1 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:10,028 Step right up! 2 00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,322 Five tries for a dollar, three tries for two! 3 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,615 That's my kind of deal! 4 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,933 Broth, we're on security detail! 5 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,453 The queen is taking the stage soon 6 00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:20,413 and those protesters are making me nervous. 7 00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:23,124 It's time to strike a blow for Kraken rights! 8 00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,960 We'll show them you can't exploit the majesty of nature 9 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,629 in the name of consumerism! 10 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,509 Yeah! For Krakens! What the hell is a Kraken? 11 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:35,595 Professor Sequoia, do we get graded for this or is it pass / fail? 12 00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:38,806 First of all, Gretchen, I told you: I'm the cool professor. 13 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,475 When we're just rapping, call me Ziggy. 14 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:43,019 It's not about grades, it's about disrupting the Queen's speech. 15 00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:46,815 Lighten up, Patrick. It's Kraken Week! 16 00:00:46,839 --> 00:00:48,316 I hate to get all legal on ya, 17 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,236 but we'd be breaking the law if we didn't party our faces off. 18 00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,888 Broth, we need to get to our post! 19 00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:02,121 Welcome to the 109th Kraken Week! 20 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:12,715 Is everyone enjoying my brand new baby Kraken infinity scarf? 21 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,867 No! 22 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:18,721 Chum. Chum! Get down! 23 00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:22,976 Get down! 24 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,983 Chum shot to the face! 25 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:32,360 It's in my mouth! 26 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,970 Wooooooo! Look out! 27 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:50,777 My life is 51 weeks of hell and one week of paradise: 28 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:52,589 Kraken Week! 29 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,799 Patrick, is it true you were there 30 00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:57,302 when the Queen got chummed at the opening ceremonies? 31 00:01:57,326 --> 00:02:00,221 Ah‐ah! No work talk! Only Kraken talk! 32 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:01,306 But, Dad‐‐. 33 00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:04,809 If your lips are flappin', better be about Kraken! 34 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,436 Who wants dessert? 35 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,397 Nobody gets cake until we sing the song. 36 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,039 Bring it home! 37 00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:33,838 Glenn! Well, I'm sorry! 38 00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:35,840 Kraken Week is very special to me. 39 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:38,510 And since I'll never get to see one in the wild‐‐. 40 00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:41,095 Dad, for the millionth time, I'm sorry! 41 00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:43,097 I didn't know I had a shellfish allergy. 42 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:46,392 There we were, in line for the Kraken‐watching tour. 43 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:51,105 Soak it in, kids. This is a once‐in‐a‐lifetime opportunity. 44 00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:55,860 I've been on the waiting list for this tour since I was your age. 45 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:59,572 Hey, Patrick, lick this. What is it? 46 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,950 It's a Popsicle. 47 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:04,744 Don't tell anyone where you got it. Okay. 48 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:09,457 Last call for the Kraken‐watching tour! Last call! 49 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:12,043 This is it! Woo! I've never been so happy! 50 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,169 I love you, kids. 51 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,088 What are you eating? 52 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,714 Popsicle. I found it. 53 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,300 You don't look so good. Is that shrimp? 54 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:22,011 I can't breathe! 55 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,806 Oh, my God! He's having an allergic reaction! 56 00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:29,102 He's fine! His tongue is swollen with excitement! 57 00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:31,020 Whose isn't? I'm swollen! 58 00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:36,526 Who finds a Popsicle? 59 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:40,280 Dad, I'm done apologizing, because somebody works at the castle now. 60 00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:43,700 And somebody got free Kraken‐watching tickets for tomorrow! 61 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:46,703 Oh, Patrick, you shouldn't have. 62 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:50,623 Son, you just went from least favorite kid straight to the top! 63 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:53,668 Hey! Glenn, stop ranking the kids. 64 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:56,421 Tomorrow? I have taxidermy club! 65 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,381 I finally get to show off Winky! 66 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,218 You can skip it. 67 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:05,996 How'd you get free tickets after letting the Queen get fish‐blasted? 68 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:11,561 You let some tree‐hugger chum‐punt the Queen? 