1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,679 Hello, Viv! Hello. - She sounds like a monster. 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:07,239 Oh, I know, I won't vote for her, she's horrific. 3 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:09,280 Are you with me? 4 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,479 Our records show you may not have leave to remain. 5 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:14,639 They're taking him away? 6 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,959 They're flying me out at 7am. 7 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,119 You can't deport someone in a single day! 8 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:19,759 Ho-ho, your little world. 9 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:21,199 Hello, Bethany speaking. 10 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:24,079 Oh, my God! - I had it implanted. My hand is the phone! 11 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:26,399 You were exposed to one gray of radiation. 12 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,119 I think you might have ten years. 13 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,639 This programme contains some strong language 14 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,519 Go on, Vivienne! You did it. 15 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:35,639 Stephen, how much did you lose? 16 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,519 £1,135,000. 17 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:40,959 Let me in! 18 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,159 Where are you going to live? 19 00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:43,480 Welcome home. 20 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,359 Just look at the state we are in. 21 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:01,679 Christmas has been ruined for so many hard-working families. 22 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:03,879 The collapse of the banks goes on and on. 23 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,519 Now they say Hathersage is in trouble. 24 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:08,639 For God's sake, my mother has got her life savings in Hathersage. 25 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,559 But they've done it, haven't they, the banks? 26 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:12,439 They've left us completely BLEEP. 27 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,119 We've told you before, you really can't use language like that. 28 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,999 Well, you can censor me all you like, 29 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,599 but they swear, don't you? 30 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:21,879 All of you. 31 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,839 When you think of what the system has done to us, 32 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:25,160 don't you swear the roof down? 33 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,719 What do we do, the rest of us normal people? What do we do? 34 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,039 Normal people? You're a Member of Parliament. 35 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:33,839 You're supposed to have the answer. 36 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,999 I think I have, I've got exactly that, 37 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,239 because next year we face a general election and, God knows, 38 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,039 we need to shake things up, don't you think? 39 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,359 So I propose, in order to vote, 40 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:47,359 every British citizen must take an IQ test. 41 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,119 What? 42 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,519 You can't say that! 43 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:51,879 Oh, she's brilliant. 44 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,599 I said you'd like it. 45 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:57,199 If you score above 70, you can vote. Simple as that. 46 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,479 Oh, she is outrageous. 47 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,199 70's quite low. It's not that bad. 48 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,399 Are you saying that some people are too stupid to vote? 49 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,599 No. That's what YOU say, 50 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:09,479 millions of you, at work, at home, in the pub, 51 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,279 you say, "Take away the vote." 52 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,079 You say it, Dan. All the time. 53 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:14,999 That was you and Brexit, nonstop. 54 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:19,560 You say things are too complicated and people are not clever enough. 55 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:29,519 And you said it, Steve. I heard you. You said it last week. 56 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,039 Oh, right. It's all my fault. 57 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,799 Some of us have work to do. Excuse me! I'm working! 58 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,919 But he's doing actual, physical work. 59 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:39,119 You want another cup of tea? No. 60 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:42,199 Like it or not, she's got a point. People are thick. 61 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,359 Hold on. Would you ban me? 62 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,199 Not if you passed the test. 63 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,479 Oh, my God! You'd ban me! 64 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,319 Edith, I don't get it. I thought you were the great anarchist. 65 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:54,879 Well, that's Vivienne Rook. She's ripping up democracy. I love it. 66 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,639 Hold on, though. This isn't real. This isn't legal. 67 00:02:57,640 --> 00:03:00,599 She's only one MP. She can't actually do it. 68 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:04,479 Hey, one more thing about next year, dad's birthday, his 70th. 69 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:05,839 So? 70 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,759 How is that relevant? 71 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,959 Oh, my God. Is he 70? 72 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:14,039 He's still living in Leicester, which isn't far. Just saying. 73 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:17,079 2026, let the people decide, 74 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,960 but only the clever ones. 75 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:28,119 The shock from the banking crisis continues, 76 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:31,879 with Moody's reducing the UK credit rating to A2. 77 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:35,399 Panic in the City as Kleiman Ajax has been declared bankrupt. 78 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,599 Consequences for the pharmaceutical industry will be enormous. 79 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:42,119 Can't get the drugs. Ordinary drugs, you can't get them. 80 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,879 Ruby takes Clobazam for her epilepsy. 81 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:47,559 The chemist says, "We're out of stock. Come back in six weeks." 82 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:51,639 The emergency election in France has seen a 30% swing to the right. 83 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,079 We were going to get Viktor into France. 84 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:55,559 Not any more. 85 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,920 Now they deport anyone without a visa. 86 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,879 In anticipation of the general election, 87 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,639 the government has employed 10,000 data sweepers 88 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,079 to monitor Russian interference. Hello. 89 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:14,519 Hi, there, Bethany. I'm Lucie. 90 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,200 I like your phone. 91 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,159 Link, radio off, call Viktor. 92 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,120 Calling Viktor. 93 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,360 Link, try again. 94 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,519 Link, send text to Viktor. 95 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:44,999 Hey, comma, get up, you lazy bastard, full stop. 96 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:49,560 Emoji kiss, emoji wink... emoji erect penis, send. 97 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,039 Link, try Viktor one more time. 98 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,520 Calling Viktor. 99 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,399 Viktor linked. 100 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:12,160 Listen, I was thinking I could come out to see you on the 1st and... 101 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:18,000 Viktor, is that you? 102 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,679 Vik, are you there? Hello? 103 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,399 Hello. 104 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,239 I said, hello. 105 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,479 Hello, can you hear me? 106 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:30,840 Ah. 107 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,560 I'm not... I don't... 108 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:49,359 I'm sorry, but I can't speak.. Erm... 109 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:51,200 You called, Skype here, yes? 110 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,439 Yes. Viktor Goraya. 111 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:57,319 You called Viktor Goraya, yes? 112 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,360 Daniel Lyons is you? 113 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,640 Yes. You know Viktor Goraya. 114 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,840 He's my friend... 115 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,319 and I'm calling him, which I'm allowed to do. 116 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,479 I haven't done anything wrong and neither has he. 117 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,080 Where is he? 118 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,119 It's you, huh? 119 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,760 Hello, sir. 120 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,759 Do you pay him, Englishman? No. 121 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,960 He's your bitch. 