1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,079 It's been called the most unpredictable 2 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:05,559 general election in living memory. 3 00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:08,519 Let the people decide, but only the clever ones. 4 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:10,839 You know Viktor Goraya. - We've got to get them out. 5 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:12,919 We've got to get him into a country that grants asylum. 6 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:15,439 But to do that, he's got to cross the border. 7 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:16,639 You mean illegally? 8 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:19,399 We need the money. I'm the man who lost a million quid, remember? 9 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:22,439 What are the five jobs? Celeste said you had five. 10 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,239 Don't use her name, not here. 11 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:26,119 This is an extraordinary result. 12 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:29,319 They can come to me, 13 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,960 and I will decide. 14 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:36,760 This programme contains some strong language. 15 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,639 Happy New Year! 16 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,119 Has everyone got a glass? 17 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,679 Bethany, you do the honours. 18 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:58,800 Signor, "sync devices." 19 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:03,839 Happy New Year! 20 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:05,839 No more than that. Hush now. 21 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:10,079 It is my honour to say congratulations, 22 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,839 a very happy engagement to you both. 23 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,439 Yeah, second time lucky, Dan. 24 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,719 Sorry, everyone. Happy new Year. 25 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:19,399 You wouldn't believe how busy the roads are. 26 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,759 Hey, congratulations. 27 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,599 I can't believe you had to work. 28 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,199 Double pay. So, how are you? Is that the new flat? 29 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,759 How is it? 30 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:30,519 It's not a flat, it's a room in a house with 16 people. 31 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,999 Yeah, but it's in one of those tall back streets in the centre 32 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,919 of Madrid, so... I mean, it's handy. 33 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,599 They are OK. They're mostly Somalis. 34 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:39,999 The detention centres were full, so they pushed us out, 35 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,679 but, you know, it's better, I think. 36 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:44,159 And are they all right 37 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,399 with two men getting married, Somalis? 38 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,279 Well, if you think about it, Muriel, Somalia's a Muslim country, 39 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,439 so obviously that's tricky. 40 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,559 That was my point, wasn't it? 41 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,399 Well, now I've told you, so... 42 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,679 And it's greatly appreciated. 43 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:00,159 All right, you two - ding-ding. Just pointing out a fact. 44 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,399 Which I have absorbed, thank you. See what it's like? 45 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:04,199 I go to work to get out of the house. 46 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,399 The thing is, you lot, 47 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,879 I've got a sort of announcement to make. 48 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,999 They are never going to let Viktor back in the UK, 49 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,519 so we thought, when he gets his residency here, 50 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,439 well, it's obvious, really, I'll have to move out 51 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,039 and become a Spanish citizen. 52 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,279 Yes! 53 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,439 I thought so. I said so. 54 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:22,879 That's brilliant, good move. 55 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:26,239 Yeah, but it takes about ten years for the whole process to happen. 56 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,999 That's ages, though. I'll be 25. 57 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,399 Trust me, it flies past. It'll be here before know it. 58 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:33,639 Will you still be alive? 59 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:35,839 Bethany! You can't say that. 60 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,799 What kind of question is that? 61 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,759 But you had that radiation. 62 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,439 It's a very good question. 63 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:43,959 I promise I will cling on for dear life to get a free drink 64 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,639 out of my brother. Good luck to all of us. 65 00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:49,919 And here's to you beautiful Spaniards. 66 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,359 Yeah. Danny and Vic. 67 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:52,919 Danny and Vic! 68 00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:55,439 To us. To us. 69 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:59,839 It's on the Costa Brava, this little town. 70 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,759 And just outside, they've printed this village. 71 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:08,239 This complete village - houses, squares - all 3D printed 72 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,519 on these clifftops, overlooking the sea. 73 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,199 That's my job, housing. 74 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,759 I could do that. 75 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:19,279 I could print whole towns, whole cities, right here in Spain. 76 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,079 Costa del Danny. 77 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:23,400 I never call you Danny. 78 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:27,559 I quite like it now. 79 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,839 I hated it when I was a kid, but... 80 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:31,080 Danny. 81 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,199 Vicky! 82 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,039 That's no good! 83 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:38,959 No. - Uh-uh? Uh-uh? 84 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,239 Hola. 85 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,440 Buenos tardes, Vicky. 86 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,680 Sounds like a party. 87 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,879 Spain's calling it the January Revolution, 88 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:12,599 as the so-called People's Party, Nueva Esperanza, declares itself 89 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,199 the new government. 90 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:18,199 Link TV, news channels, now! 91 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,999 The situation in Spain means a left-wing government 92 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,239 is being replaced by a far-left government. 93 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,039 What can we do about Spain? 94 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,159 Well, I'm stuck in the middle of a hung parliament. 95 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,919 There's nothing I can do. 96 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:33,039 They're saying Nueva Esperanza has a policy of repatriation. 97 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,879 Anyone without citizenship is sent home. 98 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:37,479 I thought they were left-wing. 99 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,679 You've got far-right, you've got far-left - 100 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,199 eventually you meet in the middle. 101 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,559 They won't let you into France. Where else can you go? 102 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,439 Outbreaks of violence in Athens as the country withdraws 103 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,199 from the eurozone, and the Grexit begins. 104 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:53,919 Martial law has been declared as the government of Italy resigns. 105 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,560 Hungary has been declared bankrupt. 106 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,840 The whole world is on fire. 107 00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,079 How long have you got? 108 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,520 About an hour. 109 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,199 The United Nations has threatened to remove its headquarters 110 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,759 from American soil. 111 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,159 After the suspension of same-sex marriage, 112 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:18,240 the Supreme Court has overturned Roe versus Wade. 113 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,600 There she is! No justice! 114 00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:29,440 Go back, go back! Right, rewind. There she is. Oh, my God! 115 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,399 I've been banned from America, banned for life. 116 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,399 And the government does nothing. Exactly, that's what I keep saying. 117 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,999 Ask the Home Office about Spain, they haven't got a policy. 