1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:10,080 The No More Lonely People Act 4 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:11,910 was founded 100 years ago, 5 00:00:11,910 --> 00:00:14,450 in order to bring forward a peaceful world. 6 00:00:14,450 --> 00:00:17,410 It was built on the foundation of love and happiness, 7 00:00:17,410 --> 00:00:20,330 a just and fair medium to find your soulmate. 8 00:00:20,330 --> 00:00:23,880 Since then wars and crime have been down nearly 88%, 9 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,750 proving its effectiveness. 10 00:00:25,750 --> 00:00:27,340 Speaking of effectiveness, 11 00:00:27,340 --> 00:00:31,750 as of today we're operating at a 99.9% accuracy, 12 00:00:31,750 --> 00:00:34,250 nearly perfect, wow. 13 00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:36,180 This system has evolved with technology 14 00:00:36,180 --> 00:00:37,540 from its modest beginnings, 15 00:00:37,540 --> 00:00:41,190 as a letter in the mail to instant access to the NMLP app 16 00:00:41,190 --> 00:00:43,500 available on your mobile devices. 17 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:46,700 We believe in love, we believe in the system. 18 00:00:46,700 --> 00:00:48,393 This system is just and fair. 19 00:01:19,668 --> 00:01:24,133 one step at a time 20 00:01:25,894 --> 00:01:28,383 we're fighting for 21 00:01:28,383 --> 00:01:33,376 I got too much on my mind 22 00:02:01,098 --> 00:02:04,181 Ladies and gentlemen, Eddie P! 23 00:02:08,054 --> 00:02:09,870 - Oh man, we got a lot to cover, 24 00:02:09,870 --> 00:02:11,770 I guess I'll start from the beginning. 25 00:02:14,660 --> 00:02:17,713 All right, so how many of you guys have girlfriends? 26 00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:20,600 Trick question, we all know that's illegal. 27 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,960 But look at you fine members of our prosperous society, 28 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,450 except for that one guy in the back. 29 00:02:25,450 --> 00:02:26,480 I see you, with my eyes, 30 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,600 what you're doing there with your hand, 31 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:28,443 put it down. 32 00:02:29,660 --> 00:02:31,640 There's always one at every show. 33 00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,580 Let's put it in perspective here. 34 00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:35,480 This lovely system we have, 35 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:39,103 gives ugly schmucks a fighting chance, 36 00:02:40,151 --> 00:02:42,080 and boy did it work out in my favor. 37 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,810 My wife is a total smoke show, 38 00:02:44,810 --> 00:02:46,320 that's her over there at the bar. 39 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,170 Everyone wave, say hi, embarrass her. 40 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:52,762 She's way smarter than I am, most of them are. 41 00:02:55,110 --> 00:02:58,130 But I'm the funny one, obviously. 42 00:02:58,130 --> 00:03:00,708 So the other night I was going down on my wife. 43 00:03:01,830 --> 00:03:03,400 She is such a good sport. 44 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,980 I would say, buy her a drink, but we do not need 45 00:03:05,980 --> 00:03:08,583 two drunk Parkers running around this establishment. 46 00:03:10,599 --> 00:03:13,790 So I'm not one for dirty talk, but my wife loves that shit, 47 00:03:13,790 --> 00:03:16,091 like can't get enough of it. 48 00:03:16,091 --> 00:03:18,500 And I mean, like, I'm not good at it, 49 00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:23,500 example, so like, you know, I'm on the job, putting in work, 50 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,933 working up a sweat, and she'll just be like, 51 00:03:27,817 --> 00:03:29,530 "Tell me what you're doing to me." 52 00:03:29,530 --> 00:03:31,430 And just like... 53 00:03:31,430 --> 00:03:35,923 I don't know. I'm fucking you, I guess. 54 00:03:38,370 --> 00:03:40,720 I love my wife, not that I have a choice, 55 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,530 but I really do love my wife. 56 00:03:42,530 --> 00:03:47,432 So I try to participate. 57 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,660 But yeah, so the other night I was going down on my wife, 58 00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:53,500 and for the uninitiated in here 59 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:54,770 I'll show you what that looks like. 60 00:03:54,770 --> 00:03:55,620 It's like... 61 00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:56,453 More like... 62 00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:57,500 Wait, sorry. 63 00:03:59,312 --> 00:04:00,478 It was just kinda like, you know, 64 00:04:00,478 --> 00:04:01,897 it's in there, it's doing work, 65 00:04:01,897 --> 00:04:04,130 and we're having fun as you do when you have the sex. 66 00:04:04,130 --> 00:04:07,310 And she looks at me and goes, 67 00:04:07,310 --> 00:04:10,610 "I want you to eat it like groceries." 68 00:04:10,610 --> 00:04:14,020 And me, comedian, without missing a beat 69 00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:18,290 just goes, "Yeah? I'll eat it like groceries. 70 00:04:18,290 --> 00:04:20,995 Really slowly, and over a week's worth of time." 71 00:04:20,995 --> 00:04:23,208 Thank you so much, I'm Eddie P. 72 00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:42,340 - Oh man. That joke is so stupid, but I loved it. 73 00:04:42,340 --> 00:04:43,845 Ah, a great set. 74 00:04:43,845 --> 00:04:46,180 It's crazy how much you're blowing up. 75 00:04:46,180 --> 00:04:48,520 - Thank you. I appreciate that, I appreciate you. 76 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,673 But that is all her, that is all her right there. 77 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,590 - Hey, you guys should come to the bar over on 81st. 78 00:04:55,590 --> 00:04:57,243 A few of us are gonna head over. 79 00:04:57,243 --> 00:04:59,120 - You know me, always up for more bar, 80 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:00,740 but I gotta check with the wife first. 81 00:05:00,740 --> 00:05:01,573 But I'm going to call you, text or call? 82 00:05:01,573 --> 00:05:03,020 Text, text, text. 83 00:05:03,020 --> 00:05:03,853 - Text. 84 00:05:03,853 --> 00:05:05,550 - Yeah. - All right. 85 00:05:05,550 --> 00:05:06,383 Good stuff, brother. 86 00:05:06,383 --> 00:05:07,216 - Yeah. 87 00:05:18,090 --> 00:05:20,080 Wait, you didn't like it? 88 00:05:21,502 --> 00:05:23,560 - Why did you have to tell that joke? 89 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,090 I asked you not to tell that joke, 90 00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:27,444 you have plenty of material. 91 00:05:27,444 --> 00:05:28,440 - What? They ate it up, 92 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,383 and not slowly over weeks a weeks worth of time. 93 00:05:31,650 --> 00:05:32,650 - It's embarrassing. 94 00:05:36,430 --> 00:05:38,210 - What, are we leaving? 95 00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:40,130 - Honey, why couldn't you just hold the fire hydrant story? 96 00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:41,017 It's great- - Fuck the fire hydrant story, 97 00:05:41,017 --> 00:05:42,463 - During the freaking act, 98 00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,100 the permit only works during act, 99 00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:47,097 watch your language. 100 00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:48,873 - But my whole life is an act. 101 00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:51,990 - All right, let's just go. 102 00:05:51,990 --> 00:05:53,763 - But, beer. 103 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:56,420 - Let's go and you can show me how you eat groceries. 104 00:05:56,420 --> 00:06:01,420 - You know, coming from you, not that funny. 105 00:06:04,273 --> 00:06:05,106 - Oh. 106 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:08,855 Let's go! 107 00:06:40,144 --> 00:06:40,977 - What has it been? 108 00:06:40,977 --> 00:06:43,340 1100 days since the silent treatment began? 109 00:06:43,340 --> 00:06:45,490 Guy's going for a record or something, huh? 110 00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:49,733 Gotta say, I'm impressed by the level of pettiness. 111 00:06:50,930 --> 00:06:55,300 Just wanted to let you know that I get to meet her today, 112 00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:57,880 or I hope. 113 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,080 I know you guys don't... 114 00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:03,553 Look, I just want to say I miss you guys. 115 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,319 Can I help you? 116 00:07:21,319 --> 00:07:24,110 - Did you hear they got a lead on those hunter guys? 117 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,642 So crazy. 118 00:07:26,642 --> 00:07:27,860 - Layla? 119 00:07:27,860 --> 00:07:29,360 - What? 120 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,953 - I gotta brush my teeth, why are you taking so long? 121 00:07:31,953 --> 00:07:33,263 - I just got in. 122 00:07:33,263 --> 00:07:34,096 - Grow up. 123 00:07:41,857 --> 00:07:43,524 - I'm working early. 124 00:07:44,740 --> 00:07:46,361 - Excuse me. 125 00:07:47,194 --> 00:07:48,027 Ugh. 126 00:07:56,230 --> 00:07:57,335 - It's time. 127 00:07:57,335 --> 00:07:58,734 - Hmm, take your time. 128 00:07:58,734 --> 00:07:59,567 - Effort. 129 00:07:59,567 --> 00:08:04,317 - Hmm, effort. 130 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,819 You look exactly the same. 131 00:08:11,819 --> 00:08:12,652 - Hmm. 132 00:08:29,668 --> 00:08:30,501 - No. 133 00:08:31,535 --> 00:08:32,480 - What? 134 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:33,820 - I'm sorry, sweetie. 135 00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:35,320 Maybe I could get on top for a little bit 136 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:36,153 and give you a break? 137 00:08:36,153 --> 00:08:38,230 - No, no, no, I'm good. I feel great. 138 00:08:38,230 --> 00:08:41,246 - Yeah. I'm sure you do, but I'd like to try something. 139 00:08:41,246 --> 00:08:42,163 - Oh, okay. 140 00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:58,050 - Yeah, no. You're doing it again. 141 00:08:58,050 --> 00:08:59,040 - I'm sorry. 142 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:00,740 Look, I tried. 143 00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:03,862 - No, it's fine. It's not like we've had a lot of practice. 144 00:09:04,904 --> 00:09:07,500 - Hey, if you want, I could... 145 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,270 - Oh no, it's fine. 146 00:09:12,270 --> 00:09:14,650 You just finish off, I'm gonna go shower. 147 00:09:14,650 --> 00:09:17,240 Besides, we told Lois that we'd help her set up. 148 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:18,073 - Layla. 149 00:09:18,073 --> 00:09:19,190 - You know what I meant. 150 00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:24,010 - Well, hey, Eddie's got this big special coming up 151 00:09:24,010 --> 00:09:26,470 and I figured I could ask him if he could put us on the list 152 00:09:26,470 --> 00:09:27,830 for the taping. 153 00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:29,370 It could be a fun date night, right? 154 00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:32,300 - Yeah. I mean, his humor is not really my kind of... 155 00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:35,783 Yeah, it could be fun. 156 00:09:55,410 --> 00:09:57,205 - All right, about tonight. 157 00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:58,038 - What's tonight? 