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["Vegas Wedding Bells" playing]
2
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,502
- [bride giggles]
- [photographer] Smile.
3
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:29,298
I, Maxine Horton, take you... [sighs]
4
00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:33,218
...Douglas Darby Dellacorte Simmons,
to be my lawfully wedded husband.
5
00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:38,765
To have and to hold from this day
until all the tomorrows to come.
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[inhales deeply]
Until death doth tear us asunder.
7
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:44,730
You're up, pal.
8
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[grunts]
9
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Uh... [chuckles, breathes deeply]
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00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,030
"My dear Maxine.
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As I was watching you sleep last night,
12
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I got to thinking
as to how sometimes in my past...
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00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:06,126
I was a person
who I didn't like very much."
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[gasps]
15
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:12,216
"But with you and Jack,
I feel like I'm getting a fresh start."
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[door opens]
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[stammers] I've been, um--
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00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:21,016
I've been calling the baby Jack
after my father Jack.
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[stammers] Is that all right?
20
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- It's perfect.
- [chuckles]
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- We're having a baby. [chuckles]
- Congratulations.
22
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,901
Oh, thank you.
We're doing things a little out of order.
23
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- [chuckles]
- This is Vegas.
24
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,947
- You ain't my first shotgun wedding.
- [Douglas sighs]
25
00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:37,282
- No loaded gun here.
- [chuckles]
26
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:45,374
Oh, shit! [stammers]
27
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[Douglas] This is ridiculous.
Why are we waiting for the pool boy?
28
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Robert is Norma's plus-one.
He'll be here any minute.
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00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:56,718
We can't afford a plus-one.
We can't afford this car.
30
00:02:56,718 --> 00:03:00,430
We can't afford anything.
Stupid frozen assets!
31
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:04,017
Goddamn Perry and his stupid condos.
[groans] Shit.
32
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:07,145
Douglas,
I told you we are gonna be just fine.
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00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:08,981
Look... [chuckles]
...I sent out Norma's invitations.
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00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:12,192
And I told you
a party is not a business plan.
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I've depleted
all the Dellacorte accounts, Max.
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- [Maxine] And I told you...
- [breathes heavily]
37
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,408
[Maxine] ...before you told me,
this isn't just a party.
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This is how the estate makes money.
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00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:23,620
Just trust me.
40
00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:33,630
Dinah. What-- Are you all right?
41
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No, I am not all right.
The Feds got Perry.
42
00:03:39,178 --> 00:03:40,721
A man in a fedora came to our house
43
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:43,515
and snatched him right off the street
in broad daylight.
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[Maxine] My goodness, I'm so sorry.
45
00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:47,644
[Dinah] You finally got what you wanted.
46
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,105
You took me out of the running.
47
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:54,193
No one wants to fete a volunteer
whose husband is locked up in Sing Sing.
48
00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:57,070
No one's trying to take anyone out.
Dinah, I promise.
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00:03:57,070 --> 00:04:02,326
You'll get yours, both of you.
I told Perry to sing, sing like a canary.
50
00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:05,204
Whoa, whoa, Dinah. Why would you say that?
51
00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:09,124
The fact of the matter is, Douglas knew
nothing about anything. Zilch.
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00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:11,752
I was involved in that business
for a sum total of five minutes--
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00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,629
Save it for the FBI.
54
00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:16,673
I can't be late for this funeral.
55
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They're teeming with eligible bachelors.
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I have my future to think of.
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Okay.
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00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,477
That was sad.
59
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,604
- [door closes]
- [chuckles]
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00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:33,690
- [Douglas] Maxine?
- Yeah?
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00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:38,612
I might not know nothing.
62
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:44,368
What does... [stammers] ...that mean exactly?
To "not know nothing"?
63
00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:47,704
I might have greased some palms.
64
00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:54,002
[pants] Oh, no. We're dead.
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[chuckles]
66
00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,843
We're dead. [sighs]
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00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,444
[bagpipes playing]
68
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:31,039
Are we the only family in America
that has a backyard cemetery?
69
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,000
Hardly.
70
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,547
- Is this seat taken? [giggling]
- Yeah-- No, be my guest.
71
00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:41,466
Dinah Donahue... [chuckles]
72
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,887
- ...née Helmscott, née Crescott.
- [grunts] Axel. Axel, uh, Rosenhips.
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00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:47,264
- [gasps] Oh, of the Cincinnati Rosenhips?
- [stammers]
74
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:49,433
- Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
- [Dinah] Oh, I love them.
75
00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:54,855
- Greased palms? How? Vaseline? Spittle?
- It's the cost of doing business.
76
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,149
If you want to launch something,
you gotta spread it around.
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00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:58,525
"It" meaning our money.
78
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,360
Technically, it's Norma's money.
79
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:02,654
[Maxine] S-Spread? Spread to who?
80
00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:06,116
Oh, I gave checks
to six city council members, an expediter,
81
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:10,412
someone from the planning commission,
four of Pinky's associates.
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00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:12,289
Although I don't know what they do.
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00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,958
The Feds will be speaking to him next.
84
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,087
I hope he has the balls
to keep his mouth shut.
85
00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:29,223
Well, it's all yours after today.
86
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,934
And maybe Dad'll come haunt you.
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00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:36,230
I think I know your father
better than you.
88
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:38,023
[feminists chattering]
89
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,400
[gasps]
90
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:42,694
Oh, for heaven's sake.
91
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:48,325
Hi. My girls. Oh, my God. You came.
92
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:52,538
[Rita] We wouldn't abandon a sister
in her hour of need.
93
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:54,957
Thank you. [breathes deeply] Thank you.
94
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:58,043
And I'm-- I'm glad you came too.
95
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,505
It's a funeral. My condolences.
96
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:05,050
[sighs] Well,
I'm gonna need you all to help me keen.
97
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,218
- Righteous.
- [sighs]
98
00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:07,719
Keen? What's keen?
99
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,930
[sighs] Back in the old days,
100
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:14,142
Celtic women would come together
and wail over the dead.
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00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,686
They let it all out.
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00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:17,521
- [Sylvia] Oh.
- And trust me,
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there is nothing these WASPs hate more
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than a woman expressing her feelings
in public.
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- So we'll give it to them.
- [Sylvia weeping, wailing]
106
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Sweetie. S-Sweetie, we're gonna wait
till Evelyn finishes speaking.
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No, no. She's not--
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- Her husband ships out tomorrow.
- [weeping continues]
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To Vietnam? [gasps] Fuck.
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Sylvia, we won't let this happen.
111
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- Do you hear me?
- Okay. Okay.
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- [bagpipes continue playing]
- [Evelyn clears throat]
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Life is unpredictable.
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00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:52,681
We never know when the ones we love
will be taken from us.
115
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:58,103
Even after a long illness,
the unexpected can still occur.
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00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,479
Fibrosis.
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00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,564
[bagpipes stop]
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00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:03,233
That certainly seemed true
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00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:08,322
when that unlucky bullet struck my Skeet,
lo those 20 years ago.
120
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:14,578
And though, blessedly, he hung on these
last two decades, it wasn't easy for us.
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00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:18,999
His pain, his anger,
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00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:25,005
his increasingly bizarre reading choices.
[stammers]
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00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:31,303
But as you veterans know,
shrapnel can travel.
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00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,640
It might have taken 20 years
125
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,351
for that assassin's bullet
to hit its mark.
126
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:40,354
But I have consulted with my lawyers,
127
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and they've assured me there's
no statute of limitations on murder.
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00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:46,985
- [Linda sighs]
- [Virginia] Hmm?
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00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,154
[Evelyn]
I'm only comforted by the knowledge
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00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:51,615
that whomever pulled that trigger
131
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:55,661
is sure to be shaking
in their cheap cardboard shoes
132
00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:58,372
at the thought of life behind bars.
