1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:03,046
[♪ dramatic theme playing]
2
00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:12,430
[♪ suspenseful Western music playing]
3
00:00:18,395 --> 00:00:19,854
[shrieks]
4
00:00:23,483 --> 00:00:25,402
[♪ tense music playing]
5
00:00:27,988 --> 00:00:29,531
Hmm.
6
00:00:30,156 --> 00:00:31,324
[slurps]
7
00:00:31,324 --> 00:00:33,201
Porcupine. No, wait.
8
00:00:33,743 --> 00:00:35,996
[slurping]
9
00:00:37,372 --> 00:00:39,040
Hedgehog.
10
00:00:40,584 --> 00:00:42,419
♪
11
00:00:42,419 --> 00:00:44,004
Hyah, lizard, hyah!
12
00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:47,549
[lizard galloping]
13
00:00:47,549 --> 00:00:49,885
♪
14
00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:53,263
[Korvo] Planet Shlorp
was a perfect utopia,
15
00:00:53,263 --> 00:00:55,390
until the asteroid hit.
16
00:00:55,891 --> 00:00:58,351
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa,
17
00:00:58,351 --> 00:01:00,186
and escaped into the... space,
18
00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:02,981
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
19
00:01:02,981 --> 00:01:04,232
We crashed on Earth,
20
00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:06,526
stranding us on an already
overpopulated planet.
21
00:01:06,526 --> 00:01:08,153
That's right, I've been talking
this whole time.
22
00:01:08,153 --> 00:01:09,321
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
23
00:01:09,321 --> 00:01:11,114
My name is Korvo. This is my show.
24
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:12,407
Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.
25
00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:14,367
Ugh. This is ridiculous. I hate Earth.
26
00:01:14,367 --> 00:01:17,120
It's a horrible home.
People are stupid and confusing.
27
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,623
Why do all these old billionaires put
young people's blood in their veins
28
00:01:19,623 --> 00:01:22,208
when they can be paying
to put Gray 55, the robot blood,
29
00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:23,627
directly into their genitals?
30
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That's the good stuff!
31
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[♪ dramatic music playing]
32
00:01:30,592 --> 00:01:33,511
[♪ suspenseful Western music playing]
33
00:01:34,471 --> 00:01:37,307
I heard there was an old PEZ dispenser
out here somewhere.
34
00:01:37,307 --> 00:01:39,976
- Do you think we'll get to see it?
- Don't know, don't care.
35
00:01:41,978 --> 00:01:43,438
I wonder what character it is.
36
00:01:43,438 --> 00:01:45,023
Ooh, and what flavor the PEZ is.
37
00:01:45,023 --> 00:01:46,233
Ooh, and if we find it,
38
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I'm gonna crawl up on the top
to get a view of the--
39
00:01:47,692 --> 00:01:49,069
Stop trying to make this fun.
40
00:01:49,069 --> 00:01:50,820
That bounty hunter
could still be tracking us.
41
00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:52,906
[Sofia] You know,
I'm not some naive kid.
42
00:01:52,906 --> 00:01:56,034
I did pretty good with your hippie pal
in Sandbox Town, didn't I?
43
00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:58,078
You almost got killed, twice!
44
00:01:58,078 --> 00:01:59,204
Ah, but I didn't.
45
00:01:59,204 --> 00:02:01,998
Meanwhile, you were higher
than Matthew McConaughey's kite.
46
00:02:01,998 --> 00:02:03,458
[deep voice]
"Oh, I'm Gavin.
47
00:02:03,458 --> 00:02:05,669
"I'm a lightweight who can't handle
some mushrooms.
48
00:02:05,669 --> 00:02:09,214
Oh, take me to the hospital,
I can't feel my old hands."
49
00:02:09,214 --> 00:02:12,133
I need to deliver these supplies
to the NoHo Hank Funko Pop
50
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:15,178
Terry threw into the yard
when Barry turned into a drama.
51
00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:17,264
Nothing in my orders
about keeping you alive.
52
00:02:17,264 --> 00:02:18,598
Ooh, what's this thing?
53
00:02:18,598 --> 00:02:20,392
[Gavin] [sighs]
Basketballburgh.
54
00:02:20,392 --> 00:02:22,102
I've heard about Basketballburgh!
55
00:02:22,102 --> 00:02:25,689
[gasps] Do they really have
a rollercoaster made out of K'nex?
56
00:02:25,689 --> 00:02:27,315
Yeah, but it's the kind
that's only scary
57
00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:29,442
because you think it's gonna
fall over the whole time.
58
00:02:29,442 --> 00:02:31,778
Maybe if you get to like me,
we can be scared of it together.
59
00:02:31,778 --> 00:02:34,531
I don't want to like you.
I want to be done with this.
60
00:02:34,531 --> 00:02:35,657
Hyah!
61
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:41,621
[both gasp]
62
00:02:42,664 --> 00:02:45,125
[♪ uplifting music playing]
63
00:02:45,125 --> 00:02:46,793
Oh, my God, water!
