NARRATOR: Welcome to "Love Island USA Unseen Bits."
You thought you'd binged enough Love Island and needed a break?
-Nonsense. -[sobbing]
NARRATOR: We've got all these stuff that was too bonkers
to stick in the regular show.
And let me tell you, that's an elite level of bonkers.
You can do it yourself [indistinct]. [giggling]
NARRATOR: As it was the Islanders final week,
we threw everything at them, including the kitchen sink.
-Oh, the twins are here. -This is the best surprise ever.
NARRATOR: It led to hard questions.
What's the difference between real milk and breast milk?
What's the big school up there that's for like smart people?
What do we do at "mommy and me" classes?
-I don't know. -NARRATOR: Powerful revelations.
Well, her carrying that baby round, man, it just turns me on.
Being a mom isn't about just coping with wine,
it's about having a community.
Who would you not let date your daughter?
Easy. Jeff. [laughing]
-[baby crying] -NARRATOR: And quite frankly,
brought them all within an inch of their sanity.
I'm taking you to the fire station. Shut up!
-[indistinct] -[laughing]
NARRATOR: And true to Love Island
-Unseen fashion-- -Uh! Ah! [laughing]
NARRATOR: We've saved the best for last.
NARRATOR: So enjoy this season's finale of--
[Islanders screaming]
NARRATOR: "Love Island USA Unseen Bits."
-[baby crying] -[Love Island theme song]
NARRATOR: It's the final week and some of
the Islanders are getting villa fever.
It's like cabin fever, but more spacious.
The producers in charge of coming up with activities for
the Islanders have been binging this
great show called Love Island,
so the Islanders have to entertain themselves.
Stand [indistinct] I'm about to get to 2000 pieces.
Oh my God! Does this turning you on?
-You're so strong. -I know.
-How do you even do that? -It's impossible. I know.
[laughing]
Whoa, dude. Whoa.
Okay. Settle down now.
-Uh-uh! -Settle down now.
No, no, no. None of that. We're in the kitchen.
-We're in the kitchen. -Come on, buddy.
[laughing]
I know you want some. [laughing] Come on. Come on, yo!
-[laughing] -[laughing]
-Fuck me! -You want it?
You want, I want it. You want it [indistinct].
[laughing] Come on, give it to me.
[laughing]
Let's get out of here.
-Fuck it! -[laughing]
NARRATOR: As well as needing a good old laugh,
some of the Islanders
seem to be in need of a release of some kind.
Yeah. We just wanna scream.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-Definitely. -A lot.
NARRATOR: Wonder if it's got anything to do with the fact
they've been groping each other for the last six weeks.
Oh, boy. Let's do it.
-Should we all do it? -I'll scream.
-All right then. -Will you?
We're just gonna get it out, Timmy?
Yeah, yeah. Close your ears.
It's a good day, so why not?
Isaiah and Syd, you gonna scream?
[giggling] Come on now. -I just need one-- --one laugh.
-Why not? -We're just gotta let it out.
All right, fine. [giggling]
Dun, dun. What do you think it's about to happen?
Is everyone gonna scream?
We are. I need to do it. It's good for me.
I like this. All right.
-Yeah. I like this. -Yeah, I really feel it.
-Mm-hmm. -All right.
I feel the energy now.
3, 2--
[clears throat]
--1.
[Islanders screaming]
[laughing].
Oh, that feels really good, you know?
-That cleared my nostrils. -That-- Yeah.
[laughing] [scoffs] [indistinct]
Yeah. He's like, "What the fuck?"
Why was everyone yelling?
I didn't hear anything.
Am I hearing voices again?
Oh my God I thought [sighs] I thought those were gone.
NARRATOR: Nothing is more uncomfortable than questioning
if you're schizophrenic.
Iain hates when that happens, and so do I.
The frog that lives in his closet.
[upbeat instrumental]
NARRATOR: it's been your average week in the Villa.
Islanders have come and gone.
Love has been won and lost.
Deb's announced that birds are robot spies
sent from the government.
Hi Charlie! Are you okay, buddy?
NARRATOR: Deb's named the bird.
Either she's chirping a different tune--
-You want a snack? NARRATOR: -or she's playing dumb
so she can take the spy as a POW--
NARRATOR: Parakeet of War.
Come here Charlie.
Charlie! Where'd he go?
Charlie, come here.
[lip smacking] Charlie?
[whistling] Charlie, look!
Charlie, don't go inside.
Charlie is the kitchen bird so he's always in the kitchen,
but he never eats any of the food.
I always leave food out for him.
NARRATOR: Ah, maybe not. -Charlie?
NARRATOR: seems like Deb is still on the "birds
are up to no good" train.
Charlie? I tried to give him some bread,
but he didn't eat it so I know for sure
[taps hands] that he is an op.
NARRATOR: And to be fair, she might be onto
something with this one.
[hard rock music] [screaming]
Hello!
Charlie? [bird chirping]
He ran into a window
and he didn't get stunned 'cause he was a robot.
[screaming] Oh my God!
Wait. Just wait, just wait. Let him get out. Let him get out.
How do I it?
No, no. Easy. He'll come out. He'll come out.
-Okay. -Charlie?
Do I walk out?
You can walk out. You can walk out.
-You're okay Zeta. You're okay. -Timmy, come me![indistinct]
-Charlie? -He's a nice guy.
Can you come get me?
I'll get you Zeta. I'll get you. Come on.
-Ooh! Come on. -Yeah. Uncle Jesse!
Oh, Charlie is brave.