122 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:48,919 Shit. 123 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:51,759 I don't know but they were the police. 124 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:54,279 Well, it was a uniform. 125 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,639 Look, I've been out there. 126 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:57,839 They were proper policemen. 127 00:06:57,840 --> 00:06:59,360 I'm looking for Viktor. 128 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,360 Viktor Goraya. 129 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:04,920 Erm... 130 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,919 No, I won't be coming into work today. We need you. 131 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,359 No, I'm sorry, I just can't, sorry, no. 132 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:18,279 He passed his Rule 35 assessment IN the UK. 133 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,320 So who do I speak to? 134 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:31,519 My name is Daniel Lyons. I work for Manchester City Council. 135 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,679 I need some help... For God's sake! 136 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,839 Sorry, not you. 137 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,199 So the police said, "Give us his name," but if I do that 138 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:42,439 and they say, "Who are you?" and I say, "I'm his boyfriend," 139 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:43,999 what if they pass that on? 140 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,839 Cos that's like evidence, isn't it? So what do I do? 141 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:50,240 I mean, what do I do? I mean, really... what do I do? 142 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,359 PHONE RINGS Hello. 143 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,279 Hello! 144 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:01,479 It's me. I'm safe. I'm OK. 145 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,400 I'm sorry. Oh, my God! 146 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,559 Are you all right? Fine. 147 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,559 Where are you? I got away. 148 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,519 Are you all right? I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm with Roman. 149 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,719 I ran so fast I didn't have my phone, but I'm OK. 150 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:18,919 I promise. 151 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:21,679 Turns out he's in Odessa. 152 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:25,399 Literally had two minutes' warning. Ran before the police arrived, 153 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,199 left everything behind, got on a bus, 154 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,199 this clickety-clackety bus type thing, 155 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,439 no suspension, overland, nine hours later, 156 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,359 Odessa, thank you very much. 157 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,159 I don't even know where that is. 158 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:36,799 Is he safe though, is he OK? 159 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,079 He's got this mate, Roman, 160 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,319 he says Viktor can hide there for a bit, so... 161 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:44,159 I'm sorry. Thanks, sweetheart, thank you. 162 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,639 Hi, Lizzie. Hello. 163 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,079 Has he actually broken the law? 164 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:50,439 Well, no, technically. Technically, no. 165 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:53,919 But the Communist Party applied to make same-sex relationships illegal, 166 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,559 or you can't express homosexuality. 167 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,919 That's the phrase, you can't express it. 168 00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,759 They tried to do that back in 2016. 169 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:03,239 Now this is the Communist Party, this isn't a bunch of nutters, 170 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:07,079 this is the people's party and they applied again, in 2019, 171 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,519 and, this year, third time lucky, 172 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:13,240 so, yeah, any day now, he's a criminal. 173 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,399 Oh, I've got to go, mate, got to go. 174 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,199 Delivering a parcel to Whalley Range. Sorry. 175 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,799 So what are you going to do? 176 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,319 Well, we've got to get him out, we've got to get him into a country 177 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:27,759 that grants asylum but, to do that, he's got to cross the border. 178 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,639 You mean illegally? Yeah. 179 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,360 And how dangerous is that? 180 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:33,760 Very. 181 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:37,199 So we'll have to do it illegally. 182 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,999 God knows how, but I've got to get him over the border and out. 183 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,039 Oh, my God! That's amazing. 184 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,960 Give him my love! Good luck. 185 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:49,359 I'm sorry but I'm running out of ways to say, "Oh, my God." 186 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:52,079 Odessa's by the sea. I think it's a really nice place to live. 187 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,239 Do you think he sends Viktor money? Oh, I know he does. 188 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,119 Right, I'm late, I'm off. 189 00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,279 Bloody nerve, calling me in at half term. I bet it's trouble! 190 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:03,279 I was thinking, Lee's spending the day with his little mate, Craig. 191 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:04,479 I could take Lincoln out. 192 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,839 There's this Chinese ceramics thing on at the Whitworth, 193 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,959 then we could go see Toy Story Resurrection. 194 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,959 You know Woody gets burnt to death? 195 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,879 Don't go giving him nightmares. 196 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,199 Right, behave. 197 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,639 There's a good boy. 198 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,280 And you, metal head, bye-bye! 199 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,799 Bye. 200 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:26,039 What do you think? Nice little adventure with your auntie? 201 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:30,199 There. Gorgeous. OK, don't tell your mum and I'll give you ten quid. 202 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,639 Who's a beautiful girl? What do you want to be called? 203 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,719 Susie. - OK, Susie, off we go. 204 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:39,079 Whoa. Now we can have an adventure, you and me, 205 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,199 but it's a secret from everyone else. 206 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:45,199 So if I say the word "diamond", you say, "I want to go to the toilet." 207 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,159 Like, oh, what a pretty diamond. 208 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,279 I want to go to the toilet. 209 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:50,879 I'd love to have a diamond. 210 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,799 I want to go to the toilet. 211 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,839 Someone please buy me a diamond. 212 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,439 I want to go to the toilet. 213 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:57,999 I wish I had a diamond. 214 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,599 I want to go to the toilet. 215 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,759 Very, very, very good... 216 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,760 Susie. 217 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:12,359 Hello. 218 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:15,559 That's your bring your daughter to work activity pack. 219 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:17,559 Aren't you gorgeous? What's your name? 220 00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:18,599 Susie. 221 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,880 Welcome to Wytel, Susie. 222 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,960 So just pretend you're very, very sad. 223 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:36,999 Hello, I'm Holly. I'm in charge of the daughters' playgroup. 224 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,039 I've not seen you before, have I? 225 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,879 No, it's all this hot desking. 226 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,879 I normally, sort of, work over there. 227 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,799 This is Susie. She's a bit sad at the moment because her father, 228 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,679 you know, let's not get into it! The buffoon! 229 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,399 So be nice to her. 230 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:51,879 Oh, of course I will. 231 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,759 Now then, Susie, I've got some nice soft play. 232 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:58,760 Would you like to come and meet the others? 233 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,479 There now, Susie, 234 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,759 I must say, you look like a right little diamond! 