64
00:02:48,378 --> 00:02:49,713
This better not be a mirage!
65
00:02:49,713 --> 00:02:52,674
Actually, I don't even care.
It's so hot, I'll take the illusion.
66
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:54,593
Something's not right.
67
00:02:54,593 --> 00:02:56,845
Why does it smell like
the Smirnoff outlet store?
68
00:02:58,346 --> 00:02:59,848
[dragonfly sizzles, shrieks]
69
00:02:59,848 --> 00:03:01,391
Last one in's a shitty wad of shit.
70
00:03:01,391 --> 00:03:02,601
- [Gavin grunts]
- [Sofia yelps]
71
00:03:03,977 --> 00:03:05,729
- What the hell?
- Look!
72
00:03:06,479 --> 00:03:09,983
Oh, my God.
That dragonfly can't swim.
73
00:03:09,983 --> 00:03:12,193
Someone call a bug lifeguard!
74
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,612
It's not water.
75
00:03:13,612 --> 00:03:15,488
[bugs squealing]
76
00:03:16,031 --> 00:03:18,909
[Sofia] Jesus, what the hell is it?
77
00:03:19,743 --> 00:03:22,078
[gasps] Hand sanitizer,
78
00:03:22,078 --> 00:03:24,247
the cheap kind that smells
like coyote vagina.
79
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:26,291
At our scale, this stuff burns like acid.
80
00:03:26,291 --> 00:03:27,459
[leaf sizzles]
81
00:03:27,459 --> 00:03:29,002
Oh, my God, I could've died.
82
00:03:29,002 --> 00:03:31,713
Hey, hey, you didn't.
You're okay.
83
00:03:31,713 --> 00:03:33,673
I don't think I like
the Back Yard.
84
00:03:33,673 --> 00:03:36,343
Yeah, well, I don't really like anything.
85
00:03:36,843 --> 00:03:38,929
Except for Coldplay, they rule.
86
00:03:39,888 --> 00:03:43,767
[♪ intense ominous music playing]
87
00:03:45,227 --> 00:03:47,687
Come on, guys,
he's gonna be here any second!
88
00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:49,773
I broke out the gouda today!
89
00:03:49,773 --> 00:03:52,150
Only the fanciest cheese
for our famous friend.
90
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:54,819
Avatar! My blue!
91
00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:57,572
- [Pupa grunting]
- [JK Sevens whirring]
92
00:03:58,573 --> 00:04:00,325
- [Pupa shouts]
- [tray clatters]
93
00:04:00,325 --> 00:04:01,868
Ah, my charcuterie board!
94
00:04:01,868 --> 00:04:03,620
You know how many TikToks
I had to study
95
00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:04,996
to get the meat flopped right?
96
00:04:04,996 --> 00:04:06,831
I told you two
to stay out of the kitchen!
97
00:04:06,831 --> 00:04:09,292
[Jesse] Why are you fighting?
I thought you were besties.
98
00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,377
They're both Geminis.
99
00:04:10,377 --> 00:04:13,046
When Saturn's in their
seventh house, good luck!
100
00:04:13,046 --> 00:04:15,131
Neither of them were born
on this planet.
101
00:04:15,131 --> 00:04:17,133
The star signs are hecka different.
102
00:04:17,133 --> 00:04:19,678
Gemini energy is bigger
than galactic star charts!
103
00:04:19,678 --> 00:04:21,054
You two better suck it up.
104
00:04:21,054 --> 00:04:23,098
Our famous friend's coming over
to hang out today.
105
00:04:23,098 --> 00:04:25,267
But what he doesn't know
is that it's actually an intervention.
106
00:04:25,267 --> 00:04:28,603
Turns out you can have
too much alcohol and heroin,
107
00:04:28,603 --> 00:04:31,606
and weed, and all the other drugs
smooshed up into a big ball.
108
00:04:31,606 --> 00:04:34,401
He's going to freak out.
Everyone needs to be as quiet as possible
109
00:04:34,401 --> 00:04:36,069
while we spring a friend trap
on his ass.
110
00:04:36,069 --> 00:04:39,155
Oh, man, the look on his face
when we confront him with his own failings
111
00:04:39,155 --> 00:04:42,242
is gonna be tragic! [chuckles]
112
00:04:42,242 --> 00:04:44,786
[missiles whooshing]
113
00:04:44,786 --> 00:04:46,496
- [missiles exploding]
- [all screaming]
114
00:04:46,496 --> 00:04:47,581
[crockery clanking]
115
00:04:47,581 --> 00:04:49,958
Stop it with the sci-fi fight already!
116
00:04:49,958 --> 00:04:51,209
- [Pupa grunts]
- That's it, if you can't behave,
117
00:04:51,209 --> 00:04:52,502
then we're locking you two in the Manc Ave
118
00:04:52,502 --> 00:04:54,004
until the intervention is over!