158 00:09:59,150 --> 00:10:00,850 - So really, we're doing this now? 159 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:02,873 All right, cool. 160 00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:07,350 Truth be told, I just think it's a better idea 161 00:10:07,350 --> 00:10:11,430 if we lay low this evening, no party. 162 00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:13,930 - Okay. No party, I get it. 163 00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:16,823 I just think it's hilarious how big your ego is, dude. 164 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,882 - I just don't want nothing crazy, I just want a- 165 00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:23,760 - No party, I get it. 166 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,573 No party for your 23rd birthday, it's fine. 167 00:10:34,373 --> 00:10:37,410 - You're not gonna listen to me, are you? 168 00:10:37,410 --> 00:10:38,896 - I don't know what you're talking about. 169 00:10:42,837 --> 00:10:44,921 You're hooked into Radio , 170 00:10:44,921 --> 00:10:45,754 New York. 171 00:10:46,810 --> 00:10:48,020 A few weeks ago, Eddie P, 172 00:10:48,020 --> 00:10:51,200 announced a live televised standup special. 173 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:54,780 Now, this is interesting because we're wondering how 174 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:57,260 he's gonna do with the profanity clause in this country. 175 00:10:57,260 --> 00:10:59,790 He's been skating by in the private clubs 176 00:10:59,790 --> 00:11:01,530 with the profanity permits. 177 00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:03,440 So I'm just curious to see 178 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,430 how this man is gonna pull off a clean set. 179 00:11:06,430 --> 00:11:08,370 Call in, and let us know your thoughts. 180 00:11:08,370 --> 00:11:13,230 1-800-934-6848, that's 1-800-934-6848. 181 00:11:14,370 --> 00:11:15,850 Up next, we got them up... 182 00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:27,986 - Fuck. 183 00:11:37,408 --> 00:11:38,990 - Christ, you scared me! 184 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,340 - Sorry, you didn't pick up the phone 185 00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:41,419 and the back door was open. 186 00:11:42,252 --> 00:11:43,840 - Yeah. Well, if you had actually showed up on time 187 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:44,870 like I asked you to. 188 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,371 - Sorry, that was my fault. 189 00:11:46,371 --> 00:11:48,640 I couldn't find the right outfit to wear, 190 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,171 you know, first world problems. 191 00:11:51,004 --> 00:11:51,837 - You're April! 192 00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:52,850 - Yeah. - How fun. 193 00:11:52,850 --> 00:11:55,040 - It's nice to finally meet Michael's friends. 194 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:56,270 Sorry, April Eastman. 195 00:11:56,270 --> 00:11:58,450 - You're gorgeous. 196 00:11:58,450 --> 00:12:00,980 It's just you're so much prettier than in the pictures. 197 00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:02,850 Not that the pictures aren't pretty, 198 00:12:02,850 --> 00:12:05,420 they just, they don't do you justice. 199 00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:08,280 - I will try and take that as a compliment. 200 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:09,770 Is there anything we can do to help? 201 00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:12,800 - Yeah, I actually have another porch if you wouldn't mind. 202 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,213 - Yeah. - Thanks. 203 00:12:20,923 --> 00:12:22,506 - Bro, what a babe! 204 00:12:23,530 --> 00:12:24,847 - Yeah, she's pretty great. 205 00:12:24,847 --> 00:12:27,120 - I'm surprised she came. 206 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,415 - What do you mean? She's my soulmate of course she came. 207 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,377 - Yeah, but, you know, she never comes. 208 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:33,463 - What? 209 00:12:33,463 --> 00:12:35,170 - To anything we invite her to. 210 00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:38,200 Dude, what? You've been matched with her for two years 211 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:39,653 and I'm just meeting her now? 212 00:12:41,230 --> 00:12:44,193 - Yeah, things have been inconvenient. 213 00:12:44,193 --> 00:12:45,623 But, hey, she's here now. 214 00:12:47,270 --> 00:12:49,923 - Yeah. On that note, Robin's coming. 215 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,030 - Robin? 216 00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:53,863 - Yeah. 217 00:13:07,301 --> 00:13:09,386 - The plane was a little delayed. 218 00:13:09,386 --> 00:13:10,837 Hey, there she is! 219 00:13:10,837 --> 00:13:14,053 - You bloody wankers, it's so good to see you. 220 00:13:14,053 --> 00:13:17,230 - Good to see you, Mary. How are ya? 221 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,553 How many shots did you have on the plane? 222 00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:23,066 Not enough. Eddie, you joining in? 223 00:13:24,830 --> 00:13:26,780 - This is why you're my favorite Aussie. 224 00:13:26,780 --> 00:13:29,240 - I'm the only one you know. 225 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:30,890 - But I probably shouldn't, 226 00:13:30,890 --> 00:13:32,854 'cause you know the men in suits and the Hunter thing 227 00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:33,687 are in our past. 228 00:13:35,366 --> 00:13:36,880 We'll get so fucking drunk later. 229 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:37,940 I didn't say that, you said that. Shut up. 230 00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:40,880 - So, how many pubs are we hitting today? 231 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,369 Eddie, and freaking open mics, 232 00:13:42,369 --> 00:13:45,023 or aren't you gonna resurrect our old routine? 233 00:13:45,023 --> 00:13:48,280 - Uh, yikes. You probably should clear that with my manager, 234 00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:49,500 but be careful, she can be a real... 235 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,293 - Oh, please finish that sentence. 236 00:13:52,171 --> 00:13:54,470 I'm dying to see where that goes. 237 00:13:54,470 --> 00:13:56,687 - Loving and supportive wife, partner. 238 00:13:56,687 --> 00:13:59,110 What else would I say about you, dear? 239 00:13:59,110 --> 00:14:00,620 - Ugh, disgusting. 240 00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:02,523 Okay, so what are we doing? 241 00:14:03,370 --> 00:14:05,140 - So we're gonna drop your luggage at our house, 242 00:14:05,140 --> 00:14:07,430 and then we're going to get a food. 243 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,263 - One food. 244 00:14:08,263 --> 00:14:11,151 - And then we're going to stop by Angelo's birthday party. 245 00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,630 - Birthday party? 246 00:14:12,630 --> 00:14:14,830 - It's Eddie's best friend. 247 00:14:14,830 --> 00:14:17,230 - Yeah, my best friend who didn't get us a wedding gift, 248 00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:19,044 blacklisted, just like my parents. 249 00:14:19,044 --> 00:14:20,603 - Oh God. Come one. 250 00:14:20,603 --> 00:14:22,524 - My parents are dead. 251 00:14:22,524 --> 00:14:23,357 It's not going to have- 252 00:14:23,357 --> 00:14:25,450 - Fun. Okay, this party there, let's bail. 253 00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:27,750 - There's gonna be a ton of alcohol there, Mary. 254 00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:31,720 - Hmm, Angelo deserves to meet me then. 255 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:32,940 - If you give her alcohol she'll do anything 256 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:35,110 - That's what they said in college. 257 00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:37,283 - That was healthy. 258 00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:39,123 - Thank you. 259 00:14:39,123 --> 00:14:40,710 - It smelled like apple burritos. 260 00:14:40,710 --> 00:14:43,333 - Well, that doesn't make sense. 261 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,001 - Let me help you with that. 262 00:14:51,001 --> 00:14:52,750 - Thank you so much, I have been standing here 263 00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:54,692 for an embarrassing amount of time. 264 00:14:54,692 --> 00:14:55,781 I'm April. 265 00:14:55,781 --> 00:14:59,423 - Oh God, April Eastman, yes I know, marketing. 266 00:15:00,820 --> 00:15:01,653 - Have we met? 267 00:15:01,653 --> 00:15:04,030 - Oh, not really. I'm Robin Drake. 268 00:15:04,030 --> 00:15:05,540 I'm friends with the birthday boy. 269 00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:07,270 We all kind of grew up together. 270 00:15:07,270 --> 00:15:08,103 - Cool, but... 271 00:15:08,103 --> 00:15:10,830 - Yeah, and I'm an investigative journalist 272 00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:12,760 so I just, I make it a point to know 273 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,770 who all of my friends soulmates are, like you. 274 00:15:15,770 --> 00:15:16,603 - Oh. 275 00:15:16,603 --> 00:15:19,580 - Yeah, frankly, he posted a picture of you on social media. 276 00:15:19,580 --> 00:15:21,780 So there, you have my secret. 277 00:15:21,780 --> 00:15:23,841 - Yeah, he is a bit of an over-sharer. 278 00:15:23,841 --> 00:15:27,433 - Yeah, it's good to hear that he hasn't changed. 279 00:15:28,630 --> 00:15:29,480 - Shall we? 280 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:30,813 - Yeah, I guess. 281 00:15:35,980 --> 00:15:37,810 - This place is pretty wild, Layla. 282 00:15:37,810 --> 00:15:40,050 - Angelo's new gig has its perks, 283 00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:41,590 and I don't have to commute as much, 284 00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:44,490 and he doesn't even make me pay for rent, like a true bro. 285 00:15:44,490 --> 00:15:46,583 I literally just chip in for utilities. 286 00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:50,170 - What a life! 287 00:15:50,170 --> 00:15:51,767 Okay, so we're out there working 288 00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:53,863 and you guys are in here drinking? 289 00:15:54,696 --> 00:15:55,613 - Hi! - Hi! 290 00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:00,253 - Look at this outfit, huh, killer! 291 00:16:00,253 --> 00:16:03,205 - Just the perks of the job, babe, you know. 292 00:16:03,205 --> 00:16:05,113 - Hey, friendo. 293 00:16:05,113 --> 00:16:06,413 - Hey, tiger. 294 00:16:10,544 --> 00:16:11,830 So tell me about your job. 295 00:16:11,830 --> 00:16:13,521 - Here you go. - Thanks. 296 00:16:13,521 --> 00:16:16,120 - You know, honestly it just takes a really special 297 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,870 kind of person to do it. 298 00:16:17,870 --> 00:16:20,040 - Yeah , I love that. 299 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,880 - So, where's the birthday boy? 300 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:26,363 - He is at work. He should be home soon. 301 00:16:26,363 --> 00:16:28,020 - Oh, I'm sorry guys. 302 00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,260 I have to take this. 303 00:16:30,170 --> 00:16:31,730 - He didn't take off? 304 00:16:31,730 --> 00:16:36,730 - No, it's kind of a surprise. 305 00:16:37,653 --> 00:16:39,180 - No. - That sounds fun. 306 00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:40,893 - No, this is bad. 307 00:16:42,015 --> 00:16:43,627 - He doesn't welcome them. 308 00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:45,770 - What's up beautiful expletives. 