235 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,799 I want to go to the toilet. 236 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,960 Oh, right then. Off we go. 237 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:28,160 Well done! Good girl! 238 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,399 Just like the old days. 239 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,079 This is the last time. See you next week. 240 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,559 You suit those ribbons. Can I keep them? 241 00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:40,399 I don't see why not. 242 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,319 I spent a week working for Harpoons 243 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:45,599 but, to be honest, I thought their standards weren't that high. 244 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,719 They were a bit imprecise, which is deadly in this job. 245 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,079 So I thought I'd go and work for Beckindole's, best careers in town. 246 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:53,799 I've got a clean driving licence, 247 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,319 so I can work the vans or the bikes, whatever you want. 248 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,519 Well, for a start, you're not couriers. 249 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,359 We call you lifestyle enhancers 250 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,719 because you make people's life feel better. Do you get it? 251 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:06,999 Yeah, works for me. Right, standard rules. 252 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,639 50 pence a parcel. 253 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,719 If any parcel takes longer than 60 minutes to deliver 254 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,039 you won't be paid. 255 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:16,079 No holiday, no sick pay, no argument. 256 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:20,319 You'll pay Beckindole £1.50 a day insurance if you're on the van, 257 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:21,559 £1 if you're on the bike, 258 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:25,399 and the £1 charge applies even on days off. 259 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,199 You're a bit overqualified, aren't you? 260 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,999 Oh, well, I suppose I've wasted my time a little bit. 261 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,919 Yeah, you're not the only one. I've got tons of you these days. 262 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,079 Neil, over there, went to Oxford. 263 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:36,479 Studied astrology. 264 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,679 Doesn't help him cycle any faster, does it? 265 00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:41,159 No, no, I don't suppose it does, astronomy. 266 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:42,999 But never mind. 267 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,159 So what did you do before? 268 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,479 Oh, banking. 269 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:48,999 Oh, those bastards. 270 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,039 I know, bastards. 271 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,599 Look what they've done to us. 272 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:57,640 I hated it, I'm glad to be out. 273 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,360 So what do I do, just pull the string? Mm-hm. 274 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:23,719 You... you can't let school kids have this. They'll be scarred! 275 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,520 We trust them with knives and forks. This is much the same. 276 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:32,159 Not too hot, not too cold. That's why they're calling it 277 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,999 Goldilocks Clean Meat, 278 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,319 completely artificial, 279 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,599 grown in a laboratory. 280 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,519 It's so far removed from the original animal, 281 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,079 they're saying it's fit for vegans. 282 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,199 Grown how? What does it look like? 283 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,319 They're called bolts, bolts of meat. 284 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,559 Like those things in kebabs shops, but enormous. 285 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,360 Well, I do love kebabs. 286 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:58,079 Damn. Injected with saltless salt. 287 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,240 Oh, my God! It's delicious. 288 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,159 That's bad news, that. 289 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:04,999 Mm, God, it's nice, isn't it? 290 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,439 Mm. 291 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,039 They haven't cracked salad yet. We still need staff for that. 292 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,559 I've done the sums. We need four. 293 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,999 Four people? Mm-hm, I think so. 294 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,959 Well, I've got a staff of ten, so who's going to go? 295 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,439 Beverley. Who else? 296 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,559 Rosie, I've got to lose £200,000. 297 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:23,679 It's the same every time. The banks collapse, 298 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,879 the government bails them out, so they take money off us. 299 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:30,159 I'm sorry, but six of the catering staff will have to go. 300 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,439 Including all managerial posts. 301 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,799 But that's me. You mean me? 302 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,439 The Goldilocks system doesn't need skills at your level. 303 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:38,599 I've got two kids. 304 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,839 We need to restructure. I can give you till Easter. 305 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,399 That's plenty of notice for you to have a look around 306 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,120 and try other avenues. 307 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,159 Here come the dinner ladies! All right, girls? 308 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:03,039 It's my big farewell, before I'm replaced by a bolt of vegan meat. 309 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:06,399 We've got food and booze and music and it didn't cost me a penny 310 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,639 cos it's my big, gay brother's birthday. 311 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,559 He's paying for the whole thing. 312 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,039 You'll like him, Eric! Whoo! 313 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,159 Come on, then. 314 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:18,999 Hey, lads. Hi, Stephen. Hey, how are you? All right? Thanks for coming. 315 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,119 This is really nice of you. Oh, well, it's my brother's idea. 316 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:26,199 Yeah, that's him, over there. Yeah, that's Dan, with the muscles. 317 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:29,119 Yeah, he's 37 today, so he said, "Let's have a blow out." 318 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,639 Oh, this is the long-suffering. 319 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,679 Celeste, this is Pete from work. 320 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,399 That doesn't help. You've got about five jobs. Which one? 321 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,719 The couriers, yeah! Best courier team in South Manchester. 322 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:43,559 That's Stan and Alif and Elaine and John. 323 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,519 He works harder than anyone, your husband. He puts us to shame. 324 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,799 Oh, I'm doing three jobs myself, but I bet he didn't mention that. 325 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,119 We need the money! I'm the man who lost a million quid, remember? 326 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,239 How can we forget? 327 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,640 We can try. 328 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,399 Oh, brilliant. That's great. 329 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,159 Oh, there's a perfect space at the back. I want you to play loud. 330 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:04,519 Oh, I can do loud. 331 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,599 We did Glastonbury and Ralph McTell complained. 332 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,479 We're OK, aren't we? 333 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,240 I mean this plan, it is going to work, isn't it? 334 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,959 I hope so. Fingers crossed, yeah. 335 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,360 Yeah, yeah, all right. 336 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,440 All right. 337 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,679 Oh, Lizzie, this is my Auntie Edith, 338 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:26,479 the one that works for those charities. 339 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:29,039 Lizzie did that research for you. On Wytel Industries? 340 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,399 Oh, yeah, thanks, Lizzie, it really helped, thank you. 341 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:32,959 It was for this fundraising thing. 342 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,799 They're going bust now, Wytel, did you hear? 343 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:39,119 There's some sort of big scandal. It was on the news this morning. 344 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,759 Oh, is that right? Erm, actually I forgot... 345 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,839 that thing. I'll see you later. 