118 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,759 Nothing. It's been eight weeks now. 119 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,399 Don't start with this again. Did you see today - 120 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,639 they are not calling it a hung parliament any more. 121 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,439 They're calling it the Parliament of Water. 122 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,759 Just flows through your fingers - gone! 123 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,279 It's our fault - we voted them in. Well, that's helpful. 124 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:52,879 Yeah, but it's true, you know? 125 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,999 It just proves that democracy was a very nice idea for a while, 126 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,759 and now it's worn out. 127 00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:59,679 Well, there's always Vivienne Rook. 128 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,519 No, stop it. Viv could smash the system. 129 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,679 Tell you what's weird, though, do you remember years ago, 130 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,879 we used to think the news was boring? 131 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,479 Oh, my God, golden days. 132 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:10,319 The news would come on and we'd just yawn. 133 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,479 Now we hide. I have to hide my eyes, literally. 134 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,279 It's like at school, when they tell you about the olden days, 135 00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:19,239 with Sun Kings and plays and people electing pigs. 136 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,399 It's coming back, it's happening again. 137 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,519 We were lucky for a bit, born in the '80s. 138 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:27,519 We had, like, 30 years, the first 30 years of our lives. 139 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:31,439 Couple of wars. Yeah, all right, but you and me, we had a nice time. 140 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,719 Basically, we had a really nice time. 141 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,600 Turns out we were born in a pause. 142 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,719 Oh, you see, somebody heard me relaxing. 143 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:42,399 Duty calls. I'm off. 144 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,079 See you Friday, yeah? 145 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,079 How many jobs have you got now? 146 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,720 11. 147 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,999 Here, I'll give you the hack thing. 148 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,480 See you. Bye. 149 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,919 OK, so take this. They are the new ones. 150 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:58,039 They've got Mo Farah on. 151 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,519 I don't need this, thank you very much. It's only Chinese. 152 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,479 Take it, though. Save your money for the kids. 153 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,479 You get paid tuppence at Glover's. Well, I might not be there for long. 154 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,959 Why, what are you doing? You've been away. 155 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,520 I've got plans. 156 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:19,159 There she is - the beast. It cost £20,000. 157 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,719 If you bought that from scratch, it'd be 50,000, 60, more. 158 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,599 I've checked, and that's a really genuinely knock-down price. 159 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:27,919 Yeah, how come? 160 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,319 It's owned by Jonjo's brother and he's gone to jail, 161 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,559 and now they need to sell it to raise cash for his kids. 162 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,479 Went to jail for what? 163 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,639 Well, he was selling fish and chips out of this side, 164 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:39,039 and drugs out of that side, if you must know. 165 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,599 Oh, it's a drug dealer's van. 166 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,319 It's a bargain. 167 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,559 I've done a business plan, which they approved. 168 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:45,839 They liked it. 169 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,079 And you can have a look. I'm not daft. 170 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,919 I know are risks, and there are costs way beyond the van. 171 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,999 We'll have to get it all kitted out for me, 172 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,039 and I'll need kitchen space for prep and storage, 173 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,759 but Jonjo says I can have his brother's for half price. 174 00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,719 How much, then, in total? 175 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:03,239 Well, I can get a loan and a grant, and Jonjo says they'll 176 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,079 knock off another 10%, but I still need 10,000. 177 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,199 I haven't got that! I don't mean from you. 178 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,359 Well, what are you telling me for? I mean from Gran. 179 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:11,999 Oh. 180 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,319 I just haven't asked her yet. 181 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,479 Oh, she'll say yes. She'll do anything for you. 182 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,639 I thought you were going to ask me. That's a relief. 183 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,319 No, I'm asking you if I can ask Gran, 184 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:24,239 because her money belongs to all of us, really. 185 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:25,919 But I need it. 186 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,999 Of course you can. Really? Yeah. 187 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,359 I think it's brilliant. 188 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:30,879 I mean, it's a lot of work. 189 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:32,759 What about Stephen and Danny boy? 190 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,999 Have you asked them yet? No, I wanted to ask you first. 191 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,119 But you know what Dan will say. What? 192 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,479 Can we give Viktor a job? Oh, stop it. 193 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,279 Can we buy Viktor a truck? 194 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:43,879 Can we give all the money to Viktor? 195 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:45,199 You are so bad. 196 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,039 I know, really. 197 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,959 Honestly, you know. 198 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,479 So, tell me, who's Jonjo? 199 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,559 Because my brother, he's just thick. 200 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,039 I used to slap him on the head 201 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,359 when he was five years old and say, "Oi, thick boy!" 202 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,559 He says me hitting him on the head made him thick. 203 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:03,479 I said, "You would say that, because you're thick. QED." 204 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,079 My sister, though, brilliant. 205 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,159 You know those areas in London they've sealed off? 206 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,999 Won't let commoners in, like Kensington? 207 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,839 Yeah. She's got a pass. She's allowed in. 208 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,279 Whoops! Get off! Sorry. 209 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,920 SHE SHRIEKS Oh, my God! You're an arse. 210 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:19,760 Get it off me! 211 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,119 Now, that grill, it can reach temperatures of 300 Celsius, 212 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,999 which is a bit unnecessary. 213 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,559 Burgers would be carbonised. 214 00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:29,679 But handy if there is another Ice Age. 215 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:32,039 We can all huddle in here and start a new civilisation. 216 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,799 We've lowered the handles for you. 217 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,599 No good news on the gearbox, 218 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,839 which means you still need me to drive. 219 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,479 That's OK, as long as I get free chips. 220 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,039 You want to watch that drawer, it keeps sticking. 221 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:47,320 Apart from that, I think it's about time I kissed you. 222 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:49,919 No, I don't think so. 223 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,839 For real? Why not? 224 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,359 Jonjo, it's too soon, I think we should wait. 225 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,120 OK. 226 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,520 Have we waited long enough? - No. 227 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,720 Have we waited long enough? - No. 228 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,720 OK, we've waited long enough. 229 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,999 Hello, here we are! 230 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,519 Bravo! 231 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,079 What do you think? Be honest, do you like it? 232 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:34,639 Just say yes. Well I better had, it cost me enough. 233 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,839 And you must be the man with designs on my granddaughter? 