309 00:16:45,770 --> 00:16:49,980 So are you ready to make some poor life choices? 310 00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:51,570 Bro, let me clap them cheeks. - Hi! 311 00:16:51,570 --> 00:16:54,474 Bro, you will get schooled, let me see that ass. 312 00:16:57,324 --> 00:16:58,290 - Hi, dude. 313 00:16:58,290 --> 00:17:00,771 - Glad to see that he already has the right idea, so... 314 00:17:02,431 --> 00:17:04,790 Oh, this is my cousin, Mary, she's visiting from Australia. 315 00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:07,486 - Hi, welcome. The more the merrier. 316 00:17:07,486 --> 00:17:08,319 - Merrier 'cause... 317 00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:09,437 - Yeah, it's Mary. 318 00:17:12,460 --> 00:17:14,010 Cheers. 319 00:17:14,010 --> 00:17:15,970 - Jello shots, anyone? 320 00:17:15,970 --> 00:17:17,320 - Let's hold off on that. 321 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,530 Angelo loves them, so let's wait for him. 322 00:17:19,530 --> 00:17:21,790 - I don't think he's gonna be in the mood for shots 323 00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:24,443 'cause, surprise party, right? 324 00:17:25,790 --> 00:17:26,623 - Yeah. 325 00:17:26,623 --> 00:17:27,718 - No, he don't like that. 326 00:17:27,718 --> 00:17:28,903 - Ugh, he'll be fine. 327 00:17:28,903 --> 00:17:29,736 - He don't like it. 328 00:17:29,736 --> 00:17:30,569 - I know he doesn't... 329 00:17:30,569 --> 00:17:32,660 Oh my gosh, both of you. 330 00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:33,950 - He really doesn't like it. - He doesn't like it 331 00:17:33,950 --> 00:17:35,550 - Remember 1997. 332 00:17:35,550 --> 00:17:36,760 I know what he likes and what he doesn't like. 333 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,222 - Halloween 1997, he didn't like it. 334 00:17:39,222 --> 00:17:40,770 It's gonna be fine. 335 00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:42,510 Let's not put this negativity out there. 336 00:17:42,510 --> 00:17:44,345 - You said, boo, to him and he didn't like that. 337 00:17:44,345 --> 00:17:46,573 1997 Halloween, do you remember? 338 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,214 There was a lot of blood that night. 339 00:17:50,214 --> 00:17:51,120 - And not fake blood. 340 00:17:53,131 --> 00:17:54,900 - Okay, it's gonna be fine, he'll love it. 341 00:17:54,900 --> 00:17:56,970 We're gonna wait for him to take the jello shots. 342 00:17:56,970 --> 00:17:58,650 - Okay. But I get to turn on the light. 343 00:17:58,650 --> 00:17:59,863 Fine. 344 00:17:59,863 --> 00:18:02,562 - It's my dream to turn on the light for a surprise party. 345 00:18:07,222 --> 00:18:08,639 - Come on, Layla. 346 00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:18,010 Hey, I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, 347 00:18:18,010 --> 00:18:22,815 and ask you to stop calling until you decide to apologize. 348 00:18:22,815 --> 00:18:25,230 I don't have much time. 349 00:18:25,230 --> 00:18:26,653 I thought I read you better. 350 00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:33,470 Your call has been forwarded 351 00:18:33,470 --> 00:18:35,811 to an automatic voice message. 352 00:18:35,811 --> 00:18:37,553 - Wow. 353 00:18:48,512 --> 00:18:49,420 No you shh. Am I doing the lights? 354 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,947 It's fine, just please shh. 355 00:18:53,296 --> 00:18:54,461 I will end you. 356 00:18:56,210 --> 00:18:57,628 Be quiet, he's coming in. 357 00:18:57,628 --> 00:18:58,713 Shh. 358 00:18:58,713 --> 00:19:00,546 He's coming. 359 00:19:08,349 --> 00:19:09,266 - Surprise! 360 00:19:13,450 --> 00:19:17,150 - Oh wow. I need a shower, but I need shots ASAP. 361 00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:18,903 - Yeah, birthday boy! 362 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,135 - That went well. 363 00:19:28,350 --> 00:19:31,030 - Wait, who are you? 364 00:19:31,030 --> 00:19:31,930 Eddie. 365 00:19:34,690 --> 00:19:36,010 - She's been here the whole time? 366 00:19:36,010 --> 00:19:36,843 - Yes, baby. 367 00:19:37,950 --> 00:19:39,353 - I am so sorry. 368 00:19:39,353 --> 00:19:40,997 Like you can see her, right? 369 00:19:40,997 --> 00:19:42,623 Yes, she there. 370 00:19:53,070 --> 00:19:58,040 - Hi. I'm Layla. Welcome to America. 371 00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,940 How was your flight? 372 00:19:59,940 --> 00:20:01,450 - What's all this? 373 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,694 You're touched in the head of something? 374 00:20:03,694 --> 00:20:06,861 What language do you think Australians speak, babe? 375 00:20:06,861 --> 00:20:09,160 You're taking the piss off this one, hey. 376 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,090 - I thought she said Austria. 377 00:20:11,090 --> 00:20:13,240 - Right. Well, you can make it up to me 378 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,590 by taking this shot with me, It's called, to kill ya. 379 00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:18,800 It's a rubbish name, but strangely appropriate. 380 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,360 - What's in it? 381 00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:22,310 - Trust me, love, you don't wanna know. 382 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:29,895 - Ugh, Christ! 383 00:20:32,930 --> 00:20:34,180 - We speak English, mate. 384 00:20:47,530 --> 00:20:48,543 - Hey, baby. 385 00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:54,740 I think you have enough product in your hair. 386 00:20:54,740 --> 00:20:57,070 Like if you were one of those rebels in Alaska 387 00:20:57,070 --> 00:20:59,890 all those years ago, they would have found your charred body 388 00:20:59,890 --> 00:21:01,163 and your perfect hair. 389 00:21:02,450 --> 00:21:03,603 Tough room, bro. 390 00:21:06,710 --> 00:21:08,240 - Sorry man. It's just... 391 00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:13,440 Dude, you're actually here, man. 392 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,083 - You think I would miss this? 393 00:21:16,058 --> 00:21:18,840 - The famous Eddie Parker coming to my surprise party 394 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,763 that I totally asked for. 395 00:21:21,710 --> 00:21:24,600 - Yeah, you're right. I am a big deal now. 396 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,950 You think I'd miss your party, man? 397 00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:27,930 Cheryl, on the other hand 398 00:21:27,930 --> 00:21:29,440 I had to convince her to go home last night, 399 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,450 not stay out drinking, just to be here. 400 00:21:32,450 --> 00:21:35,500 - Actually that doesn't sound like her, but... 401 00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:38,590 - Hey, happy birthday, buddy. 402 00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:39,480 Let's get down to the party? 403 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:41,480 - All right. Just let me finish. 404 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,200 - No, no, you look fine. 405 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,100 Come on, let's go. 406 00:21:45,350 --> 00:21:48,357 Hey, it looks good. Let's go. 407 00:21:50,210 --> 00:21:52,020 - Lucky guy. I got a little... 408 00:21:53,354 --> 00:21:54,771 Yeah, that'll do. 409 00:22:05,570 --> 00:22:06,720 - She's not gonna bite. 410 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:07,930 - Oh my God, don't do that. 411 00:22:07,930 --> 00:22:08,890 - Just go talk to her. 412 00:22:08,890 --> 00:22:11,670 She's like the nicest person on the planet, 413 00:22:11,670 --> 00:22:13,520 unless Eddie's doing a bit. 414 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:14,750 - I don't think you understand who she is, 415 00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:16,553 she's like a rock star in my field. 416 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,113 - Cheryl, are you a rock star? 417 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:23,483 - No, not in this lifetime. 418 00:22:25,150 --> 00:22:26,730 It's good to meet you. 419 00:22:26,730 --> 00:22:28,570 I'm so sorry, what's your name again? 420 00:22:28,570 --> 00:22:30,930 - April Eastman, we actually work in the same building. 421 00:22:30,930 --> 00:22:34,000 - Eastman, I have seen that name before. 422 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,610 You work in Denver's Department, don't you? 423 00:22:35,610 --> 00:22:37,810 - Yeah, I do. Crystal is my supervisor. 424 00:22:37,810 --> 00:22:39,560 - Oh my God, I've been meaning to catch up with her. 425 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,070 She just matched with someone, didn't she? 426 00:22:41,070 --> 00:22:41,903 - Yeah, she did. 427 00:22:41,903 --> 00:22:43,250 - That's awesome. I am so happy for her. 428 00:22:43,250 --> 00:22:45,090 - Could you guys excuse me for a sec? 429 00:22:45,090 --> 00:22:46,290 - Yeah - Okay. 430 00:22:46,290 --> 00:22:47,123 - Oh my God. 431 00:22:47,123 --> 00:22:48,416 - Yeah. She seems pretty happy. 432 00:22:48,416 --> 00:22:51,500 - So great, it's about time for her. 433 00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:52,333 - I know. 434 00:22:52,333 --> 00:22:53,510 - I know it happened a little later than usual. 435 00:22:53,510 --> 00:22:55,801 - Yeah, which is always a little... 436 00:22:55,801 --> 00:22:58,748 - Yeah, a little nerveracking, but that's fantastic. 437 00:22:58,748 --> 00:22:59,581 - Yeah. 438 00:22:59,581 --> 00:23:01,748 - Oh my God, good to hear. 439 00:23:07,820 --> 00:23:09,320 - Hey tiger. 440 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:10,890 - Robin. 441 00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:11,723 - You look good. 442 00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:13,363 - I'm very happy with her. 443 00:23:16,030 --> 00:23:20,820 - I like her. I mean, she's smart, pretty, 444 00:23:20,820 --> 00:23:22,820 everything that you'd be in to on paper. 445 00:23:24,780 --> 00:23:25,980 - What's your play here? 446 00:23:26,931 --> 00:23:29,340 - Why does everything have to be a game? 447 00:23:29,340 --> 00:23:31,590 - I was just about to ask you the same thing. 448 00:23:41,430 --> 00:23:42,330 - Enjoy the party. 449 00:23:58,738 --> 00:24:01,320 - If I can have your attention, please. 450 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:02,745 It's time for flip cup. 451 00:24:02,745 --> 00:24:05,130 - No, no, no, Eddie. 452 00:24:05,130 --> 00:24:07,970 Come on, you know that makes me a huge mess to clean up. 453 00:24:07,970 --> 00:24:10,302 - Who cares? It's my birthday party. 454 00:24:16,850 --> 00:24:17,982 - Well, it's fine. 455 00:24:17,982 --> 00:24:19,104 - I'll help you clean it up. 456 00:24:19,104 --> 00:24:20,413 - Aw, you're the best. 457 00:24:20,413 --> 00:24:22,293 That's what she says after sex. 458 00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:25,463 - Wow! 459 00:24:29,486 --> 00:24:31,225 - Go! Go! Go! 460 00:25:26,037 --> 00:25:28,663 - Do you really think that in all the multi-verse 461 00:25:28,663 --> 00:25:31,640 that we're the only planet that has intelligent life? 462 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,450 - Multi-verse, what are you talking about? 463 00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:35,757 - You mean to tell me 464 00:25:36,673 --> 00:25:39,090 that you haven't heard of the multi-verse theory? 465 00:25:39,090 --> 00:25:41,640 - Please Eddie, regale us with your tale 466 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,030 of the multi-verse theory. 467 00:25:44,030 --> 00:25:46,920 - It is not a tale, but it will blow your mind. 468 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,210 - Has he lost his mind? 469 00:25:49,210 --> 00:25:50,043 - There are infinite universes, 470 00:25:50,043 --> 00:25:52,240 and in those infinite universes there are infinite earths. 