133
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,583
Did your stepmother
just accuse you of murder?
134
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:05,629
She's just twisting the knife.
She's got nothing.
135
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:11,552
And now,
in keeping with Rollins tradition,
136
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:14,263
let us don our ceremonial tartans,
137
00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:18,225
{\an8}partake of the haggis buffet,
and as the bagpipes play,
138
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:22,271
a new leader of the Rollins clan
will be installed.
139
00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:23,856
[bagpipes playing]
140
00:09:23,856 --> 00:09:24,940
Huzzah!
141
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:27,693
What is she talking about?
142
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:33,574
Nah, it's just a fancy way of saying
we all put on kilts and read Skeet's will.
143
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,659
Kilts? What do you mean kilts?
144
00:09:35,659 --> 00:09:39,705
Hmm. The ceremonial Rollins tartan.
I brought mine.
145
00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:42,708
What? [stammers]
Douglas, this is my milieu.
146
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:46,461
And I'm standing here
caught like a high heel in sod. Paws.
147
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:49,923
[groaning]
148
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,551
[jazz music playing]
149
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,852
- [Robert] I forgot to pack my shirt.
- In the cupboard.
150
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,315
Have you never borrowed a lover's shirt?
151
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:11,028
- No.
- One of life's greatest pleasures.
152
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:12,905
Please, help yourself.
153
00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:22,414
I was unaware of your Scottish heritage.
You are full of surprises.
154
00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:26,460
[chuckles]
Well, it's a-- it's a weird family thing.
155
00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:30,923
- The kilt, I mean.
- Not your family?
156
00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:34,843
No, not my family.
But expected at a funeral, you know?
157
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:37,763
How well my shirt fits you.
158
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:41,475
Thank you.
159
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,436
Would you like me to come with you?
160
00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:46,021
To the funeral?
161
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:49,775
No.
162
00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:55,072
I would very much like to come with you.
163
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,658
Yeah,
but people there wouldn't understand.
164
00:10:58,242 --> 00:10:59,910
It's not your place.
165
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:03,622
Robert, a prince can go anywhere he likes.
166
00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:06,583
[whispers] And I'd like to go with you.
167
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,254
I already have a date.
168
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:14,216
Hmm. We'll make it--
how do the Americans say-- a double?
169
00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:17,845
I'll bring the princess,
and you will wear my shirt.
170
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:22,474
I will be all over you,
and nobody will know.
171
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,768
Isn't that wonderful?
172
00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:26,937
Yeah.
173
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:31,942
Who is this date?
Seems I must challenge her to a duel.
174
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:33,735
Mmm.
175
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,866
[Maxine] You keep leaving me in the dark.
176
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,951
I was set up, Maxine, I swear.
177
00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:43,453
Pinky, Perry, that fucking prince,
they played me.
178
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:46,582
- [sighs]
- Pardon me, I'd hoped you'd be here.
179
00:11:46,582 --> 00:11:48,667
My RSVP.
180
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:52,379
And I appreciate
your continued discretion.
181
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:55,632
I look forward to being your emcee.
182
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:56,842
[Norma mumbles]
183
00:11:56,842 --> 00:12:01,054
- I'll take that.
- [stammers, sighs] Fine.
184
00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:04,391
- How much?
- Five thousand.
185
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,476
Oh, that's a heck of a lot
of appreciation.
186
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:09,021
What kind of pies is that guy piping into?
187
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:11,481
At least one
of our business plans is working.
188
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:14,193
- Don't be mean, Maxine.
- You don't be mean.
189
00:12:14,193 --> 00:12:16,236
You forgot to tell me
about the stupid sash.
190
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:22,409
[sighs] Oh, my condolences, Evelyn.
That was an interesting eulogy.
191
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:23,911
Thank you, Douglas.
192
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,329
I'm so, so sorry.
193
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:27,789
I received your little invite in the mail.
194
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:29,958
You did? Wonderful.
195
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:34,213
Is it? You seem to have lost
my name as cochair. [chuckles]
196
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:39,343
Well, Norma already did the invites.
I just simply sent 'em along as is.
197
00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:43,222
Mm-hmm. Hmm. And what have you got there?
198
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:47,684
It's an RSVP to Norma's Beach Ball.
199
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,146
- So why isn't Norma holding it?
- Yeah. [chuckles]
200
00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:55,150
I was just about to pop it
right into her little side basket.
201
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:59,112
- Well, we'll be off.
- Why don't you leave Norma with me?
202
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,489
It would be a great comfort
203
00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:03,492
to have a dear old friend
by my side as I greet the mourners.
204
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:06,995
[people chattering]
205
00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:10,332
Axel, care for creamed corn? Tapioca?
206
00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:12,000
Yeah, tapioca. Yeah.
207
00:13:13,919 --> 00:13:16,922
She's gonna be bummed when she realizes
they're only serving haggis.
208
00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:20,592
Well, well. The man and woman of the hour.
209
00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:22,761
[Maxine] Ann. [chuckles]
210
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:25,138
I wasn't expecting to see you today.
211
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,517
Oh, I'd never miss a funeral.
It's where all the real action is.
212
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:31,019
- [Douglas chuckles]
- [Ann] Care to comment, Doug?
213
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,398
- About what?
- As reported in the Miami Herald,
214
00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:36,859
your old school chum
has gone down in flames.
215
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:41,738
Were you aware of Donahue's, hmm,
less-than-kosher business practices?
216
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:43,907
Douglas had no idea.
He was barely involved.
217
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:47,244
Oh. According to sources,
you demanded to be named partner.
218
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:49,496
[Douglas] What sources?
219
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:57,212
[emcee] Men, grab your kilts.
Ladies, grab your sashes.
220
00:13:57,212 --> 00:14:00,215
T-minus 30 to the will reading.
221
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:02,843
- That man loves a countdown.
- [Maxine chuckles]
222
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:06,138
Well, if you'll excuse me, ladies,
I am going to go get changed.
223
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:14,062
- Ann... [chuckles] ...we're friends, right?
- Are we?
224
00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:17,774
[inhales] I don't want you to write
anything about my husband's involvement
225
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:19,651
with the Perry Donahue business.
226
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,069
So he was involved?
227
00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:24,281
Douglas, he is a wonderful man.
228
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:28,577
And he's like a child
in all the ways that count.
229
00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:32,623
And he's truly-- He's just very trusting.
230
00:14:32,623 --> 00:14:33,999
Do you know what I'm saying?
231
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:37,878
Here in Palm Beach, Maxine,
we're all part of the club...
232
00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:39,546
- Oh.
- ...till the worm turns.
233
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,715
Then it's every man for himself.
234
00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:46,803
[whispers] "Worm turns"?
235
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,976
[person] My appreciation, Norma.
236
00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:54,520
Thank you, Theodore.
237
00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:58,732
- My condolences, Evelyn.
- [Evelyn] Thank you.
238
00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:04,613
I see that grin.
Are you planning something?
239
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,156
Maybe.
240
00:15:06,657 --> 00:15:10,953
Good for you. Women like us
have to stay one step ahead.
241
00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:12,871
- Am I right?
- [scoffs]
242
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:14,456
Men are so unpredictable.
243
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,874
[groans, scoffs]
244
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:22,506
Norma, I'm so sorry I'm late.
I can explain.
245
00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:26,969
My condolences. I met your husband once,
and he was a great man.
246
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,428
Uh, it depends on who you ask.
247
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:32,015
Oh, hello. Who do we have here?
248
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:35,269
[Robert] Allow me to introduce you
to His Royal Highness,
249
00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:38,522
Prince of Luxembourg
and the Princess Stephanie.
250
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:43,235
- An honor.
- The honor is all mine.
