ 448 00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:19,141 ♪ 449 00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:20,838 [chuckles] 450 00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:22,797 ♪ She liked to hang out in the graveyard ♪ 451 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,755 ♪ 452 00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:27,280 [objects clatter] 453 00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:29,238 Ah. 454 00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:30,761 I should have killed you 455 00:18:30,805 --> 00:18:33,112 when you were begging me not to rip your neck open 456 00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:34,678 like a stupid baby. 457 00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:36,376 Sometimes I wish you had. 458 00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:38,204 The only thing that kept me going 459 00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:42,295 was the incontrovertible fact that the next time I saw you, 460 00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:46,908 you would be the one cowering in fear. 461 00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:48,344 [electricity buzzing] 462 00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:50,259 I did not want to murder this man 463 00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:52,131 in the middle of town. 464 00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,133 It is going to be messy for the people 465 00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:55,612 who clean up dead bodies. 466 00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:58,267 I'll write "sorry" on the wall in his blood. 467 00:18:58,311 --> 00:19:00,226 [electricity buzzing] 468 00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:02,402 [growls] 469 00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:07,276 Witness, he--he was texting while walking. 470 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,191 Sustained, Your Honor. 471 00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:11,193 Exhibit, bailiff. 472 00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:13,369 It's okay, ma'am. 473 00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:15,589 It'll take more than that to take me out. 474 00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:17,460 [sighs in relief] 475 00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:20,333 Oh, there you are. 476 00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:26,643 Your underwear is arousing me sexually. 477 00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:28,776 Let me buy you a beer, 478 00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:32,127 uh, woman that I just met. 479 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:35,174 [chuckles] 480 00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:37,654 [indistinct chatter] 481 00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:41,310 So... this is finally happening, huh? 482 00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:43,007 - Mm. - I remember that pap smear. 483 00:19:43,051 --> 00:19:45,184 You were down there for quite a while. 484 00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,315 [chuckles awkwardly] 485 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,361 I think you saw something you liked. 486 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:49,536 I get it. - Oh, no! 487 00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:51,494 We have changed. 488 00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,279 We have grown apart. 489 00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:56,847 The mature thing for us to do is to go our way separately. 490 00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:58,893 It is not me. It is you. 491 00:19:58,936 --> 00:19:59,894 It is me. 492 00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,421 [door opens] - Well, crap. 493 00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:08,337 Can you spot me a tequila? - Sure. 494 00:20:08,381 --> 00:20:11,601 Yeah, just got diz-numped. 495 00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:15,170 Hello. 496 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,477 [soft music playing] 497 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:21,176 I saved your breakfast. 498 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,135 The busboy tried to take it. I had to show him my gun. 499 00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:25,441 Yeah, I'm not hungry. 500 00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:27,443 I grabbed a sandwich at the deli. 501 00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:28,836 Oh. 502 00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:31,360 Anyway, you ran off so fast. 503 00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:32,840 Did you find something? 504 00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:34,972 [whispering] Uh, was it the alien? 