471 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,673 So I think of this, this is the proper 6I6 universe, 472 00:25:54,673 --> 00:25:56,400 but there are other earths, 473 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:57,990 and on one earth it'll be zombies, 474 00:25:57,990 --> 00:25:59,080 or there's another earth where it's the 17th century 475 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:00,420 and the world is still lit by gas lamps, 476 00:26:00,420 --> 00:26:01,850 or, or, or, or, 477 00:26:01,850 --> 00:26:04,350 or what if there's a universe where I'm a mailman 478 00:26:04,350 --> 00:26:05,370 named David who wears glasses, 479 00:26:05,370 --> 00:26:06,430 or we could be all a figment 480 00:26:06,430 --> 00:26:08,397 of a bald, Dominican man's imagination. 481 00:26:10,730 --> 00:26:12,283 - Dang Eddie, that's deep. 482 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:17,360 - Crazy thing, this handsome fella is actually right. 483 00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:19,710 That being said, baby, ease up on the drinks. 484 00:26:19,710 --> 00:26:21,787 You should at least be coherent for the birthday cake. 485 00:26:21,787 --> 00:26:23,950 - Where's this birthday cake? 486 00:26:23,950 --> 00:26:26,743 - Speaking of drinks, what do we got going on here? 487 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:29,430 It's fucking stale. 488 00:26:30,470 --> 00:26:32,760 - Language? And it's seltzer water, 489 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:34,320 somebody's gonna drive home tonight. 490 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:35,837 - We do have more than enough space if you wanna hang 491 00:26:35,837 --> 00:26:37,460 and get wasted with us. 492 00:26:37,460 --> 00:26:39,990 - I appreciate that, but I can't do the drinking 493 00:26:39,990 --> 00:26:41,210 like I used to do. 494 00:26:41,210 --> 00:26:42,718 I'll pass on the hangover. 495 00:26:42,718 --> 00:26:45,393 - So weak. 496 00:26:55,299 --> 00:26:56,739 - Whoa. 497 00:26:56,739 --> 00:26:58,541 Do you need a hand with that? 498 00:26:58,541 --> 00:26:59,442 - It would be helpful. 499 00:26:59,442 --> 00:27:00,275 - Yeah. 500 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:02,680 - I'm trying to get to all of this 501 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,280 before I'm either way too gone or hangover. 502 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:06,683 - Sound logic. 503 00:27:10,615 --> 00:27:13,130 - Oh, what's up? How are you? 504 00:27:13,130 --> 00:27:15,140 You just got promoted at The Times, right? 505 00:27:15,140 --> 00:27:18,660 - Yeah, I did. It's investigative journalist. 506 00:27:18,660 --> 00:27:20,860 I get shipped out to Alaska, 507 00:27:20,860 --> 00:27:23,440 or whatever is left of it, in August. 508 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:24,497 - Sounds dangerous. 509 00:27:24,497 --> 00:27:26,447 - It is, I know, ugh. 510 00:27:26,447 --> 00:27:28,380 I live for that stuff though. 511 00:27:28,380 --> 00:27:29,450 - Someone's gotta do it. 512 00:27:29,450 --> 00:27:34,300 - Yeah. Anyway, and about you, 513 00:27:34,300 --> 00:27:36,650 I mean, you haven't like been matched yet, huh? 514 00:27:38,210 --> 00:27:39,043 - It's fine. 515 00:27:39,043 --> 00:27:40,005 - Hm-hmm. 516 00:27:40,005 --> 00:27:42,560 - You know, the system is fair and just 517 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,829 so my time will come. 518 00:27:44,829 --> 00:27:45,662 - Hm-hmm. 519 00:27:47,750 --> 00:27:49,213 - Uh, you? 520 00:27:50,090 --> 00:27:52,850 - I never really cared about that, 521 00:27:52,850 --> 00:27:54,213 and neither should you. 522 00:28:04,860 --> 00:28:09,790 - I have brought peace, justice and security to my... 523 00:28:16,549 --> 00:28:19,299 We gotta turn it, man. 524 00:28:26,330 --> 00:28:28,549 - So how long have you and Eddie been together? 525 00:28:28,549 --> 00:28:30,660 About five years now. 526 00:28:30,660 --> 00:28:31,595 Wow. 527 00:28:31,595 --> 00:28:32,428 - Yeah. 528 00:28:34,170 --> 00:28:37,020 - No offense, but you seem really... 529 00:28:38,030 --> 00:28:39,430 - Quiet? 530 00:28:39,430 --> 00:28:40,600 - Yeah. 531 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:41,933 In comparison, yeah. 532 00:28:43,442 --> 00:28:47,240 Eddie is the love of my life. 533 00:28:49,163 --> 00:28:52,230 I mean, it's also hard to juggle when your best client 534 00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:53,830 is also your husband. 535 00:28:53,830 --> 00:28:55,040 - And he does that. 536 00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:58,773 - Yes. It's part of his charm. 537 00:29:00,054 --> 00:29:01,380 Speaking of charming, 538 00:29:01,380 --> 00:29:04,380 you and Michael just moved in together, right? 539 00:29:04,380 --> 00:29:05,217 - Yeah. 540 00:29:05,217 --> 00:29:06,580 Oh my God, he's such a sweetheart. 541 00:29:06,580 --> 00:29:10,870 - Yeah, it's a bit of an adjustment period, you know? 542 00:29:10,870 --> 00:29:13,700 It's like, this is who I'm going to be with 543 00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:17,773 for the rest of my life, and that's a lot to take in. 544 00:29:19,026 --> 00:29:20,359 Yeah. 545 00:29:21,380 --> 00:29:24,220 You must be at the two year mark, right? 546 00:29:24,220 --> 00:29:25,560 - Yeah, why? 547 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:26,660 - Believe it or not, 548 00:29:26,660 --> 00:29:29,210 that's when everything kind of starts to settle in. 549 00:29:30,130 --> 00:29:31,300 I mean, like for the first month 550 00:29:31,300 --> 00:29:33,860 Eddie and I didn't say anything, nothing. 551 00:29:33,860 --> 00:29:35,480 Like we would just sit there in silence, 552 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:36,522 I didn't know what to say. 553 00:29:37,650 --> 00:29:40,100 And then one day he just turns to me and he goes, 554 00:29:41,457 --> 00:29:43,410 "You wanna go mini golf? 555 00:29:43,410 --> 00:29:44,400 Mini golf? 556 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,280 - Yeah. Well, it was the only thing he knew about me, 557 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,310 I mean, that I liked to do, rather than my job 558 00:29:50,310 --> 00:29:52,183 and my schooling. 559 00:29:53,748 --> 00:29:56,460 He made the effort to get to know the person 560 00:29:56,460 --> 00:29:59,227 he was gonna spend the rest of his life with. 561 00:29:59,227 --> 00:30:01,800 - I mean, I know Michael, he's- 562 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,407 - And I'm not saying you don't. 563 00:30:04,407 --> 00:30:05,960 All I'm saying is that sometimes 564 00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,360 it's not the most logical situations 565 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:09,810 that make things feel normal. 566 00:30:10,895 --> 00:30:12,630 - The way I see it is, 567 00:30:12,630 --> 00:30:15,160 if you're gonna be stuck with someone the rest of your life, 568 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,370 you might as well make them your best friend, 569 00:30:17,370 --> 00:30:19,110 who you're allowed to touch naughty parts with. 570 00:30:19,110 --> 00:30:19,943 Am I right? 571 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:23,820 Oh yeah, Robin said she wanted everyone 572 00:30:23,820 --> 00:30:25,241 to meet in the living room. 573 00:30:25,241 --> 00:30:26,241 - All right. 574 00:30:27,583 --> 00:30:29,228 - Hey. - Hey. 575 00:30:34,257 --> 00:30:36,140 - Bad. 576 00:30:36,140 --> 00:30:38,030 Oh, I'm sober. 577 00:30:38,030 --> 00:30:40,330 Fine, stay boring. 578 00:30:40,330 --> 00:30:42,340 We met when we were five. 579 00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:43,173 I just remembered- 580 00:30:43,173 --> 00:30:48,173 - Ladies and gents, let's cheers to the birthday boy. 581 00:30:48,690 --> 00:30:50,940 - Cheers, my dear. - Cheers. 582 00:30:50,940 --> 00:30:55,670 - Let's play a fun and totally not friendship ending game. 583 00:30:55,670 --> 00:30:57,350 I mean, what? We've all known each other 584 00:30:57,350 --> 00:31:00,799 since grade school, right? 585 00:31:00,799 --> 00:31:03,610 But we do have a few new faces here, 586 00:31:03,610 --> 00:31:05,600 so I think it's about time 587 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:09,900 that we have a little bit of a refresher, what do you think? 588 00:31:09,900 --> 00:31:11,650 - I'm digging the theatrics, my guy. 589 00:31:11,650 --> 00:31:13,143 - Than you, homey. 590 00:31:14,110 --> 00:31:18,402 Let's play a game of, never have I ever. 591 00:31:18,402 --> 00:31:21,807 - No, no. Last time we played that 592 00:31:21,807 --> 00:31:25,130 it got us all and way too much trouble, not happening. 593 00:31:25,130 --> 00:31:27,913 - Hey, screw it. Let's do it. 594 00:31:28,970 --> 00:31:32,070 - I'm game. And seeing as how I'm the birthday boy, 595 00:31:32,070 --> 00:31:33,395 I'll go first. 596 00:31:35,070 --> 00:31:40,070 Never have I ever been awake for more than two days. 597 00:31:43,350 --> 00:31:45,010 Really? 598 00:31:45,010 --> 00:31:47,583 - It was the cocaine days, mistakes were made. 599 00:31:51,598 --> 00:31:55,010 - Uh, 600 00:31:55,010 --> 00:31:57,943 Never have I ever, kissed anyone? 601 00:32:01,191 --> 00:32:02,024 - Oh, come on. 602 00:32:02,024 --> 00:32:03,107 - That's low. 603 00:32:06,330 --> 00:32:09,740 - Robin? Always the rebel. 604 00:32:09,740 --> 00:32:12,783 - What can I say? I'm an anarchist. 605 00:32:13,810 --> 00:32:15,033 Your turn, Mickey. 606 00:32:19,610 --> 00:32:22,408 - Never have I ever left the country. 607 00:32:22,408 --> 00:32:23,241 - Ugh. 608 00:32:25,130 --> 00:32:27,233 That's piss poor vanilla grade, mate. 609 00:32:28,070 --> 00:32:31,740 All right, my turn. Never have I ever 610 00:32:33,430 --> 00:32:37,683 set my hair eyebrows or eyelashes on fire. 611 00:32:41,205 --> 00:32:43,550 - That's oddly specific. 612 00:32:43,550 --> 00:32:45,165 - I share one drunk story with you. 613 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:49,283 - My turn. 614 00:32:50,670 --> 00:32:54,433 And let's just make things a little bit more spicy. 615 00:32:55,780 --> 00:33:00,780 Never have I ever fucked somebody before being matched. 616 00:33:03,930 --> 00:33:05,783 - You always take things too far. 617 00:33:06,970 --> 00:33:08,576 - What? 618 00:33:10,450 --> 00:33:15,342 Guys, I was kidding, it was a joke. 619 00:33:15,342 --> 00:33:16,313 I need more drinks. 620 00:33:17,570 --> 00:33:18,860 - I loved it. 621 00:33:18,860 --> 00:33:19,693 - Thank you. 622 00:33:29,859 --> 00:33:32,090 - Michael, what was that? 623 00:33:32,090 --> 00:33:34,670 - Robin and I have a complicated past, 624 00:33:34,670 --> 00:33:37,080 we're not exactly the best of friends these days. 625 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:37,913 - Okay? 626 00:33:40,260 --> 00:33:44,960 - I had sex with someone before you, before we matched. 627 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,451 I was in high school, and I... 628 00:33:46,451 --> 00:33:47,284 - Oh. 629 00:33:48,945 --> 00:33:52,060 - I'm not proud of it, but I did it. 630 00:33:52,060 --> 00:33:54,420 And Robin knows and she likes to hold it over me, 631 00:33:54,420 --> 00:33:58,823 and I'm sorry I lost my cool. 632 00:33:59,780 --> 00:34:02,993 - It's okay. Thanks for being honest with me. 633 00:34:04,630 --> 00:34:06,447 - I'm really sorry I never told you. 634 00:34:07,386 --> 00:34:08,219 - It's not really something 635 00:34:08,219 --> 00:34:11,040 that you should be vocal in public about. 636 00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:12,783 I mean, if the wrong people heard that. 637 00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,590 Let's just go back and join the others. 638 00:34:35,830 --> 00:34:37,280 So you guys did it? 639 00:34:56,554 --> 00:34:59,637 - Don't you think you've had enough? 