119
00:04:54,004 --> 00:04:55,589
[Pupa grunts]
120
00:04:55,589 --> 00:04:57,299
You two are like feral cats!
121
00:04:57,299 --> 00:04:59,718
Are we sure it's a good idea
to leave them alone?
122
00:04:59,718 --> 00:05:02,012
Yeah, we had to move a lot
of dangerous stuff down here
123
00:05:02,012 --> 00:05:04,222
to make room for the intervention
in the living room.
124
00:05:04,222 --> 00:05:06,057
Like that laser cannon
and the ottoman.
125
00:05:06,057 --> 00:05:07,559
It's all harmless, they'll be fine.
126
00:05:07,559 --> 00:05:09,978
What about this microuniverse
in a snow globe?
127
00:05:09,978 --> 00:05:13,148
Or this soul disc you made Terry
after he saw Tron?
128
00:05:13,148 --> 00:05:15,567
Oh, yeah, we recorded
my soul onto that thing
129
00:05:15,567 --> 00:05:17,485
so I could live in the grid as a program.
130
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:18,904
I'm hella bicoastal, baby.
131
00:05:18,904 --> 00:05:20,155
I made that up to make you happy.
132
00:05:20,155 --> 00:05:21,740
So I still have my digital soul?
133
00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:23,366
- Not cool!
- Ah!
134
00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:24,451
- Ah!
- [Jesse gasps]
135
00:05:24,451 --> 00:05:25,535
Ah!
136
00:05:25,535 --> 00:05:29,539
Whew, you almost released
The Thing from The Thing.
137
00:05:29,539 --> 00:05:32,083
That's a Miss Thing,
so we don't get sued.
138
00:05:32,083 --> 00:05:33,835
- Wink, wink.
- [Miss Thing growls]
139
00:05:33,835 --> 00:05:35,212
[Pupa gasps]
140
00:05:35,587 --> 00:05:37,756
But even in clearable parody form,
141
00:05:37,756 --> 00:05:41,426
this little lady is just as dangerous
as her big-screen counterpart.
142
00:05:41,426 --> 00:05:44,763
Ah, geez, we can't leave them
down here with Miss Thing.
143
00:05:44,763 --> 00:05:46,681
- She'll eat them and steal their DNA.
- [Pupa gasps]
144
00:05:46,681 --> 00:05:49,976
Wow, Jesse, um, women have
to support other women.
145
00:05:49,976 --> 00:05:52,354
She's just jealous because
Miss Thing rocks a bow better.
146
00:05:52,354 --> 00:05:54,981
We'll just put her way up here.
Problem solved.
147
00:05:54,981 --> 00:05:56,107
- [doorbell rings]
- [group gasps]
148
00:05:56,107 --> 00:05:58,777
Oh, my stars and garters, I haven't lit
the candle in the bathroom yet!
149
00:05:58,777 --> 00:05:59,861
Listen to me, you two,
150
00:05:59,861 --> 00:06:01,738
if either of you come upstairs
for even a second,
151
00:06:01,738 --> 00:06:03,240
you're grounded for life!
152
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,867
But if you can make it through
this intervention without fighting,
153
00:06:05,867 --> 00:06:08,495
we'll take you to your favorite
fast casual French restaurant.
154
00:06:08,495 --> 00:06:11,456
- Au Bon Pain?
- Oui. So be good.
155
00:06:12,207 --> 00:06:13,541
Here, just zone out and watch
156
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:15,627
the director's commentary-only
edition of Shrek.
157
00:06:16,044 --> 00:06:17,462
[director] [on screen]
For this first scene, I wanted
158
00:06:17,462 --> 00:06:20,090
a sweeping wide shot,
but the studio insisted on starting
159
00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:22,551
with Shrek coming out
of an outhouse, wiping his ass.
160
00:06:22,551 --> 00:06:25,595
Now a lot of people wanna know
how we got the donkey to talk.
161
00:06:25,595 --> 00:06:28,473
No, it's not peanut butter.
It was computers.
162
00:06:28,807 --> 00:06:32,060
[♪ suspenseful Western music playing]
163
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,188
You know what I miss
about the before-fore?
164
00:06:35,188 --> 00:06:37,816
Being big enough that
a raindrop wouldn't kill me?
165
00:06:37,816 --> 00:06:39,901
Yeah, I was gonna say $5 foot longs.
166
00:06:39,901 --> 00:06:42,153
But that raindrop thing
really is a problem.
167
00:06:42,571 --> 00:06:43,905
[Hedgey purrs]
168
00:06:43,905 --> 00:06:46,741
- Hedgey, did you just purr at her?
- We're friends.
169
00:06:46,741 --> 00:06:49,202
He wraps his little arms
around me when we sleep.
170
00:06:49,202 --> 00:06:50,537
I call them hedgehugs.
171
00:06:50,537 --> 00:06:52,330
I've been beggin' you for hedgehugs.
172
00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:53,415
[Hedgey groans]
173
00:06:53,415 --> 00:06:57,168
He makes me feel safe,
at least for a minute.