Wait, wait. The coast is clear. The coast is clear.
-You're sure? -Yeah, yeah. I got you girl.
-I got you. [indistinct] you. -Yes. Come on, come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
[screaming] [laughing]
Charlie? I told Timmy I don't like birds!
[laughing] [bird chirping]
-Ooh! -There you go.
Oh! I know he was so scared.
Yeah. Where's the camera?
-Where's the camera? -It's really small.
-It's in his chest. -I am onto you, Charlie.
[bird chirping] [upbeat instrumental]
NARRATOR: Nadjha suffers from the most unusual condition,
"lost sock syndrome."
Every night she loses at least one of them.
Come on Nadjha, pull your socks up.
Oh no you can't. You've lost them.
[ominous instrumental]
Is my sock over on your side maybe?
[giggling] I found one.
NARRATOR: She's found one. [sighs]
NARRATOR: I think I saw the other one stuffed down--
[sighs] NARRATOR: --Jeff's trunks for a photo shoot.
Dude, I feel like I always like
take my socks off in the middle of the night,
but then I don't remember doing it.
[laughing]
I don't know if I just like pull 'em off.
[laughing] I don't know what I do.
Jeff, I can't find them!
NARRATOR: Any woman willing to put her head
under a man's duvet first thing in the morning
is a braver person than me.
She must really want that sock.
[ominous instrumental]
[laughing]
NARRATOR: Jeff's pretty zen about the whole thing.
You could say he's "phili-sock-ical."
Ugh! Dammit!
I don't know how my fucking sock disappeared in the bed,
but it did. [laughing]
NARRATOR: Full disclosure, I've been wearing that sock all day.
Just not on my feet.
[upbeat instrumental]
Phoebe and Mackenzie have had more
disagreements than a Republican cat and a Democrat dog.
We couldn't overload the main show with drama
because we had an excess of dessert based make outs,
and that's the bread and butter on bread.
Thank you Unseen Bits for this moment.
-Hi. Hi. -Hey. [sighs]
What's up girl?
Nothing.
Mackenzie, you wanna go for a chat really quickly?
Sure.
Shit [indistinct]. Bro?
Come on, let's go over there. [laughing]
-Shall we get a front row seat? -Look.
Let's just pretend we're laying out on the bean bags.
Yeah. Oh, laying down over here?
[giggling] You guys are fucking funny.
No, 'cause we need to be able to hear.
All right, come on. Come on.
[ominous instrumental]
[laughing]
I just really wanted to pull you because
I know like in the dressing room
I like felt a little aggressive [indistinct].
[breathes heavily]
I need some sun
Nadjha did ask me though about my feelings,
-so in that-- -I know. I know.
-[ominous instrumental] -You said something about like
I just want you to [indistinct] because like
you thought I was going [indistinct].
Well you were trying to say this either happened--
[laughing] --or didn't happen,
and I think that [ominous instrumental]
everyone has their own [indistinct]
as to what happened.
I don't think that you can speak to why Chad
didn't say anything. [laughing]
[indistinct] quiet.
[smacks lips] [laughing]
I know he's not that type of guy.
Like I have known him-- [laughing]
NARRATOR: Nadjha would make a terrible undercover operative.
Definitely can't put espionage on her resume.
Luckily Mackenzie and Phoebe are genocide or war criminals.
They're just angry and hot.
You don't know everything!
You actually have come in here and you-
you think you know all about Chad, but you don't.
I dunno all about Chad!
But that's like what you give off.
I'm not-- You're being hypocritical.
Phoebe, you're not listening.
He did not speak about a connection with you guys.
But that's not how the conversation never went.
That is how it went.
But what I'm trying to say is that my perception
of the conversation, whether you mentioned it or not,
did not come off that way for me.
What about speaking to my perspective
perspective is disrespectful, is what I'm asking?
-I never said disrespect! -You said--
No you said you disrespected me.
-You can ask the girls. -I did not say that.
I just had this kiss and like I was telling the girls about it
and then you kinda make me like take two steps back.
[smacks lips] What?
I was happy to not say a word in that room.
I'm not asking-- They're arguing.
But you're trying to make excuses for,
"Nadjha asked me. Nadjha did this."
I'm done.
Uh! [smacks lips] [ominous instrumental]
NARRATOR: It's fine. Giggle, run away.
Some call it the fountain of youth.
I really like Phoebe 'cause I would've been like,
"I'm really excited for you guys."
-Yeah. -Damn, that got spicy!
Not the yelling.
Do you feel better? I feel better.
I feel so much better.
Carry on. [Love Island theme song]
NARRATOR: Welcome back to "Love Island USA Unseen Bits."
-Happy birthday. -Thank you.
-You're welcome. -Mm.
I wanna demand pancakes.
NARRATOR: It's Mackenzie's birthday and we got her the
-best gift ever. -Yeah. Pancake.
NARRATOR: The opportunity to make breakfast for other people
with a depressed look on her face.
Yay!
["Birthday Suit" by Electrocute instrumentals]
[clapping]
* Got me in my birthday * You love pancakes
-and everything? -Yeah. Yeah.
Well, help yourselves. * Got me in my birthday *
Wow. Happy birthday!
Thank you.
Happy birthday.
-Yay! -Mm.
Happy birthday Mackenzie!
[screaming]
Damn! Who's making all these?
Yeah, I made those. Well,
you guys are welcome and they're banana chocolate chip.
Let's go!
Mm, mm, mm.
It's the best birthday breakfast ever.