234 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,759 That's me. And I stamped my designs all over her lovely bum. 235 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,280 Nice to meet you, Mu. Come here. 236 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:49,039 Roll up, folks, the Rosie Lyons Experience is now open. 237 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,839 Whoo! 238 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,839 If you want burgers, we've got acorn burgers, 239 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,839 membrane burgers, ersatz burgers, bulk burgers, non-burgers, 240 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,399 no burgers, not burgers, 241 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,559 burger substitutes and paper burgers. 242 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,839 Nicer than it sounds. What do you think, Mu? 243 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,079 You look like a traditional 244 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,919 quarter pounder with cheese, am I right? 245 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,480 I'll have a crocodile sandwich - and make it snappy. 246 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:13,559 Mum used to say that. It's still funny. 247 00:11:13,561 --> 00:11:14,999 It's never not funny. 248 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,799 He's all right, Jonjo, yeah? 249 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:21,519 He's the sort of man who's happy when he finds a big crisp. 250 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,239 Rosie's not daft, she kept an eye on him. 251 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,239 He's good with the boys. 252 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:29,039 So, I need to get Viktor out. 253 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,639 OK, you mean out of Europe? - Yes. 254 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:32,879 And into the UK? 255 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,279 Yeah. - Illegally? - Yeah. 256 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,559 Do you want me to go? 257 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,959 No, it's OK. But what do I do? 258 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,599 I mean, it's safer now, because this Spanish revolution, 259 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,399 it's like any revolution, it's a mess, 260 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,159 no-one knows what anyone's doing, 261 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,519 but if they get organised, send him back home, 262 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,679 well, it could be a death sentence. 263 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:53,719 It's like that in the Ukraine, people just disappear. 264 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,319 I can't believe I'm saying this 265 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,359 sitting here in the garden, but it's a fact. 266 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,639 He could be executed. 267 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,159 So, what do you need? 268 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,840 A fake passport. 269 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,200 You know, really, I'll leave you to it. 270 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,479 I didn't like to ask her to go. 271 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,599 You think she's OK these days? 272 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,200 She's living with Gran. 273 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:18,919 So, I just thought - you know some dodgy people. 274 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,279 Do I? 275 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:23,359 - Oh, come on, Edith, your mates. - God knows what you get up to. 276 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,479 Well, yeah, I suppose years ago, I could have taken you in a pub 277 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,759 down Cheetham Hill, 300 quid, done. 278 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:31,319 But these days, you need a breath scan - 279 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:34,519 identification by breathing, I don't know anyone who does that. 280 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,159 Well, there must be away. 281 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,759 Because we're not stupid, we're not poor, we're not lacking. 282 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:40,359 I'm sorry, but we're clever. 283 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,439 We could think of something, surely. 284 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:45,479 I don't think refugees are refugees because they're thick. 285 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:48,399 No, don't do that, I'm saying the system is stupid. 286 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,119 Well, do you know the people that designed Brexit? 287 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,719 For God's sake, don't tell me we can't outthink them! 288 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:54,959 OK. 289 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,479 I suppose half your job is get ex-cons back into housing, 290 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:58,919 if anyone knows anyone. 291 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:02,479 I know, but that makes it worse. I can't ask at work. 292 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,519 One wrong word and... 293 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:06,440 I like this terrine. 294 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,400 Yeah, Celeste made it. 295 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,559 Even if you can get him into Britain, 296 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,239 he'll never be a legal citizen. 297 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:18,719 So? - He'd be a criminal forever. 298 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,119 It doesn't matter, does it? 299 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,199 Just live our lives. 300 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:24,839 No-one would know. 301 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,959 How often did the police come to the door? 302 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,559 Like, never, not for people like us. Never. 303 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:30,959 And we could move. 304 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,679 So, no-one would even ask, he would just be my boyfriend. 305 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,079 I'd earn the money and he could be safe. 306 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:39,759 I mean, that's better than a death sentence, isn't it? 307 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:42,439 I mean, for God's sake, a death sentence. 308 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,039 It's... 309 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,679 Hey, hey, hey! 310 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:47,239 Careful, you two. 311 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,279 It gets slippery. OK. 312 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,880 Are we calling that a T-shirt, or are we calling that a dress? 313 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:54,840 I don't think it matters. 314 00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,040 No, he looks beautiful. 315 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,480 So, what are you going to do? 316 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,759 Telephone call, Edith Lyons. 317 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:16,079 Yeah. Telephone call... Shut up! 318 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:17,600 ..Edith Lyons. - Ugh! 319 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:20,839 Hey. Hello? 320 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,319 This party is brilliant. 321 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,479 Yeah, I know, I can hear it. 322 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,039 Come and have a drink. 323 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,799 I'm in me pants! 324 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,320 That won't affect Fran. 325 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:34,159 Tell her I said happy birthday. Where are you now? 326 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:35,600 I'm out the front. 327 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,160 Oh... All right. 328 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,999 Hello! 329 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,239 Hello. 330 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,119 Hey, can I ask though - 331 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,919 what is it with you and Fran, really? 332 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,879 Nothing, nothing, just friends, just mates. 333 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:56,720 Sort of. Now and then. 334 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:02,599 But the thing is, she says she's going to Spain in October. 335 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,559 They are taking that tour, songs and fables, the African thing. 336 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:09,679 No, no, they're cancelled, the FCO has labelled Spain, 337 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:12,839 "We advise against all but essential travel." 338 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,839 You still go. 339 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,559 I'm engaged. 340 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,679 But she's sponsored by the British Council - 341 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,079 if you are funded by the arts, 342 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,079 you can just drive into war zones, no-one cares. 343 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:23,719 Fran once took sonnets to Syria, 344 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,559 never mind food, have some sonnets, but no-one stopped her. 345 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:27,799 Drove in, drove out. 346 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:30,000 Yeah, Viktor helped her. 347 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,239 With the tour, he introduced her to that couple, 348 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,479 the ones who put on the festival. 349 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,200 Well, then... 350 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,639 She owes him. 351 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,760 Pity she can't smuggle him out. 352 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,439 With the vote of no-confidence, 353 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,359 the Parliament of Water has been dissolved. 354 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,359 The date for the general election has been set 355 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,999 for Thursday, the 21st of October. 