346 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,119 Oh, it's so good of you to come. 347 00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,719 I've driven past this house. I always wondered what it was like. 348 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,719 Come on, have a look. Viktor says hello and thank you. 349 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,319 The work you did with that petition was amazing. 350 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,319 Dan's going a bit nuts, isn't he? 351 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:57,879 Just a little bit. 352 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,439 His head's going to go Hong Sha if he doesn't calm down. 353 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:03,399 That's what they say now, Hong Sha, kaboom. 354 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,159 Do you remember when Hong Sha went off? We all said, 355 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,520 "Oh, the whole world has changed. 356 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,959 "Things will never be the same." 357 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,439 Hardly gets mentioned any more. 358 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:18,399 Well, except the consequences of that ruined my entire life. 359 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,119 I know, darling. 360 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:22,719 Eric, you need lots of pepper. 361 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,639 Coleslaw is all about the pepper. 362 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,199 You just brought us here to work. 363 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,639 Correct. Get on with it. 364 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,599 Gran, why does my signal keep cutting out? 365 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:35,199 Oh, go on to Signor Two! That works, for some reason. 366 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,239 Thank you. 367 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,279 So what's this new job of hers? 368 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:42,399 Charity stuff. She used to help them out in the field, and now she does 369 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,399 it in cities. She goes into boardrooms and asks them for money. 370 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,959 It just seems so calm for Edith. 371 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:52,879 She was always chaining herself to railings and burning things down. 372 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,840 I'm strangely disappointed. 373 00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:58,839 Lincoln likes those little ribbons. 374 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,439 It's not a problem, is it? 375 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,239 He looks very pretty. 376 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,879 Well, I doubt that Wytel knew what they were doing 377 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,039 but the leaked document spells it out. 378 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:11,799 Wytel supplied equipment to MBJM who sent it to Damascus, 379 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:15,279 where it was used to build Syria's concentration camps. 380 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,999 And to return to the headlines. 381 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,079 The Prime Minister has confirmed the date of the general election 382 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,839 as Thursday the 7th of May. 383 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,519 We asked MPs for their reaction. 384 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,999 I am delighted. 385 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,240 At last, let the fight begin. 386 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,199 Right, food's up. We have beef burgers, 387 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:38,199 hot dogs, proper sausages, veggie burgers, 388 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,359 and this is the latest thing, 389 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:42,159 it's orange burger, 390 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:43,720 made out of orange peel. 391 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,639 Those two, you don't think...? 392 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,199 Do you? I don't know. 393 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,879 No. I think Beth's just being 14. 394 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,199 She was never 14, she's just got a crush, that's all. 395 00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,919 However... 396 00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:02,599 Oh, my God, I thought so too. Do you know, I never know with Edith? 397 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:06,119 Trust me, she's tried everything, 398 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:07,960 all those years at sea. 399 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,479 I tried telling my mum. She doesn't understand. 400 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,399 I mean, she won't understand. 401 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,079 She refuses. 402 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,679 My mum and dad, they're like, haven't you grown out of that yet? 403 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,319 I said, "Mum, you should look online. 404 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:29,879 "You should see Richard Albright." 405 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,319 He's got a wafer in his head. 406 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,200 He can print his thoughts. 407 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,760 How far would you go, Beth, to be trans-human? 408 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,759 It's like, sometimes, 409 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,479 I think my lungs fill with up with air 410 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:49,239 and it goes in and out like some sort of bellows, and it feels so... 411 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,559 thick. 412 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,839 We could be so much better than this. We could be free. 413 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,519 We could be flying. 414 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,440 We should be wavelengths in the air. 415 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,639 How much money have you got? 416 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,199 Why? 417 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,439 Tell me how much. 418 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,359 My dad gave me 10,000 for my 18th. Even when we lost everything, 419 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:12,799 he said, "That's yours. Hold on to it!" 420 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,879 Cos I did it, Beth. 421 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,359 I contacted that woman. 422 00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:19,679 I spoke to her, I actually spoke to her and she said we'd be perfect. 423 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,199 Oh, my God. 424 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,680 You could pay for us both. 425 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:26,359 Would you do it? 426 00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:27,720 Would you? 427 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,879 Woo! 428 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,479 I want to see you all dancing. 429 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:41,959 Hey-hey. 430 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,359 ♪ Tonight Tonight's the wedding feast 431 00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:48,879 ♪ The men arriving with the slaughtered beast 432 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:52,399 ♪ A wail, a chant soon fills the air 433 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:56,719 ♪ For miles around the people cheer 434 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,879 ♪ Mama Thembu's getting married here tonight 435 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:03,559 ♪ All the spirits looking happy, red and bright 436 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:07,119 ♪ Mama Thembu's getting married here tonight 437 00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:11,199 ♪ The bones are thrown and Mama's path is shining bright 438 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:14,519 ♪ Ela gqirha laqgitha laqabela phaya 439 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:17,800 ♪ Ela gqirha laqgitha laqabela phaya... ♪ 440 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,759 Thank you. Thank you, isn't she amazing? 441 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,320 Miss Fran Baxter, everyone. 442 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,199 Er, OK, just a couple of things. 443 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:36,519 Happy birthday to me, obviously. 444 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:40,599 Don't start singing, not yet, hold on. I'm 25 today. 445 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,039 But first of all, I just want to say thank you 446 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:46,719 on behalf of someone who can't be here tonight, Viktor Goraya. 447 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:48,599 Oh, here we go. 448 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:52,719 So many of you, well, everyone, you've all been so kind. 449 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:54,959 He means you. I'm the best. 450 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,919 I know it has been months of worry and petitions, 451 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,359 you all wrote letters and things, you've all been amazing, 452 00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:02,720 but he was trapped in a country that denies his existence... 453 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,479 until Thursday night. 454 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,639 Er, because Thursday night Viktor left Odessa 455 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,079 and he went to Ternopil. 456 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:13,919 At midnight, he got into a lorry and 457 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,920 they crossed the border at Krakovets, successfully. 458 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,639 Got into Poland, ten hours, down through Germany, 459 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,119 still too dangerous, stopped near Stuttgart 460 00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:27,879 and they got from that lorry into another lorry. 461 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,279 Thanks, Siobhan. 