-[giggling] -[laughing]
NARRATOR: Nothing says happy birthday--
NARRATOR: --like clocking in there is a diner cook.
Happy birthday Mackenzie. * You're so sexy *
* You're so cute Got me in my birthday suit *
[classical instrumental]
NARRATOR: Welcome to the annual Love Island USA Unseen Bits
water pong championship. I'm your host Iain Stirling.
Join me as we celebrate the world of water pong.
Preferred to beer pong by sober people
and dehydrated marathon runners.
All right, let's do this.
NARRATOR: Our first heated competition
is between Deb and Jessie,
[indistinct] and Jebra and Joel and Mackenzie,
who recently took the gold and their friend zone international.
Oh! [classical instrumental]
NARRATOR: Just exhilarating all the excitement
-of a cup of water-- -Oh! Oh!
NARRATOR: And then several more cups of water.
[indistinct]
NARRATOR: Joel's got one! -There we are.
NARRATOR: Normally this is when you'd rip off your jersey--
[laughing] NARRATOR: --but Joel's already shirtless.
You never thought that through Joel, did you?
Come on. Who's the [indistinct] outside?
-That's a solid contact. -Outside.
-Nice! NARRATOR: Jesse ties it up.
I don't know why children need fields
and gymnasiums when this can give them
all the exercise they need.
I could have ended up a pro water pong player but I,
uh, hurt my wrist throwing rubbish in a dustbin.
[snorts] Nice! [screaming]
[cheering and clapping] Oh, man!
NARRATOR: And they're loving the magic
of the hideaway there. [rumbling train]
Seemed like it was gonna be way more fun.
NARRATOR: We all did make Mackenzie.
There it is. [classical instrumentals]
Nice! [cheering]
Nice job! Okay. Okay.
-Nice job! -Huh! Yeah!
[laughing] That that was nice.
-That was nice. That was great! -Good job!
[laughing] Balls back.
[screaming]
I knew that was gonna come back. Come on!
-Good job guys! -All right. Yeah!
We gotta go now Deb. We gotta go.
[breathes heavily]
Yes, Deb. Yes, Deb. You got this.
Breathe. I want this for you.
[breathes heavily]
On three. Well, go!
[screaming] Let's go!
[screaming] Yeah.
NARRATOR: Well, we learned two things today.
One, the Islanders are not great at beer pong,
and two Jesse loves slapping hands. Enjoy.
[clapping and upbeat instrumental]
[clapping and upbeat instrumental] Oh!
[clapping and upbeat instrumental] Ah!
[clapping and upbeat instrumental] Uh!
All right. We got this.
[sniffs] [clapping and upbeat instrumental]
[indistinct] [clapping and upbeat instrumental]
NARRATOR: Professional editors
who failed at being professional
musicians are the best professional editors.
[clapping] [laughing]
[upbeat instrumental] Oh! Seven.
[upbeat instrumental] NARRATOR: What's bro?
Let's look at some of the bros
who bro'd the way you gotta bro, bro.
Let's start with arguably this season's ultimate bro,
"Zay-way bro."
Like, nah, bro. [beep sound]
Bro [beep sound] code [beep sound] bro. Bro?
[beep sound] Damn bro. [beep sound] Bro [beep sound] bro
[beep sound] bro [beep sound] bro
[beep sound] bro [beep sound]. Ah bro! Bro [beep sound] bro
[beep sound] bro [beep sound]. All right bro [beep sound].
bro [beep sound] bro [beep sound].
NARRATOR: Zay-way bro. Hang on bro.
Seems like you've got some last minute contenders.
You're-you're just natural bro. [beep sound]
You're gonna model bro. [beep sound]
I'm telling you. [giggling] Bro [beep sound] bro
Bro [beep sound] that shit's too easy.
Man, and you know you've gotta set your--
Yeah. --move up for the next move.
Bro [beep sound]. It's bro code, bro [beep sound].
Bro, so you know it's such a challenging
-spot bro. -So fell in love with her
[indistinct] bro and like bro [beep sound].
-Yeah bro [beep sound]. -Yeah.
Yeah. This is like life. You know what I mean?
Yeah. You get set up for [indistinct].
Bro [beep sound] code, bro [beep sound].
Like it's bro code, bro [beep sound].
Vibe bro. It's time off, bro [beep sound].
Love a vacation, bro[beep sound].
Do you not understand what a fucking
-bro [beep sound] code is? -Bro [beep sound], bro
[beep sound], bro [beep sound], bro [beep sound].
NARRATOR: Bro! It's official.
This season's ultimate "bro" is Isaiah.
Bro! [upbeat instrumental]
Bro.
The following unseen bit demonstrates
the cold hard truth,
that handsome men who look good shirtless
can completely bypass all the stuff
you're supposed to learn when you're 11.
Yeah. No much partying in [indistinct].
[laughing] Not much partying? Not much partying. Really?
Yeah, man. We ain't got no-we ain't got no clubs and shit.
What?
NARRATOR: There's a stereotype that Americans
Don't know anything about Europe.
Well, we are gonna shatter that stereotype
by showing Americans not knowing anything about America either.
What's the best school up there that's for like smart people?
Harvard, MIT.
MIT? Harvard's there too?
Yeah. Harvard and Massachusetts?
Yeah. Harvard's in Boston, bro.
I didn't know that. Oh, Harvard in Boston?
Yeah. Where's Yale at?
New Haven, Connecticut.
Oh! [indistinct] That's where Ya-Yale at?
Yeah.
I never know what them schools-- where them schools were, bro?