251
00:15:43,235 --> 00:15:44,611
[Ann] Smile.
252
00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:46,655
[shutter clicks]
253
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,242
No photo!
254
00:15:50,242 --> 00:15:54,955
These men got rich sending boys
to war like your husband, Sylvia.
255
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:58,166
So now let's use their fortune
to help save him.
256
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:01,044
So, we're just gonna take things
from the house? Isn't that stealing?
257
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:02,921
No, it's liberating.
258
00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:06,508
We gotta get him to Canada. And nothing
would make Daddy more proud.
259
00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:10,012
In the orangery-- Go to that room.
It has a blue vase.
260
00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:13,599
- That's the Ming. It's worth $25,000.
- Holy shit.
261
00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:14,850
- Yeah.
- Also, what's an orangery?
262
00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:18,562
- It's a room with all the oranges.
- It's Florida. They're in every room.
263
00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:20,355
If you go to Dad's study,
264
00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,816
there's an armoire
that has his watch collection.
265
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,736
The Patek Philippe is the one
that stopped working the day my mom died.
266
00:16:25,736 --> 00:16:27,154
Okay, so I want the one that's broken.
267
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,530
- That's the most valuable?
- Exactly.
268
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,240
[Sylvia exhales deeply]
269
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,783
Now, Virginia, if you go--
270
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:34,244
I'm not robbing your dead daddy
at his own funeral.
271
00:16:34,912 --> 00:16:37,956
- [sighs] All you have to do is go in--
- I'm not gonna get a slap on the wrist.
272
00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:39,458
They're gonna cuff me.
273
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,002
I didn't think of it that way.
274
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,962
- [stammers, sighs]
- Of course you didn't.
275
00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:46,381
Look, if you really want to help us,
spare us this treasure hunting.
276
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:48,342
- Just write us a check.
- The check will get traced.
277
00:16:48,342 --> 00:16:50,344
- [scoffs]
- This way you can just pawn it for cash.
278
00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:51,553
We need to move.
279
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:53,931
I need a drink.
280
00:16:57,476 --> 00:17:00,187
His family's in oil
going back generations.
281
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,605
- Smart move on your part.
- [gasps]
282
00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:03,524
- Thank you.
- Always good to have a backup plan.
283
00:17:03,524 --> 00:17:05,025
- Raquel, hi.
- [chuckles]
284
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:07,027
Can I just steal you for a minute?
285
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:08,987
Dinah, I'm so glad you met someone.
286
00:17:09,488 --> 00:17:11,906
- Hello, Axel.
- Hi.
287
00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:13,534
You haven't touched your haggis.
288
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,124
- [Sylvia] Oh, man, seriously?
- [footfalls]
289
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,800
Your husband is a seasoned criminal.
290
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:33,095
- [scoffs]
- What do you do-- let's just say--
291
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:37,224
Pinky were to find himself
in trouble again?
292
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:40,060
Well, that depends on exactly
what kind of trouble.
293
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,857
Let's just say-- again--
it would be the sort of trouble
294
00:17:44,857 --> 00:17:48,151
that might land someone
in the slammer for 20 years to life.
295
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,155
You want to avoid the clink?
296
00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:59,037
You got two options.
You pay up or you trade up.
297
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:00,706
Pay up, meaning?
298
00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:05,169
Bribes to police, lawyers' fees,
bribes to the judges.
299
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:07,421
- Mmm.
- Easily half a million.
300
00:18:07,421 --> 00:18:11,300
Oh. The trade-up option is?
301
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:15,095
If the police have a little fish,
you throw them a whale.
302
00:18:16,555 --> 00:18:19,016
What if one has neither finances nor fish?
303
00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:24,563
Well, then you're fucked.
Speaking of, here's your ball check.
304
00:18:24,563 --> 00:18:27,691
Oh, Norma's ball check. [stammers]
305
00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:29,193
Whatever you say, Maxine.
306
00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:33,739
- Do you have an extra sash? Raquel?
- [cabinet door clicks]
307
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:43,290
[breathing deeply]
308
00:18:48,921 --> 00:18:52,341
Nice skirt. [sighs]
You'll make a pretty prison wife.
309
00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:55,260
[coughs] What?
310
00:18:55,886 --> 00:18:57,930
Somebody's going down
for this Donahue shit.
311
00:18:57,930 --> 00:18:59,264
It's not gonna be me.
312
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:01,308
You're saying it's gonna be me?
313
00:19:01,934 --> 00:19:04,019
Yeah. We're the only two standing here.
314
00:19:06,355 --> 00:19:09,066
Look, I like you, Doug. I like your wife.
315
00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:13,403
You're a new breed.
These old guys are dropping like flies.
316
00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,281
Palm Beach needs new kings.
317
00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:18,367
What does it matter,
if I'm rotting in prison?
318
00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:21,745
Play your cards right,
and I'll take care of you.
319
00:19:22,371 --> 00:19:24,790
Then maybe the new guys
will take care of Palm Beach.
320
00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:28,043
You got the cojones, right?
321
00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:30,045
Yeah.
322
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:39,346
- Yes, that's it. [exhales deeply]
- [sighs] I size up for comfort.
323
00:19:40,389 --> 00:19:42,307
Great. Wow.
324
00:19:42,933 --> 00:19:44,977
Whoa! I didn't say take the Renoir.
325
00:19:44,977 --> 00:19:48,313
- I improvised.
- No, no, no, we can't steal that.
326
00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:50,315
- This is bad. We're going to prison.
- [Linda stammers]
327
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:51,692
- We're gonna go to prison.
- No, no, no.
328
00:19:51,692 --> 00:19:53,944
- We're not gonna go to prison. It's okay.
- Maxine's husband is.
329
00:19:53,944 --> 00:19:55,237
I heard her talking. She's--
330
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:56,154
- What?
- [Maxine] Linda?
331
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:57,072
- Oh, Linda.
- Oh, oh.
332
00:19:57,072 --> 00:19:59,324
[Maxine] Oh, Linda, thank God.
333
00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:01,743
Tell me you have an extra sash, a tartan.
334
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,328
I'll take anything plaid.
I need your help.
335
00:20:03,912 --> 00:20:07,207
Oh, I burned my tartan seven years ago
along with my Cross Your Heart bra.
336
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:09,209
What about that little thing?
337
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:12,754
I wore that to my mom's funeral
when I was three.
338
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,756
Oh, I'm sorry.
339
00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:17,509
Can I borrow it?
I know it's tiny, but I'm desperate.
340
00:20:17,509 --> 00:20:20,179
Heck, I'll even take that little bear
if I have to. [chuckles]
341
00:20:20,179 --> 00:20:21,263
I hate not fitting in.
342
00:20:22,139 --> 00:20:23,640
You ladies know what I'm talking about.
343
00:20:24,474 --> 00:20:26,727
Um, why don't you give us a minute?
344
00:20:27,561 --> 00:20:30,230
[feminists murmuring, whispering]
345
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:33,066
Okay.
346
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:35,360
[Linda sighs]
347
00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:38,113
Strange friends.
348
00:20:38,113 --> 00:20:40,574
[bagpipes playing]
349
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,369
This is fun. [chuckles]
350
00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:47,706
Your date's a woman of few words.
351
00:20:47,706 --> 00:20:48,957
- [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
352
00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:50,792
Well, so is yours.
353
00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:55,547
I'll fetch the lovely ladies
some cocktails
354
00:20:56,298 --> 00:20:58,133
- to liven up the mood. [chuckles]
- [Robert] Mmm.
355
00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:02,846
I'll be right back.
356
00:21:03,931 --> 00:21:05,307
Can you please take care of her?
357
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:06,767
One minute. Thank you.
358
00:21:09,895 --> 00:21:12,481
Maxine,
you need to start living in real life.