174
00:06:57,168 --> 00:06:59,212
The Yard's a hard place to live,
175
00:06:59,212 --> 00:07:01,214
but I'll take it over the Wall any day.
176
00:07:01,214 --> 00:07:03,425
The Wall didn't have poison lakes.
177
00:07:03,425 --> 00:07:05,969
Worse. I was there for every era.
178
00:07:05,969 --> 00:07:07,345
[crowd roaring]
179
00:07:07,345 --> 00:07:10,015
I stormed the Duke's staircase
in Wall War I.
180
00:07:11,141 --> 00:07:14,644
When Tim took over, I helped clean
and distribute sex toys to the needy.
181
00:07:16,229 --> 00:07:18,857
I even smuggled Raisinettes
over the wall in the Wall
182
00:07:18,857 --> 00:07:20,734
when the Bowinians split off.
183
00:07:21,401 --> 00:07:23,486
[Sofia]
No Duke or Bowinians out here.
184
00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:25,488
That's right, this is a simple yard.
185
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:28,909
Look at us delivering fruit
to hungry people, no politics.
186
00:07:28,909 --> 00:07:30,493
That's the way to live.
187
00:07:32,621 --> 00:07:35,624
[♪ foreboding music playing]
188
00:07:37,709 --> 00:07:39,878
[JK Sevens beeping]
189
00:07:41,171 --> 00:07:43,548
Mine! Mine!
190
00:07:44,966 --> 00:07:46,176
No! Ah!
191
00:07:47,135 --> 00:07:48,970
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
192
00:07:50,222 --> 00:07:51,932
- [JK Sevens beeping]
- Ah!
193
00:07:51,932 --> 00:07:54,684
[Miss Thing shrieks]
194
00:07:58,104 --> 00:07:59,105
Aah!
195
00:08:00,690 --> 00:08:04,653
- [Miss Thing shrieking]
- [objects crashing]
196
00:08:05,237 --> 00:08:07,197
What the... Oh, finally!
197
00:08:07,197 --> 00:08:09,658
Do you know how long I've been trapped
in the digital world?
198
00:08:09,658 --> 00:08:11,701
There isn't even
a single Del Taco in there!
199
00:08:11,701 --> 00:08:12,786
- [Miss Thing shrieks]
- Ah!
200
00:08:14,454 --> 00:08:16,414
[weapon whirring]
201
00:08:16,414 --> 00:08:17,666
Ah!
202
00:08:17,666 --> 00:08:18,750
[Miss Thing shrieks]
203
00:08:19,584 --> 00:08:21,711
- [bats shrieking]
- Ah!
204
00:08:22,712 --> 00:08:24,464
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
205
00:08:24,464 --> 00:08:25,840
[Miss Thing shrieks]
206
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,676
♪
207
00:08:32,973 --> 00:08:33,974
What's wrong, boy?
208
00:08:33,974 --> 00:08:35,267
Road's blocked.
209
00:08:36,268 --> 00:08:38,311
Usually, Terry throws his chicken legs
210
00:08:38,311 --> 00:08:40,188
closer to the kitchen window.
211
00:08:40,188 --> 00:08:42,190
- [sword swishes]
- [Gavin and Sofia shout]
212
00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:45,443
- [lizard hisses]
- [Sofia] It's the bounty hunter!
213
00:08:45,443 --> 00:08:47,404
Jesus Christ, where?
Oh, me.
214
00:08:47,404 --> 00:08:48,863
Hyah, Hedgey, hyah!
215
00:08:50,532 --> 00:08:51,741
[grunts]
216
00:08:53,577 --> 00:08:54,869
[lizard growls]
217
00:08:57,247 --> 00:08:58,498
He's still coming!
218
00:08:58,498 --> 00:08:59,958
We gotta go off-road!
219
00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:03,420
[grass rustling]
220
00:09:08,008 --> 00:09:09,175
PEZ!
221
00:09:09,175 --> 00:09:11,845
Oh, shit! No time to stop!
Go, Hedgey, go!
222
00:09:14,681 --> 00:09:15,765
- [wagon thuds]
- [Gavin and Sofia grunt]
223
00:09:16,433 --> 00:09:19,811
Good boy! Get us outta this
and it's grubs for dinner all week!
224
00:09:19,811 --> 00:09:21,229
- [Hedgey squeals]
- [Gavin and Sofia scream]
225
00:09:21,605 --> 00:09:23,273
- Come on!
- Look!
226
00:09:25,442 --> 00:09:26,693
Hurry, push!
227
00:09:26,693 --> 00:09:28,862
♪
228
00:09:30,989 --> 00:09:32,908
- It's working.
- [lizard roars]
229
00:09:32,908 --> 00:09:34,409
[Bounty Hunter grumbles]
230
00:09:38,788 --> 00:09:40,498
Hyah, hyah. [clicks tongue]
231
00:09:40,498 --> 00:09:42,500
It'll take him hours
to get all the way around.