640 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:06,393 - Nope. 641 00:35:06,393 --> 00:35:09,930 - Look, I'm sorry that I threw you a surprise party. 642 00:35:09,930 --> 00:35:11,930 I just wanted to do something nice for you, 643 00:35:11,930 --> 00:35:13,511 on your soul day. 644 00:35:13,511 --> 00:35:16,594 - This is not about the party, Layla. 645 00:35:17,489 --> 00:35:19,572 This is great, all right? 646 00:35:22,710 --> 00:35:24,137 Not everything is about you. 647 00:35:42,809 --> 00:35:44,190 Your call has been forwarded 648 00:35:44,190 --> 00:35:46,513 to an automatic voice message. 649 00:35:51,496 --> 00:35:54,350 - I'm not gonna lie, mate. It's a tad bit creepy. 650 00:35:54,350 --> 00:35:56,800 It's got a bit of a super villainy thing going on, 651 00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:58,730 I'm not really here for it. 652 00:35:58,730 --> 00:36:00,630 - Who are you again? 653 00:36:00,630 --> 00:36:01,890 - I came with Eddie and Cheryl, 654 00:36:01,890 --> 00:36:03,270 I'm her third cousin or something. 655 00:36:03,270 --> 00:36:04,853 We don't really talk about it. 656 00:36:05,820 --> 00:36:10,220 - Right. Well, I'm gonna be super villainy here by myself. 657 00:36:10,220 --> 00:36:11,937 So you can... 658 00:36:11,937 --> 00:36:13,900 - You're sure? It's kind of boring. 659 00:36:13,900 --> 00:36:16,360 Or you just drink a bunch, it helps with whatever 660 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:18,497 this real problem you've got going on is. 661 00:36:18,497 --> 00:36:21,003 Not really heaps keen on talking it out either. 662 00:36:22,208 --> 00:36:23,041 - Yeah. 663 00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:27,633 - Nice talk. 664 00:36:36,310 --> 00:36:37,143 - Hey. 665 00:36:39,570 --> 00:36:41,150 It's almost midnight, we should probably get going. 666 00:36:41,150 --> 00:36:44,460 I doubt Angelo wants anybody here for the matching process. 667 00:36:44,460 --> 00:36:46,850 - Isn't that the entire purpose of the party? 668 00:36:46,850 --> 00:36:49,280 - I guess so, but we've got kind of a long ride, 669 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:50,780 so let's go. 670 00:36:50,780 --> 00:36:54,100 - It's less than an hour, it's not that long of a ride. 671 00:36:54,100 --> 00:36:55,670 - Okay Eddie, can we just go? 672 00:36:56,510 --> 00:36:57,760 - What's with you lately? 673 00:36:59,370 --> 00:37:01,413 You've been super boring all night. 674 00:37:04,485 --> 00:37:07,417 It's like, Cheryl, the Duchess of H20. 675 00:37:08,500 --> 00:37:11,750 Would you like some water with your biscuits? 676 00:37:11,750 --> 00:37:13,720 - Okay Eddie, can you just like turn it off for a second? 677 00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:15,300 'Cause I'm trying to have a serious conversation 678 00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:16,133 with you right now. 679 00:37:16,133 --> 00:37:18,360 - You know what a big turnoff is? 680 00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:21,500 Is this whole sobriety thing you've been on, 681 00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:23,130 the last month and a half. 682 00:37:23,130 --> 00:37:24,053 - Excuse me? 683 00:37:26,134 --> 00:37:27,984 - You wanted to talk, right? My lady. 684 00:37:29,010 --> 00:37:30,670 - But when you're a slobbering mess everywhere we go 685 00:37:30,670 --> 00:37:33,930 someone needs to make sure you get home, Mr. Parker. 686 00:37:33,930 --> 00:37:37,753 - If you wanna go, go. I wanna stay. 687 00:37:39,310 --> 00:37:41,853 I can call a cab, God knows I have the money. 688 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:46,640 Now if you'll excuse me, my lady, the people wish 689 00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:49,463 for the jester to do his magical drinking trick. 690 00:37:56,670 --> 00:37:58,243 - Hey, are you okay? 691 00:38:01,100 --> 00:38:02,050 - I've been better. 692 00:38:03,930 --> 00:38:05,490 - Do you wanna talk about it? 693 00:38:28,570 --> 00:38:31,133 - Sophomore year, Monday before spring break. 694 00:38:34,250 --> 00:38:36,580 - Eddie, no! 695 00:38:36,580 --> 00:38:38,940 - Wait, what about sophomore year? 696 00:38:38,940 --> 00:38:41,420 - Let's see if I still got it. 697 00:38:41,420 --> 00:38:42,500 - Still got what? 698 00:38:42,500 --> 00:38:44,970 - Come on, come on. 699 00:38:44,970 --> 00:38:47,270 What the crap is going on? 700 00:38:47,270 --> 00:38:48,750 - Where is he going? 701 00:38:48,750 --> 00:38:51,250 - I don't know, something about sophomore year, 702 00:38:51,250 --> 00:38:52,083 and I still got it. 703 00:38:52,083 --> 00:38:53,640 It's all very confusing. 704 00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:56,957 - He's never attempted it at this level of drunk. 705 00:38:56,957 --> 00:38:58,994 - Attempted what? 706 00:38:58,994 --> 00:39:01,661 . 707 00:39:02,625 --> 00:39:05,875 - Anyone? Can no one answer a question? 708 00:39:18,697 --> 00:39:21,658 - Hey bud, do you think this is a good idea? 709 00:39:21,658 --> 00:39:24,037 - I'm not changing my mind. 710 00:39:24,037 --> 00:39:25,037 - All right. 711 00:39:26,683 --> 00:39:29,121 I'd like to do that. 712 00:39:29,121 --> 00:39:31,213 Pour them out, pour 'em out. 713 00:39:31,213 --> 00:39:32,230 All right. 714 00:39:32,230 --> 00:39:33,063 Wait, what's all this then? 715 00:39:33,063 --> 00:39:36,060 - I'm gonna do all these shots with my mouth hole. 716 00:39:36,060 --> 00:39:37,160 At one time? 717 00:39:38,870 --> 00:39:41,130 So, this is healthy. 718 00:39:41,130 --> 00:39:42,490 - It's this stupid drinking stunt 719 00:39:42,490 --> 00:39:44,800 Eddie used to pull in college. 720 00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:45,633 He thinks everyone wants it 721 00:39:45,633 --> 00:39:49,300 but we're all really concerned with his drinking problem. 722 00:39:49,300 --> 00:39:51,340 So he's just taking shots? 723 00:39:51,340 --> 00:39:52,827 - He's just taking shots. 724 00:39:55,770 --> 00:39:56,773 - Hey, I'm empty. 725 00:39:59,006 --> 00:40:02,250 Do you wanna maybe get another one? 726 00:40:02,250 --> 00:40:05,240 - Yeah, if you've seen Eddie do this once, 727 00:40:05,240 --> 00:40:07,167 you've seen it a million times. 728 00:40:09,475 --> 00:40:12,703 Yes, savage, mate. Yes! 729 00:40:12,703 --> 00:40:14,378 Four more, Eddie. Four more. 730 00:40:14,378 --> 00:40:15,446 - Get it, get it, yes! 731 00:40:15,446 --> 00:40:17,257 That's out kitchen table. 732 00:40:17,257 --> 00:40:20,174 - Get it, one more. You're my hero! 733 00:40:21,514 --> 00:40:23,132 I am your God now. 734 00:40:26,530 --> 00:40:27,653 - So, new friend. 735 00:40:33,503 --> 00:40:35,100 - I don't know why I am so surprised. 736 00:40:35,100 --> 00:40:38,473 It's Eddie, I should just expect this from him. 737 00:40:39,610 --> 00:40:41,523 - He's just a little drunk. 738 00:40:43,380 --> 00:40:45,090 I'm sure he'll apologize in the morning. 739 00:40:45,090 --> 00:40:48,063 And then you can hold it over his head for months. 740 00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:55,285 - Thanks. 741 00:40:57,766 --> 00:41:02,766 I mean, I love Eddie, 742 00:41:05,316 --> 00:41:07,623 but the things that people love about Eddie, 743 00:41:08,530 --> 00:41:12,090 his humor, his high energy, 744 00:41:12,090 --> 00:41:14,840 they don't get that it's 24/7 and it never stops. 745 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:17,150 That's who he is, it doesn't turn off, 746 00:41:17,150 --> 00:41:20,733 and sometimes it is just exhausting. 747 00:41:22,170 --> 00:41:23,730 Sometimes I would love to have a conversation 748 00:41:23,730 --> 00:41:27,433 with my husband without everything having to be a joke. 749 00:41:30,830 --> 00:41:33,920 I'm sorry, this is a lot. 750 00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:35,131 We don't know each other that well. 751 00:41:35,131 --> 00:41:37,030 - No, no, no, don't think that. 752 00:41:37,030 --> 00:41:38,873 It's fine, I'm here. 753 00:41:39,950 --> 00:41:41,140 - I appreciate that. 754 00:41:44,190 --> 00:41:48,310 Marriage is good, the system is good. 755 00:41:48,310 --> 00:41:53,310 It's just we're people, people aren't always good. 756 00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:55,313 We are- - Flawed. 757 00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:58,150 Yeah, I get that. 758 00:41:59,230 --> 00:42:02,850 I'm starting to realize that this whole match thing 759 00:42:02,850 --> 00:42:04,133 takes a lot of work. 760 00:42:05,258 --> 00:42:06,483 - Aint that the truth. 761 00:42:08,910 --> 00:42:13,910 - If we're being completely transparent, Michael's great, 762 00:42:14,540 --> 00:42:16,570 and he treats me really well. 763 00:42:16,570 --> 00:42:19,250 It's just when we... 764 00:42:20,900 --> 00:42:25,230 There are just some aspects of the relationship 765 00:42:25,230 --> 00:42:27,353 that have been stale. 766 00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:34,833 - Wait, I'm with April. 767 00:42:34,833 --> 00:42:36,373 - But you're with me now. 768 00:43:23,047 --> 00:43:24,130 - Woo! Yeah. 769 00:43:29,567 --> 00:43:32,133 - It's my turn now. 770 00:43:33,910 --> 00:43:35,840 - Hey bud, whoa. 771 00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:37,190 How about you have a seat, bud? 772 00:43:37,190 --> 00:43:42,190 - Is that any way to speak to your Lord and Lord? 773 00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:45,790 - Well, how about... 774 00:43:47,643 --> 00:43:49,540 Will the Lord appreciate a seat 775 00:43:49,540 --> 00:43:52,060 and a couple of hundred glasses of water? 776 00:43:52,060 --> 00:43:53,810 - The Lord would really like some water. 777 00:43:53,810 --> 00:43:54,643 - Yes. 778 00:43:54,643 --> 00:43:56,404 - For the Lord is thirsty. 779 00:43:56,404 --> 00:43:57,404 - Thank you. 780 00:43:59,468 --> 00:44:01,885 - So, round three? Four, two? 781 00:44:04,500 --> 00:44:06,403 - Hey, Lord of the blow flies. 782 00:44:08,780 --> 00:44:11,543 - I think I'm just gonna chill down here for a minute. 783 00:44:12,410 --> 00:44:14,933 - Okay. Good night, have fun. 784 00:44:28,410 --> 00:44:30,993 - So, is this is your first time in the States? 785 00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:33,360 - Oh, so you do speak? 786 00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:35,513 - Yes. I speak. 787 00:44:36,580 --> 00:44:40,010 Sorry about earlier, I had a day and a half. 788 00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:44,760 - Whatever, it's all good. And no, it's my second. 789 00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:45,960 Usually they just come visit me 790 00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:49,853 but Cheryl didn't wanna miss your birthday, the big 23. 791 00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:53,700 - Yeah. Well, maybe you'll understand 792 00:44:53,700 --> 00:44:55,967 when you get to your 23rd. 793 00:44:57,948 --> 00:44:59,603 - I'm 24, mate. 794 00:45:00,558 --> 00:45:01,563 - Oh. 795 00:45:02,470 --> 00:45:03,720 - It's okay though. 796 00:45:03,720 --> 00:45:05,800 The whole system is rooted anyway. 797 00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:06,820 - What? 798 00:45:06,820 --> 00:45:09,250 - Yeah, it's tired, it's old. 799 00:45:09,250 --> 00:45:11,790 It doesn't work half as well as everyone says it does. 800 00:45:11,790 --> 00:45:14,823 - Wait. You really think that? 801 00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:18,540 - Oh no, don't tell me you're one of those blokes 802 00:45:18,540 --> 00:45:21,113 that actually puts all their trust in the system. 803 00:45:22,770 --> 00:45:24,177 - Well, what's not to trust? 804 00:45:24,177 --> 00:45:26,270 - Something that takes away free will 805 00:45:26,270 --> 00:45:28,683 is not a good thing to place trust in. 806 00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:32,750 - All right, so we're doing this. 807 00:45:32,750 --> 00:45:35,649 Okay, but the system is good and look at the- 808 00:45:35,649 --> 00:45:38,520 - Good? 809 00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:40,930 Because illegals are such a great concept to add 810 00:45:40,930 --> 00:45:43,180 to our prosperous society? 