359
00:21:12,481 --> 00:21:15,692
- [sighs]
- Sylvia told me Douglas might go to jail.
360
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:17,402
Douglas isn't going to jail.
361
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,321
He didn't do anything. He was tricked.
362
00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:21,573
- Oh.
- You always think the worst of him.
363
00:21:22,324 --> 00:21:23,825
[Robert]
Fern told me I would find you here.
364
00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:25,452
Oh. Hey.
365
00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:29,456
- So sorry for your loss.
- [Linda] Thanks for coming.
366
00:21:29,957 --> 00:21:33,794
[Robert] I mean, I barely got to know him,
but he made such a big impact on me.
367
00:21:33,794 --> 00:21:35,838
[Linda] You know, he really liked you too.
368
00:21:35,838 --> 00:21:36,922
[Robert chuckles]
369
00:21:36,922 --> 00:21:39,174
[chuckles] What's going on with you?
370
00:21:42,219 --> 00:21:45,055
You look funny. And I'm not talking
about that jacket and skirt.
371
00:21:47,391 --> 00:21:49,893
- Okay, I met someone. That's it.
- [Linda gasping]
372
00:21:49,893 --> 00:21:50,978
- [Robert] True.
- [gasps]
373
00:21:50,978 --> 00:21:53,522
- Yeah, that's it. [chuckles]
- Here. Tell us.
374
00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:56,108
I found his number in Aisle 7.
375
00:21:56,108 --> 00:21:58,235
- [gasps] I love that.
- [chuckles]
376
00:21:58,861 --> 00:22:00,195
So, who is he?
377
00:22:02,406 --> 00:22:03,824
- Well, he's very discreet.
- Mmm.
378
00:22:03,824 --> 00:22:05,325
- Yeah.
- Discreet?
379
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,952
- Yeah.
- But you met somebody.
380
00:22:06,952 --> 00:22:09,621
I want you to be able to shout it
from the rooftops.
381
00:22:12,082 --> 00:22:13,166
I can't.
382
00:22:14,126 --> 00:22:15,502
[stammers] You know I can't.
383
00:22:17,588 --> 00:22:21,133
But, Robert,
there's nothing wrong with you.
384
00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:23,927
Hmm. He is a bit mouthy.
385
00:22:24,970 --> 00:22:26,972
- Maxine.
- I'm just being honest.
386
00:22:26,972 --> 00:22:28,056
[chuckles]
387
00:22:28,724 --> 00:22:33,187
The point is, the world
just hasn't caught up to you yet.
388
00:22:34,605 --> 00:22:38,483
You being your truth,
maybe eventually it will. Huh?
389
00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:44,448
Maybe he doesn't want to be a movement.
390
00:22:49,828 --> 00:22:51,205
I just want to be a person.
391
00:22:53,123 --> 00:22:54,124
I get that.
392
00:22:55,626 --> 00:22:56,752
Yeah, I get that too.
393
00:23:00,047 --> 00:23:01,590
I'm really sorry for your loss.
394
00:23:02,341 --> 00:23:03,342
Thanks.
395
00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:09,306
And now I'm gonna go
and catch up to my date. Bye.
396
00:23:09,306 --> 00:23:11,058
- Wha-- Wait, he's here?
- Wait a minute.
397
00:23:11,058 --> 00:23:12,476
[stammers] Oh, my God, can we meet him?
398
00:23:14,019 --> 00:23:15,521
- [Linda chuckles]
- [Maxine] Tease.
399
00:23:15,521 --> 00:23:18,732
[laughs] Hmm.
400
00:23:18,732 --> 00:23:22,444
[Evelyn] Linda, get your ass out here.
Everyone's waiting!
401
00:23:23,862 --> 00:23:27,574
I hate her.
And all this bullshit pageantry.
402
00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:30,369
- Hey, pageantry is not bullshit.
- [scoffs]
403
00:23:30,953 --> 00:23:34,122
You go out there and you--
you honor your father's life.
404
00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:36,208
You owe that to yourself and to him.
405
00:23:37,042 --> 00:23:39,545
- But first I need to know something.
- Yeah?
406
00:23:39,545 --> 00:23:41,213
How much does that bear mean to you?
407
00:23:45,259 --> 00:23:50,305
As the will is read,
please enjoy the soothing sounds
408
00:23:50,305 --> 00:23:53,642
of the Palm Beach Bagpipers of yore.
409
00:23:54,309 --> 00:23:56,603
[bagpipes playing]
410
00:24:12,661 --> 00:24:13,662
Hey.
411
00:24:15,747 --> 00:24:19,168
Ah! Mr. Condos.
412
00:24:19,168 --> 00:24:23,130
- Ah, Mr. Cocksucker.
- Hmm.
413
00:24:23,714 --> 00:24:25,883
I want my $250,000 back.
414
00:24:26,550 --> 00:24:29,344
It's already in my Swiss bank account.
415
00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:33,557
I can't help if your condos went--
how do you say-- titty up?
416
00:24:34,933 --> 00:24:36,727
You think
I can't still make things happen?
417
00:24:37,978 --> 00:24:40,439
You think I don't have cojones?
418
00:24:40,939 --> 00:24:44,443
Of course you do.
I can see them under your skirt.
419
00:24:44,443 --> 00:24:46,111
- [inhales sharply, grunts]
- [grunts]
420
00:24:46,904 --> 00:24:48,488
- [shutter clicks]
- [people gasp]
421
00:24:48,488 --> 00:24:49,740
What's the matter with you, man?
422
00:24:49,740 --> 00:24:54,244
[laughs] There's my king.
423
00:24:54,745 --> 00:24:55,746
Yeah.
424
00:25:05,923 --> 00:25:06,924
[grunts]
425
00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:16,683
No photo.
426
00:25:17,559 --> 00:25:19,186
[mumbling]
427
00:25:21,730 --> 00:25:23,315
[prince] How do you work for that man?
428
00:25:23,315 --> 00:25:27,361
I don't work for him.
I-- I work for his aunt.
429
00:25:28,612 --> 00:25:31,782
And I guess I don't work for her either,
seeing as I don't get paid.
430
00:25:32,449 --> 00:25:33,742
Come away with me.
431
00:25:35,452 --> 00:25:38,747
I have a friend who has a villa
on the Côte d'Azur.
432
00:25:40,249 --> 00:25:42,751
Let's go together.
433
00:25:46,839 --> 00:25:47,840
[moans]
434
00:25:52,010 --> 00:25:53,345
You have no home.
435
00:25:56,390 --> 00:25:57,391
No job.
436
00:25:59,768 --> 00:26:01,228
What is keeping you here?
437
00:26:18,871 --> 00:26:20,539
[in Jersey accent]
I said no motherfucking photo.
438
00:26:20,539 --> 00:26:21,790
You scared-- [yelps]
439
00:26:21,790 --> 00:26:24,126
[both grunting, straining]
440
00:26:24,126 --> 00:26:27,296
[panting, shrieking]
441
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,099
[bagpipes continue playing]
442
00:26:42,561 --> 00:26:44,104
Fibrosis, Maxine.
443
00:26:52,154 --> 00:26:53,363
[gasps]
444
00:26:56,283 --> 00:26:59,995
Do you find fibrosis ridiculous, Maxine?
445
00:27:01,121 --> 00:27:05,792
Because... [sighs, sniffles]
...your excuses have been.
446
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,088
Ridiculous? No... [chuckles]
...Mary, of course not.
447
00:27:10,088 --> 00:27:15,844
In fact, I have cut you
a cashier's check for that $75,000
448
00:27:15,844 --> 00:27:19,097
that I brought today for the 75,000.
See, it's right here,
449
00:27:19,097 --> 00:27:23,352
but I would love to just hang on
to this for a bit longer.