462 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,400 From there, through France. 463 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,399 I know, I know, I know. 464 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,720 Onwards, down to Spain. 465 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,599 Thank you. He crossed the border 466 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,040 and he did it, he got there. 467 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:49,959 And that was today. 468 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,039 And he's surrendered himself to the Spanish authorities 469 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:56,439 and they arrested him, but that was the plan. 470 00:23:56,440 --> 00:24:01,399 Socialist Spain, they arrested him, he applies for asylum, 471 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,079 they won't deport him. 472 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,719 What I'm saying is, well, he did it. 473 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,880 He's safe. He's there! 474 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:15,719 I know this for a fact because, because, because... 475 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,640 Here he is! 476 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,640 Mama Tembu's Wedding by Margaret Singana 477 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,240 All right, thanks. 478 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:10,040 My name is Daniel Lyons and I have booked the conjugal suite. 479 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,919 Mi nombre es Daniel Lyons. 480 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,759 Ha reservado la suite conyugal. 481 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:17,680 First door on the right. 482 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,000 Thanks. 483 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:33,959 There you are. 484 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,760 Hey. 485 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,120 Look at this room. 486 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:54,279 God. Hello. 487 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,400 Hi. 488 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,199 So what they've done now is this. 489 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,559 Beckindole won't let me drive across Manchester 490 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,119 because of the congestion charge, 491 00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:15,559 so I have to pick things up from the depot on my bike, 492 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:18,639 large or small, doesn't matter, I have to carry them on my bike 493 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:22,519 out of the congestion zone to a designated Beckindole car park 494 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,319 full of Beckindole vans. 495 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:27,639 I'm not allowed to use my own van, even if I had one, 496 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:32,279 in case I build my own business in my spare time, 497 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:35,799 so I can only use Beckindole vans, and I'm allocated one 498 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:39,719 and I go to deliver my parcel, leave my bike, God knows where, 499 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,319 because I'm not allowed to put it in the van. 500 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:46,439 £7.60 an hour, except I only get £3.90 because I'm new, 501 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,559 so I'm classified as an apprentice. 502 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:50,679 So what are the five jobs? 503 00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,199 Celeste said you had five. 504 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,880 Don't use her name. Not here! That's not fair. 505 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:04,279 Delivery, courier, hospitality, pizza, and... 506 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:07,760 Er, drug tests! I'm a guinea pig. 507 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,559 The gig economy, that's me. 508 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:15,639 And what does she do? 509 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,800 Book-keeping. 510 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,839 She used to have a staff of 25, 511 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,399 now she does the budgets for local primary schools. 512 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,119 She never complains. 513 00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:28,479 That pisses me off. 514 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:33,159 I wish she would complain but, no, I get this monument. 515 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,679 But that house is enormous. 516 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:38,199 Your gran's. You could sell it, have 100,000 each! 517 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:39,999 You could all sail through the recession. 518 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,559 Houses don't shift these days. No-one's got any money to spend. 519 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,279 You could try. 520 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,319 The man who lost a million quid. 521 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,919 I lost 20,000, which might be nothing to you, 522 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,239 but it's left me stuck in this place. 523 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,759 Know when you're lucky, Steve. 524 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,399 Did you register this address for the election? 525 00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,199 I never got round to it. 526 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:01,719 But now you can't vote. 527 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:03,680 What's it matter? 528 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,799 Missed call. 529 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,239 It's the wife. 530 00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:11,600 Stop it. 531 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,839 Where's 0116? 532 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,480 Leicester, I think. 533 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:29,279 Hello, Signor. 534 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:33,159 Family link override, not Muriel, not Celeste. 535 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:34,719 Thanks. Call. 536 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,159 Family link, Stephen calling. 537 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:40,440 OK. Hello. Funny time of day. 538 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:46,759 Hey, can it wait? I'm a little bit busy. Is it important? 539 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:50,079 Hola, esta nueva Danielo en Madrido. 540 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:53,559 Hasta la vista, paella, si, si, si. 541 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:57,280 Er, OK, so I didn't want to wait, so... 542 00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,919 are the kids there, Rosie? 543 00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:01,559 Er, no, why, what is it? 544 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:05,199 Er, so I got a call, and erm... 545 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:06,760 Dad's dead. 546 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:09,640 No way. 547 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:12,679 Are you kidding? 548 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:14,119 No, seriously, it's for real. 549 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:17,359 No, I made it up, I thought it would be funny. 550 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,199 No, he's dead. 551 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:20,520 He's gone. 552 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,239 Two days, she said, he's gone. 553 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,399 Who did, Jacqueline? 554 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,719 Yeah, yeah, she phoned me. 555 00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:31,160 Oh, my God, he was only 69. 556 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,199 He never made it to his birthday. 557 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,239 So what happened? 558 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:38,759 He was hit by a bike. 559 00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:40,719 Sorry! 560 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:45,799 I mean, a bicycle. She said he was hit by a Rideree bike. 561 00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:47,479 A bike? 562 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:48,999 Killed him? 563 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,879 Stephen, are you kidding us? 564 00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:52,359 No, the bike didn't kill him. 565 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,039 The bike knocked him over 566 00:30:55,040 --> 00:31:00,159 and he had a scratch on his hand, er, that was all. 567 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,199 This is what Jacqueline said. 568 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:05,079 Erm, he was fine, he had a scratch, 569 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:08,439 but that turned into blood poisoning. 570 00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:11,039 Oh, my God. Sepsis. 571 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:12,200 Yeah. 572 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:18,680 And they tried all the antibiotics, but they didn't work any more, so... 573 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:21,920 A scratch on his hand. 574 00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:25,639 He was hit by a bike? 575 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:27,519 So they took him to hospital, 576 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,839 one o'clock this afternoon... 577 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,360 organ failure, and gone. 578 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:37,359 What was he delivering, the bike? Oh, Rosie, don't. 579 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:38,759 I want to know. 580 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:43,319 Actually I'd like to know. I mean, was he killed by a chicken vindaloo? 581 00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,079 You know what? You lot are horrible. 