505 00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:36,496 [sighs] 506 00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:38,541 You know, people think you have to be alone somewhere 507 00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:40,282 for them to get to you. 508 00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:43,067 My wife and I were on a crowded bus in New York City, 509 00:20:43,111 --> 00:20:47,246 and they ripped my child out of my wife's pregnant belly. 510 00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:50,423 I'm not gonna let anyone else suffer like we did. 511 00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:53,077 So, even if there was an alien standing right next to us, 512 00:20:53,121 --> 00:20:54,731 I would not tell you. 513 00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:56,907 And I wouldn't take any action... 514 00:20:56,951 --> 00:21:00,259 not with any innocent people around. 515 00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:02,696 That is so admirable. 516 00:21:02,739 --> 00:21:04,132 Did I say that already? 517 00:21:04,175 --> 00:21:06,090 I feel like I'm repeating myself. 518 00:21:06,134 --> 00:21:07,701 My elbows are hot again. 519 00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:09,877 So what did you want to show me? 520 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,922 Oh. 521 00:21:11,966 --> 00:21:17,493 ♪ 522 00:21:17,537 --> 00:21:21,802 I've been documenting possible alien activity in Patience, 523 00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:23,630 possible UFO sightings, 524 00:21:23,673 --> 00:21:26,894 you know, the stuff people call in about. 525 00:21:26,937 --> 00:21:30,550 ♪ 526 00:21:30,593 --> 00:21:33,683 [dramatic music] 527 00:21:33,727 --> 00:21:35,294 What is this? 528 00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,557 Oh, that was a hoax started by the mayor's son. 529 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,776 I already questioned him. It was nothing. 530 00:21:39,820 --> 00:21:42,388 Unless it means something to you. 531 00:21:42,431 --> 00:21:44,520 No. 532 00:21:44,564 --> 00:21:47,306 May I hang on to this for a bit? 533 00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:49,090 You like my book? 534 00:21:49,133 --> 00:21:51,571 Of course, yes, you can hang on to it. 535 00:21:53,399 --> 00:21:54,704 Sweaty. 536 00:21:54,748 --> 00:21:57,446 Let's catch up tonight, 2100 hours. 537 00:21:57,490 --> 00:21:58,969 Is there a tavern around here? 538 00:21:59,013 --> 00:22:01,363 Yeah, we have a pub. It's called The 59. 539 00:22:01,407 --> 00:22:02,799 I prefer a tavern. 540 00:22:02,843 --> 00:22:05,280 - Is there a difference? - There is a big difference. 541 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,195 Oh, we just have a pub. 542 00:22:08,501 --> 00:22:09,763 I suppose I can go with that. 543 00:22:09,806 --> 00:22:11,678 Thank you. Have a nice day. 544 00:22:11,721 --> 00:22:14,245 I'll see you there. You stay safe, now. 545 00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:21,470 Okay. 546 00:22:21,514 --> 00:22:25,518 Okay, these are for heartburn. 547 00:22:25,561 --> 00:22:28,216 These are for my cat's heartburn. 548 00:22:28,259 --> 00:22:31,393 Ooh, I don't know what this one is. 549 00:22:31,437 --> 00:22:33,743 [coughs] Oh. 550 00:22:33,787 --> 00:22:35,745 I think that one was a bead. 551 00:22:35,789 --> 00:22:37,617 Judes, my knee is on fire. 552 00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:39,358 I need the pain meds that you took 553 00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:40,794 after you fell off the roof. 554 00:22:40,837 --> 00:22:44,580 Yeah, roofing looks like it'd be so easy, yeah? 555 00:22:44,624 --> 00:22:46,103 [scoffs] It's not. 556 00:22:46,147 --> 00:22:48,889 [sighs] Ooh, maybe these ones. 557 00:22:48,932 --> 00:22:51,544 Do you have dry mouth... - Yes. 558 00:22:51,587 --> 00:22:53,284 - Constipation... - So much. 559 00:22:53,328 --> 00:22:55,722 - And mood swings? - Oh, my God, give me those. 560 00:22:55,765 --> 00:22:57,767 That's it. 561 00:22:57,811 --> 00:22:59,900 Can--can I keep just, like, one, 562 00:22:59,943 --> 00:23:01,945 just in case I swallow any more beads? 563 00:23:01,989 --> 00:23:05,035 No, just don't eat beads. 564 00:23:05,079 --> 00:23:06,559 Wow. 565 00:23:06,602 --> 00:23:08,691 Are you, like, a doctor? 566 00:23:11,477 --> 00:23:13,435 [door closes] 567 00:23:13,479 --> 00:23:16,003 [scarfing] 568 00:23:16,046 --> 00:23:19,398 What are you doing here? 569 00:23:19,441 --> 00:23:21,225 Oh, you should be hiding. 570 00:23:23,314 --> 00:23:24,794 I'm an alien. 571 00:23:24,838 --> 00:23:26,753 Aliens do not hide from humans. 572 00:23:26,796 --> 00:23:28,450 Well, you should. 573 00:23:28,494 --> 00:23:29,973 I talked to Liv. 574 00:23:30,017 --> 00:23:32,454 This whole Alien Tracker thing is not just for show. 575 00:23:32,498 --> 00:23:34,456 He's an expert on aliens. 576 00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:35,849 He even wrote a book 577 00:23:35,892 --> 00:23:38,765 about some secret alien government program. 578 00:23:38,808 --> 00:23:41,550 Harry, he could hurt you. 579 00:23:41,594 --> 00:23:43,334 Could you tell the angry nurse 580 00:23:43,378 --> 00:23:47,469 to make a ham sandwich next time? 581 00:23:47,513 --> 00:23:50,298 I feel like maybe you're not taking this very seriously. 