450
00:27:23,352 --> 00:27:28,148
My husband died
of fibrosis of the liver, Maxine.
451
00:27:29,566 --> 00:27:30,734
I had no idea.
452
00:27:30,734 --> 00:27:34,363
My husband, David Davidsoul,
453
00:27:35,072 --> 00:27:37,950
lost his life to this terrible affliction.
454
00:27:37,950 --> 00:27:41,662
I'm sorry,
your husband's name is David Davidsoul?
455
00:27:41,662 --> 00:27:42,663
Was.
456
00:27:42,663 --> 00:27:44,414
Oh, of course.
457
00:27:44,414 --> 00:27:49,795
Do you have any idea how many people
in this great nation are diagnosed
458
00:27:49,795 --> 00:27:52,506
with this deadly disease every year?
459
00:27:53,507 --> 00:27:54,383
Two million?
460
00:27:54,383 --> 00:27:55,425
Seventeen.
461
00:27:56,426 --> 00:28:00,222
And thanks to my foundation,
16 of them are in full remission.
462
00:28:01,682 --> 00:28:02,516
Congratulations.
463
00:28:02,516 --> 00:28:07,062
But number 17, little Shelbi.
464
00:28:07,980 --> 00:28:09,731
Oh, it's-- it's upside down. [chuckles]
465
00:28:11,859 --> 00:28:14,653
There she is. Little Shelbi.
466
00:28:15,237 --> 00:28:16,572
With an "I."
467
00:28:17,948 --> 00:28:23,495
She lives in Montana
with no access to medical care.
468
00:28:25,372 --> 00:28:29,126
Not even a vet. Not even a farm vet.
469
00:28:31,670 --> 00:28:35,591
I want you to look
into little Shelbi's eyes
470
00:28:37,176 --> 00:28:41,346
and tell her there won't be a cure
for Christmas this year.
471
00:28:43,432 --> 00:28:45,809
No "ho, ho, ho."
472
00:28:45,809 --> 00:28:46,810
I feel just awful.
473
00:28:46,810 --> 00:28:52,733
And when little Shelbi dies
for lack of $75,000...
474
00:28:53,775 --> 00:28:58,030
With all due respect,
you are a very wealthy woman.
475
00:28:58,864 --> 00:29:03,368
Couldn't you possibly write
a check to little Shelbi yourself?
476
00:29:03,368 --> 00:29:06,163
That's not the point, Maxine!
477
00:29:06,163 --> 00:29:07,956
I want that check.
478
00:29:07,956 --> 00:29:10,959
That check with your name on it.
You promised.
479
00:29:10,959 --> 00:29:13,378
We are at a funeral, so I do feel,
480
00:29:13,378 --> 00:29:15,756
out of respect, perhaps we could
pick this up another time?
481
00:29:17,674 --> 00:29:19,092
You can be sure of it.
482
00:29:38,654 --> 00:29:39,655
[sighs]
483
00:29:43,408 --> 00:29:44,409
[Maxine] Norma!
484
00:29:46,245 --> 00:29:49,331
[stammers] What are you doing
out here all by yourself?
485
00:29:49,331 --> 00:29:50,958
[babbles] Bathroom.
486
00:29:51,542 --> 00:29:56,296
Oh, uh, you know, they're just about
to name the new leader of Clan Rollins.
487
00:29:56,296 --> 00:29:58,131
- Can it wait a little?
- Uh-uh.
488
00:29:59,007 --> 00:30:00,050
Okay.
489
00:30:00,926 --> 00:30:05,430
I know that feeling. Oh, my.
Look at all these RSVPs.
490
00:30:05,973 --> 00:30:07,724
Ooh! Norma, you still got it.
491
00:30:10,143 --> 00:30:12,813
Okay, now, let's find a bathroom in here.
492
00:30:13,397 --> 00:30:14,731
Bathrooms.
493
00:30:17,192 --> 00:30:18,569
Okay.
494
00:30:19,653 --> 00:30:20,821
Okay.
495
00:30:22,072 --> 00:30:23,657
Bet there's a hundred in this house.
496
00:30:23,657 --> 00:30:26,994
I'm not sure where to go.
This looks familiar.
497
00:30:27,953 --> 00:30:31,290
Let's try this room.
Have you ever seen this place?
498
00:30:32,291 --> 00:30:33,375
- [gasps] Oh.
- [gasps]
499
00:30:35,043 --> 00:30:37,045
- [gasps]
- [stammers]
500
00:30:37,629 --> 00:30:38,630
[gasps]
501
00:30:40,215 --> 00:30:44,887
Let's just go back in here. Norma, uh--
502
00:30:44,887 --> 00:30:46,597
Stop. Norma, please--
503
00:30:46,597 --> 00:30:49,349
Uh, maybe you should take her home...
504
00:30:49,349 --> 00:30:51,393
- [Robert sighs]
- ...and talk to her.
505
00:30:51,393 --> 00:30:53,187
She doesn't have an open mind like I do.
506
00:30:55,439 --> 00:30:56,273
Okay.
507
00:30:57,941 --> 00:31:00,194
- I'm so sorry, Norma.
- Hmm.
508
00:31:06,950 --> 00:31:09,494
If you hurt my friend, I will murder you.
509
00:31:09,995 --> 00:31:13,248
I assure you, my intentions are honorable.
510
00:31:13,248 --> 00:31:17,211
Honorable?
Just like how you stole $250,000 from me?
511
00:31:17,211 --> 00:31:18,879
Ah, don't play dumb.
512
00:31:18,879 --> 00:31:21,840
I wrote you a cashier's check
just like this with my name on it,
513
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,926
in black-and-white for the world to see...
514
00:31:26,261 --> 00:31:27,262
Oh, no.
515
00:31:28,931 --> 00:31:30,641
Oh. Oh, God. Oh, God.
516
00:31:32,309 --> 00:31:35,646
- [Douglas grunting]
- Douglas, what have you done?
517
00:31:36,313 --> 00:31:38,524
Oh, I finally manned up, Maxine.
518
00:31:39,274 --> 00:31:40,901
You gotta kill to be king. [sighs]
519
00:31:41,610 --> 00:31:42,611
Are you drunk?
520
00:31:42,611 --> 00:31:44,446
Maybe. There's no food here,
521
00:31:44,446 --> 00:31:47,241
and you know haggis makes me
blow up like a tick.
522
00:31:47,241 --> 00:31:50,702
No, I-- I didn't know that.
[stammers] Add it to the list!
523
00:31:50,702 --> 00:31:51,995
What list?
524
00:31:51,995 --> 00:31:55,123
Douglas, my name was on those checks!
525
00:31:56,333 --> 00:31:57,960
[executor] "As Aldous Huxley wrote,
526
00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:02,214
'The secret of happiness and virtue
is liking what you've got to do.'
527
00:32:02,214 --> 00:32:06,885
To be happy, we must accept our
unescapable social destiny. We are but--"
528
00:32:06,885 --> 00:32:09,847
Oh, my God!
This is what comes from reading books.
529
00:32:09,847 --> 00:32:10,889
[Maxine arguing in distance]
530
00:32:10,889 --> 00:32:12,933
Penelope, are you even paying attention?
531
00:32:12,933 --> 00:32:14,768
[Linda] Maxine and Douglas are fighting.
532
00:32:14,768 --> 00:32:20,440
I signed them. It's my name.
I was greasing their palms, not you!
533
00:32:21,024 --> 00:32:22,901
[Douglas] Oh, no, no. Maxine, let me...
534
00:32:22,901 --> 00:32:24,528
Uh... [clears throat] ...yes.
535
00:32:24,528 --> 00:32:31,159
Uh, "Some people are born Alphas,
others Betas, Deltas and so on.
