1 00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:21,200 ♪ Now let me welcome everybody to the Wild Wild West ♪ 2 00:00:21,290 --> 00:00:23,540 ♪ A state that's untouchable like Eliot Ness ♪ 3 00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:26,040 ♪ The track hits your eardrum like a slug to your chest ♪ 4 00:00:26,130 --> 00:00:28,790 ♪ Pack a vest for your Jimmy in the city of sex ♪ 5 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,630 ♪ We in that Sunshine State where the bomb-ass hemp be ♪ 6 00:00:31,710 --> 00:00:34,130 ♪ The state where you never find a dance floor empty ♪ 7 00:00:34,220 --> 00:00:36,260 - ♪ California ♪ - ♪ California ♪ 8 00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:38,800 - ♪ Knows how to party ♪ - ♪ Knows how to party ♪ 9 00:00:38,890 --> 00:00:41,640 - ♪ California ♪ - ♪ West Coast ♪ 10 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,190 It's another beautiful day. 11 00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:47,100 Eighty-two degrees of opportunity. 12 00:00:47,190 --> 00:00:51,070 The Japanese Club's, uh, "Say Sayonara to Gluten" bake sale 13 00:00:51,150 --> 00:00:53,360 is going on to raise awareness 14 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,780 for the whitewashing of Asian roles... 15 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:58,030 uh, in Hollywood. 16 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:00,370 So let's all bite into some mochi 17 00:01:00,450 --> 00:01:05,660 and give the Japanese Club a special arigato for our friends with... 18 00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:07,920 our friends with celiac disease. 19 00:01:08,420 --> 00:01:11,300 Homecoming tickets go on sale this weekend. 20 00:01:11,380 --> 00:01:15,670 This year's theme: “Ring, Ring. Who's Calling? Bling, Bling.” 21 00:01:16,180 --> 00:01:19,430 Remember, every day is a chance to be great. As Jay-Z says, 22 00:01:19,930 --> 00:01:22,470 "Don't go with the flow. Be the flow." 23 00:01:23,810 --> 00:01:25,020 Thank you, Principal Burr, 24 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,650 for those inspiring words. 25 00:01:28,150 --> 00:01:31,230 Uh, where were we? Jaden Thompson McGee. 26 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:33,070 - Present. - Jaden Unger. 27 00:01:33,150 --> 00:01:35,070 - Yeah. - Jaden Hoyles. 28 00:01:35,150 --> 00:01:36,740 New phone, who dis? 29 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,530 Josh Wheeler? 30 00:01:42,990 --> 00:01:43,990 Wheeler? 31 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,040 Wheeler? 32 00:01:48,420 --> 00:01:51,590 Hey, that's me. Josh, not Jaden. 33 00:01:52,130 --> 00:01:54,260 There are, like, 20 Jadens in this school. 34 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,550 Parents think that they're being unique, but it's an army of vanilla. 35 00:01:58,630 --> 00:02:01,640 Not like I'm anything special. I'm a C student. 36 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:05,220 C as in “crappy.” C as in “cannot catch a break.” 37 00:02:05,850 --> 00:02:08,440 C as in “let's just see how bad things are.” 38 00:02:08,940 --> 00:02:12,400 Climate change deniers are standing waist-deep in hurricane water. 39 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:16,610 Corporations make billions off of nerd culture, making outsiders like... 40 00:02:16,690 --> 00:02:19,780 the new insiders, leaving the truly odd with... 41 00:02:19,860 --> 00:02:21,530 no way to self-identify. 42 00:02:21,620 --> 00:02:23,740 And little dictators with big egos? 43 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:28,290 Well, they can launch a nuke with a tweet! And then one day... Whoa! 44 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:30,040 They did. 45 00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:32,210 So whatever your problems were... 46 00:02:32,290 --> 00:02:34,500 Dad won't spring for a larger data plan? 47 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,010 Mom won't buy that adorbs top at Urban Outfitters? 48 00:02:40,090 --> 00:02:41,800 It's all baby food now. 49 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,440 Now I'm an A. A as in “awesome,” 50 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,860 A as in “the apocalypse was the best thing that ever happened.” 51 00:02:55,770 --> 00:02:57,900 A as in “all you people need to buckle up.” 52 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,950 'Cause I wanna show you just how sweet the end of the world... 53 00:03:01,740 --> 00:03:03,030 actually is. 54 00:03:15,590 --> 00:03:18,920 So what's life like during the apocalypse? In a word? 55 00:03:20,510 --> 00:03:22,430 Extra. Be the flow. 56 00:03:22,930 --> 00:03:26,010 My digs belonged to some Armenian gangster, but he's gone, 57 00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:28,930 so I invoked the ancient rites where finders are keepers 58 00:03:29,020 --> 00:03:30,430 and losers are weepers. 59 00:03:31,730 --> 00:03:34,100 It's one of the only rules left because there are no adults. 60 00:03:34,190 --> 00:03:35,940 Everyone over the age of 18 is gone. 61 00:03:36,020 --> 00:03:37,570 Well... mostly. 62 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,450 The bombs must've been biological. 63 00:03:42,030 --> 00:03:43,860 Most adults melted into goo, 64 00:03:44,660 --> 00:03:48,160 and the rest turned into what we like to call "Ghoulies." 65 00:03:49,450 --> 00:03:51,250 She hasn't texted me back. 66 00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:53,250 I hear the new David Chang restaurant 67 00:03:53,330 --> 00:03:55,210 is supposed to be awesome-sauce. 68 00:03:55,290 --> 00:03:58,250 I should cancel my Facebook account. It's too divisive. 69 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:02,260 I know it seems like they're having a conversation, but they're not. 70 00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:04,696 They only say the last stupid thing that they were thinking. 71 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,640 But that doesn't mean that they're harmless. 72 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:08,930 They will rip your head off and chug your blood. 73 00:04:09,010 --> 00:04:10,640 I mean, look at this guy. 74 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,270 It's like Prime Rib Night at the Golden Corral down there. 