356 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,599 But for the first time in history, voting is compulsory. 357 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,919 Like Australia, every British citizen must vote, 358 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,719 or break the law. It's going to change everything. 359 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,999 I was really looking forward to the campaign. 360 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,599 There's nothing I like more than a fair fight. 361 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,999 But these deep fake videos are ruining the debate, 362 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,079 and they're threatening democracy. 363 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,279 Deep fakes are videos in which a living person's face 364 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:37,879 and voice are recreated in CGI to say anything 365 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,359 the programmer wants. 366 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,479 There is one obvious solution to all the foreigners in this country. 367 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:43,719 That's not me. 368 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,599 Arrest them, throw them out. 369 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,199 I didn't say that, I would never say that. 370 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,439 And if they resist... 371 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,439 That face and that voice are completely fake! 372 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,559 Ex-ex-execute them. 373 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,279 Ask me what to do with the rich, and I say... 374 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:56,799 That is literally not me. 375 00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,719 ..take their homes, burn them down... 376 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,119 It's a fake! 377 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,759 ..and throw those bastards to the w-w-wolves. 378 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,799 It CGI, it's a lie! 379 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,039 So, you are saying these videos are fake? 380 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:08,839 Oh, of course they're fake videos. 381 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,039 Everyone can see they're not real. 382 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:15,879 All the same, they really did say those things. 383 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,639 Didn't they? 384 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,399 What do we do? 385 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:23,040 How do we make a stand? How do we stop it? 386 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,879 Fran. I need a favour. 387 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:37,319 Hi, yeah, a woman called Vita put me through. 388 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,759 My name's Daniel Lyons, I'm coming to the bank tomorrow, 389 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:43,039 I need to close my savings account ending 3032, 390 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,759 and my extra account ending in 5061. 391 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,000 I need the money in cash and I need it in euros. 392 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,119 Thank you very much. 393 00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:53,639 And with campaigning in the final week, 394 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,519 it's fair to say that polls have no idea what will happen. 395 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,919 Now that voting is compulsory, no-one can predict how the entire 396 00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,239 British population will vote en masse. 397 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,359 Call! 398 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:07,719 Family link, audio only. 399 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,839 Daniel calling. Senor, accept. 400 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,839 Hiya, bit busy, what's up? 401 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,679 Hello there, Danny, how are you? 402 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,319 I'm trying to work! 403 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,479 Hi, Gran. I'm at the doctor's. 404 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,679 Make it quick. 405 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,680 Oh, good morning. 406 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,279 Stephen, is that you? What are you doing? 407 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,079 Parcel on board. 408 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:29,719 Well, it sounds like you're doing something else. 409 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,759 Sorry, Celeste, didn't mean to interrupt. 410 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,959 No, Celeste's at home with me. 411 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:38,079 Well, she better have a word with him then, the dirty dog. 412 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,559 For God's sake! 413 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,439 Just to say this man at work's moved his days about, 414 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:46,119 so all of a sudden, I've got a holiday. I'm off to Spain. 415 00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:50,799 Gran, I won't be around on Sunday, OK? I'm sorry about that. 416 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,719 Cast your vote for Thursday, it's the law. 417 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,599 Give Viktor our love. 418 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:59,039 Warn him, I might fly over there myself one of these days. 419 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,959 Fran is in Madrid, right now. 420 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:06,719 I know. we're going to meet up. 421 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,360 Should be nice. 422 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,319 Fingers crossed. 423 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,239 Edith Lyons? That's me. 424 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,639 Good luck, Dan. 425 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,439 I'll see you soon. 426 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:21,359 Have a... nice... time. 427 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,079 I will. I'll see you soon. 428 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,520 Yeah, bye. Family link off. 429 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:41,159 So, Fran is, like, plan number one, 430 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:45,879 but failing that, I've got 15,000 euros. 431 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,959 Well, strictly speaking, 15,240 euros. 432 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,439 We are going to buy our way out of here. 433 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,439 Even if I have to commandeer a yacht to get us across the Channel, 434 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:56,999 we will do it. Please say yes. 435 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,479 My God! I'm saying yes. 436 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,439 If you leave Spain and you get stopped without your papers, 437 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,559 you'll get sent back to Ukraine. 438 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,839 I know. I'm saying yes. 439 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,560 All the yes, completely yes! 440 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,199 I just never thought you'd, you know... 441 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,439 What? Never thought I'd what? 442 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,639 Well, you are always kind of boring. 443 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,679 Oh, thank you! 444 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,320 But I like the boring. I love it. 445 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,680 And all the time... 446 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,680 ..I kept your front door key. 447 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,320 To get me home. 448 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,400 Let's go have a boring life. 449 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,639 OK, they said to keep one of these at all times 450 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,959 under the shirt, because it's harder to steal. 451 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,679 Wallet, keys, emergency cash. 452 00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,399 You've got 200 euros in there, 453 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,079 so if we get separated, you've got that. 454 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,440 OK. - OK? 455 00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:11,879 Oh, yeah. We've got to do this now, 456 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,439 before the rest of the company get 457 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,279 on board, because I haven't told anyone, OK? 458 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:18,159 No-one knows about this. I'd lose my job. All right. 459 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,959 Go as far back as you can and we'll surround you with bags. 460 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,159 Is it safe? Oh, now you ask? 461 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,359 Well, I have to check. It's safe, it's OK. 462 00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:26,639 I can manage. 463 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,439 Plenty of people do this. 464 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:32,159 Now feel the wall, hide yourself behind the bags. 465 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,399 And it's 500 quid for Jim. 466 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,960 You said 200. Do you want to argue with him? 467 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:40,719 What's that in euros? 468 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:41,960 650. 469 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,119 Right, turn your phone on silent. 470 00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:55,959 I have, it's done, it's good. 471 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,640 Now hide yourself, OK? 472 00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:07,159 Hiya. You all right? 473 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,639 I found that restaurant. 474 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,319 It was brilliant. 475 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,799 This is Dan, he's a mate from Manchester. 