811 00:45:43,180 --> 00:45:44,340 There are people out there who are being treated 812 00:45:44,340 --> 00:45:46,190 like second class citizens because their parents 813 00:45:46,190 --> 00:45:50,407 conceived them outside the system, and treated like dog crap 814 00:45:52,240 --> 00:45:53,680 because their parents had the audacity 815 00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:55,763 to love someone of their choice. 816 00:45:57,062 --> 00:45:59,980 - Okay. I'm loving this argument 817 00:45:59,980 --> 00:46:02,960 but it has nothing to do with the system. 818 00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:07,960 Because everything you just said is because of human flaw 819 00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:10,483 and not because of the system. 820 00:46:11,729 --> 00:46:14,253 - Mate, who made the system? 821 00:46:15,100 --> 00:46:17,160 Who wrote the algorithm that tells us 822 00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:19,980 who we're gonna be chained to for the rest of our lives? 823 00:46:19,980 --> 00:46:22,710 It's humans, it's people. 824 00:46:22,710 --> 00:46:24,023 For every Eddie and Cheryl out there 825 00:46:24,023 --> 00:46:27,656 there's a crap ton of them that don't actually click. 826 00:46:28,530 --> 00:46:31,403 I rest my bloody case, mate. 827 00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:40,103 You got this buddy, I believe in you. 828 00:46:45,060 --> 00:46:45,893 - What's that? 829 00:46:47,227 --> 00:46:49,300 - It's a cigarette. 830 00:46:49,300 --> 00:46:52,200 - Well, I know what that is, 831 00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:53,543 but what's in the flask? 832 00:46:55,330 --> 00:46:56,670 - Tequila. 833 00:46:56,670 --> 00:46:57,620 - Straight tequila? 834 00:46:57,620 --> 00:46:58,743 - Yeah, boy! 835 00:46:59,710 --> 00:47:00,543 - I can't stand the taste 836 00:47:00,543 --> 00:47:03,753 of straight tequila, or cigarettes. 837 00:47:04,590 --> 00:47:06,807 How you're doing both is beyond me. 838 00:47:08,050 --> 00:47:09,750 - Well, I wouldn't have to 839 00:47:09,750 --> 00:47:12,280 if they made tequila flavored cigarettes but... 840 00:47:14,254 --> 00:47:17,160 Do you actually like the taste? 841 00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,863 - I like that it tastes bad. 842 00:47:20,958 --> 00:47:21,791 Cheers. 843 00:47:25,720 --> 00:47:26,863 - One hour to go. 844 00:47:29,522 --> 00:47:31,189 One hour. 845 00:47:34,270 --> 00:47:35,987 - What's so funny? I know it wasn't bad. 846 00:47:35,987 --> 00:47:40,850 - The sex? No, I've had worse. 847 00:47:40,850 --> 00:47:41,683 Definitely had better. 848 00:47:41,683 --> 00:47:43,203 - Then what is it? 849 00:47:52,230 --> 00:47:56,143 - What did you really think was gonna happen after this? 850 00:47:57,380 --> 00:47:58,940 - Were you filming us? 851 00:47:58,940 --> 00:48:03,350 - I'll get to that in a minute. Answer me first. 852 00:48:03,350 --> 00:48:05,270 - I think my question is more pressing, Robin. 853 00:48:05,270 --> 00:48:07,970 - Well that's the problem, you don't think, 854 00:48:07,970 --> 00:48:10,453 because you are an inconsiderate asshole. 855 00:48:10,453 --> 00:48:11,840 - Whoa, language. 856 00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:13,360 - Because language is the worst thing 857 00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:14,570 that we've done tonight. 858 00:48:14,570 --> 00:48:17,630 - Okay, let's slow down. Why did you film us? 859 00:48:17,630 --> 00:48:21,200 - To make a fucking point, okay? 860 00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:24,190 The system, it doesn't work. 861 00:48:24,190 --> 00:48:26,070 If April was really your soulmate 862 00:48:26,070 --> 00:48:28,763 then you wouldn't have fucked me behind her back. 863 00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:31,033 - Why are you doing this? 864 00:48:34,500 --> 00:48:35,733 - You loved me. 865 00:48:37,108 --> 00:48:41,430 You loved me today, and in eighth grade, and college, 866 00:48:41,430 --> 00:48:44,110 but not the day of your 23rd birthday, 867 00:48:44,110 --> 00:48:45,860 you just stopped talking to me. 868 00:48:45,860 --> 00:48:47,740 - What did you expect me to do? I got matched. 869 00:48:47,740 --> 00:48:49,310 - Stop. 870 00:48:49,310 --> 00:48:52,683 Stop, you are done. 871 00:48:54,810 --> 00:48:57,810 If the system was really just, 872 00:48:57,810 --> 00:49:00,950 then you wouldn't even be thinking about me, okay? 873 00:49:00,950 --> 00:49:03,960 You would just be so fucking obsessed with April, 874 00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:05,990 but no, you didn't care about whether or not 875 00:49:05,990 --> 00:49:09,180 she would catch us tonight, if anyone would catch us. 876 00:49:09,180 --> 00:49:12,503 And that is actually the best part. 877 00:49:14,750 --> 00:49:15,623 - Don't do this. 878 00:49:19,900 --> 00:49:23,450 - Since college, I never really cared 879 00:49:23,450 --> 00:49:25,513 for any of you systems slaves. 880 00:49:27,330 --> 00:49:28,907 I never liked any of you. 881 00:49:30,260 --> 00:49:35,260 Especially you, you were just the easiest to manipulate. 882 00:49:37,593 --> 00:49:38,913 - I don't believe that. 883 00:49:41,240 --> 00:49:45,963 - I'm printing this, and you have a choice; 884 00:49:47,090 --> 00:49:49,913 You can either tell your soulmate now, 885 00:49:50,750 --> 00:49:53,320 or wait for it to go to print. 886 00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:57,273 Either way she is gonna find out. 887 00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:07,063 You know, they say that revenge isn't satisfying. 888 00:50:09,570 --> 00:50:10,403 They're wrong. 889 00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,120 - Hey, have you seen Cheryl? It's almost mid... 890 00:50:24,124 --> 00:50:27,163 What's wrong? What happened? 891 00:50:27,163 --> 00:50:27,996 - Bad sex. 892 00:50:28,980 --> 00:50:30,367 - Oh God, this is TMI. 893 00:50:31,410 --> 00:50:33,510 - You're already past that point, sweetie. 894 00:50:37,540 --> 00:50:42,540 - I don't know if it's supposed to be like... 895 00:50:43,140 --> 00:50:45,610 Like maybe we're doing it wrong. 896 00:50:45,610 --> 00:50:48,870 I just, I hear from match people all the time 897 00:50:48,870 --> 00:50:51,030 that it's so great, and it's... 898 00:50:53,450 --> 00:50:56,000 Maybe it's just something that's not for me. 899 00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,273 - I mean, it's pretty fricking great. 900 00:51:00,340 --> 00:51:02,250 Oh no, no, no, no, no, 901 00:51:02,250 --> 00:51:04,000 there's nothing wrong with you two. 902 00:51:07,450 --> 00:51:08,910 Honey, God, what? 903 00:51:08,910 --> 00:51:10,800 You think the first time Eddie and I were intimate 904 00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:12,700 that things were fantastic? 905 00:51:12,700 --> 00:51:15,093 Because they were not, they were far from it. 906 00:51:18,380 --> 00:51:23,380 Okay. So at one point he was going down on me 907 00:51:24,777 --> 00:51:29,777 and I was told that you should try dirty talk. 908 00:51:29,950 --> 00:51:31,720 And I said something really stupid. 909 00:51:31,720 --> 00:51:34,700 - You told him to eat it like groceries, and he said- 910 00:51:34,700 --> 00:51:36,703 - Slowly over a week's time, yes. 911 00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:38,930 - That really happened? 912 00:51:38,930 --> 00:51:41,643 - Everything Eddie says on stage is true. 913 00:51:42,580 --> 00:51:44,530 I mean, some of it's a little exaggerated 914 00:51:44,530 --> 00:51:47,630 but he never makes anything up. 915 00:51:47,630 --> 00:51:49,083 - And you're okay with that. 916 00:51:51,470 --> 00:51:53,640 - It took me a while. 917 00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:56,730 I mean, I tried running bits with him that were just bits 918 00:51:56,730 --> 00:52:00,383 but he never really wanted to do them. 919 00:52:01,230 --> 00:52:04,510 He said that comedy should be honest 920 00:52:05,892 --> 00:52:08,710 and that people laugh at him 921 00:52:08,710 --> 00:52:11,500 because they see themselves in his stories. 922 00:52:11,500 --> 00:52:15,653 To take away that truth would be to take away his identity. 923 00:52:17,110 --> 00:52:18,850 - Eddie said that? 924 00:52:18,850 --> 00:52:19,850 - Not as eloquently. 925 00:52:23,510 --> 00:52:27,300 I mean, marriage is work. 926 00:52:29,860 --> 00:52:32,780 You are always going to be working on your marriage. 927 00:52:32,780 --> 00:52:34,883 It's good work, it's pure work. 928 00:52:35,770 --> 00:52:38,450 And as frustrated as I get... 929 00:52:39,470 --> 00:52:43,593 I mean, Eddie can be so immature. 930 00:52:44,780 --> 00:52:46,140 There are just some things 931 00:52:46,140 --> 00:52:48,170 that I don't think he's ready for. 932 00:52:48,170 --> 00:52:51,730 - Like what? 933 00:52:51,730 --> 00:52:53,470 - Just some things 934 00:52:53,470 --> 00:52:57,453 that require a little more responsibility. 935 00:53:01,030 --> 00:53:01,880 I just... 936 00:53:08,018 --> 00:53:10,670 - You know this was exactly what I was worried about. 937 00:53:10,670 --> 00:53:11,890 Well, not exactly, because I didn't think 938 00:53:11,890 --> 00:53:14,700 that I could have ever imagined this. 939 00:53:14,700 --> 00:53:17,150 You know this is all sorts of messed up, Michael. 940 00:53:17,150 --> 00:53:19,472 Seriously, this is bad. 941 00:53:19,472 --> 00:53:22,400 Oh my God. Did she have more than one camera set up? 942 00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:25,060 Did she plant a bunch of cameras all around the house 943 00:53:25,060 --> 00:53:26,380 just to see if I curse when I'm alone? 944 00:53:26,380 --> 00:53:28,166 It was just a one-time honestly, 945 00:53:28,166 --> 00:53:31,180 and I stubbed my toe going up the stairs, no seriously. 946 00:53:31,180 --> 00:53:32,083 Oh my gosh, she can't use that, 947 00:53:32,083 --> 00:53:34,471 because she illegally acquired it without my consent. 948 00:53:34,471 --> 00:53:37,310 She can't, right? She won't, right? 949 00:53:37,310 --> 00:53:39,113 - There was only one camera. 950 00:53:40,420 --> 00:53:41,253 - Okay. 951 00:53:42,720 --> 00:53:44,270 - Now what am I supposed to do? 952 00:53:47,270 --> 00:53:48,327 - You have to tell April. 953 00:53:48,327 --> 00:53:50,150 - I can't tell her. 954 00:53:50,150 --> 00:53:52,423 I can't tell her, it would ruin my life. 955 00:53:53,650 --> 00:53:55,470 - You have to tell her, she's going to find out. 956 00:53:55,470 --> 00:53:57,540 You have to tell her before she finds out. 957 00:53:57,540 --> 00:53:59,560 - I can't tell her. 958 00:53:59,560 --> 00:54:00,763 - Tell me what? 959 00:54:02,994 --> 00:54:04,650 - Do you see TV at all, 960 00:54:04,650 --> 00:54:06,653 like what do you think is in Australia? 961 00:54:08,850 --> 00:54:12,653 - Hey, could you excuse us for a second? 962 00:54:14,270 --> 00:54:15,103 - Yeah, sure. 963 00:54:23,753 --> 00:54:24,586 - Hey. - Hey. 964 00:54:25,730 --> 00:54:27,470 - Just a heads up, there's some stuff going on 965 00:54:27,470 --> 00:54:28,303 with Mike down there, 966 00:54:28,303 --> 00:54:30,830 so I think it's best to stay out of the kitchen. 967 00:54:30,830 --> 00:54:32,260 - Is everything okay? 968 00:54:32,260 --> 00:54:37,113 - I hope so. But only 30 minutes for your soul day. 969 00:54:38,750 --> 00:54:43,233 - Yeah. I'm sorry about earlier. 970 00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:46,830 My parents cut me off for good 971 00:54:48,090 --> 00:54:50,533 because I believe in the system. 972 00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:53,150 - I had no idea. 973 00:54:53,150 --> 00:54:56,180 - Yeah. I know you didn't, and it was really rude of me, 974 00:54:56,180 --> 00:54:58,313 so I'm sorry. 975 00:55:02,700 --> 00:55:06,750 But I'm happy everyone I care about is here. 976 00:55:06,750 --> 00:55:11,750 And Eddie came, so whatever happens, who cares? 