75 00:04:17,230 --> 00:04:20,030 But mostly, life is like living in Grand Theft Auto... 76 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,530 ...except better. 77 00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:31,330 ♪ Take off Let me see you take off ♪ 78 00:04:32,290 --> 00:04:33,910 Woo-hoo! 79 00:04:35,330 --> 00:04:37,460 ♪ Light 'em up, time up ♪ 80 00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:39,710 ♪ Take a shot, get a tab, run it up ♪ 81 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,590 ♪ One round ain't enough, double up ♪ 82 00:04:41,670 --> 00:04:43,720 ♪ It's going down like three, two, one ♪ 83 00:04:44,220 --> 00:04:46,340 ♪ Adrenaline, whole crew comin' in ♪ 84 00:04:46,430 --> 00:04:48,640 ♪ Charged up, guess who plug 'em in ♪ 85 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,430 ♪ You can't win Shocked 'em again ♪ 86 00:04:50,510 --> 00:04:52,850 ♪ You can't win Shocked 'em again ♪ 87 00:04:53,930 --> 00:04:55,060 ♪ Tell me when to go ♪ 88 00:04:55,140 --> 00:04:56,980 ♪ Charged up And my crew out of control... ♪ 89 00:04:57,060 --> 00:04:58,400 Oh, crap. 90 00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:04,860 A Yamashiro katana, 91 00:05:04,950 --> 00:05:06,780 Honshū Province. 92 00:05:08,070 --> 00:05:10,490 Television taught me every good sword has a name. 93 00:05:10,580 --> 00:05:14,790 I mean, Excalibur, Vorpal, Longclaw, Sting... Needle! 94 00:05:16,870 --> 00:05:18,420 I shall name mine... 95 00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:21,500 Sam. 96 00:05:34,890 --> 00:05:37,270 Ever since the bombs fell, animals have been mutating. 97 00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:39,230 That used to be a pug. 98 00:05:39,310 --> 00:05:40,480 So messed up, right? 99 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,280 No. No! 100 00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:46,780 I really liked that place too. 101 00:05:49,490 --> 00:05:51,780 So when shopping for a new home, you have to ask yourself, 102 00:05:51,870 --> 00:05:54,870 “Can I build a minefield, or a moat, or a drawbridge to protect it?” 103 00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:56,500 No? Move on. 104 00:06:04,590 --> 00:06:08,130 Also, don't pick one with an unexploded missile in the front yard. 105 00:06:08,930 --> 00:06:10,260 That's a deal-breaker. 106 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,250 Psst. 107 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,000 Shh. 108 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:43,290 Baron Triumph. 109 00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:47,880 Help me! Anyone! 110 00:06:48,340 --> 00:06:49,970 Please, help me! 111 00:06:50,050 --> 00:06:51,470 Please, help! 112 00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:57,930 That turd lord catches kids and purees them into hummus. 113 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,850 The apocalypse didn't eliminate the assholes. 114 00:07:01,650 --> 00:07:02,860 It made them worse. 115 00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:06,690 We have to rise above. 116 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,240 Every day is a chance to be great. 117 00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:11,860 Be the flow. 118 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,750 Ghoulies, depraved flesh eaters on motorcycles, 119 00:07:18,830 --> 00:07:20,830 and mutated animals aren't the only threats. 120 00:07:20,910 --> 00:07:23,510 The bombs dropped six months ago, and all of the kids who survived 121 00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:25,880 have more or less maintained their circle of friends. 122 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:28,170 Among the tribes are the Disciples of Kardashia, 123 00:07:28,260 --> 00:07:30,550 the 4-H Club, the Jocks, the STEM Punks, 124 00:07:30,630 --> 00:07:33,800 and countless other small tribes occupying their own territory. 125 00:07:33,890 --> 00:07:36,430 The borders shift, so it's best to stay in your own lane. 126 00:07:42,690 --> 00:07:44,190 Now, that's promising. 127 00:07:44,610 --> 00:07:47,190 East-facing windows, nice location. 128 00:07:47,610 --> 00:07:49,650 And Jesus makes a great security system. 129 00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:01,790 Damn. 130 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:03,920 Some kids already called dibs. 131 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:08,590 Rule three: keep to yourself. I've avoided everyone since the boom. 132 00:08:08,670 --> 00:08:11,670 Some kids... are worse than Ghoulies. 133 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,430 Things just got different. 134 00:08:39,330 --> 00:08:40,330 Josh! 135 00:08:42,910 --> 00:08:44,120 - Sam. - Josh! 136 00:08:45,870 --> 00:08:46,880 Josh! 137 00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:48,250 Josh! 138 00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:51,750 Lookie here! 139 00:08:52,670 --> 00:08:53,670 A party crasher. 140 00:08:54,420 --> 00:08:57,550 Hey, bros, what does the Golf Team do 141 00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,720 to those who crash our party? 142 00:09:13,150 --> 00:09:14,240 Whoa! 143 00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:16,150 Easy. 144 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,410 I heard a scream and thought there might be some trouble. 145 00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:24,266 - What're you doing back there? - We're doing none of your business. 146 00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:26,670 Buzz off, fly, unless you want to die. 147 00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:28,920 Rhyming? Really, Jerry? Really? 148 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,340 Just kinda roll with it, Terry. 149 00:09:30,420 --> 00:09:32,260 You sound like a knob with a dictionary, Jerry. 150 00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:34,090 We're on the same team, Gary. 151 00:09:34,170 --> 00:09:36,800 - Yo, Gary's just triggered, Barry. - Enough! I make the threats. 152 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,050 I'm team captain. It says so on my shirt. 153 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,350 And I say one of you doesn't belong here. 154 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:45,980 Gary, Barry, Jerry, Larry and... what's your name? 155 00:09:46,850 --> 00:09:48,270 - Josh. - Tennis Josh? 156 00:09:48,350 --> 00:09:49,706 - No. - Little Josh with the big truck? 