476 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,439 He's coming back with us. 477 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,199 I told him there's no free rides, he's got to pay his way. 478 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,960 I'll buy you a drink on the ferry. 479 00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:22,799 You're lucky the Schengen Agreement's still in place - 480 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,479 by the skin of its teeth - 481 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,119 so we can drive straight into France. 482 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:30,239 And if they find him, it's nothing to do with me 483 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,159 or the company. 484 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,999 He's just a stranger who's climbed on board. 485 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,159 Have you got that? Yes. 486 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:40,439 And you can tell your bloody sister I will not help her ever again. 487 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,959 I know. But we can do this, Fran. 488 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,959 People travel across the world to be safe. 489 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,960 We've just got to get to Dover, that's all. 490 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:04,799 I'm off. 491 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,119 Tuesday means drug test day. 492 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:08,919 I'll be back for dinner. 493 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,959 What are you testing this time? 494 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,119 Some epilepsy drug. 495 00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:14,959 300 quid, that's what matters. 496 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,440 Bye, see you later. 497 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:21,599 OK, so I haven't got long, 498 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,719 because I've got one of those blood test things at 12 o'clock. 499 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:28,200 God, I know you've got your own key, but you could text. 500 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,000 I haven't got long. 501 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:35,999 Is that supposed to be sexy? 502 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,520 Well, yes. 503 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,120 Here I am. 504 00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:48,000 OK, it's working. 505 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:54,239 Morning, you lot. 506 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,719 Right, no-one in the bathroom, thank you very much, 507 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:57,999 it's all mine. 508 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,119 And your Uncle Jonjo stayed over last night - 509 00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:04,119 say hello. Hi. 510 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:07,399 Right, Lee, don't forget that thing for school. 511 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:08,800 All right. 512 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,719 Can I make myself a coffee? 513 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,519 Help yourself. 514 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,840 Do you want anything, anyone? No, we're fine. 515 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,199 OK, you two, I want you to go to Leslie down the hall 516 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:30,039 and ask her what time the shuttle bus leaves. 517 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,119 Oh, it leaves on the hour. 518 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:35,960 I want you to go to Leslie and ask her, and take five minutes. 519 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,319 Split this with your brother. 520 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:43,160 £2.50. Now go. Vamoose! 521 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,319 You all right? Yeah. 522 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,399 It's a nice little kitchen. 523 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:54,719 It's like this on board ship - 524 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,559 we had the galley, same sort of layout. 525 00:24:56,560 --> 00:25:00,239 Rosie said you were like Greenpeace, weren't you? A bit more ramshackle, but, yeah. 526 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,639 She said you went all over. Yeah. 527 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:05,039 Atlantic, Pacific, the Bering Straits, 528 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:08,039 we sailed up to the north of Greenland, saw the last of the ice disappear. 529 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:09,679 It's terrible, that. 530 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,799 It's funny, because volunteers would come on board and say, "Oh, I'm a vegan," 531 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:16,199 but after three months of eating dried pulses, they'd be fishing with the best of us. 532 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:17,559 I bet. 533 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:20,159 In the end, I could fillet a fish with three strokes. 534 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,959 Head, gut, spine. 535 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,999 One, two, three. 536 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,080 Became a dab hand with a knife. 537 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,919 Cos you're more than a fling, Jonjo. 538 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:33,960 Looks like you're staying. 539 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:39,119 And it strikes me that when a man enters a family with two kids, 540 00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:42,999 a family with two little boys right at the heart of it, 541 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:46,159 then I'd better be on the alert. 542 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:47,639 You understand? 543 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,039 Yeah. 544 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,759 Because there are terrible men out there. 545 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,320 But I'm watching. 546 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,559 And believe me, Jonjo, I've done some shit. 547 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,399 Have you got that? 548 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,319 Honestly, I swear, it's all about Rosie. 549 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:04,359 I think she's amazing. 550 00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:05,559 Good. 551 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:06,839 There's no side to me. 552 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,839 My mother always says I've got no layers, 553 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,880 and I think your sister's really, really lovely. 554 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:13,999 Yeah. 555 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,999 I think you do. 556 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,759 All right. 557 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:19,160 I'm still watching. 558 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,319 I don't like the sound of it. 559 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,160 Are they safe, these drugs tests? 560 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,560 300 quid, cash in hand. 561 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:35,999 Ever since we left the EU, the medicines agency moved 562 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:39,279 to France, so now we have to test all the drugs from scratch. 563 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,520 It's a bonanza for people like me. 564 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,199 Time's up. 565 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:45,959 Duty calls. 566 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:47,800 300 quid. 567 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,400 If you could blow there. 568 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:00,200 And there. 569 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,639 Thank you. 570 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,119 We'll be taking blood, so I'm legally required to ask, 571 00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:08,439 do you want to know your life expectancy? 572 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,599 Um, no. No, thanks. 573 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,199 Right. That should take about an hour. 574 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:14,919 I'll come back to keep an eye on you. 575 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:16,320 Thanks. 576 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,559 Lyons in five, he's had a reaction, we might need to flag him up. 577 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,119 Sure, I'll pull up his file. Thanks. 578 00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:52,879 Dr Scott said there's nothing to worry about. 579 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,039 It's a little bit of a side effect, that's all. 580 00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:56,559 Yeah, I can't stop... 581 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:57,880 I keep... 582 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,239 I'm looking left all the time, I can't stop turning my head left. 583 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,679 You are mimicking symptoms of an epileptic seizure, 584 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,159 but without the seizure itself. 585 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,119 Give it a couple hours, it will pass. 586 00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:10,559 You came here on your bike, is that right? 587 00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,079 OK, I don't think that's safe to get you home. 588 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:14,959 Have you got someone who can pick you up? 589 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:18,839 I could try Elaine. I can't focus. 590 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,560 Yeah, it's all right, I'll do it. Elaine Parris. 591 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:25,759 Oh, this is weird. 592 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:27,519 Gran would kill me. 593 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,959 I'll go to Elaine, until it passes. 594 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:31,360 Ohh... 595 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:37,159 Hi there, how did it go? 596 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,599 I'm calling on behalf of Mr Stephen Lyons, 597 00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:41,279 he needs you to come and collect him. 598 00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,919 Lyons in five, nothing to worry about, 599 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:47,040 but he's taking transport home. OK, thanks for letting me know. 600 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:53,719 Phone call, Claverton Facility. 