582 00:23:50,341 --> 00:23:52,126 What could the Alien Tracker know 583 00:23:52,169 --> 00:23:53,910 about aliens that I do not? 584 00:23:53,954 --> 00:23:58,175 He knows about a secret government alien program, 585 00:23:58,219 --> 00:24:00,177 which means he could know anything, 586 00:24:00,221 --> 00:24:02,528 about your people, the Greys. 587 00:24:02,571 --> 00:24:03,920 Who knows? 588 00:24:03,964 --> 00:24:05,531 It's not safe for you to wander around here. 589 00:24:05,574 --> 00:24:07,010 You really should go home and hide. 590 00:24:07,054 --> 00:24:09,796 Humans hide. Aliens hunt. 591 00:24:09,839 --> 00:24:11,188 If the Alien Tracker 592 00:24:11,232 --> 00:24:13,190 has gained insider knowledge on the Greys, 593 00:24:13,234 --> 00:24:15,410 perhaps I can use him to get to them. 594 00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:17,151 Okay, I will go. 595 00:24:17,194 --> 00:24:18,674 Thank you. 596 00:24:18,718 --> 00:24:20,546 Do you want my pickle? 597 00:24:20,589 --> 00:24:22,199 It's floppy. 598 00:24:22,243 --> 00:24:23,505 No. 599 00:24:23,549 --> 00:24:24,680 All right. 600 00:24:24,724 --> 00:24:27,683 [mysterious music] 601 00:24:27,727 --> 00:24:34,864 ♪ 602 00:24:36,823 --> 00:24:39,782 [crunches] 603 00:24:39,826 --> 00:24:44,526 ♪ 604 00:24:44,570 --> 00:24:46,746 Max. 605 00:24:46,789 --> 00:24:49,139 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. 606 00:24:49,183 --> 00:24:52,229 My name is Peter Bach. - You're the Alien Tracker! 607 00:24:52,273 --> 00:24:54,710 I need your help finding someone... 608 00:24:54,754 --> 00:24:57,626 or maybe I should say "something." 609 00:24:57,670 --> 00:25:00,237 Uh, that's just a joke I made up. 610 00:25:00,281 --> 00:25:03,197 I'm really funny for my size. [chuckles awkwardly] 611 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,373 Well, I-I don't think it's a joke. 612 00:25:05,416 --> 00:25:08,071 This looks exactly like an extraterrestrial 613 00:25:08,115 --> 00:25:11,248 that I saw here today. 614 00:25:11,292 --> 00:25:14,425 - You can really see them? - Just like you. 615 00:25:14,469 --> 00:25:18,734 ♪ 616 00:25:18,778 --> 00:25:22,259 No, I told you-- I just made it up. 617 00:25:22,303 --> 00:25:25,045 I remember when I saw my first alien 618 00:25:25,088 --> 00:25:26,568 that had a humanoid form. 619 00:25:26,612 --> 00:25:30,093 But when I saw his face... like a snake. 620 00:25:30,137 --> 00:25:32,618 Whoa. An Alpha Draconian. 621 00:25:32,661 --> 00:25:36,186 His gaze bore right into mine, 622 00:25:36,230 --> 00:25:38,928 but no one else could see what I saw. 623 00:25:38,972 --> 00:25:40,800 To them, he looked just like a regular person. 624 00:25:40,843 --> 00:25:43,324 I thought I was going crazy. 625 00:25:43,367 --> 00:25:45,892 Now, you've probably been called crazy before. too. 626 00:25:45,935 --> 00:25:47,371 Yeah. 627 00:25:47,415 --> 00:25:49,591 Why don't you tell me who he is? 628 00:25:49,635 --> 00:25:52,855 ♪ 629 00:25:52,899 --> 00:25:55,336 I can't. - Max, listen to me. 630 00:25:55,379 --> 00:25:57,773 I understand. You're trying to protect him. 631 00:25:57,817 --> 00:25:59,166 H-he's probably got you convinced 632 00:25:59,209 --> 00:26:00,776 that he's your friend. 633 00:26:00,820 --> 00:26:03,736 But aliens don't come all this way to be our friends. 634 00:26:03,779 --> 00:26:05,781 They come here to do us harm. 635 00:26:05,825 --> 00:26:09,045 This one won't. He's a good alien. 636 00:26:09,089 --> 00:26:11,787 You see this? 637 00:26:11,831 --> 00:26:14,181 He did that. 638 00:26:14,224 --> 00:26:16,662 He would kill me if he had half a chance. 639 00:26:16,705 --> 00:26:20,753 And if it suits him, that alien will kill you, too. 640 00:26:20,796 --> 00:26:23,538 [dramatic music] 641 00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:27,411 Here, call me when you're ready to tell me who he is. 642 00:26:27,455 --> 00:26:30,632 All of humanity might be at stake. 643 00:26:30,676 --> 00:26:35,724 ♪ 644 00:26:35,768 --> 00:26:39,075 There is a word for little boys like Max-- 645 00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:40,642 "traitor." 646 00:26:40,686 --> 00:26:42,426 [engine turning over] 647 00:26:42,470 --> 00:26:45,299 And also "shit weasel" and "dink." 648 00:26:45,342 --> 00:26:46,953 There are many words. 649 00:26:49,825 --> 00:26:52,436 - Here you go, honey. - Mmm, thank you, hon. 650 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,395 - Excellent soup. - Mm-hmm. 651 00:26:54,438 --> 00:26:55,788 Oh, thank you. 652 00:26:55,831 --> 00:26:58,791 You know how a taste can take you back? 653 00:26:58,834 --> 00:27:00,749 This soup here-- this reminds me this one time. 654 00:27:00,793 --> 00:27:02,795 Five years ago... - Mm-hmm. 655 00:27:02,838 --> 00:27:06,755 I had a bowl of soup-- taste just like this. 656 00:27:06,799 --> 00:27:08,931 Speaking of work, I heard 657 00:27:08,975 --> 00:27:12,369 uh, there was quite a commotion on Main Street the other day. 658 00:27:12,413 --> 00:27:13,849 - Hmm. - Apparently Mike 659 00:27:13,893 --> 00:27:16,417 had to round up a pack of rowdy teenagers. 660 00:27:16,460 --> 00:27:18,027 Yes, I did. 661 00:27:18,071 --> 00:27:21,509 They were throwing Dan's stale dumpster doughnuts at traffic. 