157 00:09:49,730 --> 00:09:51,480 - No. - Gay Josh or Other Gay Josh? 158 00:09:51,570 --> 00:09:54,110 Just Josh, okay? You guys don't know me. 159 00:09:54,190 --> 00:09:58,030 Well, now you're Wasting-Our-Time- And-Got-Himself-Dead Josh! 160 00:09:58,610 --> 00:10:01,120 Whoa, damn! 161 00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:04,790 Soon-To-Be-Dead Josh has got himself some brass. 162 00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:07,080 Most scabs possum, but you... 163 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,170 Oh, you are interesting, bro. 164 00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:11,080 I've got a killer origin story. 165 00:10:11,790 --> 00:10:15,550 It's got revenge, and drama, and fights, and love. 166 00:10:16,670 --> 00:10:17,840 True love. 167 00:10:22,550 --> 00:10:24,430 We've been sans Snap for months. 168 00:10:24,510 --> 00:10:25,640 Entertain us... 169 00:10:26,180 --> 00:10:27,730 and you just might live. 170 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,230 Okay, my story? 171 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,480 I moved here before the start of school. 172 00:10:52,210 --> 00:10:55,130 - You wanted to see me, Principal Burr? - Oh, Josh. 173 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,170 Josh, come on in. 174 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:02,640 Have a seat. 175 00:11:20,150 --> 00:11:21,530 Hmm. 176 00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:26,660 How's the move from Toronto? 177 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:28,700 Uh, yeah, good. 178 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:30,790 Hmm. You fitting in okay? 179 00:11:30,870 --> 00:11:32,790 Yeah. Good. 180 00:11:33,630 --> 00:11:34,670 Like your classes? 181 00:11:35,590 --> 00:11:37,710 Yeah. Good. 182 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,680 Are you a fan of the walnut, Josh? 183 00:11:44,550 --> 00:11:47,970 California is one of the biggest growers of nuts in the world. 184 00:11:48,350 --> 00:11:50,730 We're not all celebrities and sunshine. 185 00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:53,730 I know it's more on-trend to like almonds right now. 186 00:11:53,810 --> 00:11:57,820 Can't go into a Starbucks without somebody asking for a splash of almond milk. 187 00:11:58,440 --> 00:11:59,690 And cashews? 188 00:11:59,780 --> 00:12:03,490 The cashew is a cross-cultural masterpiece. 189 00:12:04,030 --> 00:12:06,530 But for me, it's the walnut, 190 00:12:06,620 --> 00:12:08,160 the healthiest food in the world. 191 00:12:08,740 --> 00:12:11,790 Filled with Vitamin E, phytonutrients... 192 00:12:12,290 --> 00:12:15,130 Brain food, they call it. And that's all well and good, but... 193 00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:16,840 you know why I like it? 194 00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:18,920 Uh, why? 195 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,470 Because the toughest shell can be cracked. 196 00:12:24,130 --> 00:12:26,300 - Are those for me? - These? Oh, no. 197 00:12:26,390 --> 00:12:27,640 No, no. 198 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,970 No, these are plastic. 199 00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:33,940 No, this is a nut-free campus. I'm sorry I wasn't clear about that. 200 00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:37,190 Justin Salts, Terrence Markazian, 201 00:12:37,270 --> 00:12:38,320 Erika Kim... 202 00:12:38,730 --> 00:12:40,780 they even smell a nut, it's death. 203 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,490 Hospital trip, the whole thing. 204 00:12:42,570 --> 00:12:44,530 Is that an allegory? 205 00:12:44,610 --> 00:12:45,990 It's a metaphor. 206 00:12:46,070 --> 00:12:48,830 A metaphor more. Moving isn't easy. 207 00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:50,660 Not knowing anybody. 208 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,370 Well, now you know me. 209 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,540 Are you trying to bore us to death? 210 00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,540 Yo, your story is tired, bro. 211 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,550 - Five percent Rotten Tomato, if that. - I don't get it. 212 00:13:03,010 --> 00:13:06,180 How did a noob like you survive out here for six months all on his lonesome? 213 00:13:06,260 --> 00:13:10,390 I can fish, hunt, rig solar panels, and purify water from my own urine, 214 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,310 which is even grosser than it sounds. 215 00:13:13,390 --> 00:13:16,020 - What are you, MacGyver? - No. 216 00:13:17,060 --> 00:13:17,980 I'm Canadian. 217 00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:19,820 You're a value added. 218 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,570 We could use someone like you. 219 00:13:22,110 --> 00:13:23,360 I don't know how to do golf. 220 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,530 I was thinking more of like, hmm... 221 00:13:25,610 --> 00:13:26,820 I don't know, a slave. 222 00:13:26,910 --> 00:13:29,160 Ugh, I object to that terminology. 223 00:13:29,530 --> 00:13:30,660 Indentured American? 224 00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:31,740 Better. 225 00:13:32,490 --> 00:13:35,160 Josh has some serious skills, unlike you foot lickers. 226 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,040 You're coming with us, Just Josh. 227 00:13:38,420 --> 00:13:40,920 Now, we can do this the hard way 228 00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:42,550 or the harder way. 229 00:13:43,340 --> 00:13:44,460 What's the hard way? 230 00:13:44,550 --> 00:13:47,720 We put an electric dog collar on and shock you into being our... 231 00:13:49,970 --> 00:13:51,180 indentured American. 232 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:53,770 And the harder way? 233 00:13:53,850 --> 00:13:56,560 - We put the collar on your junk. - That's my favorite. 234 00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:58,600 Thanks. 235 00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:00,190 But no thanks. 236 00:14:00,270 --> 00:14:03,020 You see, I have a sacred mission to accomplish. 