232
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:43,752
This is gonna work.
233
00:09:44,669 --> 00:09:46,463
- [Sofia] Ah, we're sinking!
- [Gavin] Ah!
234
00:09:47,047 --> 00:09:48,965
Oh, no, we need to jettison weight.
235
00:09:48,965 --> 00:09:50,383
- [Hedgey screaming]
- Hedgey, quit it.
236
00:09:50,383 --> 00:09:52,469
- It's gonna be okay.
- Ah, come on!
237
00:09:52,469 --> 00:09:54,971
- Hedgey.
- Hedgey, please, you need to stay calm.
238
00:09:55,972 --> 00:09:57,182
Ah, god, it burns!
239
00:09:57,182 --> 00:09:58,725
[Sofia] Oh, my God, are you okay?
240
00:09:58,725 --> 00:10:01,353
We're still sinking.
We need to lighten the load.
241
00:10:01,353 --> 00:10:02,938
- No!
- Hedgey, no!
242
00:10:04,272 --> 00:10:06,358
[♪ poignant music playing]
243
00:10:09,736 --> 00:10:11,696
- [Hedgey whinnies]
- [liquid splashing gently]
244
00:10:11,696 --> 00:10:13,490
- [Hedgey vocalizing]
- [both gasp]
245
00:10:14,407 --> 00:10:17,994
His quills protect him
from the hand sanitizer!
246
00:10:17,994 --> 00:10:19,162
Good boy!
247
00:10:19,162 --> 00:10:22,290
Ha! I'm learning a shit-ton
about hedgehogs today.
248
00:10:22,290 --> 00:10:23,792
Crap!
249
00:10:23,792 --> 00:10:26,419
We took on too much goo. Come on!
250
00:10:27,671 --> 00:10:29,256
We can save the food, pass it over.
251
00:10:29,256 --> 00:10:30,882
We can't leave the cart.
252
00:10:30,882 --> 00:10:32,926
We can build a new cart.
253
00:10:33,426 --> 00:10:35,011
Stop it!
What are you doing?
254
00:10:35,011 --> 00:10:37,639
We don't need the cart
if we don't have the food!
255
00:10:38,265 --> 00:10:39,432
It's ruined.
256
00:10:39,975 --> 00:10:41,476
Goddammit.
257
00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:46,231
[♪ tense music playing]
258
00:10:48,775 --> 00:10:49,818
[groans]
259
00:10:50,902 --> 00:10:53,947
You better have a really good answer
for what just happened.
260
00:10:53,947 --> 00:10:56,366
Um, I did the cart thing.
261
00:10:56,366 --> 00:10:58,868
You call hand sanitizer goo.
262
00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:00,453
Let's not point fingers.
263
00:11:00,453 --> 00:11:01,997
What is wrong with you?
264
00:11:04,916 --> 00:11:06,710
[Miss Thing hissing]
265
00:11:08,962 --> 00:11:10,964
- [JK Sevens beeps]
- [Pupa grunts]
266
00:11:12,507 --> 00:11:13,842
[sighs]
267
00:11:14,259 --> 00:11:16,136
Ah! Au Bon Pain!
268
00:11:17,262 --> 00:11:19,097
[Terry] I forgive you
for getting gacked on blow
269
00:11:19,097 --> 00:11:20,390
and then running me over
with your convertible.
270
00:11:20,390 --> 00:11:22,142
No matter how many castles you defeat,
271
00:11:22,142 --> 00:11:25,103
you'll never find the drug
that makes you you again.
272
00:11:25,103 --> 00:11:27,731
You know, I remember when you started out
as a simple gamer boy,
273
00:11:27,731 --> 00:11:29,774
but ever since the movie came out,
you've changed.
274
00:11:29,774 --> 00:11:32,193
You wanna fight the final boss?
Look in the mirror.
275
00:11:32,193 --> 00:11:34,946
[friend] [in Italian accent]
Wahoo, that was beautiful, Terry.
276
00:11:34,946 --> 00:11:37,908
But I'm gonna have to say, "Oh, no!"
277
00:11:37,908 --> 00:11:40,285
You think I need your pity,
you little bitches?
278
00:11:40,285 --> 00:11:41,369
[Terry] I'm a little bitch?
279
00:11:41,369 --> 00:11:44,080
You're the one who offered to blow
Eric Stonestreet for an eight ball.
280
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,749
[friend] So what if I did?
281
00:11:45,749 --> 00:11:48,793
It's a-me, I'm a fucking a-movie star now!
282
00:11:48,793 --> 00:11:50,212
- [Terry] You begged him!
- [Pupa gasps]
283
00:11:50,212 --> 00:11:52,339
[Korvo] Calm down, Terrance,
let him express his feelings.
284
00:11:52,339 --> 00:11:54,049
[friend] I don't wanna be here!
285
00:11:54,049 --> 00:11:57,093
The Last of Us people don't have
to put up with this shit.