536
00:32:31,660 --> 00:32:35,497
To each class belongs its unique gifts
and burden."
537
00:32:35,497 --> 00:32:37,416
Let's get to the grand finale, huh?
538
00:32:37,416 --> 00:32:38,333
[Douglas arguing]
539
00:32:38,333 --> 00:32:40,627
[executor] "Birth is destiny.
540
00:32:40,627 --> 00:32:44,798
I hereby bequeath
the entirety of my possessions
541
00:32:44,798 --> 00:32:51,722
to my daughter Penelope.
Signed this day, November 22, 1969."
542
00:32:51,722 --> 00:32:55,058
- What?
- [sighs] Well, he did it.
543
00:32:56,935 --> 00:33:00,355
Wait a minute. My dad changed his will
the day before he died?
544
00:33:00,355 --> 00:33:02,900
I told you I knew your father
better than you.
545
00:33:03,734 --> 00:33:06,862
Oh, fuck. [sighs]
546
00:33:08,989 --> 00:33:10,407
[Maxine] Am I going to Sing Sing?
547
00:33:10,407 --> 00:33:14,369
No. No, babe. I-- I-- I would never
let that happen, Maxine. I-- I swear.
548
00:33:14,369 --> 00:33:16,246
- Trust me.
- How can I trust you, Douglas?
549
00:33:16,246 --> 00:33:17,789
- How can you trust me? What?
- Oh, Maxine.
550
00:33:17,789 --> 00:33:20,292
[Sylvia stammers] Um, do you know
where there's a bathtub?
551
00:33:20,292 --> 00:33:22,628
I hardly think this is the time
or the place.
552
00:33:22,628 --> 00:33:25,964
[chuckles] My water broke.
The baby's coming.
553
00:33:25,964 --> 00:33:28,217
Oh. Douglas, get up.
[stammers] Call an ambulance!
554
00:33:28,217 --> 00:33:31,220
No, no, no, n-- No hospital. We planned
on having a water birth at home.
555
00:33:31,220 --> 00:33:33,096
- Oh. Okay. [stammers] We'll get you home.
- [Sylvia groans]
556
00:33:33,096 --> 00:33:35,182
No, there's no time.
The baby's coming now.
557
00:33:36,808 --> 00:33:37,809
- What's a water birth?
- Okay.
558
00:33:38,393 --> 00:33:40,187
Douglas... [stammers] ...do some--
Pick her up.
559
00:33:40,187 --> 00:33:42,606
- Excuse us!
- She's having a baby!
560
00:33:42,606 --> 00:33:44,691
I need scissors and towels!
561
00:33:44,691 --> 00:33:46,026
Scissors and towels. Excuse me.
562
00:33:46,026 --> 00:33:47,569
[Rita] Sorry. [pants]
563
00:33:54,743 --> 00:33:56,203
[breathing heavily]
564
00:33:56,870 --> 00:33:58,372
Do you know
where I can find some scissors?
565
00:33:58,956 --> 00:34:01,458
My friend, she's having a baby
in the bathtub.
566
00:34:01,458 --> 00:34:05,128
Has she chosen a water birth?
567
00:34:05,128 --> 00:34:06,755
[Sylvia wailing]
568
00:34:06,755 --> 00:34:08,215
[sighs] I hate this house.
569
00:34:09,675 --> 00:34:14,513
I chaired the gala
for Palm Beach General's obstetrics wing.
570
00:34:14,513 --> 00:34:17,139
[Sylvia wailing]
571
00:34:17,139 --> 00:34:18,516
My time has come.
572
00:34:22,312 --> 00:34:23,522
Lead me to her.
573
00:34:24,188 --> 00:34:25,565
- Just ebb and flow...
- [feminists humming]
574
00:34:25,565 --> 00:34:26,942
- ...with the water.
- Yeah.
575
00:34:26,942 --> 00:34:29,110
Okay, well,
I'll let you ladies take it from here.
576
00:34:30,404 --> 00:34:31,655
Wait! No, no, I need him.
577
00:34:31,655 --> 00:34:33,782
I'm supposed to squeeze
my husband's hand if I feel any pain.
578
00:34:33,782 --> 00:34:36,952
- Oh. [stammers] Douglas! Sit down.
- Why?
579
00:34:36,952 --> 00:34:38,620
Because you need to hold her hand.
580
00:34:38,620 --> 00:34:41,081
[Douglas groans]
581
00:34:41,081 --> 00:34:42,875
Okay, ladies,
let-- let's just keep humming.
582
00:34:42,875 --> 00:34:44,626
Keep humming, keep humming, keep humming.
583
00:34:44,626 --> 00:34:47,295
- Okay, just breathe, breathe, breathe.
- [Sylvia wailing]
584
00:34:47,295 --> 00:34:53,260
[groans] Oh, Jesus! Ow! That's one hell
of a grip. You're crushing my hand.
585
00:34:53,260 --> 00:34:54,844
Just breathe and-- and-- and push.
586
00:34:54,844 --> 00:34:56,679
[screaming]
587
00:34:56,679 --> 00:34:58,140
You're gonna break my bones!
588
00:34:58,140 --> 00:35:00,267
Oh. Pull his hair. It's all right!
589
00:35:00,267 --> 00:35:02,186
- [groaning]
- [Maxine] Push and pull!
590
00:35:02,186 --> 00:35:06,815
- [screaming] Help me. Help me. [panting]
- [Mary] Breathe, Sylvia.
591
00:35:06,815 --> 00:35:07,941
Push and pull!
592
00:35:07,941 --> 00:35:09,359
[Mary] Breathe, Sylvia.
593
00:35:09,359 --> 00:35:12,487
- [Sylvia wailing]
- [screaming] Help me!
594
00:35:12,487 --> 00:35:14,573
Oh. Oh, my God.
595
00:35:14,573 --> 00:35:17,451
- It's coming!
- [Sylvia, Douglas screaming]
596
00:35:18,535 --> 00:35:23,040
- [Sylvia, Douglas panting]
- [Maxine] Oh! Oh! [chuckles]
597
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:24,124
[baby wailing]
598
00:35:24,124 --> 00:35:26,835
- [gasps]
- Cut the cord, Maxine.
599
00:35:27,461 --> 00:35:28,378
M-Me?
600
00:35:28,378 --> 00:35:31,548
- [panting]
- U-Uh, honey. [mutters] Mm-hmm. [sighs]
601
00:35:31,548 --> 00:35:32,633
I can't.
602
00:35:33,383 --> 00:35:34,384
I can't.
603
00:35:34,384 --> 00:35:36,303
[panting]
604
00:35:36,303 --> 00:35:38,722
[Rita stammers] I'll do it. I'll do it.
605
00:35:38,722 --> 00:35:42,392
- [panting, grunts]
- [scissors snip]
606
00:35:42,976 --> 00:35:45,229
- [Sylvia] Oh.
- It's a boy. [chuckles]
607
00:35:46,688 --> 00:35:48,232
It's a boy. [chuckles]
608
00:35:50,526 --> 00:35:51,777
[feminists gasping, sighing]
609
00:35:51,777 --> 00:35:55,239
And we shall call him Shelbi.
610
00:35:56,281 --> 00:35:58,325
We were thinking Jack.
611
00:36:03,288 --> 00:36:05,040
Jack Shelbi.
612
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:06,500
- [Jack crying]
- Mmm.
613
00:36:18,679 --> 00:36:19,680
[sighs]
614
00:36:20,264 --> 00:36:22,182
I'm sorry you had to see that, Norma.
615
00:36:23,100 --> 00:36:26,311
I understand that seeing it makes it real.
616
00:36:27,062 --> 00:36:28,522
He's a good man.