237 00:14:03,730 --> 00:14:07,150 This is a nut-free campus. Sorry that I wasn't clear about that. 238 00:14:07,610 --> 00:14:10,780 Justin Salts, Terrence Markazian, 239 00:14:10,870 --> 00:14:11,910 Erika Kim... 240 00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:14,620 they even smell a nut, it's death. 241 00:14:15,870 --> 00:14:17,960 - Come in. - You wanted to see me, Mr. Burr? 242 00:14:29,510 --> 00:14:31,930 Sam Dean, meet Josh Wheeler. 243 00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:33,140 Josh, this is Sam. 244 00:14:34,060 --> 00:14:37,890 She's gonna show you around and answer any questions you have. 245 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,310 That's right. I named my sword after her. 246 00:14:43,610 --> 00:14:44,690 You would too. 247 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:47,650 - Hey, Sam! - Hey. 248 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,990 - Hi, guys. - Hola, Señorita Sam. 249 00:14:50,070 --> 00:14:51,450 Hola, Ms. Rodriguez. 250 00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:54,490 How do you have so many friendlies? 251 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:58,040 - Who are you? - I'm Sam Dean. 252 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,870 Two syllables, two boys' names. Sam, Dean. 253 00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:03,710 Like, Sam as in Samantha? 254 00:15:03,790 --> 00:15:05,250 Sam as in Samaira. 255 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,670 Is that... is that like an England thing? 256 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,720 Uh, no. My mum is an engineer, and she worked in Jaipur, 257 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:15,010 so I am the definition of cultural appropriation. 258 00:15:15,890 --> 00:15:17,640 Samaira. 259 00:15:18,220 --> 00:15:21,730 It means "enchanting," which is pretty cringe. 260 00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:24,610 Samaira is a kind of girl 261 00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:27,820 who Instagrams an inspirational quote over a peace sign selfie. 262 00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:30,200 Sam doesn't have any kind of social media platform. 263 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,200 Sam still likes riding her old BMX bike. 264 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:35,450 Sam's thinking of getting a tattoo but is too indecisive to choose. 265 00:15:35,530 --> 00:15:36,530 Wait, hang on. 266 00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:39,750 No one is friends with everyone unless they're, like, a cheerleader. 267 00:15:41,460 --> 00:15:44,670 - Are you a cheerleader? - Uh, no. But only because irony is dead. 268 00:15:45,290 --> 00:15:46,290 So what are you? 269 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:48,920 I'm... 270 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:50,920 interested. 271 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:52,880 Look. 272 00:15:54,430 --> 00:15:57,010 Competitive fidget spinners, creepypasta eaters, 273 00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:59,810 the meow-sters, E-sportos. 274 00:15:59,890 --> 00:16:03,100 Shannon Vinnecour recreated Gondor in Minecraft. 275 00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:06,610 And Todd Altman self-identifies his gender as a seahorse. 276 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,730 The horse of the sea. 277 00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:12,950 I don't think that we have those in Canada. 278 00:16:13,610 --> 00:16:14,610 Probably not. 279 00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:15,700 I get it. 280 00:16:16,370 --> 00:16:18,120 - You're nice. - Nice? 281 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,920 Nice is what you say when you have nothing else to say about someone. 282 00:16:20,950 --> 00:16:22,870 It's lame. I'm not nice. 283 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,460 Everyone seems to like you. 284 00:16:24,540 --> 00:16:25,960 I'm a human Sorting Hat. 285 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:29,170 Principal Burr just uses me to help figure out where the new students click. 286 00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:32,510 So where do I belong? 287 00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:36,470 Who are your people? 288 00:16:37,140 --> 00:16:39,810 I lived in a small town with small people. 289 00:16:39,890 --> 00:16:42,770 It's still jocks, and nerds, and cheerleaders, and... 290 00:16:43,850 --> 00:16:44,850 me. 291 00:16:46,060 --> 00:16:47,810 You're challenging, Josh Wheeler. 292 00:16:48,730 --> 00:16:50,110 And I do like a challenge. 293 00:16:54,860 --> 00:16:56,530 - Hey! - Shut up. 294 00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:01,450 Sam Dean is way above your orbit. 295 00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:04,500 - She's like stratosphere! - She does have great tits, though. 296 00:17:04,580 --> 00:17:07,710 Hey! This is love, and love is more important than boobs. 297 00:17:07,790 --> 00:17:09,290 Nothing is more important than boobs. 298 00:17:09,380 --> 00:17:10,920 I am in love with Sam Dean, 299 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,920 and I promised to keep her safe from thunder buckets of crap like you. 300 00:17:14,340 --> 00:17:15,180 Now, let the girl go, 301 00:17:15,260 --> 00:17:18,116 and we'll leave you to whatever circle jerk you have planned for tonight. 302 00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:20,390 That's tomorrow night. Tomorrow is Tuesday, right? 303 00:17:20,470 --> 00:17:22,910 - Shut the fuck up, Barry. - Gender norms don't exist anymore. 304 00:17:22,970 --> 00:17:23,970 Hey! 305 00:17:24,270 --> 00:17:25,270 Give me the girl. 306 00:17:25,770 --> 00:17:27,600 - We're leaving. - Sorry. 307 00:17:27,690 --> 00:17:28,770 Can't. 308 00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:32,860 We're on a mission to round up stragglers. And that means you too. 309 00:17:33,570 --> 00:17:36,320 Gary... ...collar this dog. 310 00:17:39,370 --> 00:17:41,790 Take another fucking step, and you're dead. 311 00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:46,080 Well, fuck you, loser! 