977 00:55:11,750 --> 00:55:12,583 - Yeah. 978 00:55:17,210 --> 00:55:19,053 Less than 30 minutes. 979 00:55:23,570 --> 00:55:27,990 Hey, do you think that maybe... 980 00:55:31,430 --> 00:55:33,560 Do you think that maybe the reason I haven't matched yet 981 00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:34,970 is because... 982 00:55:37,420 --> 00:55:39,500 You know what? it's stupid. Never mind. 983 00:55:39,500 --> 00:55:41,893 - Nothing's stupid, what's up? Tell me. 984 00:55:48,720 --> 00:55:51,890 - Do you think that maybe the reason I haven't matched yet 985 00:55:56,250 --> 00:55:58,993 is because maybe I'm gonna be matched tonight? 986 00:56:01,220 --> 00:56:04,960 - Yeah, it's a possibility, you know? 987 00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:07,970 Every day after your 23rd is a possibility, right? 988 00:56:07,970 --> 00:56:11,163 People have birthdays every day, all over the world. 989 00:56:14,130 --> 00:56:15,510 Actually, it would be pretty cool 990 00:56:15,510 --> 00:56:17,360 if we matched on the same day, right? 991 00:56:19,270 --> 00:56:21,923 - Yeah. Totally. 992 00:56:26,020 --> 00:56:27,520 - Cool. 993 00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:28,941 - That's not what I meant. 994 00:56:31,570 --> 00:56:33,021 - Hats off, Mary. 995 00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:36,670 - Eddie hasn't been this hammered since college. 996 00:56:36,670 --> 00:56:40,000 Cheryl is gonna be pissed. 997 00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:43,000 - Angelo, I'm trying to tell you something. 998 00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,463 - Oh, I'm sorry. 999 00:56:46,820 --> 00:56:47,943 What's up? Come on. 1000 00:56:50,410 --> 00:56:52,660 - Oh god. Okay, here we go. 1001 00:57:00,190 --> 00:57:01,673 Angelo, I love you. 1002 00:57:02,510 --> 00:57:04,980 - Oh, I love you too, homie. 1003 00:57:04,980 --> 00:57:08,610 I'm really glad to have you as a part of my life. 1004 00:57:08,610 --> 00:57:10,940 - No, no, no, you dense mother... 1005 00:57:17,100 --> 00:57:18,730 I love you more than that. 1006 00:57:25,757 --> 00:57:26,860 Hey man! 1007 00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:28,483 - Eddie. 1008 00:57:28,483 --> 00:57:30,760 - It's gonna be your birthday soon. 1009 00:57:30,760 --> 00:57:32,490 - Eddie, can you give us a moment, bro? 1010 00:57:32,490 --> 00:57:35,853 - Shh, let me speak. 1011 00:57:38,506 --> 00:57:41,472 You're my best friend, do you know that? 1012 00:57:41,472 --> 00:57:43,023 Do you know you're my best friend? 1013 00:57:43,023 --> 00:57:43,856 - Yeah. 1014 00:57:43,856 --> 00:57:45,130 - And I love you, man. 1015 00:57:45,130 --> 00:57:47,530 But not in like a romantic way, 'cause that'd be weird. 1016 00:57:47,530 --> 00:57:49,084 Am I right, buddy? 1017 00:57:49,917 --> 00:57:50,750 - Okay. Yeah. 1018 00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:52,690 We're talking, so... 1019 00:57:52,690 --> 00:57:55,288 Can someone get Cheryl, please? Hello, Cheryl! 1020 00:57:55,288 --> 00:57:58,878 - Shh. Why you gotta poop on the party? 1021 00:57:58,878 --> 00:57:59,711 Shh. - Eddie. 1022 00:57:59,711 --> 00:58:02,140 Eddie, come on. 1023 00:58:02,140 --> 00:58:04,824 - I guess every party that's why we invite... 1024 00:58:04,824 --> 00:58:05,824 I'm good. 1025 00:58:08,118 --> 00:58:10,625 Every party needs a... 1026 00:58:10,625 --> 00:58:11,458 Eddie. 1027 00:58:11,458 --> 00:58:13,670 - Shh. Stop it, I'm good. 1028 00:58:13,670 --> 00:58:14,503 - Okay. 1029 00:58:14,503 --> 00:58:15,470 - Every party needs a... 1030 00:58:19,830 --> 00:58:22,080 - Eddie! Ugh, on the floor? 1031 00:58:24,780 --> 00:58:29,170 - Oh Eddie, I shouldn't have let him have my tequila. 1032 00:58:29,170 --> 00:58:30,427 You all right there, mate? 1033 00:58:30,427 --> 00:58:32,545 Holy mother of God. 1034 00:58:34,213 --> 00:58:36,546 - Oh my. I'll go get Cheryl. 1035 00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:40,170 - Oh Jeez. Oh, I can't stop staring. 1036 00:58:40,170 --> 00:58:41,220 Yikes, dude. 1037 00:58:42,973 --> 00:58:44,135 - You all right, bud? 1038 00:58:44,135 --> 00:58:45,557 Just let it out. 1039 00:58:45,557 --> 00:58:46,943 You'll be okay. 1040 00:58:49,230 --> 00:58:50,113 - Wait, Layla! 1041 00:58:53,570 --> 00:58:55,851 I'm gonna be sleeping on the couch for a week. 1042 00:58:55,851 --> 00:58:59,160 - I know that. What the hell did you eat? 1043 00:59:00,904 --> 00:59:01,908 You're sorry? 1044 00:59:01,908 --> 00:59:03,189 Yes, I'm sorry about all this. 1045 00:59:03,189 --> 00:59:05,187 What am I supposed to do with, I'm sorry? 1046 00:59:05,187 --> 00:59:06,562 I don't know what you're supposed to do. 1047 00:59:06,562 --> 00:59:08,007 I don't know what I'm supposed to do. 1048 00:59:08,007 --> 00:59:09,339 This isn't about you! 1049 00:59:09,339 --> 00:59:10,300 It's not about me? 1050 00:59:10,300 --> 00:59:12,910 - All you can think about is yourself. 1051 00:59:12,910 --> 00:59:16,019 I have no idea they're about to do to me. 1052 00:59:17,499 --> 00:59:19,319 You'll be fine! 1053 00:59:19,319 --> 00:59:20,715 What are they gonna do to me! 1054 00:59:20,715 --> 00:59:21,548 I'll be fine? 1055 00:59:21,548 --> 00:59:23,851 You haven't thought about how much this hurts me? 1056 00:59:29,503 --> 00:59:30,653 Are you okay? 1057 00:59:31,770 --> 00:59:33,960 - Depends on if the footage is useful. 1058 00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:35,248 - It is. 1059 00:59:35,248 --> 00:59:37,450 - Then I'm fucking peaches. 1060 00:59:37,450 --> 00:59:40,130 - So Hunter will leak the video in the morning, 1061 00:59:40,130 --> 00:59:42,180 and we'll blur your face off for privacy. 1062 00:59:45,110 --> 00:59:47,233 A matched man fucking his ex on camera. 1063 00:59:48,830 --> 00:59:52,320 Perfect. You are a real bitch for doing this. 1064 00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:53,763 - Yeah, you're one to talk. 1065 00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:56,863 - Do you want us to blur out Michael's face too? 1066 00:59:58,030 --> 01:00:02,413 - No, fuck him. Let him burn. 1067 01:00:14,610 --> 01:00:16,750 - How's that sophomore year thing working out for you, mate? 1068 01:00:16,750 --> 01:00:21,430 - Oh my God, Mary, shut up and let me be miserable in peace. 1069 01:00:21,430 --> 01:00:22,263 - Never! 1070 01:00:23,397 --> 01:00:24,230 - I hate you. 1071 01:00:24,230 --> 01:00:26,253 - You love me. 1072 01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:35,067 - Really, Mary, again? 1073 01:00:36,013 --> 01:00:37,943 - Listen, birds gotta fly. 1074 01:00:40,710 --> 01:00:42,953 Give me those, they look better on me. 1075 01:00:44,060 --> 01:00:45,443 - Why is the light so loud? 1076 01:00:53,640 --> 01:00:55,277 - How are you feeling? 1077 01:00:59,284 --> 01:01:00,203 That bad, huh? 1078 01:01:00,203 --> 01:01:01,036 - Hmm-hmm. 1079 01:01:03,950 --> 01:01:05,340 Okay. I deserve that. 1080 01:01:05,340 --> 01:01:06,173 - Yeah, you did. 1081 01:01:10,714 --> 01:01:12,881 Aw Eddie, my sweet dimwit. 1082 01:01:18,430 --> 01:01:22,623 - I'm sorry. I know I really blew it tonight, 1083 01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:28,660 and I know that I can maybe be a little bit childish. 1084 01:01:28,660 --> 01:01:32,343 - What, you? No, I hadn't noticed. 1085 01:01:34,310 --> 01:01:35,223 - I can do better. 1086 01:01:37,954 --> 01:01:39,843 - Well, we need you to. 1087 01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,590 We're gonna have people counting on us. 1088 01:01:43,590 --> 01:01:45,350 - I know, the special. I'm gonna- 1089 01:01:45,350 --> 01:01:47,743 - I'm not talking about the special. 1090 01:01:57,980 --> 01:01:58,853 - Wait, are you? 1091 01:01:59,810 --> 01:02:00,643 That means we're gonna- 1092 01:02:00,643 --> 01:02:03,433 - Yeah. 1093 01:02:04,270 --> 01:02:05,173 - When did you find out? 1094 01:02:05,173 --> 01:02:06,640 - Like a month and a half ago. 1095 01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:08,470 - And you waited this long to tell me? 1096 01:02:08,470 --> 01:02:10,970 - I mean, we hadn't ever really talked about having kids, 1097 01:02:10,970 --> 01:02:12,410 so I didn't wanna... 1098 01:02:12,410 --> 01:02:16,583 - This life, our life, we're a team, 1099 01:02:16,583 --> 01:02:18,373 and I won't leave no matter what. 1100 01:02:21,867 --> 01:02:22,750 We need to tell everybody. 1101 01:02:22,750 --> 01:02:24,430 - Whoa, Eddie. 1102 01:02:24,430 --> 01:02:26,673 Time and place, it's Angelo's night. 1103 01:02:26,673 --> 01:02:28,563 - You're right, I got over excited. 1104 01:02:30,011 --> 01:02:31,310 You're gonna be a mom. 1105 01:02:31,310 --> 01:02:33,459 No, you're going to be a MILF. 1106 01:02:33,459 --> 01:02:35,819 You couldn't help yourself, could you? 1107 01:02:48,990 --> 01:02:51,970 Congratulations, Angelo, it's your soul day. 1108 01:02:51,970 --> 01:02:53,693 Please stand by while we process your results. 1109 01:02:53,693 --> 01:02:54,893 - Here we go. 1110 01:02:55,813 --> 01:03:00,813 - 10, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. 1111 01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:17,043 - Oh bloody hell. 1112 01:03:17,990 --> 01:03:19,980 Congratulations, Martha. 1113 01:03:19,980 --> 01:03:20,910 Your soulmate has been found. 1114 01:03:20,910 --> 01:03:21,980 - Her name's Martha? 1115 01:03:21,980 --> 01:03:22,813 - Wait, what's going on? 1116 01:03:22,813 --> 01:03:25,370 Please go to the app to view your results. 1117 01:03:25,370 --> 01:03:26,203 - You? 1118 01:03:27,410 --> 01:03:28,243 - Me. 1119 01:03:31,100 --> 01:03:31,933 This is great, buddy. 1120 01:03:31,933 --> 01:03:35,590 You're gonna be family for real now, right? 1121 01:03:35,590 --> 01:03:38,080 It's gonna be great, we get to roll, 1122 01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:43,080 we to hang out all the time, go on occasions, right? 1123 01:03:47,452 --> 01:03:48,750 It's going to be... 1124 01:03:50,092 --> 01:03:51,330 It's not gonna be great, is it? 1125 01:03:53,780 --> 01:03:54,613 - Wow. 1126 01:03:56,330 --> 01:03:58,640 - What a mighty turn of events this was. 1127 01:03:58,640 --> 01:03:59,990 Congratulations? 1128 01:04:00,890 --> 01:04:03,403 - I guess I'm moving to America. 1129 01:04:04,700 --> 01:04:06,543 - I guess you're gonna be married. 1130 01:04:16,220 --> 01:04:17,700 - We're gonna be parents. 1131 01:04:17,700 --> 01:04:20,000 Time and place. - What? 1132 01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:20,833 - What? 1133 01:05:03,323 --> 01:05:05,801 a thought on his mind 1134 01:05:05,801 --> 01:05:08,241 the feeling ain't right 1135 01:05:18,344 --> 01:05:21,128 that ain't paved yet 1136 01:05:23,051 --> 01:05:25,374 like a wish and a had 1137 01:05:25,374 --> 01:05:27,805 like the future or past 1138 01:05:41,717 --> 01:05:43,833 - She probably needs time, mate. 1139 01:05:51,525 --> 01:05:55,330 - You and I should probably have a talk. 1140 01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:07,240 - All right, so how many of you guys have girlfriends? 1141 01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:08,520 Trick question. 1142 01:06:08,520 --> 01:06:11,080 Look at you, members of our prosperous society. 1143 01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:12,170 Except for that one guy in the back, 1144 01:06:12,170 --> 01:06:14,940 I see that hand, put it down. 1145 01:06:14,940 --> 01:06:18,260 Who let him in? Every night, man, every show. 1146 01:06:18,260 --> 01:06:19,860 We all know that's against the law, 1147 01:06:19,860 --> 01:06:22,350 but let's put it in perspective. 1148 01:06:22,350 --> 01:06:24,880 This gracious system gives ugly schmucks 1149 01:06:25,970 --> 01:06:27,280 a fighting chance to score a 10, 1150 01:06:27,280 --> 01:06:29,557 and boy did it work out in my favor. 