69 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:15,648 He did! And I want him strung up by his heels immediately! 70 00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:18,217 I'll take care of it, my love. Hmpf! 71 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:24,741 That is... the funniest thing I have ever heard in my whole fucking life! 72 00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:28,495 How can I ever repay you? 73 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,377 No! Straighten the virgin! It looks ridiculous! 74 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:40,131 Dad, Blarney's too drunk to be up here! Can I get some sober help? 75 00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:43,468 No, you have a problem, man! 76 00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:48,223 Ah, nobody help him! It's the only way he'll learn. 77 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,085 Done! 78 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:57,065 Ugh, Krakens are so lame! And yappy! 79 00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:58,900 They're like the corgis of the sea. 80 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:00,235 You take that back! 81 00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:03,655 I'm a pirate, Dad. The ocean is my office. 82 00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:05,949 I know what I'm talking about. 83 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,284 Listen, if you're the man with the connections, 84 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:12,539 how about hooking Coral up with some sweet gunpowder from the royal stash? 85 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:15,166 I can't take you seriously when you talk in the third person. 86 00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,668 And I'm not stealing from my job for you. 87 00:05:16,692 --> 00:05:19,754 Oh, c'mon, bitch! I'm in the middle of a pirate turf war 88 00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:23,049 and I'm getting my cooch handed to me by Long Dong Doug! 89 00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,093 I need to beef up my firepower! 90 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:28,263 Would you just back off and let me savor my victory? 91 00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:30,515 I'm finally back on Dad's good side. 92 00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:34,686 He's going to have the experience of a lifetime, and it's all thanks to me! 93 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,821 I've never seen you look so happy, Glenn! 94 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,365 Well, that boy's made my dreams come true! 95 00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:50,267 Nobody move! This is a hijacking! 96 00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:57,125 Kraken Week is canceled! Forever! 97 00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:58,877 God dammit, Patrick. 98 00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:07,719 A Kraken‐watching cruise has been hijacked! 99 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,804 There are hostages. What?! 100 00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:13,808 The Royal Navy can handle it. More importantly, where are we with lunch? 101 00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:16,352 Sire, there are many valuable spices on board. 102 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,856 For example, Cinnamon is on the ship. 103 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,733 Cinnamon? Who cares? 104 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:24,736 Your Highness, also aboard is a load of Basil. 105 00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:27,572 Bazel? I'm never sure how it's pronounced. 106 00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:28,615 Oh, dear. 107 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:36,331 I'm Doreen, and this is my husband, Glenn. 108 00:06:36,355 --> 00:06:39,083 Hello, I'm Cinnamon. I'm Basil. 109 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,877 And what do you do for work? 110 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:44,506 I work in the castle. So do I! What department are you in? 111 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,883 The Department of... Adultery. 112 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:50,035 Get out of town! I'm in the same department! 113 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:55,934 What is going on? I think we have a meet‐cute. 114 00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:58,937 As the king, I should handle this personally. 115 00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:02,047 Yes, and I'll go as well. It's the right thing to do. 116 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,901 Broth, I am freaking out! 117 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,529 Me too! We never picked a lunch place! 118 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:10,264 No, my parents are on that ship! I have to save 'em! 119 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:15,686 So, we're just never gonna eat, then, huh? 120 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,292 Beautiful, ain't she? 121 00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,569 Y'know, a ship is like a woman... 122 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,589 End of metaphor. 123 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,633 Technically, a simile. 124 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,969 - Cool boat. - Look but don't touch, boy. 125 00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:34,556 And it's not a boat, it's a ship! There's a goddamn difference! 126 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:35,807 What's the difference? 127 00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:40,061 A ship... is a really big boat. 128 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:43,022 Admiral Killgore, the King requests your presence on deck. 129 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,548 We're approaching the hijacked ship. 130 00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:50,113 You heard the man, Broth. Lick but don't touch. 131 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,532 Mmmm. Glassy. 132 00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:58,288 Ugh, I think I cut my tongue! 133 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,963 What's the plan, Admiral? Standard hostage protocols. 