312 00:17:48,210 --> 00:17:49,420 Oh, my God! 313 00:18:05,850 --> 00:18:07,520 Is this what you were trying to do? 314 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:10,230 I was trying to cut it clean off. It was gonna be rad! 315 00:18:10,310 --> 00:18:12,400 Get it out, fuck-knuckle. 316 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:13,680 Can't. It's stuck in the bone! 317 00:18:13,730 --> 00:18:15,110 Bone. 318 00:18:15,490 --> 00:18:18,070 Shut your face, Gary. Kill this guy. 319 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,530 Kill him a lot! 320 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:23,450 Hold on, Terry! 321 00:18:34,670 --> 00:18:35,840 Get out of there, Sam! 322 00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:37,720 Go! Sam! 323 00:18:43,050 --> 00:18:45,100 Any of you shit-dips move, 324 00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:47,680 and we have Burning Man Festival early. 325 00:18:47,770 --> 00:18:49,060 Angelica? 326 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:50,640 Fuck! 327 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:52,770 Six months. 328 00:18:52,860 --> 00:18:56,360 Six months looking for Sam, and just when I think I finally find her, 329 00:18:56,860 --> 00:18:58,030 it's Angelica? 330 00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:01,360 Angelica might be ten, but she's a total fuck... 331 00:19:03,450 --> 00:19:04,990 I wanna say a word that I can't use 332 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:08,120 because I don't want to use bad words to describe young women. 333 00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:09,750 I'm part of the solution. 334 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,130 Look, hey, Terry. Let's just forget about this, man. 335 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:15,960 You guys keep her. 336 00:19:16,130 --> 00:19:18,670 You can't just leave me here, you sphincter stain. 337 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,720 - What about all that hero shit? - That was before I knew it was you. 338 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,890 - What's wrong with me? - Angelica, 339 00:19:24,220 --> 00:19:25,890 I babysat you, like, three times, 340 00:19:25,970 --> 00:19:29,430 and every time, you either tried to light me or my stuff on fire. 341 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:30,890 Sorry to interrupt, 342 00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:34,020 but your sword is still stuck in my fucking hand! 343 00:19:39,070 --> 00:19:40,990 Listen! I'm leaving. 344 00:19:41,610 --> 00:19:44,030 And if you wanna live, you're not gonna follow. 345 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:45,620 Yeah, and why is that? 346 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,620 Because I just used my blade to make a PB&J. 347 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,500 Raspberry jam, 348 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,670 extra crunchy peanut butter. 349 00:19:53,290 --> 00:19:54,880 And if you don't get an EpiPen, 350 00:19:55,540 --> 00:19:58,550 you'll go into anaphylactic shock, right, Terry? 351 00:19:59,130 --> 00:20:01,300 How did you know I have an allergy? 352 00:20:01,380 --> 00:20:02,760 You may not know me... 353 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,680 but I know you, Terrence Markazian. 354 00:20:07,390 --> 00:20:10,730 This is a nut-free campus. Sorry that I wasn't clear about that. 355 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:13,270 Justin Salts, Terrence Markazian... 356 00:20:13,350 --> 00:20:14,520 Terrence Markazian... 357 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,770 they even smell a nut, it's death. 358 00:20:23,030 --> 00:20:24,910 You just made the wrong enemy. 359 00:20:25,740 --> 00:20:27,410 Your life is over, bro! 360 00:20:27,990 --> 00:20:30,540 Toss yourself to the Ghoulies, they'll be kinder! 361 00:20:31,410 --> 00:20:33,250 You'll never survive on your own! 362 00:20:37,090 --> 00:20:39,000 I won't be alone once I find Sam. 363 00:20:43,630 --> 00:20:46,890 You'd really leave me back there, all by myself, defenseless? 364 00:20:46,970 --> 00:20:49,640 Oh, please. Even the Ghoulies are scared of you. 365 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:53,390 Hmm. Fucking mutants should be. They melt better than Barbie dolls. 366 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:54,890 Bye-bye, Angelica. 367 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,440 You didn't lace your sword with peanuts. You hate PB&J. 368 00:20:58,520 --> 00:20:59,520 They don't know that. 369 00:21:00,230 --> 00:21:02,440 Psychos get psychosomatic symptoms. 370 00:21:03,570 --> 00:21:04,570 That's smart. 371 00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:06,660 You're not smart. 372 00:21:07,530 --> 00:21:11,040 The world is backwards, Angelica. I just fit in way better now. 373 00:21:18,790 --> 00:21:23,590 The child who boasts like a man may count his pubes on one hand. 374 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,550 This is why I avoid people. 375 00:21:26,630 --> 00:21:28,720 Because street samurai are a thing now. 376 00:21:37,690 --> 00:21:38,690 Nice sword. 377 00:21:39,190 --> 00:21:42,820 I see you listened to the wisdom I dropped, Joshua Wheeler. 378 00:21:43,940 --> 00:21:46,950 Wesley Fists? This guy was a dick. 379 00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:49,490 I've been trying to tell you. 380 00:21:49,570 --> 00:21:51,580 Please let me put you on game. 381 00:21:51,660 --> 00:21:53,790 You need a blade, Jaden. 382 00:21:53,870 --> 00:21:56,330 That was rule number one in the 15th century. 383 00:21:58,620 --> 00:22:00,250 Why not the 21st? 384 00:22:00,340 --> 00:22:02,090 - Nice. - Nice? 385 00:22:02,630 --> 00:22:06,220 This is an exact replica of the blade the legendary Toshirō Mifune 386 00:22:06,300 --> 00:22:07,720 wielded in Throne of Blood. 387 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:08,970 So why do you have it? 388 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,470 We can't all be three-time world gymnastics champion, Kurt Thomas, 389 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:16,270 who employed the precision of gymnastics and the deadly force of karate 390 00:22:16,350 --> 00:22:18,270 in the 1985 classic Gymkata. 