662 00:27:21,552 --> 00:27:23,685 They were frozen solid like hockey pucks, 663 00:27:23,729 --> 00:27:24,991 could have killed somebody. 664 00:27:25,034 --> 00:27:27,515 You know, why would they do such a thing? 665 00:27:27,558 --> 00:27:30,605 I'll tell you why-- boredom. 666 00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:33,956 Yes, it is a big, big problem in quiet towns. 667 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,436 Oh, is that so? 668 00:27:35,479 --> 00:27:36,829 It is so. 669 00:27:36,872 --> 00:27:38,700 You know, teenagers, they need something 670 00:27:38,744 --> 00:27:41,094 to keep their naturally criminal mind occupied, 671 00:27:41,137 --> 00:27:44,532 you know, something like skiing or riding gondolas 672 00:27:44,575 --> 00:27:46,316 or shopping at hip stores. 673 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:48,101 Oh, I see what this is. 674 00:27:48,144 --> 00:27:49,450 What? This is nothing. 675 00:27:49,493 --> 00:27:51,974 I just invited Mike over for a good meal. 676 00:27:52,018 --> 00:27:53,715 Although technically food isn't a meal 677 00:27:53,759 --> 00:27:55,108 unless it's solid, but... 678 00:27:55,151 --> 00:27:57,850 I do understand where you're coming from Mike. 679 00:27:57,893 --> 00:28:00,461 Obviously, there's a lot to gain from a resort, 680 00:28:00,504 --> 00:28:03,725 but I now realize that there may be a lot more to lose. 681 00:28:03,769 --> 00:28:06,119 You see, you and I-- we're a lot alike. 682 00:28:06,162 --> 00:28:08,556 We're both city people. We miss the same things-- 683 00:28:08,599 --> 00:28:10,210 you know, the action, the culture, 684 00:28:10,253 --> 00:28:12,212 having a museum that's got something in it 685 00:28:12,255 --> 00:28:15,911 other than pickaxes and whorehouse furniture. 686 00:28:15,955 --> 00:28:18,261 Sorry about that. You probably don't know what that is. 687 00:28:18,305 --> 00:28:20,263 - No, he doesn't. - Okay. 688 00:28:20,307 --> 00:28:22,570 You see, a whore is somebody who gets paid for sex, 689 00:28:22,613 --> 00:28:24,050 like a prostitute or-- - Okay. 690 00:28:24,093 --> 00:28:26,443 Okay, I think that's enough of a vocabulary lesson. 691 00:28:26,487 --> 00:28:29,229 I love cities and museums, 692 00:28:29,272 --> 00:28:30,883 but Patience is a quaint town, 693 00:28:30,926 --> 00:28:33,581 and I'm really beginning to appreciate that. 694 00:28:33,624 --> 00:28:35,148 A resort would take away its charm. 695 00:28:35,191 --> 00:28:37,672 Patience don't need charm. It needs rats. 696 00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:38,978 Uh, W-what's that? 697 00:28:39,021 --> 00:28:40,806 - I like rats. - You should. 698 00:28:40,849 --> 00:28:43,765 Nothing says successful town like a good rat infestation. 699 00:28:43,809 --> 00:28:44,897 See, every healthy town 700 00:28:44,940 --> 00:28:46,942 has restaurants that's full of people, 701 00:28:46,986 --> 00:28:48,596 and that means they throwing away half their food, 702 00:28:48,639 --> 00:28:49,858 and that brings in the rats. 703 00:28:49,902 --> 00:28:51,904 This one time, I was on a stakeout in D.C., 704 00:28:51,947 --> 00:28:54,471 and I fell asleep, and a rat ran right across my face. 705 00:28:54,515 --> 00:28:56,865 I knew at that moment, I had made it. 706 00:28:56,909 --> 00:28:58,867 I think you're losing the argument. 707 00:29:00,216 --> 00:29:01,696 Why did I even go? 708 00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:03,480 What did I expect? 709 00:29:03,524 --> 00:29:05,700 She's your mom. You had to try. 710 00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:07,789 [sighs] I know. 711 00:29:07,833 --> 00:29:09,138 I just thought that she would tell me 712 00:29:09,182 --> 00:29:12,489 that what happened to her was like with me and Jay, 713 00:29:12,533 --> 00:29:14,056 you know? 714 00:29:14,100 --> 00:29:17,190 She gave me up to give me a better life, 715 00:29:17,233 --> 00:29:19,453 but she still loved me... 716 00:29:19,496 --> 00:29:21,629 or at least thought of me. 717 00:29:21,672 --> 00:29:23,587 Except it's not true. 718 00:29:23,631 --> 00:29:25,502 You know what every child needs most? 719 00:29:25,546 --> 00:29:27,069 - Hmm? - For their mother to tell them 720 00:29:27,113 --> 00:29:29,289 they love them and that they'll always be there for them. 721 00:29:29,332 --> 00:29:30,812 It's, like, the bare minimum. 722 00:29:30,856 --> 00:29:32,640 I could have used that. 723 00:29:32,683 --> 00:29:35,121 Yeah, but she couldn't give that to you. 724 00:29:35,164 --> 00:29:37,471 And that's on her. You can't control that. 725 00:29:37,514 --> 00:29:40,300 And, yeah, it left a big hole, 726 00:29:40,343 --> 00:29:44,434 but you filled that with family, with your dad, 727 00:29:44,478 --> 00:29:47,568 Graham, me, all of us. 728 00:29:47,611 --> 00:29:49,309 And we love you unconditionally, 729 00:29:49,352 --> 00:29:51,833 and that's never gonna change. 730 00:29:51,877 --> 00:29:55,663 Thank you. I love you guys, too. 731 00:29:55,706 --> 00:29:58,666 [soft music playing] 732 00:29:58,709 --> 00:30:01,495 What's this? This my tip? 733 00:30:01,538 --> 00:30:02,801 Sorry, it's all I got. 734 00:30:02,844 --> 00:30:05,325 Well, maybe then don't come into a bar. 735 00:30:05,368 --> 00:30:06,717 How about that? Yeah? 736 00:30:06,761 --> 00:30:08,894 - Okay. Wow. Okay. - No, it's not okay, actually. 