134 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:11,176 We shoot a hole in their ship. Icy waters and sharks do their jobs. 135 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:15,972 Survival rate is a solid 50%. Everyone goes home happy. 136 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,892 Fifty percent? That's horrific! 137 00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:22,854 Yep. I'm more of a glass‐half‐full kinda guy. 138 00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:26,900 Your majesty, think of the cinnamon! And the basil! 139 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:29,027 Well, he's right! We can't lose the cinnamon! 140 00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:31,362 That's right. Sharks love cinnamon, Your Highness. 141 00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:33,072 And no harm must come to the basil! 142 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,932 Okay, I'm not a shark dietitian. 143 00:08:39,061 --> 00:08:42,832 I think this is going super well, guys. We're really making a difference. 144 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,418 Anna's right! This is going great. 145 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:48,296 Sean, we all know you're just taking this class to impress Anna. 146 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,465 What?! Bullshit! 147 00:08:50,489 --> 00:08:54,594 I really care about these dolphins, man. Or seals or whatever they are. 148 00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:57,162 Whoa, Sean! Swing‐and‐a‐miss! 149 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:02,101 Uh, hi. Remind me who you are, again? 150 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:05,188 Oh, me? I'm just an uneducated, self‐made millionaire 151 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,941 back in college to reconnect with my son Sean! 152 00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:09,692 Dad, you're embarrassing me. 153 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,694 Heads up, class! It's the heat. 154 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,363 Now they can't ignore us! 155 00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:15,740 Yeah! They'll cancel Kraken Week for sure! 156 00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:18,910 If they cancel Kraken Week, I will kill myself. 157 00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:21,204 You are a married man with four children. 158 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,289 I heard what I said. 159 00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:29,546 Canons are loaded and ready! Wait! 160 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:32,173 Can't we try to negotiate before we sink them? 161 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:37,136 The Royal Navy does not negotiate with terrorists! 162 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,429 Not ordinarily. 163 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:42,040 But today you've got the world's greatest negotiator on board. 164 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,436 Oh, wait. He means me! 165 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,063 What the hell are you talking about? 166 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,357 You couldn't negotiate your way out of a paper bag. 167 00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:52,318 I wrote the book on negotiation! No, you didn't. 168 00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:55,029 I say I did, you say I didn't. Sounds like a maybe. 169 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:57,347 You just got negotiated. Oh, shut up. 170 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,995 Let's negotiate, motherfuckers! 171 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,746 Holy shit, that's the King! 172 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,415 Well, now it's treason. 173 00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:06,708 What?! 174 00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,001 What?! 175 00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:10,295 And they've kidnapped my husband. 176 00:10:10,319 --> 00:10:12,613 Looks like I'll have to go over and fix this. 177 00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,657 You can do it, Your Majesty! 178 00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:22,724 Well, they just tied up the Queen. 179 00:10:22,748 --> 00:10:25,977 Here you are always getting kidnapped, and I have to come to the rescue. 180 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:28,563 I own your dick! 181 00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,982 The King, Queen, their barely secret lovers, 182 00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:32,775 and my own parents are gonna die, 183 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,153 and I'm the domino that started this shitstorm! 184 00:10:35,177 --> 00:10:36,779 I've got to do something! 185 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:37,906 Like I've been saying, 186 00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:40,909 we blow a hole in their ship and let God sort it out. 187 00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:43,745 Should I go back to base and get reinforcements? 188 00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:45,830 No! I got this under control! 189 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:48,416 - Seems like you could use some help. - No! 190 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,001 - I could fly there right now. - No, Chip! 191 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:53,254 Fine! I'm gonna go watch the travesty unfolding downstairs. 192 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:55,548 That Broth kid's a hoot! 193 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:59,010 Please, give me a little more time. I know we can save the hostages. 194 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,386 Stop talking! 195 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:05,165 I will give you an hour, then it is time for the ol' Blow‐n‐Drown. 196 00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:16,343 Oh! 197 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:21,157 Hi, I'm Cinnamon. Oh! Charmed, I'm sure. 198 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:24,536 And, uh, this is my new friend, Basil. 199 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:27,646 Nice to meet you... for the first time ever. 200 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,126 Did the vibe get very strange all of a sudden? 