391 00:22:18,350 --> 00:22:20,150 No one gets your movie references, dude. 392 00:22:20,650 --> 00:22:23,570 Josh understands what I'm talking about. Hey, yo, Vanilla Ice, 393 00:22:23,650 --> 00:22:25,780 tell Hoyles here swords are the perfect weapon. 394 00:22:25,860 --> 00:22:29,490 Oh, I mean, I don't know. I'd probably take a gun over a sword. 395 00:22:29,950 --> 00:22:32,370 A gun? Guns don't have names. 396 00:22:32,870 --> 00:22:34,790 Swords have all the best names. 397 00:22:34,870 --> 00:22:37,000 Please, tell me what gun is better than a sword? 398 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:38,540 Uh, I don't know. 399 00:22:39,290 --> 00:22:40,380 Sniper rifle? 400 00:22:40,460 --> 00:22:43,340 A sniper rifle! How many rounds you think you got? 401 00:22:44,340 --> 00:22:47,090 Awesome. Let's say a 30-round mag? 402 00:22:47,590 --> 00:22:49,310 How long do you think that's gonna last you? 403 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:50,680 Not long. 404 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:55,310 All I gotta do is wait for your bullets to be gone, 405 00:22:55,390 --> 00:22:57,770 and then answer... 406 00:22:57,850 --> 00:22:59,390 with honed steel. 407 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:04,480 Patience is knowing the mulberry leaf will soon become a silk robe. 408 00:23:04,570 --> 00:23:05,980 Principal Burr, back me up! 409 00:23:06,070 --> 00:23:08,610 You would take a sword over a gun? 410 00:23:08,690 --> 00:23:11,820 Oh, I don't know, Wes. I usually play Sombra in Overwatch. 411 00:23:12,530 --> 00:23:13,530 You play as a girl? 412 00:23:13,570 --> 00:23:16,370 Sombra has thermoptic camo. I like that. 413 00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:18,540 You can't hit what you can't see. 414 00:23:18,620 --> 00:23:20,750 And let's not talk about guns, 415 00:23:20,830 --> 00:23:24,920 because if you do, technically, I have to write a police report, 416 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,920 and technically, they have to file that with the FBI, 417 00:23:28,010 --> 00:23:30,510 and technically, you'll be on a watch list. 418 00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:33,260 But I support all of our amendments, especially 419 00:23:33,340 --> 00:23:36,720 your right to not be late for third period. Gentlemen. 420 00:23:44,810 --> 00:23:45,940 What the fuck? 421 00:23:48,030 --> 00:23:49,280 I'm sorry. 422 00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,990 Oh, too slow! Stay goosey! 423 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:56,280 What do you want, Wesley? 424 00:23:56,370 --> 00:23:59,000 If you're running with the Golf Club, you're missing a polo shirt. 425 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:00,290 I'm a pacifist now... 426 00:24:00,830 --> 00:24:03,370 atoning for crimes I committed in my previous life, 427 00:24:03,460 --> 00:24:04,540 on a path to enlightenment. 428 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,380 Don't start samurai crap with me. Your dad was my dentist. 429 00:24:07,460 --> 00:24:11,170 Proper flossing has no impact on my dedication to the Bushido Code. 430 00:24:11,260 --> 00:24:14,970 I've sworn an oath to help guide lost spirits through the wasteland. 431 00:24:15,050 --> 00:24:16,260 I'm not lost. 432 00:24:16,890 --> 00:24:18,430 - I just wanna find... - Sam Dean? 433 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:20,560 I know. 434 00:24:20,980 --> 00:24:22,600 I saw your tags. 435 00:24:22,690 --> 00:24:24,310 "I am here." I did a little... 436 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,190 Sherlock-and-popping, figured you were fishing for her. 437 00:24:28,270 --> 00:24:30,716 - Do you know where she is? - Well, I heard from Claire Richter, 438 00:24:30,740 --> 00:24:34,030 who runs with the Cheermazons, that Scooter Kauffman heard the STEM Punk tribe 439 00:24:34,110 --> 00:24:35,700 saw Sam hanging in the mall. 440 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,580 The mall is Baron Triumph territory. 441 00:24:40,450 --> 00:24:43,920 I came to tell you that the soul stealer stole your lady. 442 00:24:45,250 --> 00:24:47,710 Um, douchers? It's go time. 443 00:24:48,210 --> 00:24:49,500 Hey! 444 00:24:51,630 --> 00:24:53,880 I'm signaling Turbo for reinforcements. 445 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,160 - Trouble at the Golf Club, Mona. - Shut the fuck up. 446 00:25:25,620 --> 00:25:28,830 Golfers don't rate as athletes. They've got tiny balls. 447 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,380 Besides, American Ninja Idol is on. 448 00:25:31,460 --> 00:25:34,470 ♪ Today is the greatest ♪ 449 00:25:34,550 --> 00:25:36,550 ♪ Day I've ever known ♪ 450 00:25:37,390 --> 00:25:40,600 ♪ Can't live for tomorrow ♪ 451 00:25:42,850 --> 00:25:43,850 Oh, shi... 452 00:25:55,900 --> 00:25:56,900 That's good. 453 00:26:00,580 --> 00:26:02,540 I did it! I won! 454 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:06,200 No. 455 00:26:27,850 --> 00:26:29,850 Feel like hunting some new recruits? 456 00:27:02,470 --> 00:27:04,600 Come out, come out, wherever you are. 457 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,140 - Where are you, Josh? - Can't hide forever. 458 00:27:07,220 --> 00:27:10,980 - Here, Joshie, Joshie! - We're gonna find you. 459 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,110 Really? You think this is a good time to get high? 460 00:27:17,570 --> 00:27:20,450 Bubonic Chronic helps me focus in times of stress. 461 00:27:20,530 --> 00:27:21,530 Can I have a hit? 462 00:27:21,610 --> 00:27:24,160 We are not lighting the Golf Team on fire. 463 00:27:25,490 --> 00:27:26,490 Come on. 464 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:39,800 Yo! 465 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,390 This place has everything! 466 00:27:43,930 --> 00:27:46,510 Food, water... 467 00:27:47,310 --> 00:27:49,140 a tub of Aquaphor. 468 00:27:49,230 --> 00:27:52,440 O negative blood for transfusions! 469 00:27:53,230 --> 00:27:55,980 Quilted toilet paper. 470 00:27:56,070 --> 00:28:00,150 Party supplies, Tide Pods... What are you washing? 471 00:28:00,700 --> 00:28:03,570 Damn near all the Settlers of Catan. 472 00:28:04,070 --> 00:28:08,160 I thought you would've been taken out in the first round, Josh Wheeler. 473 00:28:08,660 --> 00:28:10,750 But check you out! 474 00:28:10,830 --> 00:28:14,130 - I am impressed. - This is just my old apartment. 475 00:28:14,210 --> 00:28:15,460 I just use it for storage. 