I didn't know that either.
That's all that New England shit. Smart.
New England is smart as fuck bro.
-Yeah. -It's insane.
How far are you from New England?
-I live in New England. -You live in New England, huh?
Massachusetts is part of New England.
-Really? -Massachusetts, New Hampshire,
-Vermont, Maine-- -That's all New England?
Connecticut, New York.
-That's all in New England? -It's-it's all New England.
-Huh? -NARRATOR: We're all witnessing
Jesse's mind breaking.
-That's all British. -Yeah.
It's like that's-- that-- that section of
the country is New England.
Technically?
Nope. Like that's what it's--
-That's what it is. --that's what it's called.
It's New England.
But how is that called New England?
Hold on. Hold on. Massachusetts is a state?
Yeah.
-Massachusetts is-- -New England is a city?
-No, New England is-is-is-- -That's a football team.
[smacks lips] He thinking about the Patriots, bro.
Oh! So it's there's really not.
But-- So they're named after a whole fucking state?
They-they're named after-named after the group of states.
-Six territories? -Yeah.
-Wow! -Or-or, I mean, I guess--
-Huh! --New-New York isn't really
considered in-in New England, but it is--
--New England kind of. Yeah. Kind of.
-What the hell? -Depending on where are you at?
-Yeah, but I mean-- -New England's not a city?
-No. -No. [laughing]
So for the longest you thought New England
is the Patriots and named after the city?
Like yeah! Patriots are in the Boston, bro.
No, they're not even in Boston.
They're in fucking Foxborough which is--
-Yeah, in Foxborough. --which is like 45 minutes
-south of Boston. -So that's the city though?
-Yeah. -Foxborough is a city for sure.
Fucking New England is six states combined!
That's funny as fuck, you thought it was a city.
[laughing] Yeah. Every other fucking football
team is the fucking city.
NARRATOR: Between the regional misunderstandings
and concussions, I think it's fair to say
that football has left a lot of people confused.
Wow! [laughing]
Should be so weird.
NARRATOR: We hope you're enjoying
"Love Island USA Unseen Bits:
The Educational Program."
Up next Mackenzie teaches string theory,
and Isaiah breaks down how fiscal policy
will change earning estimates for the Japanese
commodities market. [speaking Japanese]
What the hell?
[Love Island theme song]
[upbeat instrumental]
NARRATOR: Welcome back to "Love Island USA Unseen Bits."
This week our Islanders heard tweets about them,
but each name was replaced with a blank
and they had to guess who the tweet was about.
If you thought the challenger store was excessive,
good for you.
It was actually even better.
Here's some tweets that didn't make the cuts.
Blank just wanna have fun. Not from what I'm watching. #boring.
So it's Chad. [laughing]
The man just keeps to himself.
I'd say Chad. [laughing]
You also went with Chad. [laughing]
We've also gone with Chad. [screaming]
That just kind of shows, you know,
I'm not trying [giggling] to cause any fucking problems.
This tweet says, "The girls just wanna have fun.
Not for what I'm watching."
[laughing] Oh! "#boring."
[cheering] Damn!
Wait. So they're saying that we're boring?
Yeah. Yeah. [giggling] I'm offended.
Next tweet, "Blank is the type of F boy [upbeat instrumental]
that drunkenly marries you in Vegas
and then ghosts you the next day.
Blank deserves better."
Whoa! No, it is not Jesse.
Um, we said Jeff and Nadjha solely because
there have been a few jokes about Jeff having two phones.
Oh! [smacks lips] Oh! Oh that's fair.
Myself and, uh, Mackenzie, I don't think I am that but--
I don't think you're a fuck boy.
Isaiah and Sydney.
We said Isaiah and Sydney as well.
Isaiah just looks like a fuck boy. It's the dangly earring.
NARRATOR: Deb is great with nuance.
I bet it as good as Isaiah's poker face
what his feelings are hurt.
[inhales] We said Jeff and Nadjha.
And we said, Jessie and Deb. Full tweet,
"Isaiah is the type of F boy that will drunkenly marry you
in Vegas and then ghost you the next day.
Sydney deserves better."
Mm-hmm.
Isaiah's not a fuck boy.
[upbeat instrumental] And I have many experiences with fuck boys
and Isaiah is not one.
[giggling]
[clapping] Ooh!
She's right. [clapping]
NARRATOR: When I ask my parents about how they met,
my mom says the same thing.
Went through a mountain of F boys and then I met your dad.
[giggling] It's really touching stuff.
For this challenge that bit sucked.
And I think, you know, being called a fuckboy
isn't always the worst thing.
Saying I'm a fuckboy is [taps hands] understandable, I guess.
NARRATOR: Very mature Zay. They say F boy acceptance
is the first step to recovery.
Step two is finding yourself back in a vicious cycle
of fornicating with half strangers.
[upbeat instrumental] [indistinct]
Let's see what we have here.
It reads, "Deb, worried about Mackenzie
because she knows that her fake relationship with Jesse
is bound to collapse since it's been held together
by a smoke screen of deceit."
-With who? -Wow! Wow!
Because Mackenzie knows it's been held together?
Relationship with who?
Because Deb knows that her fake relationship
with Jesse is bound to collapse
due to the smoke screen of deceit.
-Yeah. -Therefore she is worried about
Mackenzie-- Like Deb is-- --entering the villa.
-Yeah. -Oh!
-Oh!
[indistinct] Oh!
NARRATOR: Not all of Twitter is a joyless egotistical
critique into the black hole that barely echoes
your own personal dissatisfaction.