617
00:36:29,523 --> 00:36:34,027
He's smart, he's rich,
he's royal. [chuckles]
618
00:36:36,238 --> 00:36:40,826
Would it be too much for me
to ask for your blessing?
619
00:36:44,204 --> 00:36:45,205
[sighs]
620
00:36:48,333 --> 00:36:49,626
[timer dings]
621
00:36:50,627 --> 00:36:51,837
It's time for your insulin.
622
00:36:52,963 --> 00:36:56,049
[babbling]
623
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:02,431
- [bag unzips]
- Norma, what is this?
624
00:37:03,015 --> 00:37:04,016
[stammers]
625
00:37:08,979 --> 00:37:10,480
I know what you were trying to do.
626
00:37:16,820 --> 00:37:18,530
You were trying to protect yourself.
627
00:37:19,531 --> 00:37:20,908
[sighs]
628
00:37:21,867 --> 00:37:26,955
It must be so horrible to have people move
into your house and push you around.
629
00:37:28,665 --> 00:37:32,503
Listen, I-- I didn't trust Maxine
in the beginning, but now I do.
630
00:37:34,046 --> 00:37:36,632
She wouldn't do anything
to hurt you or me.
631
00:37:39,176 --> 00:37:42,804
[inhales sharply] In the meantime,
I'm gonna take all these guns
632
00:37:42,804 --> 00:37:44,056
and I'm gonna put them away
633
00:37:44,056 --> 00:37:46,558
because I don't want
any tragic accidents in the house.
634
00:37:47,476 --> 00:37:48,644
Boo!
635
00:37:48,644 --> 00:37:50,562
[Robert]
Norma, if I didn't know you any better,
636
00:37:51,855 --> 00:37:55,108
I would think that you were planning on
getting Maxine all alone at the funeral
637
00:37:55,108 --> 00:37:58,987
and murdering her in cold blood
while the bagpipes played.
638
00:38:21,260 --> 00:38:22,386
[Maxine] Hey, you.
639
00:38:24,513 --> 00:38:25,514
Hey.
640
00:38:32,020 --> 00:38:33,021
It's strange.
641
00:38:34,731 --> 00:38:37,359
In another life,
this would have been my house.
642
00:38:37,359 --> 00:38:39,611
- [Maxine chuckles]
- [Jack wailing]
643
00:38:40,946 --> 00:38:42,823
[Maxine]
And you could've had a baby. [chuckles]
644
00:38:45,075 --> 00:38:47,578
[stammers] Wasn't meant to be.
645
00:38:49,788 --> 00:38:51,582
I will admit,
it was a real roller coaster.
646
00:38:51,582 --> 00:38:55,544
Getting married and thinking
we were having a baby and...
647
00:38:55,544 --> 00:38:56,837
[Maxine sighs]
648
00:39:00,674 --> 00:39:03,177
- [breathing deeply]
- Max, honey, what is it?
649
00:39:05,262 --> 00:39:08,974
That's not exactly how it happened.
[chuckles]
650
00:39:08,974 --> 00:39:10,058
[stammers]
651
00:39:12,019 --> 00:39:18,066
I lost the baby before we got married,
um, but right-- right before. [chuckles]
652
00:39:18,066 --> 00:39:20,194
And I-- I didn't want to tell you
'cause you were so excited,
653
00:39:20,194 --> 00:39:22,029
and I didn't want to disappoint you.
654
00:39:22,029 --> 00:39:25,282
I thought-- We thought it'd be so easy
to get pregnant again.
655
00:39:27,826 --> 00:39:31,997
[sighs] I'm so sorry. [stammers]
That was wrong. I should have told you.
656
00:39:32,998 --> 00:39:35,000
After all this time,
I should have told you. It was wrong.
657
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:36,376
But please tell me you forgive me.
658
00:39:38,795 --> 00:39:40,130
Please tell me it's all right.
659
00:39:43,175 --> 00:39:45,093
- Douglas, please say something.
- Uh...
660
00:39:46,887 --> 00:39:48,680
I'm gonna go pull the car around.
661
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,730
- [breathes shakily]
- [Jack wailing]
662
00:40:02,402 --> 00:40:05,239
Fingers and toes. [chuckles]
And your nose. [chuckles]
663
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:07,950
- [Axel barks]
- Jesus Christ.
664
00:40:07,950 --> 00:40:10,077
[Axel barks, whimpers]
665
00:40:10,869 --> 00:40:14,414
Shall we, darling? [chuckles, sighs]
666
00:40:15,624 --> 00:40:17,626
[engine starts]
667
00:40:19,002 --> 00:40:22,798
Douglas, you and I need to talk.
668
00:40:25,926 --> 00:40:27,761
Now is not the time, Evelyn.
669
00:40:27,761 --> 00:40:32,057
It just seems a shame that a girl
who murdered her own father
670
00:40:32,057 --> 00:40:34,268
ends up with all his money.
671
00:40:36,687 --> 00:40:39,690
We both know
that Linda didn't murder Skeet.
672
00:40:39,690 --> 00:40:44,528
Maybe it took 20 years,
but the bullet she fired did kill him.
673
00:40:47,155 --> 00:40:50,826
You and I are the only two
who saw what happened that day.
674
00:40:50,826 --> 00:40:54,955
And if we were to corroborate
one another, well,
675
00:40:55,664 --> 00:40:58,375
the truth is when two people agree.
676
00:41:02,713 --> 00:41:04,089
Think about it.
677
00:41:10,345 --> 00:41:11,346
Yes?
678
00:41:13,015 --> 00:41:15,976
I'm looking for Mrs. Maxine Dellacorte.
679
00:41:17,978 --> 00:41:18,979
Oh.
680
00:41:22,733 --> 00:41:24,026
[sighs]
681
00:41:31,325 --> 00:41:32,326
[Linda] Oh.
682
00:41:34,453 --> 00:41:36,413
I came to say goodbye.
683
00:41:37,706 --> 00:41:40,250
You should go see the baby.
He's beautiful.
684
00:41:41,877 --> 00:41:42,878
There's a baby?
685
00:41:42,878 --> 00:41:44,630
Sylvia had her baby in the tub.
686
00:41:45,297 --> 00:41:46,465
Douglas's head chipped the enamel.
687
00:41:46,465 --> 00:41:48,759
I hope Evelyn's not gonna be too upset.
688
00:41:48,759 --> 00:41:50,260
It's not Evelyn's. [sighs]
689
00:41:50,260 --> 00:41:51,345
Huh?
690
00:41:51,970 --> 00:41:53,430
It's my bathtub.
691
00:41:54,431 --> 00:41:56,808
All this is mine. [sighs]
692
00:41:56,808 --> 00:41:58,477
Maxine... [sighs]
693
00:42:00,729 --> 00:42:02,481
...this is the worst day of my life.
694
00:42:04,274 --> 00:42:05,567
I'm so sorry.
695
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,030
Can't always get what we want.
696
00:42:33,011 --> 00:42:36,390
Evelyn. Evelyn, uh, have you seen Douglas?
697
00:42:36,390 --> 00:42:39,017
A man in a fedora just took him away.
698
00:42:40,894 --> 00:42:41,895
Oh.
699
00:42:43,814 --> 00:42:45,399
He didn't say anything, did he?
700
00:42:45,399 --> 00:42:48,861
I heard him say,
"It's all my fault. Take me, not her."
701
00:42:51,321 --> 00:42:52,322
"Her"?
702
00:42:52,865 --> 00:42:53,866
Yes.
703
00:42:54,533 --> 00:42:56,493
I assume he meant you.
704
00:43:01,540 --> 00:43:02,916
Oh, Douglas.
705
00:43:05,878 --> 00:43:08,130
Have you seen a tall bitch
from New Jersey?