737 00:30:08,937 --> 00:30:10,983 What the hell's wrong with you? It's ruining the Earth. 738 00:30:11,026 --> 00:30:13,768 These are precious metals, all right? 739 00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:16,466 [coin clatters] 740 00:30:16,510 --> 00:30:17,859 Can I get you two hotties anything? 741 00:30:17,903 --> 00:30:19,861 - Uh, no. - No. 742 00:30:19,905 --> 00:30:20,906 We're--we're good. 743 00:30:20,949 --> 00:30:23,212 Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! 744 00:30:23,256 --> 00:30:25,562 You let me know. 745 00:30:25,606 --> 00:30:29,044 - What the hell was that? - [inhales deeply] 746 00:30:29,088 --> 00:30:31,133 And, yes, a new soccer field would be nice, 747 00:30:31,177 --> 00:30:32,787 but at what cost? 748 00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:34,702 You know, the added revenue the resort brings in 749 00:30:34,745 --> 00:30:35,877 would be so good for the town. 750 00:30:35,921 --> 00:30:37,487 I mean, think--think of the tourism. 751 00:30:37,531 --> 00:30:38,880 Honey, I am talking to Mike. 752 00:30:38,924 --> 00:30:40,186 You know the pact. - Mm-hmm. 753 00:30:40,229 --> 00:30:41,448 You and I shouldn't get into it. 754 00:30:41,491 --> 00:30:43,058 Right. 755 00:30:43,102 --> 00:30:44,886 Tell the mayor that tourists bring a lot more than money. 756 00:30:44,930 --> 00:30:46,540 They bring traffic and noise. 757 00:30:46,583 --> 00:30:48,716 I mean, and can we even talk about the environmental impact? 758 00:30:48,759 --> 00:30:49,891 [scoffs] - I mean, you-- 759 00:30:49,935 --> 00:30:51,110 you just heard that, right? 760 00:30:51,153 --> 00:30:53,025 It don't make no sense for me to repeat it 761 00:30:53,068 --> 00:30:55,027 if you just heard it. - Well, see, what impact? 762 00:30:55,070 --> 00:30:56,158 The developer has 763 00:30:56,202 --> 00:30:58,030 a near-perfect environmental record. 764 00:30:58,073 --> 00:30:59,988 Okay, is there another way of saying that? 765 00:31:00,032 --> 00:31:01,772 'Cause that makes it sound like it ain't perfect. 766 00:31:01,816 --> 00:31:03,818 It's not perfect-- if they get a resort, 767 00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:05,907 we'd lose 2% of the state's natural geese habitat. 768 00:31:05,951 --> 00:31:07,430 If we have a resort, 769 00:31:07,474 --> 00:31:09,824 the state gets 200% more snowplows. 770 00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:11,347 Max, you like snowplows, right? 771 00:31:11,391 --> 00:31:13,219 Max, how do you like to see your geese-- 772 00:31:13,262 --> 00:31:15,917 up in the air or in a mass grave? 773 00:31:15,961 --> 00:31:19,573 I'm gonna go eat upstairs. 774 00:31:19,616 --> 00:31:21,053 [clears throat] 775 00:31:21,096 --> 00:31:22,881 I mean, personally, I think the geese can move. 776 00:31:22,924 --> 00:31:24,404 I mean, they can fly. 777 00:31:24,447 --> 00:31:27,189 Okay. You want to talk? 778 00:31:27,233 --> 00:31:29,148 Let's talk it out. 779 00:31:29,191 --> 00:31:31,106 So you get a resort. 780 00:31:31,150 --> 00:31:33,500 Maybe some rich businessman runs it. 781 00:31:33,543 --> 00:31:35,676 He comes to town. He likes it here. 782 00:31:35,719 --> 00:31:38,461 Maybe he even runs for mayor and wins. 783 00:31:38,505 --> 00:31:39,985 Everybody likes him. 784 00:31:40,028 --> 00:31:42,465 Now let's say that that businessman 785 00:31:42,509 --> 00:31:44,119 starts throwing his money around, 786 00:31:44,163 --> 00:31:47,514 and suddenly all the buildings are ugly and modern 787 00:31:47,557 --> 00:31:49,255 and have his name on them. 788 00:31:49,298 --> 00:31:50,691 He gets cocky. 789 00:31:50,734 --> 00:31:52,649 He offers you a million dollars to bang your wife. 790 00:31:52,693 --> 00:31:53,955 - [chokes] - Uh, what's that? 791 00:31:53,999 --> 00:31:55,435 And I say, "No, I'm not some cheap whore. 792 00:31:55,478 --> 00:31:56,610 "A million dollars 793 00:31:56,653 --> 00:31:58,046 is practically nothing these days." 794 00:31:58,090 --> 00:31:59,656 So he offers me $5 million. 795 00:31:59,700 --> 00:32:01,615 And I say, "For that amount, you can have me all weekend," 796 00:32:01,658 --> 00:32:03,356 'cause he's not just rich. 797 00:32:03,399 --> 00:32:05,140 He's also really hot. 798 00:32:07,882 --> 00:32:10,972 Okay, you guys changed gears way too fast. 799 00:32:11,016 --> 00:32:13,801 There was a child down here not two minutes ago. 800 00:32:13,844 --> 00:32:16,804 [mysterious music] 801 00:32:16,847 --> 00:32:22,462 ♪ 802 00:32:22,505 --> 00:32:25,073 - What are you doing here? - I'm eating your candy. 803 00:32:25,117 --> 00:32:26,118 It's stale. 804 00:32:26,161 --> 00:32:27,467 You should have another Halloween 805 00:32:27,510 --> 00:32:28,859 so you can get fresh ones. 806 00:32:28,903 --> 00:32:31,427 You know, the police are downstairs. 807 00:32:31,471 --> 00:32:32,951 I could just scream. 808 00:32:32,994 --> 00:32:34,474 Why scream for the police? 809 00:32:34,517 --> 00:32:38,913 Why not scream for your new friend, the Alien Tracker? 