Sometimes the tweets say nice stuff about our contestants.
"Looks like Joel and Mackenzie are
giving peanut butter and jelly vibes--
[Islanders exclaiming] -for the show of a perfect match
Oh, shit!
[Islanders exclaiming and clapping]
Whoa! Okay! NARRATOR: Could a missed
love connection be about to happen.
From the looking Joel's face, I'd say so.
-Yeah! [upbeat instrumental] -Okay, bestie.
NARRATOR: Apparently not. For all the super cool dudes at home
when a girl calls you "bestie" that's cute to
stop imagining your wedding with her in your heads.
Uh, you know, ever since Mackenzie came in,
you know, we've just-- we vibed together and I do agree.
It's a perfect match, uh, but you know, just as friends.
Yeah. I agree. I second that. I think that,
you know, we're the first ones up in the morning.
We have our little time together.
-Yeah. -Lucky to have met him.
[clapping] NARRATOR: Nothing forms and
instant bond between two people faster than
all other possibilities being unconscious.
Kiss me, truly.
Well now Joel and Mackenzie are officially BFFs,
let's take a look at how they navigated this
completely mutual decision.
-I hate the word friend zone. -Yeah.
I feel like there should be better term.
You wanna create our own word?
-Yeah. -Let's create our own word.
PB and J--
-PB and J, uh-uh? --making the sandwich.
Uh-uh. Are you peanut butter and jealous?
Oh! [laughing]
Am I the peanut butter or am I the jelly?
I feel like you're the jelly because you're sweet.
-Damn! -I'm peanut butter
because I can be crunchy.
I can be tough and crunchy or I can be smooth.
You don't think I can be smooth or crunchy or [groaning]?
[laughing]
I-I look like peanut butter.
You look like peanut butter.
I feel like I would do a good job of
sealing the edges of the sandwich.
I just think you have to be the jelly.
Peanut butter is definitely the rougher one, you know?
I can be rough.
Try to say something offensive to me.
Fuck! [laughing]
Your eyebrows are drawn in.
-Oh! -Oh!
-Burn! -Burn!
You just-you just solidified the jelly title. [indistinct]
I ate more peanut butter than you.
-Yes. -I haven't seen you
-with peanut butter once. -This is true.
I haven't eaten peanut butter once.
-So I get to be peanut butter. -Fine. I be peanut butter.
Okay. Fine. God, I'm such a pushover.
[laughing and clapping]
That laugh?
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Bro, that was sexy. You should do that again.
You know what, Joel? [laughing]
Being sexy is so overrated.
It's gonna be hard to wingman that. [laughing]
Being actually is incredibly overrated.
-It is. It is. -I just like being-
I just like being this. It's smooth and creamy.
It's smooth, creamy!
Rich and delicious.
Tomboy girly at the same time.
-Thank you. -Yeah.
Thank you. I don't feel like I get the tomboy
credit that I deserve.
Yeah. I think it-- [beatboxing]
I don't get what the was for, but I'm sure--
[laughing] Like it just seems like I'm tough.
Oh, okay. Sure. [giggling] You are tough.
Tough not to crack. [snaps fingers]
[screaming] Peanut butter.
Oh! [indistinct]
Yes! [laughing]
Got "em.
[Love Island theme song]
NARRATOR: Welcome back to "Love Island USA Unseen Bits."
Beautiful drone shots, camera operator.
But the drones aren't the only loud and
expensive liability at the villa today.
We also gave the Islanders babies.
[suckling sound]
What's the difference between real milk and breast milk?
Well, it's definitely better for the child.
-Real milk comes from a cow. -Oh! [indistinct]
Breast milk comes from a hu-human. Big difference.
Yeah. [laughing]
-It's a fair point. -Yeah.
[upbeat instrumental] NARRATOR: Nice to see the
Islanders are learning parents and basics.
Having a baby led to walk their memory lane for Timmy and Zeta.
And baby, this is where dad recoupled with me.[laughing]
This is where your mother licked honey off of another man.
Why she would do that? Is that what you said?
Why would she? I don't know Nine. [laughing]
It was also the villa where your dad
gave lots of energy to another woman.
-Oh wow! -And, you know,
they got recoupled with each other.
NARRATOR: But it wasn't a walk in the park for everyone.
[baby crying]
-You're so annoying. -[baby crying]
I'm taking you to the fire station! Shut up!
NARRATOR: Luckily there are support systems for parents:
alcohol, tax fraud, noise canceling headphones.
The Islanders went with a more wholesome approach,
"mommy and me class."
[upbeat instrumental] Hey, it's been weeks since I last saw you.
-Hey. Yeah. -That was
your kids' soccer practice.
The last time I saw you was what? Last week at Pilates.
Oh, yeah. Pilates is nice.
It's so nice having a support system,
and, you know, that's what we are.
Oh, the twins are here. [laughing]
All the girls are just one big support system.
Especially during these-these difficult times
of being new mothers, you know?
[upbeat instrumental] What do we do at mommy and me classes?
I don't know. I have no idea. I've never been to one.
All right, I'll go first. Hi.
Oh, hi. What's-what's his name?
-Tucker Ray Robinson. [inhales] -Ooh!
Wow! Tucker Ray Robinson.
[indistinct] This is the best surprise ever.
Aww!
FML [sighs] twins. This is Ace.
Hi Ace.
He's 20 minutes older than Alaila here.
-I can see, you know? -He's definitely the more needy
one out of the two.