582 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,559 No, he was horrible, Danny. He was. 583 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,079 Oh, for God's sake. 584 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,239 He slept with someone else and left us - 585 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:53,279 is it really the worst crime in the world? 586 00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:56,239 Yeah, and then he had a whole second family with Jacqueline, 587 00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:57,759 and did he ever bother with us? 588 00:31:57,760 --> 00:31:59,359 And that's why, Rosie, 589 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,679 because that's how you spoke to him every time. 590 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,839 You can't hate someone and expect him to want to visit, can you? 591 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,999 Oh, nice one, Danny. Now you love him, now he's dead. 592 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,320 Cut the link. 593 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:12,680 That was a bit hard, Dan. 594 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:15,480 What a mess. 595 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,759 Hey, I'm sorry. 596 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:20,160 Yeah, me too. 597 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:24,600 And me. 598 00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:30,120 You OK? 599 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:33,080 No. 600 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:08,159 I'm right though, because look at it from my point of view. 601 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:11,599 Mum and Dad had Stephen, fine, they had you, fine, 602 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:14,759 they had Daniel, they had a great, big, gay baby 603 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,119 and they were still fine, 604 00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,119 then they had me and Dad buggered off. 605 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,079 If that's not my fault then what is? 606 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,159 But it's not your fault. 607 00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:25,999 I don't mean fault, I just mean there I was and off he went. 608 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:27,679 Maybe it was just bad timing. 609 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,759 That's when he met Jacqueline, just happened to be then. 610 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,799 Jacqueline, I'll never forget that - 611 00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,680 "Don't call me Jackie, my name is Jacqueline." 612 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:42,159 Which proves my point, cos he wasn't a wanderer. 613 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,639 He stayed with Jacqueline, they had a son and everything. 614 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:48,920 He was faithful, so the only time he wasn't was when I came along. 615 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:52,680 It's because he couldn't cope. 616 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:56,479 I don't know, maybe. 617 00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:57,959 Definitely. 618 00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:59,640 Just too much of a coward. 619 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:04,119 I just wish I'd asked him, 620 00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:06,279 but I never had anything to say to him really. 621 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:10,439 Whenever I saw him, I'd just sit there and think, 622 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:11,800 "What shall I say?" 623 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:15,119 I had a lot to say. 624 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:16,480 Too late now. 625 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:20,519 His loss. 626 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:22,479 Oh, that's the truth. 627 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:25,520 I always say, Rosie, shame on him. 628 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,080 Shame on our father's head. 629 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:31,360 Shame. 630 00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:34,359 As the polls open, it's being called 631 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,239 the most unpredictable general election in living memory. 632 00:34:37,240 --> 00:34:40,039 Tensions are high, with the major parties keeping an eye 633 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:42,400 on the Four Star Party's wild card vote. 634 00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,079 I think I might be a little bit tipsy! 635 00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:49,159 I haven't even voted yet, I'll be squiffy, 636 00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:51,799 I'll probably tick the wrong box! 637 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:56,039 Vivienne Rook has refused to appear on any terrestrial channel. 638 00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:58,919 She's turned down every interview and every debate, 639 00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:02,279 restricting herself to her own channel, Four Star Live. 640 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:06,239 But Viv, campaigning isn't allowed on election day. 641 00:35:06,240 --> 00:35:08,919 This isn't a campaign, this is my channel, 642 00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,000 this is my home. 643 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,999 This is British wine for British people, 644 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:23,600 and what it deserves is tax breaks and subsidised transport. 645 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:26,839 But where will the money come from, Viv? 646 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:28,319 You can't raise taxes. 647 00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,519 I'll impose a tariff on wines from abroad. 648 00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:32,880 Let them pay. 649 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,599 He didn't die for nothing. 650 00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:39,119 He died for us. 651 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:43,199 Shame on every politician who has ever let our soldiers down. 652 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:44,679 ♪ Tragedy 653 00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:46,799 ♪ When the feeling's gone and you can't go on 654 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:48,399 ♪ It's tragedy 655 00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,799 ♪ When the morning cries and you don't know why 656 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:52,559 ♪ It's hard to bear 657 00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:54,639 ♪ With no-one to love you 658 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:56,720 ♪ You're going nowhere 659 00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:00,119 ♪ Tragedy 660 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,199 ♪ When you lose control and you got no soul 661 00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:03,839 ♪ It's tragedy 662 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,279 ♪ When the morning cries and your heart just dies 663 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:07,679 ♪ It's hard to bear 664 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:09,799 ♪ With no-one beside you 665 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:11,800 ♪ You're going nowhere. ♪ 666 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,039 False facts, every day. 667 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:25,959 Do you know where you can find the truth? 668 00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,559 Right here, Four Star Channel. 669 00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:31,960 God help us. We're the only ones. 670 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:35,999 Are you done? 671 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,159 You left-wing hippie. 672 00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:38,799 This is nice, like the old days 673 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:41,279 It's 100 quid if I get it back before midnight. 674 00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,439 I love it, us lot in one car. 675 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,239 We never do this. Should have bought sweets. 676 00:36:46,240 --> 00:36:47,479 Leicester, here we come. 677 00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:49,280 I'm just making sure he's dead. 678 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:54,679 Now you did vote, you two? 679 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:56,239 Did it by post, last week. 680 00:36:56,240 --> 00:36:57,959 No-one goes and does it by hand any more. 681 00:36:57,960 --> 00:36:59,519 Don't forget your passports. 682 00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,079 They're going to Scotland! 683 00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,039 Anything could happen in this election. 684 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:04,759 If your lot get into power, 685 00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,239 Scotland could be divorced by midnight. 686 00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:09,039 Then they'll be stranded. 687 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:11,439 Go, have a lovely time. 688 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,599 Celebrate. It's your grandad's funeral. 689 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:16,559 This is a very fine day. 690 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,159 Don't listen to her. 691 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:20,159 Go and have fun. 692 00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:22,599 Edinburgh is beautiful. 693 00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,000 Bye, then. See you next week. 694 00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,759 Bye, darling. 695 00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,959 Oh, my God. They believed us. 696 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,399 They'll understand. When they see in ten days' time 697 00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:37,480 they'll be like, "Oh, my God, that is infinite!" 698 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:44,439 Destination Liverpool, Imperial B&B, Shiel Road, L6. 699 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:45,719 Auto drive on. 700 00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:47,520 Thank you. You're welcome. 701 00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:50,600 Bye! 702 00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:12,839 Hey, there. 703 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,159 Hello. 