286
00:11:57,093 --> 00:11:59,179
[Jesse] The Last of Us guys
didn't drive their Kart
287
00:11:59,179 --> 00:12:01,848
off the PCH hopped up on PCP.
288
00:12:02,641 --> 00:12:03,892
[Sofia hammering]
289
00:12:05,435 --> 00:12:06,728
What were you thinking?
290
00:12:06,728 --> 00:12:08,230
Can we talk about this later?
291
00:12:08,230 --> 00:12:11,149
That bounty hunter's still out there.
We gotta get going.
292
00:12:11,149 --> 00:12:13,860
Get going where exactly?
You tossed all the food!
293
00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:15,904
Okay, I know it seems bad.
294
00:12:15,904 --> 00:12:17,447
All we have is an empty cart!
295
00:12:17,447 --> 00:12:19,241
I'm never gonna be able to clear my debt.
296
00:12:19,241 --> 00:12:20,450
Yes, you will.
297
00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:21,618
This isn't DoorDash.
298
00:12:21,618 --> 00:12:23,370
When you get paid to transport food,
299
00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:25,580
you don't get paid without the food!
300
00:12:25,580 --> 00:12:27,332
We weren't transporting food!
301
00:12:27,332 --> 00:12:30,126
Oh, I'm sorry,
then what were we doing?
302
00:12:30,126 --> 00:12:31,628
We're hauling this.
303
00:12:32,796 --> 00:12:34,839
[♪ intense dramatic music playing]
304
00:12:34,839 --> 00:12:36,758
That's the real payload.
305
00:12:36,758 --> 00:12:38,677
A stupid metal wheel?
306
00:12:38,677 --> 00:12:40,804
It's a valve for a water spigot.
307
00:12:40,804 --> 00:12:44,474
We can use it to turn
the sprinklers back on.
308
00:12:44,474 --> 00:12:45,559
Crops will grow again.
309
00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,353
Everyone will have
all the fruit they want.
310
00:12:48,353 --> 00:12:50,438
- So you lied to me?
- I had to.
311
00:12:50,939 --> 00:12:53,858
The grass, everything is dying.
312
00:12:54,359 --> 00:12:56,861
Someone turned the sprinklers off.
313
00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,532
They were trying to take
all the power and control the yard.
314
00:13:00,532 --> 00:13:02,784
If they knew we had this...
315
00:13:03,535 --> 00:13:05,662
That bounty hunter
isn't even after me.
316
00:13:06,079 --> 00:13:07,622
He's after this fuckin' valve.
317
00:13:07,622 --> 00:13:10,542
Okay, technically, yes,
but I had no choice.
318
00:13:10,542 --> 00:13:13,378
Look, all you have to do
is deliver this spigot to our contact
319
00:13:13,378 --> 00:13:15,547
and you will get your Yardbucks.
320
00:13:15,547 --> 00:13:16,965
This is exactly the type of
321
00:13:16,965 --> 00:13:20,468
Tim and Sisto political bullshit
I will not be part of.
322
00:13:20,468 --> 00:13:22,929
Controlling water isn't political.
323
00:13:22,929 --> 00:13:25,307
What? [sputters]
Haven't you seen Chinatown?
324
00:13:25,307 --> 00:13:27,392
I only watch movies on Disney Plus!
325
00:13:27,392 --> 00:13:29,728
Yeah, well, that's pretty fuckin' clear.
326
00:13:30,770 --> 00:13:31,897
What are you doing?
327
00:13:31,897 --> 00:13:34,900
If you leave now,
you, you, you won't get paid!
328
00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:36,735
Ah, what good's money
329
00:13:36,735 --> 00:13:40,697
if I get killed by some Back Yard Duke
before I can spend it?
330
00:13:41,239 --> 00:13:43,909
Come on, Hedgey,
let's leave this liar liar
331
00:13:43,909 --> 00:13:45,827
before her pants catch on fire.
332
00:13:45,827 --> 00:13:47,662
[♪ poignant music playing]
333
00:13:47,662 --> 00:13:49,289
Fine, leave!
334
00:13:49,289 --> 00:13:52,417
I don't need you. I'll do it myself!
335
00:13:55,128 --> 00:13:56,880
Stupid Gavin.
336
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,423
Stupid jerk.
337
00:13:58,423 --> 00:14:00,508
Doesn't even wanna save the Back Yard.
338
00:14:00,508 --> 00:14:01,885
[panting]
339
00:14:01,885 --> 00:14:03,511
- Asshole!
- [grass rustling]
340
00:14:04,095 --> 00:14:06,723
[♪ suspenseful Western music playing]
341
00:14:09,226 --> 00:14:10,435
[lizard growling]
342
00:14:10,435 --> 00:14:11,770
You.
343
00:14:11,770 --> 00:14:13,104
[lizard snarls]
344
00:14:17,108 --> 00:14:19,110
You killed my uncle!