601 00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:56,039 Accept, thank you, Senor. Hello? 602 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,999 Hello, I'm phoning on behalf of Mr Stephen Lyons. 603 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,960 He needs someone to come and collect him. 604 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,239 Hi, my name's Celeste Bisme-Lyons. 605 00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,040 I'm here to get my husband, Stephen Lyons. 606 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,319 Hey. Darling. Hello. 607 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:21,679 It's nice to see you. 608 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:24,559 It's Elaine. We met at that party thing? 609 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,039 Yeah, I remember. 610 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:29,879 I was just visiting and I just popped in, 611 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,919 and it turns out he's not very well. The big lump. 612 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:34,799 Like a bad reaction, they said. 613 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:36,919 Yeah, I can't stop turning my head left. 614 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,519 I was just on my way into work. 615 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:41,600 Well, good. 616 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,279 Thanks, Elaine, I can take him home now. 617 00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:46,520 OK. 618 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:49,519 See you soon then, bye. 619 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,040 Yeah, thanks. 620 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:59,439 It's weird, I just keep turning my head. 621 00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:00,919 I know there's nothing, 622 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:02,560 but I can't stop myself from looking. 623 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:18,560 I think it's getting better though. 624 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,959 Ruby! Are you home? 625 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:26,239 I want you downstairs, now. 626 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,279 I'm home! 627 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:30,079 Ruby, I know you're up there. 628 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:31,919 I want you downstairs this very second. 629 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,679 That's an order. So, what's wrong with him? 630 00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:36,199 Ask him yourself. 631 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:37,759 I'm sorry, it's weird, it's my head. 632 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,279 What do you mean, your head? 633 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,719 What have they done to you this time? 634 00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:44,039 Senor, call Bethany at work. 635 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:45,559 Tag it urgent so she answers. 636 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:47,119 What's that for? 637 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,319 I think we should tell them. 638 00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:50,999 I've only got a funny head. 639 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,639 What is it? I'm busy. 640 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,119 Your daft old dad's just got a funny head, that's all. 641 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:56,439 Hello? Is it really urgent? 642 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,639 I've only got two minutes for personal calls. 643 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,359 No, it won't take long. 644 00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:03,559 Your dad wants to tell you something, girls. 645 00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:05,240 OK. 646 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:11,599 I go to that clinic on Tuesdays, and I tried this drug... 647 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,639 No, I don't mean that. 648 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,800 I mean tell them about Elaine, Stephen. 649 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:23,799 Tell them about the affair you're having with Elaine Parris. 650 00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:25,359 What on Earth do you mean?! 651 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:26,879 And you can shut up. 652 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,320 Senor, end the call. 653 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:34,039 What's she talking about, Dad? 654 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,479 Phone call, Bethany Bisme-Lyons. 655 00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:37,880 Senor, accept. 656 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:41,119 Now, tell them. 657 00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:43,999 Tell your daughters, tell your gran, 658 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,239 and let's tell your whole bloody family - 659 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:48,479 you're always yap-yap-yapping away to them. 660 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:51,519 Tell them all how you've been having an affair. 661 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:55,120 No, that sounds too classy, doesn't it? 662 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,959 Tell them how you've been rutting and snorting 663 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,679 and fucking that greasy-haired little sack for weeks. 664 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,159 For months. 665 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:04,440 For years. 666 00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:09,519 I've got an idea. Let's ask her. 667 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,759 Senor, call Elaine Parris. 668 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:14,440 Calling Elaine Parris. 669 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,839 Get out as fast as you can! They're searching every vehicle. 670 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,639 Come on, mate, we've had it! 671 00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,839 Got word down the line, they're stripping them bare, let's go. What will you do? 672 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:40,559 Don't worry about us, there's always an option. 673 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:42,239 We're heading to Calais. 674 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:44,799 Oh, I think we've blown your cover. 675 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,959 Never mind that, just go. 676 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:48,759 Can we walk? Is it far? 677 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,079 Yeah, I'm just getting... Right, got it, come on. 678 00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:52,920 Thanks. 679 00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,959 It's OK, because I budgeted, 35 euros, cheap hotel, 680 00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:02,719 base of operations, get you that passport, 681 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:06,120 then the breath test, and get us back onto that ferry. 682 00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:22,920 You missed all the drama. 683 00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:26,599 14 missed calls. 684 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:30,959 Turns out Stephen has been having an affair 685 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:32,840 with a woman called Elaine. 686 00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,079 Phone call Rosie, thanks. 687 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:41,159 I've met Elaine. She's a bit tough. 688 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,799 There you are. So, what the hell?! 689 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,199 My God! where have you been? 690 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,039 This is like the biggest day in history. 691 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:48,839 Can you believe it? What's happening? 692 00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,479 How did it happen? Does everyone know? 693 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,759 Celeste announced it like the town crier - 694 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,839 even Gran knows, and the kids, Beth and Ruby, and everyone. 695 00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:59,159 The thing is, she was always out of his league, really. 696 00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,479 Who was, Celeste? Yeah, I mean, look at her. 697 00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:05,000 She's beautiful. Stephen's just Stephen. 698 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:09,359 Oh, my God, I'm never turning my back on you two. You OK though? 699 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,039 How are you? Are you with Viktor? Is he there? 700 00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:13,519 Yeah, we're good, we're fine. 701 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,679 There's nothing to worry about, honestly. 702 00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:16,999 It's all under control. 703 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,519 Oh, my God, though! 704 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:22,080 Stephen - I mean, Stephen?! 705 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,799 You sit there, saying to my face it didn't mean anything. 706 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,679 But it didn't. Let me tell you how nice it is 707 00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,719 to have your whole life wrecked by something 708 00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:35,279 that didn't mean anything! Do you think that helps? 709 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:37,759 No. I'm sorry. 710 00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:40,079 All of it, ruined! 711 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,320 In some dirty little bedsit in Egerton Road. 712 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:45,199 But how do you know? 713 00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,399 I looked her up, long time ago. 714 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:50,479 Elaine Parris, 120 Egerton Road. Simple as that. 715 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,199 Because what else could I do? 716 00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:54,159 Stuck in this house with no money. 