-Ace is like is his dad. -Mm-hmm.
She can just chill like this on her back all day.
Just like her mother.
Ooh! An independent bad bitch.
Yep. I'm struggling to keep my eyes open. I'm exhausted.
This is, um, Violet Rose.
-Hi violet. -Hi violet.
She was whopping nine pounds when I pushed her out.
-Wow! Yeah. -Whoa!
This is Nine. [indistinct]
Ooh! That is the cutest name I have ever heard.
This is Bill.
Hey Bill Bill Chubbs Bray.
Ooh! Oh, his middle nine is Chubbs?
Yes, we couldn't let go of my last name, but we just decided.
-You look so cute. -Bill is gonna be an athlete.
We're gonna start him young.
He is very dense already,
-just like his mom and dad. -Wow! Wow!
NARRATOR: Dense? That's harsh. The baby was just born,
what were you expecting Deb? A mechanical engineer?
He was born with a six pack.
[baby crying] Shut up!
[baby crying]
Why are you so fussy Bill?
Let's talk about the real things that
no one really talks about that we're going through.
You know, motherhood's been tough and I need to
remind myself just that wine is not always the answer,
you know? Everyone's always like,
"Have the glass of wine. Have a glass of wine."
But then I find myself hammered at 4:00 PM.
And I think that's probably the most important thing.
-Oh my God! [indistinct] -That being a mom
isn't about just coping with wine, it's about having a-
a community like you guys. Really it is.
To talk about and-- I need a moment.
--to just to distract myself from the need to dream.
Same time next week, Friday.
Anybody going to Pilates this week?
I'll probably be there on Wednesday.
I'll probably be at Pilates.
Yeah. I can't work out.
I just had my tummy tucked after having twins., you know?
You're still recovering from your mom-- your tummy tuck?
Yeah. These twins took it outta me.
-My vagina ripped to my ass. -Oh!
I'll be recovered in like eight weeks.
Okay. Fair enough.
[upbeat instrumental]
NARRATOR: After a day of parenting
all Islanders got together
and did exactly what we raised our children not to do, drink,
curse and criticize each other.
I feel like you guys are almost like the black and white
version of each other. [laughing]
In a way. Can't you kind of see it a little bit?
-Like looks wise or like-- -No, no. They don't look alike.
-Kind of-- they kind of do! -I guess they kind of do.
They kind of do look alike though. [laughing]
Both shredded, both huge.
Okay. Be serious. Serious faces.
-Nah. -Smile.
Smile.
Like they're both someone like I would let date my daughter.
-Oh! [laughing] -Oh, man! Thanks.
-I would. -I appreciate that, man.
I would. I appreciate that.
Who would you not let date your daughter?
Easy. Jeff. [laughing]
What? Date your daughter?
-Hell no! -Which girl would not?
-Wouldn't let me date? -No.
-Why? -Because you got two phones.
[laughing] [crosstalk]
Which girl in the villa would you not let date your son?
Girl!
-Wouldn't date my daughter? -Phoebe. [laughing]
And then what guy would you not love date your daughter?
Probably Joel. She gonna-- he gonna bore her to death.
[laughing] Damn, bro!
-Isaiah, your turn. -I'll come back to you. Sydney?
I think the guy would be Timmy.
The guy? Really? Interesting.
-Let's see. Um! -Girl.
You. [laughing]
Okay.
-Okay. Year turn Joel. -Phoebe and Chad.
-Wow! [laughing] -Phoebe and Chad. Okay.
-What about you Jesse? -Phoebe and Chad.
-Phoebe and Chad? Really? -Yeah.
-What are y'all talking about? -Chad's a little odd,
but like I'd let him date my daughter. [laughing]
Yeah. That's fucked up. [ominous instrumental]
NARRATOR: Well, Nadjha took a poll and figured out
who the least exemplary Islanders are.
Now she's going to confront them.
Wait, unsolicited drama stirring in the form of a game.
I'm sorry. Nadjha, who gave you permission to
the job of the British producers that run this TV show?
I'm not gonna lie. Everyone so far has said you're the most--
-Yeah. -That they wouldn't let!
Wouldn't let their daughter date you. [giggling]
-Why? -All the guys
have said you so far.
That's good for me. [giggling]
I think someone said Joel.
Um, a girl?
-Why-why would you-- -At point I'm getting--
--why would you choose-- --the winner on that one.
-Me? -Yes.
Like that. Did that like,
-"Phoebe, Phoebe." -Why?
-I don't know why. Yeah. -Why me though?
-I don't know. -I don't know either.
-I didn't say that. -Don't--
I'm perfect for any person solid.
I was confused.
-I was like, "Me?" -Who said me?
Did Jeff--
-Did you say Phoebe? -I said Phoebe.
Jesse said Phoebe. Joel said Phoebe. Isaiah said me.
I wonder what they think.
-Am I like too smart maybe? -Probably.
No guy is wanting a stupid girl.
[smacks lips] Hold up. Why have I not been said more?
[laughing] [sobbing]
["Sexalicious" by DaTree] * The freak inside is *
NARRATOR: Welcome back to "Love Island USA Unseen Bits."
Due to a rigorous schedule of making out on patio furniture
and being denied books and films,
the Islanders vocabularies have being reduced.
But they're having fun. * Aw *
NARRATOR: It's a fair trade off, if you ask me.
That's the way the cookie crumbles.
Yeah, it's good for a little bit,
but eventually like the cookie starts to crumbles.
-Because of? -It's how the cookie crumbles.