476 00:28:16,170 --> 00:28:17,750 Yeah, storage. 477 00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:20,800 Flowers? Andes Mints? 478 00:28:21,670 --> 00:28:25,430 - You expecting some company? - I thought that Sam might come here. 479 00:28:26,430 --> 00:28:28,100 I've been looking for her for months. 480 00:28:28,180 --> 00:28:30,060 I think what we had was special. 481 00:28:30,850 --> 00:28:32,370 You know, it was weird. It was like... 482 00:28:32,940 --> 00:28:35,940 a hit teen rom-com, but spread out over a bunch of episodes 483 00:28:36,020 --> 00:28:38,150 that you could just binge in one sitting. 484 00:28:39,730 --> 00:28:40,990 Let's cut to the montage? 485 00:28:41,780 --> 00:28:44,780 ♪ Staring in your eyes ♪ 486 00:28:44,860 --> 00:28:49,450 ♪ Everything simplifies ♪ 487 00:28:51,450 --> 00:28:54,370 ♪ Leave it all behind ♪ 488 00:28:54,460 --> 00:28:58,840 ♪ Everything simplifies ♪ 489 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:03,420 ♪ All we need is nothing more ♪ 490 00:29:03,510 --> 00:29:07,800 ♪ When everything simplifies ♪ 491 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:12,430 ♪ You and I need nothing more... ♪ 492 00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:13,810 Give me a sec to tidy up. 493 00:29:15,100 --> 00:29:17,150 Whoa, I can handle a little mess. 494 00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:19,520 What's so embarrassing? 495 00:29:19,610 --> 00:29:23,690 Oh, just grabbing my Pokémon cards. You know, Pikachu, Charmander. 496 00:29:23,780 --> 00:29:27,110 I even have a Mewtwo, which is... You know, gotta catch 'em all. 497 00:29:27,660 --> 00:29:31,160 Just don't want you to think that I'm some kind of... weirdo. 498 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:34,540 "Call Grandma, no texts. The future scares her." 499 00:29:35,790 --> 00:29:36,790 What's this? 500 00:29:38,790 --> 00:29:39,840 That's, uh... 501 00:29:42,340 --> 00:29:43,510 That's my mom. 502 00:29:46,510 --> 00:29:47,680 After the divorce, 503 00:29:48,300 --> 00:29:50,300 my mom got custody, and we moved here. 504 00:29:50,390 --> 00:29:52,350 But she leaves the house at the crack of dawn 505 00:29:52,430 --> 00:29:54,480 and doesn't get home until after dinner, so... 506 00:29:55,940 --> 00:29:57,310 I have a Post-it parent. 507 00:29:58,940 --> 00:30:00,820 Sam, meet my mom. 508 00:30:01,940 --> 00:30:04,530 Mom... this is Sam. 509 00:30:10,780 --> 00:30:12,910 And your Pokémon cards? 510 00:30:12,990 --> 00:30:17,000 Uh, I actually have a huge collection, but they're back in Toronto with my dad. 511 00:30:17,750 --> 00:30:18,750 Wow. 512 00:30:19,750 --> 00:30:20,750 I am a weirdo. 513 00:30:21,250 --> 00:30:23,800 But not a total weirdo. 514 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:32,100 Sorry, I just... 515 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:36,180 I don't want a pity peck for our first kiss. You know? 516 00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:39,140 Josh... 517 00:30:39,980 --> 00:30:43,690 You could be broody and bleak, but you're not. 518 00:30:44,730 --> 00:30:46,940 Your superpower is your honesty. 519 00:30:47,700 --> 00:30:49,320 Radical honesty. 520 00:30:49,820 --> 00:30:52,280 You're not trying to be anyone else but yourself. 521 00:31:14,350 --> 00:31:16,140 Thanks for telling me where Sam is. 522 00:31:16,220 --> 00:31:18,930 You guys can just take whatever you want and go. 523 00:31:20,350 --> 00:31:22,350 And what if Sam's not at the mall? 524 00:31:23,020 --> 00:31:25,020 - What if she's dead? - She's not. 525 00:31:25,110 --> 00:31:28,070 Look, my mom used to leave me Post-it notes, but this one... 526 00:31:28,820 --> 00:31:30,110 this one is Sam's writing. 527 00:31:30,610 --> 00:31:31,860 She left it here for me. 528 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,370 If Sam is out there, I'm not giving up. 529 00:31:39,290 --> 00:31:42,830 Everyone can hear that... right? 530 00:31:51,090 --> 00:31:52,220 Shit. 531 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:54,220 It's Turbo Bro Jock. 532 00:31:54,300 --> 00:31:55,550 Turbo Bro? 533 00:31:56,010 --> 00:31:57,600 You mean, Turbo Pokaski? 534 00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:00,140 I can't believe some parent named their kid Turbo. 535 00:32:00,230 --> 00:32:02,810 They might as well have named him Adolf or Bully. 536 00:32:02,900 --> 00:32:05,440 Turbo gathered all the jocks into one tribe. 537 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:07,860 Football, baseball, golf, et cetera. 538 00:32:08,730 --> 00:32:11,200 - He's the bad guy. - How'd they find us? 539 00:32:11,610 --> 00:32:12,740 We found it here! 540 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:14,870 Bubonic Chronic. 541 00:32:14,950 --> 00:32:16,450 Bubonic Chronic? 542 00:32:16,910 --> 00:32:17,910 Wesley? 543 00:32:19,580 --> 00:32:21,370 Little pig, little pig. 544 00:32:21,830 --> 00:32:25,580 Let us in! Or we'll huff, and we'll puff, 545 00:32:25,670 --> 00:32:27,840 and we'll kick the shit out of you. 546 00:32:28,170 --> 00:32:29,840 We have to get out of here, Josh. 547 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:31,510 You and I are not a thing, Angelica. 548 00:32:31,590 --> 00:32:34,050 If I kaboom those Jocks to ash, can I stay on your team? 549 00:32:34,130 --> 00:32:35,180 I don't have a team. 550 00:32:35,260 --> 00:32:38,600 I'm a genius with very flexible morality. You need me! 551 00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,036 I agree with the petulant dwarf. You require our assistance. 552 00:32:41,060 --> 00:32:44,850 Uh-uh. Both of you, unsubscribe. You two made my life hell in high school. 553 00:32:44,940 --> 00:32:48,230 I've done a great many things that've besmirched my soul. 554 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,360 A rōnin seeks forgiveness through action. 555 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,860 Having other people around is just trouble, okay? 556 00:32:52,950 --> 00:32:55,860 I'm going to find Sam. That's it. 557 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,001 It's not on me to forgive you for being a jerk in high school, Wesley. 558 00:32:59,030 --> 00:33:01,160 And I'm not babysitting you anymore, Angelica. 559 00:33:01,250 --> 00:33:04,210 - Look, I'm sorry I was such a shit. - No, you're not. 560 00:33:04,290 --> 00:33:06,880 No, I'm not. But we have no idea what's going on here. 561 00:33:07,290 --> 00:33:10,010 We don't know why the adults turned into Ghoulies or why kids didn't. 562 00:33:10,420 --> 00:33:12,300 But those are just kids out there. 