717 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:57,639 So, I did the only thing I could do, I drove there. 718 00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:02,319 This was last year, Stephen, last year - this was September. 719 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,759 I sat outside in the car, and I thought, 720 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:06,439 "This is where he does it. 721 00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:09,679 "This is where he makes that noise and slops it into her." 722 00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,799 I'm sorry, Celeste, but I think that's actually a little bit weird. 723 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,479 You can think whatever you like, because you can pack your bags 724 00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:17,679 right now and take your arse back to Egerton Road! 725 00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:19,320 But I'm not with Elaine. We're not... 726 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:23,079 - Besides, I don't think you realise. - I can't leave. 727 00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:25,479 This is my family's house. 728 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:28,239 Hold on. If you don't mind. 729 00:35:28,240 --> 00:35:30,599 Excuse me, I think if you look at the deeds, 730 00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,319 this is still my house. 731 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,039 I'm really, really sorry, but not now, Gran. Seriously. 732 00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:36,359 No, it's highly pertinent. 733 00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:39,399 We've got two young girls upstairs who have had more than enough 734 00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:40,679 trouble for one night. 735 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,720 And I agree with Celeste, get out. 736 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:49,559 Thank you. 737 00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:52,999 I am so disappointed to discover 738 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,919 that you are your father's son. 739 00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,480 Your mother would've been disgusted. 740 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:03,440 Don't say that. - She would've been disgusted. 741 00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:06,160 I am so sorry. 742 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,600 Do what Granny says, then. 743 00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:18,000 Out. 744 00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:39,400 You're so stupid, Dad. 745 00:36:40,720 --> 00:36:42,240 I know. 746 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:45,280 I'm sorry. 747 00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:58,840 What colour is she? 748 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,600 Elaine? She's white. 749 00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:05,240 Bye. 750 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,919 You're not taking the car. I need it for the girls. 751 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:15,280 You can bike. 752 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:52,199 There is a man I met at Three Bridges, 753 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,999 and he says for a passport and a breath test 754 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,160 we need to find a woman called Elodie. 755 00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,160 All right. 756 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:19,760 Bonjour. 757 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:23,280 Nous cherchons Elodie. 758 00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:30,920 Oui? 759 00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:54,879 It is 2,000 for the breath test, it is 4,000 for the passport. 760 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,519 I need the money now. Er, no. 761 00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,439 No, we're only going to pay when we've got them. 762 00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:01,640 Money in advance, or you can go. 763 00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,959 So, the passports cost more than the breath test? 764 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:13,439 Well, the breath test is easy, it's like a mint in the mouth, 765 00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:15,759 but the passport is not easy. 766 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,639 It is not paper any more, it is a polymer. 767 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:20,360 And I'll need your passport. 768 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,279 Mine? What for? To copy. 769 00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:26,559 Where do you think the fake's come from? 770 00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:28,879 With a different photograph, of course. 771 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,839 Have you? Yes. Right, I've got that. 772 00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:33,200 Thank you. 773 00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:38,519 I'll get this back straight away? 774 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:42,040 If you don't trust me, please, go to another. I don't mind. 775 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:46,920 It's all right. 776 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:56,479 Daniel Samuel Lyons, born in 1989, Manchester? 777 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:58,160 Council officer. 778 00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:05,240 Explain to me, how did the council officer find himself here? 779 00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:08,440 Because of him. 780 00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,280 Now, breath test. 781 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:19,560 Won't take long. 782 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:25,239 To be precise, we should have a qualified dentist in attendance, 783 00:40:25,240 --> 00:40:27,959 but we only have a nurse, so if you'd like to sue us 784 00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:31,120 for malpractice, we will fight you through the courts. 785 00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:40,239 Wait here. Two minutes. 786 00:40:40,240 --> 00:40:41,279 All right. 787 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:44,639 Just a small cap on the tooth, it needs fixing. 788 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:48,399 They say it hurts, but I'm sure you can manage. 789 00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:51,280 Boys like you, little bit of pain... 790 00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:54,839 Oh, my God. 791 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:56,439 She hates us! 792 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:57,679 She really hates us. 793 00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:00,559 What does she mean, this tooth cap thing? 794 00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:01,879 I hate teeth. 795 00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:03,359 I don't care. 796 00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:05,319 Just fix it in place with a hammer, 797 00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:06,880 just let me through! 798 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:09,800 God, 6,000 euros. 799 00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:12,960 Jesus. I'm sorry. 800 00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:16,959 Hey, no... 801 00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:18,559 It's worth every penny. 802 00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:20,519 Really... Don't do that. 803 00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:25,319 I said... I said, duh, whatever it takes, didn't I? 804 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:26,480 Hmm? 805 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,520 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit... 806 00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:53,240 Oh! What was it? Was it her? 807 00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:57,280 She's coming back. 808 00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,359 She has to print that stuff... 809 00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:03,359 She's printed... 810 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:04,840 She's coming back, yeah? 811 00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:07,560 Do you think? 812 00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:36,560 You could still go home. 813 00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:44,000 Walk up to customs... "Hey, my passport was stolen." 814 00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:49,040 "OK, no problem, this way, sir." 815 00:42:50,720 --> 00:42:51,800 Yeah... 816 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:54,080 Bye, then. 817 00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:57,680 Well, you could. I'm taking you home. 818 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:00,799 We can't get on the ferry. 819 00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:02,840 Well, we just have to try a different sort of plan. 820 00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:06,320 22 miles, that's all. 821 00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:09,880 Just need to cross 22 miles. 822 00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,359 Mummy. 823 00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:25,440 In you get. 824 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:37,959 What an idiot. 825 00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:39,399 OK. 826 00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:42,239 I don't want you criticising your dad, 827 00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:44,760 but, yeah, blasted fool, fool man. 828 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,479 I can't believe you knew for ages. 829 00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:53,439 So, you knew at Christmas? 830 00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:56,279 Yeah. And that party on New Year's Eve? 831 00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:58,759 Yeah. And on my birthday, you knew then? 832 00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:00,799 How did you do it? 833 00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:02,599 No choice. 834 00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:03,880 I was trapped here with him. 835 00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:07,160 No house, no money, no savings. 836 00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:10,679 I mean, what else could we have done? 837 00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:12,679 Go and live with your gran in Port Maria? 838 00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,440 Oh, no way. No, thanks. 