810 00:32:38,957 --> 00:32:41,046 ♪ 811 00:32:41,089 --> 00:32:42,395 How do you know about that? 812 00:32:44,527 --> 00:32:46,573 Tell me where I can find him. 813 00:32:46,616 --> 00:32:48,749 I... 814 00:32:48,792 --> 00:32:50,011 can't. 815 00:32:50,055 --> 00:32:51,882 Because you are his friend. 816 00:32:51,926 --> 00:32:53,841 You were my friend first. 817 00:32:53,884 --> 00:32:55,103 You said I wasn't your friend. 818 00:32:55,147 --> 00:32:57,236 You said I was like your dad. 819 00:32:57,279 --> 00:32:58,715 You spanked me. 820 00:32:58,759 --> 00:33:02,981 Softly, like a father who wants to be your friend. 821 00:33:03,024 --> 00:33:06,027 Yeah, I was going to buy a motorcycle with a sidecar 822 00:33:06,071 --> 00:33:10,466 so we could ride around town together, like friends do. 823 00:33:10,510 --> 00:33:13,295 I don't believe you, because when I asked if you wanted 824 00:33:13,339 --> 00:33:15,471 to ride in my bicycle basket like ET, 825 00:33:15,515 --> 00:33:17,865 you told me to fill my basket with rocks 826 00:33:17,908 --> 00:33:19,693 and ride into the lake. 827 00:33:19,736 --> 00:33:21,869 Because I am not the same size. 828 00:33:21,912 --> 00:33:26,178 ET was shaped like a sexy potato. 829 00:33:26,221 --> 00:33:29,181 He's perfect for basket rides. 830 00:33:29,224 --> 00:33:31,531 I need salty to follow sweet. 831 00:33:31,574 --> 00:33:32,880 Yeah. 832 00:33:32,923 --> 00:33:35,448 And then I'm going to need sweet again. 833 00:33:35,491 --> 00:33:37,450 [chuckles] 834 00:33:37,493 --> 00:33:39,713 Mmm, could be warmer. 835 00:33:39,756 --> 00:33:42,063 So... 836 00:33:42,107 --> 00:33:45,023 did you tell your Alien Tracker friend 837 00:33:45,066 --> 00:33:46,850 where I live so he could come to my house 838 00:33:46,894 --> 00:33:48,069 and put me in a cage? 839 00:33:48,113 --> 00:33:49,940 I didn't tell him, I swear. 840 00:33:49,984 --> 00:33:51,942 I don't believe you. 841 00:33:51,986 --> 00:33:53,770 That's because you're always lying, 842 00:33:53,814 --> 00:33:55,294 so you think everyone else is, too. 843 00:33:55,337 --> 00:33:58,384 You lie, too, just like me, and steal, 844 00:33:58,427 --> 00:34:02,431 just like I am going to steal all of your candy. 845 00:34:04,955 --> 00:34:09,090 See, we are so alike. - [sighs] 846 00:34:09,134 --> 00:34:11,658 You should help me get this hairless asshole. 847 00:34:11,701 --> 00:34:12,746 [sniffles] 848 00:34:12,789 --> 00:34:15,749 [somber music] 849 00:34:15,792 --> 00:34:17,359 But I like him. 850 00:34:17,403 --> 00:34:18,969 He's the first grown-up I ever met 851 00:34:19,013 --> 00:34:20,710 who makes me feel like I'm not a freak. 852 00:34:20,754 --> 00:34:22,103 He understands me. 853 00:34:22,147 --> 00:34:24,105 He doesn't understand you. 854 00:34:24,149 --> 00:34:25,759 No one knows you like I know you. 855 00:34:25,802 --> 00:34:27,587 Think of a number between one and ten. 856 00:34:27,630 --> 00:34:31,417 If we think of the same number, then we are the same, 857 00:34:31,460 --> 00:34:32,766 and you will help me. 858 00:34:32,809 --> 00:34:34,289 What number are you thinking of? 859 00:34:34,333 --> 00:34:35,769 Six. 860 00:34:35,812 --> 00:34:39,033 I was thinking of 6.5-- so close. 861 00:34:39,077 --> 00:34:41,340 We need to work on our friendship. 862 00:34:41,383 --> 00:34:44,604 Let's kill this guy together. - No! 863 00:34:44,647 --> 00:34:45,953 Whose side are you on? 864 00:34:45,996 --> 00:34:49,609 Look, if you will not pick a side, 865 00:34:49,652 --> 00:34:52,351 then I will call 866 00:34:52,394 --> 00:34:55,310 my real friends. 867 00:34:55,354 --> 00:34:57,921 Hey. 868 00:34:57,965 --> 00:35:01,621 Lloyd, it's your homey, 869 00:35:01,664 --> 00:35:03,579 uh, Harry Vanderspeigle. 870 00:35:03,623 --> 00:35:05,973 Yes, uh, come to the cabin. 871 00:35:06,016 --> 00:35:07,975 Yeah, let's, uh, have a dance party. 872 00:35:08,018 --> 00:35:09,237 Oh, no, no. 873 00:35:09,281 --> 00:35:11,152 Don't, uh, worry about it. 874 00:35:11,196 --> 00:35:14,199 I'm bringing the snacks. [laughing] 875 00:35:14,242 --> 00:35:16,114 [sighs] 876 00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:20,335 [dramatic music] 877 00:35:20,379 --> 00:35:26,298 ♪ 878 00:35:29,301 --> 00:35:31,346 Thanks for meeting for a drink. 879 00:35:31,390 --> 00:35:32,521 You don't have to thank me. 880 00:35:32,565 --> 00:35:34,044 I could drink this whole bar dry 881 00:35:34,088 --> 00:35:35,611 after dinner with the mayor. 882 00:35:35,655 --> 00:35:38,440 That whole house is a giant powder keg of sexual tension. 883 00:35:38,484 --> 00:35:40,790 [laughs] Yeah, I've seen that. 884 00:35:40,834 --> 00:35:42,183 So where's your Alien Tracker friend? 885 00:35:42,227 --> 00:35:44,098 You're supposed to meet him here tonight, right? 886 00:35:44,142 --> 00:35:46,448 We were supposed to meet, but he didn't show. 887 00:35:46,492 --> 00:35:48,276 - Sorry about that, Deputy. - Don't be. 888 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:49,625 He didn't show up 889 00:35:49,669 --> 00:35:52,541 because I think he's hot on the trail of an alien. 890 00:35:52,585 --> 00:35:54,891 - [laughs] - Okay, tease me if you want. 891 00:35:54,935 --> 00:35:56,241 I don't mind. 892 00:35:56,284 --> 00:35:59,287 You know, my whole life I've been a bystander. 