563 00:33:12,380 --> 00:33:16,220 Fascist bullies who saw Mad Max too many times and dressed like assholes, 564 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:17,930 but still kids. 565 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:23,060 The only way we're gonna find answers and survive is if we stay together. 566 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:29,900 These douchebags wanna party? 567 00:33:33,900 --> 00:33:35,450 Let's throw 'em a real rager. 568 00:33:38,070 --> 00:33:38,950 Throw the rocks! 569 00:33:39,030 --> 00:33:40,030 Pussies! 570 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:45,830 They're not coming out, Turbo. 571 00:33:46,290 --> 00:33:48,000 We gotta turn up, Turbo. 572 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,250 We're savage AF, Turbo. 573 00:33:50,340 --> 00:33:52,250 No one ducks our tribe, Turbo. 574 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,630 Let's bust through this goal line, Turbo. 575 00:34:07,850 --> 00:34:09,610 Yeah, Turbo! 576 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:35,340 I'm dirty! Josh! 577 00:34:35,420 --> 00:34:37,670 Make it rain! 578 00:34:50,350 --> 00:34:54,860 ♪ Yours is a history that's written in stone ♪ 579 00:34:55,820 --> 00:35:00,910 ♪ There was a lady who had built her own throne ♪ 580 00:35:02,070 --> 00:35:06,450 ♪ You could have anything that you ever asked ♪ 581 00:35:07,370 --> 00:35:12,460 ♪ To live in the moment and remove your mask ♪ 582 00:35:36,730 --> 00:35:41,410 Is that all you got, losers? You're gonna have to do better than that! 583 00:35:45,700 --> 00:35:47,040 Ghoulies! 584 00:35:47,870 --> 00:35:48,790 Holy shit! 585 00:35:48,870 --> 00:35:49,870 We gotta go. 586 00:35:50,500 --> 00:35:51,500 What did they do? 587 00:36:04,930 --> 00:36:05,930 Get the fu... 588 00:36:38,750 --> 00:36:40,300 - Come on. - Come on. 589 00:36:41,550 --> 00:36:43,990 There's an alley off Lexington Ave. Goes straight to the mall. 590 00:36:44,050 --> 00:36:46,050 You guys take that, I'll take Glendale to Colorado. 591 00:36:46,090 --> 00:36:47,100 We need to stay together. 592 00:36:47,180 --> 00:36:50,060 We stay together, they'll catch us. Those Jocks have a hard-on for me. 593 00:36:50,140 --> 00:36:52,456 I'll lose them and meet you by the rear entrance of Dick's. 594 00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,020 Rear. 595 00:36:54,100 --> 00:36:56,440 Fine. Get your balls in gear, boys. 596 00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:08,370 Uh... 597 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,000 Tracks! 598 00:37:23,420 --> 00:37:26,640 You can run, but you can't hide, sucker! 599 00:38:00,540 --> 00:38:02,550 God, I can't believe I'm gonna get caught. 600 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:05,050 And the worst part... 601 00:38:06,550 --> 00:38:10,100 I'd probably still be with Sam if I just went to that dumb football game. 602 00:38:12,220 --> 00:38:13,350 Hike! 603 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:49,050 Oh, shit. 604 00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:11,200 Ah... 605 00:39:20,420 --> 00:39:22,290 - Sam! - Josh! 606 00:39:22,420 --> 00:39:25,130 - Sam, where are you? - I can't see. I'm bleeding! 607 00:39:25,210 --> 00:39:29,670 Josh! Josh, follow emergency lockdown procedures! Find your buddy! 608 00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:32,640 - I'm gonna find you! - Josh, I'm scared! 609 00:39:32,720 --> 00:39:35,140 - I... Josh... - Sam? 610 00:39:35,720 --> 00:39:36,720 Sam! 611 00:39:40,310 --> 00:39:41,690 Sam! 612 00:39:42,350 --> 00:39:43,360 Sam! 613 00:39:44,150 --> 00:39:45,150 Sam! 614 00:39:50,820 --> 00:39:51,820 You know what? 615 00:39:52,240 --> 00:39:55,700 I promised Sam, and I'm not stopping until I find her. 616 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:20,680 Get him! 617 00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:34,870 Nobody messes with the Golf Team! 618 00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:50,460 Damn, these some chain chains. 619 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:51,970 Dead end. 620 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:54,010 There's a sale. 621 00:40:54,470 --> 00:40:57,470 Ten percent off Groove Pants at Lululemon. 622 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:01,140 There's a sale. 623 00:41:01,220 --> 00:41:02,350 Spark me, Samurai. 624 00:41:02,430 --> 00:41:05,100 Ten percent off Groove Pants at Lululemon. 625 00:41:18,990 --> 00:41:20,830 Stupid Russian-made flamethrower! 626 00:41:22,410 --> 00:41:24,620 - I can't open it! - I'm almost empty. 627 00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,170 - You gotta kill her! - There's a sale! 628 00:41:27,250 --> 00:41:29,880 Ten percent off Groove Pants at Lululemon. 629 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:31,300 I'm a pacifist! 630 00:41:31,380 --> 00:41:34,090 Plus, this poor white girl just wants some yoga pants. 631 00:41:34,170 --> 00:41:37,300 As an empiricist, I find the need to redeem your soul 632 00:41:37,390 --> 00:41:39,930 to be hopelessly naive and fucking stupid. 633 00:41:45,940 --> 00:41:47,730 Oh, shit! My sword! 634 00:41:48,150 --> 00:41:51,780 - You suck at hero-ing. - I saved your stupid lives, twice. 635 00:41:51,860 --> 00:41:53,990 Now, hurry. Turbo's on my ass. 636 00:41:54,570 --> 00:41:57,700 Um... No, he's not. 637 00:41:59,370 --> 00:42:00,780 Why aren't they chasing you? 638 00:42:09,630 --> 00:42:10,670 Baron Triumph. 639 00:42:13,340 --> 00:42:14,420 Oh, shit. 640 00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:18,550 Anyone know who the hell this twat herder really is? 641 00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,560 I heard he's Marco Lions, that gearhead that lived in Hollywood. 642 00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,810 Didn't your old bestie Jaden Hoyles ride a motorcycle like that? 643 00:42:24,890 --> 00:42:27,600 Well, Hoyles is a real prick. 644 00:42:27,690 --> 00:42:30,440 Whoever he is, here he comes. 645 00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:43,290 What the... 646 00:42:44,450 --> 00:42:46,580 So what's like life in the apocalypse? 647 00:42:49,500 --> 00:42:51,130 It's never what you'd expect.