201 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,504 Doreen, don't engage! 202 00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:38,007 Broth! Things are going off the rails out there‐what the hell? 203 00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:43,137 I broke all the bottles, so I need more bottles. 204 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:45,557 Grab a bottle. Why didn't you just dump it out? 205 00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:48,601 Because I'm drunk and I've lost a lot of blood. 206 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,895 I don't have time for this. I need the parrot. 207 00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:54,774 Parrot? Oh, my God! I thought that voice was in my head! 208 00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:57,718 Broth's a failure. You heard that, right? 209 00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:01,489 Guys, we're in too deep. 210 00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:04,450 I gotta tell ya, I thought college would be a lot more, y'know, 211 00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,870 keggers and pussy. Dad! 212 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:09,205 Look, I wanna save Krakens as much as anybody, 213 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,583 but this is guillotine‐level treason! 214 00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:13,251 None of this is in the syllabus! 215 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:15,587 There's no syllabus for life, Gretchen! 216 00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:18,506 There's no turning back now! Seize the moment! 217 00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,324 Moment... moment... moment. 218 00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:25,180 Anna, I'm gonna seize the moment. 219 00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:28,057 Since we're about to die, how about you and me 220 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,083 I am fucking your dad. 221 00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:33,813 You are the fucking enemy of my happiness, Dad! 222 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:37,233 What can I say? It's college! Hey‐hey‐hey! 223 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,319 Here are our demands: 224 00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:42,280 Cancel Kraken Week, more funds for conservation, 225 00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:45,492 end the culturally insensitive ban on virgin sacrifices. 226 00:12:45,516 --> 00:12:48,119 Because the Krakens are starving! 227 00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:50,538 I don't negotiate with nerds. 228 00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:52,957 Oh, you will! 229 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:57,670 So, you won't cancel Kraken Week, eh? 230 00:12:57,694 --> 00:13:00,465 Then I have no choice but to cancel you! 231 00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:01,966 What the hell does that mean? 232 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:06,054 The history books are full of Kraken sacrifices‐usually princesses. 233 00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:09,891 We don't have a princess handy, but we have the next best thing! 234 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,481 Not to the face! Not to the. 235 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:21,027 It's even better than I imagined! 236 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:25,156 Ugh, it's in my eye, you little dick! Sorry, ma'am. 237 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,075 My dad's sleeping with the girl I like, 238 00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:29,142 and I'm really going through some stuff right now. 239 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:03,343 This is it! 240 00:14:04,136 --> 00:14:08,348 Glenn, your Kraken boner is tightening the knots! 241 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:13,121 I swear to God, 242 00:14:13,145 --> 00:14:16,749 if that thing puts one scratch on my ship... 243 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,419 It's the Glenn of the sea! 244 00:14:19,443 --> 00:14:21,129 I've killed us all. 245 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,369 Somebody do something! 246 00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,225 Open fire! 247 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:41,983 No! Don't hurt it! 248 00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:46,070 Cannons can't pierce Kraken hide! Any true Krak‐Head would know that! 249 00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:48,281 I'm talking about emotionally! 250 00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:53,852 Tulip! 251 00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:00,793 What the hell is your problem? 252 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:02,778 It's because she's not a virgin! 253 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,258 Of course! Krakens only eat virgins! 254 00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:09,802 See, class? Gretchen did the assigned reading. 255 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,685 Now that is rich! 256 00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,190 It needs a virgin, or it will kill us all! 257 00:15:22,214 --> 00:15:23,757 Quickly, who among us is pure? 258 00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:29,280 No, huh? Hey! Good for you! Look at this guy. 259 00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:31,533 Does‐does hand stuff count? 260 00:15:31,557 --> 00:15:33,576 Let's say “yes,” just to be safe. 261 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:42,377 No! I'm on your side! I'm an ally! 262 00:15:43,819 --> 00:15:47,966 That's right! I‐I'm no virgin! I'm a tenured professor! 263 00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:50,760 Each semester brings a fresh crop of barely legal coeds! 264 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,595 I'm a human resources nightmare! 265 00:15:55,247 --> 00:15:57,517 Professor! No! 266 00:15:57,541 --> 00:16:01,271 It's okay, babe. I gotta get off this boat. 267 00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:04,440 Our professor died at sea. We all get automatic A's. 268 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:07,718 Yes! Yes! It's in the syllabus. 