893 00:35:59,331 --> 00:36:00,984 I never call the shots. 894 00:36:01,028 --> 00:36:03,204 But this time I decided to trust my instincts. 895 00:36:03,248 --> 00:36:04,597 I took control, 896 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,774 and I got the Alien Tracker himself to Patience. 897 00:36:07,817 --> 00:36:09,558 He came because I made it happen. 898 00:36:09,602 --> 00:36:11,256 Well, good. I'm proud of you, Deputy. 899 00:36:11,299 --> 00:36:12,431 Thank you. 900 00:36:12,474 --> 00:36:14,084 I'm proud of me, too. - Mm-hmm. 901 00:36:14,128 --> 00:36:15,956 You know, I've been sitting back my whole life, 902 00:36:15,999 --> 00:36:18,219 and maybe I'm getting tired of sitting. 903 00:36:18,263 --> 00:36:21,527 And don't be mad. - Mad about what? 904 00:36:22,919 --> 00:36:25,531 Oh, my God, are you kidding me? I'm not date-ready. 905 00:36:25,574 --> 00:36:27,141 This ain't even my second best pair of pants. 906 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:28,882 She looks nice, and you do, too. 907 00:36:28,925 --> 00:36:30,884 Okay, all right, I got this. Come on, go on. 908 00:36:30,927 --> 00:36:32,625 Go on. Get out. Go ahead. I got it. I got it. 909 00:36:32,668 --> 00:36:34,366 You're dismissed, uh, Deputy. [clears throat] 910 00:36:34,409 --> 00:36:35,584 - Hi. - Hi. 911 00:36:35,628 --> 00:36:36,585 - Hey, there. - I was just leaving. 912 00:36:36,629 --> 00:36:37,717 - Oh, okay. - Yeah. 913 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,241 - Thanks, Deputy. - Yep. 914 00:36:40,285 --> 00:36:42,069 - Sheriff. - Detective. 915 00:36:42,112 --> 00:36:45,681 Do... [laughter] 916 00:36:45,725 --> 00:36:48,554 I, um--I never figured you for a patterned-shirt guy. 917 00:36:48,597 --> 00:36:50,208 I kind of like it. 918 00:36:50,251 --> 00:36:54,777 Yeah, well, the pattern helps hide what's underneath here. 919 00:36:54,821 --> 00:36:56,605 Gerber StrongArm-- this right here 920 00:36:56,649 --> 00:36:58,477 is the best blade money can buy. 921 00:37:00,305 --> 00:37:01,915 Couldn't agree more. [laughs] 922 00:37:01,958 --> 00:37:03,046 I'll be damned. 923 00:37:03,090 --> 00:37:04,961 You know what? Let me get you a beer. 924 00:37:05,005 --> 00:37:07,007 Uh, let me get you one. 925 00:37:07,050 --> 00:37:09,270 - Oh, gonna get me a beer? - I am. 926 00:37:09,314 --> 00:37:11,141 - Okay. - [laughs] 927 00:37:11,185 --> 00:37:14,144 [pop rock music] 928 00:37:14,188 --> 00:37:21,151 ♪ 929 00:37:21,195 --> 00:37:24,067 [cell phone ringing] 930 00:37:27,288 --> 00:37:29,812 Hey. 931 00:37:29,856 --> 00:37:32,293 Oh, my gosh, are you serious? 932 00:37:32,337 --> 00:37:33,773 That's great news. 933 00:37:33,816 --> 00:37:35,514 Ooh! Okay. 934 00:37:35,557 --> 00:37:37,080 Okay, good night. 935 00:37:44,349 --> 00:37:46,307 [both chuckle] 936 00:37:46,351 --> 00:37:47,613 Good news? 937 00:37:47,656 --> 00:37:49,571 It's not something I can talk about here. 938 00:37:49,615 --> 00:37:51,747 It's just--it's no big deal. 939 00:37:51,791 --> 00:37:53,575 - Mm, honoring the pact. - Mm-hmm. 940 00:37:53,619 --> 00:37:56,274 Okay, then. 941 00:37:56,317 --> 00:37:58,232 Yeah. 942 00:37:58,276 --> 00:37:59,538 Restraining order? - Granted. 943 00:37:59,581 --> 00:38:01,191 Damn it. 944 00:38:01,235 --> 00:38:03,498 Look, honey, I don't want to talk about the resort, okay? 945 00:38:03,542 --> 00:38:05,500 Let's just leave it. 946 00:38:05,544 --> 00:38:08,242 The part of me that's your husband... 947 00:38:08,286 --> 00:38:10,505 is glad to see you smiling. 948 00:38:10,549 --> 00:38:12,159 I like it when you're happy. 949 00:38:12,202 --> 00:38:14,509 Thank you. 950 00:38:14,553 --> 00:38:15,858 I am. - [chuckles] 951 00:38:15,902 --> 00:38:18,774 I'm really happy. both: Mmm. 952 00:38:21,647 --> 00:38:24,519 But the part of me that's fighting for this resort 953 00:38:24,563 --> 00:38:27,130 cannot wait to crush you in court. 954 00:38:27,174 --> 00:38:29,524 I will stomp you like a grape 955 00:38:29,568 --> 00:38:31,526 until you realize you have wasted your time 956 00:38:31,570 --> 00:38:33,876 and you feel absolutely worthless. 957 00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:36,662 - Okay, pact's back on. - Mm-hmm. 958 00:38:36,705 --> 00:38:40,361 - Good night, honey. - Night. 959 00:38:40,405 --> 00:38:44,365 [indistinct chatter] 960 00:38:44,409 --> 00:38:46,236 - Hey, Jay. - [sighs] 961 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,195 You got a minute? 962 00:38:48,238 --> 00:38:49,718 I just worked all night, 963 00:38:49,762 --> 00:38:52,330 and I have barbecue sauce in my hair. 964 00:38:52,373 --> 00:38:53,635 I totally get that. 965 00:38:53,679 --> 00:38:55,550 I-I just need to tell you this one thing. 966 00:38:55,594 --> 00:38:57,944 - [scoffs] - Okay, um... 967 00:38:57,987 --> 00:39:02,122 you probably had a lot of questions growing up, 968 00:39:02,165 --> 00:39:06,213 and maybe meeting me has helped you answer some of them. 969 00:39:06,256 --> 00:39:09,564 But the most important thing I need to tell you is... 970 00:39:09,608 --> 00:39:12,350 [sighs] I love you. 971 00:39:12,393 --> 00:39:14,874 I've thought about you every day of your life. 972 00:39:14,917 --> 00:39:18,486 And if you ever need me, I'm here for you. 973 00:39:18,530 --> 00:39:22,708 And if you never need me, that's okay, too. 974 00:39:22,751 --> 00:39:25,667 It's not your job to worry about me. 975 00:39:25,711 --> 00:39:28,104 I'll be fine. 976 00:39:28,148 --> 00:39:29,541 And I'll still love you. 977 00:39:29,584 --> 00:39:31,543 [breathes shakily] 978 00:39:31,586 --> 00:39:33,501 So... 979 00:39:33,545 --> 00:39:35,111 that's it. 980 00:39:35,155 --> 00:39:37,505 [sentimental music] 981 00:39:37,549 --> 00:39:41,074 All right. 