1151 01:06:33,858 --> 01:06:37,740 I haven't told the usual jokes about my wife. 1152 01:06:39,020 --> 01:06:41,530 Comedy, much like life, it grows with us, 1153 01:06:41,530 --> 01:06:42,883 the stories we tell. 1154 01:06:43,740 --> 01:06:45,490 I can tell some of you are expecting 1155 01:06:45,490 --> 01:06:47,810 more size splitting laughter but... 1156 01:06:47,810 --> 01:06:48,965 Are you having a good time tonight? 1157 01:06:52,095 --> 01:06:54,187 I'm glad you don't think I sold out. 1158 01:06:56,350 --> 01:06:58,250 I'm really excited to be a dad, 1159 01:06:58,250 --> 01:07:00,823 like, almost way too excited, man. 1160 01:07:02,590 --> 01:07:07,470 The party, my buddy's birthday, changed my life, 1161 01:07:07,470 --> 01:07:11,203 changed a lot of people's lives as you heard about tonight. 1162 01:07:14,720 --> 01:07:17,173 God, I love my wife so much. 1163 01:07:20,020 --> 01:07:22,950 And thinking about the amazing journey it's going to be 1164 01:07:22,950 --> 01:07:24,972 to be a dad... 1165 01:07:28,300 --> 01:07:29,781 I hope I have a daughter. 1166 01:07:29,781 --> 01:07:32,160 Like I wanna dress up like the dark night, 1167 01:07:32,160 --> 01:07:33,840 and just angrily questioned her soulmate 1168 01:07:33,840 --> 01:07:34,673 when she brings him home. 1169 01:07:34,673 --> 01:07:36,348 Like, "Where are you taking her?" 1170 01:07:38,610 --> 01:07:39,558 Father-in-law. 1171 01:07:43,420 --> 01:07:45,560 Next week we're going to my buddy's wedding. 1172 01:07:45,560 --> 01:07:47,140 I promised Angela I wouldn't name drop him 1173 01:07:47,140 --> 01:07:49,470 during the taping, but I really can't wait 1174 01:07:49,470 --> 01:07:51,780 to make a fool out of myself. 1175 01:07:51,780 --> 01:07:55,413 So my other friend, Layla, hasn't gotten matched yet. 1176 01:07:56,900 --> 01:07:59,310 She moved out a few days after the party, 1177 01:07:59,310 --> 01:08:01,650 while Angelo was at work, she did... 1178 01:08:01,650 --> 01:08:04,847 The kids have a phrase for it, she babcocked him, 1179 01:08:04,847 --> 01:08:06,347 and we haven't seen her since. 1180 01:08:10,550 --> 01:08:13,320 - Hey stranger, let's be friends. 1181 01:08:19,640 --> 01:08:22,293 - We found her car a few weeks later abandoned. 1182 01:08:25,866 --> 01:08:28,330 I know you came here to laugh, 1183 01:08:28,330 --> 01:08:31,150 so why have I told you this story 1184 01:08:31,150 --> 01:08:32,600 for the last hour and a half? 1185 01:08:34,240 --> 01:08:38,323 Well, 'cause life isn't just laughter, 1186 01:08:39,440 --> 01:08:42,163 it's love, it's tears, it's joy. 1187 01:08:43,220 --> 01:08:46,280 We need to keep laughing even in the bad times. 1188 01:08:46,280 --> 01:08:50,610 Don't get me wrong, I worry about my friend, but if I worry, 1189 01:08:50,610 --> 01:08:52,620 sit here and cry, it's gonna spiral. 1190 01:08:52,620 --> 01:08:54,973 I'm not gonna feel any better, but laughter, 1191 01:08:56,840 --> 01:09:00,400 that's what gets me through it. 1192 01:09:00,400 --> 01:09:02,640 - Mrs Parker, the theater owner was wondering 1193 01:09:02,640 --> 01:09:05,163 if you and Mr. Parker were free for a drink afterwards. 1194 01:09:05,163 --> 01:09:06,080 - Oh, well. 1195 01:09:07,670 --> 01:09:08,840 - Oh my god, I didn't know. 1196 01:09:08,840 --> 01:09:10,870 - No worries, we would love to get a club soda 1197 01:09:10,870 --> 01:09:11,703 with the owner afterwards. 1198 01:09:11,703 --> 01:09:13,655 - Okay, great. 1199 01:09:13,655 --> 01:09:14,488 When are you due? 1200 01:09:14,488 --> 01:09:16,707 - Shh. This is the best part. 1201 01:09:16,707 --> 01:09:18,107 - And we created the system. 1202 01:09:20,610 --> 01:09:22,863 But if you take those little imperfections, 1203 01:09:24,280 --> 01:09:25,553 and if you're open to it, 1204 01:09:28,080 --> 01:09:30,373 it makes all the love in the world possible. 1205 01:09:33,050 --> 01:09:34,920 My name is Eddie P, thank you so much 1206 01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:36,789 for coming to my special, 1207 01:09:36,789 --> 01:09:39,737 keep laughing, keep loving, goodnight. 1208 01:09:50,572 --> 01:09:52,155 What are you doing? 1209 01:09:56,930 --> 01:09:58,023 I made this. 1210 01:09:59,714 --> 01:10:01,640 This is my best friend, Angelo, 1211 01:10:01,640 --> 01:10:03,954 he said not to namedrop him during the special 1212 01:10:03,954 --> 01:10:05,504 but that's him. 1213 01:10:48,681 --> 01:10:52,582 underneath our feet 1214 01:10:52,582 --> 01:10:56,814 chest as you watch me bleed 1215 01:11:00,240 --> 01:11:02,099 - Welcome back to your listeners, to... 1216 01:11:02,099 --> 01:11:03,790 We're gonna take a side note off of all this 1217 01:11:03,790 --> 01:11:05,580 depressing stuff that's been going on lately. 1218 01:11:05,580 --> 01:11:07,990 We've got something a little more fun. 1219 01:11:07,990 --> 01:11:09,420 Anyway, joining me in the studio today 1220 01:11:09,420 --> 01:11:11,100 are two people who need no introduction, 1221 01:11:11,100 --> 01:11:13,590 but we're gonna give them one anyway. 1222 01:11:13,590 --> 01:11:16,580 He's an Award-winning standup comedian, new dad. 1223 01:11:16,580 --> 01:11:19,460 His 90 minutes special "Tequila Flavored Cigarettes" 1224 01:11:19,460 --> 01:11:23,600 drops on home release and VOD this week, Eddie P. 1225 01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:25,620 And the brains behind the whole operation, 1226 01:11:25,620 --> 01:11:27,670 she's a mother, an author, 1227 01:11:27,670 --> 01:11:32,140 her new book, "Behind Every Dimwit, Mother, Manager, Wife", 1228 01:11:32,140 --> 01:11:35,246 just became a bestseller, the incomparable, Cheryl P. 1229 01:11:35,246 --> 01:11:36,110 - Thank you. 1230 01:11:36,110 --> 01:11:38,550 - So what is up, you guys? You have had a hell of a year. 1231 01:11:38,550 --> 01:11:43,060 You just got a kid, I mean, the book, tours, 1232 01:11:43,060 --> 01:11:44,850 you guys have been busy. 1233 01:11:44,850 --> 01:11:45,850 So how's parenthood? 1234 01:11:46,990 --> 01:11:48,660 - Do we have the permit for the show? 1235 01:11:48,660 --> 01:11:49,550 Oh, yeah. 1236 01:11:49,550 --> 01:11:51,860 - Really intense shit, actually. 1237 01:11:51,860 --> 01:11:53,470 Like no, like literal shit, 1238 01:11:53,470 --> 01:11:57,902 that girl, our baby girl, she shits like a champ. 1239 01:11:57,902 --> 01:12:00,880 - Yeah, we are so tired. 1240 01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:03,020 - She's more tired, 'cause you know she does everything. 1241 01:12:03,020 --> 01:12:04,400 - Cold, hard facts. 1242 01:12:04,400 --> 01:12:05,690 - Everyone who knows us knows 1243 01:12:05,690 --> 01:12:08,220 that she does all the heavy lifting in this relationship. 1244 01:12:08,220 --> 01:12:10,170 - Oh yeah. I mean, speaking of lifting, 1245 01:12:10,170 --> 01:12:12,030 Eddie, you're looking swole. 1246 01:12:12,030 --> 01:12:12,863 - Thank you. 1247 01:12:13,810 --> 01:12:15,420 I don't know how many people know 1248 01:12:15,420 --> 01:12:17,586 but before we shot the special, 1249 01:12:17,586 --> 01:12:18,560 a few weeks before we shot the special, 1250 01:12:18,560 --> 01:12:19,393 I just quit drinking. 1251 01:12:19,393 --> 01:12:22,010 So my instinct was to eat a lot of food, 1252 01:12:22,010 --> 01:12:24,313 so I went to the gym instead. 1253 01:12:26,189 --> 01:12:27,740 - There you go. 1254 01:12:27,740 --> 01:12:30,890 And I got to ask about Angelo and Mary, how are they doing? 1255 01:12:30,890 --> 01:12:32,750 - Well, they just went on their honeymoon. 1256 01:12:32,750 --> 01:12:35,550 They're kind of just settling in, in Angelo's place now. 1257 01:12:36,438 --> 01:12:37,271 - Oh, they gon' have kids. 1258 01:12:39,630 --> 01:12:40,463 - I hope not. 1259 01:12:41,670 --> 01:12:42,930 What did you guys do on your honeymoon? 1260 01:12:42,930 --> 01:12:43,790 What'd you get up to? 1261 01:12:43,790 --> 01:12:45,516 - Oh God. Do you wanna? 1262 01:12:45,516 --> 01:12:48,390 - Well, I mean, as you guys know, when we first matched 1263 01:12:48,390 --> 01:12:53,100 I wooed her with mini golf and then we got married. 1264 01:12:53,100 --> 01:12:58,100 - Yeah. Well, we went to this tropical resort. 1265 01:12:58,140 --> 01:13:01,810 It was absolutely gorgeous, like, spa white, sandy beaches, 1266 01:13:01,810 --> 01:13:04,040 a pool, stunning. 1267 01:13:04,040 --> 01:13:05,780 - We fucked that place up. 1268 01:13:05,780 --> 01:13:06,897 - Yeah, we did. 1269 01:13:06,897 --> 01:13:09,173 - Oh my God. We terrorized that place. 1270 01:13:10,030 --> 01:13:11,400 The guests, we were... 1271 01:13:11,400 --> 01:13:12,470 They will never have us back. 1272 01:13:12,470 --> 01:13:14,080 What did you do? 1273 01:13:14,080 --> 01:13:16,910 - There was this beautiful mosaic pool, 1274 01:13:16,910 --> 01:13:19,740 it was like all tiles, and like shiny and gorgeous. 1275 01:13:19,740 --> 01:13:22,810 We floated two giant, fake, chunky poops in there 1276 01:13:22,810 --> 01:13:25,570 and just swam around like nothing was happening. 1277 01:13:25,570 --> 01:13:27,590 - We were walking to the hot tub one night 1278 01:13:27,590 --> 01:13:29,630 and this waiter had a lobster platter 1279 01:13:29,630 --> 01:13:31,210 and I just took the lobster off of it, 1280 01:13:31,210 --> 01:13:32,970 and we got in the hot tub. 1281 01:13:32,970 --> 01:13:35,670 And so we're sitting there and I just posed the lobster 1282 01:13:35,670 --> 01:13:37,613 in the hot tub like he was just chilling, 1283 01:13:38,989 --> 01:13:41,720 and then we got up and just left him there. 1284 01:13:41,720 --> 01:13:43,260 - Oh. And then the beach. 1285 01:13:43,260 --> 01:13:46,730 We went to this beach, took off all of our clothes, 1286 01:13:46,730 --> 01:13:49,150 completely naked and it's not a nude beach. 1287 01:13:49,150 --> 01:13:52,330 - And then we went to the nude beach and wore parkas. 1288 01:13:52,330 --> 01:13:53,890 Oh yes. 1289 01:13:53,890 --> 01:13:55,438 - We're great parents, by the way. 1290 01:13:55,438 --> 01:13:56,856 - Yeah. 1291 01:13:57,689 --> 01:13:59,880 . 1292 01:13:59,880 --> 01:14:02,253 - No, Mary's in there with her. 1293 01:14:02,253 --> 01:14:05,000 - Hold on. So I gotta ask, what does Mary do? 1294 01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:07,370 - She does video co... 1295 01:14:08,660 --> 01:14:11,180 Apparently Mary is not in there, 1296 01:14:11,180 --> 01:14:13,150 so we should probably figure that out. 1297 01:14:13,150 --> 01:14:14,680 Let's take a break and we'll figure it out. 1298 01:14:14,680 --> 01:14:16,379 Okay. Yeah, thank you. 1299 01:14:16,379 --> 01:14:17,715 - Thank you so much for having us. 1300 01:14:17,715 --> 01:14:20,339 Thanks for coming on. 1301 01:14:20,339 --> 01:14:22,550 That reminds me guys, smash that like and subscribe button, 1302 01:14:22,550 --> 01:14:24,292 and make love to the notifications. 1303 01:14:27,555 --> 01:14:31,837 the light, the light 1304 01:14:36,259 --> 01:14:41,259 the fright, the fright 1305 01:14:47,600 --> 01:14:50,295 - Here, let me help you with that. 1306 01:14:50,295 --> 01:14:51,128 - Oh shit! 1307 01:14:52,521 --> 01:14:53,500 - Lets cut that. 1308 01:14:53,500 --> 01:14:54,333 - Hey. 1309 01:14:54,333 --> 01:14:56,790 - This place is pretty wild, Layla. 1310 01:14:56,790 --> 01:14:59,144 Scene 19. 1311 01:14:59,144 --> 01:15:00,844 Scene five, action. 1312 01:15:02,570 --> 01:15:04,353 - This place is pretty wild, Layla. 1313 01:15:20,762 --> 01:15:21,962 Take two. 1314 01:15:35,774 --> 01:15:36,814 - What's her name? 1315 01:15:36,814 --> 01:15:37,647 - April. 1316 01:16:00,259 --> 01:16:01,637 - What is mine? 1317 01:16:13,479 --> 01:16:14,420 - That's not gonna work. 1318 01:16:14,420 --> 01:16:15,505 The house is making noises. 1319 01:16:15,505 --> 01:16:17,641 - We've got the fucking closet from "The Conjuring" 1320 01:16:17,641 --> 01:16:18,837 opening right now. 1321 01:16:19,865 --> 01:16:21,728 Hey, we should... 1322 01:16:21,728 --> 01:16:24,978 It's okay, take it back. 1323 01:16:27,295 --> 01:16:28,128 - Fuck! 1324 01:16:32,913 --> 01:16:33,933 I don't know how to do it. 1325 01:16:33,933 --> 01:16:36,356 I have to use my other hand to open the door. 1326 01:16:44,742 --> 01:16:46,963 - Oh, I like that.