345
00:14:19,110 --> 00:14:20,320
[shouts]
346
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:21,905
[Sofia screams]
347
00:14:24,115 --> 00:14:25,825
[Korvo] Look, we just wanna
see you get off the streets
348
00:14:25,825 --> 00:14:27,077
and back to the Mushroom Kingdom.
349
00:14:27,077 --> 00:14:28,536
[Yumyulack]
No more tennis, no more golf,
350
00:14:28,536 --> 00:14:30,121
no more superstar sagas.
351
00:14:30,121 --> 00:14:32,040
[friend] Oh, come on.
352
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,834
[Jesse] Please go to rehab.
You know it's the right thing to do.
353
00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:37,003
- [Terry] Let us love you.
- [Yumyulack] Please!
354
00:14:37,003 --> 00:14:38,588
[Jesse] Can you get me
a meeting with Toad?
355
00:14:38,588 --> 00:14:42,509
[friend]
Oh, God, I'm a big piece of shit!
356
00:14:43,260 --> 00:14:45,178
I'm-a so sorry, you guys.
357
00:14:45,512 --> 00:14:48,723
I just wanna kill turtles
and go on odysseys, you know?
358
00:14:49,224 --> 00:14:51,560
I'm so sick of shooting up
in the bathroom
359
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,103
of a Long John Silver's
360
00:14:53,103 --> 00:14:56,481
with the fighters from
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation!
361
00:14:56,481 --> 00:14:57,983
- [crying]
- [Miss Thing snarls]
362
00:14:57,983 --> 00:14:59,442
- Shh.
- [Korvo] What the hell was that?
363
00:15:00,652 --> 00:15:02,445
Huh. It's probably not important
to the story.
364
00:15:02,445 --> 00:15:05,323
[Terry] Huh, I guess
it was just our imagination.
365
00:15:05,323 --> 00:15:06,741
[friend] [sniffles]
Thank you, guys.
366
00:15:06,741 --> 00:15:09,119
I was so close to game over,
367
00:15:09,119 --> 00:15:11,246
but now it feels like I have hope.
368
00:15:11,246 --> 00:15:12,789
[guest]
Birdo, Birdo, Birdo!
369
00:15:12,789 --> 00:15:14,958
[Terry]
Jesus Christ, this isn't about you.
370
00:15:14,958 --> 00:15:16,793
- [JK Sevens whirring]
- Mmm.
371
00:15:23,174 --> 00:15:24,259
[Hedgey groans]
372
00:15:24,259 --> 00:15:25,844
What's the matter, H?
373
00:15:25,844 --> 00:15:28,430
You can't still be hungry
after that double helping of mealworms.
374
00:15:29,222 --> 00:15:31,850
No, no, do not give me that look.
375
00:15:32,851 --> 00:15:35,061
Yeah, I know, I-I was starting
to like her too,
376
00:15:35,061 --> 00:15:36,813
even though she said I dress "daggy,"
377
00:15:36,813 --> 00:15:38,523
whatever that means.
378
00:15:38,899 --> 00:15:40,525
Hey, hey, come on, stop!
379
00:15:40,525 --> 00:15:42,110
I'm in charge here!
380
00:15:44,821 --> 00:15:45,864
[Gavin shouts]
381
00:15:47,032 --> 00:15:49,159
Fine, we can go back.
382
00:15:49,159 --> 00:15:51,953
Once we know she's safe, though,
we are gone for good.
383
00:15:51,953 --> 00:15:53,371
- [Hedgey purring]
- Alright.
384
00:15:53,371 --> 00:15:55,165
Okay then, if we're doing this,
let's hurry up.
385
00:15:55,582 --> 00:15:56,625
Hyah!
386
00:15:59,127 --> 00:16:01,087
I think we really got through to him.
387
00:16:01,087 --> 00:16:02,589
Eh, he won't last the month.
388
00:16:02,589 --> 00:16:04,507
The Thanksgiving Day Parade's
right around the corner,
389
00:16:04,507 --> 00:16:06,718
and you know how he gets
around the Rockettes.
390
00:16:06,718 --> 00:16:09,930
Okay, I wonder what kind of shit show
we're walking into down here.
391
00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:12,057
[director] [on screen] Four donkeys died
during the production.
392
00:16:12,057 --> 00:16:15,018
The stage lights were just
too hot for the little guys.
393
00:16:15,018 --> 00:16:17,395
We are very proud of you two.
394
00:16:17,395 --> 00:16:20,232
You went the whole day
without fighting, good job.
395
00:16:20,232 --> 00:16:22,317
Go upstairs
and get your puffy coats,
396
00:16:22,317 --> 00:16:24,069
we're going to Au Bon Pain!
397
00:16:24,069 --> 00:16:25,237
- Yay!
- [JK Sevens beeping]
398
00:16:32,077 --> 00:16:33,828
I need a fuckin' smoke.
399
00:16:34,746 --> 00:16:36,164
They only had Camel Crushes.
400
00:16:36,164 --> 00:16:37,999
Gross. Hand them over.