It's how the cookie crumbles in this beach.
It's literally just like how your specific cookie crumble.
Right. Just how the cookie crumbled.
It's how the cookie crumbled, you know?
Yeah, bro. [ominous instrumental]
NARRATOR: Sometimes their communication skills regress
so severely they invent their own language!
It's a common side effect of being isolated
in the same vacation rental for long periods.
[indistinct]
NARRATOR: Young men speaking a strange language
and changing in front of me will always remind me
of the youth hostel where I got my Blackberry stolen.
[laughing] -What is that? -It's our own language, bro.
NARRATOR: Oh, no! Timmy is curious.
Timmy, step away from the obscure villa dialect before you
sprain a tongue. [indistinct]
[laughing]
It's so hard! But where is it derived from?
Just being an advanced species.
Oh! No other way to look at it but--
[indistinct] I can say it.
Yeah, like that. [laughing]
[indistinct] He sounds like that with like a smidge of stitch.
[giggling] Say-- the best one to do is to say Phoebe in that.
That's how you know you can do it.
-Phoebere. -What the fuck?
That-that was good.
You say it. You say it. [indistinct]
[giggling] Say Phoebe though. Say Phoebe.
That's not-that's not Phoebe.
[laughing] I was about say that.
All right. Okay. [indistinct] Hair conditioner.
[indistinct] [laughing]
I don't know what the fuck you're doing. He's rapping.
He's-- He's trying. He's trying. He's rapping.
He's trying, he just needs to try harder.
Yeah, see! [taps hands] That was a good one.
That was actually really good.
I put [indistinct] in the closet [indistinct] in my [indistinct]
[laughing]
You put your shirt in your closet?
Yeah. [laughing]
NARRATOR: That language is weirding me out.
I'm just a regular guy trying to make jokes while
watching a footage of young men changing their bedroom.
NARRATOR: Let's just be normal, please!
-Oh, that looks Way better. -Way better [indistinct].
-Way better? -Yeah.
[indistinct] [upbeat instrumental]
NARRATOR: Speaking of creative ways to use your mouth--
Islanders, tonight the hideaway is open.
Nadjha and Jeff!
[Islanders chanting Nadjha and Jeff]
NARRATOR: The Islanders picked Nadjha
and Jeff to spend the night in the hideaway.
[clapping]- Hideaway! -Yeah, hideaway.
To the hideaway, yeah.
NARRATOR: And Jeff grabbed a carton of milk,
which is but his sexier beverage choice is clam chowder.
What? [cheering and clapping]
NARRATOR: I would rather become a professional crocodile
dentist than chug milk before a hot date.
Very counterintuitive Jeffrey.
[cheering and clapping] [crosstalk]
-He took the whole 2% milk! -I don't--
-What's that about? -He's-he's pour--
It's the milk!
He's gonna pour milk on her ass.
Is that what he-he's joking about?
[sighs] -Yeah. What a joker! -He's not joking.
He's not boring it on Nadjha's bum?
I mean, I really think it would be like actually
a disjustice if we didn't use this pole.
I'm feeling like Magic Mic energy
Magic Mic? Uh!
* Show me what you got Show me what you got *
Uh! Ooh! Yes! [laughing]
[ominous instrumental] I should put some oil on.
NARRATOR: Like that [indistinct] of brag,
it's not a laughing matter.
A great stop stripper is a broken femur waiting to happen.
Just ask my close colleague,
sugar cookie. * Give it me *
* I know it 4th of July we're on the [indistinct] *
How would you like? * [indistinct] *
What the fuck? [laughing]
I give up.
You're doing so good.
[upbeat instrumental]
NARRATOR: It's the final week at the villa,
and if you need further proof
that the Islanders are going stir crazy
here's Deb drinking and talking to empty chairs.
-Just sit here by myself. NARRATOR: Like my poorly
poorly received one man show about my hemorrhoid operation.
I guess all my friends are probably wondering
why I've gathered you guys here today.
It's just an honor to be with all of you and
just to really get to share this experience with each
and every one of you.
It's not every day [ominous instrumental]
that you are thrown into a villa for the summer
and are surrounded by such amazing people.
But, you know, I truly am just [inhales]
just really happy and honored to be here. So
cheers to all of you guys.
Thanks for being around and so supportive of me
and just understanding.
That's all I could ask for from such a great group of people.
[ominous instrumental] Cheers to you all!
NARRATOR: Those poor chairs! Four legs,
but none of them can run away.
Where the fuck is everyone?
[Love Island theme song]
[upbeat instrumental]
NARRATOR: Well, this is it. -Oh man!
NARRATOR: The final segment of "Love Island USA Unseen Bits."
This is for real!
NARRATOR: It's been six weeks of love and heartache.
I'm not this girl.
NARRATOR: Joy and sorrow,
pride and shame. [cheering and clapping]
NARRATOR: And pride and shame. Did I mention pride and shame?
NARRATOR: But in all seriousness--
Well, I get them over there. * [indistinct] *
NARRATOR: --Love Island is all about finding love so
I can't think of a more
appropriate way to wrap things up--
[indistinct] [laughing]
NARRATOR: Than by Islanders shoving food in their mouths
and throwing it up.
[vomiting sound]
NARRATOR: It's okay to cry. It's a gag reflex.
[laughing] Oh, shit! I love marshmallow.
So lovey dovey is a game
where you can see how many marshmallows
you can fit in your mouth.
Chubby bunny but Love Island version.
-Ooh! -Oh!
-So, yeah. -Lovey dovey. I get it.