704 00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:15,559 Thanks for coming. 705 00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:18,119 Stephen. Steven. 706 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,039 Killed by a bike. 707 00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,440 Shocking. 708 00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:24,639 Poor old Dad. 709 00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:28,559 Come for a drink after. You're very welcome, all of you. 710 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:31,200 I saw you on the TV with the bomb. 711 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,559 I'll see you later. Stephen. 712 00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:36,600 Steven. 713 00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:45,239 I still maintain it's not legal to call two sons the same name. 714 00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:46,799 He's Steven with a V. 715 00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,319 Jacqueline chose Steven with a V after her dad. 716 00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:50,679 You know that. 717 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,080 Jacqueline. 718 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:54,959 Doesn't feel like a brother. 719 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:56,720 Half brother, if that. 720 00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,319 What does he do these days? 721 00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:01,279 He's a pharmacist. 722 00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:02,839 With a V. 723 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:05,160 He's a varmacist! 724 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:11,080 Oh, my God. This isn't the crematorium. 725 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:16,159 What do you mean? - This place isn't a crematorium, it's an aquatorium. 726 00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:20,040 They don't burn him, he gets dissolved. 727 00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:32,879 Bethany Bisme- Thank you. 728 00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,479 Lizzie Mbeko. Thank you. 729 00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:36,839 If you'd like to get on board 730 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,080 we'll take you across as soon as you are ready. 731 00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:26,319 It's called alkaline hydrolysis, better for the environment. 732 00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:29,279 We were always green, this side of the family. 733 00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,319 Uncle Ted was buried in wicker, on a slope. 734 00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,879 So what do they do? 735 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:37,679 Put the body in a big tube, fill it with water, 736 00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:40,279 heat it up. They boil him? 737 00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:41,799 My God. 738 00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,600 Boil in the bag, like sous vide. 739 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,239 Is it worse than burning? 740 00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:52,079 I mean it is, I know, but why? 741 00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:53,400 The eyes. 742 00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:01,080 You dissolve, then you get rinsed. 743 00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:05,199 Then they pour you out into a tub, 744 00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:08,079 you get flushed down the drain, 745 00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:09,479 out to sea - 746 00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,040 the end. 747 00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:21,159 The Glenside facility offers alkaline hydrolysis, 748 00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:24,439 the modern alternative to burial or cremation. 749 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:27,480 The remains of your loved one are broken down into liquid... 750 00:41:38,240 --> 00:41:40,400 Goodbye, Vince. 751 00:41:46,720 --> 00:41:49,039 I tell you what, Jacqueline is true to form. 752 00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:50,639 No money behind the bar. 753 00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:52,159 Any news from the polls? 754 00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,959 They're not allowed to say until ten o'clock. Low turnout though. 755 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,359 See, it's like Viv Rook says, people are too thick. 756 00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:01,479 So Steven with a V just told me Dad didn't just work 757 00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:05,559 for that security firm - when he was 55 he put some money in 758 00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:07,959 like 2,000 quid, like shares. 759 00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:09,959 Three years ago, they sold the company, 760 00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:14,399 he got a pay-out, £75,000. 761 00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:15,999 We get none of that. 762 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,479 Nothing. 763 00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:19,119 Here's to Vince. 764 00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:20,959 Yeah, Dad. 765 00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:22,839 To Dad. 766 00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:26,479 Hi, you lot. Famalam. Stephen. 767 00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:29,199 Steven. We were just toasting him. 768 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:31,599 It's a nice little motor out front, Stephen. 769 00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:33,599 Yeah, it is, Steven, yeah, I like it. 770 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,959 2.2 litre. Yeah. 771 00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:38,479 Well, you always were very smart. 772 00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:42,759 Now, you've all got one of these. 773 00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:45,400 It's just something to remember him by. 774 00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:52,160 We should meet up some time. Go for dinner. That would be nice. 775 00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,759 Hey, you were amazing with that bomb, Edith. 776 00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:58,999 Are you all right now? 777 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,919 Not really, no, I'm poisoned. 778 00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:06,400 Oh, well, that is a thing, isn't it? 779 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:11,759 Well, see you in a bit, Stephen. 780 00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,120 Steven. 781 00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,399 Oh, my God. 782 00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:22,119 Daddy. That is weird. 783 00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,679 Isn't that weird? Is that all that's left? 784 00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:26,599 He looks like tea. 785 00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:29,719 Weak tea. Is that all we are in the end, tea? 786 00:43:29,720 --> 00:43:31,919 Just like scattering the ashes, I suppose. 787 00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:34,399 Can't do this with ashes. 788 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:35,879 Cheers. Edith! 789 00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:37,039 You can't do that! 790 00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:40,039 It's acid! It's alkaline. 791 00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:41,159 What's he taste like? 792 00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:42,959 Soap. Soap. 793 00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:44,879 Like antiseptic gel. 794 00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:47,199 I can't believe you just did that! 795 00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:48,719 It's my DNA. 796 00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:50,839 We are as one. 797 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,000 Cheers, Jackie. 798 00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:58,359 Why didn't you come home for Mum's funeral? 799 00:43:58,360 --> 00:43:59,839 Don't do that. 800 00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:01,240 Why not? 801 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:05,999 I was stuck in Canada. 802 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,640 Could have come home. 803 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:10,639 I didn't want to. 804 00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:12,240 Why not? 805 00:44:13,720 --> 00:44:15,760 Because it was her funeral. 806 00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:26,119 I keep wondering whether she'd be proud of me. 807 00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:28,040 Of course she would. 808 00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,479 No job, another kid without his dad, 809 00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:33,120 I don't know if she would. 810 00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,599 She was tough, Edith. 811 00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:40,039 She wasn't just nice, she was tough. 812 00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:44,159 And I wonder if she'd think I was mad, with Viktor. 813 00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:46,759 I think she'd be ashamed, some of the things I've done. 814 00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:48,959 You could never do anything wrong. 815 00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:50,480 Oh, trust me. 816 00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,319 She'd kill me. 817 00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:56,520 If she knew, she'd kill me. 818 00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:05,839 All that stuff they say about them looking down on you... 819 00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:06,920 I hope they don't. 820 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,239 Phone call, Bethany Bisme-Lyons. 821 00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:36,559 Oh, Signor, open on link. Link open. 822 00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:39,039 Hello, darling, how is it? 823 00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:40,559 Hoots, mon! 824 00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:43,199 SOBBING Bethany? 825 00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:44,360 Can you hear me? 826 00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:47,360 Beth, are you all right? 