401
00:16:39,084 --> 00:16:40,961
Terry, you brilliant son of a bitch.
402
00:16:40,961 --> 00:16:42,879
I can't believe your plan worked.
403
00:16:42,879 --> 00:16:45,215
Pretending to get
our friend hooked on heroin
404
00:16:45,215 --> 00:16:46,758
so we can have an intervention excuse
405
00:16:46,758 --> 00:16:48,885
to lock the Pupa
and JK Sevens down here...
406
00:16:48,885 --> 00:16:52,138
So they would work together
and become friends!
407
00:16:52,138 --> 00:16:54,432
-"Pretending"?
- Either way, I'm impressed.
408
00:16:54,432 --> 00:16:55,892
It's called parenting, honey.
409
00:16:55,892 --> 00:16:57,060
Top work, Miss Thing.
410
00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:58,812
Looking forward to working together again.
411
00:16:58,812 --> 00:17:00,480
[together]
Miss Thing, Miss Thing,
412
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:01,565
- Miss Thing!
- Alright!
413
00:17:01,565 --> 00:17:02,774
- Yeah!
- You go, girl!
414
00:17:02,774 --> 00:17:05,610
Little one hit me with
a container of laundry detergent.
415
00:17:05,610 --> 00:17:06,820
Here's an extra 20.
416
00:17:06,820 --> 00:17:09,614
You're free to head out into the world
and spread like a virus or whatever.
417
00:17:09,614 --> 00:17:11,116
We don't really care
what you do to humans.
418
00:17:11,116 --> 00:17:12,909
Well, here's a tip, don't do drugs.
419
00:17:12,909 --> 00:17:16,413
- [Solars laughing]
- [Miss Thing coughs]
420
00:17:21,251 --> 00:17:23,003
[sniffing]
421
00:17:23,003 --> 00:17:25,755
Huh. It looks like she stopped here
and went off-road.
422
00:17:25,755 --> 00:17:27,883
- [Hedgey squeaks]
- What is it, bud?
423
00:17:28,592 --> 00:17:31,469
[♪ somber music playing]
424
00:17:33,054 --> 00:17:34,055
Oh...
425
00:17:35,015 --> 00:17:37,517
Lizard tracks, dammit!
426
00:17:38,643 --> 00:17:41,646
[♪ epic music playing]
427
00:17:43,732 --> 00:17:46,735
Oh, why did it have
to be Basketballburgh?
428
00:17:47,736 --> 00:17:51,281
There's two dozen bastards down there
who'd love to see me dead.
429
00:17:51,281 --> 00:17:52,616
[Hedgey squeaks]
430
00:17:52,616 --> 00:17:54,284
Yeah, I know.
431
00:17:54,284 --> 00:17:57,120
As usual, I don't have a choice.
432
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:58,204
Hyah!
433
00:17:58,622 --> 00:18:01,791
I'll bet you 10 Yardbucks
I won't gamble, okay?
434
00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:08,757
[♪ eerie music playing]
435
00:18:08,757 --> 00:18:10,050
[gasps]
436
00:18:13,678 --> 00:18:15,013
What the hell?
437
00:18:22,812 --> 00:18:25,398
[gasps] The rollercoaster!
438
00:18:26,441 --> 00:18:28,568
Wow, it's so green.
439
00:18:29,110 --> 00:18:31,446
Well done, Little Richard, really.
440
00:18:31,446 --> 00:18:33,657
Tip-top work.
Here's your Yardbucks.
441
00:18:33,657 --> 00:18:35,909
Treat your wife to a nice meal, on me.
442
00:18:35,909 --> 00:18:38,745
We're all the same size.
That name doesn't make any sense.
443
00:18:38,745 --> 00:18:40,789
It's because I have a tiny dick!
444
00:18:40,789 --> 00:18:42,040
Happy?
445
00:18:42,958 --> 00:18:44,876
Wait, I know you.
446
00:18:44,876 --> 00:18:47,712
You used to be the head
of the Wall Council.
447
00:18:47,712 --> 00:18:49,548
You were one of the good guys.
448
00:18:49,548 --> 00:18:52,050
I still am a good guy.
449
00:18:52,050 --> 00:18:55,720
I can't thank you enough for guarding this
as you crossed the Yard.
450
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,056
Now, with all the spigots,
451
00:18:58,056 --> 00:19:01,142
I can control all the water
452
00:19:01,142 --> 00:19:05,647
as far as the tiny eye can see!
453
00:19:05,647 --> 00:19:07,899
[laughs evilly]
454
00:19:07,899 --> 00:19:11,945
Dammit, I bet this is just like Chinatown.
455
00:19:11,945 --> 00:19:14,906
[evil laughter continues]
456
00:19:18,994 --> 00:19:21,997
[♪ dramatic theme playing]
457
00:19:44,144 --> 00:19:47,147
♪
458
00:20:03,371 --> 00:20:04,873
[mimicking laser fire]