269 00:16:13,891 --> 00:16:19,080 What's up, cocksuckers? 270 00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:20,856 Broth's a failure. 271 00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:23,567 Her. 272 00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:31,759 You came! 273 00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:36,306 So, Coral. Argh! 274 00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:38,516 Queen of the Pirates. 275 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:41,060 Chip, I see you've been busy. 276 00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:44,481 Don't be jealous. Plenty of Chip to go around. 277 00:16:44,505 --> 00:16:47,859 Admiral Javier Killgore, we meet at last! 278 00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:50,320 Looks like you've got yourself a Kraken problem. 279 00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:52,155 Nothin' we can't handle. 280 00:16:53,889 --> 00:16:57,494 Ahem. Did you just come here to get corrosive sea water 281 00:16:57,518 --> 00:16:59,954 on my freshly waxed floorboards? 282 00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:03,124 Or do you have any suggestions for stoppin' that thing? 283 00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:05,418 Well, that's the deal with Krakens. 284 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:08,630 The only thing that'll make 'em fuck off is chowing down on virgin meat. 285 00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:13,760 Ugh! Tell me somethin' I don't know! Ah, the hell with this, I'm gettin' a mop. 286 00:17:13,784 --> 00:17:17,514 Coral, Mom and Dad are on that ship! Do something! 287 00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:18,806 You know my terms. 288 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:21,518 Are we talking about that gunpowder? 289 00:17:21,542 --> 00:17:23,686 This is serious! Mom and Dad could die! 290 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,897 Meh. They're old. They had a good run. 291 00:17:25,921 --> 00:17:27,774 You're unbelievable! 292 00:17:32,678 --> 00:17:34,447 You blinked first. 293 00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:36,449 Under Maritime Law, I win! 294 00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:39,118 Ugh, fine! So, what do we do? 295 00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,495 Like I said, Patrick, 296 00:17:40,519 --> 00:17:42,539 there's only one way to make a Kraken disappear. 297 00:17:42,563 --> 00:17:45,291 It needs a sweet, perky virgin. 298 00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:52,966 Hey! Kraken! 299 00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:57,178 I volunteer as virgin tribute! 300 00:18:01,373 --> 00:18:04,602 Oh, no! Patrick! Jesus, Patrick! 301 00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:08,022 The neighbor kid is a year younger than you, he already has three kids. 302 00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,650 Everyone moves at their own pace, Dad! 303 00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:13,510 Oh, Christ! 304 00:18:17,639 --> 00:18:21,661 No! My poor virgin son! 305 00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:23,872 Virgin? It's a mercy killing. 306 00:18:23,896 --> 00:18:25,397 Ooooh. 307 00:18:26,732 --> 00:18:28,901 Patrick! 308 00:18:32,404 --> 00:18:36,759 He died as he lived... 309 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:39,971 A hero... A virg‐hero. Mm‐hmm. 310 00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:43,248 Hey! Kraken! 311 00:18:44,917 --> 00:18:48,229 I might smell like a virgin, 312 00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:51,632 but I taste like dynamite! 313 00:18:54,510 --> 00:18:59,616 Nooooooooo! 314 00:19:00,766 --> 00:19:05,163 No! My ship! 315 00:19:07,481 --> 00:19:11,419 It's the Kraken's one weakness, the switcheroo! 316 00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:13,755 I'm so glad you're happy! 317 00:19:13,779 --> 00:19:16,341 I just compromised everything that I stand for! 318 00:19:16,365 --> 00:19:19,677 The ends always justify the means, Patrick! 319 00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:21,471 Words to live by! 320 00:19:21,495 --> 00:19:22,931 See ya later! 321 00:19:22,955 --> 00:19:26,875 Me and this gunpowder have a date with Long Dong Doug! 322 00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:31,731 Dammit! Oh, shit. The shellfish. 323 00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:37,737 Oh, she's so wild and untamed! I wish I could bottle her up. 324 00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:41,825 Aaaaaaand done. 325 00:19:41,849 --> 00:19:43,451 Whew! 326 00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:44,977 Ah! 327 00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:51,358 Thus ends the story of Broth. 328 00:19:52,401 --> 00:19:55,863 Thanks for the gunpowder, fucko! 329 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:02,178 Is it a bad time to ask for next Friday off? 330 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:05,265 You know what? You seem busy. 331 00:20:08,584 --> 00:20:09,626 Oh, yes! 332 00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:16,734 Oh! 333 00:20:18,135 --> 00:20:21,180 You taste as good as you look! Thanks! 334 00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:26,911 Hello? Can you stop making out and come rescue me? 335 00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:31,291 Statistically, half of them will die from sharks and exposure. 336 00:20:31,315 --> 00:20:32,774 Fuck off, Chip. 337 00:20:34,151 --> 00:20:36,546 Ladies and gentlemen 338 00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:41,092 I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Basil! 339 00:20:45,329 --> 00:20:49,267 I introduced them, you know. I know! I was fuckin' there! 340 00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:52,085 I can't believe we got stuck at the co‐workers' table. 341 00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:56,465 After she dances with her dad, we are out of here. 342 00:20:57,341 --> 00:21:01,988 Baby, I know this is bad form at a wedding, but I can't resist. 343 00:21:02,012 --> 00:21:03,865 Will you be my third wife? 344 00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:06,534 Oh, yes! Yes! 345 00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:10,062 Hey! She said yes! Sean, you're getting a new mom! 346 00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:12,981 Wow, I'm gonna kill myself. 347 00:21:13,774 --> 00:21:14,792 Okay. 348 00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:49,977 That was amazing!