839 00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:17,879 You know what she'd say? 840 00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:22,879 You not too wicked and bad. It's hell you're heading for! 841 00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:27,600 And as for you, Bethany, now bringing dem sodomite nastiness around you! 842 00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:34,280 The thing is, I get up at six. 843 00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:38,319 That's OK. 844 00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:41,479 I get up at six and I do my exercises. 845 00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:42,960 I do callisthenics in here. 846 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,239 Well, I'll stay in bed, if you don't mind. 847 00:44:48,240 --> 00:44:52,839 No, but I don't particularly want you watching. 848 00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:54,479 Why? What does callisthenics involve? 849 00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:55,520 Nothing. 850 00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:00,959 But it's mine, it's my little hour, 851 00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:02,000 all to myself. 852 00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:07,639 Well, I'll be asleep. But you won't. 853 00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:10,320 And we've only got the one room - you'll be staring. 854 00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:16,519 So I thought you could get up at six and go for a coffee and come back 855 00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:18,240 at seven, is that all right? Um... 856 00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:21,879 Yeah, if you want. 857 00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:22,920 Thanks. 858 00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:29,439 Is that every day? 859 00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:30,480 Yes. 860 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:33,640 OK. 861 00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:44,079 OK, transport - 3,000 euros per person. 862 00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,119 So, 6,000 total. 863 00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:50,359 OK, but I refuse to give you the money until we're on the boat. 864 00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:51,399 You pay now. 865 00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,759 Yes, I understand, but I want to wait until I can see the boat. 866 00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:56,159 No, you have to pay now. 867 00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:58,679 Look, this has happened before and we have been robbed. 868 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:00,639 Unfortunate! You pay now. 869 00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:02,719 Well, I absolutely refuse. 870 00:46:02,720 --> 00:46:03,999 OK, good luck. 871 00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,799 We finish. 872 00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:07,639 No, no, no, just wait, wait, wait, wait! 873 00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:09,000 Just look. 874 00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:11,959 I'll pay half. 875 00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:13,000 You give all. 876 00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:20,600 OK. 877 00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:04,120 That's him. 878 00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:07,880 Yes! Come on, get the bag. 879 00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:29,240 It said Cran de Quette. It's a bit of headland. 880 00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:35,760 Hey, do you see? We're actually closer to England now. More like 20 miles. 881 00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:51,760 Is that the boat? 882 00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:55,319 That's not the boat that takes us to the boat? 883 00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:56,440 No, I think that's it. 884 00:47:57,840 --> 00:47:59,319 OK. 885 00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:02,000 Well, never mind, good. 20 miles - that's all. 886 00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:04,200 20 miles. 887 00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:15,200 OK, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold that, hold that. 888 00:48:17,240 --> 00:48:18,999 Danny, what are you doing? 889 00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:21,999 I'm keeping them dry - you should do the same. 890 00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:23,679 Danny, look, we're going to get wet. 891 00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:26,960 No, but I've worked with people, I've seen this, you get foot rot. 892 00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:55,400 Come over, come on! 893 00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:09,680 Oh, shit! 894 00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:15,879 Oh, they're not getting on board, are they? 895 00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:18,840 There must be another boat, there's got to be another boat! 896 00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:29,199 There is no room! There's no room! 897 00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:35,120 There's not enough room, you can see, you can see, there's not enough room! 898 00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:48,279 Oh, shit! OK, budge up, budge up! No, no. Wait! 899 00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:52,600 It doesn't matter, doesn't matter! Come. Come. 900 00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:01,159 Danny, we can get off. We can get off. 901 00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:06,080 No, we can do this. No. We can do it. No. 902 00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:50,960 Are you on your own? 903 00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:55,440 What's your name? 904 00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:02,920 Have you got any paperwork with you? 905 00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:13,840 Where have you come from? 906 00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:38,000 Astonishing, astonishing, astonishing! 907 00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:00,999 Call link. 908 00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:03,839 No, call family link, audio only. 909 00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:05,280 Calling family link. 910 00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:10,999 Danny, have you seen the news over here? 911 00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:14,879 Your favourite woman Prime Minister! I've actually met her. 912 00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:18,839 I love it, she's a nightmare, the whole system's in pieces. 913 00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:22,439 Oh, Dan, mate, no, take me off the family link. 914 00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:25,679 We've got to catch up. A lot of things have changed since you went away. 915 00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:27,119 Sorry, Celeste. 916 00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:29,559 I don't mind. It doesn't bother me, you stay on the link. 917 00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:31,879 Just do what you want. You're very fond of saying 918 00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:33,159 it's your family. 919 00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:34,559 Don't start. 920 00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:39,919 Excuse me! I think, if anyone started this, it was you, Stephen. 921 00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:43,999 Can I just point out - Daniel left his husband for someone else, no-one had a go at him. 922 00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:45,879 Me, it's the end of the world. 923 00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:47,399 Why is that? 924 00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:48,759 I thought I'd better say. 925 00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:52,199 Oh, Viktor, sorry, are you OK? 926 00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:53,839 Hello! Where are you? 927 00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:55,839 Oh, Vik, mate, do us a favour - put Daniel on. 928 00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:57,279 It's a long story. 929 00:54:57,280 --> 00:54:59,399 Wait, sorry, but it says you're home. 930 00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:01,559 You're phoning from Uncle Dan's. You're in Britain? 931 00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:03,079 Oh, my God, no way! 932 00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:04,359 You did it. 933 00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:05,519 How did that happen? 934 00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:07,199 Oh, that's brilliant! 935 00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:09,160 That's amazing! How did you do it, Dan? 936 00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:12,600 Danny, are you there? 937 00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:16,920 I'm at the house and Daniel's dead. 938 00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:20,920 I'm sorry, but he drowned. 939 00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:25,759 We thought we could get across the Channel, 940 00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:30,240 but on the news it says 17 bodies - that was Daniel. 941 00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:33,119 He's dead. 942 00:55:33,120 --> 00:55:34,160 He drowned. 943 00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:39,040 We got half a mile from the shore, but that's a very long way. 944 00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:42,679 What? The police don't know. 945 00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:45,239 His passport was gone, his wallet was in his bag, 946 00:55:45,240 --> 00:55:46,280 and his bag was lost. 947 00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:51,960 So, he's in a town on the coast called Rye, unidentified. 948 00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:54,800 I didn't want to do that. 949 00:55:56,560 --> 00:56:00,360 But I thought, if I came here, they'd never find me. 950 00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:05,000 That doesn't work, I know. 951 00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:12,119 I apologise to you all, but we got on the boat, 952 00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:13,440 and the boat sank. 953 00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:15,440 And he's dead. 954 00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:22,360 I came home. Is this home? 955 00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:08,160 OK. 956 00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:42,319 Viktor, please, are you there? 957 00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:44,719 Viktor! 958 00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:46,119 Viktor? 959 00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:49,279 Open the door! 960 00:57:49,280 --> 00:57:52,800 Viktor!