We're gonna go around. We're gonna see--
--we can fit the most in their mouth.
[laughing] Well, let's get into it.
-Okay. Okay. -I'll start it off.
Sydney's gonna start!
Okay.
Lovey dovey one. [classical instrumental]
Yeah. [laughing]
[indistinct] I shouldn't even say it.
Come on. [laughing]
It's big! [laughing]
Hey, you got two. You got two.
[classical instrumental]
There you go. [laughing]
-Here you go. You got three. -Yeah. Okay.
[laughing] Mm!
You got four of those [indistinct] mouth.
[classical instrumental]
-Mm, mm. -Yeah, yeah.
Five. Good job!
[classical instrumental] [laughing]
Okay. Wow! [laughing]
That's six. Come on, you're on six!
Sydney?
[laughing] [spitting sound]
Okay, okay, okay.
[clapping] Oh! What the fuck?
I was choking on it.
Oh, shit! [laughing]
All right. Deborah.
[laughing] [classical instrumental]
[indistinct] Lovey dovey.
You gotta love it. She got a method to it.
-Yeah. -Lovey dovey.
[laughing] Lovey dovey.
Yeah, yeah. [laughing]
-You're on four. [laughing] -It's hard, bro.
-Come on Deborah. -Lovey dovey. Lovey dovey.
Five. [indistinct]
-Lovey dovey. -Yeah.
[classical instrumental]
Lovey dovey. [laughing]
Oh! Oh!
Lovey dovey. [laughing]
Oh! Oh my gosh, Deb! Look at them cheeks!
Lovey dovey. Is that eight?
[screaming] I can't watch!
[laughing] Wow!
Good job.
Eight. [laughing]
Wow!
Let's see Isaiah. The Zay-way.
-Oh, I guess the best for last? -Yeah. Come on.
Yeah. [clapping] Come on. Jesse is best for last, I guess.
Okay, okay. Okay. Let's see your technique.
[classical instrumental]
-Lovey dovey. -Good job.
-Lovey dovey. -Two.
[giggling] Oh, that's a good technique!
Yeah. Lovey dovey.
-Yeah. -Lovey dovey.
Come on. Yeah. Look at him.
He get his talk perfectly.
Mm-hmm. Lovey dovey.
-You're like a hamster. -Lovey dovey.
-It's just-- -Lovey dovey.
-How are you doing that? -Lovey dovey.
Nine.
-Lovey dovey -Yeah.
Mm. Look at him.
Lovey dovey. [giggling]
You got ten, bro. It's 11.
Mm! Damn!
-Wow! -You can fill a whole lot.
-Lovey dovey. -What about you?
Man! [giggling]
-Lovey dovey. -Look at him! [indistinct]
[laughing] Lovey dovey.
Like that is too much! [laughing]
Come on [indistinct]. Lovey dovey.
[laughing]
Wow! You can fit one.
He's got in his the upper lip too!
-Lovey dovey. -15!
[laughing] [mumbling]
[vomiting sound] Ew!
-Let me see. -How many were there?
Wow!
!11, 12, 13-- --14, 15.
15! [crosstalk]
-All right. -Come on.
-Get 16 baby. -All right.
NARRATOR: And now the final round of Lovey dovey.
The last moments of Love Islands USA Unseen Bits.
Let's see if Mr. Quiet has the biggest mouth.
Check it away, Jesse.
Let's get it started. Let's get it started.
-Yeah. [indistinct] -Lovey dovey.
-Okay. -Uh-uh.
Lovey Dovey. [giggling]
It doesn't even look like you have a many.
-Lovey dovey. -Okay. Three.
I'm fucking fantastic. Love dovey.
-Four. -Yeah, four.
Love dovey. [laughing]
And those are stretchy. You look you have a[indistinct].
He looks like he has a swollen face.
-Ew! -Lovey dovey.
Lovey dovey. [indistinct]
Lovey dovey. Lovey dovey. Lovey dovey. Lovey dovey.
[ominous instrumental]
Lovey dovey. [evil laughter]
Oh my God! You look like a [indistinct]
[scoffs] [ominous instrumental] [laughing]
Lovey dovey. [indistinct]
[laughing]
I can't look at all [indistinct].
Lovey dovey.
[ominous instrumental] Lovey dovey.
[laughing] Don't joke. [laughing]
[mumbling] Lovey dovey.
14.
-Lovey dovey. -15.
-God, he's tired!
Yeah, for the winner. [laughing]
Come on. Give up. That's it. [ominous instrumental]
-Lovey dovey. -Ooh!
Lovey dovey.
-16. -Oh!
-Winner, winner chicken dinner. -Yeah. [clapping]
[indistinct] [laughing].
NARRATOR: And the winner is Jesse.
Can you believe he gets a hundred grand for that?
-Iain? -What?
That's tomorrow show.
Oh, right! Apparently that's tomorrow's show. Sorry.
-[ominous instrumental] -[laughing] Love dovey.
-Lovey dovey champ! -Lovey dovey baby!
[ominous instrumental]
NARRATOR: And that's it. "Love Island USA Unseen Bits"
is headed back into hibernation. [sobbing]
NARRATOR: Summer is coming to a close
and so it's time to put the bathing suit
and scuba gear you never use deep into your closet
behind your half-hearted vinyl collection
and the robot vacuum that scares your dog.
Until next year, the villa will be here waiting for you.
And by here, I mean, whatever place
that isn't an island we randomly call an island.
[ominous instrumental]
I am Iain Stirling, so long America.