827 00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:51,119 Can you help me, please? 828 00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:53,919 What is it, sweetheart? What's wrong? 829 00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:56,479 I'm here, what is it? I'm sorry. 830 00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:58,159 Are you all right? 831 00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:00,239 Are you hurt? 832 00:46:00,240 --> 00:46:03,839 Whatever it is, I will fix it, I promise you. 833 00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:05,720 Now, tell me. 834 00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:09,919 She's in Liverpool, not Scotland. She's in bloody Liverpool. 835 00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,839 What for? What's she done? 836 00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:14,999 She won't say, God knows. 837 00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:16,639 I'll call Stephen. 838 00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:18,799 No. 839 00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:20,360 Please. 840 00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,799 Muriel, don't. - She called me. 841 00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:25,000 Go. 842 00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:38,359 Just tell me what's happened. 843 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:40,199 I can't. Why not? 844 00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:41,559 You'll hate me. 845 00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:43,439 I could never hate you. 846 00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:44,480 Never. 847 00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:04,000 Oh... 848 00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:09,119 They won't tell me. 849 00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:10,639 All I've heard is crying. 850 00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,399 I did try, I said, "Let me in," but they wouldn't. 851 00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:16,159 What are you doing in Liverpool? Why did you lie? 852 00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:17,919 It's the only place they do it. Do what? 853 00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:19,519 The operation. 854 00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:20,720 What operation? 855 00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:27,759 It's only my mum. 856 00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:28,959 You promised me. 857 00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:30,479 It's OK. 858 00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:32,119 I'm here now. 859 00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:33,880 You have nothing to worry about. 860 00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:38,959 So what happened to your eye? 861 00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:40,440 Lizzie? 862 00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:43,279 Can you tell me? 863 00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:44,999 It's gone wrong, but we can fix it. 864 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:46,880 We just need to find them. 865 00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:49,360 Let me see. 866 00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:52,120 Let me see your eye. 867 00:47:57,600 --> 00:47:59,239 OK. 868 00:47:59,240 --> 00:48:01,079 Well, that's not too bad. 869 00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:02,519 Hello, Lizzie. 870 00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:04,319 Hello. 871 00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,359 So what have you had done, hm? 872 00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:07,920 You daft things. 873 00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:12,839 You haven't had a face-lift, have you, at your age? 874 00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:15,479 It's OK but there is a lot of swelling, 875 00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:16,800 but that will calm down. 876 00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:20,679 What? 877 00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:22,279 I can't control it. 878 00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:23,759 What are you doing? 879 00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:25,159 It won't stay still. 880 00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:27,079 Lizzie, stop it, what are you doing? 881 00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:28,639 I can't see. 882 00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:30,640 What is that? 883 00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:34,439 What have you done? 884 00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:36,639 It's a camera. What? 885 00:48:36,640 --> 00:48:40,399 They promised us, they said we could see, digital vision. 886 00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:42,959 But, but that's not her eye. 887 00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:44,839 What's happened to her eye? Where is it? 888 00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:46,639 They took it out. Who did? 889 00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:48,959 The people on the boat. What boat? 890 00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:53,359 They said to me, "You're next," but I couldn't, I was too scared. 891 00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:55,079 I can't see with this eye. 892 00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:56,359 It's supposed to integrate, 893 00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:58,679 I'm supposed to see the output in my head, but I can't. 894 00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:00,560 My eyesight's over there. 895 00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:05,000 Oh! 896 00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:09,519 Oh! 897 00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:11,199 Your mother's on the way. 898 00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:12,679 God, help. 899 00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:14,119 It's been going on for decades, 900 00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:17,759 cruise ships arrive at the docks specially adapted as hospitals, 901 00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,399 run by Russians, Slovakians, Romanians, 902 00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:23,239 and people go on board for cheap operations. 903 00:49:23,240 --> 00:49:26,959 It was face-lifts in the '90s, gender reassignment in the 2000s, 904 00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:30,039 and now they've discovered transhumans. 905 00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:31,479 But they're breaking the law. 906 00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:35,119 This lot are. They're butchers. But you try finding them. 907 00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:36,479 It's a great big ship. 908 00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:39,439 I mean, try finding the owners, try suing them. 909 00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:42,119 There's a chain of ownership bouncing round and round the world 910 00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:44,839 until you end up with no-one and the ship sails on. 911 00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:47,719 And her eye, her real eye? 912 00:49:47,720 --> 00:49:50,080 Gone, junked. 913 00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:55,239 If you had 500,000, they say there are grafts now to integrate 914 00:49:55,240 --> 00:49:57,079 the lens with the optical nerve, 915 00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:00,000 but not for kids like that in Liverpool. 916 00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:04,159 Somewhere there's a golden world where these things are possible, 917 00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:05,440 but it's never here, is it? 918 00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:09,439 Call Stephen. 919 00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:10,920 Calling Stephen Lyons. 920 00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:55,960 See you later, Fran! 921 00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:05,360 See you tonight, yeah? Yeah. 922 00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:09,720 Stephen Lyons not answering. 923 00:51:17,240 --> 00:51:18,960 Did you tell him? 924 00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:24,560 You gave away £10,000 and your dad works every hour! 925 00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:33,199 Oh, to hell with it. He can wait. 926 00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:35,319 Thank God you were scared, 927 00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:37,719 it saved you, Beth. 928 00:51:37,720 --> 00:51:39,000 It saved you. 929 00:51:57,040 --> 00:51:58,879 It's gone ten. 930 00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:02,599 If the exit polls are correct, this is an extraordinary result. 931 00:52:02,600 --> 00:52:06,199 We're seeing 288 seats for the Conservatives, 932 00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:08,119 287 seats for Labour 933 00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:12,159 and an astonishing 15 seats for Vivienne Rook's Four Star Party. 934 00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:15,879 That's 15 seats, leaving the balance of power in the United Kingdom 935 00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:18,480 firmly in the hands of Vivienne Rook. 936 00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:25,199 I will not... I will not form a pact with the Tories, 937 00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:28,279 I will not form a pact with Labour. 938 00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:32,559 Instead, for every vote in the House of Commons, 939 00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:34,440 they can come to me. Yeah! 940 00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:41,160 They can come to me and I will decide. 941 00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:53,039 Happy now, Rosie? 942 00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:54,599 Yeah. 943 00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:56,280 Hm. 944 00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:59,040 New world. 945 00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:08,160 Sorry! 946 00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:49,200 What are you doing? 947 00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:22,519 Hey, what are you doing? 948 00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:24,040 That's my bike! 949 00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:06,239 There she is, there she is! 950 00:55:06,240 --> 00:55:09,320 We need to get Viktor out. He could be executed. 951 00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:33,840 Astonishing! Astonishing!