982 00:39:41,117 --> 00:39:44,425 ♪ 983 00:39:44,469 --> 00:39:47,820 [sighs happily] 984 00:39:47,863 --> 00:39:49,909 Hello? 985 00:39:49,952 --> 00:39:51,214 D'arcy? 986 00:39:55,741 --> 00:39:59,092 [door closes] 987 00:39:59,135 --> 00:40:01,790 Hey. D'arcy? 988 00:40:01,834 --> 00:40:05,272 [gasps, chuckles] Oh, hey. 989 00:40:05,315 --> 00:40:07,622 Hey. 990 00:40:07,666 --> 00:40:10,364 What's going on? - I don't know. You tell me. 991 00:40:10,408 --> 00:40:12,018 It's 1:00 in the morning. 992 00:40:12,061 --> 00:40:14,281 Were you really gonna sleep in here with the door unlocked? 993 00:40:14,324 --> 00:40:16,979 Um, I was just cleaning up. I lost track of time. 994 00:40:17,023 --> 00:40:18,590 Really? 995 00:40:18,633 --> 00:40:20,505 'Cause it looked like you were sleeping on the pool table. 996 00:40:20,548 --> 00:40:21,984 You gonna tell me where to sleep now? 997 00:40:22,028 --> 00:40:23,333 - Okay. - Wait, wait. 998 00:40:23,377 --> 00:40:25,466 We had plans. 999 00:40:25,510 --> 00:40:28,382 I waited for two hours. 1000 00:40:28,426 --> 00:40:29,905 Maybe I should just take a hint. 1001 00:40:29,949 --> 00:40:31,516 No. 1002 00:40:31,559 --> 00:40:33,213 Obviously you're not taking me or any of this seriously. 1003 00:40:33,256 --> 00:40:35,128 I feel like you're being a little dramatic. 1004 00:40:35,171 --> 00:40:37,260 If you care even just a little bit about me, 1005 00:40:37,304 --> 00:40:39,698 you need to tell me what's really going on. 1006 00:40:42,527 --> 00:40:44,006 Please? 1007 00:40:44,050 --> 00:40:45,791 It's okay. - [stammers] 1008 00:40:45,834 --> 00:40:47,619 It's fine, all right? 1009 00:40:47,662 --> 00:40:50,056 Just--let me just grab my stuff, and we can go. 1010 00:40:50,099 --> 00:40:51,318 No. 1011 00:40:52,711 --> 00:40:55,888 What do you mean-- what do you mean "no"? 1012 00:40:55,931 --> 00:40:59,195 I think it's best if we just leave it at this. 1013 00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:01,328 Elliot, like... 1014 00:41:01,371 --> 00:41:02,634 no. 1015 00:41:02,677 --> 00:41:05,593 [somber music] 1016 00:41:05,637 --> 00:41:07,943 ♪ 1017 00:41:07,987 --> 00:41:10,598 Don't... 1018 00:41:10,642 --> 00:41:12,382 Please don't go. 1019 00:41:12,426 --> 00:41:16,343 ♪ 1020 00:41:16,386 --> 00:41:19,346 [sighs] 1021 00:41:19,389 --> 00:41:21,391 [sobs] 1022 00:41:21,435 --> 00:41:23,524 ♪ 1023 00:41:23,568 --> 00:41:25,178 Bye, D'arcy. 1024 00:41:25,221 --> 00:41:32,054 ♪ 1025 00:41:32,098 --> 00:41:35,405 It's probably best if you lock up behind me. 1026 00:41:35,449 --> 00:41:39,018 ♪ 1027 00:41:39,061 --> 00:41:41,411 [sobs] 1028 00:41:41,455 --> 00:41:43,152 [grunts] 1029 00:41:46,504 --> 00:41:49,332 [Brian Eno and David Byrne's "One Fine Day"] 1030 00:41:49,376 --> 00:41:51,552 It is natural for aliens to take control 1031 00:41:51,596 --> 00:41:53,075 of their lives. 1032 00:41:53,119 --> 00:41:55,817 It is not so natural for humans. 1033 00:41:55,861 --> 00:42:02,955 ♪ 1034 00:42:09,396 --> 00:42:11,572 [crying] 1035 00:42:11,616 --> 00:42:13,139 [sighs] 1036 00:42:13,182 --> 00:42:17,099 ♪ Saw the wanderin' eye 1037 00:42:17,143 --> 00:42:19,754 ♪ Inside my heart 1038 00:42:19,798 --> 00:42:23,453 ♪ Shouts and battle cries 1039 00:42:23,497 --> 00:42:26,108 ♪ From every part 1040 00:42:26,152 --> 00:42:29,808 ♪ I can see those tears 1041 00:42:29,851 --> 00:42:32,593 ♪ Every one is true 1042 00:42:32,637 --> 00:42:36,075 ♪ When the door appears 1043 00:42:36,118 --> 00:42:38,294 ♪ I'll go right 1044 00:42:38,338 --> 00:42:44,039 ♪ Through 1045 00:42:44,083 --> 00:42:46,433 Part of being human is finding the strength 1046 00:42:46,476 --> 00:42:49,262 to fight through the obstacles in your life. 1047 00:42:49,305 --> 00:42:51,307 ♪ 1048 00:42:51,351 --> 00:42:55,094 ♪ I stand in liquid light 1049 00:42:55,137 --> 00:42:57,836 ♪ Like everyone 1050 00:42:57,879 --> 00:43:01,753 ♪ I built my life with rhymes ♪ 1051 00:43:01,796 --> 00:43:03,319 ♪ To carry on... 1052 00:43:03,363 --> 00:43:06,932 While there are some obstacles you cannot control, 1053 00:43:06,975 --> 00:43:09,717 there are some you can. 1054 00:43:09,761 --> 00:43:13,895 [electricity buzzing] 1055 00:43:13,939 --> 00:43:17,029 ♪ That one fine 1056 00:43:17,072 --> 00:43:21,947 ♪ One fine day 1057 00:43:21,990 --> 00:43:23,339 Like a little boy 1058 00:43:23,383 --> 00:43:25,559 who wants to be friends with an alien so badly, 1059 00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:28,301 he is willing to trick that alien's enemy. 1060 00:43:28,344 --> 00:43:30,477 ♪ 1061 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,436 [warbling] 1062 00:43:35,874 --> 00:43:38,441 Max picked the right side. 1063 00:43:40,139 --> 00:43:41,662 No! 1064 00:43:41,706 --> 00:43:59,506 ♪ One fine day