706
00:43:08,130 --> 00:43:09,631
She stole my camera.
707
00:43:11,758 --> 00:43:12,759
No.
708
00:43:15,804 --> 00:43:17,014
Robert?
709
00:43:19,558 --> 00:43:22,352
Robert, where are you? I need you.
710
00:43:24,438 --> 00:43:26,356
- Robert?
- [approaching footfalls]
711
00:43:26,356 --> 00:43:29,359
Maxine. Thank God, I was getting worried.
712
00:43:29,902 --> 00:43:31,153
Mitzi, what are you doing here?
713
00:43:31,695 --> 00:43:33,780
Robert called
and asked if I'd watch Norma.
714
00:43:34,323 --> 00:43:36,617
- He went out with a friend.
- Where?
715
00:43:37,576 --> 00:43:40,621
He said to call The Breakers Hotel
if there was an emergency.
716
00:43:40,621 --> 00:43:42,372
- [sighs]
- Is it an emergency?
717
00:43:43,498 --> 00:43:45,751
[sighs] Mitzi.
718
00:43:48,629 --> 00:43:49,713
[sighs]
719
00:43:51,006 --> 00:43:54,384
Mr. Dellacorte is-- He's gone.
720
00:43:56,136 --> 00:43:57,471
They took him away.
721
00:43:59,056 --> 00:44:01,183
Because of the Perry Donahue business.
722
00:44:01,767 --> 00:44:04,895
[stammers] But Mr. Dellacorte
didn't do anything, did he?
723
00:44:04,895 --> 00:44:06,939
No. No, of course not.
724
00:44:08,148 --> 00:44:09,816
Things can change so fast.
725
00:44:10,359 --> 00:44:13,529
Make sure-- You-- You promise me
that you will plan for your future.
726
00:44:13,529 --> 00:44:15,656
Barbizon leads places, you know.
727
00:44:16,573 --> 00:44:21,161
Just look at my friend Stephanie.
Thanks to Barbizon, she's dating a prince.
728
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:25,290
Princess Stephanie did Barbizon?
729
00:44:25,958 --> 00:44:27,334
She was in my class.
730
00:44:27,835 --> 00:44:30,546
I saw her at the space launch,
and she was with a prince.
731
00:44:32,422 --> 00:44:33,423
Oh.
732
00:44:35,509 --> 00:44:39,263
Well, maybe don't pay attention
to what other people are doing.
733
00:44:41,682 --> 00:44:42,933
Can you stay and watch Norma?
734
00:44:43,475 --> 00:44:44,476
Sure.
735
00:44:45,686 --> 00:44:47,020
'Cause I'm tired.
736
00:44:57,489 --> 00:44:58,490
Thanks, pal.
737
00:45:09,293 --> 00:45:10,294
[Maxine] Coffee's on.
738
00:45:11,128 --> 00:45:12,421
[sighs]
739
00:45:14,173 --> 00:45:15,340
I was at the--
740
00:45:15,340 --> 00:45:19,219
At The Breakers Hotel
with your new friend. Mitzi told me.
741
00:45:27,769 --> 00:45:30,022
I think I'm gonna go away
for a while, Maxine.
742
00:45:31,064 --> 00:45:32,065
Where are you going?
743
00:45:33,233 --> 00:45:34,401
South of France.
744
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:37,321
For how long?
745
00:45:37,905 --> 00:45:42,367
A couple of months. I know that Norma
will be fine, 'cause she has you.
746
00:45:44,244 --> 00:45:45,662
And I don't have anyone.
747
00:45:49,333 --> 00:45:52,044
Douglas has been taken in for questioning.
It doesn't look good.
748
00:45:54,296 --> 00:45:56,215
Forget about what I just said.
I'm not going anywhere.
749
00:45:56,215 --> 00:45:59,510
I'm not gonna leave you and Norma
here alone for a man I barely even know.
750
00:46:02,763 --> 00:46:05,682
You know, I barely knew Douglas
before we ran away together.
751
00:46:07,976 --> 00:46:11,396
Certain feelings can be deceiving.
752
00:46:14,816 --> 00:46:16,652
But it was the best decision I ever made.
753
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:19,613
Go with your prince.
754
00:46:20,614 --> 00:46:25,035
He's got $250,000 of Norma's money,
so spend the hell out of it.
755
00:46:26,995 --> 00:46:27,996
[chuckles]
756
00:46:30,123 --> 00:46:31,124
Thank you.
757
00:46:31,124 --> 00:46:34,628
I mean it. Spend the hell out of it.
758
00:46:35,379 --> 00:46:38,257
Champagne and caviar every single day.
Promise me.
759
00:46:41,677 --> 00:46:42,845
When do you leave?
760
00:46:42,845 --> 00:46:44,805
He's coming to pick me up this afternoon.
761
00:46:46,890 --> 00:46:48,392
Then you better start packing.
762
00:46:49,768 --> 00:46:50,769
[sighs]
763
00:46:56,441 --> 00:46:57,442
[Robert] I love you.
764
00:47:05,367 --> 00:47:06,577
Sorry, Norma.
765
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:09,580
We were so close.
766
00:47:13,041 --> 00:47:15,043
[Maxine] Robert had to go get his man.
767
00:47:16,170 --> 00:47:18,589
And I had to go get mine.
768
00:47:18,589 --> 00:47:20,340
I need these cashed, please.
769
00:47:24,678 --> 00:47:29,057
To cash checks of this size and volume,
the bank requires a cosigner.
770
00:47:29,558 --> 00:47:30,976
A husband, perhaps?
771
00:47:32,394 --> 00:47:35,063
It is my name on this goldarn account.
772
00:47:35,063 --> 00:47:38,066
I need you to cash these goldarn checks
before I make a scene.
773
00:47:39,276 --> 00:47:40,861
Let me go talk to my manager.
774
00:48:01,006 --> 00:48:02,716
No photo.
775
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:06,845
[Maxine] Raquel's words echoed in my ears.
776
00:48:06,845 --> 00:48:11,225
In Palm Beach,
the only way to avoid jail was to pay up.
777
00:48:11,850 --> 00:48:12,976
Or trade up.
778
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:19,733
Please don't judge me.
779
00:48:21,026 --> 00:48:25,072
Everything I did was in the best interest
of those I care about most.
780
00:48:25,072 --> 00:48:28,867
Identity theft, forgery, wire fraud,
781
00:48:28,867 --> 00:48:30,953
a dozen different aliases.
782
00:48:30,953 --> 00:48:33,789
You're holding a minnow.
I'm giving you a whale.
783
00:48:34,831 --> 00:48:38,168
So where is this whale?
784
00:48:39,169 --> 00:48:42,673
First, I'd like assurance that all charges
against my husband be dropped.
785
00:48:42,673 --> 00:48:47,803
And all assets, once recovered,
be returned to the Dellacorte estate.
786
00:48:49,263 --> 00:48:50,639
[G-man] Yeah. Go ahead.
787
00:48:54,643 --> 00:48:55,644
The prince...
788
00:49:03,777 --> 00:49:05,070
is staying at The Breakers.
789
00:49:28,343 --> 00:49:29,469
[car door closes]
790
00:49:29,469 --> 00:49:31,138
Going somewhere?
791
00:49:31,722 --> 00:49:32,890
Maybe.
792
00:49:37,519 --> 00:49:38,937
Now, that was quick.
793
00:49:38,937 --> 00:49:41,607
Congratulations.
You must have worked a miracle.
794
00:49:43,233 --> 00:49:44,818
Yeah, kind of.
795
00:49:46,528 --> 00:49:47,779
[sighs]
796
00:49:49,865 --> 00:49:51,700
I don't think my prince is coming.
797
00:49:53,952 --> 00:49:57,289
Sorry. I'm so sorry.